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[Fx-PP] Rebuilding slowly (Kyoto, Havok, and i)


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I sit in my shop staring at my materials that i have. I know i could start helping Havok with his familiar by making him his crystal, but what's the point? i clearly showed i couldn't do anything right against that Gemini. He had clearly beat me in everyway possible, so what right do i have to think i can make anything useful if i'm barely good enough to hold my sword and shield. I look towards my room as i think that as they are stored in my room not even within my inventory at this moment. Not seeing a use to having them with me if i'm not fit to be a warrior. i sigh softly knowing being in this shop isn't good for me. I slowly get up and makes my way out of my shop and towards the town of Snowfrost on the fourth floor. Having my coat on along with my vanity clothing of black shirt and pants. I stare  forward as i make my way out of the cave that my shop resides in and towards the town as i enter it. I look around slowly with a look of just no emotion. I look down and wonders what purpose was it to get stronger if i could've been killed so easy. Their is no point in this. I'll just wait this game out. The frontlines need capable warriors not weak fools who think they are something when they are meaningless. I say softly and bitterly to myself as i watch my breathe leave my lips do to how cold it is on this floor.

@Havok@XxSulSus

Edited by Hestia
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On floor 2 Kyoto looked at his friends list… Realizing it’s not very big. He only has Itzal, Hestia, and Atzo on his friends list. Speaking of Hestia what happen to her. Haven’t heard from her in a couple of day. It says she’s still around. Maybe he should go check up on her. Kyoto walked over to the teleport gates as he then teleported to floor 4. Walking down to the town he searched for Hestia. About half way through the town he sees Hestia standing there like she’s lost. Kyoto walks up to her. “Are you alright? Haven’t heard from you in a while.” Kyoto smiled as he brushed her hair out of her eyes as the wind keeps blowing it into a mess. “Come on let go to the pub or the inn and get out of this cold.” Kyoto smiles as he looks around for the nearest pub or inn.

@Havok

Edited by XxSulSus
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Why aren't you getting stronger? That should be your priority not worrying about some Paladin who can't do her job right. I say as i look at you with a slightly dead look in my eyes. Like their is nothing worth fighting for. Just get stronger and just beat this game without me. I can't do my job so i'm not needed. I say as i look around as the snow continues to fall like it always does on this floor. Not that bothered by the cold since i am wearing a jacket, and i just don't really care about how cold my face is. Having been wandering around the town of Snowfrost for a few hours at this point. I just look up at you as you seem to be still searching for that inn. I smile a bit glad you still don't seem to know the true threat of the game. I take my hands out of my pockets as i just look at them. Wondering what to even do with them now. Feeling like i can't ever look at my gear again the same way. Having almost died to someone who looks like me. That fact always being reminded when i have flashback towards that scene of almost dying whenever i see my reflection.

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The tears, they were what fell first. It was not a case of surprising news, for he had expected this. It was not the timing of it either, because he had been prepared for this. No, it was for something else. It was because she cried first, her voice breaking, faltering mid syllable. She could not finish what she had not started, but even though words failed her, her message was painfully clear. She was sorry. She was sorry. 

The concept was foreign to him in that moment, and he could only sob as they sunk to the floor together, holding each other. What type of person had she thought him to be, that she should apologize for something not only beyond her control, but caused her indescribable pain and suffering. Was it parental fiat? Was that what allowed her to have these emotions? That she would disappointed in herself for impacting someone else...was that a societal quirk? Did polite culture demand that level of faux meekness? His heart was broken that she even thought it proper, that on a fundamental level she could somehow rationalize it.

She was the one with the chronic pain, the deterioration of her muscles...the loss of cognitive function. As if God had not given her the finger hard enough with something as simple as Multiple Sclerosis...he had to throw in early onset dementia. It was in that moment that it dawned on him, that normal would never a thing again. That while her heart broke for any inconvenience it would mean to him, he understood. She too recognized that she wanted to care while she still could, that this feeling - recognizing the pain she would cause her son, might be ultimately fleeting. She would never be guaranteed to have it again.

Thus, there and then, he decided to allow her the dignity she was owed. He stopped his own crying and simply hugged her harder. Her tears were more than enough for the both of him, and that was her right. Of course his father was not there for this day, but that was no surprise. 

- ] - [ -

Taro's eyes shot open as he sat up. He cursed to himself as he checked the time. He had only meant for it to be a quick nap, not to waste an entire morning. Hell he had even meant to check in on Hestia, one of two friends he had. She had mentioned needing some alone time for a personal quest or two, and he had not given it a second thought. She was damn near unkillable from what he had seen, and she knew how to take care of herself. She was in no real danger; she was likely seeking out a few of the extra skills out there. 

So he had given her space, which in turn let him handle some business he had needed to attend to. He had two orders in, one with Macradon and one with Domarus. As soon as those two pieces of equipment were finished, he would feel a lot more comfortable moving forward. Between her calling as a paladin and him as a dragoon, especially mixed with Kyoto, they would be unbeatable in the lower floors.

Which is why it was odd to Taro when tried to surprise her and instead found another player near her while she...seemed sad? Hell while he was in full on battle gear, she was...in a coat. Something was off as he got close, that was clear. "He-...hey Hestia. Thought I'd surprise ya, and I am guessing this is Kyoto...but you ok?" Taro's eyes narrowed as he looked the new player over. He better not have messed with her. Taro would go orange for that, he cared little for abusers.

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No i'm not Havok, but i'll say this now so you don't here it from someone else. Look for a new tank i'm useless in battle. If i can't protect myself their is no use in trying to protect you two. I say rather plainly as i look at Havok and then towards Kyoto. You two remember to get stronger okay i would prefer you not to die because of a person who can't protect themselves like i am okay. I say softly as i look around. Not moving away from these two since i know they'll have questions. That a person like myself who is usually full of cheer and positivity to viewing themselves as utterly worthless would be something that not many would expect ever. However, the fact of facing death, and barely doing anything to the person who did it really changes the mind. Letting the person know how small they are before the forces they are fighting against in this game. That is what i had experienced just a short few days prior. Being absolutely powerless and being on the brink of death. Only getting the pity of my enemy who called me weak and useless, and finding i have to agree since i failed at my role. My role of being a protector.

I look down as i fight back tears as the term protector comes to mind as i think to my sister, and mother. I begin to wonder do i even have the right to be viewed as their protector? If i come out of this game well i be able to properly help them anymore. I look down sniffling a little bit from having to fight back tears already between two people who i had done my best to look strong for. I then slowly try to make my away past Kyoto, and Havok not wanting them to see me cry and break down.

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Kyoto grabs a hold of Hestia’s arm as he then hugs her. “Do you remember what I said yesterday? Well you never left my party after that i saw your HP get low. I would of been there with you if you stop doing those solo quest.” Kyoto started to cry a little. “No one is going to die in my party Hestia.” Kyoto looks at her as he sees nothing but a blank stare. “Come join my guild you already know a few of us and they will get you through this death game. We can beat this together.” Kyoto smiles wiping her tears building up into her eyes and then fixing her hair. Kyoto then looks over at Havok. While hugging her tight he said “You must be Havok. Hestia told me about you.” Kyoto then looks back at Hestia and sees her beautiful blueish grey eyes hoping she will want to try again. “You shouldn’t quit just because one one thing. Look around there’s a lot of people that care about you. Heck Itzal even asked about you. You can just give up.”

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Taro blinked, completely caught off guard at what was playing out before him. He could not begin to fathom just what in hell's name she was going on about. Not able to protect herself? She was definitely not daft, and he had not heard anyone losing their mind in the game so far. What could she possibly mean then? She was too low level to take risks against higher level mobs or quest bosses, and she knew that as well, more than most. And what was she on about not letting someone else die because of her? Like everything was dependent on her, and other's could make no choices? 

Which of course...this was not what Taro expected. Kyoto's words were kind, on point and most definitely well received in many circles. However, they were not by Taro. "See, I am going to disagree about all this Hestia. I consider you one of my only friends here, but it's not going to be ok. Nothing about this gets easier. Every step we take upwards is going to be more dangerous than the last, but do you want to know something? None of that bleeping sheep fiddlesticks stuff should matter. You are plenty strong enough and intelligent to succeed. You had a bad quest? Guess what it happens, but the strong people, those with character? They rise above the challenges. They depend on their friends, their allies, to help carry some of the burden. So wipe those tears Hestia, and keep your chin up."

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I hear you two speak as i just shake my head not feeling confident still in any sort of matter at all. I almost died okay. I almost died and was only spared from death by the quests mechanics. It wasn't even a fight i was thoroughly beat in every way possible with no chance of victory from the start. That is what happened, and why i feel like i am a burden and nothing else towards you two. How can someone who is of any use be so easily almost put to the blade. How can i be any bit strong if this supposed shield is nothing. That is why i view myself as a failure right now. Cause i am one, and nothing can change the failure that happened. I lost to myself that Gemini. Who looked exactly like me down to my gear. I truly feel like i am powerless and useless if i can't protect myself. From the enemy. Imagine if that actually happened. Someone took my looks and just started to live my life and who would know? who would notice my disappearance then if someone just took over my life after killing me.

I turn my head away from you both unable to meet your gaze as i can feel myself tremble slightly from trying to keep all sorts of emotions out of my voice as i was speaking. Hating myself, and feeling angered that i can do nothing at all in this moment to be strong. Why am i so weak? I say softly to myself, but against my wishes i am still heard by you two.

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Kyoto grabs her wrist. “Who’s says you’re weak? Your a strong young lady that had one bad quest. Hestia… I know the feeling of what’s it like to almost die. I was a level 1 in my old guild. Me and Stryder… Stryder. He told me he was going to get me out of there alive. He almost did. If it wasn’t for Atzo I probably won't be here. Even though they don’t like me I owe them my life. Atzo the one who really saved me but Stryder… Well he protected me instead of letting me die. I was the reason why he refuses to let someone in his party die. And now I bet he wishes he didn’t save me that day. Either way Hestia. If I can make it through something like that… Fighting a level 10 monster at a level 1. I promise you that no matter what happens in the future you’re going to have someone if anything the two of us with you to help you and protect you.” Kyoto starts to cry a little as he then gives her another tight hug where she basically shouldn’t be able to move.

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