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[PP-F01] (Black, Mutsu) In Sickness and in Health <<Secret Medicine of the Forest>>


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Black smirked as Mutsu became enraged and went all out on the Nepent, sparing no opportunity for mercy. Black laughed as the leafy green plant burst into sparkles that coated the jingling girl before disappearing. She squirmed in reaction to the cruel thoughts of pervy Nepents  and he couldn't help but just laugh at the scene, despite his armor taking hits and enemies exploding behind him. He tapped his sword against his shoulder as she growled at him like a vicious chihuahua. 

"Oh goodness..well..I guess it's true what they say. Some women are just like fine wine..they just get better with age." He grins as he unleashes a slightly more powerful regular strike on a Nepent, before it too get's impaled on the spikes of his armor. "Damn things keep killing themselves...they're worse than freaking suicide bombers.." Black shakes his head. "Damn taliwhackers..of course we are on their turf..maybe this is Jihad all over again...might be time to call in the Knights so they can go all Deus Vult mode...lowkey I heard rumors that their was actually some guild called Knights of Christ or whatever in this game. What the hell is that all about?" 

He then bobs his head. "Yeah, Two Steps from Hell would always pop up on youtube. Tran-Siberian Orchestra I learned about after a music appreciation class. They were really good, too. I went to my first little upscale concert like a year ago at college. I actually see why some people get excited, although you almost never hear that s*** in the hood. Good jams regardless though. A lot of modern music just build off the foundation of classical music anyway."

@Mutsu

 

Spoiler

a8d542f4df3356a9ce87692f4b467a51.png

4+2= -6 HP to Nepent F 

(Nepent F Paralyzed)
9670f50bd4ad992d74c02613b17530fe.png

Nepent G attack on Black 
-1 HP to Black 

d68aade15c56671996cb1efafabb2918.png

Nepent C attack on Black 
-1 HP to Black
-18 HP to Nepent C

Nepents G: 7/7

Nepent F 1/7

Nepent A, B, C, D, & E: 0/7 (DEAD)
 

Mutsu: 19/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 0)
Black: 255/260 (Hate: 0) - G

 

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ID: 107440
BD: 1 (Miss)

Nepents G: 7/7
Nepent A, B, C, D, E, and F: 0/7 (DEAD)

Mutsu: 19/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 0)
Black: 255/260 (Hate: 2) - C

"Take that! Go, go Gadget Javelin!" Mutsu tried to fling her sarissa at the last Nepent. The ridiculously large weapon had all the aerodynamic properties of a semi, and flew about as far as one. It thudded into the ground and dug up a nice deep furrow of digital ground. The remaining nepent was, quite clearly both unimpressed and undeterred by the improvised attack. "Well, that didn't work. Another urban myth dispelled."

"Everything about me gets better with age," Mutsu declared, still showing that she had absolutely no self image issues as she jingled around the battlefield like a demented elf of Santa. Or maybe Satan. It was difficult to tell sometimes. "Until I get old, like the Cryptkeeper. Then things will start to sag." She scowled and made a sour face. "I need to win the Holy Grail War so I can wish to never get old. This is the right thing for that, right?"

"Everything builds off of Classical, except for original Japanese, which is it's own unique thing," Mutsu declared, spinning in a jingling circle and flashing the V for Victory sign with her right hand. "And there's always religious zealots in every game. You'd think they'd think it was a sin or something... but I bet you there's some player in here with a name like j3sus4ev3r or IHartS4t4n... which is the same thing, different religion, when you think about it." As she was speaking she made no effort to retrieve her weapon. What was the point anyway? If these monsters were the best that a "death game" could throw at them then the challenge level was apparently on the shallow end of a toddler pool.

@Black

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Black tilted his head to the side as if to say 'What the [censored]?' as he listened to her talking about go go gadget weapons. He licked his lips and looked aeay chuckling as the short girl missed with her long polearm. "Dang. All that reach and you still can't hit them little things. " He laughed. "Sounds like I might need to whip up some accuracy foods as a care package." 

Black watch as the weapon skidded through the dirt. Then he heard her follow up by speaking of unquestionable charms. "I swear you keep jingling around stabbing things like you're actually Satan."

Black laughs at her mention of holy grail wars. "Alright fine. You can be my summon. Come on, Saber." He waves her over as he cuts a huge chunk off the Nepent and it wailed out in pain. His ebony blade sparked like a lightning rod and sent a paralytic surge of electricity into his opponent. 

"This ones all you. I'm unequipping the thorn armor soon and going streaking through the woods since I don't want to kill it. " He joked as the nepent missed. 

He listens to her talking about original Japanese music and religion. "Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. All we need is a PK Guild called the Inquisition. Join the faith or due! Hmm...maybe I should open up a church and start taking ten percent. " The Marine says rubbing his beard mischievously. "I could deck out the rest of the estate in like two months easy. " The conniving chef thought as he pictured himself in his estate showered by a harem of women and col. 

Spoiler

 

ID- 107409

BD- 9 

MD -2 

- 6 HP to Nepent G 

 

Nepents G: 2/7
Nepent A, B, C, D, F, & E: 0/7 (DEAD)
 

Mutsu: 19/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 0)
Black: 256/260 (H 3/3) - G/F

 

Black HP 259/260 | EN 26/26 | 30 MIT| 2 PARA | 1 TNT  | 1 REC

 

ID- 107408 

BD - 4 (Nepent F missed) 

 

Note: I forgot that my crit last post paralyzed Nepent F so it never got to damage me to die by my Thorns. 

 

 

 

 

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ID: 107486
BD: 4 (Miss)

Nepents F & G: 1/7
Nepent A, B, C, D, and E: 0/7 (DEAD)

Mutsu: 19/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 0)
Black: 255/260 (Hate: 3) - F & G

"It's this stupid beginner weapon," Mutsu growled, bending over and retrieving her weapon and not caring one bit about the affect that it might give to her body in the leather pants she was wearing. The pants she was only wearing until she could obtain for herself a proper set of armor. "It has no accuracy. It has no damage. All it has is an adorable little bell, see?" Mutsu pirouetted gracefully and extended the business end of the sarissa until it was practically under @Black's nose, then she gave the weapon a little shake and it jingled. "And I had to put that on there. It's not the bell's fault the weapon sucks."

The mention of 'actually Satan' triggered something in Mutsu's memory from a parody she'd seen of Fate/Stay Night. "Oh yes Black, as with everything else about me, you've correctly deduced that I AM ACTUALLY SATAN! And I'm not a Sabre-class servant, I'm clearly a Lancer-class," she continued, striking a pose an ignoring the fact that what she had just said could be taken as a crude double entendre, at least for a few seconds until it caught up with her what she had just uttered. Then she glared at Black as if it was all his fault that she'd just said something unintentionally crude.

"Are you being pre-verted," Mutsu demanded, giving the taller man a very cross look. "That's where you say or do something perverted before I realize you've done it," she continued, explaining the term. "So, are you thinking pre-verted things right now," she huffed, puffing out her cheeks and bouncing on her feet which set all the bells to jingling again.

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Black opened his menu and selected his armor and unequipped it. He traded it out for his rare beginner armor that gave a few extra points of mitigation. He then plopped on the ground and began munching on a bagel with cream cheese, showing blatant disrespect for the nepents trying to smack him. “Mmm..alright time for my lunch break!” He cheered as he turned his back to the nepents. “Damn, these guys are trying to whip me like a Hebrew slave. I'm sorry, Massah! I's don't want no trouble! “ He throws his hands up at the Nepent, begging for mercy.

He then chuckles and looks to Mutsu, as her spear comes out towards him and impales his bagel, before jingling around and shattering it. “But...but...my bagel…” He starts reaching his hands through the shatter dust, trying to shovel the crumbs in his mouth.

“Yeah, that spear is trash. My beginner spear is trash. That Macradon guy from the Knights of Blood Oath guild. You should look into him. Fifty percent off all gear for levels 15 and under. You can come out in all perfect gear. Be decked out like a champion.

“I f***ing knew it! Only someone who was ACTUALLY SATAN would ruin a damn good bagel. “ He then smirks at her. “Lancer class, eh? Everybody knows Lancers are cancer. Strong ass DPS...killing up everything. Robbing us tanks of all the loot. I feel so abused.” He clutches his face in despair.

He then lays down on the grass and yawns. “Pre-verted huh? Sounds about right. Marines have the highest morale, but the filthiest morals. I think the better question is when am I not? Why do you think I became a chef? What woman says no to waking up to the smell of breakfast?  Makes life interesting. “ He chimes, as he turns his head to face her with a boyish grin. “ So you a performer with bells? I guess that means you're a dancer, right? Everybody loves a good dancer. “ He says rather suggestively. "Good way to boost morale for the troops."

Action: Switch Armor

ID-107489

MD- 9

-1 HP to Black

 

ID-107490

MD- 3

-1 HP to Black

 

@Mutsu

 

 

 

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ID: 107524
BD: 2 (Miss)

Nepents F & G: 1/7
Nepent A, B, C, D, and E: 0/7 (DEAD)

Mutsu: 19/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 0)
Black: 253/260 (Hate: 3) - F & G - (Hate: 1 - Mutsu :) )

"Are you sitting down on the job," Mutsu demanded as @Black changed his armor and then sat down on the ground. Instead of attacking the Nepents, they were no threat whatsoever, after all, she whirled the sarissa that was easily three times longer than she was tall above her head with the maximum amount of flourish. Then she brought the haft of the weapon crashing down on Black's head with a resounding digital crack. She may not have been able to hit the nepents with the useless weapon, at least not very much, but apparently smacking a stationary target did not present much of a challenge at all.

"Now you get up , right now, and finish killing these weeds. Make them Weed-B-Gone," she demanded, twirling the spear threateningly and acting is if she might bring it crashing into Black's skull once again. "You can have your snacks when the job's done. You're the muscle and I'm the super attractive brains, who also has bells." That last bit was the part that was of critical importance.

"I dropped off a spear with a merchant to be identified," Mutsu said, continuing the conversation about weapons. "With luck it will come back with Fallen Damage or Holy Damage or PURE CLEANSING FIRE OF THE SUN, as an enhancement," she declared, looking a bit too much like a pyromaniac as she said that last enhancement, an enhancement that did not exist in the game anyway. "The obvious build is heavy armor and two handed spear. Maximum protection, maximum damage, maximum effectiveness."

"I do like bacon," she said, looking a bit wistful. "What kind of a monster doesn't like bacon? Or tea? And, of course, only the worst of criminals like coffee. Or drink their cider cold. Unless it's alcoholic cider, then it has to be cold. Unless you've mulled it first, then it should be warm. But carefully, so that you don't get rid of the carbonation in the drink. All the best ciders come from the U.S. or U.K. But, our budget beers like Sapporo and Kirin are miles better than that crap that Americans brew.

"And I'm the best at dancing. And bells. And music."

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"Uh...well...yeah." Black shrugged at the woman that was scolding him as he looked around like 'Of course I am'. He then dug around in his rucksack and pulled out a nice juicy steak with mashed potatoes and brown gravy, then started to inhale the intoxicating scent as he started to stick a spoon in the mashed potatoes only to be smacked in the head and drop the plate as it cracked and disintegrated into the ground. "Wait...no..no...Maggie made that for me..I haven't had steak in years!" He turned around and looked at Mutsu with a burning intensity. He gasped as he saw the mrker above her head flicker orange. "S***...damn it girl...do you realize what you just did? You're going to be orange for a few hours now because of that. That's going to make you...and maybe anyone close to you a target. "He says shaking his head. "Now I got to babysit you because any player can just kill you now without any form of punishment. " He shakes his head. "And the worst part is...Maggie's restaurant doesn't open until tomorrow..so I won't get another steak." 

He then turns to her. "I mean you seem to be doing a good job on your own. I don't want to stop you. My work here is done.  I killed two. You just need to kill two and then you got to kill two and then the boss spawns." He says pointing over to where the boss should spawn. "Want to know the fun part? He has a chance to say f*** you and not drop the item. Then we get to have fun starting over. " 

He then looks to the two mobs left. "Which is why I stopped attacking and you're just going to kill -ONE- of those mobs and we'll ignore the other one and save him for you if the boss doesn't drop the medicine. Sound good?" He suggests as the pathetic Nepents miss the stationary sitting man who is too lazy to try to evade weaklings. 

 

Spoiler

4bd105cb35cb096dc24092485761e8ea.png

Nepent F Missed 

561dcf78d187d62713720054922fd344.png

Nepent G missed

@Mutsu

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ID: 107581
BD: 6 (Hit)

Nepents G: 1/7
Nepent A, B, C, D, E, and F: 0/7 (DEAD)

Mutsu: 19/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 0)
Black: 253/260 (Hate: 3) - F & G - (Hate: 1 - Mutsu :) )

Mutsu's chocolate eyes rolled upwards where she spied her now orange cursor. Then she spazzed out. "What? What do you mean orange? I didn't kill anyone! Oh! Orange is not a good color for me!" Abruptly, she stopped her tirade and looked pensive. "I guess orange compliments my eyes ok, brown and orange work together. But, it doesn't match the rest of my ensemble, not even at all."

Not paying attention, even slightly to what she was doing, since the nepents were no threat at all, Mutsu swung her weapon back fully intending to bounce the sarissa off of @Black's noggin again. On the backswing, though, the business end of the colossal spear caught one of the remaining nepents. The spearwoman wasn't aware of that fact until the sound of the nepent shattering into cerulean pixels reached her ears. Whirling around she stared at the spot just in time to see the last of the pixels dissolve. "I did it!" She flashed the V for victory sign with her right hand.

"I learned in school," she continued, swiftly changing the subject, "that you shouldn't bring anything to eat unless you brought enough for everyone. Of course," she scowled. "Then I did bring enough mango gummies for everyone to have some, and I still wasn't allowed to have them." She was still pouting and scowling over this long ago childhood slight when the sound of a roar from the grove of trees that Black had indicated caused the woman to squeak and dive behind the tank that was a more tanky tank than she was.

"At least we get to farm XP a little bit if we don't find it the first time," she declared, dropping her weapon and placing both hands in the middle of the much beefier player's bag. "Well, get going! Go fight it! You know what they say, 'Marines lead the way, charge in and save the day!'" Mutsu had no idea if they said that or not, but it rhymed and it sounded good. "The Navy's done it's job, now get in there and kill that thing post-haste! Who's a good Tanky McTankface? You are!"

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Black rubbed his face as the short stacked bell hopper was complaining about her orange markers latest fashion trend. She didn't even seem the least bit concerned as she worked him on the head again which barely felt like anything, but he would just notice his health bar go down by an impressive 1 HP. “I know you like giving lovetaps, but right here in public in front of all the little veggies? Have some decent!”  The warrior grinned as he dug a rice cake from his pack. Once she managed to kill something he shot her a thumbs up. “And the Navy finally catches up on the scoreboard! No worries, still ahead of the Air Force anyway.”

“And I mean..I always bring my bottomless pit of goodies. Got some grilled fish or a Thunder Roll in there if you like sushi or seafood. They give a small boost to your accuracy. “ He suggests before a thunderous roar echoes and the girl hides behind him, rummaging through his bag. “What the hell is this? Operation: Black Shield?” He remarks, referencing a South Park episode. He then selects his Ruby armor with the thorn enhancement….and everything dies.

He looks around. “Well, looks like we get to enjoy each other's company a little longer than I expected. You might want to take that accuracy snack. We'll chow down, then I'll initiate again.”

 

Nepent Boss

HP: 15
Mitigation: 5
Damage: 10
Nepent Variant ignores armor mitigation on a natural roll of 10

 

ID -107582

Boss Nepent Versus Black

BD -6

-1 HP to Black
-18 HP to Nepent Boss

Nepent Boss 0/15 HP

ID-107583

LD-3 (No medicine)

ID-107584

MD-8

Nepent G hit!

-1 HP to black.

-18 HP to Nepent G

 

 

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OOC: What are the bonuses on those snacks?

ID: 107606 (Ignore, forgot we were taking a two round rest period).

+10 HP (full), +1 EN

"Love taps? I have full on love... waterfalls? Rivers? It sounded cleverer in my head," Mutsu grumbled, dropping her weapon and putting both her hands on her chest as if she were going to do something lewd. Except she was wearing a steel plate breastplate that completely covered everything. She'd clearly forgotten that part. "Correction! I have love gongs," she declared, rapping out a smart little riff on the breastplate with her knuckles as @Black killed both the boss nepent and the remaining nepent ankle biter without putting in much work, really at all.

"Of course I'm ahead of the Air Force," she pouted. "But, they do serve a purpose. Someone has to keep the Officer's Golf Course looking nice for the Colonel."

"Bottomless pit of goodies," Mutsu asked, blinking her big brown eyes at Black as he produced two snacks. She eyed them greedily. "I have a blouse full of goodies, but I'm not trading," she declared, accepting the snacks and beginning to pop the sushi rolls into her mouth like candy. "Da! Da! Eecheeban Sooshee! Eez goo-d! Me like," she declared, slipping back into the bad Russian accent as she ate the sushi because... reasons. "Needs some wasabi though. Wasabi horseradish. Not actual wasabi root, there is a difference," she continued, nodding sagely at this bit of culinary wisdom.

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Black blushed lightly at her antics as he swallowed his rice cake and blinked at her stirring him up like some tainted cosplayer. Was she messing with his head? Black smiled and laughed at her. "You have a refreshing sense of humor. Damn near stabbing me in the head though...you trying to do the old acupuncture techniques? I think you're doing it wrong." He says rubbing the back of his head, combing his fingers through his blonde mane.

"Love Gongs?" Black blinked, suddenly focusing on her chest as she taps on her armor. He seems enamored for a few seconds before he breaks his trance. "Huh, what, you say something?" He refocuses on her. "Yeah, I'm sure you do have a bottomless pit of goodies..." He comments, clearly forget what they were talking about until she went rummaging through his things.

 

"I'm still researching what all of these fantasy named foods basically equate to in the real world. Usually if I'm not fighting, I'm always gathering things or tending the farm at my estate near the Waterfall of Sages on the sixth floor.  "The thunder roll is made with lobster salad, shrimp tempura, avocado, and soy paper. " Black beams with delight. He rummages through his pack and conjures up a some wasabi variants. "I study under the Ichiban Academy. The expulsion rate out there is pretty high. Only like 10% of people actually graduate. It's from a group that's all star crazed about the food engineering systems and seeking to make the best quality dishes in all of Aincrad. It's...sort of a big goal of mine to become the best cook in Aincrad. The God-Cook...God-Chef...God-tongue? " Black ponders for a second. "I don't know...but if you taste the food from some of the rank sevens or above...almost everything tastes like an aphrodisiac." He declares as he leans forward with a serious face and points a finger to the sky as if warning her of this awesome deliciousness.

He smiles at the woman enjoy his cooking. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." He chuckles. That's something I made only at Rank 3. By the time I'm Rank 5, I can make feasts and you'll be pounding on my door in the middle of the night begging for more." He laughed, realizing how lewd that must have sounded.

@Mutsu

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Mutsu was just wrapping up with devouring the sushi roll, locking her lips in the process, when @Black finished digging around in his stores and passed the wasabi to her. "A little bit late now," she remarked, taking the second of the offered snacks and digging in with gusto. Obviously, she had no problems with seafood. Like at all.

Turning her attention back towards Black, she caught the blonde man staring in a manner that was clearly unashamed. "I already said I wasn't sharing my goodies... god-tongue or not. Every man thinks they're king of the world in bed, I've yet to meet one that actually was." Nor had she yet met any man, in that manner anyway. Not that such information was going to be widely broadcast. Mutsu was a happy flirt and tease, but the fun stopped there. 

If the boys thought they might get something they were easy to lead on. Once they got it, so her thinking went, they would move on. Nope, best to string them along a little. As long as she made it clear where the line was drawn, and equally that the lads would require a surgery to retrieve the boys if they crossed that line, then it was all in good fun so far as she was concerned.

Then came the comment about knocking and begging. Mutsu scowled at Black then smirked. 

"Why would I need to beg when you're going to bring me free meals whenever I want them," she asked, bouncing and jingling around Black as she finished devouring the fish. "And stop being preverted, you prevert. Maybe I like girls. I don't, but maybe I do... YOU DON'T KNOW! Ok, I don't, or do I?" She put the tip of her pointer finger in her mouth and gave Black an evil look. "Is it time to kill more stuff yet?"

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"I remember a prank I did on my mom when she first ate sushi...I told her to spread the wasabi all over it and take a huge bite! You should have seen the look on her face!" He snickered before deactivating the enchant on his armor. He decided to offer her something else. Here use this.

He let her borrow his "Black's Assault Headband" item that gave +3 ACC.

 

That should make you like never miss with that food item.
Unless like...Kayaba decides to troll you. "

"Oh [censored]...yeah...you want this beginner rare armor with 2 slots of mitigation so you don't got to worry about [censored]? I'd trade you it for a dope song later." He says as he offers her the armor.


"I don't really need it. And I figured you could use it." He says shrugging his shoulders. After her remark he laughed. "In a digital world, I think the banters more fun anyway. Could you imagine if people start sleeping around and Kayaba trolled everyone by giving them the digital clap...you got the AIDS debuff and all of a sudden status effects last five times as long because you got a [censored] immune system. That'd be some bullshit." He laughs.

"Yeah, come on. Let's go kill things you little carpet muncher. " Black chuckled as he opted for wearing a +1 EVA ring without his armor.

Once he found a horde of mobs, he proceeded to initiate combat and get all the ugly f***ers attention after missing one of their friends.

 

ID-107639

BD- 4 Miss

MD- 2 Miss

 

 

Mutsu: 20/20 (2/2 EN) (Hate: 0)
Black: 260/260 ( Hate: 0)

 

Nepent A-D 7/7 HP

 

@Mutsu

 

 

 

 

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ID: 107654, 655, 656, 657
BD: 6 (Hit) [2+3 ACC Clothing+1 ACC Food]
MD: 5 (Miss), 8 (Hit), 5 (Miss),  6 (Hit)

Nepents B, C, D: 7/7
Nepent A: Dead (2x5 DMG [1 Base, 3 Skill, 1 Snack])

Mutsu: 20/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 0) [-2 DMG]
Black: 260/260 (Hate: 0)

"Did she smack you? I woulda smacked you," Mutsu suited action to her words by hauling off and walloping @Black on the back of his head with the open palm of her right hand. Since she had no ability with martial arts, yet, the attack did absolutely nothing to him and had no impact on the color of her cursor as the system did not read it as a legitimate attack. "See? Just like that. Makes a really satisfying sound, don't you think," she asked sweetly as she snatched the offered item from his hand.

"This will never fit," she declared, holding the cloth band up to her chest. "I know elastic is a miracle thing, but I'm pretty sure I've got too much here." She bounced around in her armor which set the world to jingling once again. "Plus it's got no support and I'd be hanging out all over the... oh, it's not supposed to be for that. I thought you were being preverted again." Mutsu took the band of cloth and wound it around her right bicep, knotting it off nice and tight.

"Kayaba? This whole game likes to troll me," she groused, eying the offered armor. It didn't look like it would have left much to the imagination. "My armor already has two ranks of mitigation built into it. The logical build is two-handed assault spear and heavy armor. That allows for the best balance between dealing damage and being protected from it," Mutsu continued, speaking as if she were explaining something very simple.

"Digital AIDS..." Mutsu mused for a second, then she began bouncing around the clearing and jingling as she sang, "Everyone has AIDS! My grandma and my dog, ol' Blue! AIDS, AIDS, AIDS! The Pope has got it and so do you! AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS! Come on everybody we got quiltin' to do! Help us break down these barricades! Everyone has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS!"

Apparently, her shenanigans drew the attention of another wave of Nepents which came storming out to fight them. And they all made a beeline straight for Black.

"RUDE! THIS GAME IS SEXIST!" Snatching up her weapon from the ground, Mutsu launched an assault on one of the little creatures and neatly cut it in half before watching it shatter into pixels. "Victory!" She flashed the V symbol with her right hand and winked a chocolate colored eye at Black. "And if I was a that thing you called me... whatever it is because I don't know... you'd probably like it, because I think you called me something preverted... Pervert."

There was one drawback though to being the first one to kill a Nepent. The other three whirled on her and attacked. "Hey! No!" In came a vine and bounced off her armor, setting Mutsu to jingling. "What? Another one?!? What? No!" Then another one of the leafy jerks landed a solid smack to her armor that continued the merry chorus of bells.

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“Ha! She was too busy running to the water fountains near the restroom because she didn't have any water. Check and mate!” Black giggles like a nefarious imp. “Hey wait...what are you- AH! My head! The PAINNNN! “ Black let out a dramatic look of agony. “I need to call the GM and get in touch with the domestic abuse hotline. I cook and I clean, and this is what I get!” He sniffs in manufactured sorrow. “Yeah, I think the sound of putting you in handcuffs sounds better!”

He statement wasn't made any better by the woman trying to use his headband to put her melons under arrest. He shook his head and laughed. “Ohhh, you trying to sport it like they do in Final Fantasy Advent Children? Respect. “ He bobs his head up and down.

After he engaged the enemy Mutsu would cry out and call the game sexist. “Well...looks like Kayaba just signed the new bill for equal opportunity. You know..as much fun as it would be to watch…” He grunts as he concentrates and shifts the edge of the blade to barely cut a nepent's limb off. “I'd hate to say I wasted good sushi on you if you didn't make it.”

@Mutsu

 

Spoiler

ID-107706

BD- 5 (+1) [Extra Skill: Concentration activated]

 

-10 HP Nepent B

Nepents  C, D: 7/7

Mutsu: 20/20 (0/2 EN) (Ha te: 0) [-2 DMG]
Black: 260/260 (Hate: 0)

 

 

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ID: 107734
BD: 6 (Hit) [2+3 ACC Clothing+1 ACC Food]
MD: 7 (Hit)

Nepents C: 2/7 (-5 DMG)
Nepent D: 7/7
Nepent A & B: Dead

Mutsu: 17/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 1-C) [-1 DMG]
Black: 260/260 (Hate: 0)

"It's not domestic abuse until I kick you in your baby maker," Mutsu declared, scowling at @Black. "Everybody knows that." Lazily, she flicked out her vanity weapon. The sarissa neatly punched into the head of one of the two remaining Nepents, leaving a crimson gash on the creature that disappeared after a few moments. With the various accuracy buffs that were now applied, it was actually rather simple to go about hitting the nasty little creatures. It felt more like she would have had to have tried if she wanted to miss, rather than if she wanted to hit.

"Maybe I have handcuffs, and various other naughty things," Mutsu said, trying to make her voice sound like a seductive purr and not being entirely sure if she succeeded. "Not that you're ever likely to find out. But maybe I do... YOU DON'T KNOW!" She was so focused on the conversation that she failed to notice when one of the nepents hit her again and set her armor to jingling.

Edited by Mutsu
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Black felt something between his legs cave in at the thought of being kicked in the jewels. “What type of psycho woman are you? We need to preserve the baby makers, okay? There's only like...5,000 or so of us left so...we’re pretty much an endangered species! Besides, I'm gonna be spearheading the mission to repopulate Aincrad! It's the only way. We have to get all the people in the world to join forces so we can save humanity! It's the noble thing to do, of course!” She shines his ivory teeth that shimmered like pearls in the radiant sun.

“Hmm..impressive. Maybe you should keep the accuracy buffs as a part of your build. Much more cooler to watch than you fumbling about with an 18 foot walking stick. “ He grins as she skewers her opponent.

He then charges his blade with lightning infused particles and slashes straight through an enemy nepent. “Handcuffs and naughty things? Mutsu, look what you've done. .the poor thing is in shock!” He says referring to the paralyzed nepent that then shatters.

He then shouts at the Nepent that smacks Mutsu. “Hey! Quit kink shaming her!”

 

 

Spoiler

ID-107774

 

BD-10 MD-6

 

-12 HP to Nepent D

Nepent D died!

Nepents C: 2/7 (-5 DMG)
Nepent A B &D: Dead

Mutsu: 17/20 (0/2 EN ) (Hate: 1-C) [-1 DMG]
Black: 260/260 (Hate: 0)

 

 

Edited by Black
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ID: 107827
BD: 7 (Hit) [3+3 ACC Clothing+1 ACC Food]
MD: 2 (Hit)

Nepents C: -3/7 (-5 DMG)
Nepent A, B, C, & D: Dead

Mutsu: 17/20 (0/2 EN)
Black: 259/260 (Hate: 0)

"Did you just assume I have a kink," Mutsu asked, carelessly flicking her sarissa out and killing the last of the little Nepents. "Is that a sexist? That feels like a sexist. Ooh, am I being objectified? I will only allow it if you worship me as though I were a God...dess, a Goddess!" She continued to carry on and bounce around, jingling the entire time and not really noticing hardly at all that the last of the Nepents was dead. "Either way you can take your spear and head in some other direction, and digital babies don't count. Speaking of, can there even be digital babies in this game? I will not be testing that. You go find someone else to 'for science,' with."

Edited by Mutsu
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Black was surprised by the range of crazy stuff that would flow from the woman's mouth. "Oh, now I get it..you must have stole all the points away from your accuracy stat and put them all into wit. " He looked at her like a clever b*******. "That must be some sort of secret comedian hidden skill under that performer skill tree I must not know about. " 

He then thinks of an idea as he takes the time to put on his thorny ruby armor to enjoy the benefits of wrecking the boss with ease before it spawned in. 

Before Black could respond the beast had appeared and he had reacted quickly by giving it a quick slash that barely hampered it at all. "Stupid mitigation.." Black scowled. "Well, come on Goddess! Save your only worshipper. If I give this thing any more lovetaps, you might get to see a whole new kind of baby...you know..'for science' " He laughed. "No, I'm kidding..if you crit and I start to miss..the Goddess will turn into fairy dust. Relax and enjoy some rice cake or something."

 

Spoiler

7e0015dba332fe350cc2dcb2fc81a962.png

-3 HP to Nepent Variant Boss

HP: 12/15
Mitigation: 5
Damage: 10

Mutsu: 17/20 (0/2 EN)
Black: 259/260 (Hate: 2)

 

Edited by Black
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ID: 107933
BD: 9 (Hit) [5+3 ACC Clothing+1 ACC Food]

Boss Nepent - 11/15

Mutsu: 17/20 (0/2 EN) (Hate: 1)
Black: 259/260 (Hate: 2)

"Well, of course I did," Mutsu said in response to the statement about her having put all of her skill points into wit instead of accuracy. "Someone has to be the brains of this outfit," she bounced on her toes which set her outfit to jingling. "And, let's be honest here, that job falls to the navy because everyone knows that the Marines are the crayon eating muscle."

Mutsu giggled at her remark and then flicked her Marissa out at the newly spawned Nepent Boss. The weapon neatly scored a hit on the digital monster. But, unlike with the little Nepents, this time Mutsu hardly did any damage to the boss creature at all. In fact, if she had not seen her weapon hit the monster she would have doubted that she had scored a hit.

Well, if that was the way this was going to work then there was only one response to offer to @Black. "This goddess helps those who help themselves," Mutsu stated, trying to adopt a saintly tone of voice to match the heavenly jingling of the bells on her armor.

Edited by Mutsu
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