[F14 - PP] A Budding Friendship <<The Lich's Calling>>

[Bahr 0]

Good questions. Bahr had to admit that her contention definitely forced him to challenge the preconceived notions he had about this virtual hell. He leaned back in the seat, eyes staring off into nothingness as he lost himself in thought and absently took a swig of coffee from his mug. He swirled it around between his teeth before allowing the soothing liquid to slide down the back of his throat. The conversation had shifted from the objective to the philosophical, and strangely enough, that was a really exciting thing for Bahr. It had been far too long since he had had a deep conversation like this, in which he had to absorb the information and contemplate it before formulating a response. It was invigorating.

He had been forced to put a lot of thought into what Lessa had said, but the slippery slope theory was a fallacy, and for good reason. One couldn't simply extrapolate the absolute worst from the surface level. Bahr had always known that everything in this world was nothing more than trillions of lines of code - including the players - but they had an element that rendered objects didn't.

"Well, the soul, of course," he mused, stealing another satisfying sip of the coffee. "I'm not the superstituous type, and I don't really put any stock into religion or other ethereal things that one can't touch or actually observe. But until we come up with a better word to describe the myriad labyrinth that is human emotion, desire, ponderance, idealism, and true intellect, I will continue to call it the soul. Do you think Alexander experiences actual joy when he sees Wren running up to him, or just a scripted manifestation replaying every day, over and over in a continual loop?"

His eyes flickered to meet with hers once more, a slight glimmer to them now. It wasn't often that Bahr allowed himself to delve so deeply into something like this. "I may have said at one point that were were all falling into the same boxes, but I've already come to change that opinion since I met you. You've subverted every one of my expectations so far. Every 'box' I checked for you in the beginning hasn't turned out to be what I expected." Save for one, but that wasn't what was important at the moment. "The difference between us and everything else in this world is our souls. There are real people connected to us just beyond the veil. And unlike NPCs like Alexander, we can improvise, adapt, change our ways and break out of our boxes - even create entirely new ones of our own, or remain just along the edge like a shipping label. You can't tell me that you look at Alexander and honestly believe he has true aspirations to one day own a chain of taverns, or watch his daughter bloom into a college graduate and take over the world, or feel the electricity of an engaging intellectual conversation."

Cool it. You're getting ahead of yourself.

"Maybe you're right in that it's 'easier' to be nice to NPCs. For you, maybe. But while I may already see everything else as code - the sky, trees, and monsters alike - I know I could never lose site of people as actual people. Those who do either do so willingly, or were predisposed to the idea in the first place."

[Lessa 1]

Lessa remained silent for a moment, letting his words circle as she savored another sip of cider. When she finally spoke, it was a simple "hmm" of both thought and appreciation. Bahr certainly made her think, which was a trait she found surprisingly endearing. It was even more endearing when she considered his statement about her, but dwelling on that seemed a bit self-centered. So the woman shifted in her chair to face him. "Sometimes I wonder how much of our human emotions can be programmed. If Alexander does feel joy when he sees Wren, should we discount that reaction because he's coded to do so? Or, better yet, what constitutes as emotions? The way he smiles when she hugs him, because he does do that. Or is it something deeper, like that soul you mentioned." Lessa momentarily paused her rambling to tilt her head thoughtfully. "You know, I'm pretty sure there's a Star Trek episode about this exact thing."

"Adapting and improvising are two things that a program can do though," she countered. "I mean, technology has come so far. But I think I get what you're saying." She turned to glance over her shoulder at the barkeep before looking back to Bahr. "I have no idea if Alexander has any aspirations. Or, if he does, if they're built in. Maybe they're shaped by his surroundings, and his programming adapts to the situation. In that case, we're sort of the same. I imagine 'fight bosses to escape with our lives' wasn't an aspiration for most of us before the game started." At that, the girl paused, then slowly shook her head. "I don't know about that, I guess I'm just thinking out loud at this point."

"Does seeing everything as code get old for you, though?" she asked him suddenly. The question had ridden the tip of her tongue for a while, but she'd initially deemed it too personal to ask. Apparently, at some point, she'd changed her mind. "There are days when I want to remember that I'm in a game, so I remember that the main goal has to be escape. But that line of thinking can just get... exhausting, I guess. And sometimes it's nice to live in the moment. See a sunset as just a sunset."

[Bahr 0]

"Oh, don't misunderstand. This environment is extremely immersive. And you do have to make the best of it, as so many people have. It's not like you don't feel the bite of frost the moment you walk out that door. You can allow yourself to feel things like this and recognize that it's just sensory input. That's still not the same as differences between man and machine, so let's not shift the goalposts."

He went for another sip of his coffee, but found that there was none left. He hadn't even noticed he'd downed the entire thing while they had been chatting. How much time had passed so far? Five minutes? Ten? Twenty? It was difficult to say. He held his mug up in the air and Alexander caught a glance of it, shooting Bahr a nod. Knowing his life sauce was on its way, he put down the mug and continued.

"Circling back to what you said earlier, about human emotions being programmed. I believe that can be true - to a certain extent. The difference is that programming human emotions is a matter of cultivating a lifetime of experiences and stimuli that manifest as predispositions to emotional responses. In the matter of Alexander, the values were simply dropped in and then copied for exact replicas on other floors, no cultivation or individualism required. It would be like pouring water onto a pill that produces what resembles an apple instantaneously. It will look like an apple, feel like an apple, and its taste might even resemble an apple. But it's not the same as one you'd pick from an orchard, ripened to perfection with time and care."

Finally, the coffee had been delivered. Bahr mixed himself up another perfect cut with the creamer that remained, taking a sip as soon as the beverage was ready. He let out a content sigh before continuing. "As for what constitutes an emotion, I would classify it as the actual sensation of feeling it. The physiological response to hormones xyz surging through your veins. Alexander can emulate the reaction to these, but considering I managed to shut down his talk track with a two minute exercise, I doubt it's complex enough that he actually feels anything. On that same note, what is the extent of improvising and adapting for NPCs in Sword Art? He couldn't even come up with a response as simple as, 'Ahh, sorry, I just screwed up. Obviously we're on the fourth floor,' as a means of rationalizing it in a more fluent and natural manner."

[Lessa 1]

She pursed her lips. "On that matter of home grown apples vs. lab made apples," she began slowly, considering just how to phrase her thoughts. "If it looks, feels, and tastes like an apple, why does it matter if it's made on a tree or in a test tube? The end product is the same, really. And hell, if it were reached more efficiently, maybe the latter is better." Lessa sipped at her own cider, imagining it being pressed from a pill. Then she shrugged. "But that's not all that relevant, I guess."

As she considered the second part of his argument, she couldn't help but laugh. "So you tripped him up, and he was unable to formulate a comeback. I know quite a few people who experience the same thing, at any given point in a conversation. And if being able to recognize and fix a mistake is what makes a person human, quite a few of the people I knew in college were more NPC-like than anyone realized."

Her expression softened, and she offered her companion a nod of understanding. "I do see what you're getting at, though. Maybe it's just hard-wired into me. If it looks like, talks like, acts like a human, it's just easiest to treat it as such. I don't see any harm." Lessa's blue eyes flashed devilishly as she added, "You just look like an ass to those of us watching you boss the NPC around. I bet you're one of those guys that leave their shopping carts in the parking lot, too."

[Bahr 0]

A part of him really wanted to start prattling on about how test-tube organisms generally yielded lower nutritional values, degraded faster, etc. But that was getting into a petty nitty-gritty that ultimately wouldn't get the conversation anywhere. There was no need for that.

Instead, he just shrugged and relented with, "I guess we can just agree to disagree. I see where you're coming from, too, but I similarly don't see the any harm in being crude around them, either. It's not like they mind. No real feelings were hurt." He looked down at his coffee, which was once again almost depleted, swirling it around within the mug. After inspecting it for a moment, he downed the remainder, relishing in the last of its taste as he exhausted what was left. "Can't believe you'd suggest I leave shopping carts in the parking lot, though. That's just criminal, even if not in the literal sense," he sighed, casting her a wry grin.

"This was nice, but I believe I still owe you food. I had totally forgotten."

[Lessa 1]

So the man could disagree, and bring a discussion to a close with some grace. That simple fact spoke volumes, and she had to admit, reflected well on him. Even if his treatment of NPCs made he a little itchy, at least she now understood why. It wasn't as if he was on a power-trip, and drew some sick sense of importance from it. Lessa had no doubt there were others in Aincrad who did just that.

"To be fair," she commented slyly, swirling the last of her cider in her cup, "you never actually denied my shopping-cart claim. As such, I'm going to go on believing that you're guilty of it. Bet you even leave them right in the middle of parking spots. Monster."

At his mention of dinner, she nodded eagerly. "That sounds good," she told him. "You did promise me food, and all I got was some philosophical debate." While she paused to roll her eyes, and feign frustration at how the night had gone, a light crimson rode high on her cheeks. In truth, Lessa had found the discussion as refreshing as the fourth floor's frigid chill. How long had it been since she'd passed so much time simply talking? And hey, as an added bonus, Bahr even talked back. Riker, her usual partner, did not.

"You asked me how long I've been coming here," she suddenly remembered. "Honestly, ages. I started coming here after my guild disbanded, and even crashed upstairs most nights. Only moved out a few weeks ago, when I finally bought my new house."

[Bahr 0]

"If you keep slandering me with these shopping cart lies, I won't see much reason to follow through on the promise of food," he chortled, flagging down Alexander who sent a nod their way once more. As they waited, he continued with the chatter. "Ah, a house of your own. I recently made a similar investment. Went with the tenth floor, before I knew about that godawful Banshee quest. I have to slay it at least once a month. Where did you end up settling down?"

Very quickly, Alexander had made his way over to the group, little notepad and pen ready for their order. "Ready to order, guys?" he inquired with a warm smile that had 'ready to please and serve' written all over it. Have Bahr been a dirtier man, he'd have started making jokes already. Instead, to humor Lessa, he decided to put a polite spin on it this time. 

"Thanks, Alexander. I know it sounds really basic, but I'd just like the thickest, juiciest burger you've got. A non-seasoned steak for the pup, whatever assortment of nuts and seeds you have for the rodent-pig, and whatever Lessa here decides to order." After she had issued her order to the man, he took a slight bow before turning and heading back to the bar. "Thanks again!" he mused before turning back to Lessa, goofy grin sprawled across his cheeks. "I guess being nice isn't so bad. You may be onto something."

[Lessa 1]

It took quite a bit of effort to keep her pleasure hidden, and by the time Bahr had finished ordering, Lessa had simply given up. The smile that lit her face was as warm and inviting as the inn itself. "You know," she told Alexander, "I'll take the same. The burger, I mean. Not the assorted nuts and seeds." Alexander nodded, and had almost turned to go before Lessa held up a hand. "And," she added quickly, "are you baking what I think you're baking?"

The NPC's brown eyes flashed mischievously. If he's not real, Lessa found herself thinking, there's a programmer somewhere who deserves a raise. "Chocolate chip cookies. You'll be wanting one?"

"I'll be wanting a dozen," came her quick, easy response. "But I guess a couple would be a good start. Whenever they're ready, please." She beamed at Alexander's back as the server returned to the kitchen. "Nope," she told Bahr, finally turning back to him. "Not so bad at all, especially when you get cookies out of it." She paused for a beat, then added, "I'd say something like 'I hope you like cookies,' but it doesn't really matter to me. I'll eat them both if so forced."

Settling back into the chair, the tank draped one arm lazily over the back cushion. "Clearing a banshee sounds exciting," she commented. "I used to be so into that paranormal stuff before Sword Art. I'm sure it's different in-game, of course, but what was it like?" To his other question, she answered, "I'm set up on floor twenty two. It's quiet, and pretty empty." The faintest tinges of embarrassment colored her voice as she added, "Both things I've come to value lately."

[Bahr 0]

Bahr, of course, wore a smile that mirrored Lessa's. Philosophical debate was fun, but banter was better. It appeared that she thought so too. It also seemed that she had quite the appetite - it was a good thing he had gone looting recently.

"I'd say something like 'I hope you like cookies,' but it doesn't really matter to me. I'll eat them both if so forced."

"Never underestimate my love of cookies. I would give up Swine Bajesus for a dozen." The tiny boar, who had been sleeping, reared its head ans sleepily stared daggers at Bahr. "Just kidding, buddy, relax." It reluctantly laid its head back down and immediately passed out again.

He listened as she explained her interest in the paranormal,  and then her desire to stay in a place that was quiet and isolated. So Bahr had been right after all. "I mean, no judgement here. That's actually why I picked out the tenth floor. I was expecting somewhere isolated, far from prying eyes, little noise. And most of the time, it's like that. But every now and then, I hear the wail," he groused, edges of his lips curling into a bit of a smile as he eyed Lessa. Was she easily spooked, he wondered? "When I hear it, I need to grab my gear and head out - usually in the dead of night - toward the dilapidated abandoned prison that the floor houses. Once there, I need to find the Banshee. Thing is, she's never in the same place twice. You never know where she's going to be. Various ghastly apparitions wander the vacant halls of the facility, and ghoulish calls and moans permeate the whole structure to accompany the occasional shriek from the banshee. You'll almost always see something scratching at the edges of your peripheries, but when you shift your eyes to look, it will be gone. You'll continue to walk along, going deeper and deeper, the hair standing up on the back of your next, heart fluttering at the slightest sound before..."

"BAM!" He smacked both of his hands against the arms of the armchair for dramatic effect.

"She finds you."

"Then, you know, you kill it," he said with a shrug and a grin, cutting the tension. "You know the drill."

It was around this time that Alexander came around with the food. On the tray sat two plates, each with a massive burger. On a third, smaller plate rested a pair of cookies, and the fourth and largest plate contained the steak and nuts. The larger plate was placed on the ground before the familiars who, after being jolted awake by the scent, immediately began greedily digging in. With a smile, Bahr picked up one of the burgers and took a huge, unflattering bite. Spots of grease and bits of meat clung to his cheek, which he wiped away with a napkin as he chewed. He may not have been the most graceful eater, but at least he had the good sense to chew with his mouth closed and wait until he swallowed to speak. "Wow, that's incredible. You've gotta try it!"

A few moments passed in silence as she tried hers. The timing hadn't exactly felt right the entire afternoon, but he was going to need to get out in the open eventually. No time like the present to ruing a perfectly good conversation, right?

"Listen, about earlier..." he grumbled, averting his eyes and scratching his chin. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings when I said I wouldn't invite you on any more quests like that. I just didn't want to put you in danger again, and it seemed like you didn't want that either. I think that, somewhere along the line, I failed to communicate that properly. That's my bad. But I never planned to just drop you as a friends completely - I'm not that kind of guy."

[Lessa 1]

The woman found herself leaning in closer as Bahr told his tale. While she understood that he was pumping the story full of extra pizzazz, she had absolutely no problem with the extra dramatization. In fact, she appreciated it. And as he brought his narrative to thrilling conclusion, she couldn't help but flinch in her chair. Still, her eyes were wide and dancing with good-natured humor by the time she spoke. "Sounds like a heck of an adventure. Maybe I'll tag along next time."

"Come to think of it," she continued, "I wonder if there's more to all that than meets the eye. I mean, do the other apparitions try to attack you, or do they just float around? They could possibly be there for some other purpose. Have you tried engaging them? Not in combat, but just... talking to them?" She paused to down the rest of her cider, then barreled on, mounting excitement lifting her tone. "Jomei and I landed ourselves in a haunted house once, while following the Church's stained glass window in Taft. Not sure what happened, since we couldn't find the place again. Might have been a holiday event." Catching herself rambling, the blonde shook her head, then proceeded more slowly. "We were running from a ghost who ended up being a tortured soul trapped in the house, and she actually saved us. She was the good guy. It was everything else that was trying to kill us."

She might have gone on, had Alexander not returned with the food. If her eyes had lit during Bahr's story, they positively glowed as she picked up the burger. I love food, she thought to herself as she gathered up the burger. She certainly did not need Bahr's invitation to dig in, but once she had, she nodded her agreement. "So good, right? Sometimes a good burger hits the spot better than some fancy gourmet meal." 

Lessa had just filled her mouth with delicious, juicy burger when her companion commented on the evening's earlier outburst. One hand moved to her lips, shielding them as the other set the burger back on the plate. At least she had a few seconds to think of a response while she chewed. "No, I know," she answered him. Well, now I do. "And I'm sorry I bit your head off. I shouldn't have." She paused to drag her the back of her hand across her mouth, a gesture that was far from ladylike, but helped her collect herself a bit. "Honestly, I guess I don't really know what I want. I've been avoiding combat for so long that now it's just the norm. And today sucked, don't get me wrong. But..." And now, having backed herself into a corner, it had to be said. "But it was nice having someone else to pass the time with, you know? I've spent the past year training lower level players. It was rewarding for a while, but they always left at the end of the day. No one stuck. I, uh, I'd really like something that sticks."

[Bahr 0]

Bahr grinned when he saw how into the story she had gotten, and the potential implications of the various pieces of the quest. She began to tell her own tales of mystique and ghoulish encounters, the pitch of her voice becoming more frenzied and excited the more she spoke. Something had really gotten into her. A fan of the paranormal, perhaps? She seemed eager to continue, but once Alexander came with the food, she didn't hesitate to dig in. She hastily snatched the burger and sank her teeth into it, euphoria evident in her eyes as she contemplated the taste and texture rolling over her tongue. After Bahr had issued his apology, she crudely wiped away the grease and debris with the back of her hand. He wasn't sure why he was surprised. Nothing about Lessa so far had screamed "ladylike" to him, but he still strangely expected her to be less zealous with her food. Full of surprises, just the way Bahr liked it.

"No, I know. And I'm sorry I bit your head off. I shouldn't have."

Even more surprises.

"Honestly, I guess I don't really know what I want."

Typical.

"I've been avoiding combat for so long that now it's just the norm. And today sucked, don't get me wrong. But... it was nice having someone else to pass the time with, you know? I've spent the past year training lower level players. It was rewarding for a while, but they always left at the end of the day. No one stuck. I, uh, I'd really like something that sticks."

How strange it was to think that Bahr had been one of those "low level players" only two months prior, having almost never stepped foot outside the Town of Beginnings. Now he was running around like a madman killing every monster in his path like it was favorite pastime. Had he met Lessa sooner, it undoubtedly would have been her saving him, not the other way around. Hell, wasn't she still a higher level than he was? He eyes flickered to the corner of his HUD, but he didn't see any information. They had never officially formed a party.

"Luckily for you," he began, pushing all of the unnecessary details from his mind, "I have a habit of 'sticking' to people I like. A lot like the crumbs of beef clinging to your cheek that you missed." He pointed to her cheek and grinned, hoping the metaphor would 'stick,' as it were. He had considered leaning over and wiping the remainder from her cheek, but that would just be far too corny, wouldn't it? Best just to observe her clean it up herself from afar instead. It served the metaphor better anyways. "I'm staying there until you wipe me away."

A pause.

"So why were you?" he asked pointedly, expression becoming a tad more neutral than the cheesy smirk he'd been wearing for the past several minutes. "Avoiding combat, I mean. And the quiet, secluded house. Why have you been sheltering yourself for so long?" Probably at least slightly rude. Usually, when people got like this, there was a reason for it. It wasn't really Bahr's place to butt into something like that. Still, he had done the same before. Secluded, downtrodden, alone. Had he already told her that? He couldn't remember.

Yes, actually, he had. Just how loose-lipped was he around her?

[Lessa 1]

"Huh?" came her confused first response. He was pointing at her face, for whatever reason, and it took a few seconds for his meaning to sink in. "Oh." Had he not made her painfully aware of her messy eating, she might have just flicked the crumbs away with a swipe of her fingers. But the way he watched her, and that stupid smile on his stupid face, caused her own cheeks to burn with embarrassment. The girl snagged a napkin from beside her plate, scrubbed it over her face, then let it drop back into her lap. Only once she'd cleaned herself up did the significance of his words really reach her. It did nothing to lessen the blush currently sprouting from her freckled nose.

"Well, I'm not intending to wipe you away," she told him finally, not taking much pleasure in how poorly she was responding. "At least, not until you give me a really good reason. I've enjoyed spending time with you." That sly smile broke through, and though it wobbled a bit, she wore it proudly. "Besides, you buy me dinner. That has to be worth something."

His next line of questions caught Lessa off-guard, though admittedly not as much as pointing out the food on her face. She drew a deep breath through her nose, letting the sweet smell of beef and chocolate chips wash over her. Then she busied herself easing a pickle from the side of her burger and popping it into her mouth. Carefully, though, so not to get anything else on her face. "A lot of reasons," she answered, giving a small shrug as if it weren't all that important. Of course, it was monumental, but laying that out at Bahr's feet didn't seem appropriate. "There were a lot of politics on the Frontlines, for one thing. Then I guess I got a bit tired of the grind. It felt important to find something else worth waking up every day for."

Despite the fact her burger sat only half-eaten, Lessa reached over and broke one of the cookies in two. It looked like she might eat it -  there were no rules forbidding her from having her dessert first. But she pulled her hand away, settled back in her chair, and leveled her gaze on Bahr's. "And I lost someone, which took a long time to get over." No, that wasn't right. "Actually, I still haven't managed it yet."

Edited September 5, 2019 by Lessa

[Bahr 0]

A painful sting settled in Bahr's chest as he digested that last nugget of information she had decided to share with him. The loss of a friend. No, it was obviously something more than that. 

“I don’t think you’re heartless, but you strike me as the type who prefers to remain more withdrawn. You probably pride yourself on being a tough read. Whatever your motivation is, you’re intense about it, given how strong your grief was. I bet you’re a force in combat.”

"I guess you're right - about describing half of Aincrad, that is. Your analysis does the same thing, painting me into a picture alongside thousands of others roaming this floating monument as we speak. ... Along with whoever you just thought of, I'd wager."

“But hey - it's sweet that you think I'm attractive."

"Hah! Classic misdirection. You're good."

And so the pieces began to click together. As with most puzzles, the average person would start with the edge pieces so they could create a frame of sorts, working their way toward the middle from there. But as anyone who has ever worked on a complex puzzle knows, sometimes you find pieces that belong at the heart of the picture and start putting them together almost on accident. You may not have even finished the frame. Yet, bizarrely, it really fills you with the desire to see the puzzle through to the end. 

"I was pretty fortunate, in the beginning. I made a lot of friends, had a good time training, and jumped right onto the Frontlines. I guess I felt a little untouchable, back then. Didn't worry too much about the risks. I naively thought I'd be home right away, and so I let myself get distracted by dumb things like boys and petty drama. It wasn't until people started dying that reality hit me."

"I'm not sure I ever bounced back after that first death. I never took a particular liking to combat. I know a lot of people who feel the way you do, that Sword Art has given them purpose. But.. I really, really hate this place."

But that wasn't totally true, was it? Would she even have known this person, had she not logged into SAO in the first place? Would it have been better for her to never have known them at all? Bahr found that difficult to believe. The memories she had, she obviously cherished. She was too busy caught in the trap of grief to see the forest for the trees.

It gave Bahr a bit of perspective on his own situation. Trapped in grief for years, lamenting over the hole in his life where his friends used to be. It still hurt. Deep down, the three of them had all silently shared the knowledge that eventually their friendship would end - if they had it their way, as a 'death do us part' situation. It seemed they had gotten their wish. But had Bahr been going at it the wrong way? Allowing himself to be paralyzed by it, ruminating over the loss rather than cherishing the memories he had?

Were he and Lessa really any different?

Of course, he had been contemplating all of this while absently chowing down on his burger, undoubtedly sporting the most bizarrely focused expression anyone had ever worn while eating virtual bovine. Upon realizing how silly he must have looked, and seeing that there was now only a sliver of the burger left, he did his best to return to the most natural expression he could manage and devour the remaining morsel, savoring every molecule of its unhealthy goodness. He had managed to consume nearly the entire thing without even noticing, and he'd be damned if the first bite was the only one he had truly appreciated.

"You lied to me, you know," he sighed after the remainder of the burger had slid down his throat, picking up a napkin and wiping the grease from his face. "You said you hated Aincrad. But how can that be true if you found your love here?" Piercing. Bahr was rarely afforded mental acuity or perception of this clarity. Perhaps their earlier debate had warmed him up. "I mean, you had to have loved them, right? This person you've referred to twice in our conversations now." For some strange reason, he was really careful not to mention gender. He had a suspicion that it was a man she was referring to, but one could never know for sure. He grabbed his cookie and settled back into his seat, taking a nibble before continuing. "Some people never even find something like that in the real world. It was Sword Art Online that brought the two of you together. And yet, you hate it? That's puzzling to me."

"You actually just forced me to realize that I've been doing the same thing. I've been too stuck on the deaths of my friends to cherish the memories we created together. Yes, if it weren't for Sword Art, they wouldn't be gone. But then again, I could have gone my entire life without finding purpose. You could have gone your entire life without finding love. And we wouldn't be sitting here in this quaint tavern, philosophically debating the meaning of life over coffee and apple cider and burgers and cookies. Can you say, with complete certainty, that it would have been better to forgo all of this, sitting idly on the shore of life and watch the tide pass you by?"

He took a large bite of his cookie and chewed it thoughtfully as he waited for her response. It could have pissed her off. Hell, it might have even ruined the whole evening. But was it the push she needed? Bahr liked to think so. At any rate, he found himself equally dreading her response as he did looking forward to it. There were several ways this could play out, and it all depended upon how she digested the information he had just laid out for her.

[Lessa 1]

The emotion that struck her at Bahr's words was... well, Lessa herself wasn't sure. It came so fast, and so unexpectedly, like a sudden slap to the face. His comments definitely carried the same sting as one, too. Why was he talking about something, someone, he didn't know, as if he were some sort of expert on the matter? She could let herself stoke the flames of anger, because that was far easier than facing the hurt and the loss all over again. The questions that had never really found answers, which she had been content to lock away somewhere, rather than examining every single day.

And Bahr had the audacity to talk about love.

"We weren't dating," she corrected, her mouth moving before her brain could comprehend the action. Bahr had never said they were, so why did she insist on making that distinction? Why was it important? Suddenly massively uncomfortable, Lessa crossed her arms across her chest and leaned further back in her chair. But did she love Alkor? The concept weighed heavy like a stone in her gut, a vice tightening around her heart until she wasn't entirely sure she could breathe. It was easier, safer, just to let it go altogether. "But that doesn't really matter anymore," she stated finally. She'd meant to say he doesn't matter, but somehow, she couldn't get the word out. Hopefully, her dismissal would be enough to close the door on the issue.

When she spoke again, some of the light had gone from her eyes. "I'm not sure why everyone acts like the outside world had nothing to offer. If I hadn't put on the nerve gear, I still would have been happy. I had family, friends, a career that I put my heart and soul into. I could have found love, too - I'm sure I would have. And I could have had cider and cookies in a tavern there, without wondering if a monster is going to kill me the next time I leave town."

Edited September 15, 2019 by Lessa

[Bahr 0]

Oops. Definitely the wrong move.

Her demeanor pulled a complete 180 the second he had said that. Way to kill the vibe, jackass, was all he could really think to himself as he watched the light drain out of her eyes and a tinge of confusion taint her expression. He had thought that perhaps this would have shed a new light on her situation and given her a different perspective of things. But it was clear she wasn't ready for that. Not yet, anyways. And definitely not from him.

Ultimately, Bahr knew nothing. It had been foolish to pretend that he had.

Not really knowing what to do in a situation like this, and understanding he had upset her, he leaned to the side in his seat, more toward Lessa, and extended a hand to rub her back a bit in a consoling manner. "Sorry. Wasn't my place to say something like that. I should have just kept my mouth shut," he offered, hopefully giving her an outlet to chew him out if she felt the need to. "The thing is, I'm not saying that the real world has nothing to offer. Of course it has things to offer. We all had completely different lives before this." He withdrew his hand in an effort not to overstay his welcome. "I was just hoping I could help you see that this world has something to offer, as well. That's all."

As the expected awkward silence infected the atmosphere, Bahr busied one of his hands by absently pulling at a stray thread that jutted out from one of the seams of the chair cushion, idly looking down and inspecting it as he twiddled the strand of fabric between his digits. How peculiar that the developers had put so much care and attention into something so minuscule. It was a nice touch.

"I mean, we've got to make the best of it, right?" he inquired with a somewhat pleading undertone, quoting something she had once told him. She had pulled him from this very same brink before - it seemed that now it was his turn to remind her that life here could be something to appreciate, if only they allowed it. His fingers released the thread they had been toying with and instead gesture toward the cookie half she still held in her hand. "At least we've got cookies."

[Lessa 1]

Lessa tensed as Bahr laid his hand on her back. The sensation wasn't altogether unpleasant, more like the stroke of a feather than the scurry of insects across her skin. But the gesture was surprising enough, and foreign enough, to have alarm bells chiming in her head. It was so meaningless, so common - had she not tried to console many others using the same technique? Yet it took every ounce of willpower not to pull away, and she nearly did so, just before Bahr removed his hand himself.

"Right," she replied simply, the single word buying her time to get her thoughts in order. Considering how edgy his touch had made her, she was oddly disappointed once she was without it. "I suppose it has things to offer." The woman blew out an upward breath, sending her ragged bangs flying. "Meeting people from all over the world has been interesting. Most people aren't from little farm towns like mine." 

She fell silent, mentally weighing the pros and cons of going any further. The night had already taken a strange turn with Bahr's comment regarding Alkor - would she not be better off cutting her losses and walking away? Was this the place to vent her frustrations, especially considering they may apply to her companion himself? Oh what the hell. He'd brought it up, after all.

"There are some people who really love it here," she began. "People who prefer Aincrad to the real world. They'd stay here forever, if they had their way. They like the thrill of killing things, and the simplicity of the system, I guess. Some of my friends even feel that way. They don't want to leave. I've never been able to understand that."

[Bahr 0]

Bahr suddenly felt very guilty about his own propensity toward violence within the realm of Aincrad. There was something about this place that made the whole endeavor feel very guilt-free until you were called out on it. Probably because it was just a "game."

He settled back into his seat, finishing off his cookie and taking a deep breath. "Yeah, I never really got that, either. There's a lot that Aincrad has to offer, but I think I would still rather be on the outside. Nothing like getting a cup of coffee without having to worry about whether a troll is going to come along and ruin your whole week." Bits of cookie crumbs clung to his face, which probably made it difficult to take anything he was saying seriously. He didn't seem to notice. "That being said, I'm also guilty of enjoying combat a little too much. Something about this place just enables it in me. In real life, I'd never really been the violent type."

"I actually remember this one time, a few years back, when Dan- err, Zayne invited me to this muay thai place he trained at," he recounted, eyes narrowing a bit as he continued. "Spent a few days fighting a punching bag, and before I knew it, they had thrown me in the ring for a sparring match." Then there was a grimace. "It wasn't the first time I had taken a fist to the face, but it was definitely the most jarring. Looking back, I don't even remember if I managed to land a single hit on the guy. I just threw my arms up to shield my face from the blows until it was over." He sighed gruffly, rosy hues flooding his cheeks as the embarrassment of the memory washed over him. "I kept training - for Zayne's sake. Managed to score a few wins eventually. But I didn't really like it at all. Hell, I remember at one point a few months after launch, the morbid relief that I would no longer need to attend the classes invasively inserted itself into my thoughts. I knew it was wrong to think that way, but a part of me couldn't help it."

There was the sudden realization that he had been rambling for no particular reason again. She probably didn't care about his muay thai exploits.

What do you miss most about the real world?

He wanted to ask the question, but the timing wasn't right. He was trying to bring the mood up, not fall through the floor of the hole he had dug himself.

"What's your guilty pleasure in Aincrad? Or your favorite thing to do?"

[Lessa 1]

Listening to Bahr reminisce was strangely comforting. Very few players chose to discuss their lives off-line, and the fact that he did so worked to put her at ease. That, combined with the crackling fire and pair of sleeping familiars, smoothed her frayed nerves. While she was far from entirely relaxed - was such thing possible after the day she'd had? - Lessa felt up to eating her previously neglected cookie.

"I never took any sort of martial arts class," she told him. "I spent a lot of time fighting with my brothers though. As the youngest, and only girl, I had to toughen up or they'd walk all over me." The thought, however silly, brought a smile back to her lips; some of that light crept back into her deep-set blue eyes. "My parents didn't raise a push-over."

At his final question, Lessa allowed herself a moment to consider. Had she really done anything noteworthy in the past months? She'd read some good books, spoke with some interesting NPCs, and browsed some unique shops. But was that intriguing enough to even mention? Then it hit her.

"I enjoy exploring," came her answer. "I always wanted to travel in the real-world. Go to Europe, see some castles, or some battlefields. Asia has so many neat religious sites I could visit. And even just around the US, there's so much to see. But my parents really didn't have the money for all that, so we didn't leave the state much." The last bit was delivered with no bitterness or sorrow - it was just a fact she'd accepted her entire life. "In Aincrad, I can go from floor to floor in seconds. There's a lot to do and see. Ruins, mountains, stunning buildings, and massive lakes. It's kind of cool." Her voice trailed, and she ate the other half of her cookie before concluding with, "What about you?"

[Bahr 0]

"Exploring, huh? A noble pursuit. I guess that would be one of the things I enjoy about this place, too. You can explore a myriad of different environments with relatively low risk. It's pretty cool."

He had to put some thought into what he found most enjoyable about Aincrad, though. In reality, he hadn't really allowed himself to enjoy much of anything. It was probably a part of the reason he found himself so morbidly entertained by the things that typically weren't enjoyable, such as fierce combat or enduring the awful heat of the desert or the putrid stench of standing water in a swamp. When he thought back on it, there was only one thing he had truly enjoyed since he started off in the catastrophe that was Aincrad.

"The people, I'd have to say," he suddenly uttered, a bit ungracefully. The answer came as a surprise, even to himself. "We're all in this together. Well, most of us, anyways. I don't think I ever met people as generous or kind as the people wandering around this floating hell." A strange realization. Bahr had been so isolated the past few years that he had hardly spent any time with anyone. He had probably spent more time with Swine Bajesus than everyone else he had come across combined, and he'd only had the pig for a few months. "Probably sounds cheesy, I know. But there's something to be said about finding someone who's willing to pick you up in the middle of a public freak out and almost die alongside you later in the same week, then go out for a cup of coffee together and discuss the philosophy of life itself. It's just not the sort of thing that would ever happen in real life."

It was around this time that scarlet rays of sunlight began to peek through the fixtures of the windows, illuminating the area in which they sat with a tangerine glow. That, unfortunately, was Bahr's cue to start heading home. It wasn't that he wasn't enjoying their chat, just that he would be useless the following day if he didn't get to bed at a decent hour. With a sigh, he stood and took a long stretch, unflattering groans escaping his lips. "This has been fun, but I've gotta get going. It's not a long way to the tenth floor, but it's a long way to my house from the Teleportation Plaza. Come on, Bajesus." 

The small pig reluctantly stirred from its slumber, staring daggers toward Bahr before relenting and crawling over to its owner. A part of Bahr wanted to invite Lessa back to his place, but that was the sort of thing that would be far too easy to misinterpret at this time of day. "I'll be seeing you again, soon," he said as he regarded Lessa once more. "Banshee should be spawning in the next day or two. I'll give you a ring. For now, though, I've gotta split."

After they had said their goodbyes to one another, Bahr took a deep breath and braced himself for the cold before venturing out into the ivory expanse. Even while the cold bite at his exposed skin and permeated his thin armor, he couldn't shake the smile that had crawled across his face. It clung to his visage as he made his way to the teleport gate, through the tenth floor toward his house, and persisted even when he crawled into bed. 

Yup. The people are definitely my favorite thing about Aincrad.

[Lessa 1]

No, it really wasn't the sort of thing that would happen in real life. That much, she had to agree with him. And while Lessa was confident that the real world had so much to offer her, perhaps she could at least appreciate the situation she found herself in. Near death experiences were far from ideal, yet the afternoon had progressed in an oddly pleasant and unexpected way. The way he'd described the day's adventure warmed her, and she ducked her head to hide the small smile. Perhaps it wasn't all bad.

A twinge of disappointment came as he announced his departure, but she could hardly blame him - evening was painting the sky gold, and Aincrad was no place to wander at night. "Yeah, it's been really nice," she confirmed, she and Bahr standing in unison. The fabric of her new cape whispered as turned toward the pair of familiars. Something oddly like sorrow swirled in Riker's amber eyes as he watched his new friend walk away. Yeah, Lessa thought, I feel ya, buddy.

"Sure, shoot me a message when Banshee's back." The blonde shoved her blonde braids back and offered Bahr a parting smile. "Take care. Thanks for everything."

Minutes after the boy and his pig had taken their leave, Lessa remained standing, staring into the flames that danced in the hearth. It was evident that her mind was miles away by the way she jumped at the hand on her arm.

"Sorry to startle you," came Alexander's voice. "But I thought you might want this."

Lessa blinked owlishly, bringing the present back into focus. "Huh?" As she turned, the dreamy expression cleared, replaced by pure, childish joy. The NPC offered a fresh plate of chocolate chip cookies, still warm from the oven. She breathed deeply, and exhaled on a massive sigh. "You know me so well."

She plopped back down into the chair, and balanced the porcelain plate on her knee. Being alone was nice, as she could eat as many cookies as she wanted without being judged. The woman gave a hum of contentment as she took another bite. But maybe, if she was going to spend her time with someone, Bahr wasn't such a bad choice.