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[PP-F3] In our time of grieving - Itzal & Zandra


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It had been several months since he discovered the grim truth. His wife, Kasier. Jenna Arno. Had died. He was worried because he couldn't find her contact info, and she wasn't returning his messages. Then one day when he was giving his respects to the fallen... Her name... He never did find out why their shared inventory didn't just give him the items. Maybe it was a glitch. All he knew was that his beloved wife was deceased. It was hard for him to process. The first month he cut all ties to anyone and spent some time alone. Near the end of that month he figured he might as well try and be productive, so he went on a walk every morning. One day Velnia was killed, only furthering Itzal's grief. And now... Months later...

"ARGH!"  The sound of steel piercing through the man's digital shoulder blade was the focus of everyone's attention as the seven player killers turned to look at the person who chose to ambush them. Itzal twisted the blade, activating his weapon's paralytic effect before pulling the blade out and turning the injured player into a shield against the murderer's friends. They swung their rapiers, their swords, their axes and hammers, their spears. All to no avail as he blocked them, pushing them onto their feet by tossing his victim. Itzal's movement was lightning quick, his attacks precise, his movement so ingrained in years upon years of hardening his combat skills to the point where it was more than muscle memory. It was who he was. To Itzal this wasn't a fight. It was a dance. A dance where only one was left standing.

Even for those who could see through the shadows of his hood, his expression was emotionless. His eyes dead. This was his job. This was how he kept others safe. Nothing else mattered.

Or rather.

He had nothing else that mattered anymore...

@Zandra

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  • 3 weeks later...

Zandra stretched her arms high in the air as she walked out of her estate. With a smile she looked up on the sky when she saw Zita, her kingseagle familiar dart thru the entrance and started circling high above her. Zandra always felt safer when she had Zita around. She knew that Zita, with her razorsharp eagle eyes, would be able to spot any danger way before the danger even knew Zandra was approaching. She also felt a bit hyped today, because she was finally going to finish the dragon quest chain she started so long time ago. But what was different from last time, now she didnt had her awesome axe Teseleths fury with her. That axe had passed down to a dps player. But anyway, down to floor three to finish this quest chain she started so long time ago.

Zandra hadnt walked very far when she herd a sound. A very familiar sound. It was the sound of a ongoing battle. To judge from what she herd, it was several participants. Zandra immediatly equipped her axe and started running, speeding up with her charge skill. When she saw the battle scene she immediatly stopped and quickly sidestepped behind a tree. Zita had landed on her shoulder in silence. As Zandra was hiding she watched the fight. It wasnt a fair fight. One player against seven. The seven players didnt had a chance. She knew that because the only one with a green cursor was Itzal. But what was his intention? Was he going to slaugther over half a dozen players? Zandra kept quiet and watched, thou ready to dart out and help him if something unexpected happened.

Edited by Zandra
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Itzal struck at one of them before leaping back to avoid his counter attack. When he did so he spun around on his heel and parried another pker's attack before bending backward to avoid a slash attack. Now moving backward he rolled, kicking the assailant on the stomach as he got up on his feet again, spinning his blade left and right to parry and block two more incoming attacks. One of the pkers thrust at him with their spear and he step-sided the attack, grabbed the man's wrist and weapon and thrust him and the weapon into one of his comrades. One of his opponents landed a strike on his arm, but instead of pulling away he threw his arm backward, into the blade as he elbowed the pker, grabbed his neck and threw him to the floor where he stomped on his face. Over time the pkers were losing health, but even in this cold 'massacre', he was keeping his eyes on their remaining hp. All the same, the fact remained that these player killers were becoming increasingly terrified of the dark, hooded figure who was treating them all like rag dolls.

"W-w-wait! J-just stop! We'll stop! We won't attack them anymore, we won't-" The player never finished his sentence as Itzal quickly thrust his sword into the player's open mouth, cutting his tongue off and preventing him from speaking further. While the pain that would normally come from this was not there, the man still suffered psychological influence from the sudden attack and loss of speech. Furthermore, Itzal thrust the blade even further through the man's neck and into the hand of one of his pals, furthering the damage there. Now there was at least one player in the red.

With that, Itzal used his free hand to grab a corridor crystal strapped to his belt and threw it behind him. He then grabbed the player he silenced, slid the sword out, and threw him into the corridor portal. With that he turned his gaze to the other pkers.

@Zandra

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  • 3 weeks later...

Zandra watched as the young man kept fighting the player killers. He had no problem keeping the fight onesided. Zandra almost felt sad of the player killers, almost. Thou when someone was begging him to stop but as reply Itzal cut of his tongue, she felt like something was wrong. Something was definitely not right. Zandra equipped her armor Inferno with her big shoulderguards that was pulsating with a fiery glow, the black mouthguard that covered her mouth, and the two devilish horns on top together making a feel of a dragon. The claw like glows just added to that feeling. The players was to busy with the fight so they didn’t saw the approaching woman. When she was a dozen meters away she stopped. She planted the bottom of her axe in the ground and stared at the scene with her only visible eye. She stood there with straight back. ‘’STOP IT!’’ she shouted with a loud and clear voice, increased in strength by her howl skill. Two of the player killers that had realized Itzal was too hard of a challenge, decided to go for the easier prey, a girl. Zandra just removed the mouthguard and showed them a sinister smile. ‘’Hehe, wrong move.’’ She said to them as she took up a horn, inhaled, moved it to her lips and exhaled in the unique item. The sound was eardeffing and echoed across the area. Without any warning, the red players stopped in their movements as they fell to the ground from the paralyzing effect of the horn. The only players standing was Zandra and Itzal. She just stood there, staring at him as she started to move slowly towards him.

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Itzal didn't have much time to act when he heard a familiar voice call out to him to stop. He turned to see who it was and froze for a split second. Zandra.. She was the one player who knew his true identity...  Well, the one person who was still alive that is. Even still, the two didn't know each other very well. Ever since Kaiser passed he hadn't bothered contacting anyone. Only focusing on the one thing he had left: taking down murderers who would kill the innocent and weak without a second thought. Some of them even took advantage of them, abused them, or just used them for one means or another. So now that someone was here telling him to stop, someone who knew his identity. That made it a little bit complicated. Of course, he couldn't really approach this newfound issue until he took care of the present task at hand. He watched the fools charge at Zandra, automatically hoping and praying that she would be a less dangerous, and more merciful, opponent. They were wrong of course, and they both lay there paralyzed on the ground. Itzal didn't hesitate, moving the second the paralysis symbol appeared by their health. He grabbed the two of them, and threw them into the portal. With the player killers now all in the prison, he shut off the portal and sheathed his blade. Normally Velnia would land on his shoulder after a battle... He turned to Zandra.

"Been a while."

@Zandra

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Zandra just crossed her arms and looked at the man. As she had used her amphibian war rally, the whole group of player killers had became paralyzed and Itzal had throwed them into a portal. Zandra had no idea where that portals exit was. Was it at the top of a cliff? Right infront of a boss mob? The central plaza in a settlement? Or anywhere else. She didn’t knew, but honestly she also didn’t cared. All she cared about now was Itzal and what he had been doing. And how he greeted her. ‘’Yeah that is true, it have been awhile.’’ She said with a plain voice, stating the fact Itzal just mentioned.

She thought for awhile how she would continue. She didn’t wanted to sound like a mother scolding her kid or something like that. ‘’I have actually been looking for you. Where have you been this awhile?’’ she asked with a wondering voice.

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Itzal opened up his menu and navigated to his inventory section. He went ahead and stored the corridor crystals, his extra daggers and a few other things he was no longer going to need now that the hunt for today was over. "Hunting player killers. That's pretty much it," he answered simply. With everything left in his inventory now, he turned to look at Zandra. His eyes dead and emotionless, his expression lacking any joy, fear, anger, anything. He carried himself like a warrior, ready for an incoming attack at all times, yet his shoulders were weighed down by something. "...So? What is it? You said you were looking for me so there's a reason." While he said this he started racking his brain for how she could have spotted him. She couldn't have used tracking, that's what he had the stealth mod for. Kept him hidden from everyone. So how on earth has she managed to locate him? Did she catch onto his pattern and wait for his next target? Or was this nothing but blind luck? He wasn't sure which one it was, but he wanted to find out. "Additionally, how did you locate me?"

@Zandra

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

Zandra first just stared at the man infront of her. She blinked a few times. She wasnt sure she had herd right. Did he really said that? She got so surprised so she didnt said anything for several seconds. Until she got back her ability to speak. ‘’Hunting player killers?’’ she started in a low tone. ‘’You have been hunting player killers!’’ she said a little louder. She moved her hand thru her hair, moving it out of her face where it immediatly fell down infront of one of her eyes. ‘’I have looked for you because we needed you in the latest florr labyrinth guardian search. You, our best scout, I would have wished you would follow with us. But since you didnt answered any mails or anything, me and Macradon had to go into that labyrinth alone.’’ she sighed, she knew she dont decide over other players actions and decisions, but Itzal, a veteran frontliner and a scout as well, she had been disapointed he didnt joined the search. She walked over to nearby rock, where she sat down as she stared into the space infront of her. ‘’Dont you worry, I didnt located you. I just happened to be in the area a bit away from here and herd combat sounds, was deciding to check it out.’’

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Itzal's face still showed no ounce of emotion, remaining unnaturally blank as she lectured him. He didn't try to interrupt either, nor did he attempt to defend himself. In all honesty, the labyrinths and the bosses were the last thing on his mind right now. In regards to the boss, his skills, equipment and overall assistance was replaceable, unlike Zandra, who was known for being a very powerful hitter. His skill when it came to the front lines was his paralyzing enhancement, bleed, and most of all his scouting ability. However paralyze and bleed don't stack, they just reset the timer. And they're very common, easily replaced if the raid got a new member, or felt it was needed. Furthermore, no one trusted Are, so he wouldn't be of much use in regards to teamwork. As for scouting, Macradon and Shield both showed incredible potential in that area. He wasn't needed really. And since he had no desire to participate in any of those events, he focused on the one thing he could do now. Additionally... "Zandra. How long do you think the body can last in a hospital bed receiving nutrients through wires? I spoke with a doctor or two trapped with us and it's not as long as you'd think." He held up his hand, showing the amount of years it's been with his fingers. "So shouldn't we all be dead by now? Since we're not, it's safe to assume that time in here is far from what it is out there. Meaning that we do have enough time to clear this game without rushing through it. While monsters are a threat, so long as precautions are taken the danger can be reduced greatly. The only real threat are the floor bosses, which shouldn't be rushed into blindly. Player killers however are a very real threat, and are unpredictable. Additionally they don't have set levels which can be prepared for in time. I'm choosing the biggest threat of the two and covering your backs while you continue the charge."

When she confirmed that she had not located him on purpose he nodded. "Good."

@Zandra

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In reply, Itzal talked about their real bodies. That cant survive for an eternity with just medical support. As well as that player killers was the real threat and except that only floor bosses was dangerous to the players. Zandra looked at the emotionless player infront of her. ‘’You know what Itzal, it feels like something is wrong here. Yes, you can prevent the dangers from mobs. But there is a difference between us and the lower tiered players. They don’t have the knowledge we have. They don’t have the economy to buff them up with food, potions and songs. Several of them don’t even know antidote salves, for example, even exist.’’ She took a pause before she continued. ‘’And yes, player killers are a threat. But so is time. Because every new day, it’s a new day where players risk to die from mobs. And a new day for players to give up and jump over the edge, a new day to join the player killers. Myself, Im fighting against time. Which is just as big threat as the player killers.’’

She stared at him with serious but not angry eyes. ‘’But that is not all is it? You not doing this only because it is the biggest threat do you?’’ she finished off, still serious in her tone.

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Itzal was about to dismiss her argument by stating that he could easily be replaced, and all they had to do was find more players to recruit and train. There were thousands of players, it wasn't like they had a lack of options or anything. However, he never got the chance to say that argument aloud. When she ventured that there was more to him fighting these player killers that he let on, his right hand twitched a little bit, his eyes narrowing further. In truth, Itzal had been doing everything he could not to think about it, to repress it, and to just bury it within the depths of his mind. The more he thought about it, the worse the thoughts became, the worse he felt, and the more painful it was to think about. Furthermore, he could do nothing to reverse what had happened, and could think of nothing he could do. So he did the next big thing: he locked those memories and feelings down somewhere he couldn't feel them. And he focused on a threat that he could handle that wasn't accompanied by other players. Now with her suggestion, a single image was brought to the front of his mind and he turned away from Zandra. "Whatever logic you use to suggest I return to the frontlines, I'm not going back. If that's your plan I suggest moving on. We both are busy with our jobs."

@Zandra

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As Zandra listened to Itzals reply, she got a bit disapointed, or grumpy. Here she had given him an exampel for why they needed him back on the frontlines. But all he gave back was that it didnt mattered. He would, not! return to the frontlines. Didnt mattered what she said. At first she just looked at the back of one of her friends. Well, someone that was her friend. Thou this was nothing like she rembered. This must be someone else. So many players have abandoned the frontlines. Would Itzal turn and be one of them? But if that was his plan, and it sounded like he was determined to go thru with it, Zandra dont have any authoroty to tell him to do otherwise. ''So, you are not coming back? Then it was good I didnt went out searching for you since that would have been a waste of time. And if you have decided to not come back, Im not someone to tell you otherwise. It is your choice. Thou I am disapointed that you no longer want to figth side by side with us. It have been fun to have you with us.'' she said in a sad tone.

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Itzal was silent and stoic until her last words. Something in him snapped and his eyes narrowed with hatred. "Fun? Fun?! You think fighting on the front lines, facing death every second of the day, to escape a hell which you and everyone else had been thrown into against their will is FUN?! Have you really come to accept this place to that depth?!" He turned his body to look at her dead in the eyes, his own piercing daggers towards her. "Every day people die. Every day people cry. Every day people tremble in fear. Their lives were stolen from them. Their humanity shattered. Their morality broken. Can you even count the number of innocent people who couldn't swing a dagger towards another person? Think of every civilian trapped in this God Forsaken World. Even IF we return, their spirits will forever be broken. The scar of war and terror always hovering above them. And you think that this is fun?" His eyes began to water. "Zandra. You are a heartless, soulless person if you truly think that way. So don't you dare." A tear began to slip down his cheek. "DON'T YOU DARE FORGET THE THOUSANDS WHO'VE DIED, AND THE THOUSANDS MORE WHO'LL DIE!!" He stopped talking and grit his teeth. He quickly turned his back to her and walked a few steps forward before stopping again. His clenched fist shaking. "In the end... It's all pointless. There's no point to anything here."

@Zandra

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  • 3 weeks later...

Zandra listened as Itzal was talking. And as he talked, her eyes started to ingite, she gritting her teeths and knitting her fists. What was he saying? Was he accusing her for being a terrible person. But yeah, he actually did called her that. Heartless and soulless. He had looked at her but now turned around again. She felt her anger wanting to burst out. Most of all she wanted to scream at him to go to hell. But that would accomplish anything except making him believe even more she is terrible person. So instead she closed her eyes and took ten deep breaths. As she opened her crimson eyes, she felt much calmer. ‘’Yes, it is like that.’’ She started in a pretty normal voice. ‘’I do think fighting on the frontlines is fun. Back outside of this world, I was what you should call a hardcore gamer. And I loved mmo’s. So being part of an mmo like this, it is like a dream come true. So yes, I enjoy playing. I know there is no replay or respawn thou, Im not stupid even if you think so.’’ She stopped before continuing. But now in with a faint tone of anger in her voice. ‘’But don’t you dare to say something like what you just said. Ofcourse I don’t forget the victims to the game. But if you think Im heartless just because I enjoy playing this game.’’ She shaked her head and gritted teeths. ‘’Then I don’t understand how you are thinking.’’

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"The flaw with your thinking Zandra, is that this isn't a game. It's life or death. A game is designed to be enjoyable, not to hang the threat of death over each and every one of us. Even if players don't die, which you can't convince me they don't, it's even worse because all the psychological damage they've had over the years stays with them." His fist tightened, his voice nearly cracking as he continued. "There's nothing fun about this hell... Only distractions from reality. The reality of death. Of fear. Of hatred..." 'Losing all you've ever loved...' Itzal was silent for a while after that. He sat down and pulled out one of the needles Velnia would breathe to immobilize his targets, spinning it around for a bit, letting it balance on his finger. "...I won't change how I view this world, or the people in it. But, I won't judge you for it. I've lost the right to do so long ago..." He gripped the iron needle tightly, letting the point hover over his thigh by no more than a centimeter. "You could never understand how I'm feeling. Let alone my thoughts, Zandra. Besides, I'm not worth the effort.. Not anymore... Please. Just leave.. And, don't look for me in the future." He took a deep breath... "Just forget about me." Itzal's grip tightened further, shattering the last reminder he had of Velnia into code, and he exhaled. Every memory he had of his friends. Every item, gift. It was all gone now. The only thing left was Beauty Incarnate, which he had created with Kaiser in mind... But soon enough, he suspected even that would be lost to him.

@Zandra

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  • 5 weeks later...

Zandra looked at Itzal with annoyed eyes. Something wasnt right. Well, that was an understatement, womething was actually wrong, very wrong. Zandra knit her fists. This wasnt Itzal. This was not Are either. This was someoen that have lost all hope. That felt like nothing ever mattered anymore. As small fire started in her eyes. She knew this because she herself had felt that exact same feeling. Thou it wasnt anything she would tell anyone, never. Not even Avilon knew about it. Avilon... The fire disapeared and she felt sad when the pinkette entered her memory. Where was she? She missed her so much, was she lo... No! This was not the time to think about the past. She had to focus on the man infront of her. She had to show her back on the right path. Show him back to the right track. She grabbed his shoulders and shaked him gently. ''Itzal! What the fu** are you mumbling about. This is all a game. It is a game of life and death. Dont for one second think that I enjoy people dying or having that psychological damage. I would do anything to prevent death happen. Or try at least. That is why Im in dungeons for days, griding so I can get stronger and get us frekin' out of here, removing the risk of dying for everyone. Including me, you, the friends Ive made in here, the enemies Ive made in here and everyone else. Thou I do enjoy grinding as well. I like leveling up, theory crafting on builds, brewing new kinds of potion, figthing mobs, finding new more effective and quicker ways to kill mobs. If I didnt enjoyed it, I wouldn't be able to keep up for so long without break. So shut up about me thinking this is a childs game that is just sunshine and rainbows.'' her burning eyes focused on Itzals stare. A few seconds later she realised her face was just a feet from Itzals. She didnt knew why but suddenly her cheeks blushed and she took a step back, realisng the man from her grip.

@Itzal

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Itzal just couldn't understand why. Why would she be fighting so hard to convince him? Why did she care? He just wanted her to leave him, leave him alone. He needed to do this. He needed to hunt these players down, wherever they were. He needed to defeat them, destroy them- no. That wasn't it. He just needed someone. To take out all of his hatred on. All of his pain, his fears and his anger. His wrath... His Ulises. Without her... Without either of them he just.. He just couldn't do anything else. His balled fist began to shake as Zandra continued to rant about how she knew this wasn't just a game, that people were dying and that they were permanently mentally scarred. She continued to rant about how she DID care. And through all of this, Itzal didn't dare look her in the eyes. He was scared he couldn't hold the pain back this time if he did. When she finished and backed off a bit, he turned around. With quivering lips, and a cracked voice, he said: "Just... Leave me.... Please......" Hidden from her, a single tear would start to fall down his cheek. He resisted the urge to wipe it off however, as he just stared into the distant moon. "Please.. Just leave me alone... Just leave me.. Forget about me, please."

@Zandra

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Zandra was snapping out of her sudden confusion why she was getting that feeling by beeing close to Itzal. What feeling even was it? Something she had never felt before. No, who cares. It didnt mattered now. She looked back at Itzals back as he had turned aorund, breaking her line of view at his face. What was wrong with him?  "Just... Leave me.... Please......". What? What was that supposed to mean? "Please.. Just leave me alone... Just leave me.. Forget about me, please." It felt like the man infront really dont wanted her there. She frowned and let out a deep sigh. ''I honestly was glad when I saw you today. It was such a long time ago we last met. I thought.'' she shaked her head. ''No, that dosent matter. We have just been thru so much. But maybe all that was just just a play for you. I dont know who the man that is standing infront of me now are.'' she gave up, turned around and started walk away. Thou she stopped after half a dozen steps or so. ''I did missed Itzal. But no, you are not him.''

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More tears started to drift down his face as he heard Zandra talk to him. Criticize him on how they'd been through much at this point, and how she was so happy to have seen him again. When she accused him of just putting up an act the whole time, he started to cry silently. And finally. On her last words. He broke.

Itzal fell to the ground and screamed to the world: "SHE'S GONE! SHE'S GONE! I LOVED HER, I CARED FOR HER, I SWORE I WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT HER AND NOW SHE'S GONE!" His voice was cut off by his own sobbing as he, for the first time since Kasier's passing, cried, his tears mixed with howls of pain as he thought of his wife. His love. Kasier. The person who helped him grow into someone better. The woman who saw something in him others hadn't. The woman who helped him stay on the right path. He wailed and grabbed his head with both hands with enough force to bruise himself in the real world as he continued to cry uncontrollably. Eventually he'd cried enough to calm down, but only just enough to talk again. "My friends, they're gone, forgot me. My wife, she's dead. Even Velnia. My familiar. I. I lost everyone. I lost everything. I'm... I can't... I don't want..." He shut his eyes and just continued to cry. He couldn't go on like this... Every pker he took down only made him angrier. The more angrier he felt, the more empty, lonely and pained he felt. He couldn't keep this up anymore. This stupid facade. He wasn't some hero keeping people safe. He was no different than a petty criminal or bully. For all his lessons, for all his lectures, and for all the things he's told people. He ended up not being able to handle the loss of his wife.

@Zandra

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Zandra jumped as she herd a sudden sound behind her. Someone screamed, screamed in pain. She glanced over her shoulder. There Itzal was on the ground, screaming that she was gone. ''Gone? Who is gone?'' she said. Thou he probably didnt herd her. When beeing in that state you probably dont hear someone saying something in normal talking tone. It was at that moment she felt something on her arm. Something wet. She looked down and saw a single drip of water rolling down her skin. A hand went to her face. Was she crying now? Why? But she wasnt. Then she glanced upwards. Above them grey clouds had gathered, covering the sun. With them a smooth summer rain had started. She looked down on the ground again where the man kept screaming about how he ahd lost everything and everyone. She had just said she didnt knew who the man was. Well, she was sure it was Itzal, but he had changed. But what she saw now, that was maybe not the whole thuth. Was it all just a facade to not worry others? She didnt knew why or what it was, but the last thing he needed now was to be alone. Even thou she wasnt good in situations like this, that much she knew. She carefully took a few steps up towards him and kneeled down beside him. She carefully placed a hand on him. But what should she say. ''Ehm. Itzal, are you okay?'' she said softly. Then her mind screamed at her. BAKA! Are you totally stupid! He looks lie this and you ask if he is okay!!! She blushed and quickly added. ''Ehm.. I mean... How are... Are you... I mean...'' she had no idea what to say, and the rain increased in strength.

Edited by Zandra
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