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The attack should have been a powerful one but the king upon his throne seemed unfazed by the transgression, weakened by the assault but not slain. It pays him little mind, Gaius pole vaults back away and begins to charge another art on his glaive as a group of cultists rush in and begin to praise him. "What a bunch of idiots." Gaius shouts as the glow fades, sizing up his options and debating if he should just cut through them. A word from a familiar voice: "Maybe...we don't need to attack...maybe...we need to perform." he recognized it as sweetheart, or rather just @Mari.

"No s***, what are you doing here just Mari?" Gaius speaks under his breath, watching her and the group she was leading to begin to take up stances. Mari positions herself on 'a polearm', Gaius chuckles noticing she had chosen a real weapon instead of a butter knife finally. It seems the method of attack was looking jacked. "Well f***, count me in." Gaius barks out loud enough for the Sengu Rangers to hear as he rips off his shirt. "Cheese Grater Ass reporting for duty!" his remarks with a grin and a salute before striking a pose all his own.

Gaius: 44/44 | EN: 21/32 | DMG: 15 | REC: 1 | HM: 2 | LM: 2 | THNS: 10 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant

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Soundtrack: Arabian yodeling. The bustle of the crowd seemed to quiet as storm clouds suddenly moved in, enveloping the whole of Aincrad. Silence blanketed the expanse as quickly as the darkness

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Things were really starting to ramp up now.

It appeared that the Kings' flexing had become infectious. As a result, countless players had begun to flex back. The Kings, who weren't particularly enthralled to be flexed at, regarded their adversaries with scorn, and simply flexed back. With the exception of Rain Minion 12, who sorta just sat there. In the end, everyone looked fabulous.

One player had tried to heal Rain Minion 12. Rain Minion 12, however, was completely unaware, as it was blind and wasn't listening that moment. The action drained 100% of Snow's remaining Energy, and all of the HP that was gained back was immediately wiped out by the other players that were attacking, bringing Rain Minion 12 all the way back down to 1 HP. A shame. Some people just want to watch the world burn.

Come players were now offering sick dance moves as tribute to the Kings. While the Kings refused to outwardly show their appreciation, they were secretly impressed. Rain Minion 12 began bobbing its head, Gob-Gob began tapping its foot, and Swine Jesus broke out into a sick air guitar solo. Everyone was having a good time, except for the players who faced certain death.

Strange, eldritch abominations had begun crawling into this plain of existence from the ever widening maw of the anti-reality portal that Leeroy and Jenkins had transformed into. Gob-Gob laughed and clapped, jumping back and forth from one foot to the other as though a toddler being granted a snack for good behavior. Its cousins had finally arrived. And was that Jim? Gob-Gob hadn't seen Jim since high school. The reunion would have been emotional, had there not been about a hundred annoying players nipping at their ankles.

Swine Jesus didn't get hit. Nothing else to add to that, really. The writer just thought that was interesting.

The cultists were still there, but their chanting had turned to singing. Moments later, the anti-reality portal schlorped them all into its event horizon, then snapped shut forever. Turns out the thing the anti-reality portal hated the most was musicals. The resulting shockwave of the portal's explosion destroyed all of the anti-reality mobs that had come from the other side instantly. Gob-Gob shed a single tear has he said goodbye to his companions for the last time.

Then it flexed. And Swine Jesus the Untouchable Badass of Porky Grace and Anti-Bacon squealed. And the players wept.
 

Spoiler

Strikes:
tricolor_mina [3/3] (Ejected)
Warren [2/3]
Lilik [1/3]
Lessa [1/3]

Joining:
Calrex and Zandra enter the fray.
 

<<Gob-Gob, the Immortal Slayer>>
HP:
[               ]
[               ]

Flex:
Gob-Gob flexes. Deals damage to all players equal to half of their remaining HP.
Thorns Immunity:
Gob-Gob is unaffected by all forms of Thorns damage.
Incorrigible:
Gob-Gob is immune to all debuffs.
Ultimate Life Form:
Gob-Gob is immune to all status effects.
Oh, You're Approaching Me?:
Gob-Gob is unaffected by Hate mechanics.
Discharge:
Gob-Gob is immune to bonus damage from Charge.
Blessing of the Divine King:
So long as Rain Minion 12 is alive, Gob-Gob will revive at the start of his next turn.
Beyond Angels and Demons:
Gob-Gob is immune to bonus damage from Fallen and Holy.
Anti-Inertia:
Gob-Gob is immune to bonus damage from Heavy Momentum.
Angry:
Gob-Gob has become angered. This doesn't actually do anything, he's just angry now. 
Perfect Physique:
Gob-Gob is immune to being flexed against. Silly mortals.
Early Bird Special:
Gob-Gob has been taking it easy the whole time. Flex deals significant additional damage to players entering the event on this turn.

<<Rain Minion 12>>
HP:
[               ]
[               ]

Incorrigible:
Rain Minion 12 is immune to all debuffs.
Ultimate Life Form:
Rain Minion 12 is immune to all status effects.
Oh, You're Approaching Me?:
Rain Minion 12 is unaffected by Hate mechanics.
Discharge:
Rain Minion 12 is immune to bonus damage from Charge.
Untouchable:
Nobody will ever sit on Rain Minion 12's lap again. Ever. (Sitting on Rain Minion 12's lap now resolves in instant death.)
Beyond Angels and Demons:
Rain Minion 12 is immune to bonus damage from Fallen and Holy.
Anti-Inertia:
Rain Minion 12 is immune to bonus damage from Heavy Momentum.
Accessories Not Included:
Rain Minion 12's crown, sunglasses, blunt, and gun can be destroyed by attacking them a single time - even if you miss.
Nope, Too Dope:
In the event that Rain Minion 12's crown, sunglasses, blunt, or gun are destroyed, they will rematerialize instantly. The player that destroyed these artifacts will suffer a -20 Coolness penalty per artifact destroyed.
True Calrex:
Rain Minion 12 cannot be reduced below 1 HP.
Perfect Physique:
Rain Minion 12 is immune to being flexed against. Silly mortals.
See No Evil:
Rain Minion 12 is actually blind. That's why it wears the sunglasses.
Hear No Evil:
Rain Minion 12 isn't deaf. It just has selective hearing.

<<Swine Jesus, Slayer of Axioses>>
HP:
[               ]
[               ]
Familiar: Swine Bajesus (+9 DMG)

DMG: 9 | MIT: 2 | ACC: 17 | EVA: 10 

Holy Squeal:
Swine Jesus lets out a chorus of angels from his perfect maw, reducing the maximum health of all players by the amount of damage they suffered that turn.
Thorns Immunity:
Swine Jesus is unaffected by all forms of Thorns damage.
Incorrigible:
Swine Jesus is immune to all debuffs.
Ultimate Life Form:
Swine Jesus is immune to all status effects.
Oh, You're Approaching Me?:
Swine Jesus is unaffected by Hate mechanics.
Discharge:
Swine Jesus is immune to bonus damage from Charge.
Blessing of the Divine King:
So long as Rain Minion 12 is alive, Swine Jesus will revive at the start of his next turn.
Beyond Angels and Demons:
Swine Jesus is immune to bonus damage from Fallen and Holy.
Anti-Inertia:
Swine Jesus is immune to bonus damage from Heavy Momentum.
Hardy:
Swine Jesus has acquired one point of Mitigation. Nobody, including itself, is sure why.
Can't Stop, Won't Stop:
Swine Jesus' Accuracy has dramatically increased.
Unaware:
Swine Jesus actually has no idea what's going on.
Perfect Physique:
Swine Jesus is immune to being flexed against. Silly mortals.
Oops:
Swine Jesus managed to go an entire turn without being struck a single time. As such, its Evasion has doubled.
Hardy? Again?:
Swine Jesus gained two points of Mitigation, but then lost one. 

Additional boss abilities will be revealed as they become relevant.

Tier 1

Spoiler

Gob-Gob's Flex deals damage to all players equal to half of their remaining HP.
Swine Jesus' Holy Squeal reduces all players' maximum HP by the amount of damage dealt to them this turn.

@Basuke: HP: 25/25 13/13 | EN: 15/20 | DMG: 3 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 5 | BRN: 12 | BLIGHT: 12 | BLD: 12 | PRLZ: 1 | ANTIDOTE: 3 | Burn DoT: -50%
@Freyd - The Whisper in Shadows: HP: 31/31 16/16 | EN: 4/18 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 29 | ACC: 2 | SAV: 1 | REC: 1 | KEEN: 1
@Gaius: HP: 44/44 22/22 | EN: 22/32 | DMG: 15 | REC: 1 | HM: 2 | LM: 2 | THNS: 10 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Shiina: HP: 49/49 25/25 | EN: 36/36 | DMG: 1 | MIT: 27 | REC: 2 | EVA: 3 | LD: 3 | THNS: 10 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Simmone: HP: 47/47 24/24 | EN: 26/34 | DMG: 8 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 3 | BLD: 12 | REC: 2 | THNS: 10 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Eruda: HP: 49/49 25/25 | EN: 30/36 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 54 | EVA: 2 | ACC: 2 | BLD: 12 (8-10) | THNS: 10 | LD: 3 | TAUNT | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Sam: HP: 39/39 20/20 | EN: 16/28 | DMG: 16 | MIT: 10 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 2 | THNS: 10 | LD: 3 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Snow: HP: 54/54 27/27 | EN: 0/38 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 45 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 2 | BLD: 12 (8-10) | THNS: 19 | RGN: 10 | Antioxidant
@claim: HP: 46/46 23/23 | EN: 22/32 | DMG: 7 | MIT: 27 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | BLD: 12 | ENVM DEF: 1 | VAMP DEF: 36 | THNS: 10 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Shay: HP: 25/25 13/13 | EN: 17/20 | DMG: 10 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 5 | BLD: 12 (8-10) | THNS: 10 | REC: 2 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Shye: HP: 25/25 13/13 | EN: 20/20 | DMG: 2 | EVA: 5 | THNS: 10 | REC: 1 | LD: 1 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Megitsune: HP: 40/40 20/20 | EN: 0/32 | DMG: 15 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | THNS: 10 | REC: 2 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Assassin: HP: 30/30 15/15 | EN: 0/24 | DMG: 9 | MIT: 18 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 4 | BLEED: 12 (8-10) | PLZ: 1 | THNS: 10 | Antidote 3/3 | Antioxidants
@Dracul: HP: 25/25 13/13 | EN: 18/20 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 27 | THNS: 28
@Andromeda: HP: 42/42 21/21 | EN: 22/28 | DMG: 7 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 2 | BLIGHT: 24 | BRN: 12 | KEEN: 1 | REC: 2 | Antioxidants
@Elora: HP: 7/7 4/4 | EN: 0/2 | DMG: 8 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 2 | Antidote 3/3 
@Jackpot: HP: 10/10 5/5 | EN: 8/8 | DMG: 4 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 1 | KEEN: 1 | SAVVY: 1
@Dederick: HP: 15/15 8/8 | EN: 12/12 | DMG: 4 | MIT: 32 | THNS: 18 | RGN: 5
@MISERY: HP: 18/18 9/9 | EN: 14/14 | DMG: 1 | MIT: 27 | THNS: 18 | BLD: 12 (8-10) | RGN: 10
@Warren: HP: 8/8 4/4 | EN: 6/6 | DMG: 6 | MIT: 18 | ACC: 2 | KEEN: 1 | BLD: 12
@Astralin: HP: 14/14 7/7 | EN: 3/8 | DMG: 8 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 4 | PRLZ: 1 | BLD: 12 | THNS: 10 | REC: 1 | Antioxidant
@Dazia: HP: 54/54 27/27 | EN: 18/40 | DMG: 10 | MIT: 24 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 4 | THNS: 10 | Antioxidant
@BistroHP: 25/25 13/13 | EN: 10/10 |  DMG: 1 | LD: 5
@Setsuna: HP93/93 47/47 | EN: 26/34 | DMG: 15 | EVA: 5 | ACC: 5 | THRNS: 10 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Kasumi: HP93/93 47/47 | EN: 16/34 | DMG: 15 | EVA: 5 | ACC: 5 | THRNS: 10 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Griswold: HP58/58 29/29 | EN: 25/30 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 39 | ACC: 2 | THNS: 28 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Lilik: HP: 10/10 5/5 | EN: 2/4 | DMG: 5 | MIT: 9


Tier 2

Spoiler

Gob-Gob's Flex deals damage to all players equal to half of their remaining HP.
Swine Jesus' Holy Squeal reduces all players' maximum HP by the amount of damage dealt to them this turn.

@Zajcica: HP: 110/110 55/55 | EN: 30/82 | DMG: 7 | MIT: 99 | EVA: -1 | THNS: 36 | BH: 8 | REC: 4 | TAUNT | DoT Reitst: 25%+25% (1st proc)
@Arabelle: HP: 89/89 45/45 | EN: 18/66 | DMG: 18 | MIT: 3 | ACC: 6 | EVA: 2 | REC: 2
@Raidou: HP: 139/139 70/70 | EN: 88/94 | DMG: 4 | ACC: 2 | MIT: 84 | EVA: 5 | PRLZ: 1 | VAMP OFF: 110 | THNS: 20 | BH: 55 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant
@Crozeph: HP: 90/90 45/45 | EN: 30/64 | DMG: 15 | MIT: 74 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 1 | FRZ: 1 | REC: 4
@KrystaHP: 77/77 39/39 | EN: 39/54 | DMG: 15 | MIT: 54 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 2 | THNS: 36 | PRLZ: 1 | BLD: 24 | THNS: 20 | REC: 2 | Antioxidant
@VigilonHP: 95/95 48/48 | EN: 67/78 | DMG: 18 | MIT: 18 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 3 | PRLZ: 1 | BLD: 24 | THNS: 20 | REC: 3 | TAUNT | Antioxidant


Tier 3

Spoiler

Gob-Gob's Flex deals damage to all players equal to half of their remaining HP.
Gob-Gob's Early Bird Special ability drastically increases the damage Flex does to newcomers this round. (Calrex and Zandra)

Swine Jesus' Holy Squeal reduces all players' maximum HP by the amount of damage dealt to them this turn.

@NIGHT: HP: 150/150 75/75 | EN: 66/102 | DMG: 25 | MIT: 81 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 4 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 72 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 24 | PRLZ: 1 | LD: 6 | Stealth Detection: 3
@Pinball: HP: 160/160 80/80 | EN: 124/128 | DMG: 15 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 36 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 27 | BH: 64
@Mari: HP: 196/196 98/98 | EN: 109/140 | DMG: 23 | MIT: 88 | ACC: 6 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 24 | BLD: 48 | THNS: 45 | BH: 72 | Burn DoT: -50%
@Oscar: HP: 171/171 86/86 | EN: 88/120 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | FLN: 12 | BRN: 36 (8-10) | VAMP DEF: 68 | REC: 6 | BH: 68 | PRLZ IMMUNITY
@Macradon: HP: 249/249 125/125 | EN: 173/189 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 107 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 1 | PSN: 24 | REC: 6 | FRT: 36(21) | FRZ: 6 | VAMP OFF: 189 | BH: 99 | SAFEGUARD
@Bahr: HP: 157/157 79/79 | EN: 112/122 | DMG: 11 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | HM: 6 | LM: 1 | BH: 62 | DoT Resist: 25%+5% (1st proc)
@Lessa: HP: 131/131 66/66 | EN: 87/100 | DMG: 22 | MIT: 116 | ACC: 3 | THNS: 54 | HM: 3 | DoT Resist: 20% (1st proc)
@Ariel - The Crowned Lion: HP: 187/187 94/94 | EN: 135/146 | DMG: 24 | MIT: 64 | ACC: 7 | EVA: 1 | KEEN: 1 | FLN: 4 | REC: 1 | BH: 44 | HB: 48 | LD: 5
@Cordelia: HP: 143/143 72/72 | EN: 101/112 | DMG: 19 | MIT: 25 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | PARA VNM [DF]: 1 | HLY: 12 | ABS. ACC | PHASE
@CalrexHP: 1805/1805 50/50 | EN: 176 | DMG: 16 | MIT: 116 | ACC: 4 |  EVA: 3 | ACH: 0.5
@Zandra: HP: 1740/1740 50/50 (Put your stats in an easy to copy/paste format and I'll update this with the rest.)

 

Players have until 1 AM GMT-6 on June 20th, 2020 to respond.

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From chaotic flexing and posing to random dancing and even more chaos erupting around them. This battle for their freedom was one big fat joke, and it wasn’t even funny. Macradon grit his teeth and groaned, he had been yote by Mari all across the battlefield and kept on lying there on the ground, pondering, what would be their last moves … When a quick spark of genius filled his brain like some bad 3D animated cartoon from eons ago. He quickly rose from the ground, like a vampire finally having time to raise from his casket. Quickly sending over a message to Mari, Macradon would snicker.

Quote

 

Hey Mari,

It’s time to pose with them, let us show them how you should flex at other players. On my mark you flash over to me, charge at Rain Minion and stop before you clash, yell a catch phrase, and pose at the other players, since everything we’ve done has resulted in nothing, this could at least be joyful to do.

- Macradoodle

 

Sending over the message, Macradon would await the signal that Mari had read his message, and when that was done, the knight would laugh and evil maniacal laughter before going down into the best limbo stance one could. His legs bending, his torso leaned backwards, his point of balance seemingly impossible. With his arms stretched out to each side, Macradon would set the signal up for Mari

“WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
he roared and flexed his body, bulging all his muscles.

He looked over at Rain Minion and wanted to show what games he could play “ZA … WARUDO! he called out and used his Vanish skill to disappear from the scene, quickly finding a spot to hide before walking casually at the other side of the king on the throne. With each step, Macradon would stride with pride, standing proud as he said “Time has resumed.”.

He would chortle and wait for Mari to do her deal, and when she arrived he would strike a duo pose with her. The two idiots back at it again.

ID: 153956
BD: 7 -> Pose!
CD: 1 -> No Proc.
LD: 8+5 -> 13 Stealth Rating

@NIGHT: HP: 150/150 75/75 | EN: 66/102 | DMG: 25 | MIT: 81 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 4 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 72 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 24 | PRLZ: 1 | LD: 6 | Stealth Detection: 3
@Pinball: HP: 160/160 80/80 | EN: 124/128 | DMG: 15 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 36 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 27 | BH: 64
@Mari: HP: 196/196 98/98 | EN: 109/140 | DMG: 23 | MIT: 88 | ACC: 6 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 24 | BLD: 48 | THNS: 45 | BH: 72 | Burn DoT: -50%
@Oscar: HP: 171/171 86/86 | EN: 88/120 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | FLN: 12 | BRN: 36 (8-10) | VAMP DEF: 68 | REC: 6 | BH: 68 | PRLZ IMMUNITY
Macradon: HP: 249/249 125/125 | EN: 169/189 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 107 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 1 | PSN: 24 | REC: 6 | FRT: 36(21) | FRZ: 6 | VAMP OFF: 189 | BH: 99 | SAFEGUARD
@Bahr: HP: 157/157 79/79 | EN: 112/122 | DMG: 11 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | HM: 6 | LM: 1 | BH: 62 | DoT Resist: 25%+5% (1st proc)
@Lessa: HP: 131/131 66/66 | EN: 87/100 | DMG: 22 | MIT: 116 | ACC: 3 | THNS: 54 | HM: 3 | DoT Resist: 20% (1st proc)
@Ariel - The Crowned Lion: HP: 187/187 94/94 | EN: 135/146 | DMG: 24 | MIT: 64 | ACC: 7 | EVA: 1 | KEEN: 1 | FLN: 4 | REC: 1 | BH: 44 | HB: 48 | LD: 5
@Cordelia: HP: 143/143 72/72 | EN: 101/112 | DMG: 19 | MIT: 25 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | PARA VNM [DF]: 1 | HLY: 12 | ABS. ACC | PHASE
@CalrexHP: 1805/1805 50/50 | EN: 176 | DMG: 16 | MIT: 116 | ACC: 4 |  EVA: 3 | ACH: 0.5
@Zandra: HP: 1740/1740 50/50 (Put your stats in an easy to copy/paste format and I'll update this with the rest.)

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One of the noobs nearly wept alright. Partly in despair because their masterful flexing strategy only served to amuse the Herculean figures who then simultaneously flaunted the most exemplar of poses that An had to drop hers in shame. And also partly in joy because the Rain Minion 12 devotees’ impromptu worship service had reached a nigh unbearable level before they were effectively yeeted into the void – and any more “nyek, nyek, nyek”s and her dreams would be forever haunted by those cursed sounds or worse… she’d have turned brainwashed! 

Look, she had her reasons; bear with her a little here. They didn’t suffer any of the area effects the resistant players did, and after all, weren’t deities icons one submitted themself to…?

In retrospect, a very bad line of thought.

–Oh no, wait, did they also die?

An could only hope they just got teleported to someplace where they could reflect on their actions. For now, HP was a problem. “Hah!” A thrust made in complete frustration caught only thin air as the gigantic boarman ballerina thing’d away without even looking. “If beating them at their own game doesn’t work, then what does?” she yelled out to her only companion in this crisis. How he hadn’t thought to turn tail and run away yet, she didn’t know – but they were still in this together and she felt like their bond had deepened through trial somehow!

(Basuke is now set to appear in An’s relationship tracker. It's a special case this time, okay--)

Spoiler

Crucifixion (2 EN)
ID: 153958 | BD: 2 + 5 = 7 - 10 = -3

Recovery
ID: 153959 | CD: 1

Andromeda | HP: 21/21 | EN: 21/28 | DMG: 7 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 2 | BLIGHT: 24 | BRN: 12 | KEEN: 1 | REC: 2 | Antioxidants

 

Edited by Andromeda
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Insanity.

There was nothing but insanity in this battle. 

Vigilon had attacked, that did nothing. He tried going for the "Slay them all at once" tactic, that utterly failed. He flexed, and he was met by nothing but pressure so hard it could have actually been undeniably painful if it weren't for the pain dampener.

725756230_ConfusedScreaming.jpg.8e8710bb671df135cf8c67cd480ce279.jpg

Poor Vigilon underwent some confused screaming for at least a good long minute as it all transpired. The glitched, eldritch portal, the horrors, and the apparently cannibalistic Jim, not to mention the moment when they all got attacked, and the portal swallowed them back up, taking the Rain Cultists with them, and it was back to the "Your actions are futile, here's more flexing and squealing" issue. Vigilon's health was dropping so low, and there was nothing he could do about it. He felt helpless, and he was definitely running out of options. He looked around, he listened to the chaos, and, among several voices, was his one last shot at making any headway to victory. "Dancing?" He thought aloud. "Not sure if that'll help, but it's all I've got left, and that's not much at all... Well, it's better than nothing, here goes..." So he dropped everything and literally started freestyling, as if there was nothing else he could do, and as if his life depended on it. Regardless of the result, he would finish it with a dab.

[Vigilon freestyle dances on the battlefield]

ID# 153974 BD: 3, CD: 11, LD: 15(I have no idea which die would be more relevant, so I'm showing all there just in case. Also, Vigilon recovers an additional 3 EN)

Vigilon: HP: 95/95 48/48 | EN: 71/78 | DMG: 18 | MIT: 18 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 3 | PRLZ: 1 | BLD: 24 | THNS: 20 | REC: 3 | TAUNT | Antioxidant

Edited by Vigilon
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HIDDEN EDGES INTO BATTLE!

Spoiler

Stats

Hidden
Level 48
[0] Hidden | 980/980 HP | 96/96 EN | 13 DMG | 61 MIT | 4 ACC | 2 EVA | 8 Holy | 1 Vamp (OFF.)
960 
HP
96 Energy
4 Accuracy
2 Evasion
13 Base Damage
61 Mitigation
+3 Stealth Rating

Gear
<<Nato's Might>>         // +8 Holy DMG, + 1 ACC, + 1 Vamp Off.
<<Shadow of Dusk>> // +36 Mit, +1 EVA
<<Shadow's Light>> // +3 ACC
              <<Umbra>> // +6 DMG

Buffs


Battle Ready Inventory
1x Teleport Crystal

Skills

Dagger | Rank 5: +5 DMG
Hide | Rank 4: +4 Stealth Rating
Light Armor | Rank 5: +18 Mitigation                               
E Familiar - DMG | Rank 3 +6 DMG
E Survival | No Ranks: Immunity to Environmental Effects
Disguise | +1 EVA til next turn - 5 Turn Cooldown

Skill Mods

Athletics ~ +20 HP, +1 DMG
Precision ~ +1 ACC

Acrobatics ~ +1 EVA



Fashionably late to the event, she looked on to the fight which was... interesting. There were several bosses, and they were playing music and flexing and... it was almost too much to compute. However, there seemed to be a rather large amount of players attending this [censored] sh*t show of an event. If there were eventual rewards, of course she too would join in on the activities. Of course, she hadn't brought anything in terms of buffs so she would just be all on her own with her current character's strength. She moved down and with all the wackyness happening, she doubted a dark cloaked player would seem out of place. 'Who was she to attack? There was so much craziness it was giving her a headache.' 

Her eyes fell on the small child riding on the back of the boar. White hair, carefree, seeming to have a great time. "Seriously?" It was Assassin. The small girl must of ran off to this event without even mentioning anything. She would have came by sooner. Now, the girl was riding on what she assumed to be on of the bosses. 'Why can this even happen? What is happening?' 

She began to head towards the boar and child when she heard,  "HEY. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU LITTLE SH*T STAIN? GET THE HELL OFF MY PIG!"

She turned with her eyes darkening. Her eyes met the man who the words spewed the words. She couldn't help but feel that was he was familiar. It didn't matter, he probably had little importance anyway. 'OH... there's an idea. He is in the perfect position. I can leap off him, and then have a straight shot to grab her. All I gotta do is get the time right. Oh yeah, its all coming together..Here I come Assas- Yeah that is way too damn long of a name.

She began to run at full speed @Bahr "Hey jacka**! That sh*t stain is with me!" She leapt off the ground, leaping just over Bahr. Midair, she would kick off of him full sport, sending herself at Boar and @Assassin. Grabbing Assassin midflight, she would knock the girl off the boar and the two would roll on the ground. 

After they came to a stop, Hidden would sit up while glaring at the young girl. "Did I say you could go riding bosses around today? I don't think so. You're gonna think on your actions." 

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Well now, it seemed that several players listened to Astralin's idea. She looked around, seeing the players who had tried the idea of using dance to beat the bosses, including... "Vigilon??" She exclaimed. She had both a hand over her mouth and a suppressed smile on her face in reaction to his attempt. "I'm sorry, it just looks so funny to me..." She admitted as she failed to suppress her smile. "I can hardly remember how long it's been since I'd actually danced...I hope I can show them what I'm made of!"

She would look towards her opponents, wondering if they would accept the challenge. She did what she could, for it really had been a while since she had really danced. She managed a minor groove, but hopefully she would quickly readjust, so that she could really outdo her opponents in this type of activity.

Lord knows she would need to.

 

ID# 154039 BD: 2, CD: 11(recovery activates), LD: 17

Astralin: HP: 14/14 7/7 | EN: 5/8 | DMG: 8 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 4 | PRLZ: 1 | BLD: 12 | THNS: 10 | REC: 1 | Antioxidant

Edited by Astralin
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As the chaos ensued, a player who looked like some kind of tank decided to betray the players, healing the enemy...and...apologizing?? "What the hell is wrong with her?" She thought. She considered teaching her a lesson, but from what she knew, most tanks had thorns damage applied to their armor, so even if she was enraged enough to not care about cursor color, it still wouldn't be an option. She looked back to her target, unbothered by the eldritch portal that opened up. She was ready to continue her assault against Rain Minion 12. Before the Portal consumed the cultists, they managed to trip her up, messing with her attack. "Nyek, nyek, nyek!!" The cultist laughed, before the portal took him so suddenly. "They got what they deserved..." She thought. Of course, her health and energy were waning, and defeat seemed to be nearing. "Dammit.... Damn it all!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE???" She roared out to the bosses, completely disregarding whether or not it would have any result. She was too furious for that.

 

ID# 154043 BD: 1(Critical Fail)

Dazia(Enraged)HP: 54/54 27/27 | EN: 17/40 | DMG: 10 | MIT: 24 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 4 | THNS: 10 | Antioxidant

Edited by Dazia
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Mari began to doubt the legitimacy of this battle.

"Heh." Mari snuffed her nose with the tip of her thumb. "Well Macradon - if we're gonna dine in hell tonight. I'm mighty glad I'm dining with you." She swung her spear to rest up on her shoulder. Re-reading his message so she was sure that she had gotten the right context from it. At that point he had disappeared after his insanely loud and ear piercing battle cry. Mari partly wished he had warned her - because damn she was almost too close to that.

Welp, looks like she was charging at the Rain Minion again; even though there was an odd status ailment stating flexing would not work on him but hey; they weren't flexing at him - but this time...at the crowd.  Around a dozen players had flexed last time, this time? Let's double it!


"KiNG CRIMSON!"

Mari shouted as she twisted her body, sliding to a stop just in front of the blind Rain Minion 12 - she turned to face the crowd of players, jutting an exposed leg up, muscles taught and shimmering with the rays of hope and dreams. The unyielding joy of Za Warudo. Sweat dripped from her forehead like a swift coursing river - but she flexed with the strength of a great typhoon. Her determination, the strength of a raging fire. And finally, the pose. As mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

And Mac, joined her.  Lights, like ten million fireflies...sparkling lights shimmered off the duo's body as Macradon joined Mari at her side; a vogue pose with a rippling cascade of supple and taught flesh. Flexing.

FOrevEr FleXinG



image.png.f314cbbe6208490b2ebcee7fa7bd717d.png

f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌f̸͚͙̮͛̅̌͌l̷̑͜e̷͊̎̈́͜ẋ̶̣̌
F̴̛͉̲̪͔͖̘̮̃L̷̬͓̝͓̿̂͐͜Ȩ̵̫̼̟͕͙͋̈́͂͌͛͠X̵͇̜͈́̑̈̕F̴̛͉̲̪͔͖̘̮̃L̷̬͓̝͓̿̂͐͜Ȩ̵̫̼̟͕͙͋̈́͂͌͛͠X̵͇̜͈́̑̈̕F̴̛͉̲̪͔͖̘̮̃L̷̬͓̝͓̿̂͐͜Ȩ̵̫̼̟͕͙͋̈́͂͌͛͠X̵͇̜͈́̑̈̕F̴̛͉̲̪͔͖̘̮̃L̷̬͓̝͓̿̂͐͜Ȩ̵̫̼̟͕͙͋̈́͂͌͛͠X̵͇̜͈́̑̈̕F̴̛͉̲̪͔͖̘̮̃L̷̬͓̝͓̿̂͐͜Ȩ̵̫̼̟͕͙͋̈́͂͌͛͠X̵͇̜͈́̑̈̕F̴̛͉̲̪͔͖̘̮̃L̷̬͓̝͓̿̂͐͜Ȩ̵̫̼̟͕͙͋̈́͂͌͛͠X̵͇̜͈́̑̈̕


F̴̛͉̲̪͔͖̘̮̃L̷̬͓̝͓̿̂͐͜Ȩ̵̫̼̟͕͙͋̈́͂͌͛͠X̵͇̜͈́̑̈̕

F̴̛͉̲̪͔͖̘̮̃L̷̬͓̝͓̿̂͐͜Ȩ̵̫̼̟͕͙͋̈́͂͌͛͠X̵͇̜͈́̑̈̕

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Spoiler

Oscar HP: 86/86 | EN: 88/120 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | FLN: 12 | BRN: 36 (8-10) | VAMP DEF: 68 | REC: 6 | BH: 68 | PRLZ IMMUNITY

The eldritch horrors had been destroyed about as quickly has they came. Small mercies. A shame about that nameless player character though. No one deserved to go out like that. And then the cultists, pulled into the realm of nightmares for all eternity. How deep did the fallout of this conflict actually go? Oscar couldn't think of a single fight that had racked up such a huge body count. There didn't seem to be anything they could do to these paragons of strength. It seemed like the entire thing was put together just to mess with them. Just to pad out the body count. Every turn, their health was being slashed lower and lower. What would happen when they all reached one health? Would they be permanently stuck there or would they watch as all of their hopes and dreams were snuffed out? If he was on rails barreling straight towards his death, Oscar would at least enjoy himself. He felt a certain resonance with the swole goblin. That would be his target. He took off into a sprint and dashed behind the goblin. Then, he leaped towards the creature and clung to his back. The goblin pitched forward with Oscar straddling his back like a horsey. The Ultimate Tactical Equestrian Mode had been engaged.

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When NIGHT's sanity had returned, her cheeks felt sore. The sky had returned to its holy gold and overcast glows, as though the nightmare hadn't even stumbled upon them to begin with. Her sigh was one of relief -- contentment, one could even call it -- as she found herself strapped to the battlefield's pavement, the world still spinning aimlessly around her. What had even happened during the interim? At least the abominations were gone. Yet, three blinks and a shake of her head couldn't stop throbbing pain that was still pounding into her skull. The damage sucked. And so did these standing, still flexing bosses if they were believed to be nigh unkillable.

She could almost hear her commander ordering her to get up. Either that, or it was an obnoxious side effect from one of the ethereals that had sauntered through the portal, still beaming messages into her head from beyond the fifth realm. Slowly, NIGHT found herself shifting to prop herself upwards; sitting upright first, before relying on the grip of her sword to pull herself on her own two feet. Reality still seemed to remain in tact despite her stumbling position, so at least she had a stable plane to play on now.

Still, the question of what to do and how to resolve their predicament still burned in NIGHT's mind. The woman wasn't exactly an optimist; rather, every fiber of her fragmented digital being might as well have been yelling at her to stop and slow down and maybe abscond the fight.

Yet, weary still, she carried on. A tired turn of her head towards Arabelle as she came into view, and a nod to Yuki, though she doubted the paladin would register it, too busy frightened by the apocalypse to continue her acknowledgement of it. "We still carry on, don't we? I'm not much for showboating--" Her gaze scanned the crowd of players who'd begun to entertain the bosses, seemingly able to move their feet and head if not their hearts to leave them be. "-- so as much as I'd like to play bard and preach them to leave, I'd be much better off trying to pack them a punch."

"Even if it is a lost cause."

A saddened smile, her conciousness beginning to fray at the seams. As she wriggled her sword free from the floor, she bade it to glow another wave of white, her advances slower this time, a solitary march off to her own funeral. Their health bars would shrink, divide in health only to reach the 1 mark, and it was until then they would be free to struggle, waiting for their time to know if their gods were merciful or they were simply playing a joke on humanity. Either way, in light of her own uselessness, her swings had turned out to be weak, unwilling, cutting through only the most stable of of the divine trio. She didn't even bother trying to catch up to Swine Jesus this time around.

Why even bother when it wasn't going to die?

Spoiler

ID: 154204 | BD: 11 (6, +5)
<<Calamity Disaster>> vs Gob-Gob, the Immortal Slayer.
25 * 12 = 300 DMG

ID: 154203 | BD: 9 (4, +5)
<<Calamity Disaster>> vs Rain Minion #12.
25 * 12 = 300 DMG

ID: 154202 | BD: -4 (1, +5 -10)
NIGHT missed!

Gob-Gob, the Immortal Slayer | HP: -300
Rain Minion #12 | HP: -300

NIGHT | HP: 75/75 | EN: 54/102 (+1, -13) | ACC: 5 | DMG: 25 | EVA: 4 | MIT: 81 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 72 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 24 | PRLZ: 1 | LD: 6 | Stealth Detection: 3

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If it hadn't been apparent to nearly everyone in the foray that Basuke was in absolutely no shape to command, or lead, or to even think of ideas, perhaps now would be the time to highlight and underline it for the future. Just for reference.

The abominations seemed to have taken their leave. Gob-Gob seemed particularly taken by their absence, before it'd resumed flexing its perfect, masculine aptitude on the raving player base of Aincrad. And the way they'd jammed to the heartfelt songs and performances of the masses at hand -- perhaps it was best to bare their souls to their gods? Maybe show them what the best of them could offer the world of artistry...!

 

But where to begin? Oh, Basuke knew how. Obviously. He'd totally been training for this. He has a Youtube channel, you know? The dance videos had sucked, because he hadn't the poise or the flexibility to keep up with his trainers, but if there was anything he'd learned from the craft, it was this.

Vlog videos were still going viral.

His face beamed with an excited >:3 as he slowly fished out his worm. For once he'd disrupted his familiar's peaceful sleep. The tiny wriggling thing only reveled in the divine's light by sinking its edged teeth into Basuke's open hand, and he'd jumped at the shock and pain.

"Oof-- ow...!"

Okay, maybe not the best idea. He cut a square into Rain Minion #12's legs, figuring the swine wouldn't exactly be interested in his shenanigans, and the goblin's skin apparently being too perfect to have his sword driven into its hide right now. Whatever, one make shift camera would do.

"Andromeda, come here!" He'd ushered his accomplice over with a big grin stuck on his face, before holding up his pet short-snake up for the seared window to see.

"Hello! Uh, welcome back to Basuke's life in Aincrad!" He did a little jazz wave here with his free hand. "So anyway we- are- in- a... apocalypse? World ending scene --- world ending scenario, is that what we call it?" He glanced at his friend just to make sure his English was on point, before continuing on with a smile. "But before I go bye bye, I wanted to show off my newest pet...! Ow-- it's very nippy -- oi--! -- It's a striped worm, something called a Tsuchinoko?"

At some point. Smiggle Crocs V decided to hop off its owner and waddle away, leaving a flustered Basuke bouncing his gaze back and forth towards the fading marks of his sword art and his party member. "Uhh, anyway like and subscribe, okay? Yes yes, bye--!! Aaand outro music here! Yay!"

Basuke proceeded to pump his fists into the air like the absolute lunatic he was. Mission... maybe a success.

Spoiler

ID: 154206 | BD: 1 | Basuke missed!
ID: 154205 | BD: 9 | Basuke hit Rain Minion #12 with Vertical Square! (-16 DMG)

Basuke | HP: 13/13 | EN: 10/20 (+1, -6) | DMG: 3 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 5 | BRN: 12 | BLIGHT: 12 | BLD: 12 | PRLZ: 1 | ANTIDOTE: 3 | Burn DoT: -50%

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"Huh.  Not really how I expected my full psychotic break to play out, to be honest."  Freyd was standing in the middle of the battlefield, surrounded by the emergent and ever growing insanity.  If this was Cardinal's moment of glory, it felt a bit too Bizarro-world - too over the top.  All the flexing and singing and other random non-sequiturs made about as much sense to him as the bosses.  Conclusion = 'You have gone insane.  Have a nice day.  End of line.'

He was still staring at the flagrant debuff icon that appeared over his name after his futile attempt to destroy Rain Minion 12's signature items:  '-80 Coolness. Totally uncool.'

"Yeah," he mused aloud, "no real surprise there, [---]-hat."  There was no one around him paying any attention to him anyway, and thus no longer any point in keeping his inner monologue in check.  If this was Cardinal's master play, it only proved that the system was more buggy than he'd already believed.  Maybe enough screws had finally fallen loose that it was about to crash and take all of them with it.  More likely, his original hypothesis had been correct: this whole place was just the manifestation of his own personal hell, and it was about to collapse into oblivion.

"Totally uncool, eh?"  Freyd dismissed his weapon and shuffled over to where Rain Minion 12 was sitting, one hand stuffed into his pocket.  The other one holding an imaginary cigarette that he pretended to light as he walked, because what-the-F did it matter anymore.

Pausing in front of sheer immensity of the god-king-thing before him.  He threw his imaginary smoke on the ground and stomped it out, because, you know, that's what you do.  Squinting defiantly at the boss lounging grandly before him, holding his best Clint Eastwood pose, he screamed.

"GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"

And then he kicked Rain Minion 12 in the nuts, or, at least, where he thought they might be.

Edited by Freyd - The Whisper in Shadows
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The good news: the eldritch abominations were gone. This freed up Bistro's ability to hop between different roof top locales now. Oh, and the lolipop she'd been snacking on? Strawberry flavoured. Truly the best kind to have available in her worst moments.

The woman had even been able to make it back to her storefront in relative peace! It seemed as though most players causing the congestion out front earlier had either been converted into cultists after being deemed weak of mind by the system... or they'd fled the first floor entirely, probably living a healthy and happy life in their last, blissful, pain free moments before the end. So that was generally bad news if she had to be specific, but if it meant getting back to the Cintamani completely scar-free, Bistro was totally down for that. She could mourn in the comforts of her own workshop, after all. The store was just as peaceful and untouched as she'd remembered it.

 

 

 

Oh, the bad news? She was still marked as being in combat. And the player base, if not the divines were loud. As much as Bistro had wanted to cry herself to sleep in the confines of her own room...

... she just couldn't, after all. But, uh, anyway, time to QQ harder...!

[No action taken.]

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  • ID: 154237
  • BD: 8 [+4] success
  • CD: 8 [Recovery] proc +4 EN
  • Crozeph dealt 15 buffed damage x 15 San Ge = 225 damage to Rain Minion 12

Crozeph: HP: 90/90 45/45 | EN: 22/64 | DMG: 15 | MIT: 74 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 1 | FRZ: 1 | REC: 4

Debuffs are useless, his freeze is useless, even healing is useless. Such disadvantages are near impossible to recover from and even with their flexing it was still useless but Crozeph is never giving up. Mari and Yuki is still with him and so he must do his best while still can. Crozeph made another pose again. He wasn't letting this who-knows-where-it-came-from confidence drop like an outdated computer. Standing on his toes and pointing his finger once again at Rain Minion 12, he made sure he gets his message across "I don't know why I'm doing this but I'll play along" he uttered. He wasn't letting himself fall short of his moves, he wanted to keep up with Mari and Mac and knew that he must add some flare to his moves.

 

Spoiler

1253930707_eventpose.thumb.png.a8ebcdf3d19db0abb0e6d12c7a6e95c0.png

Now he uttered pointless things, he proceeded to attack Rain Minion 12 again, the eldritch horrors from earlier are gone now and that makes things less distracting for him. As much as Crozeph wanted to take a closer look at them, he already had a fight to pay close attention right now. Crozeph slashed over and over again hoping that Rain Minion would die already, the respawn antics keep on making their health drop like bombs launched on a country reducing it as if they are all back to the first tier of levels. Frustrating, really frustrating, and as he jumped back to the formation he looked around to see if that girl would try to climb up Rain Minion 12 again. 

I should've done a sailor moon pose...

Edited by Crozeph
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In true main character fashion, Shield was late for the first day of school the last event of 2.6. He was even late to edit his post after being late to post! He jumped out of bed and ran past his bathroom mirror, pausing and noticing that his hair was not big and spiky enough to be a main character. Or pink. Main characters needed to have pink hair or something, but there was nothing he could do about that now. His fingers flew in a flurry of dexterous skill, fluffing his hair up to ten times its usual volume and spiked straight up. "That's very main character," he said, blowing the mirror a kiss. "You put the 'pro' in 'protagonist.'" He leaped to the door in a single, cheaply animated bound and turned to look around his kitchen. The toaster that had never been shown in prior threads due to animation budget cuts launched two pieces of toast at the burly tank, but he shrieked and ducked under them due to his tragic backstory.

"No... I can't let the toaster win this time." He bear-hugged the toaster, shouting a battle cry that would have done his ancestors proud. "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" A machine-gun spray of pre-buttered toast spattered across the ceiling, plastering the sliced breakfast projectiles like hot napalm across the ceiling. With one last shuddering breath, the toaster fell limp in his arms. He spiked it into the ground, picked up his helmet and a plate, and held out the platter, catching a falling cascade of toast in a nice, neat stack. He kicked the door open, placed the plate on top of his head and began chewing furiously on his helmet as he raced to the bottom of the mountain in a montage of still shots with intense sound editing. "Ahhhh! The animators seem to have gotten lazy again," Shield said, his mouth remaining open and unmoving as he spoke.

He neared the bottom of the mountain and realized that mathematically, it would be much longer to travel all the way to Taft and teleport to the first floor. "Hmmmmm!" he thought to himself aloud, his eyes now closed for some reason as he scratched his chin, because that's how main characters show they're thinking about things. "I know a shortcut! The long way is for suckers and for not-main-character types!" He barreled through the floor of the eleventh floor, running straight downward through the air as he fell through the sky of the tenth floor, continuing to crash through that floor as well.

This continued through the ninth, eighth, seventh, sixth, and fifth floors, but Shield did not like the cold, so he skipped the fourth floor altogether and continued on through the third and second floors.

Above the battle, a pinprick of light appeared in the ceiling of the first floor, and meteor-like, Shield streaked through the sky and crashed to the ground at the bosses feet, leaving a Shield shaped indentation in the ground.

[Editor's note: It bears mentioning that the indentation was shaped like a Shield and not a shield. While Shield was indeed holding a shield, the only part of the Shield shape that was shield shaped was the indentation of Shield's shield. That was shaped like a shield. However, since there is more to Shield than a shield, the Shield shape was comprised of more than just the shape of a shield. Any questions? I can't hear anyone asking questions, because I'm an editor, not a listener, so I'm going to assume there are no questions. Editor out.]

Shield jumped up from the ground and shook off the dirt, thanking the editor who was not listening for his kind clarification in the text that Shield was not aware was being written about him. However, though the editor was not a good listener, Shield was a good looker. His eyes became very moe as he looked over boss-senpai and minion-kun.

Hmmm... Thought Shield in an internal monologue that blared loudly for everyone around him to hear. Since the early exposition said that boss-senpai is immune to Hate mechanics, then I cannot use Hate to make senpai notice me. I must therefore notice him, and in noticing him, try to also notice how I can make him notice me in return.

Shield decided now would be a good time to make a notice senpai check and used the built-in online dice perma-roller at http://www.cydel.net/dice.php to make his attempt. He wasn't aware of that dice roller though, but for some reason, he noticed that boss senpai looked very fifteen-ish. "Now listen here!" he called out to the boss, "You think you're tough enough to step with us main characters?" He clicked his tongue in the manner that people often did in anime that sounded nothing like the actual clicking of a tongue. "Well, it looks like I've characterized your main mistake!"

ID# 154314 results: Loot: 6+9=15

Stats:

Shield - HP: 1850/1850 | EN: 176 | MIT: 181 | ACC: 0 | DMG: 2 | EVA: -1 | BH: 92 HP | HB: 48 | LD: +9 | FLA: 15

Spoiler

» Shield, The Immovable Object

  • Modified HP:
  • Modified EN:
  • Modified MIT:
  • Modified ACC:
  • Modified DMG:
  • Modified EVA:
  • Battle Heal:
  • Search: +1 [Yamata No Orochi Statue]
  • Temp Buff:
  • Temp Buff:
  • Temp Buff:

» Base Stats

  • Base HP: 1850
  • Base EN: 176
  • Base MIT: 181
  • Base ACC: 0
  • Base DMG: 2
  • Base EVA: -1
  • Battle Heal: 92 HP
  • Search: +9

» Items Equipped:

  • Manticore Mask - T3 Perfect Shield - Flame Aura I / Taunt / Mitigation I
  • Seeking Aura - T1 Perfect Trinket - Loot Die III
  • Blessed Greaves - T3 Demonic Heavy Armor - Mitigation II / Holy Blessing II
  • Wedding Ring [+18 MIT]
  • Hammerspace Backpack (HB) +1 BR item (allows stacks up to 7)

» Battle-Ready Inventory:

  • Golden  Keys x7 | Unique Item | +2 Search on Chests
  • Basic Teleportation Crystal x4 | Good Item | Teleports player to the Town of Beginnings
  • Safeguard Potion x3 | Perfect Tier 1 | Safeguard
     

» Skills:

  • Searching | 5 Ranks | +5 Bonus to LD, +0 to Stealth Detect
  • Battle Healing | 5 Ranks | While in combat, recover 1% per rank (85HP) at the beginning of your turn
  • First Aid | 5 Ranks | +4% HP per rank (+20% HP) on Post Action
  • Picking | Purchased | +3 LD when opening chests
  • Heavy Armor | 5 Rank | +35 Mitigation
  • Energize | Purchased |  Restore 8 EN to target
  • Block | 5 Ranks | +25 Mitigation
  • Howl | Purchased | +2 Hate against each opponent (up to 4)
  • Fighting Spirit | Purchased | +1 Hate when using Howl or Focused Howl
  • Parry | Purchased 3 Turn Cooldown | 5 Energy | Reduces incoming damage by 50%
  • Fishing | Purchased | Fish for equipment and gain prestige among old men

» Extra Skills:

  • Concentration | No Ranks | Gain +1 BD for a single attack | 5 Turn Cooldown
  • Familiar Mastery: Healer |  3 Ranks | +135 HP (Does not require post action)
  • Martial Arts | 1 Rank | +1 Base Damage per slot with Unarmed Weapons
  • Meditation | Purchased | Recover an additional 15 EN on Post Action | 3 Turn Cooldown
  • Survival | Purchased |  Increases out of combat health regen to (15xTier) 45 per post

» Mods:

  • Athletics: +1 DMG +45 HP
  • Focused Howl: +4 Hate against single target on Post Action
  • Dismantling: +2 LD when opening chests
  • Stone Wall: +Gain 10 MIT and 45 HP from heavy armor. Reduces DOT by 25%. -1 to Evasion.
  • Sharpness: Gives target +[Target's Tier] to Base Damage for 2 turns | 1 Turn Cool Down
  • Justified Riposte: A successful Parry also stuns the target for 1 turn. | 3 Turn Cool Down
  • Vengeful Riposte: A successful Parry returns 50% of DMG back to your opponent - mitigatable. | 3 Turn Cool Down

 

Edited by Shield
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The scene before her eyes was starting to look more and more ridiculous, and the blonde actually pinched her cheek to check if she was perhaps sleeping. Then agin, as soon as her hand touched her face she let it drop, remembering once more that the pain absorbers wouldn't make her feel anything that a tactile sensation. Not nearly the same stimuly the sharp pain produces when you pinch your skin. Her parry didn't do anything, a dud. WIth little else to do, Ariel charged at something that could've died. The freaking walking beacon that Assassin had rode for a while and even now continued to prance around this pathetic excuse for a battlefield, as if mocking them. She used her charged to catch up with tonight's supper and extended her spear towards it, making sure she'd use her most powerful sword art for a swift and painless death. Also to not damage the goods for cooking later.

ID# 154239  BD: 5 Miss Swine Bajesus

 

Edited by Ariel - The Crowned Lion
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Even the blonde has lost her mind it seems. I direct my assistant's direction at one of the many lunatics, specifically the blonde that that we were more familiar with. Which currently was chasing a small pig familiar and weaving her spear around like she'd gone mad. "This has to be a nightmare." I mumble while facepalming then I run my forehead repeatedly. "I'm sure Ariel-dono is just thinking outside the box?" came the nervous reply from my male brunette assistant. I look at him with disbelief, sure than even he wouldn't be that blind towards the actions of those around them. "Something is happening here." Claudia, presents her insight but doesn't elaborate, leaving me somehow yearning to hear the rational explanation that lead to her spoken conclusion. It looks like she too wants to explain herself but can't find the words: "A woman's intuition?" I add later, unable to bear with the silence. Luckily I receive a nod of approval from the maid.


No Action!

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Eruda stops her movement as she watches the gods tapping and playing with the music and steps they had created. Eruda had an epiphany moment. Maybe if she could convince everyone her to stand together, show no weakness in any sense, it would make a difference. Show these large creature god things that we all were in this together and that no one would let up till they were dead or done from this plain. 

Eruda finds a oddly place boulder around them and gets up on top of it looking toward the gods and all the players as she swallows hard. "HEY RAIN. WE ARE ALL HEAR BECAUSE WE WERE PROMISED FREEDOM FROM THIS HELL. Death is not freedom. If you kill us all them there will be nothing left. Tell us what you need to get past this violence. Your wish is our command all mighty ones." Eruda came to realize that they were gods. They were resurrecting each other and Rain couldn't die. They seemed to be having a good time but everyone's health was still halved and at any moment, anyone could die from just one hit. Eruda wasn't going to let that happen. Eruda knew that this speech was out of character for her but so was most of everything else for the other players. She knew that something had to give so this was her trying to think outside the box and hopefully make a difference. Eruda couldn't help but tap her foot to the beats going on around her but she was determined to find out what they wanted in return for their lives, to see another day, even if it was in this hell.

After a moment she hops off the boulder and joins next to Kasumi, dancing behind Raidou. She has had a bit of time to memorize the moves so she had little issues keeping pace with them.

ID# 154244 results: Battle: 3 Meh not sure it matters...

HP: 49/49 25/25 | EN: 30/36 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 54 | EVA: 2 | ACC: 2 | BLD: 12 (8-10) | THNS: 28 | LD: 3 | TAUNT | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant 

Edited by Eruda
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Confusion, complete and utter confusion. That was the state Krysta was in. She was unsure of what she should do. The black haired player who was willing to work alongside Krysta pointed out that the cultists may simply be desperate and willing to try anything, rather than misguided...and it was indeed a valid point, a definite possibility. An eldritch portal opened temporarily, causing even more horrors to be let loose onto the battlefield. However, they would be swiftly swallowed up by the portal as it closed, taking the cultists with them. Those who attempted to flex continued so, and they were clearly outmatched. It would seem that someone suggested to dance as a method of "outperforming" the bosses, and players were attempting it at this very moment...but Krysta didn't practice the kinds of organized dances and steps they were doing, for Krysta had practiced more...formal dances, and they would be of no help here. "If only I was certain which course of action to take..." Krysta thought aloud, trying to come up with a method that would get her out of this helpless state.

[Krysta takes no action]

Krysta: HP: 77/77 39/39 | EN: 39/54 | DMG: 15 | MIT: 54 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 2 | THNS: 36 | PRLZ: 1 | BLD: 24 | THNS: 20 | REC: 2 | Antioxidant

 

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