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[F7 - PP] <<Feeding Your Enemy>> "A Rocky Relationship"


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"You wouldn't care less what color it was if it didn't impact how people thought of you."   

His jaw wanted to clench at those words, and let loose a rebuke or retort.  It was quite that accusation from someone who hadn't even realized who he was or what he did, up until two seconds ago.  Which was precisely why Freyd let it pass.  This was just raw emotion and confusion, both of which had spewed forth in abundance since he'd first met Elora.  But it had the added effect of tempering his recent, simple taste of joy.  It would be so easy to drive a dagger into her fragile spirit now, he realized, but Freyd had no such aspirations.  Quite the opposite, in fact.

"Did you really never know?"  His voice was quiet and serene, not sad, but definitely disappointed.  "I never claimed that leadership was a waste of time - those are your words.  Don't pretend to make them mine.  I simply stated that I never sought it.  And if I actually agreed with you, why would I have stayed and helped as I have?"  His head tilted to the side, as if he expected that it would somehow make his reasoning better pierce her wall of rejection, or blame, or whatever this was.

"Of course it's about other people."  He turned away from her, his head still slightly facing in her direction.  "It always has been and always will be."  There was no anger in his voice.

"Whatever you think you know about me, make sure that it includes this: I will do anything to get you all out of here alive.  Anything.  Regardless of the cost.  Even if you all end up hating me for it.  Don't be so quick to judge choices you are not prepared to make yourself." 

At that, Freyd started slowly walking away, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets.  If his presence was unwanted, he would simply go.  He'd been enough people's emotional punching bags of late.  Even though he hardly felt the barbs at all, they still stung.  He'd just long-since grown accustomed to ignoring the pain.

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  ♪  Heaven and Hell  ♪  

 

Elora dug the toe of her boot into the sandy ground as Freyd retorted, arms tightening around herself in an futile attempt to retreat from his words.

"Don't be so quick to judge choices you are not prepared to make yourself." 

The assertion made Elora's heart sink. He's right. Her eyes began to burn as a wave of guilt washed over her, I'm not ready to prioritize helping anyone over helping myself... As Freyd began to walk away from her, Elora could feel her chest tighten and her breathing stagger. She couldn't find the ambition to make herself go after him -- to admit that she was wrong. To admit that she was the broken one.

The truth was that she hadn't been ready to hear the reality of it, especially not from him. Freyd had done so much to help her leave the first floor behind, ensuring that she was safe since the day the two of them had met. And how did she repay him? By calling him selfish and accusing him of having ulterior motives. It wasn't fair of her to threat him that way, even when he insisted that it didn't matter...even if an apology didn't repair the damage that she'd done...

She turned to follow him with an outstretched hand. "Freyd, don't --" Her footing fumbled over a pile of smooth, onyx-colored magnetic stones. That cheeky-- She couldn't be bothered to humor Borris as he circled her feet in search of food. With a gloved hand landing on her friend's shoulder, she managed to regain her balance. "You're right. And I'm sorry...", admitted Elora in a quiet and remorseful voice. Her shaking hand wavered, then settled into a tighter grasp around his shoulder. "It bothers me...that you're willing to do things like this...that you're able to sacrifice your time, your safety, and even your happiness just to make sure that other people don't have to do the same. I don't -- I don't know what I would do...if I gave as much as you and still wasn't appreciated for it...", she took a ragged inhale, indicating that what she was about to say took more courage for her to share, "I feel like my whole life that I tried -- and that it didn't make a difference, because no matter how much I wanted to succeed, no one wanted to help me if I struggled to carry my own weight. No matter what I accomplished, it was never good enough to please the people who expected more from me." By this point, tears were streaming down Elora's cheeks and each sentence was becoming increasingly more difficult for her to utter. "I guess I just -- I'm afraid and I'm angry that I'm expected to owe my help to other people who won't -- who won't appreciate the extra efforts I go through or recognize how far that I've come."

Finally, she released her hand, slowly lowering it until it clasped her opposite forearm. "I don't feel like I'm good enough or strong enough to stand up for other people...and...I'm jealous that you're so much more capable of being a leader than I could ever hope to be..."

 

Spoiler

Taming a Familiar: ID# 169663 CD1 + 1 = 2 Fail (Attempt 2/4)

Edited by Elora
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Freyd stopped when Elora placed her hand upon his shoulder.  She would have felt the tension beneath his clothes.  He was hardly among the biggest or strongest characters in SAO, but his will could carry the weight of burdens well beyond the limits of his lanky, slender frame.  Listening to her words brought back so many joyful memories of time spent with her: tipping Old Pete's boat, a copper rose, watching her clothes get incinerated by by a dragon's rejection, racing down a cascade of waterfalls, or even hauling ass to get away from an insane PKer.  There were many.  His favourite had left a patch of dried drool on his shoulder.

"People have a habit of looking for complicated solutions, where the simple will suffice."  His voice was level and cool, as it often was when she was most stressed.

"I saw you fighting the Spires forces and their trebuchet beneath Cratered Lake, Elora.  You were magnificent.  Whatever expectations I've ever had of you, you have already exceeded them by leaps and bounds.  What you just said confirms it, simply because you were able to say those words out loud."  His head turned again.  She could see the edges of his red-brown eyes watching her from just beneath his cowl.

"I can't speak to the expectations of others, or of you to yourself.  But I know that you're far more capable that you allow yourself to see.  I've always known that."

He turned fully and placed a hand on each of her shoulders, waiting patiently until she lifted her gaze to meet his.  His eyes looked aged and careworn, but an honest smile shone upon his face.

"Never, ever sell yourself short, Elora.  You're way stronger, smarter and better than you think.  You've helped me realize what it means... to feel human.  That's no small feat."  He pursed his lips at the admission.  "Just continue to be you, and I guarantee that it will be appreciated."

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Elora hadn't realized that Freyd had witnessed their fight against the trebuchet and its defenders on that calamitous night. After all, she assumed he'd disappeared from Tanabata entirely after running into her during the evening's anticipated festivities. The circumstances of it all seemed ridiculous to look back on now, but still, Elora regarded the act of defeating four of the guardsmen all at once as one of her proudest accomplishments in SAO. There was something special about being able to share that success and so many other small victories with Freyd. A feeling of contentment began to manifest inside of her, his reassurances giving her hope that she could achieve even greater endeavors, if only she had the confidence to pursue them. 

"You've helped me realize what it means... to feel human" She wasn't entirely sure of what to make of that remark, but maybe, he didn't say it with the intention of being understood. Freyd was an illusive individual who scarcely revealed what he was thinking or feeling. Instead, his approach required her to stitch together the clues of his conscience, almost like he was constructing a trail of bread crumbs that she needed follow if she ever wanted to know the truth. Maybe that's just his way of gaging interest, or something. I don't know, seems more complicated to me than it needs to be. Then again, she had no right to make that claim, given the situation they were currently in. 

"I'll keep you human if you keep me humble", she proclaimed without a second thought. Oh wow -- I actually just said that. He's either gonna think it was clever or extremely cheesy. Either way, Elora couldn't help by chuckle in embarrassment at him having to see her like this -- with tears trickling down her flushed face and the smudge of dirt from earlier still strewn beside one eye. She felt inclined to evade his gaze, but was unsure of how to avoid doing so awkwardly, what with his hands still firmly clasped around her shoulders. Thankfully, Borris provided an opportune outlet, as he had stacked himself into a tower of pebbles to try and reach the pouch of treats resting at Elora's hip. It was rather difficult not to be distracted by his presence, as the structure he'd created wavered and tilted dramatically from every little gust of wind that passed between them. "Guess it's time to give this guy some food, huh?", she joked and sniffled through a smile. "What do you think, do we look like a match made in heaven?"

 

Spoiler

Taming a Familiar: ID# 169667 CD1 + 1 = 2 Goddamnit (Attempt 3/4)

Edited by Elora
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"I'll keep you human if you keep me humble"

He laughed at the comment, raising his hands to her face to wipe away her tears with uncharacteristic tenderness.  Something shone behind his eyes that didn't seem to know how to express itself.  

"You're leaking," he teased, speaking softly.  A smile lingering upon his face as his tone lost some of its mirth.  "And I think you're taking on the tougher job by far with such a promise, but I appreciate the thought.  It's a deal."  Internally, Freyd was in disarray.  The tiny corner of his heart that yearned for growth and release wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Elora to give comfort and feel the warmth of her tender spirit.  But the protective shell he had constructed around that heart still held too much sway.  He also simply didn't know how.  Locking himself away from his feelings for fifteen years carried a price - a heavy debt that would take time to overcome.  At least there was finally a path for it to happen.  Maybe, someday, he could offer her more.

His right hand dropped from her shoulder to take her hand, just to feel her touch for an instant.  His cowl lowering over his eyes to hide the confusion that threatened to show itself.  He let go and took a step back.  She'd fought hard to earn this moment.  

"He's tough as nails and never gives up.  Sounds like a perfect match to me."

 

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After a fleeting handshake to seal the deal, Elora followed Freyd's eyes downward to revere her companion, and this moment, in equal importance. "Alright, little guy, I think you've fought hard enough to earn this", she spoke in a compassionate voice as she crouched down and drew closer to his height. Digging through the small sack of feed, she retrieved a few of the familiar-taming pellets and offered them up to Borris in an open palm. "I hope that if there's anything you can teach me, it's how to stand strong in the face of adversity" It was a rather cliche request, almost akin to one that would be read from a fairytale upon a knight's christening. Nevertheless, it was a sincere wish of Elora's, and she hoped that one day, that they'd be able to see it through. "I'll do my best to look after you, even though I'm fairly certain that you're able to handle yourself"

The magnetic rock golem slid into Elora's hand and enveloped the threats, it's headstone grating against another of it's larger pebbles to grind them into a fine powder before they dissolved into nothingness. "Err...so I guess that's how it eats things? I was always wondering about that. I guess it's a relief that he's able to consume anything at all. Just imagine if we'd spent this much time trying to find him only to find out that his behavior adhered to the laws of digestion from the natural world" It was probably wise that she'd stopped herself from delving into the intricacies and intrigue of animal anatomy.

Borris on the other hand, appeared to rattle with excitement upon commiserating their commitments to one another -- though she wasn't necessarily sure on whether or not he had made any promises to help her. Reforming into a chain, he clambered around her wrist, adopting the appearance of a hefty river-stone bracelet. Sh*t, he's actually a lot heavier than I thought. I'm gonna have to get use to the feeling of constantly lifting weights with this hand if I'm ever gonna be able to carry him. 

Elora lowered her arm and clutched her wrist in a way that allowed her to support the familiar. Although the awkward gesture was made out of a physical necessity to divert the strain of his weight, there was a possibly for it to be misinterpreted as a sign of coyness. 

"Thank you, Freyd. For all of this. I don't know that I ever would have been able to capture Borris without your help. I probably would have ended up dead -- or even worse -- with that stupid dragon as a companion!" Her golem clattered to echo his disdain for the creature. "Geez, can you believe the day is already almost over because of our hike back up here?" It definitely wasn't because of her sleeping in. "We should probably start making our way back to the portal. I guess from there we'll go our separate ways?"

 

Spoiler

Taming a Familiar: ID# 169784 CD12 + 1 = 13 FAMILIAR TAMED (Attempt 4/4)

Edited by Elora
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"I hope that if there's anything you can teach me, it's how to stand strong in the face of adversity"

'You already know how,' Freyd thought to himself, but refrained from speaking out loud.  She didn't need lectures or patronizing comments.  Elora had earned this, the hard way.  That had to be respected.  He watched with silent delight as Borris accepted the food - accepted her - and wrapped himself around her arm.  

"You're welcome, Elora.  I'm proud of you, and happy for both of you."  Brevity seemed best, combined with a soft-spoken sincerity.  Warmth wasn't really his strong suit, but he managed what he could.  Reaching out and opening his hand, he revealed two teleportation crystals.  "It's been an unexpectedly long run.  Why don't we take the shortcut back and spare ourselves enough time for a meal?  Other things that will require my attention, afterwards, but you also know that you can reach out to me anytime... for anything."  He left it there, his insides churning at being so far out of his comfort zone.  Freyd felt his pulse racing without understanding why, taking a deep breath to calm himself and restore his focus.

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A teleportation crystal? Elora hadn't heard of an item like that before. Then again, she rarely ventured out far enough to ever need one. I'll need to buy some of those from his shop in the future. I'm sure they'd come in handy again. "Alright", she agreed with a smile and a nod before accepting the crystal so that the two of them could be on their way.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

   ♪  Refrain: The Treasures of a Dragon  ♪  

 

Elora lackadaisically kicked open the door to her room at The Humming Bard Inn before shuffling over to, then collapsing on, the edge her bed. "Ugh, what a day", she mumbled with her face pressed against the sheets. After sharing a meal over some drinks, Elora had said her goodbyes to Freyd and retreated upstairs for some much needed rest. It wasn't much later before the pub's resident cyberfolk, or whatever it was they called it, band began their rowdy evening rehearsal. Freyd should count himself lucky that he left when he did. Deconstructing himself from his bracelet shape, Borris reformed into his usual golem-like appearance.

"Wellll", began Elora as she rolled onto her side, "This is my humble abode. Home to aspiring indie artists, drunkards who squat in the hallways, and now you -- our very own rock golem. Feel free to get comfortable, there's some water in that pot over there and uhhh, sleep if you want to -- I guess -- I don't know if that's really your thing or not though" Borris had already taken to scuttling around the premise to inspect different decor as she tried to acquaint him with his new surroundings.

With a sigh, she pried herself from the mattress so that she could sit up and change out of her dirty clothes. It was then that she realized she'd completely forgotten to return her skirt, or rather, Freyd's cloak to him. Sh*t. Now I'm gonna have to figure out when to see him next so I can give it back... She took a few moments to inspect it for any blemishes from yesterday's excursions. Only a few fragments of foliage and other small holes stood out from among its dark surface. Still, it was enough to warrant her making some repairs before she handed it over to him. After all, Freyd seemed like the kind of person who would make an active effort to ensure that his clothing was never winkled or tattered when he made an appearance. I'll have to find some way to clean it. Maybe I could take it to a tailor? Well, whatever, I'll worry about it tomorrow. 

il_794xN.1000018156_b09c.jpg.5ce62a01fc9b23e879cab6d6eef17a0d.jpgAs she opened her menu to stow it away, a familiar item caught her eye -- the copper rose Freyd had given her after their first quest together. Oh,  I guess that I must have it set to sort everything from oldest to newest...? I'll have to figure out how to change that later... Her finger hovered over the icon in a moment of hesitation before selecting to summon the item into her hand. She was surprised to see that the patina on its surface had spread to paint more of the flower's copper petals, though she hadn't even interacted with it since that very day. I can't believe that it's been changing this whole time, without me ever really noticing. Removing her gloves, Elora raised her fingers to touch the object while she slowly sunk back to laying in her bed. Borris clambered up her metal vambraces and came to a rest beside the rose, seemingly inspecting its material to assess whether or not it had metallic properties. "Haha, sorry bud. I don't think you'll be able to stick to this one", she consoled before picking him up and placing him on her pillow as she readjusted to rest her head against it. 

"I really hope that we can start to feel at home here...", wished Elora with a hushed voice. "It's probably going to take awhile longer, but...I feel like some of the pieces are finally starting to come together..." At this, Borris appeared to turn to himself and regard all of the chipped and misshapen pebbles that made up his tiny body. Although Elora had a hard time interpreting his expressions, something about the behavior made her feel that he understood exactly what she meant, and possibly, that he was able to comprehend the concept of wholeness better than she was able to. "Anyways...Goodnight", she said with a gentle pat on his headstone. Still clutching the rose, Elora drifted off into sleep with the comfort of knowing that she was now, at least, just a little bit less alone. 

Edited by Elora
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