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[PP-F4] Exhausted


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When Seul opened his eyes the world was noticeably brighter. The new sun had come and with it another day in the floating castle was underway. Whatever sleep had crowded around the man’s eyes was quickly swept away by the strokes of his fingers and with a grunt he managed to finally sit up. Through the tent’s opening he saw only embers remained from the previous evening’s fire. While it was true that few players still stalked these lower floors, it would have been unwise to believe one such as he could be safe anywhere in Aincrad. Not unlike the dying flame, he pondered if he may have only survived the night through pure chance alone.

“Guess I’ll get going then...” 

After getting dressed in his usual attire Seul trekked further into the woods. The job was simple enough; the beloved family dog he was sent to find had last been seen in this area the day before after all. He figured it couldn’t have gotten that far and any extra money the vagrant was able to earn would be welcomed without hesitation. Seul’s whistling echoed through the trees soon after he resumed searching and even startled a nearby flock of birds into taking flight; the pale greatsword in his grasp stood ready to strike in case he was unfortunate enough to attract something less friendly than the wayward canine. 
 

@Mari

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The concept was still foreign to Mari. Having a home - a safe haven, something she still felt she didn't entirely deserve. She had taken too much from this world, and whilst she was doing her best to get by, Mari felt that it wasn't right that she had somewhere safe to spend a night - whilst others were no longer living.  It was one of those rare nights where she had managed to spend the night in her small cottage by one of the many frozen lakes scattered around the 4th floor. Her back hurt as she streteched, having fallen asleep under her Kotasu.

Mari rose her arms high over her head and arched her back. As she heard the satisfying cracks her arms swung to freely hang at her sides once more. For once, she had nothing on today, no questing with Macradon, no material gathering - no trying to ramp up the Col reserves. It felt...weird. 

Mari didn't like it - if she wasn't busy she'd be left alone with her own thoughts.  "I might check out that beefed up Avalanche guy..." Mari said to herself as she opened the door to her home.

"ARF"

Mari blinked. There, sitting on her sheltered porch was a large Siberian Husky. "Err....." Mari lifted her blue eyes to look left then right. There wasn't anyone immediately in the vicinity. "Hey there..." Mari shut the door to her house and tried to shift around the hulking mass of fur.  The husky was having none of that. It followed Mari, off the porch and down past the lake. "What do you want?" She said exasperated as she turned to face the blue eyed canine.

The Husky bumped her hand with his wet nose, sniffing happily. Mari sighed as she knelt down and ran her hands over it's head. The dog was all to ready to receive affection. "Now where did you come from, hmm?" The dog barked happily and licked her freckled face. Mari grimaced. "G-gah no don't do that!"

@Seul

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Despite the incessant calling, his prize never made its presence known. Like the trampled snow beneath his boots, Seul could feel his patience wearing thin and decided to hasten the pace at which he searched.  High, low, behind stumps, and in caves... He walked away from each location with empty hands. The dog was nowhere to be found and, to make matters worse, the conspiracy theorist in him had somehow been convinced along the way that the pet had never been real to begin with. The cynic in him doubted he even knew the meaning of real anymore.

What made something truly “real”? Kayaba seemed to believe it was the constant, looming threat of death and Seul (begrudgingly) agreed with his sentiments. To claim otherwise would dishonor those who had perished in this world. Yet, it was also true that this was a game. Both sick and twisted, but a game nonetheless. All things in Aincrad were mere lines of code. Even their bodies were nothing more than simulacrum; their physical forms lie comatose in the realm beyond their grasps. But real or not, consciousness existed somewhere in between these truths and thinking about the dichotomy plaguing his life often only ended with a headache.

**** **** ****

Circling back for the fourth time, Seul was ready to give up. The dog had either died or managed to evade him long enough to might as well be considered dead. His employer would need to be content with the effort. But just as he began to rehearse his “Bad News” speech, a peculiar sound had soon caused his ears to perk up.

“Barking.”

**** **** ****

Seul wasn’t sure if he appeared to her as non-threatening as he had wanted to be.  The greatsword he wielded was still drawn but pointed downward after he emerged from the tree line. Stopping just short of the pair, the man decided it best to greet them before advancing closer.

“Hope I’m not interrupting something...”

His voice retained its usual even tone, but he didn’t bother to smile. With the mask on it’s not like she would have been privy to it anyway. A closer inspection of her face didn’t gleam any useful information. He didn’t recognize her at all; that much was apparent.

“Your friend there has his family worried sick right now though.”

@Mari

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 "Eh?" Mari looked up at the sound - she saw a tall man approaching who wore a mask which hid his face - he  wore a long cloak and she could see tufts of hair peeking out from under the hood. It was hard to discern any real detail from his appearance, but she supposed that was the point. After all, Hidden kept her appearance under wraps too. Her eyes traveled to the mask, then to the crystal above his head then to the Great-sword that he was holding, it wasn't quite ready to strike - but it was still out, ready to strike. Really? She thought to herself.  Coat, Pker, Mask - and all. Right.  Still, she was trying not to judge on looks alone, that'd be unfair and hypocritical of her. "Ahh - you were searching for it?" Mari stood, picking up the ends of her black scarf she wiped her face clean of any dog saliva residue. "You're not interrupting anything - If I'm being completely honest I'm more of a cat person."

The dog nudged her with his nose and licked her leg. Mari mumbled incoherent words under her breath as she reached out to pat the huskies head. "He's clearly well loved though. Is it yours?" Mari asked the stranger. It was best not to assume after all. He could have been a familiar, or a companion dog to the player.

Mari gestured to his blade, "Ya can probably put that away too - there isn't really much out here to be worried about. Even for PKers." Mari gestured to the small single roomed cottage behind her. "I live here, can confirm the place is practically isolated and barren."

@Seul

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  • 1 month later...

“I was searching for him, yes. Though he isn’t actually mine. I was asked to find him.” 

It was a sweet scene watching the dog’s interaction with her. One that, despite her protests, he was actually ruining. The conscious part of his being had somewhat forgotten the sword was even still drawn until she reminded him. With a simple flourish he sheathed it away and instead folded his arms across his chest to keep them busy.

“My bad… It would seem there’s truth in what you say.” He answered while nodding to acknowledge her own crystal’s color. 

Thick clouds loomed overhead and gentle flakes salted the land. The wind howled past their ears and the dog refused to follow Seul’s callings as he tried to leave. Instead it remained behind the woman; whimpering peering up at her with sad eyes like a child who sought leniency after being caught trying to take a cookie from the jar before dinner. It was commonly believed that animals can tell when bad weather was coming and it wouldn’t have surprised the man if the same was true of the creatures residing in this world.  If the dog did in fact have such a power, trying to move it now could present some issues. Plus, it wasn’t like Seul wanted to make a trip like that either. A chill like no other passed through the swordsman’s bones making him instinctively grip the edges of his coat closer to his body. But the thin cloth of his armor did little to protect against the ever-growing snowfall which showed no signs of slowing down. 

“Looks like a storm is coming. I hate to ask, but might we be able to stay with you until it passes? I will leave my blade outside if it makes you uncomfortable.”

@Mari

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So the dog wasn't his, but he was asked? By a friend maybe? Mari didn't want to assume - but generally...people didn't ask favours of those who had an orange marker. It was nice to see that the climate was changing. That people were more willing to give them a chance. She smiled gently at the man as he apologized and put his weapon away. She was distracted as the dog whined, nudging her hand and licking it again. "G-gah..." Mari lifted up her hand and wiped it on her scarf. "Stop that." She muttered half-halfheartedly . 

"So what's your name?" Mari asked, she didn't think she caught it - he hadn't introduced himself. But, neither had she. "I'm Mari, by the way." The dog was whining again, this time tugging at her scarf as it tried to drag her toward her house. Mari shooed the canine off. She spent a lot of time on the floor, so for her - the chill on the wind and the soft snowflakes were common. She hadn't really had any incline that there could be a storm. It wasn't till the man before her mentioned something. "A what?" She glanced up toward the sky - from what she could see between the treetops - the clouds were thick and heavy. "Oh..oh yeh...that's...uh - and you can't exactly go to town can you?"

Mari furrowed her brow. She was uncomfortable with letting a total stranger in her home. "I uh...ok follow me." She gestured for him to follow as the dog, now seeing they were listening happily trotted alongside her. "I have to admit..." Mari began as she glanced over her shoulder, freckled face showing concern. "I'm a little uncomfortable with inviting a near stranger into my home. But I won't have anyone stuck out there in the storm."  As they arrived Mari opened up her door.

"It's not much, but it's home." Mari said as she gestured to the inside of the small single roomed cottage. "Do you like tea?"

The inside was wooden walls and stone floors, the single room was styled as a living room. Directly opposite them was a small table; enough to fit two if they were to squish together - a place for her to eat.  To the right; a roaring fireplace, there was a place to put a pot to cook food, but the hook was currently empty. The floor before the fireplace looked like it had been draped in a few different indescribable animal skins. In front of the fireplace were two chairs facing opposite each other; made from a rich red velvet, adorned in pillows.  There was also a small mirror on the left hand wall, round without trimming.

To their immediate left, right by the window was a small corner that looked like it didn't quite belong in the room - cobble floor fell away to a light tatami mat - and atop that sat a Kotasu table. It's surface made of a wood that had been stained a golden brown. The surrounding material, thick and plush made of black. Atop the table sat a small ornate teapot - painted with the images of the 'Great Wave of Kanagawa' and beside around it four matching cups.

"I don't really have much in terms of food, sorry about that."

@Seul

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"My... Name?"

    In all the excitement, he glossed over such pleasantries. There was no denying it was a bad habit the swordsman had developed at some point as most conversations never went so far for it to matter. He felt foolish.  But embarrassment, among many other things, was easily concealed when one wore a mask. 

"It's Seul."

    This Mari was an odd character. Her softer appearance, cordial demeanor, and interactions with the husky portrayed a warmth that nearly made the man forget he stood boots deep in snow. Yet, she sported an orange crystal and chose to live far removed from others. The dichotomy fascinated him to no end. Prying into the pasts of others was not something he desired, however. People change. Sometimes for the better.  Looking back only prevents one from seeing their future, a fact he learned the hard way.

    Seul would nod as he followed Mari to the door merely to show he was listening. Already weary of him, he figured speaking now might have only served to aggravate her. She was helping him after all, and there was no point in ruining that by waging an uphill battle to advocate his trustworthiness.

"You're already doing so much. There's no need to let us put you out any further than we already are." He replied with a raised palm.

    Their four-legged friend would be first to enter and quickly claim a spot beside the fireplace. Despite Mari's protests, the cottage seemed like more than enough to satisfy a cave-dweller with no home of his own. Seul unclipped the strap that kept both sword and scabbard close to his form once he passed the threshold, placing the sheathed weapon against a wall in one of the room's corners. He would then take a seat at the kotatsu.

"So, do you get many visitors?" It was a dumb question, but for the sake of small talk, one the man asked anyway.

@Mari

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Mari turned to the man, Seul. Right. "Well." She offered him a faint smile, freckled cheeks rosy from the cold. "I may not have much in terms of food - but I always have a warm cup of tea to offer guests." Mari stepped into her home, but was almost bowled over by an over enthusiastic dog; who pushed past both Mari and Seul. Bumping Mari into Seul and lumbering to the fire. The large dog barked happily as he rolled onto his back, making a mess of the sheepskin rug.  "Oof.." Mari placed a hand on his chest, pushing herself  back up. That was...frustrating. 

"S-Sorry." Mari said as she quickly brushed herself down, shifting further away from him as she gestured to the kotatsu in the corner. "Please, take a seat, it'll warm you up. Now - what kind of tea would you like? I have a royal milk tea, a milky matcha blend - Earl Grey. Or chamomile." Normally she didn't have such a large selection, but today was one of the days she had.  Was it weird to offer such a thing to him? Mari coughed, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Is that weird?" She asked nervously. "I just ...usually offer it to my guests...I uh." She quickly answered his question. "I kinda do, I guess. I find a lot of people seek me out for err... help or advice." She lowered her gaze, staring at her feet, shoes removed - she wriggled her toes, which were encased in white socks. "I dunno why they come to me of all people though."

@Seul

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With raised fingers, he gently raked the back of his neck. Only now had Seul realized how starved he had been for the touch of another person after all this time spent in solitude. Even something as incidental as this woman bumping into him now had managed to cause a spike in his heart rate. Pathetic, some might say. Though, he found the notion funny as those same people likely would have jumped long ago if faced with a fraction of the horrors this game had placed him through. A faked cough would be all he offered on the matter as Mari pushed herself away. 

At the kotatsu, Mari took to offering him something to drink again. Part of him debated having a cup just to put her at ease. The other half knew that wasting it would likely insult the woman more than not taking anything at all, though. It was a tough decision to put things mildly. 

"It's not weird... Honestly, I wouldn't know which to choose. Hot cocoa has always been more my speed." He'd say while sheepishly removing his mask and casting it to the floor.

Watching her as she spoke then a glance around her home, it was clear as day. Mari was easy to talk to and looked as though she had this whole living thing sorted out somehow. Two traits that made her an outlier in an otherwise bleak and hopeless world of wayward souls. Seul had seen time and time again that those who stood out in Aincrad were the ones who often attracted the most attention, both good and bad. If one's flame dimmed, they would find kindling from an already roaring fire. Or, in his case, others might attempt to douse the fire completely so that they alone may burn brightest.

"Well, you seem down to earth and reliable enough. Finding someone who happens to be both is a rarity these days."

@Mari

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Seul coughed to clear his throat, and Mari paid the action no mind - she often did the same when she felt awkward- or if she wanted to break a silence she felt was droning on way too long. "hot Cocoa...." Mari repeated his request with a small frown. Mari didn't really keep such a thing. She wasn't super fond of overly sweet tasting things; and most of the time cardinal made hot chocolate far too sweet. "I don't have something like that." Mari said as she turned to watch him try to work himself under the Kotatsu. She lifted a hand to hide an amused grin. He was tall, and broad - and seeing such a figure worm their way beneath a heated table...you had to admit, it was kinda funny.  "I suppose with all the guests I've been getting lately...I probably should." She said to herself, making a mental note to herself. 

Mari shifted to the fireplace, leaning down to run a hand over the Husky's head. The big, lumbering dog made a sound between a bark and a low satisfied rumble before he flopped onto his side. Well, this was a strange turn of events. Mari never expected to have a large dog in her home. Standing up straight Mari adjusted her scarf, pulling it further away from her face and neck as she approached the Kotatsu. "Well, in that case I'd reccomend the Royal Milk Tea - it's a little sweeter, but I won't be amiss if you didn't take any." Mari said as she joined him at the Kotatsu.

Mari was careful to slide her feet, just her feet in - letting them swing to the side - so Seul had more room if he needed. The last thing she needed to do was accidentally kick a stranger in the knee or shin. Now sitting opposite Seul, Mari offered him a cautious smile as she opened up her inventory, pulling out the pot of tea. Mari reached forward and grabbed a cup; pouring herself one. She had yet to pour him one till his answer, so instead she placed the small ceramic pot in the center of the table.

"You..." Her brows furrowed when he said she seemed down to earth and reliable, she'd have blushed - if she wasn't so confused. "You... have no idea who I am, do you?" Mari said.

@Seul

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"I'm fine then." With his fears of offending her alleviated and decision made, Mari produced a teapot to prepare a cup for herself.  

As they spoke, Seul couldn't help but grow more and more perplexed by the woman's question. Was this not their first time meeting? Had he seen her somewhere along the way? It was possible. Though, if that did happen, he had no memory of it being noteworthy. Was she famous? He didn't know. But the silence filling the cottage was starting to mound and become palpable. Faces and names blended in his mind as he recalled the ever-rising number of people who came and went in his life. Clearly, she was someone with a past. But then again, who wasn't?  

"...Should I know who you are?" He asked in return.

His eyes would drift away from her and to the husky beside the crackling fire. On its side, he could see the beast's stomach rise and fall in a hypnotic rhythm as it drifted between consciousness and sleep. Though they say it's a dog's life, Seul wouldn't have minded trading places with him at that moment.

"Regardless of who you might be, what matters most is who you want to become from this moment forward."

@Mari

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Mari took a sip of tea; enjoying the feeling of the heat rushing down her throat and leaving a heated trail to sit inside her stomach. He didn't have anything to drink, but Seul didn't seem to mind. His dark, thick brows raised in curiosity when she questioned him. So he really didn't know. Here was another marked player sitting before her - a near stranger in her home. Another player who didn't know her notoriety. Who sat comfortably in her home and didn't see her as 'Mari the Pink PKer' Didn't know of the outlandish rumours - that far outweighed what she really did. If he had known, would his answer change?

"N-no." Mari said quietly. "I suppose - it's best that you shouldn't." She offered him the faintest of smiles -one that hid the exhaustion she bore - the weight of it all. "You're right - death is a heavy duty, and burden." Mari gestured to his own crystal.  "We can't change the past - but we can work towards ensuring others don't meet that same fate - we can save people. I uh..." she fell quiet, she probably sounded stupid right now. She didn't have the same flowery and strong way with words as Baldur, nor the charisma of Oikawa. 

"I want to become someone that guides others, especially those that feel like they have no one to turn to - but I guess..." She started to tug on her hair. "I guess that sounds pretty silly, huh?"

@Seul

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  • 4 weeks later...

It seemed his words had reached her, as he hoped they would. Despite knowing nothing of the woman who sat before him, he didn’t care. Everything he’d seen thus far pointed toward her being a good person. Or at the very least, not being a cold-blooded murderer. 

“Not at all. It’s rather admirable actually.”

As someone who wandered the world void of any real purpose, people like Mari served as a reminder of the great things one could accomplish with enough determination. Serving as a guide for the people was a noble goal, and one Seul could get behind. Though,  he was curious just how the woman would set about accomplishing a thing many before her had tried and failed.

“But that being said, only one thing separates a dream from a goal: A plan. I’m assuming you have one?”

She was undoubtedly aware of how orange players were viewed and the various stigmas that existed against them. And what of those who didn’t believe they could be saved? Was she willing to kill again if someone were to oppose her goals? There was a fine line between being a leader and a tyrant. Which path she’d walk in the end, he could only speculate about.

@Mari

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Admirable? No....Mari didn't think so. Selfish, and foolish maybe. But not admirable.  Mari's eyes lowered to her cup, staring at the milky liquid inside. she shifted on her spot under the Kotatsu, the warmth the table provided prickling her skin. "I've just spent a long time holed up somewhere - alone. I know first hand how hard it is, the rumours that come from having an orange cursor. The hatred. Even in the real world murderers are given a chance at redemption."

Mari cleared her throat. What was she trying to say? "I don't want others to experience what I have. as for a goal, well...."  Mari tilted her head to the side. Thinking of the others. Of Baldur, Shield, Oikawa...A small smile crept across her lips. "Yeh. I suppose its some sort of a plan. I'm in a guild with a few others. Called Jacobs Ladder." Mari rose her eyes to meet Seul's dark gaze. She rose a hand to press to her chest.  "I'm a pillar, and what we want is to guide players - and work on climbing the 'ladder' and get everyone else out of here."

Again, Mari felt like she was sounding corny and awkward. She lowered her hand to the table and tapped it. Mari wasn't sure she was fit to be a leader; but - she had the backing of the others. Baldur himself; had told her he would be her biggest cheerleader, and the thought of that warmed her more than the table ever could.

"What about you?" Mari asked as she shifted her gaze from Seul to the big dog rolling around in front of the fire. "Not many would casually be wandering around returning dogs to their lost owners. Whilst its nice it's..." What could she say that didn't seem rude? "It seems like busywork. Just a distraction, far be it from me to judge what one does with their time but..."

Mari regarded him. Tall, strong, and broad. His forearms taught with muscles that told of years of training and disipline. "It doesn't really seem like something you'd do, just from looking at you I mean."

@Seul

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  • 10 months later...

It took a great deal of restraint for the man to not cringe at the word “guild”. He harbored no ill will toward KoB, or any other guild for that matter.  Still, Seul understood just how troublesome such organizations could be. Since Opal’s betrayal and Mack’s disappearance he had avoided them like the plague. 

“To be honest I’d rather be up there.” He pointed toward the ceiling, but referred to the lands far beyond it. 

“It’s funny, I’ve stood on the frontlines twice now, but it only seems like I get left behind every time I show up.”

The truth was a bitter pill to swallow. His gaze shifted as he spoke, if only to keep Mari from seeing the sadness he carried. Though he had worked hard to get this far, his efforts still weren’t good enough. Seul had always lagged behind the rest of the frontline, and it had just become another thing he learned to accept. But years of inadequacy had broken something in the man. So, after abandoning all he once sought, he took on the content life of a drifter. At least that’s what he told himself while lying awake in bed at night. The real word he knew too well: Apathetic. A sickening numbness that had already taken its toll long before Seul even realized it was there. He was no hero, but instead a victim in a world made only of victims. It didn’t make him special. Busywork was all that remained for one who was trapped in an average purgatory.

“I envy you; I really do. Having a reason to keep going is… Necessary. If you wanna stay sane, anyway. I guess this is my way of looking for that reason.”

@Mari

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