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[F1-PP] Loss of Control «TFFLAF»


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Kagami strolled around the Town of Beginnings, taking advantage of the ever-growing silence of the settlement and the cloudy skies that broke apart every so often to provide pillars of sunlight. Her movement was wobbly and unsure as her mind was elsewhere, and her figure changed form to a variety of different individuals as she absentmindedly used «Disguise» over and over again.

The young woman was still processing the events from a couple days before when she had fought and killed her Gemini and figuring out what she had in store for the future of Aincrad. Kagami noticed the posters floating in the wind and remembered the joy that so many players had felt from the news of successful floor boss raid after successful floor boss raid ages ago. The stories of various frontliners crept into her mind; the veterans and the mainstays, the newcomers and hotshots, and the various scandals between the members that has ultimately brought their orchestrations to a mostly screeching halt. Willpower and strength. Kagami believed that the first component was trivial, she had already proved her unwavering determination which led her to use the abnormally strong, beginner-friendly healing potion to defeat one of the easiest fights she would have yet. Yet, the power and strength needed to change the world felt constantly out of reach and as advancing towards it made it seem more elusive every passing moment.

She let out a heavy sigh. After the death game announcement was made and, for the better part of five years, Kagami felt in control of her own life. But now, she felt as if she had willingly given up control by choosing to fight her Gemini. The void in her chest from when she fought her Gemini continued to fester slowly invading the rest of her body and thoughts. It wasn't uncommon that she needed to lie down to stop her head from spinning. Or for the everpresent brain fog and dull headache to disrupt anything remotely close to leisure. Or her body burning up and freezing at the same time for no apparent reason. Or the feeling of being constantly out of breath while her lungs were still full of air. She would love to blame it on Cardinal, yet Cardinal had nothing to do with it. Anxiety, panic attacks, the constant stress that doesn't cease even while she sleeps. Those were the root of the symptoms, and the root of those was Kagami herself. Kagami felt as if she was thrusted back into the same endless positive feedback loop that she thought had ended once the death game started.

The mask she wore for herself had cracked underneath the pressure that she had put onto herself. She felt as if she had a complete loss of control over her life. Kagami unwittingly pitted up the determination to fulfill the vow that she swore against her desire to give up and submit to the loss of control. Neither contradictory or mutually exclusive as she could live with both, but the latter impeded the former. She desperately wished to give up, but life would continue to go on without her and would eventually crush her. "I need to seize the fate with my own hands... but-"

 

Spoiler

Level: 8 <> Max HP: 160 <> EN: 16 <> Base DMG: 3 (with Rapier) <> Savvy: 1 <> Evasion: 1

Equipment:

- Vanity Rapier

- Rare Light Armor (Savvy 1 <> Evasion 1)

Battle Ready Inventory:

- 3 Starter Healing Potions (Heals 50 HP)

Skills:

Skill Slot 1: Rank 2 Rapier

Skill Slot 2: Empty

Skill Slot 3: Empty

 

@Nian

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She'd never seen a sorrier sight than that.

As the Emperor, she'd been keen to watch the rowdy masses charge through each day as though nothing mattered. Atypical beasts. They spurred themselves on with a fervor that even the mightiest rulers could respect and admire. Nian was no different in the face of adversity.

Of course, observing the crowds meant that she'd also pick up on the worst of the commoners -- the ones that seemed so lost and broken that it physically hurt to watch them shift. The player grimaced as her eyes caught sight of this one. Was that <<Disguise>> being abused over and over again? A sore spot in the middle of the Town of Beginnings! It could almost move a lesser king to tears.

Awful. Her jaw locked, teeth gnashed together. A pult towards the ground with her own giant frames -- they disappeared once her footing was found, the woman picking herself up from her landing. Large strides over to the unidentifiable form. Nian gripped what she thought was the other player's shoulder, only grasping for their other limbs when she couldn't find any other hold on their form, and shook them gently.

Cardinal wouldn't like that if she continued.

Her voice was low, grumbly. Almost offended. "What in the hells is wrong with you...?"

 

 [[ N I A N ]] 
u4hv3oR.png
NIAN | HP: 20/20 | EN: 2/2 | DMG: 1 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 1 | MIT: 18 | REGEN: 5 | LD: 3
Spoiler

   equipment 

  • Heaven's Decree
    • +2 ACC
    • +1 EVA
  • Red Omamori
    • +3 LD
  • Fur-Hooded Down Jacket
    • + 18 MIT
    • + 5 REGEN

   br.inventory 

  • Roosevelt
    • + 12 BLEED [8+]
    • + PARALYZE

   skills 

Spoiler
  • -

   buffs 

Spoiler
  • -

 

@Shin Kagami

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  • 2 weeks later...

Kagami was still lost in thought and absentmindedly flipping through random forms when the other player approached her. She flinched as the stranger began to impose themselves onto her and when their grip eventually found her upper arms. “What in the hells is wrong with you…” As Kagami reflexively spun around to face the intervening player, she activated her only extra skill and «Disguised» herself as the stranger. Kagami stared at the person in front of her for a few seconds. While their appearance couldn’t be more identical, the expressions they wore couldn’t be more different.

Nian wore a piercing glare. Surrounding her was an air of active dominance and the utmost confidence to execute and achieve that will. It seemed that Kagami’s mere existence was an annoyance and eyesore to her. That Kagami would be far below the acknowledgement of Nian if she hadn’t continued to use «Disguise» absentmindedly. An implicit and subtle hint of disgust as if to say, “Who are you to show yourself like this in front of me?”

Nian’s mirror opposite, or rather Kagami disguised as Nian, was disheveled. Strands of black hair covered her face and eyes and her body was tilted backwards in preparation for what felt like an inevitable blow. Her eyes widened and darted between Nian and random passerbys, NPCs and players alike, silently pleading for help and forgiveness. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, as the words she desperately sought to defuse the situation failed to materalize. The air of confidence and endless indulgence that Kagami had experienced just a few days ago had gone with the wind.

The eternity of a few seconds didn’t last forever, as she turned willed her Disguise skill to deactivate. Her whisper was as silent as the wind that flowed through the Town of Beginnings. “I- I’m sorry.”

@Nian

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In the same way the stranger's visage was torn apart and fraying at the seams, so too was their impression of something that seemed to resembled her. Long, black hair, a recognizably tainted face -- if Nian hadn't looked too close, the player's image would've been spitting of one of the commoners she knew from out of Aincrad. The king winced, but only for a moment, retracting her grip from the strange alteration. Then, as quickly as the apparition was formed, it disintegrated, data chipping away at reality to return to the original form of the broken beast.

Awful. The woman could taste poison on that apology, intentional or not.

"I see," Nian bled through gritted teeth. In a flash, that hand returned to the other player's wrist, the monarch almost pulling the stranger along with a tug. "Well, 'sorry' doesn't cut it."

If she had gotten a chance to drag her victim along the streets, the ruler would've started to move, by now. "The way I see it, you need a vantage point from a higher perspective. Be thankful, commoner -- a lesser king would've left serfs like you to rot."

@Shin Kagami

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  • 2 weeks later...

As Nian’s hand disappear from their side, Kagami steeled herself expecting some form of physical punishment. She closed her eyes in anticipation, ready to accept what came righfully came her way. It’s okay… I won’t feel any pain here.

But all Kagami felt was a small tug forwards and her legs beginning to walk by themselves as she trailed behind the mysterious stranger. "The way I see it, you need a vantage point from a higher perspective. Be thankful, commoner -- a lesser king would've left serfs like you to rot." They took off, king and commoner like a parent and child. The leader imposed themselves on the follower, while the commoner submitted themselves to the whims of the leader.

She couldn’t decipher the other player’s puzzling words. Her mind began to fill itself with questions about who the other player is and what their intentions were. Why did she call me a commoner and a serf?… What did she mean a higher perspective?… Why would anyone truthfully concern themselves with me? None of these questions were ever spoken aloud. They were things she would have liked to know, but none of them were things she expected Nian to divulge or answer truthfully. All that mattered at the moment was a single burning question. “Where are you taking me?”

@Nian

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"千里之行,始於足下."

It was most likely a foreign tongue to the stranger, had the Nerve Gear not decided to translate it accurately. It didn't matter to Nian, however; her associate would know the meaning of her words soon enough.

The woman dragged the other to a familiar renown spot in the corner of the Town of Beginnings. Their travel time was short, for their destination was prominent, and all residents on the first floor were liken to have mapped out the different shortcuts of the city in their head by now. She let go of the commoner once they were at the building's front step. With a hard push of the door, it swung open; Nian merely shoved the other player into its confines with a strong force, barely short of calling upon Aincrad's security systems to their location.

She joined the woman inside. Shut the door behind them and rested her back against it. The gauntlets that forged upon her fists were to signify business, as the emperor folded her arms across her torso, watching the ingrate flounder around in Zackariah's shop. With a finger, she gestured over to the alchemist.

"A young woman steps into a store," she narrated, piercing gaze tracking the other player's movements. "It just so happens that today, the shopkeeper had run out of materials to continue crafting potions for his stock. Though it was but a few moments ago she had lumbered around in dissatisfaction, it is only today -- today -- that she will find herself a new purpose."

"For that should be the way of an arbiter."

@Shin Kagami

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