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(PP-F8) Chinchilla Scouting <<Feeding the Enemy>>


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Fae watched the three rivers meeting swirl for a bit longer before getting back up and walking across the bridge with Eatos. The way the colors lined up together and mixed in such a pretty way just kept Fae fascinated, much like any small child would be. Eatos said that the rivers back home were frozen over a lot and Fae patted Eatos's arm as she walked. "That sorta stinks, but at least you got to see rivers. Fae lived in the big city, so Fae never really saw a river." Fae said, hoping to make Eatos feel better about her view of rivers. Fae petted Angel's back again before looking up at Eatos. "Why did you choose the name Angel mommy? Pin already told you about Trixie, so Fae wants to hear Angel's story." Fae asked, pointing at the husky.

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The girl said nothing about Fae’s river comment. She herself was born and raised within London, but after her incident, Silver had taken care of her. His house had a lake nearby that she would often visit, for worse more than better. She smiled sadly at the memories that plagued her, that would truly never leave her.

“I always saw a…beauty in ice, how pure it was” she said quietly, more to herself “How things would just, stop….”. The girl allowed her mind to take her, before hearing Angel bark. The Husky had noticed, and rested her head in the girls lap. “Why did I pick, Angel? Back in the real world, I had a Husky. I called him Gluttony, since when I first saw him, he ate three bowls of food” the girl smiled softly at the memories of when she first saw the blue-eyes puppy wagging its tail at her “Coming here, I knew I wanted another Husky….But, this one, would be redemption…” Eatos let out a sigh “In the real world, I’d made…a lot of mistakes, some rather sever. Angel is, the piece of my life that I managed to keep, much like how Gluttony was…”

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Fae still didn't understand what Eatos meant by how pure ice was, with it sounding more complicated to Fae than it really was. To Fae, ice was pretty sure, but Fae only saw it as that. Eatos answered Fae's question by saying that this husky would be her redemption, with her first husky being named Gluttony because of how much he ate. "Gluttony and Angel huh. Fae had a corgi named Stoj in the real world, named after one of my friends. Every name has a backstory to it, at least that's how it seems. My parents named me Fae because a fae is what you call a fairy. Now Fae is debating changing the name idea for the chinchilla. Trixie doesn't have much story behind it." Fae said, pondering on her thoughts as she walked through the path past the bridge.

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The girl listened to Fae talk about back home, having a pet. Even Fae seemed to be a name from her parents. It seemed, everything had a root, deep within ones self. She knew it, but often hated to admit it. Eatos let out a soft smile at the other girl as Angel barked, walking right next to the smaller girl as if acting as a shield for her. Eatos rolled her amber eyes, of course Angel would do this.

“Names, are….like titles” she finally said “Often times, there is a story behind them, and that’s all people see” The girl felt something in her chest, pain. “Sometimes, it’s good to make the name have meaning, over having meaning already” Gods above knew she’d of preferred that in her own life. But titles were all people saw, the title that had followed her. She shook her head! Dammit now was not the time!

“Trixie, is there a story there Fae?” She asked, unable to stop. She needed to not get stuck in her own head, not now of all times!

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Fae nodded her head in agreement with Eatos when she said that it was better to make meaning for names rather than having a preset meaning in place. "Yeah, it gives it more value when you make the name. Although a fae is a pretty hard definition to hide. Fae likes her name, it's cute." Fae said as she started to skip alongside Angel. After she finished talking, Fae noticed that something seemed off about Eatos. Then she asked what the story behind Trixie was and Fae shuddered a little bit. Fae would have been glad to answer if it weren't for the way Eatos was being odd. But Fae wanted to tell the truth, so she did. "Well, miss Trixie is a... was a player in this game that Fae met about a year ago. Miss Trixie was crazy, and she tried to kill Fae, but Fae got her first. Fae wanted to name her familiar after Trixie because Fae still feels guilty about killing her. Please don't tell mister Stryder, he would hate Fae for killing someone. It was after Fae killed Trixie that Fae stuck to talking in third person. If Fae told herself she was fine, then she was fine! Fae isn't crazy right mommy? Right!?" Fae asked, looking up at Eatos with a mix of nervous and crazed eyes. Telling the story of the Trixie incident always got Fae like this.

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Trixie, wasa player. Fae had killed? Despite the news, Eatos had no reaction that Fae could see. Her mind was reeling, but nothing else changed. Even her heartbeat remained the same, a constant beating in her chest. Her amber eyes watched the other girl slowly unhinge, and honestly, sadly so. She knew that look in Fae’s eyes. She hated it. It was the same look she had once.

“Fae…” she said, trying to find the right word. She knew what the other girl was going through, sadly, too well. “You’re not crazy” The girl sat down, Angel seemingly unaware of the conversation and running around chasing her own tail.

“Taking another life, it’s hard. You’ll never forget it, even when you know it wasn’t your fault, or that there was nothing you could do” The girl said, repeating words once said to her by a close friend “But I understand what you’re doing through…We, share the same sin” She confessed. She hadn’t wanted to tell the girl, but maybe, by letting her know, she wouldn’t feel so alone?

“Back in the real world, i….i had errors, and I got people killed, and i…I killed people. I didn’t want to, but it just…happened” The girl look into Fae’s eyes, her amber eyes seemingly dull as she recalled her personal sin “I promise this stays between us Fae. It isn’t your fault”

She wasn’t sure if she was getting through to the other girl, but she had to try. Her only ‘saving grace’ was she was 16, she was an adult. Fae was a child….No, she wasn’t even that. She was a kid that was barely holding together.  

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Fae's eyes started to water up as Eatos told her that she wasn't crazy. Fae had been expecting her to lash out and get mad, but this wasn't the case at all it seemed. Eatos had also killed a few people apparently, which surprised Fae quite a bit. Eatos said that it wasn't Fae's fault that she killed someone, but Fae shook her head before bursting into tears. "But Fae didn't have to kill her! Fae could have just ran, but Fae got scared. Now she's dead and it's all Fae's fault!" Fae exclaimed, backing away from Eatos a few feet. Fae was losing it, but she saw how Eatos was trying to help, so Fae wiped her tears and put her usual fake smile back on. "You're right mommy, Fae shouldn't worry about it! It already happened, so Fae should just stay happy." Fae said in a cheerful tone, before hugging Eatos. Fae was unstable enough, and she didn't want anyone else to deal with her problems.

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The girls heard went out for Fae. There was nothing she could do, really, to help her. And yet, Fae was here depending on her. Could she honestly do this? She doubted it. She was no parent, and had never wanted to be.  This ‘motherhood’ of Fae was far from anything that she had been prepared for. She pulled the smaller girl into a hug, Angel looking around rather confused. The familiar, for all her intelligence, was just that, a familiar. What Eatos would give for the dog to be capable of talking.

“It’s fine Fae” she said calmly “It isn’t your fault, I promise” Eatos knew that the younger girl blamed herself, as she did herself when she had claimed lives of her own. “The past is just that, the past. Changing the present, is impossible. All the past does is change how you view the future” She wasn’t sure how to help Fae, not properly. But ensuring the other girl felt safe, and cared for, should be enough. Hopefully.

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The more Eatos told Fae that it wasn't her fault, the more that Fae felt like it actually was her fault. "Shut up." Fae said, before covering her mouth instantly. "Fae didn't mean that, just... stop talking about it. You're just guilting Fae at this point." Fae said, crossing her arms and turning away, refusing to make eye contact with her. Fae was having what most kids had, a tantrum. Eatos told her that changing the past is impossible and the past only changes how we view the future, and Fae's fake smile grew a bit bigger. "Yeah, Fae tries to forget the past a lot, both the real and virtual lives. You know what, forget what Fae said about you being mommy. You don't deserve that pain. It's as Fae's mom once said, 'If only I had protection, then we would all be happier'. Fae plans on doing the same with mister Throsten, Fae doesn't need parents in this world." Fae said, her crazed eyes returning without the nervousness.

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Eatos felt a stab in her chest, and it was pain. Right through her heart. She had one job, protect the members of her guild, protect the people who needed her. And she’d failed. She could tell the smile of Faes face was fake. Could smell it from a mile away, and it hurt her more than she thought possible. And the guilt, at no longer being the parent. She was thankful for it, and hated that despite it all, that it had happened.

She opened her mouth, but had no idea what to say. She had never been that good at this, that had been Silver. She had wanted to care for others, and yet, here was someone needing help, and she had no idea what to do.

“I’m sorry” she said simply, unsure what to do. If only Silver was here…. “We share the same burden Fae. I know what you’re going through, I know how it feels. I promise you Fae, this is not a path you want to walk down alone" 

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Fae still couldn't bring herself to look back at Eatos, even if she was trying to help out Fae, it still just didn't make the feelings go away. "Fae knows that we share the same burden, but you have an advantage. No one can tell that you took a life. For Fae, just one look at the monument and there goes it all." Fae said, looking around the forest. There was still no sign of a chinchilla, and at this point, Fae didn't even want to be reminded of what she did. Eatos said that this wasn't a path Fae should walk down alone, but she shook her head and finally looked back at her. "Fae doesn't want to, but maybe it's better if Fae does. Definitely better than dragging you and the rest of the guild down. But if a time comes to where Fae's mind is gone, just put Fae out of her misery okay?"

ID: 99721 LD: 4 (Failure)

@Eatos

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No one could tell? The girl would have shaken her head, but there was no point. So many people did know, that’s what had caused Silver to find her. He’d read it in the paper, hell she’d reach national headlines. It had destroyed her confidence and her will to live. She had nearly taken her own life back then…She took a deep breath. She couldn’t focus on that, she had to think about the present. The past was the past, a possible tapestry of the future if one did not learn.  

She was, still worried about the guild? To a degree that would make sense. She could see the guild serving as a catalyst, something to allow her to see the ‘real’ world. But then, if that was the case… Her brain cut itself short listening to the last part. Put her out of her misery? She knew what Fae was thinking. Only a few years ago, she had asked the same damn thing.

“My store has a backdoor, there is a key in a lockbox to open it. If you get in trouble, you’re welcome to come and make yourself home” She offered. What more could she do, when something as simply as words failed her?

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Fae still tried her best to look happy, but it was no use. Fae had gotten herself upset, and now she couldn't pretend to be happy. Eatos offered Fae a place to go if she got in trouble, but Fae just shook her head and sighed. "Thank you, but Fae couldn't stay with you if she got in trouble. You and everyone else would want Fae dead, especially mister Stryder." Fae said, declining Eatos's offer. Fae took a deep breath in and then let it back out. They were heading deep in the woods now, and Fae could hardly tell where they had come from. "Fae is still glad to spend time with you miss Eatos, you're really nice. But maybe we could change the subject. Like uh... when did your chest start growing? Fae can't wait to get hers." Fae asked, squeezing one of them while trying to change the subject.

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Would want her dead? Eatos felt a sting through her chest. There were only a few people, in the world, she wanted dead. It was a thought that rarely crossed her mind, ever since her actual taking of lives. She had strided to be better, to be more aware. And sadly, because of that, she understood Fae. She understood where the girl was coming from, why she believed what she did, even if Eatos believed it to be wrong.

“Very well” Fae didn’t want to talk about it, and Eatos didn’t want to plague the other girl much “My…chest?” She frowned, a little taken aback by the way this conversation went. She looked down. Unlike a lot of girls her age, her chest hadn’t developed much before when she was 16. Although Fae saying she couldn’t wait, Eatos let out a slightly amused smile. She had a lot waiting for her, and a lot of it wasn’t that fun “It started when I hit puberty, I was around 13 when it all started for me, only a little older than you are now”

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