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[PP-F1] Falling With a Trail of Tears (Lowenthal)


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It was a rainy, dark day. A perfect atmosphere for Shizuka's mood. Her life was over. Her life and sanity were hanging by a thread. How had it all begun? How had Shizuka been changed from an active, nice girl into who she is at the moment? What had caused such a dramatic change? What has made Shizuka's heart dark and full of disgust? It all began on a dark night on the fourth floor where an unspoken misfortunate had occurred that managed to scar Shizuka for life. There was no way for her to imagine as if he event had never happened because of how much impact it had in her life. Shizuka had broken up with Greg because of it and ever since that had happened, Shizuka had not talked to him.

And it was a friend checked off from her list

What happened next took place over a long period of time. Ever since she joined the Azure Brigade, she had lost many friends due to the fact that she was in such an unpopular yet powerful guild. It was as if they thought that Shizuka had everything fed to her... As if they were jealous that she had been carried by so many different players of the Azure Brigade. Still, this was definitely not the case. Shizuka had worked her butt off in an attempt to gain as much Skill Points so she could become the most influential healer in the game.

And it was a few more friends checked off her list

Also, those that she considered friends were not truly her friends. Who were they? Were they truly friends? Were they there when she needed them? Were they able to communicate with her when she was in times of need? Oh wait, during her time of needs, she had no one to talk to... No one that could comfort her. No one that could relief her from her struggles and conflicts. It was then that she realized that most of her 'friends' were truly not friends.

And it was the rest of the friends checked off her list

Since the beginning of the game, Shizuka had wanted to be the best. She wanted to be the best healer in the game, the best support there ever was. Since the beginning, she had done her best to do as many quests and help as many people as she could. However, first, Zandra obtained a unique and it broke her heart into two. Second, Ebony obtained a unique and it broke her soul in two. Finally, Ariel, someone that Shizuka thought of as a friend gave the unique to someone that Shizuka had heated competitions with and even though Shizuka had more Skill Points and worked harder, Ebony was thought of as the better healer simply because she had that healing unique. Indeed, that was the last straw as it broke Shizuka's two halves of hearts even more. Now, she was possibly the worst healer in the game. The worst support player, useless, filthy, depressed. Who would choose her as a healer when Zandra and Ebony both had unique? No one. 

And it was herself checked off her list

Death only results in a new life. And hopefully, a better life. Shizuka thought as she looked past at the void that laid beyond the starting town of Aincrad. A few weeks ago, Daeron, a guild member that Shizuka wished she had been kinder to jump off here. Now, I shall do the same. Heaven... Please accept me despite my sins. And hence, Shizuka's tears began to fall. She was lonely, depressed and jealous. Life meant nothing to her now. Sure, this was just a video game but it was her life. This game along with its players had treated Shizuka unfairly and Shizuka despised this place. Shizuka sighed, whipping off a few tears as she climbed the bordering wall and stood high up. Before I die... I must stand tall. Just like who I was in the past. Quite ironic isn't it. Shizuka thought as the noises around her disappeared. The birds seemed to have noticed her and stopped their singing. The NPCs locked themselves into the shops that they own. The streets were empty and the only sound was thunder and rain pouring down onto the streets. Goodbye world. Goodbye to all those that I thought I was friends with... Goodbye to those that I enjoyed being with but no longer loved. Goodbye to the ramen I loved... Goodbye to the bosses that I have fought... Goodbye, the world. And hence, she bent her legs and closed her eyes as she pulled down her cloak hood, revealing her long, slender, beautiful pink hair.

And it was her life that is being crossed out

Anyone can join but please PM first

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Rain. Always rain. Lowenthal never felt good in the rain, but then again who really did? Rain made things cold, and he hated being cold. He enjoied the beach and it's warmth far too much. But instead of parading on the beach, he was here. On a miserable floor, with miserable weather. And to add more confusion to his head, he didn't know why he was there. He just was. Lowenthal's mind wandered, and he was set on leaving the Town of Beginnings behind him. But then, he recognized a cloak of a familiar nature. It was an Azure Brigade cloak, and even if it was dark and raining, he'd recognize it. "Shizuka. What're you doing?" He talked to himself, as he watched her step out into the wilderness.

Lowenthal followed her in the rain. His stealth ability allowed him tail her quite easily. What was she up to? Her walk was a determined one, so she had to be on a mission of some kind. But what? He continiued to stalk, staying out of sight and silent. The rain helped to mask his footsteps as he crept behind Shizuka. Why was he stalking her, they were in the same guild? He didn't know, but in his gut something was off. And it was that same feeling that kept him alive after all this time, and not dead in a cave somewhere.

Finally after what seemed to be an eternity, Shizuka stopped walking, and Lowenthal halted as well. Lowenthal recognized the area. It was where another player had jumped off the edge of Aincrad before. What was his name, Daeron? He never got to know the man, so his death didn't toll on Lowenthal. But other members of Azure were shook up about it, and it seemed that Shizuka had it the hardest.

Shizuka climbed the wall dropped to her knees, and pulled her hood back. Her pink hair flowed in the wind before becoming wet from the rain. Lowenthal searched for something to say, anything. "Shizuka. Hold up." Lowenthal said, before climbing the wall on his own. He sat down beside the woman, his gaze fixated on her. Even in rain, it was obvious that she had been crying. "Shiz. Talk to me about it. Please." Lowenthal said, almost pleading. 

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Every story has to end whether it is good or bad. Every ending has to come whether it is good or bad. Every life has to end even if it is good or bad. Geez... I really didn't expect my life to end like this. This game sure has its influences on people, especially the weaklings that inhabit this world. Shizuka thought, closing her eyes shut as she prepared to let go of her leg strength and jump down, away from this world that she so hated. However, that was when she heard a voice. A bright voice from deep within the rain. A bright noise from deep within the darkness. As if something suddenly occurred to her, Shizuka's eyes opened suddenly just as she was about to jump. Something told her that there was someone that was looking for her and as she looked beside her, there he was. Orange haired warrior, Lowenthal. He was someone that Shizuka truly didn't know that well and it saddened her to see that someone who she'd met only once in her life was here to prevent her from jumping. Shows that the others are not very friendly doesn't it? Shizuka thought, clutching her teeth in hatred at the ones that had ignored her and the ones that had betrayed her. Shizuka sighed, perhaps Lowenthal would be able to comfort her and change her mind about jumping from this world. Perhaps... But it probably won't happen. Lowenthal was too comical and unserious for a matter as grave as this. With a sniffle and tears falling down from her cheeks and into the void that surrounds the world of Aincrad, Shizuka began to speak in a deep, voice that was emotionless and hopeless. It was clear evidence that she had already given up. "Lowenthal. Perhaps it is fate that you were the one who would talk to me last as I whip off the last evidence of me ever being in this world. People won't remember me... They never intended to. Maybe you will... I hope you will. I hope someone would remember these words that I speak to you today. Tears... These tears that fall from my eyes and land in the void that swallows every living thing that exists as it falls within. I wonder what it is like there... I wonder where the tears are now. I wonder whether I'll be in the same place as the tears that is falling from my eyes. Maybe it is the heaven that lays within... Or worse, maybe it is hell. I want to leave, be gone from this world... But there is a voice within me that tells me to stay." Shizuka thought, her eyes, lost of all spirits, gleaming in the rain and shining from the reflection of the dark sky. "I guess I'll stay here for just a bit more... To enjoy this world that I used to enjoy." 

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Lowenthal sighed as Shizuka talked. "I don't believe that much in fate. Or the celestial bodies. They're all just things to help people cope with the death of others." Lowenthal said. "So many people focus on death, and what happens afterward. It's rare to see someone else who focuses on people, who they are, and what they can do." Lowenthal said, trying to talk to Shizuka. "I will remember you." Lowenthal said, running his hand through his wet hair. Lowenthal searched for the appropriate words to say. He didn't want to crack a joke, like he normally did. He could see how much Shizuka had given up in her eyes. She didn't care anymore. About her, about anyone or anything. Finally, Lowenthal spoke up. "I'm not going to pretend I know what's going through your mind. But I'm here. Not for me, not for someone else. But for you." Lowenthal said. "I want to help.You spend so much time trying to heal others. Give me a chance to heal you. Please." Lowenthal said, looking at Shizuka. Lowenthal reached over, and placed his hand on top of Shizuka's. It was to console her, as much as it was to catch her if she did jump. 

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Shizuka sighed. It was strange that someone had noticed her and had tried to comfort her about her own life. She found it weird that no one had really paid attention to her until it was too late and she had lost much of her own personality. If things had worked out for her since the beginning, Shizuka wouldn't have been in this state of mind and situation. Shizuka resented it. She resented her life and the others that is in her life but for now, Shizuka could only try her hardest to not jump. The temptation was great but for the first time in her life... For the first significant moment in her life, she had been told that she was needed. Someone cared for her and she loved this feeling. Perhaps Lowenthal really was caring... Perhaps he didn't think of Shizuka only as a useless healer. Indeed, she would definitely like that a lot. Shizuka sighed, looking down at the void that was below her. Should she do it? Should she really jump? It was now that she recognized the significance of her life. If someone needed her here, there would be a significance for her to live out her life to the fullest. Maybe, just maybe, Shizuka could find interest in life once again. It would take a lot of work for her to do such a thing. "S-Sorry. It's going to take a while for me to recover. R-Right now... I just need to cry my tears out. So, please pardon me." Shizuka said as she felt tears coming back out from her eyes once again. With a sigh, Shizuka engulfed her face in her hands once more and began to cry out to her heart's content.

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Lowenthal gave a soft smile.He placed an arm around Shizuka, and spoke. "Go ahead and cry it out. I'm here for you." Lowenthal said. He didn't know why he said it, he just did. Just the other day he got into a heated argument with Zelrius. And now, he's consoling a person that he barely knew. He felt like he should say something. He gathered his words before speaking to her. He couldn't think of anything to say, so instead he opted to be silent. Perhaps it was the better option. Hell, who knew? Good only knew how hard it was for Lowenthal to keep his mouth shut, but he would. If it would that Shizuka would be better, h would do it.

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Lowenthal's appearance had made it appear to Shizuka that there was someone in this world that still knew of her... Someone that remembers her for who she is and who she was. Despite the fact that Lowenthal was possibly the only one in this world that paid any attention to her, one was enough for Shizuka. She was not needy and she had not been depressed until only recently yet the others did not like Shizuka for how happy and cheerful she was all the time. She had been a very nice player and now, she was transformed into the opposite of who she was... And she didn't like it one bit. She wanted to go back... She wanted to be who she used to be. Someone that cared for others and was friendly to everyone and everything no matter what they were like and how they were like. Unfortunately, actions speak louder than words and no matter how much she wanted to be back to her usual self... The one that her father and mother loved... And the one that she loved to be as herself... Her true self. She needed someone to change her back to who she was and who else than the man that was in front of him? Lowenthal, someone that joked around even in the dangerous situation of the most dangerous situations. Shizuka whipped off the last few tears that came out from her eyes and looked at Lowenthal. The sky had cleared up at this point and the clouds had separated from each other, stripping the cloud of its darkness and providing the world with light. The sun had escaped from the barrier and was now veiling an orange, mystical light upon the world of Aincrad. "Fine. Lowenthal, I will give you a chance to heal me. Change me back to who I used to be. I'll give this world one more chance because of you... So heal me to the best of your abilities." Shizuka said, not believing that she had actually said that as she held both hands up into a begging position and with her eyes closed with her face facing downwards. 

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Lowenthal looked at Shizuka as she furrowed her brow as she thought. He listened as she spoke again, making a very nice joke about Lowenthal being her healer. Lowenthal gave a big grin, before laughing. "I can try." He said, throwing his arms behind his head, and watching the sun's rays break through the clouds of rain. The clouds had shifted away, giving the illusion that the sky has been cracked open. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's a beautiful sight." He said, now looking at Shizuka. "Well, as all good roads to recovery start the same. With Hot chocolate. My treat." Lowenthal offered, looking back to the sunset. "That is, if you can manage to not spill it on yourself." He teased, glancing a look over to the pink haired healer. But there was one problem. Lowenthal had no idea who Shizuka was before. He had only meet, and seen the Super Serious Shizuka since replacing Zel in Azure. But he didn't care. He'd find out, and he was sure that any Shizuka was better then this one. 

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Shizuka smiled. Sure, it really wasn't much but Shizuka wasn't seeking much either. She wanted to have someone that believed in her and possibly... Possibly had feelings for her. Of course, it was not possible to forget that Shizuka's first love had been broken up by her personally but that was from a severe case of depression that had suddenly struck her. At this point, the guy probably wasn't even willing to get back in touch and neither did Shizuka want to get back in touch as that would only bring her bad memories back. Sure, Shizuka had shared good memories with the past lover but Shizuka needed more. She wanted more, better memories starting from now on. She wanted to wipe away the disgusting path and experiences that she had undergone before. With a sigh, Shizuka hopped off the wall from Aincrad and with a smile at Lowenthal, Shizuka began to walk. "Well? Let's head out then." Shizuka said, exaggerating the smile part. It was a nice feeling. For so long... Too long, Shizuka had not had that feeling on her face. The feeling of a smile and of happiness. Honestly, nothing had really changed but something gigantic had blown up inside her heart. It was as if her emotional defense had suddenly begun to work and fix her errors... Her holes. Shizuka then began to walk, and with her hood down as well for the first time in forever while in the open. Her pink hair flew in the air and her face pale and clear after a rainy day. "Come on, I have got a good restaurant in mind... Unless you have somewhere you wanna go?"

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Lowenthal smiled and followed Shizuka. He was just glad that he didn't witness someone killing themselves. It was a sight that he never wanted to see, that or a great number of people in the nude. "You pick the place. I'll cover your part. It's the least I can do." Lowenthal said, his hands behind his head. Lowenthal let his mind wander, as the two walked and conversed. Shizuka was, cute in a sense. She looked young, but then again so was Clarence. Why did he just make the connection between those two? And in what sense? He wrinkled his nose in thought. It didn't matter. He'd spend the day with her, make sure that she was alright, and continue on his way. "So, what kind of things do you do for fun?" Lowenthal asked, making small talk.

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"Uhm. I don't remember what I do for fun." Shizuka responded with a gentle smile and a pink flush on her creamy skin as she strolled along the primary floor. The opening floor was what it was known to be and of course, Shizuka had consumed most of her time at Sword Art Online on this floor because as a healer, she was incompetent to fight mighty mobs that were on the higher floors and because of that, she was very, very familiar with the fundamental layout of this floor. Shizuka's dawn-tinted hair trailed behind her as she trudged through the breeze of the first floor. Certainly, the area was filled with constructions that were both tall or short yet the wind was not prepared to be obstructed by the buildings that sheltered the players of this floor. Indeed, instead of her tears trailing behind, her vigorous hair seemed to have come back to live and the pinkness was enhanced as she marched on through the usually lively town. However, at the moment, there was absolutely no one, player or NPCs, that were roaming through the streets which were usually crowded and congested with different people. "You know... It's been quite a while since I have had fun." Shizuka continued with her speaking as she placed her right finger tip on her chin, "Uhm, well... I guess back then, I ate a LOT of ramen and loved to watch butterflies in the fields of the first floor. Also, I like to spend time with people so I hope we can have a... bit of fun today?" Shizuka told and having been unable to speak with as much carefreeness as she was able to today, she found it rather laborious to find the right words for such an occasion.

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Lowenthal thought for a moment. "Ramen, and butterfly watching? That sounds more relaxing than fun." He said, honestly. But then again, there wasn't anything in this world that simulated 'fun' as it did the other one. Here, there was no TV, to video games, hell there was barely any electricity. He shouldn't have been surprised that people found joy in different ways then just killing monsters and animals. And he was in no position to judge. "Actually, that sounds good. It'd be nice to relax after such a long week. Huh?" he said, still wearing a smile. It wasn't as strong as before, not as forced. It was a content smile, something he was happy to share. 

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Shizuka smiled in response to Lowenthal's very own smile. He was an attractive man and his smile was contagious. Too contagious that the Shizuka from an hour ago would have definitely avoided at all costs but here, Shizuka was welcoming him into her world even with the contagious, charming smile that he so possesses. Perhaps Shizuka wanted to be happier and that was why she was using Lowenthal as a method of making her happier. Love was not real, that was something that Shizuka had learned in psychology class... In fact, love is something released from the hormones of the brain, causing one to "love". However, once someone has fallen in love, there was no way of telling themselves that love isn't real. For now, from now on, Shizuka was in love and she didn't care what anyone said about it, not her past psychology teacher, not the people in this game. They matter not to her, the only person that matters one bit would be the orange-haired man in front of her. However, Shizuka was not going to tell him that... It would only be a burden to him. If he shares Shizuka's emotions, then, that would be great. Still, if he doesn't have feelings for Shizuka, she wouldn't mind... She'll remember him and move on to not cause troubles for him. "Oi, here we are." Shizuka said, coming back to reality as she sees the familiar restaurant. "Let's go inside. I'm feeling a bit hungry." 

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