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[F1-SP] Earning a Living (Tailor)


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"Won't be long til I kill you, piggy. Then you'll just be shadows and dust. 'Shadows and dust, Maxiumus'. You ever watch Gladiator?" "REEEEEEE!" "Oh, you should though, it's a really good movie. Cinematography is incredible, timeless dialogue, fantastic characters, it's a great film. Probably one of the best ever." "REEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed the boar, stomping around and throwing its head around like a bladed wrecking ball, trying to come in at Hawthorne, who was just avoiding it and looking for an opening. "Maybe staying in like this will help me get a clean shot on you. Maybe I need to stay within striking range instead of trying to run fadeaways." Hawthorne said, parrying the third consecutive swing of the boar's tusks. "Guess we'll find out!" he said, raising his weapon yet again.

(ID# 182897- BD 7 HIT!- MD 2 miss)
Boar 2/10 HP
Hawthorne 13/20 HP


"HAHA! I'm getting the hang of this, you tasty bastard! I'm gonna kill you and take your skin in no time! You have NO CHANCE, PIG BOY!" Hawthorne pressed in close and kicked the boar in the face, not inflcting any real damage, just spiting the beast because he wanted to.

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"Damn, I never thought being a tailor would have this much violence in it. Maybe that's why I'm making such a bad tailor so far. Maybe I should just do the whole, 'peaceful gathering' thing again. It was getting me a lot more mileage than the pig slaying, and I actually got some DONE instead of just swinging my sword around like a total dumbass." Hawthorne was growing not just tired of this, but unsure of how he could actually improve his striking. At this point, it felt like he'd tried everything. If only this was as easy as real life combat had been. He needed to learn some sword skills, and fast. This was quite a pain, and not in a good way. "REEEEEEE!" squealed the pig, rowdy and hateful as ever. Hawthorne could no longer pretend to know what lay in that little creature's mind. Was it rage? Was it abominable purpose? Was it pure programmed malice? Whatever the motivation this pile of pixels had for wanting him dead, he needed to kill it. Thus, with renewed vigor, he raised his sword and stabbed at the porcine menace.

(ID# 182898- BD 3 miss- MD 9 MINOR CRIT!)

Boar 2/10 HP
Hawthorne 9/20 HP

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"I don't think I can take too many more of those." Hawthorne gulped, reeling from the thrashing the boar just gave him. "Looks like you're gonna be either dead before you hit me again, or I'm gonna have to drink one of my, 'Don't Die' shakes." "REEEEEE!" cried the boar. "It is NOT cheating!" Hawthorne shouted, parrying the boar's mad thrashing and making sure he knew where his potions were in his menu. "It's not MY fault you don't have potions, or opposable thumbs! Take it up with management! Heck, tell him I'm mad at him too! Just make sure you really give him a piece of your mind, cause I doubt I could do anything to him, but YOU have some FIRE in your belly!" "REEEEEE!" cried the boar, leaping at me.

(182899- BD 8 HIT AND KILL negates the- MD 9 MINOR CRIT)
Boar 0/10
Hawthorne, 9/20


(182900- Looting from boar- CD 7- LD 14- 30 col + 20 col + 2 materials)

"AT LONG LAST!" Hawthorne fell to his knees, arms spread out like wings against the sky, "I HAVE WOOOOOOOON!" Then he stood back up, brushed off his pants, looked gratefully at the red lines on him that were beginning to disappear with the out-of combat regeneration, and resolved to simply search for materials like a normal person.

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"Well, that was nice." Hawthorne said, meandering back towards the forest again. "That was such fun. Good thing I can't be beaten in combat by any pig of sow born. Sure is handy to have the boon here. It was so useless in the normal world, but not here! Can't possibly go wrong with that now!" Hawthorne's jesting lifted his spirits. He slogged across the grassland to the forest he searched so much earlier, hoping all the loot wasn't just GONE and that there would be spawns. He couldn't be sure how things would work here. It might be fair, it might not be, it was really too early on to tell how things were going to go. Best he could figure, the only thing to do was put one foot in front of the other, get enough quest XP that killing boars wasn't a chore, and move on to bigger and better things.

(ID# 182901- LD 14, failure)

Evidently not in this spot, though.

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"If only there was some way to KNOW where these things would crop up. Hmm...there's probably a skill for that. Seems like the sort of thing I may need to invest in, after I've got my basic safety and combat stuff down. I'm not sure what overall is the BEST path if there is one, but certainly one that involves having high quality gear is one to take." Hawthorne mused as he strode deeper into the wood again, taking a different route than first he did now, veering off to the west to ensure he didn't just walk over barren ground he'd picked clean himself earlier. "Impossible to know how much stuff IS like in real life, but I can at least figure out on the fly a few things, and prepare to succeed either way on some tasks." The sun was shining through the boughs of the trees, the birds were chirping, and Hawthorne was looking for materials!

(ID# 182902- LD- 9, failure)

If only he was finding some, too. A shame to have such bad luck on such a nice day.

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"I just need 3 more and to do that RIGHT this time instead of WRONG. I wish I knew what I messed up. Seems like so much is handled by the system that it really isn't up to me. Not sure if that's more fair or less fair. Kinda feels like if the system is the only thing deciding things, it's less fair to people who put in more effort. Nothing to be done about the system of reality I live under, though. After all, I'm not a god." Hawthorne turned over some more rocks and lifted a log. Looking under things helped earlier, maybe it would get some thing nice for him again. He could only hope, keeping on keeping on and doing his best- whatever that was worth in this strange world. Didn't seem to be much, that was for sure.

(ID# 182903- LD 13, failure) 


"You know what? I think I'm gonna have better luck fighting, so I'll just start fighting those hornets, and if I need to regenerate after a fight, I can take some time to look for reagents while I do. The rest of the time, I'm gonna try my luck at fighting. I don't even care anymore."

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"Face me, you overgrown bumblebee!" Hawthorne shouted at a hornet buzzing away from the rest of its group. Perking up, the ginormous bug attacked him, and he paid it back in kind.

Hornet: HP 10/10, DMG 3
Hawthorne: HP 20/20, DMG 2

( ID# 182904- BD 9, minor crit + Bleed!- MD 7, hit)
Hornet 7/10 HP + Bleed 12 on the following turn, hornet is doomed to die
Hawthorne 17/20


"HAHAHAHA! That's right you big, yellow monster! DIE! DIE like that PIG wouldn't! Oh, I KNEW getting this item to start off would be AWESOME! HAHA!" Hawthorne shouted with triumph, exulting in the power of his rare weapon and laughing like a maniac. The hornet buzzed about desperately. It HAD stung Hawthorne, but it seemed to know it was on the way out, and it was acting like it. It bobbed and swerved back towards Hawthorne, ready to make a last gasp attempt at killing him. Hawthorne smugly enjoyed this, knowing that this mob didn't have the damage to kill him no matter what, if it was the same level as the boar. He finally felt secure and in control of his situation for the first time since he got into SAO. It was a great feeling.

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"There's nothing you can do now, bee!" Hawthorne exclaimed. "And when I get done killin you, I'm gonna take a look around while I heal up, and then I'm gonna go kill your little bee friends! Nothing you can do about it! I won't die in this pitiful little place!" Hawthorne became dimly aware for a moment how surreal it was that he was yelling at non-sentient NPCs, but he had to do SOMETHING to pass the time, and really, it's not like they were great conversationalists. You can't guarantee you'll have anyone to listen to but yourself, so you may as well make good conversation. The hornet appeared to have had ENOUGH of Hawthorne's words, and buzzed and bobbed over to try to shut him up with its last attack.

(ID# 182905- BD 7 HIT, MD 1 miss)
Hornet 0/10
Hawthorne 17/20


"Damn, I love overkill!" Hawthorne guffawed as he bisected the dying insect. The pieces fell apart and he excitedly reached for the menu in anticipation.

(ID# 182906- CD 7, LD 19- 30 col + 4 bonus materials) 

"Okay, CLEARLY the only FARMING I'm supposed to do is with my sword, so that's what I'm gonna stay doin!" Hawthorne shouted, sprinting back towards the Town of Beginnings to once again use the workbench at Rufus Textillion's.

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"Welcome!" started the friendly shopkeep, "Step right in and-" "Yeah, save it." Hawthorne said, sitting down at the workbench with his 5 mats plus the extra. Damn, killing stuff was DEFINITELY more his thing than just LOOKING for stuff. Or maybe it was about the war vs. peace aspect of things. That seemed more right. In any case, he set about picking out all the same stuff as before, threads, dyes, buttons, rivets, and even a little bit of metal coverage, over the forearms and shins. Gotta get all the zones you can protected as best you can, and it doesn't weigh on the material much to add just a LITTLE metal. Hey, he was getting the hang of this. Thinking through the process and getting stuff done. He was doing it right! He felt invigorated and ready to see the magnificent product produced by his efforts!

(ID# 182907- CD 6, salvage failed with LD 2)

Aaaand then it all just disintegrated into glitter again.

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"It sure is convenient I have mobs to kill about this ANGER I have building inside me!" Hawthorne growled, stalking furiously out to the forest, where he was sure the drops were just better, for some reason. "Imma finish this STUPID quest if it's the LAST THING I DO!" He shouted again as he reached the edge of the Town of Beginnings. "Damn stupid mats, just poofing to dust. After all my hard work, too! Where do they get off doing that kind of crap? The AUDACITY of it all!" He roared, rounding the bend at the creek he followed into the forest earlier on. "I bet there's treasure around here somewhere. You know, sometimes there's just good loot laying around, maybe I need to just take a break from searching for materials that might go up in smoke, and look around for a chest. That sounds like a nice idea to me. I'm going to poke around here looking for some god damned treasure!" he thundered, stalking into the forest.

(ID# 183262- LD 2, Failure)

"Well, it was worth a shot." he growled.

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"Okay, NOW I'm just gonna kill a hornet. There's gotta be one of them buggers somewhere around here. Ha, buggers. I didn't even mean to do that. If only materials fell out of my mouth as often as gems." The forest was cool and breezy, so Hawthorne figured there'd be hornets for him to hunt flying around here SOMEWHERE, he just didn't know where they liked to hang out... He walked deeper in, scaling a hillside dotted with great pine trees, and drawing his sword. In about five minutes, he found a hornet bobbing lazily around a small circle of stones, kind of like a fairy ring. No other mobs around, no other people around. "A match made in heaven." Hawthorne smiled, "You and me, mister. You and me." Hawthorne stalked up to it, paying no mind as it aggroed onto him for wandering too close, and struck out at the foul thing.

(ID# 183263- BD 5 +1 ACC, HIT! MD 3, miss)

Hawthorne 20/20 HP
Hornet 8/10 HP

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"Back into the thick of it!" Hawthorne cried, returning back to stance after striking the big, nasty bug. This thing was the size of a cat, and that just didn't sit right with Hawthorne. Cats are supposed to be the size of cats, NOT venomous bugs. When this whole thing was over, he was gonna have to sue Kayaba to death about how messed up this whole ordeal was. "You've met your match, flyboy! I'm gonna take you down and forge you into armor! As...long as that works this time..." Hawthorne groaned. "I really wish," Hawthorne said casually as he sidestepped the hornets stings and parried at attempted bite, "There was a more 'real life' skill element to this game, because then I could LEARN how to do stuff the old fashioned way. There's something to be said for the accessibility and fairness of having it all be system-run, but I would like to be able to just SUCCEED if I can see a way to, y'know?" The hornet hissed and buzzed furiously. It didn't seem to agree with Hawthorne at all.

(ID# 183264- BD 9, Minor crit, 3 damage and Bleed! MD 2, miss)

Hawthorne 20/20
Hornet 6/10, going to bleed to death on next turn

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"HAHAHA! I LOVE this item!" Hawthorne guffawed, brandishing his sword in the air. "If the system is gonna determine all the outcomes, I'm glad to have a sword with an on-hit effect!" He smiled, seeing the bleed indicator on the hornet's HP gauge. It may be green now, but after this next flash of strikes, whether or not he landed a hit, that bug was DEAD, and he was PRETTY sure there was no way in hell it'd kill him in one strike. Score 2 bleed sword, score zero murder hornets. Sure was a good thing there weren't any murder hornets in REAL life. Hell, that'd seem like a sign of the apocalypse. Best to keep them here where they belonged, dying on Hawthorne's blade. "Are you ready to die, insect?" Hawthorne sneered, leveling his blade at the dying bug. "BZZZ!" it retorted, swerving in on struggling wings to attack Hawthorne one last time.

(ID# 183266- BD 4, miss MD 4, miss)

Hawthorne 20/20
Hornet 0/20 from -12 bleed

(ID# 183267- LD 16, 20 bonus col, CD 2, 20 bonus col)

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"Well, that was okay, but with no materials, I'm gonna have to find another one of you to take a stab at." Hawthorne began hunting for another hornet. Over hills and over meadows, he stalked like a shadow and searched for prey. It was harder than he'd thought to find something to kill. He figured since it was an MMORPG there'd be foes all over, but not here. Seems deliberate. Probably trying to starve us out of XP, force us to infight. This whole mess was more sadistic the more he thought about WHY it'd be put together the way it was. All about breaking the spirits of the people playing. That was the real game- not Sword Art Online, Don't Give Up and Kill Yourself Because It'd Be Easier. On that cheery note, Hawthorne found a hornet chilling by a tree. Time to go ruin its day!

(ID# 183268- BD 9, hit with minor crit and bleed! MD 9- hit with minor crit for 4 damage)

Hawthorne 16/20
Hornet 7/10, bleeding to death next turn

"HAHAHA! Can't beat luck!" 

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The hornet sputtered and buzzed desperately, trying to keep itself aloft in spite of the wound it was about to lose all its HP from. It flew at Hawthorne in a coughing, spluttering fashion, lurching hard and then bobbing low repeatedly. Hawthorne stepped aside and knocked it away with the flat of his blade, trying to buy time til the bleed effect triggered and killed his prey. "Oh, no. I don't have to step right up to you, and you can suck on that! I don't NEED to dive right in at you if you're already gonna keel over dead!" "Bzzzzz." the bug protested weakly. "I know your tricks. You're gonna come in at me all at once one of these times anyways, so I might as well keep you back til then, since I've already done the work of winning this fight. You have NOTHING in the tank, and *I* have a badass weapon, so you just sit back and lose, buggy boy." 

(ID# 183269- BD 4, miss MD 8 hit for 3 damage)

Hawthorne 13/20
Hornet 0/10 from bleed

(ID# 183270- LD 6, CD 4, 40 bonus col)

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"Well, I need to heal up, so it's time for some good old fashioned non-combat gathering." Hawthorne resolved. It wouldn't take too long to heal, and then he could go back to fighting for his loot like he preferred. Just best to play it safe considering he only had the one life and all. With any luck, he'd find something as he searched, and then get 4 mats from a kill like he did before. Just without failing at the end and losing all that progress... It really was disheartening how this kept happening, but life isn't about how easily things come to you, it's about how much you reach into the jaws of defeat and rip out a nice, juicy victory. You can't just let something like randomly generated results get you down, you have to live your life for YOU and take NO PRISONERS! A rather brutal thought to think while searching a glade for stuff to make things non-violently with, but hey, you got what you got, and Hawthorne had an awful lot of brutality to spare.

(ID# 183271- LD 20 FOUND A MATERIAL)

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"Hell yeah!" Hawthorne shouted, pumping his fist in the air, "Now it's time to go hunt down another bug and get some more mats for my armor! Now, if I were a big, ugly cretin, where would I be...?" Hawthorne resolved he wouldn't hang out in a glade. Glades seemed too NICE for ugly buglies. He went looking through a stand of trees, listening for buzzing and looking for bright yellow. You'd think it'd be easy, against the brown and green of a forest, to find a big bug, buzzing and flitting about the color of mustard, but no, it took some time to locate one. Hardly seemed right, honestly. "There you are!" Hawthorne shouted, realizing too late he probably should have stayed quiet and snuck up on it. Oh well, not time for regrets, only sword strikes.

(ID# 183272- BD 4, miss MD 2, miss)

"BZZZZZ!" the bug fired back furiously, stabbing at Hawthorne's eyes. "Whoa, you stay back. I just wanna kill you, it's nothing personal!" Hawthorne yelled.

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"If you'd just die already, I'd really appreciate it!" Hawthorne smirked as he rounded on the bug, sword raised and aimed right at the beast. "BZZZZ!" the wasp retorted, bobbing menacingly in the air and tensing its abdomen, lifting its stinger to face Hawthorne in a similar way. Hawthorne briefly wondered whether or not it was smart enough to understand technique, since it mimicked him. "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but without opposable thumbs, I think you're still at a distinct disadvantage here!" He quipped as he stepped experimentally closer, the hornet wordlessly buzzing back and away to avoid the shiny-sharp blade in his hand. Hawthorne noticed his stance starting to shift too much to the side, and straightened it back into a fencer's stance. Against one opponent like this, presenting a smaller target to his enemy was the smartest thing to do, so he bladed his body to narrow his profile. The bug tired of this dance, "BZZZZZZ!" it declared furiously as it flew in to strike him with its stinger.

(ID# 190166- BD 10 CRITICAL HIT, MD 1 miss, 4 DAM to Hornet + BLD, none to Hawthorne)

Hawthorne 20/20

Hornet 6/10, going to bleed to death next turn

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"Haha! Now you're dead!" Hawthorne exclaimed with savage glee, seeing his sword's bleed proc. The hornet reeled away, landing on the ground briefly before weakly taking flight again, looping back around to swoop towards Hawthorne. Hawthorne parried its strike easily and sidestepped elegantly, striding away at a glancing angle from his foe and lowering his sword to his side, at the ready. "BZZZ!" the hornet complained bitterly, struggling to keep itself aloft as the bleed indicator began to pulse more rapidly, like a heart getting ready to stop from strain. "I'll be back and making armor out of you soon enough." Hawthorne smirked, holding his sword once again aloft to point at the hornet. "Once more!" Hawthorne cried, knowing by now that the creature's AI would direct it to attack one more time before it bled to death, and wishing to be ready for it. "BZZZZZZ!" it revved fiercely and right on time, charging with reckless abandon back in to attack Hawthorne one last time.

(ID# 190167- BD 1, miss, MD 10 CRITICAL HIT for 5 damage to Hawthorne)

Hawthorne 15/20

Hornet 0/10 (-12 BLD)

(ID# 190168- CD 3, LD 10, 50 Col, 2 tier 1 Materials)

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"That's more like it! Can't stop here though, I need more mats if I'm gonna make myself some good armor!" Hawthorne said excitedly, hurrying off to go for the next target. "I could go be careful and farm mats without fighting, but that goes SO MUCH SLOWER and I'm not THAT hurt, so I'm just gonna go kill another big bug." He stalked quietly along through the forest, seeking a target and finding another rather quickly. He crept up behind it, leaping from behind a tree with his sword aloft, swinging down at the hornet not NEARLY so stealthy as he thought, apparently. The hornet was already waiting and struck at him with its stinger. "I should really invest some points into Stealth." Hawthorne thought to himself as he stepped in, striking and parrying and spinning to strike again. As thrilling as the dance was, the GOAL was to get materials for armor, first and foremost.

(ID# 190169- BD 6 HIT, MD 9 Minor Crit, 2 damage to Hornet, 4 damage to Hawthorne)

Hawthorne 11/20
Hornet 8/10

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