[PP-F1] Beginner's Blade (Pi x Tor Darksbane)

[Nevina 0]

Spires of rock dotted the grassy plains, and the sound of water could be heard more clearly as one drew further away from the starting city. Pools of water glittered under the sun, held in structures that blossomed out over a vast canyon, suspended in a manner normally impossible by known physics. Such was the norm in a game.

A woman clad in white and red stood in the distance, billowing pink hair like a cape, her own reflection smiling against the rippling water in front of her. The yellow question mark that floated above her head was the only hint that she might not be a player; indeed, this npc turned and with her preset dialog gave a smile.

"Hello there, perhaps you would like to duel with me?" She sounded friendly enough, and the duel icon stood waiting for acceptance or decline. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to introduce oneself to the npc. A duel wouldn't harm the player, after all.

[DSandman23 0]

The farther away Tor walked from the city, the calmer he felt. The breeze of the wind caressed his face, and made him take a deep breath. With his eyes closed, he let out the air from his lungs free. When he decided to open them again the sight of a woman, who had the most beautiful pink hair he had ever seen, stared back at her.

The smile she gave him as she asked for a duel, couldn't have been better displayed. At least not in the real world, but here... here everything is possible... even death. Even though he could see the question mark atop her head, he couldn't help but wonder, what if she was a person stuck here too... what if her fate was the same as his... to survive here or die trying.

While all of this thoughts went through his mind, he said "Yes, I would." He tried to hide the tremor in his voice but couldn't and came out as a whisper. If she noticed it or not, she didn't reveal it, which made him a little more confident. But that smile... as he got ready for the duel he couldn't stop looking at that beautiful smile.

[Nevina 0]

With one swift motion that would make any user doubt the existence of pixels, the pink-haired woman swung her arm out, a wooden sword materializing in the palm of her hand. As if mirrored, the wooden sword found itself in Tor's own hand. With a short twist of the wrist, Pi's own blade was flipped across the backside of her hand, swinging a full circle before lightly settling back in the grip of her gloved fingers. The duel was accepted at his words, and her smile continued to beam warmly, "Perhaps just a warm up exercise would be fun. How about you go first then, sir?"

Pi wants you to strike first! We are not using any battle system for this duel, just roleplay out what you'd like. Do one sword attack, and try describing how it's done. Will you crouch and launch from low down, or perhaps leap forward and strike down? Stab? Side-swipe? There are a lot of ways the battle can go! Be descriptive so that I can picture the move in my head!

-----

OOC - These are some comments about your post! These are just suggestions that may help you in the future.

The good: It looks like you're pretty comfortable with roleplaying and describing things! I enjoy seeing his thoughts and awareness of the environment and his existence within it. Since you're already skilled at rping, I'll go ahead and nit-pick on details.

The tips:

• You don't need quite so many ellpsis (those "..." periods). I do like that you're giving pause as it gives a more dramatic effect, but too many ... in a paragraph makes it more clunky.

You could try something like:

-he couldn't help but wonder if she was a person stuck here too. What if her fate was the same as his? To survive here.. Or to die trying.

By using ? and , as regular sentences, you're still able to add that pause effect.

• Random commas ahoy!

The breeze of the wind caressed his face, and made him take a deep breath.

--

The smile she gave him as she asked for a duel, couldn't have been better displayed.

You don't need a comma in there, the sentence itself is short enough that it flows just fine without the comma. This is something that a ton of people do, so it can be hard to get used to at first. Take out a comma after typing it, re-read the sentence, and see how it sounds.

[DSandman23 0]

Tor moved the wooden sword side to side and from hand to hand, feeling its weight. He still couldn't believe that it was all a game. He knew that the danger of dying was real but the thought of it being real was slowly creeping up on his mind. He glanced from the sword to the woman, while at the same time deciding with which hand to use his sword. Outside in the real word he was used to using his right hand but inside the game both hands felt the same.

The movement of the blade felt natural to him. The fluid of motion made with the blade seemed like a normal extension of his arm. After a few seconds and a couple of swings, both downward and upward, he decided that nothing would be better practice than actual combat. That's when he remembered some movies and shows he had watched before joining the game so he came up with the idea of mimicking one of those combat moves.

"Thank you very much." said Tor as he put his left foot back and lowered the sword to his waist extending backwards. He let hands grip the sword tightly and relaxed. After taking a breath he sprung into action. Utilizing a swift and fast that he didn't know he had which made the black coat around his body flung back forcefully, he brought the sword from the ground in an upward slash. At that exact moment his eyes darted from the waves made by his sword's motion to the calm unwavering smile of his opponent...