[PP-F1] Beginner's Blade (Pi x Zelrius Blackfyre)

[Nevina 0]

Spires of rock dotted the grassy plains, and the sound of water could be heard more clearly as one drew further away from the starting city. Pools of water glittered under the sun, held in structures that blossomed out over a vast canyon, suspended in a manner normally impossible by known physics. Such was the norm in a game.

A woman clad in white and red stood in the distance, billowing pink hair like a cape, her own reflection smiling against the rippling water in front of her. The yellow question mark that floated above her head was the only hint that she might not be a player; indeed, this npc turned and with her preset dialog gave a smile.

"Hello there, perhaps you would like to duel with me?" She sounded friendly enough, and the duel icon stood waiting for acceptance or decline. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to introduce oneself to the npc. A duel wouldn't harm the player, after all.

[Zelrius 0]

Zelrius stopped as this strange girl asked the question. What is this nonsense...?

Sure, I don't mind, But you're an NPC, Can they duel? Aren't they programmed to only follow specific patterns making any duel impossible for them?

Zelrius asked with Knowledge and Curiosity in his voice.

[Nevina 0]

The npc gave a warm smile at the acceptance, a long wooden sword instantly materializing within the palm of her hand. As if mirrored, the same wooden sword found itself in Zelrius' hand.

"Do not fear, I shall go easy on you. How about we just do a warm up?" It was evident that this npc wasn't out for a full on duel, but more as a tutorial for those new to the world. A generic npc to be sure, but good practice regardless. "How about you go first?"

Pi wants you to strike first! We are not using any battle system for this duel, just roleplay out what you'd like. Do one sword attack, and try describing how it's done. Will Zelrius crouch and launch from low down, or perhaps leap forward and strike down? Stab? Side-swipe? There are a lot of ways the battle can go! Be descriptive so that I can picture his move in my head!

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OOC - These are some comments about your post! These are just suggestions that may help you in the future.

The good: The way you portray Zelrius is beginning to show his personality and the type of person he is. That's great! I can't wait to see more about him!

Some tips:

• Instead of colored text, try using "quotations" for speech. When you use colored text, I can't tell if Zelrius is speaking or thinking because I've seen it go either way before. But quotations will let everyone know instantly that he is speaking to others. You could color the text as well as use quotes at the same time, that'd be fine! Use a quote " to show where he begins speaking, and a second " to show the end of his verbal words.

• Might need to clarify a bit:

But you're an NPC, Can they duel?

The first part makes me think that Zelrius is speaking to Pi. The second part sounds like he is thinking the question to himself. Since you used both in the same sentence, it's a little hard to tell if he's speaking to her directly or not.

You could work it like this: "But you're an NPC, can you even duel?" This directly addresses the npc by using "you" instead of "they". I believe you were trying to address npcs as a whole, but because Zelrius is talking specifically to Pi, that makes it a bit trickier to do.

You could also try this: "But you're an NPC." Zelrius said with a tinge of curiosity, wondering if NPCs were even capable of dueling. This both addresses Pi and shows us a little about what Zelrius is thinking and feeling about.

[Zelrius 0]

Zelrius chuckled,

If you insist. He stated. forgetting all sympathy as, yes, This an NPC and not a player.

He began first by weighing the sword in his hand, jiggling it around and swinging at the air a couple of times.

Zelrius smirked as the Wooden sword was plenty light enough for him to use speed to his advantage.

He began his first move. stepping back 3 steps, prepared to launched.

When he felt the energy He pushed off with his heel Blade held straight in front of him gliding through the air, ready for a countermove

-OOC Thanks! And I use the Tellized thing for the "thinking" part, but I'll use Quotations from now on just to clear that up. Love the feedback, Your move