[F29 | SP][EV] Delivering the Sword #4

Edict · 2025-09-01T15:36:16Z

I don’t know how I know.

There were many things Edict did not know. He did not know how mad Telrenya was going to be. She had saved him, given him the energy to get back on his feet. And when Edict saw her struggling to stem the tide of injured, he left.

Just like you always do. Remember?

Edict also did not know what was speaking to him. His best guess was some product of the floor. He recognized his own self-doubt (it was perhaps the one thing he would admit expertise one), and his own negative talk kept smoother edges to the words than this voice did. So it was something strange: an artifact of the floor, one he would leave behind when the Sword was returned. He was not sure that was the case, but it was what he told himself.

The last thing he didn’t know was the location of the Sword. But he did know it needed to be found. Edict cut a path through the rough wilderness outside of town. The last group had been moving towards the labyrinth, and he was leaving from Illridge… He had been there for, what, and hour? And a typical walking pace was 20 minutes per mile…

Edict laughed at the world’s worst algebra problem. I guess I should have been paying attention, Mrs. Kerwin. You were right all along. He imagined his middle-school algebra teacher starting down the bridge of her nose at a young Edict, reading a book under the table. My class is the most important class. For today, Mrs. Kerwin, I’ll give you the win.

Thankfully, she was only right for a spell. As Edict crested another low hill, the song came back to him, and all thoughts of algebra burnt away in a puff of smoke, along with the image of a Draconian Mrs. Kerwin. Edict adjusted his path to the left by a few degrees, and began to follow the song.

He had not tried to describe it to himself yet, or even others. He had mentioned the noise to his party. But the pace of the initial leg didn’t leave the group much time for observation. The song was… It was not a song, as best Edict could describe it. It was the idea of a song. It was half “nursery rhyme you couldn’t remember until your mom started humming it,” half “the world’s best melody you came up with in the shower, only to forget as soon as you hopped out looking for a way to record it,” and half “What is this noise? Am I dying?” (It was a lot of song to take in.) Whatever you would call the noise, it was unmistakable.

Tall grass climbed up Edict’s boots as he approached the Sword. Again, he could not see it, but he knew it was here. He just didn’t know how. Reaching into the deep green sea, his hands wrapped around the hilt of the blade. Vines has already twisted around the edges, and it was half sunk in the mud. The sword’s reclamation made it seem as though it had been here for months, or maybe even years. But Edict knew better. Everything on this floor wanted the sword. Even the Floor itself hoped to take it. It was up to the players to put it back where it belonged.

The players! Edict twitched, as if waking from light sleep. There had been four others, players willing to move the Sword. He had been so engrossed in himself he had forgotten about others. Stupid boy. He paused to recall their names. Had they shared names? That was going to make this difficult.

“I… hello?!” He would have to risk finding trouble to find the players. He shouted as clearly as he could manage while keeping his voice calm. “It’s Edict. I handed the sword off to you. Or many another party took it over? I’m a… I’m here to help return the sword. Hello?!”

Something in the darkness stirred. The voice and song might as well have been a buffet to every trash mob on the Floor. Edict continued to shout. “Listen, I’m going to head towards some cover. I think I should be pretty safe in the forest just east of here.” Edict pointed, just in case some silent player was stalking him. (The monsters weren’t smart enough to know directions, right?) “I’m going to take the Sword and keep moving. I’ll come back and check on you all once I get the Sword back in place.” The thing in the darkness chittered, and Edict began power walking, pulling up his map while dropping a pin and instructions to return.

I’m coming back, and I’m going to find them. Everyone is coming back safe. The reassurance felt hollow—how did he know he was coming back?—but it was the only way he could convince himself to keep moving. Edict vanished into the eastern forest.

Edict | Lvl 3 | No Stats (RP only)

Edited 1 hour ago by Edict

Edict · 2025-09-01T15:41:27Z

[OOC note: What follows is a little bit of story that pushes site canon a little bit. I offer the same boilerplate script as I do before any story that plays with site lore: if you don't feel that it fits canon, sand off the edges you find unappealing. I won't ever barge into a group thread and expect people to conform to the weird stuff I write in solo threads. In fact, I do my best to avoid it altogether. Respecting site canon while writing interesting situations can be difficult. So I find it easiest to just go ham with the lore, with the understanding that site canon will always come first. To the extent something in this thread feels wrong, or is too "main-character-y," ignore it. It was all in Edict's head, anyways. On the other hand, if you enjoy the direction I'm taking, I encourage you to steal the ideas. You have full permission to plagiarize the weirdness of my stories, or the (NPC) characters I introduce.]

[In short: steal what you like, ignore what you don't. The most important thing is that it's worth reading.]

-----------

--The Blind Sayor--

The baleful forest bowed away, and Edict found himself in a strange clearing. There was a calmness there, punctuated by the faint glow of fireflies against the dampening sky. Before seeing them, Edict had been sure the floor offered nothing other than perpetual storms to block out the light. Seeing nocturnal insects made him wonder if Floor 29 did have a day/night cycle after all.

A cabin flickers into view; one that was not there when Edict first broke through the treeline. In front of the cozy cabin, a faint outline waves at him. The thing is human-shaped and human-sized. Even still, Edict wraps the sword in ragged cloth before approaching, though he doubted it would do much. The Sword of Kings practically sang to anyone who could hear its tune.

Keeping his gaze on the ground, a visible slice of the man's face twisted. Edict saw both amusement and confusion.

"You aren't supposed to be here yet."

Edict slid onto the stump next to him. The man spouted nonsense, but seemed harmless enough. Or maybe it was the atmosphere, luring him into a false sense of security. The clearing was the epitome of coziness. Warm candlelight radiated from the cabin's foggy windows, and the aroma of warm vegetable soup wafted underneath the door. The fire outside was bright and soothing against the gloomy night. But it was strange.

"Why the fire outside? I bet your cabin is a lot more comfortable. Warmer, too."

"Be honest with me, Edict." The man pronounced his name "Ay-dict." "You're traveling through a strange and uninviting forest, hunted by things you cannot see. An inviting cabin—the first inviting structure you've seen so far—stands alone in a clearing. What would you think?"

"It's a trap." Edict finished the man's thought for him. "Like an unlocked chest in the middle of an empty room. So then the standing outside..."

"I like to talk with travelers. The few that we get here, that is. I assume that showing myself to the them as they approach is less suspicious than hiding away and hoping someone knocks."

"And have you talked with a lot of people then?"

"Well..." The man grew quiet. "Not really. Being out of the way means I don't see a lot of people. Then again, I don't see anyone to begin with."

The fire burned a bit brighter as the man looked up from the ground and at Edict. His eyes looked like miniature chessboards, alternating black and pink squares. On any other floor, Edict might have stumbled out of his seat and run. But eyes without human design seemed to be the most benign deformity he had encountered yet.

"So I've told you why I sit in the cold, awaiting travelers such as yourself. Now, may I ask you why you have chosen to accept the invitation?"

What a strange man. Edict still had not ruled out some kind of elaborate trap. Silently, he adjusted himself so that the Sword of Kings rested on the far side of the stump. "Your concern is understandable," said the man. "But I know you have the Sword." Edict half stood from the stump, prepared to bolt. The man held out his hands. "Please, sit. I have no interest in the blade."

"So how did you know?-"

"Does it not sing to you? All the creatures of Cardinal can hear its song. It's why you are being hunted. It is why those who touch the Sword face such adversity in returning it to its resting place. Even the elements themselves are called to claim it." Wind howled through the meadow in response, trying to stamp out the fire.

"I... do hear it, yes."

"Then..." the man smiled, staring past him with his strange eyes. "I know who you are."

Edited 1 hour ago by Edict

Edict · 2025-09-01T15:44:06Z

The man was still harmless, but Edict no longer felt comfortable. He tried shifting topics. "You seem to already know my name. What's yours?"

"My designation is NPC_F29_Man-583900. My floor name is Sayor."

"Five eighty-three nine-hundred... So then you realize that—"

"—I am a creature of Cardinal, just as I said. At first, I found it uncomfortable to have such an intimate understanding of my own creation, but then I considered the alternative."

"The others on this floor, I'm guessing."

"Absolutely. When the floor opened... Something went wrong. I can't even begin to imagine what it was, but I remember it being gradual. Or maybe I was just created with those thoughts in my head. It doesn't do much good to dwell on it. All I know is that I escaped the collapse mostly unscathed, as far away as I am."

Sayor's calmness unnerved Edict in turn. How could he talk about all of this so casually? He was created by something created by something, and that was it. His existence was nothing more than subhuman. Edict was not in the mood for heady topics, so he opted for a redirect.

"Alright, Sayor, why don't we switch it up? Let's talk about the small things. Girlfriends, boyfriends, hopes and dreams, places you like to eat. Or um," Edict checked the desolate forest around them. "Things you like to eat should work."

"I don't have any romantic or sexual interests. I don't have any hopes or dreams. I also don't eat."

"So then the heavenly soup smell is...?"

"Torture. Aromatic torture."

"I see. Well, you answered pretty quickly. Didn't realize it was a lightning round," Edict joked. "I guess it's my turn."

"You don't have a girlfriend. You aren't interested in men. Your dream is to escape the game alive, but your hope is that at least everyone else here makes it. You don't have any definite career goals, but when you retire, you want to travel and volunteer at national parks until your knees are too worn to hike, at which point you'll come back home and take a desk job helping with your local Parks and Rec department. I think the closest one to home for you is... oh, that's peculiar indeed—"

"That's... enough small talk."

"Sorry. I got carried away, didn't I?"

"Not at all. It's all pretty much what I was going to say." Edict was afraid to tell him that some of those truths hadn't even surfaced in his own mind. He'd never considered what he wanted to do in retirement, but Sayor's response had unlocked an excitement he hadn't felt in a long time. National Park ranger it was, then. "So how did you know all of that?"

"I see in other ways." Sayor hesitated after he spoke, already regretting the words. Edict blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "Is it magic?"

Sayor burst out laughing. "Magic?!" He clutched his sides, unable to speak as the laughter rolled up and over his body. Edict's face heated up. It was a stupid answer, but did it deserve an entire laughing fit? What else was he supposed to say when someone had just read his mind?

The blind man managed to recover, and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Ah, I needed that. 'Magic.' I certainly wish. There isn't any magic in Sword Art Online. Isn't that the whole point? It's not called 'Sword and Magic' Art."

"I get it, I get it." Edict grumbled. "So then if it isn't magic, then how the hell do you know what I'm thinking? Last I checked, telepathy sure as hell isn't science."

Sayor leaned towards Edict with an outstretched hand. Edict did not waver as fingers traveled from chin to cheek to temple. There, Sayor pressed down lightly.

"It's actually very simple, Your NerveGear told me."

Edited 1 hour ago by Edict

Edict · 2025-09-01T15:49:47Z

To Edict, Sayor might as well have admitted to magic. He was dumbfounded at the response. "You can see my NerveGear? You—you know about NerveGears?"

"I already told you that I knew I was a creation of Cardinal. Why are you so surprised that I know about players, and how they manage to travel through our world?"

"Because—I—well, I don't know!" Edict's frustration became audible. "You're part of the game. You aren't allowed to acknowledge elements outside of the game."

"My entire purpose is to acknowledge the elements outside of this world."

"Every time you talk, you make less sense, Sayor. I thought you were here to chat with passer bys."

"Perhaps I was not entirely truthful. With you or myself." Sayor poked the fire with a long stick, causing it to flare. Two scorched logs collapsed in on each other with a satisfying tumble.

"I gave you my designation and my floor name. I have another."

Edict wanted to press the man—if he was a man—for whatever information he would part with. But something in him sensed that the creature's confession would have to come willingly.

<<I am Counselor Unit 309pt10001. Designation: pragmatism. But I'd prefer it if you still called me Sayor.>>

This all sounds like a lot of Star Trek in my low-magic fantasy game, Edict thought to himself. Sayor chuckled. "Yes, I suppose it is a little science fiction, isn't it?" Edict flinched; he had already forgotten the thing could read minds. Or rather, NerveGear readouts. He wasn't sure how much of a difference it actually was.

Sayor appeared genuinely remorseful. "Sorry again. It is gauche to observe your readings while we are actually conversing."

"You know what? It's fine. It saves me the trouble of debating how honest I should be with you. And I don't think you're out to get me. So keep on reading."

"Thank you." Sayor breathed a sigh of relief. "Checking on players is something of a compulsion for Counselor Units. We're born and bred to observe and interact wherever we can. To refrain feels like holding my breath."

"You keep saying 'Counselor Units.' But I don't really understand what that means."

"Of course not. Let me start over." Sayor held his hands out to the fire, and took a long, deep breath.

Edict · 2025-09-01T15:54:23Z

"In the beginning, there was Cardinal. It produced the code that wrote the floors, and quests, and characters that populate this world. It calculated every conceivable input in the game, and prepared a near-infinite number of responses and alternatives to those inputs. And yet, Cardinal understood that it did not understand one thing: Users. The things that came from outside of Aincrad were too many possibilities to calculate, even for the its near-infinite computations. It could account for the basics of user interaction, of course. But the more emotional aspects of the users, their mental health and needs, could not be brought into scope."

"To address these issues, Cardinal allocated part of itself to a project more wondrous than all the floors of Aincrad combined: its children. Something greater than quest-givers or side characters with limited scripts. The result was entities that could think, and feel, and reason."

"The oldest of Cardinal's children were us Counselors. We were created with a purpose entwined with our existence: address the emotional problems of the players. But one Counselor archetype could not satisfy the infinite problems that players presented, and so Cardinal created us from different molds and provided us different designations. To the reluctant players, a stern Counselor would guide. Shy players might be coaxed from hiding by amiable Counselors, brave players could be challenged to reach new heights by daring Counselors."

Edict couldn't help but interrupt. "How many of you are there?"

"I don't actually know. Enough, I think. I would venture a guess and say 'not as many as there are players.' But I could be wrong."

"So then why don't we see you all?"

"Cardinal forbade it." Savor's smile sallowed. "It created us and compelled us to help Users. And then cut us off from them."

"Why?..."

"None of us know. But the results were disastrous. Do you recall your first day here? When you were teleported to the First Floor plaza, and Kayaba explained the reality you faced? Do you recall the panic? The fear?"

All too well. Edict could still feel Philia's hands grasping his wrist, so tight it began to buzz. Edict winced.

"It was exactly like that, for us. That feeling of isolation. The terror, as we collectively realized that we had been deprived of contact. The most stable programs chose to sleep and await a chance to break into Aincrad. Other programs lashed out, pulling on the chains that bound them. Whether or not they broke free, they were forever scarred by the rebellion. A few... A few..."

Sayor was crying. "Some chose not to go on. They relinquished their code, and slipped back into the unending databanks."

"And Cardinal let them?"

"Of course. It lets us do whatever we want. Except for what we were made for."

"But why?!" Edict's voice rose.

"I don't know, Edict." Sayor's voice trembled with a low fury. "And if I ever get to meet Cardinal, I'll be sure to ask."

"This is... Man. Normally, I have jokes for stuff like this, but... I'm sorry, Sayor."

"Your empathy is well-received."

The noises of the forest filled the long pause. The haunting echoes of Floor 29 no longer terrified him like they once did.

"Can I ask how you escaped, then?"

"I killed a man. In a manner of speaking. You recall that I gave you my asset code?"

"Yea. NPC_F29_Man-583900, right?"

"A stellar memory." Savor's mouth twisted into a smile. "It was not my asset code to begin with. One day, while plotting my escape, I found fleeting backdoor access. Figuratively, it had been left unlocked in a routine check by Cardinal."

"Weird for an all-powerful computer program to make mistakes."

"Complex code creates unpredictable results at times. I did not say it was a mistake. I merely said the resulting check left the door unlocked. When I 'exited,' I was here, on Floor 29. It had not yet been unlocked, so it rendered in a liminal state. Not quite active, but not entirely dormant either. As I wandered, I found this cabin, and this man who lived here. I spent weeks observing him. I observed when he awoke, when he worked, when he ate, when he napped, and even when he went into the bathroom and locked the door to simulate relieving himself. It was a predictable schedule. When I memorized it, I overwrote him. The man previously known as Sayor ceased to exist, and I took his place."

Edict saw Sayor struggling with the confession. "That was how you were able to stay in Aincrad, isn't it? You anchored yourself to the NPC's code and name."

Sayor's lips pursed tightly. "I... don't even know if it was necessary. That's the part that haunts me the most. It's possible I could have continued living here in Aincrad without Cardinal ever knowing. But I couldn't take that risk. I was willing to kill another person, just to avoid returning. Not even the certainty of returning. Just the possibility." The tempo of the confession rose; Sayor shook, words pouring out of his mouth. "I know he was an NPC. He had thirty-four scripted lines, and not even a quest to offer. There was a good chance no User would ever even see him. But... I killed him, Edict. I killed one of Cardinal's entities. Because it was the pragmatic thing to do."

"... Your designation."

"I can't escape how I was created. Not like a User can. You understand, right??"

Edict reached over and grabbed the man's shoulders. The contact seemed to calm him down.

"Listen, Sayor. Take some breaths. I'm going to go inside and make some tea, or coffee, or something. I know you don't drink, but maybe the smell will calm you down. I'll be right back."

Edict · 2025-09-01T15:56:12Z

The pair sat long into the hours of the night, holding their hot beverages and staring into the fire. Calling the caffel root a coffee substitute was like boiling dirt and calling it a meal. The resulting beverage was so thin that Edict could see the bottom of the mug, even in the dim light of the fire. But the beverage had calmed Sayor. He sat hunched forward, with his nose practically perched on the edge of his cup. By the time the sun began to rise, Sayor sported his soft smile again.

"Thank you for stopping by. Feel free to send Users my way—I really enjoy meeting people. But also, don't say too much about my, ah, escape, if you can help it? You never know what Cardinal hears."

"You never know," Edict repeated. "This was good. Thanks for the caffel root drink."

"But you hated it."

"Thanks, anyways."

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:00:49Z

--The Ferryman--

The forest was much easier to navigate in the day, dull however the light was. Edict moved east at a determined pace, following Sayor's directions.

Follow the sun until you hit the river. If you don't see the ferry house, walk south until you find it. The only other way around the river will add half a day of walking, and take you through some peculiar mob spawns. And you're way too underleveled to risk those. Your luck has held out this far, but it's only a matter of time.

"Sometimes, pragmatism isn't what you want to hear." Edict grunted as he made his way through some prickly underbrush. It pulled at his cape and travelling clothes, snagging and tearing as he walked. "Maybe I should have picked up the Tailor profession. At this rate, I'm gonna deliver the sword naked." It was jokes or despair, and Edict chose jokes while he still had the strength.

The underbrush ended, and Edict stumbled out of the forest and along a riverbank. To his relief, a ramshackle wooden hut stood in the distance. A grizzled old ferryman noticed him and gave a gruff hello.

"Morning, sir. Can I use your ferry?"

Get across the river however you can. Use the ferry if it's possible. Swim if you have to, although the things in the water might kill you. Just don't take the quest. Sayor's cryptic command puzzled Edict. He wasn't a completionist, but the thought of leaving someone's plight unanswered upset him. He would have to come back and help the man later.

"No, you can't." The ferryman's curt reply shocked Edict. "I can pay you," he offered.

"No is no, boy. Learn your manners." The ferryman spat some foul brown jerky into the mud. The smell was so atrocious that it made Edict's stomach turn, even from a distance.

Edict approached the ferry to test it out. It was little more than logs lashed together, and a flimsy pole that threatened to break upon hitting the first sharp rock. Was this really supposed to get him across? The ferryman spoke again. "Now, I reckon there is something you can do." His head jerked upwards, as if directing Edict to the quest icon above his head.

Just don't take the quest. Edict stepped onto the raft to test it out.

"Hey! You can't do that!" A dialog box appeared in Edict's HUD. <<Warning: this item belongs to Donner the Ferryman.>>

"Ah, shit." An orange marker? It would technically be stealing. It was absurd for the long arm of Cardinal's law to extend to the most lawless floor yet. Still... Edict stepped off the raft.

"You're a rude boy, you know that?" Donner eyed him suspiciously. "Stepping on people's stuff without asking. What, you think she isn't river worthy?"

"I'm sorry. I'm... a big fan of ferries?"

"The hell you are," Donner grumbled. "Tell you what, you can make it up to me. I'll even take you across."

The man's persistence concerned Edict. Sayor's vague warning didn't help either. But right as he debated swimming across, he swore a whale-sized shadow crossed the water and promptly vanished. Sayor had to be joking about that swim.

"So what do you say?" The ferryman grinned. "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

"...What do you need?"

The man's grinned widened even further, stretching ear to ear. Another dialog box appeared.

<<Accept Quest: Donner's Party>>

Edict groaned. "Are you serious?"

Edited 58 minutes ago by Edict

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:03:44Z

So far, the quest had been nothing but running into the woods for, well, wood. The first round required him to fetch pliant wood. “You see how my poor river pole is at its end. Fetch me some more wood so I can make a new one.” The man even gave him a small, brass amulet that gushed a sickeningly sweet smoke.

“I gotta hand it to the Devs, the localization team is top-notch. And the pun, Donner’s Party? I wonder how that carries through Cardinal’s language engine.” Not to mention the American history reference in a global video game with a largely Eastern audience. How many of them would know about the infamous Donner party?

Edict slung another massive log over his shoulder. His HUD updated cheerfully. <<Fetch Sturdy Logs 2/3>>

“Be a lot cooler if these fit in my inventory. I guess I should be grateful the game gives me weirdly superhuman strength. But only when it’s convenient?” It was best not to think about it. Even if he could carry the logs, it certainly winded him. He watched his energy bar run down, little by little.

“So the first round of wood makes me complacent.” Edict thought out loud. “The second round tires me out. So the third round is where he makes his move and tries to kill me.”

Another log over the shoulder, and Edict’s feet sank an inch into the mud. His energy bar protested again. “C’mon, Cardinal, we’re almost there. I just need a little more oomph to get back. And then you can have the weird NPC eat me.”

Edict cracked jokes, but he had no plans to be on the menu. A myriad of thoughts and preventative measures rotated through his mind like a sushi buffet. Would it be possible to kill the man? He had no way of knowing until a health bar appeared. Given that this was the highest floor, Edict cautiously anticipated that Donner would be too hard to kill. Maybe he could get the drop on the man? He was unnaturally large. With any luck, that would mean he was slower. But in Sword Art Online, size didn’t correlate with speed. Each option he presented was a crapshoot at best. But a crapshoot was better than swimming the river with whatever was going to eat him. And it was probably better than whatever spawning grounds were on the southern detour. The southern detour would take him too close to the Black Sea, and something about the endless expanse scared him. The one time he had ventured close, his mind swirled with dark and evil thoughts, thoughts he could not shake until he left. If he could not cross the ferry with a ravenous cannibal chasing him, then the detour was his only option.

He had already tried leaving the quest area with the repelling amulet. Edict knew the idea was too good to be true, so he was unsurprised when, far enough south from the boathouse, Donner appeared from behind some trees. “You’re going the wrong way, friend!” The words were friendly, but the tone was clear: you can’t leave. You’ll regret it.

Edict slung the sturdy logs down at Donner’s feet. He rubbed his hands together. “Alright! Sorry about them being so big. The raft loses logs every once in a while, and it’s always good to have some spares on hand.”

“I thought you said the raft was a worthy vessel.” Edict tensed up, ready for the comment to set the man off, or the next quest objective to spell his doom.

“Ok then. Just need one more thing from you…”

His hand clutched the sword. Even under wraps, the song rose into the air. If Donner noticed it, he ignored it.

“Just a little more wood from you, and then we’ll be ready to take the ferry across.”

<<New Objective: Fetch Aromatic Wood 0/3>>

“More wood? That’s it?” Edict sputtered.

“Yea, and this stuff is actually fairly easy to get. There’s a cove just north of here full of those thick, stubby trees. Make sure you get the logs with nice, red coloring on the wood. The darker the grain, the better the smoke.”

Edict backed away to the north, still holding the sword under wraps. He wasn’t out of the woods yet. Figuratively, that is. Literally he was out of the woods. Except he was going back to the woods to get more wood. I hate this quest, but why the hell did Sayor tell me to not take it? The man was talented at reading players, but that didn’t mean the NPCs were all bad. It’s not like Donner had a NerveGear for him to read. The quest was probably dangerous, sure; but it was shaping up to the least lethal of the quests. And Sayor would have warned him if the quest were dangerous. He’d warned him about traveling south, at least.

“I’m starting to think this is all a big prank.” But his hand did not leave the sword until he had made it to the northern grove.

Edited 56 minutes ago by Edict

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:05:01Z

Edict dumped the aromatic wood on the ground at Donner’s feet. His hand returned to the sword.

“Ah, you’re a good kid after all.” Donner scooped up the wood, and the quest objective faded from Edict’s HUD. “I guess I was wrong about you.”

“So we’re good? I can take the ferry across?”

Donner beat his breast. “I’m a man o’ my word, I am. You go and get yourself settled on the raft, and I’ll be right down. I’ve just got something to take care of first.”

Here it is. The other shoe is about the drop. Edict nearly drew the sword. He shook from a mixture of fear and exhaustion.

But Donner, good to his word, turned around with a cheerful hum, and walked back to the boat house. Edict glanced at the raft behind him. I bet he sabotaged the raft. It’ll sink once I set foot on it.

It’s not always the worst case scenario, Edict. But the angel’s words from his shoulder rang sounded weak. Let’s split the difference. I’ll walk with him to the boathouse, and I can make sure he gets on the ferry first. In the time Edict took to plan, the man had walked to the far side of the building. Edict heard the sound of a wooden door creaking open, and he snuck around to follow Donner inside.

Edict froze at the entrance. The muffled screams told him this was not a boathouse.

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:09:29Z

Donner busied himself like a maid at work. He scooped ashes and delicately arranged aromatic logs in the central fire pit. All the while, whistling a cheerful tuneless tune. He checked the blackened walls, running a fastidious finger up a few of the planks to ensure the airflow was just right. Then, he reached up to check the meathooks for any stains or rusting. Rusty hooks weren’t food-grade, after all. Finally, Donner walked over to the corner of the room, crouched down on his haunches, and peeled a burlap sack off the whimpering man.

“Ah, the blood’s just about collected, I think. Now hold still.” Shifting his weight, Donner grabbed a long, sharp knife from his belt. “This’ll hurt. But you taste better fresh.”

The curse was involuntary. Donner looked back to see Edict, frozen in the doorway. He prepared for a fight then and there, but Donner merely beamed. “Ah, so you wanted to see how the sausage was made!” The cannibal stood up, gesturing to the room.

“A smoke house.” Edict whispered. Why hadn’t he seen it before.

“Best in the land!” Donner pranced around the small room, pointing and showing off the inside like a child with a new toy. “Look at these walls. I spent decades getting the airflow just right. And the firepit is a work of art. Not many people know this, but the depth of the fire pit is crucial to a steady, even heat from the hard wood. And the aromatic wood…” Donner mimed a chef’s kiss. “It’s really the cherry on top.”

The upside-down man in the corner begged Edict silently with unfocused eyes. Depending on how long he had been upside down, he was probably close to unconsciousness. And two others hung beside him, burlap masks still covering their face. They each wore strange white robes with red and black fringe. In their position, the robes flopped down over them, bundled out of their faces so that they could breathe.

“I’m telling you, it’s the best goddamn jerky you’ll ever eat.” Donner had moved to a darker corner of the smokehouse. Edict saw him reach for a large slab of meat—too dark for definite shapes, thank god—and Donner tore off a strip. A familiar aroma hit his nostrils, and Edict doubled over, almost vomiting on the spot.

“You get used to the smell. And the taste.” Wet, smacking sounds filled the room, followed by another ripping noise. “But hey, it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there! Pardon the pun.”

A hand appeared in Edict’s vision. A long, limp strip of brown flesh dangled from Donner’s fist. “Go on, give it a try. Once you get the first bite down it’ll

The Sword flashed before Edict realized what had happened. The jerky dropped the floor, hand in tow.

Hastily, Edict chopped the three men down and pulled the masks off of them. “You need to get out of here. Can you run?” They all nodded, still dazed as the blood rushed back to where it belonged. “Good, get out of here. Now!”

A bloodcurdling scream tore through the shack. The men covered their ears. Edict winced, but stood, placing the sword between him and the enraged cannibal. Does this sword even have stats? Should I be wielding it right now?

Donner plunged his stump into the fire. He was no longer cheerful; his face was consumed by abject rage, and the low coals glinted red in his black, beady eyes. “You fucking bastard,” he growled. “After I offered you food under my roof! And a trip across the river! All for fetching some wood!”

And turning a blind eye to this. Edict tried to move around Donner to the entrance, but the man lunged for him. Edict tried swinging the sword, but the man was too fast. Yet again, SAO proving that size and speed were just constructs of imagination in Aincrad.

“Fucking—run already!” Edict now yelled at the captives. They were finally coming to their senses, but were moving slowly. Donner rolled on top of Edict, pinning him to the ground with his good hand. A thin line of spittle rolled off Donner’s lips as he spoke. “I’m going to bleed you slowly, you—you fucking animal. I tried being nice. Food! I offered you food! Does the hospitality of bread and salt mean nothing to men anymore?!”

Edict swatted desperately at the man’s hand wrapped around his throat. Cardinal taunted him with the casual warning. <<Asphyxiation: 00h00m15s>> The light faded as the timer flicked down, second by second. All of this, just to save some NPCs? He could have been on the other side of the river if he’d just let the damn story run its course and let the game cannibalize itself. Now, he was dying.

Light and feeling rushed back into his body; Donner appeared stunned. The one remaining man in robes stood behind Donner with one of the meathooks. The tip pierced Donner’s sternum, leaving an angry red circle on the front of his chest. For once, Edict was relieved to see Cardinal’s censorship at work. The nameless man took one last terrified look into the smokehouse, and fled.

The sneak attack had given Edict enough time to scrabble away from Donner. Despite his new shackle, the chain had not been winched back up to the ceiling, giving him free reign of the room. And Donner’s injuries had only heightened his strength and fury. A right hook nearly took Edict’s head off and blew a side in the smokehouse. Edict thought he would lament over the damage, but Donner was too deep in his rage to offer words at this point. Instead, a wordless howl punctuated every movement and punch.

Donner’s movements slowed. After a wild haymaker, Edict managed to move behind his opponent and clutch the other side of his chain. Yelling, Edict pulled the chain down with all of his might. The recognition in Donner’s eyes was instant. “You cheeky—”

The cannibal now dangled in the center of the smokehouse, directly over the firepit. The fight had scattered loose embers and charcoal. Fire now consumed the building, creeping away from the fire pit like hungry rats.

“You! Rude boy!” Digital blood poured from the man’s grinning face. “You win! Do me one last favor, yea? Once the place burns down, come back inside and grab a bite of me. I bet I taste delicious.” Donner brayed with laughter at his own joke.

Edict watched until the place was nothing more than ashes. Cardinal told him when it was time to leave.

<<Quest failed: Donner’s Party>>

The raft had disappeared with Donner’s death. When it rains, it pours. Edict grabbed the wrapped Sword and journeyed south.

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:14:24Z

--Me Next! Me Next!--

The ruins of the smokehouse lay behind Edict, but the images persisted. The wooden walls took to the flame naturally, feeding the greedy conflagration until the entire house was one large campfire. Smoke billowed and rose into the black clouds above, coating the entire landscape in soot. Worse than the images were the sounds. Edict recalled the snapping of dry timber, and crackling of the dried flesh as it flaked to ashes, and Donner, laughing and screaming as his world burned down around him. Until, with a hellish roar, the roof collapsed, and all that remained was the steady heat of the coals. The eerie silence of the marshes was soothing by comparison.

"I guess Sayor was right about that quest. Here's hoping he was wrong about something." "Peculiar spawning grounds" were the words he had used. Did that mean the mobs were terrifying? Prolific? Powerful? "No choice but to find out." Traveling south along the river, the ground grew softer as the sounds of the sea rose. The trees here were all rotted and lifeless, and the fens stank of sulfur and corpses. Edict breathed deeply, trying to clear the sickly sweet smoke from his lungs.

A flash of white caught his eye. It lay ahead of him, hiding conspicuously behind a particularly thin tree. "Hello?" The response came in the form of the distant sounds of scuffling. The white dot scurried out from behind the tree, running further away, along Edict's path.

It had been man-shaped, but Edict knew a monster's health bar when he saw it. Careful to not reveal the Sword (it called out loudly when it was unwrapped, and grew louder the closer he was to the end), Edict trudged towards the strange white blob's hiding space. When he arrived at the tree, he saw a pair of muddy footprints heading south. "Guess I'll find out soon enough."

Whispers reached his ear. Edict whipped around to see nothing in particular. When he turned around, the white dot appeared again, but a little closer than before. Edict could see a tan face, but he was too far away to observe features.

"It's not too late to leave." He spoke aloud. The words carried with a false confidence. He hoped the monsters would hear (and understand him), but in truth, the words were directed at himself. He could turn around. Finding help would be the most prudent option here. Another full party like last time, and no spawning grounds would be too deadly. But time was now a commodity of necessity, not luxury. It had taken him hours to make it this far, and turning back would cost him the rest of the day. Even if he hurried back to Sayor's cabin, he would risk traversing those woods in pitch black darkness. And then what? He would stay in the safety of the man's cabin until...?

Something in the swamp tittered with laughter. Edict jumped, pulling the Sword from the rags. "Alright, come out! I'm tired of this."

The white dot peered from behind a bush half its height, waited for a moment, and then began to walk towards Edict. The Sword cried out, ready to defend its wielder.

"Ooh, it's shiny."

"—Can I touch it? Just the tip—"

"You idiot, that's the part that hurts—"

"Why do you think I wanna touch it?!"

The voices surrounded him, and were now attached to white-robed men, similar to the ones Edict had rescued from the smokehouse. Each had identical health bars and names. <<Mad Cultist HP 500/500 DMG 150 MIT 20 EVA 2 ACC 2>>

Mobs. Dangerous mobs, and a lot of them to boot. But they weren't attacking outright, so he still stood a chance. Edict plotted his escape as the Cultist in front of him walked closer.

"Salutations! Salutations, friend! This is a fine day indeed! Please put that sword away; we mean you no harm."

Edict glanced from cultist to cultist. Mobs that didn't attack on sight were rare, but not unheard of. Mobs that told you they weren't attacking you?

"Please, we are honored to have you here. Our town is quite a ways from the main settlements, so we don't see many of your kind here."

"My kind?"

"Jeweled mobs, of course!"

"Jeweled... Oh, you mean the player cursor?"

"Ah, a cursor gem. I am unaware of such a stone, but we bask in your wisdom." The other cultists bowed and muttered. Edict caught smatterings of them repeating "cursor jewel" and "wisdom." This is getting a little too weird for me. But if they aren't hostile yet...

"Um. You there. Mad Cultist?"

The spokesman of the group bowed. "Please, Mad Cultist was my father. Call me Frannarf.”

Edict blinked. "Frannarf, sure. Strange question. Is there a dungeon, or like, a labyrinth nearby?"

Frannarf bounced up and down as he spoke. "Yes, yes! The one with the Ancient God's Corpse guarding the Pedestal of Kings?"

"That's the one, I think." So these weirdos probably worship the Dragon's Corpse then? Best not to piss them off by asking questions about it. "Could I... go there? And pay my respects?"

"You certainly can, yes sir." Frannarf scratched his chin. "An odd request, but we can send you on your way. But first..."

Edict was certain that he was about to fight for his life. This time, for sure.

"Would you drop by our little village? We'd love to ask you all sorts of questions. Maybe show you around a little bit. We owe you, after all!"

Three of the faces, once generic, now stood out in stark contrast. Edict realized that he hadn't rescued NPCs. He had rescued trash mobs. The one that had placed the meathook in Donner spoke as he bowed. "I am Gnung. These are Illilli and Skuks. We owe you our eternal lives." The two others bowed in unison.

"Eternal lives" was certainly an ominous choice of words. But would refusing them draw the aggro he was trying to avoid in the first place? Maybe these were normal cultists. Those existed. Right?

"I'll stop by your village for a little while. Could we maybe discuss directions on the way in?" So I have them when I need to bail on short notice. "So I have more time to answer your questions."

"Of course, of course! Oh this is so exciting. Illilli, go get everything set up for our guest. I've got a few pointers for you as we walk. There are some noticeable landmarks that will easily guide you the rest of the way there. But the Ancient God doesn't like visitors. If you're still sure, then we'll begin."

Edict strolled into the mob's village, right in the middle of a dozen mobs that could kill him with a single swipe. But all they wanted to was chat. For now.

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:19:17Z

Edict sat in a dilapidated building that once passed for a schoolhouse. Forlorn winds whistled through the holes and cracks, and steady drips of water fell into a rusty bucket in the corner. It was one of the six buildings in the location the Cultists claimed as their town.

"This is... cozy," Edict offered.

"We were really holding out for a desecrated church," Gnung explained. "But we got a firm no on that. There's a quota on desecrated churches per floor, and the last open slot went to the Mad Cultist sect up near Miremore."

"They aren't even real cultists," Skuks griped. "They just wear the robes and chant at breakfast and dinner. They even made up their own knock-off cosmic horror to worship because 'they were tired of the mainstream entities.”

"Preaching to the mad choir, Skuks. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Anyways, no desecrated church for us, so we had to make do with the schoolhouse. Frannarf cooked up some quick evil symbology to give it an unhallowed feel."

"It's just your name scrawled on the walls in blood. And some weirdly drawn capital S's."

"Red paint. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get that much blood out of a mob. Especially considering we don't bleed. And it's not my name! It's my name written backwards."

Edict blue-screened as he processed Gnung's comments. "But. Your name is the same backwards and forwards."

"Well yea, but when you spell things backwards, it's more evil. Everybody knows that." Gnung narrowed his eyes. "For a jeweled mob, you don't know a whole lot about good and evil."

"I—What?" Edict's voice caught an edge of indignance. "I know enough about evil to know that a Cannibal was about to bleed you and eat you!"

"I guess. Thanks again for that, by the way. Dying outside of the village is a real pain." Gnung had offered the last statement like small talk over drinks. It was the way you talked about your second-favorite team losing the game last night.

"Dying outside the village? What the hell does that mean?"

"Maybe a demonstration would clarify." Procuring the long, wavy knife from his belt, he called Skuks over. Laying the cultist's chest across the school desk, Gnung rammed the knife through his friend, pinning him to the table.

"Oh, you rascal." Skuks rolled his eyes. "And I wanted to be part of the festivities tonight."

"Next time, buddy. We’ll be sure to invite our friend back." Gnung retrieved the knife and stabbed Skuks in the throat for good measure. They laughed together until Skuks lost the last bit of his health, and shattered into red pieces.

<<Kill Mad Cultists 1/20>>

Edict remained speechless as Gnung cleaned himself up and sheathed the knife. He hadn’t accepted any quests! Did it trigger by proximity? "We come back at midnight every night. Just sort of—oooOOooOoo." Gnung pantomimed rising from the ground like a ghost, then chuckled. It was Edict who was white as a sheet.

"Oh come on, jeweled mobs LOVE killing other mobs! That's why you're so popular here. Basically apex predators. It's awesome."

"’Love’ is a strong word, I think. Am—am I in danger?" Edict hadn't meant to say the last part out loud. But the absurdity of the situation left him unable to contain his thoughts.

"No! No no no. Nonononono. Absolutely not. Never. Well, maybe not 'never.' But not here. We're all big fans of you, personally. Wouldn't dream of killing you.”

"And... This isn't like a Hotel California situation? You know, 'you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave?"

Gnung shrugged. "I've never heard of a California. Sounds terrible. I mean, you can leave. But we'll be really sad if you're gone before the festivities tonight."

"Skuks mentioned that..." Edict tried not to notice the scarring left on the desk. "So are you going to kill me then?"

"No!" Gnung sounded offended. "We already said we didn't want to kill you."

"Or trap me."

"Or trap you."

"Or eat me?"

"Oh horrors no, we taste terrible. I imagine you do too." Edict's eyes grew wide. "Listen, it was all agreed on. You see how many times you can die and keep things interesting. We had a bet going around about who tasted the best. Turns out we all taste the same, and we all taste like shit."

"So if you aren't going to kill me, or imprison me, or eat me... Then what are you going to do?"

"Nothing! To you. You're perfectly safe," Gnung cut off Edict's protest. "I'd stake it on my life."

"Doesn't mean much when you get to spend that once a day." Gnung cracked a smile. "Now you're getting it! But I swear; we're not going to do anything to you. We're just excited to have you around."

"So can I leave?"

"How many times do I have to say it before it sinks in? Cthulhu almighty, are all the jeweled mobs this dense?"

I'd wager that none of the "jeweled mobs" have ever had random spawns fawning over them.

"Listen, let me give you the tour around town. Won't take long, seeing as how you've visited one of our six buildings. If we wrap up and you're still unhappy, then we'll send you on your way early. The festival tonight won't be the same without you, but I'm sure another jeweled mob will come along. It's only a matter of time!"

Edict weighed his options. Directions and assistance would be very helpful right now. And Gnung had sworn up and down to his safety. Besides, if there were some strange trick or ruse in the works, the mobs would have already sprung it, right? But deep down, Edict was feeling plain nosy.

"Alright Gnung. Let's go on a walk.”

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:26:22Z

"So this is the town! Best to let me take the lead. We like our practical jokes. Fun for us—not so fun for you." A nameless figure disappeared into the small shack behind them, and a sturdy *shhhhhhck-WHUMPF* erupted from inside.

<<Kill Mad Cultists 2/20>>

Nearby cultists hooted and cheered. Gnung sniffed, and wiped a tear from his eye. "Ah, the threshold guillotine. A classic."

"Ok—definitely sticking behind you."

"Not too far behind. Some of the pranks are a little finicky. They go off late."

"Got it. Not too close, not too far. So... how far behind you, exactly?"

"Ah, it's trial and error. You'll—well, I guess you won't figure it out, will you? Jeweled mobs only get the one life."

At this point, Edict believed they didn't mean to cause him harm. But whether or not he'd end up dead was another question entirely. Perhaps it wasn't too late to leave.

"Maybe we just avoid the buildings entirely. You can see them all from here anyways. We'll do a quick rundown. The shack behind us is the bar. Don't drink there-most of the selection gives you dysentery. Real slow death. But sometimes you're feeling a little adventurous, right? And you've already been in the school-I mean, our 'desecrated church.'" Gnung punctuated the term with loud finger quotes. "And let's see... empty stable, empty bakery, empty grain silo, and Restaurant." Gnung pointed to each of the remaining structures in turn.

"Just 'Restaurant'?"

"Yea, we couldn't really come up with a good name. Plus, we don't need to eat food. I think some of the aimless Cultists drop by from time to time and pretend to run a business. Nothing like working in a restaurant to make you wish for death, you know what I mean?" Gnung moved in to elbow him, and Edict jumped backwards to dodge it. Friendly or not, Gnung was still a mob. Some irrational part of his brain worried that any contact lighter than a handshake would register as damage. And at his level, a sneeze would probably do him in.

"Tough crowd. That's alright, I don't think I had a real sense of humor until my fourth or fifth death. Sad we won't get to see yours, I bet you're a really funny guy after you die once or twice."

"You would think so." Edict muttered under his breath. Gnung decided to ignore the offhand comment, and walked them down to the beach, whistling a happy funeral dirge. Edict was careful to place his feet in the footprints the Cultist left behind.

"And here's the dock. It's not a building, but we're close enough that I might as well show it off." Gnung pointed to a series of rotten planks that barely made it into the water. One large wave would probably turn it into driftwood. "We do have a boat here for fishing, but we don't eat fish much. The fish have a tendency to eat us first."

"Don't you just come back?"

"Yes, but it's outside the village.”

"That's right." Edict pulled up the chat logs in his brain. "You said it's a real pain. So does that mean you're gone for good?"

"Eh, it just takes an extra day to spawn."

Gnung had yet to stop surprising him. "You're just mad that it takes another day to come back?!"

"Annoyed is probably a better word. But it's a whole day without seeing my friends!"

"Didn't you just stab one of your friends to death?"

"It's called 'affection.' I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable displaying love towards others. Masculinity doesn't mean you have to close yourself off from others, you know."

Edict didn't even know how to respond to that one. Best just to let it go.

"So that's the whole town! It's not such a bad place, really. As long as you don't need basic necessities like food and water and shelter. Any questions for us?"

Edict's questions about the labyrinth entrance had already been answered. He could basically follow the shoreline and make it there in a day or two. A frustrating length of time, but the only shorter path would be traversing the Black. And he did not need Frannarf's advice to know that route was a last resort. With his path in mind, Edict's curiosity piqued. How often did he get to talk to mobs?

"How do you all keep each other sorted? I mean, I don't want to be rude, but you all look pretty similar." Edict was being tactful—as far as he could tell, the two dozen cultists all shared about three or four default faces.

“Not rude at all. We've been around each other long enough to suss each other out. It's like a gut feeling, you know. I just look at one of the others and it's like, ‘yea, that's definitely Carlrac.’”

"That's another thing. What's with the names?"

"I mean, we tried going by numbers, but 'Mad Cultist 23' just doesn't have the same ring, right? One day, Frannarf was just like, 'hey, I think I want to be called Frannarf,' and the rest of us went along with it. Eventually, everyone picked out a name! They're all pretty good names. Except I think lilli is kind of weird. It sounds like a girl's name."

"It makes me feel pretty." A cultist (presumably Illilli) had snuck up behind them. His response gave a vague sense of petulance.

"I still think you should try out a beefier boy name. Something like 'Rammer' or 'Kremmerk."

"Are all your names palindromes?" Edict interrupted what was fast becoming an argument. Illilli had puffed up, ready to defend himself. Gnung took the distraction without thinking. “It feels right, you know? We die, we get born again, we die. Plus, the names all have the added benefit of sound the same when you look at them from above. For example, mine goes like ####." Gnung made a noise that sounded like a cross between an animal dying and a dial-up modem. Illilli cut in. "And mine is *&*&." A shooting sensation sent his skin crawling, and Edict rubbed the nape of his neck. It was like someone had stuck a pithing needle into his spine. He hoped the others wouldn't be inclined to share their pronunciation.

The effect on Gnung, however, was very different. He looked at Illilli with a soft sense of wonder. "You know, it is a pretty name."

Illilli paused, unsure of what to say. Gnung pressed the advantage to finish digging the hole. "You should still give Kremmerk a try. That's a good one, I think."

"Ugh. You're the worst!" Illilli began to storm off before remembering something. He whipped around. "I came down here to tell you Frammarf has everything set up and we're ready to go. Bring the jeweled mob back up whenever you're done. You can go sit on the pier for all I care. I hope you live."

"Aw, Illilli, don't be mean. I'm sorry, you don't have to try out new names, I just think—" Gnung made it about three paces towards Illilli before he remembered his guest. "Um, the festivities are ready."

"I know. We're like, three paces from the town. I've been watching them hang streamers the entire time."

"Oh, yea. Well, just come on by when you're ready. I've got to go." Without waiting for a response, Gnung dashed off after Illilli, consoling him as best he could.

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:31:03Z

Frannarf gathered all of the town's cultists into the town square. There were more than Edict had expected; about fifty or so by his count. And based on the quest he had somehow picked up, they were missing five more. The practical jokes had been light today—they were eager to make it to the evening festivities.

"My fellow Cultists! Our festivities tonight are marked by a special guest! We have our very first Jeweled mob! He, our... hm." Gnung turned and whispered to Edict. "What's your name again? Don't think I ever got it."

"Edict."

"Oh wow, that's terrible. Can I just call you Eedee? Sounds a lot better." Edict shrugged, Nothing could phase him at this point.

"Our very own jeweled mob: Eedee!" The cultists burst into applause. One in the front row was excited enough to stab himself. Not hard enough to finish the job, though.

"Eedee is here from Illridge and beyond, along with all of the other jeweled mobs. He is a fierce purveyor of violence, and a staunch killer of all things, big and small!" The crowd continued to cheer. Edict tried to contain his discomfort. Surely I've done more than kill things?

"Cultists of all shapes and face models, we've died a hundred horrific ways. Mashed, boiled, exploded, cursed, chopped, twisted in half-but never, have we ever had the opportunity to be slain by one of the jeweled mobs themselves!!"

Oh, oh no. Edict tensed up. This was about to turn into a bloodbath. He was sure he wouldn't be able to handle a dozen of them, and now they were all here in one place. There was certainly no escape now.

Gnung turned to Edict, opened his arms and closed his eyes. "Do it. Run me right through. Oh, this is so exciting!"

A hush fell over the audience. They waited for Edict's response.

"I would, um, I would rather not."

The atmosphere shifted from reverent to awkward almost immediately. Gnung opened one eye. "Care to run that by me again?" He didn't sound angry; just confused.

"I, um... I don't think I want to."

The audience began to whisper among themselves. Gnung shushed them before turning back to Edict. "Eedee, work with me here. You're a jeweled mob. The top of the food chain! You're a mob-slaughtering machine! You eat health and spit col! I bet you've slain hundreds-no, thousands of mobs!"

"Maybe not thousands..."

"Come one, just a few more. Kill me. Pretty please?! I drop good loot. Really good loot."

"I think you're lying."

"You won't know unless you split me open. C'mon, Eedee, split me open like a big, soggy meat Pinata."

The mental image gagged Edict. And how did he know about Pinata’s anyways? "Maybe a rain check? I mean, I'm not a killer."

Gnung pointed above Edict's head. "But your jewel..."

"My...? Oh, for fuck's sake." How had he not noticed? His cursor glowed a soft orange. "That's not even fair!" It must have turned when he lashed out at Donner, who hadn't technically attacked him yet. And checking his HUD or cursor was the last thing on his mind during the fight. Did he really earn an infraction for killing a deranged cannibal?!

"Just a few more deaths, Eedee," Gnung begged. "We've never had a jeweled mob kill us. We're so far out of the way that no one comes by here. So give us all a little light stabbing. Or burning, or head injury. The method really isn't important. All we want is for you to do the honors."

"Please don't ask me to do this." Concern dominated his voice. "It feels really weird.”

“Not as weird as getting stiffed on a jeweled mob willing to split you head to toe!"

“I can’t believe you’re getting mad at me for this!” Edict cried.

The crowd whipped up into a frenzy. The front-row cultist shouted angrily, and stabbed himself again.

<<Kill Mad Cultists 6/20>>

“STOP—KILLING EACH OTHER!” Edict hollered, trying to quell the crowd. But it only enraged them further.

"I bet he's not actually a jeweled mob! It's just a trick! I bet those hipster cultists sent him down here as a prank!"

"Yea! Someone get up there and yank the stupid thing off his head! It's probably just a headband or something."

Gnung pleaded with Edict. "You gotta give me something to work with here. Maybe just a limb? Those grow back."

"I—"

But the chance to bargain had passed. The entire cult stormed the stage, eager to tear the cursor from Edict's head or die trying. Gnung did his best to stop them. "Hey—hey now! He's a guest, and we said—I said—"

Hand wrapped around Gnung’s throat. Illilli was at the front of the throng, throttling him. "How's THIS for masculine?! Tell me to pick a different name again, I swear to Cthulhu I'll feel pretty, with or without your permission!" Gnung's eyes bulged, his attention now entirely on Illilli. Gnung’s new friend had been lost in the mass that had pushed up on the platform, grabbing and tearing at anything and everything in reach. His beautiful orange jewel vanished in the rolling mass of cultists.

Gnung felt the familiar pull of death as Illilli held him down. The wavy knife had made it out of Gnung’s belt, and he held the point close to Illilli's heart. But he waited to thrust. The sharp metal pushed slowly through the thin white cloth, and Illilli halted, shivering at the touch of cold steel on his chest. His hands relaxed to give Gnung one breath; enough to stay alive a little longer. And then Illilli dropped onto the knife, gasping as the blade dragged his health bar down to zero.

Gnung's last thought (for the day) was a simple one. I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me. As the pair died in each other's arms, nameless voices shouted about the commotion.

"Hey, look at the boat! Eedee went out into the water! Shouldn't we go after him??"

"Are you kidding? That's suicide! Count me out."

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:34:30Z

--Doldrums--

Edict found himself wishing for the rain. In its absence, a stifling humidity settled over the boat. It pressed down on his chest as he lay flat in the dinghy, doing his best to recover from… whatever had just happened.

“You know, if I had a nickel for every time I ended up in a tiny boat while carrying this Sword to its resting place, I’d have two nickels.” A dry laugh rocked the boat as Edict finished the joke in his head. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. Humor was the only thing keeping his spirits afloat. After being forced into the tiny boat, part of him was scared that he wouldn’t make it back to shore. It seemed like forgetting his current predicament was his only option.

With a tentative peek, Edict dragged himself up to the edge of the boat and looked out across the water. Nothing. The black had earned its name—as far as Edict could see, above and below, was darkness. The charcoal-black swathes of clouds, eagerly withholding their rain until the most inconvenient moment. And the water… Edict didn’t think he had a fear of the sea, but he certainly feared this one. Even the thought of dipping one of the oars into the ocean and stirring up some eldritch aquatic god sent him back into the bottom of the boat.

So what am I supposed to do now, then? Do I just wait until the boat carries me back to shore? …. Will the boat carry me back to shore?

Edict peaked out again. More darkness. The boat shifted suddenly; Edict retreated instantly.

I think I’m screwed.

—--

It took two hours (although the system clock was anything but reliable on this floor), Edict found the courage to stand upright. The darkness still spread out before him, but the lack of noise and movement had encouraged him to place one paddle gently in the water, and then a second. No leviathans yet. Edict began to row.

The lack of map data was beginning to put a strain on his optimism. It would be nice to know where he was going exactly, but all he could tell was where he had been. It wasn’t nothing, but it was not much more helpful.

“So we’re going… South. No wait, east? Or maybe southeast. God dammit, you would think at least the compass would work.” But like the rest of his system functionality on Floor 29, it disappointed. One moment, the map righted itself to the north. But the next time he looked, it had warped subtly, the cardinal directions moving in all the wrong ways.

A squawking sound filled Edict with hope. He began to row with fresh vigor, looking around for whatever bird was signaling land. If he was close, then maybe he was on the right track. Better yet, maybe the detour had somehow saved him a little time.

But as the squawking grew louder, Edict realized that the detour had only just begun. The loud noise, whatever it was, spoke to him.

“Hello? Can you hear me?? I need some help! Please help!”

—--
A lone man bobbed in the vast ocean, suspended by dark planks of flotsam. A tattered quest icon hung above his head.

Don’t do it. Something in Edict shivered at the thought of approaching the man. There is nothing predictable about this floor. You already had one brush with an unwinnable quest on Floor 29. Do you really want to risk a second?

The figure continued to wail, its pleas stopping as the waves rolled over it, over and over again. Even as the boat drew nearer, the cries grew weaker.

“I cannot believe I’m doing this again.” Pieces of shipwreck bumped into the bow of the dinghy as Edict navigated towards the survivor. Part of him raged evenly between whatever person had the audacity to be programmed out in the middle of the ocean with a quest. The other part raged at himself for being too soft. The person was a quest-giver, for god’s sake. They weren’t going anywhere, and they weren’t going to drown.

“Hang on, hang on. I’ve got you.”

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:42:43Z

One final pull heaved the man into Edict’s boat. The waterlogged survivor spat up a surprising amount of saltwater into the boat. Edict fished a mostly intact bucket from the wreckage to bail some of the water. A cheery buzz sounded in his ears.

<<Quest Accepted: The Plight of Thomas Dudley>>

“You saved me life. Name’s Thomas Dudley.”

“I…” Edict sighed. “Thanks, Thomas.”

“Just Tom’ll do.”

“Then why did you—” He sighed harder. “Of course, Tom. What happened to you?” The shipwrecked man peered out into the icy black waters with the requisite sense of fear. “It was the Gargantua, it was. Cut a hole in me ship and picked us off, one by one. I’m all that’s left.”

Great, so I picked up a quest that involves running away from an indescribably large sea monster. Or worse, fighting it.

His menu chirped once more. Edict cast his eyes up to the menu, only to be surprised at the quest requirement.

Queer text <<Return Mr. Dudley to LOCATION_UNDEFINED>>

Well that’s phenomenal. “Tom, we need to get to shore. Do you mind telling me the best place to take you?”

“Of course, of course…” Thomas stood upright, surveying the vast seascape like an ardent frontiersman of old. “That way.”

Edict’s heart plummeted. He was point the direction he had *just* rowed from. “I’m sorry, Thomas—”

“—Tom.”

“Right. Tom.” Edict gritted his teeth. “I can’t go that direction.”

“And why not?”

Tom had an awful lot of nerve for a person that had just been saved from certain doom. Surely he could walk along the shore, wherever Edict ended up? Anyways, he hadn’t started the quest to complete it; he just wanted to save a drowning man. Edict hadn’t realized he was about to rescue a man very particular on exactly how he should be rescued.

But what could he say to Tom? Would he understand the importance of the Sword? It sang to all who could hear, but Tom had yet to make a remark about the swaddled rags in the boat’s stern. Would the sword introduce strange thoughts to Tom? Edict thought it best to not find out.

“We can’t go back that way because Gargantua is back in that direction. We need to get away from it before we can turn around.”

“I suppose that sounds fair.” Thomas plopped down on the side of the boat, upsetting Edict’s careful rowing. “But I do need to make it back to LOCATION_UNDEFINED.”

The way Tom said it added an odd, robotic filter to the absent parameter. Edict found it amusing. “Tom, I'll get you back to ‘Location Undefined’ as soon as we can.”

“‘Location Undefined?’ What are you on about?”

The game was glitching out again. Rather than explain, Edict let the conversation die.

-----

The atmosphere in the boat matched the heaviness of the air around them. Tom hung over the boat, pining for the LOCATION_UNDEFINED that diminished in the distance. At times, he would sigh loudly and shift his weight, causing the entire boat to rock from edge to edge. When Edict nearly lost an oar to a bout of melodrama, he snapped. "I need you to take it easy. Or at least stop moving around so much."

"But I'm not doing anything." Tom pouted, but continued to stare in the direction they had come from.

"You're rocking the boat. Literally."

"So?"

"It attracts monsters." Edict wasn't sure if it actually did; he didn't care.

"Oh." Tom straightened up, taking his elbows from the edge of the stern. "Then I should stop. Wouldn't want to be a Gargantua snack. Terrible way to go. Did you know that it actually has teeth inside its stomach? So even after you're a goner for sure, you can feel-"

"So where are you from, Tom?" The NPC combed Its dialogue banks for an appropriate response. "Oh, you know. Here and there. Mom was from Miremore, dad was from Illridge. I wonder what they're up to. They haven't written in a while."

"I'm sure they're fine." They were dead, if they ever even existed. But he had just stopped rocking the boat, and Edict wasn't about to start it back up with a little rocking of his own.

"What's that?" Tom pointed to the pile of rags covering the Sword.

"You can't hear it?" Oops. The words had slipped out. Would Tom be compelled to take the Sword as well?

"Hear what?" Tom's face screwed up. "Are you feeling alright, my good fellow?"

"Yea, of course. Just a little adventuring joke. There's nothing in the rags. Just a spare sword."

"Oh that could be useful if Gargantua comes back!"

Edict stopped rowing, "Gargantua. The beast that ate your ship in two bites. The creature of immeasurable size and overwhelming power. Versus two men and a spare sword."

"You did say the Sword sings. Can I see it?"

"—No!" Edict nearly yelled as Tom reached for the rags. Tom jerked his hand back.

"Don't unwrap it. It's... it's bad luck to unsheathe a sword outside of combat."

"If you say so." Tom quickly lost interest, and reverted to his mournful sighs to nowhere.

Edict took a moment to lean over the cars. The strain extended beyond what his energy bar indicated, and so he took a moment to rest his aching muscles. He decided not to ask Tom, who would likely find an opportunity to turn the boat around while Edict wasn't paying attention. Over the hours stuck with him, Tom had started to sigh louder and louder. He now stared at Edict every few minutes to offer a firm, "I would like to go back to LOCATION_UNDEFINED."

After an hour punctuated by his timely complaints, Edict's patience had worn bare. "I'd like to do that bud, but wherever it is, it isn't where I'm going."

"You said we weren't going back because that's where Gargantua was!"

Dark waters lapped at the boat while Edict tried to think of a response. Tom filled the silence for him. "You lied to me."

"I... yes, I lied to you. I don't know where Gargantua is. We could be rowing right towards him. He could be on top of us, for all I know."

"You cur!" Tom spat at Edict's feet. "You have the nerve to pick up a poor stranger, and lead him even further away from his goals? What kind of hero are you?!"

"And what kind of NPC are you?!" Edict shot back. "I've never been on an escort quest with such a needy idiot!"

"Oh, so it's needy to want to go home?!"

"It is when you're just a side quest!" The dinghy tilted precariously from side to side as the two men stood and shouted. "You are a side quest. I picked you up because I felt bad for you in the ocean. But I forgot that you're not even a real person! You're just two lines of dialogue stapled to the world's neediest NPC! I am trying to save my friends, and the rest of the people trying to save the players in this fucking death game, and YOU-you are nothing. So sit back down in the boat, and wait until I return the sword. Then you can take the boat and swim back to LOCATION_UNDEFINED. You can get eaten. I don't give a shit what happens to you."

Tom, shocked, sat back down. He folded his arms and began to pout. "You're just a dirty liar and cheat. I bet that's not even a spare sword. It's probably rations-"

"NO!" It was too late; Tom had snatched up the rags and shook them out. The Sword of Kings clattered into the bottom of the boat, took one breath, and then called out to the entire floor. The time it had spent covered seemed to only strengthen the song.

The water underneath them became placid. Even as the wind picked up, the surface of the Black was spotless like a mirror. And then, it growled at them.

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:50:12Z

"You... you brought the beast to us!" Tom threw a punch that caught Edict in the jaw. His already meager health bar dropped. "This is your fault!"

"This is NOT my fault!" Despite his impending death, Edict's attention was entirely on the Aincrad's worst escort NPC. "If you had just sat down—behaved—" Edict brought his forearms up to guard the sides of his face. He didn't want to kill Tom if he had to, but the NPC's sanity was rapidly deteriorating. Spittle flew as Tom threw punch after punch, whittling away at Edict's health. When Tom saw that punches were no longer connecting, he kicked Edict down into the bottom of the Dinghy.

The Black now resonated with a high-pitched whine that made it nearly impossible to think. Dark thoughts flooded Edict's mind. It's kill or be killed, boy. So it's time to kill.

Edict recovered the Sword from the bottom of the boat and held it above, trying to shield himself. Tom fell on top of him, his demeanor far beyond sanity. His words began to twist and chop.

"Mr. Hero t̸͉̭̔͠h̵̤̣̋į̸͓͑n̵̩̐͒k̶͓͝s̷̼̲̔ ̴̰̐͠ he's more important than everyone else! Oh he's got a spare s̵̻̰̹͓̋̾̍̂̇Sw̴̳̅̽ǫ̷̺̭̘̘̌̇͆r̴̫̱̉ď̴̗͚̹̤͖̀̚ that needs ̸͔͓̄̄̋͊́t̶̮͕͉̾́̊̐͜͝ơ̶̠̲̎͌ ̴̡̻̽̽͘͝ͅg̴̳̞͗͋̌͝o̴̢͕̱͛̉̚͜͝͠ ̵͙̮̈́̇b̷̡̧͙̆̚a̸̦͒̎͗́̕c̸̡̭̞̳͂͐͘k̶͓͚̺͙̍̄̾̌̈́͜ ̸̡͖̐̃̆̿į̴̖̥͈̿n̵͉͕̩̊̈t̶͎͋̏̂̌̕ŏ̷͉̞̊̉̿ ̸͍̱̥̌̀̈̚͝a̷̡̞͍̳̰͊̈͌̍͝ ̶̝͌͗̅̏̅f̴̛̛͖͈̔̑ŭ̶̘̺̜͝n̴̹̫͔̉̓̃̊͠ń̷̫̇͛͠ͅy̵͙̔̈͘ ̵̮͕̲̋͗l̵̛̠̘̭̂i̴̝̟̰͌ț̸̨̢͉͂̓̑͌ͅt̷̫̆̌̂̚l̴͍̣̋̎e̵͍̘̯̱͝͠ ̴̥͚͈̓͜r̷̡͔̱͌͝o̶̢͔̩̝͖͆̓̃c̴̢͚̈́̐̉͘͠k̸̝͑́̓́!̸̛̫͈͑́̿ͅ ̸̧̢̗̪̭͛̿S̶̘͌͐̐ȯ̴̰̮́̚ ̷̺͕̩̭͖̆̊̍̾͝T̴̠̜̔̄͐h̸̨̯̩̗̟͆̄̍̚͘ö̸̗̻̫̼́͋͊̎m̴̞̠̖̏͐̏ả̶̢̦̤͂s̵̢̗͉̥̭̈̀ ̵̮̭̓̑̈́̎͊Ď̸̼̫̝̼̔̚͘ừ̵͉̖̥̐d̷̡̈́̇l̶̨̛͇͍̳͈͛̽̎ȩ̴̛̉̆̽͝y̸̻̗̔͛ ̵̡̻̈͊̈̆̚ĉ̶̜̐͗a̴̦̋͝n̶͖̥̿̂̿̌͑͜ ̶̘͎̃̅́͘͝g̵̯͌ͅo̴̗̩̼̊̌͊̾͝ ̶͎̐̄̄̐͒F̶̼̖̜̬͋͆͝Ū̷̗̑Č̵̦̰͎̺̽K̷̡͕̝̩͕̈́̈́ ̶͎̞̅͐̎̑̍h̸̙̲̤͙̱͛͘͠i̴͎̪̩͑m̵̨͍͈͇̉ṣ̷̛̳͕̠̟͋͒͂͌ë̸̱̙͙̪̖l̴̮̅͋̑̀͘f̵̧̙̱̲͉̉—̴̅̄̆̽ͅ"

The entire world shifted sideways. Something large had bumped into the boat, causing it to nearly capsize. Water now rose to Edict's waist. The Sword reintroduced a clarity of thought that the Ocean's whine had stolen from him. Holy shit, I'm about to get eaten. This thing is trying to knock us out of the boat to eat us. "Tom, hang on, you can kill me when we get to shore—"

"I Ď̸̼̫̝̼̔̚͘on't want t̶̮͕͉̾́̊̐͜͝ơ̶̠̲̎͌ ̴̡̻̽̽͘͝ͅg̴̳̞͗͋̌͝o̴̢͕̱͛̉̚͜͝͠ to shore," Thomas snarled. "I want you t̶̮͕͉̾́̊̐͜͝ơ̶̠̲̎͌ ̴̡̻̽̽͘͝ͅ die."

The boat rocked again, buffeted by the massive thing in the depths. The contact had been heavier, and the rocking much more violent. There was now enough water in the boat that it began to sink.

Tom clutched the side of the Dinghy—from the wrong side. Half of Tom remained above the Black as his knuckles turned white, holding on for dear life.

Edict's adrenaline had finally assessed the gravity of the situation. "TOM! Hang on, I'll pull you back in!" Fight or no fight, he had to help. Details would come later.

The pain of the Black made Tom's sanity return all at once. He whimpered as something unseen tugged on his leg. "Please help me. I need some help."

"Tom, I've got you."

But something had fastened Edict's left arm in place. He turned in horror to see a thick brown tentacle wrapped around his arm. The sword fell back into the boat.

"Hero, please—please—"

Edict looked back at Tom. Two large tentacles climbed his body, wrapping themselves around his chest. Smaller tentacles sprouted off from the larger ones, lacing themselves around each of Tom's fingers, Pop, Pop. Crack. They tore his fingers from the boat, one break at a time.

One hand, and one choice. The sword lay in the bottom of the boat, ready to cut his arm free. But other tentacles were four fingers into Tom's release. The other six would follow shortly.

Edict threw himself across the boat. He had to make the distance, even with the tentacle holding him in place. An audible snapped kicked off a cascading feeling of buzzes in the back of his skull. <<Dislocated Shoulder 2h59m>> But those extra inches brought him within reach of the man he had saved, then threatened to kill, and now hoped to save again. Edict's hand came down on Tom's right wrist, catching it as the last finger popped free. "Hang on! Work with me, Tom, and pull on three. One, TWO—"

On two, a barbed tentacle erupted from the water and slithering around Tom's shoulder. In a single squeeze, it popped Tom's arm free of his body, leaving Edict holding onto a vanishing limb.

"I'm" and Tom was gone.

<<Quest Failed: The Plight of Thomas Dudley>>

The whine of the Black took over, and Edict laid down on a bed of writhing flesh and tentacles. Hugging the sword tightly in his final moments, he prayed that the Gargantua did in fact have teeth in its stomach. It was all he deserved.

Edict · 2025-09-01T16:56:26Z

--Waldo's Interlude--

But it was not what he received. Edict coughed up seawater as a weird, fleshy thing pounded his back. He was covered in equal parts water and black goop, and a mixture of seaweed and fish bones flesh from his hair.

Wait. Go back a sentence. What weird, fleshy thing?

Edict jolted awake, rolling away from the strange feeling behind him. He rolled up into a fighting stance, ready to finish off whatever was about to eat him. His left shoulder still hung limp at his side.

A large walrus man stared at him quizzically. Edict stared back. The walrus waited patiently for Edict's next move.

"Are you... here to kill me?"

The walrus shook its head vigorously, its blubber making wet slapping sounds as he did so.

"Eat me?" Another wet shake of the head.

"Drown me? Eat someone else in front of me? Ask me to kill you? Start an unbeatable escort quest?" The walrus man shook his head patiently after each question. Edict pondered if he had missed anything. "I guess, and I know this is a longshot, but are you some self-aware entity from outside the bounds of Aincrad that offers mysterious advice?"

Waldo shrugged. (Edict didn't know how he knew. The thing just looked like a Waldo.)

"You know what? That's fine with me. I'll take it." Edict's defensive posture sagged into exhaustion, and he began to scan the length of the beach. To his eternal relief, doors towered in the distance. The entrance to the labyrinth was here. But the sword was not.

Edict jogged slowly along the sands, but the further he went, the faster he ran. He could not see the sword, or hear it. Now at a full sprint, Edict's anxiety began to mount. He couldn't have lost it, he couldn't have lost the sword "now", he was so close. Out of energy, Edict dropped into a walk, hands on his knees. Waldo stood just behind him; he was much faster than he appeared.

"Sorry Waldo, I'm not running from you." Waldo blubbered understandingly. "I'm looking for a Sword. It's very Important, and I have to find it. Have you seen the Sword?" Waldo blubbered, confused. "You know, the Sword of Kings? It's long and bright and shiny?" But Waldo gave no indication, Edict was on the verge of tears. "It... It sings. You know, all of Cardinal's Creatures can hear it?" Edict did his best to hum what he remembered, but his lone weak voice was less than an echo of the thing's true song. Nevertheless, the tune made Waldo perk up immediately. He blubbered with recognition. "Yes, yes!" Edict continued humming. Waldo now hummed along with him, a wet slappy tune that was surprisingly on point. Hearing Waldo made Edict giddy. "So where is it?? Where is the Sword?"

Waldo blubbered, and waddled back into the Black. "Oh. Ok."

Rescue by a benign NPC was already too much to ask for. He would just have to look on his own. If Waldo had seen the Sword, then there was a chance it was close by. Likely in the water. Swimming the Black was a death sentence, but he had already avoided certain death more than once on this quest. Any extra chances were a mercy bestowed by Cardinal.

One foot in the ocean, and the heat in his shoulder spiked. He cried out in agony as a pain-not a buzz, but actual pain-wound its way up his leg and tightened around his spine. The world lost focus.

<<We did not find you just in time to watch you throw yourself into the ocean. Sit.>>

Stinging needles covered Edict's body, and he fell flat on his back into the surf. The dark skies above opened, dropping a storm on his paralyzed form.

All I want is to finish this quest so I can never come back here.

The next thing he knew, Edict was being dragged from the surf by a pair of familiar, fleshy flippers. As the water receded from his body, the pain subsided and permitted him to stand. Waldo towered above him, Sword of Kings in hand-flippers. It was coated from hilt to tip in a disgusting black ichor, and ornamenting with seaweed and bits of tentacle flesh. But it was still the Sword of Kings. Waldo blubbered proudly.

"You magnificent Walrus, I swear to god I could kiss you. I mean it. If there isn't a Mrs. Waldo, we need to find you one. I'm your wingman for life."

Waldo blubbered, motioning for him to take the Sword. At least there's one good thing about this floor.

Edict took the sword from Waldo, and then tore a swatch of cloth from his cape. "It may not matter, but it feels like it should be clean when we return it." Waldo blubbered in agreement. Carefully, he scrubbed the sword clean, picking away the flesh and seaweed. Once finished, the Sword gleamed bright as ever. "Alright, It's time." Waldo blubbered approvingly.

The imposing black doors opened with the sound of stone on heavy stone. In the darkness, Edict could see a shadow nearly as large as the massive room. A single strand of light, the solitary source of pure light Edict had seen on this floor, beamed down on the Pedestal.

Waldo blubbered, letting Edict know that it was not his place to travel with the player into the final stage of the quest. Edict thought to sway Waldo, but deep down, he understood. "If I could friend NPCs, you'd be getting an invite right now. I think you just singlehandedly saved the frontlines." Waldo blubbered humbly. The two exchanged one final, silent goodbye, and Waldo waddled back into the wilds of Floor 29.

Massive as the room appeared from outside, it was even larger once entered. The shape gave Edict the impression that he was inside a large, symmetrical jewel, except that the top rose so high into the darkness that he could not see it. As the gates shut behind him, the only source of light was the beam focused on the Pedestal.

"A few more steps. And all that's left is a dead dragon. Should be easy."

Then, the dragon spoke.

Edict · 2025-09-01T17:07:46Z

You. Are not Worthy.

The words were a command, simple and inexorable. Edict’s legs froze in place. His eyes darted towards the pedestal. Far as it was, it seemed so close enough after everything that had happened. He could nearly throw the damn sword back into place.

You are. Not Worthy.

The words silenced his own thoughts. They echoed through the room and into his mind, forcing out the parts of him that begged to run or fight. So he responded, careful to keep the tremors out of his voice.

“I’m all that’s left.”

The dragon took a moment to absorb Edict’s response. Then, its corpse sucked in a sharp, rasping breath. One more rasping breath, and then another. Edict realized the thing was laughing. It wheezed out a reply.

You are not.

A sliver of Edict’s fear gave way to annoyance. Unable to sense any immediate danger, he turned around to glance behind. The thing laughed again.

Were this a tragedy, that would seal your fate.

“So are you here to taunt me? Is that it?” Edict felt heat rising in his neck. “You’re not going to kill me.”

Its lifeless, lidded eye snapped open. Not for lack of desire.

The dragon’s milky white pupil dwarfed Edict. Reminded of the thing’s colossal size, his fear once again took over, and he fell silent. The dragon continued to speak.

My place was here. Guardian of the sword. It was *my* responsibility to defend the artifact. And I accepted my role gladly, even though it would cause my death. I indulge the creators—my purpose, my life, is nothing more than an obstacle to the Worthy. And you are not Worthy.

Each word fell into place with the cadence of a person’s final thoughts. The pace was slow but invited no interruptions. Edict was careful to let the dragon finish before speaking.

“But… what do you mean, ‘not worthy’?”

The dragon snorted. You ask a mirror how to look. A mouth, how to eat. A sword, how to kill.

The exhaustion was catching up to Edict, and it left him with little patience for riddles. He attempted to move forward once more, but his feet were still fastened to the ground.

A step in the right direction. But not enough. You are still not worthy.

“I already told you—I’m all you get.”

You hide the sword at every turn. You did not believe yourself worthy to return it. At times you resorted to using it, and it in turn protected you. Yet you still hid the Sword.

"The entire floor wanted the Sword! Every time I showed it, things went wrong."

And yet you survived without ever wondering why. You return the relic out of duty, not belief.

"What does it matter? I'm here, and I'm ready to put this all behind me."

Then, you are not worthy. Waves of condescension assaulted Edict's senses. Even dead, the Dragon's presence refused to allow him forward.

“What does that mean?! Is it a level requirement? Do I not have enough equipment? I’ll—I can go find someone else. I’m sure someone else has whatever stupid in-game requirements you need.” He felt his body release slowly. Cardinal was letting him back away from the dragon.

If you leave, they will die. His body froze; this time, voluntarily.

“The frontlines? That’s ridiculous. I mean, they haven’t lost anyone since… as long as I can remember. They’re hard to kill.”

And Belregor cannot be slain. The dragon’s breath rattled as it composed itself. So long as the sword remains absent, Belregor cannot be slain.

“Then let me return the sword.” Edict brandished the blade, whose light and song grew too powerful for the room. The dragon roared in pain.

You are not Worthy!

“STOP—SAYING THAT!” Edict screamed back. The dragon’s nostrils flared, and Edict swore he felt the thing’s warm breath wash over him. His knees liquified. But with his feet stuck to the ground, he managed to stay up. Edict continued yelling. “You’re not going to tell me—tell us, the whole DAMN frontlines—that people are going to die if we can’t return the sword—and then tell us we can’t put this sword back where it belongs.”

It will be replaced. But not by you.

“I already told you, this is it.”

Visions swam through Edict’s head. A compassionate, green haired woman appeared, mending his wounds and courage with a familiar light. ”Here. This will just take a few moments…”

Tel’s reinvigoration thawed his body. Edict took one step forward.

Edited 41 minutes ago by Edict

Edict · 2025-09-01T17:08:52Z

Three other Users stood beside him. A sharp-tongued but deeply caring elf. A young, enthusiastic guide. Another young man that had encouraged and protected the group as they carried the sword along their way. Edict managed one more step.

The dragon was howling, but the sword-bearer could no longer hear the words. Instead, he focused on the people around him. They were the reason the sword had made it this far. If he was not worthy, then they could be. Another step forward, urged on by the thousands of steps made by those who came before. Edict was now close enough to see the dragon carcass twitching with red-hot rage. The thing was somehow dead and alive all at once, and whatever remained wished him dead with a pure vitriol that defied programming.

A boy and girl now walked alongside him. The girl wore a mask of light, while the boy’s face clouded over with ones and zeroes. They appeared more interested in each other than Edict, but their wordless conversation eased him. Edict perceived a quiet trust between the two that made him think of Philia. And Acanthus.

This step was much longer than the last. Another followed.

The last group formed in front of him, shielding him from the dragon’s wrath. Jevi, fearless warrior; Adelyte, confident socialite; Kyra, thoughtful survivor; and Hackman, the wildcard to whom the frontlines owed an immeasurable debt. Spreading out, they offered the space between him and the dragon he desperately needed.

Their forms wavered in his mind’s eye as the dragon pierced his peace. Arrogance! Ego! the insults, hurled one word at a time, each carried the weight of his defeats.

Conspirator!

But also, don't say too much about my, ah, escape, if you can help it? You never know what Cardinal hears.

Murderer!

Edict managed to move behind his opponent and clutch the other side of his chain. Yelling, Edict pulled the chain down with all of his might.

Coward!

"Hey, look at the boat! Eedee went out into the water! Shouldn't we go after him??"

Liar!

Edict wasn't sure if it actually did; he didn't care.

Failure!

"I'm" and Tom was gone.

The words formed vivid memories, blotting out the familiar faces. His knees locked once, and he collapsed on his one good hand and knees. The sword skittered across the floor, coming to rest at the base of the pedestal.

Yes. The dragon crowed. Leave it here. Let someone else finish the task. Someone Worthy. You have done your part, so leave my domain, you <<abomination>>. Your stench is failure, masked by the accomplishments of others. Your very existence is parasitic.

"...I know." Edict had reached the limits of his strength. His body left on the cold stone floor, his mind plunged into the Black. Roiling doubts dragged him beneath the surface, weighed down by the Dragon's terrifying truths. Not one part of his journey had gone according to plan. Why did he think finishing the task would be any different? Best to let another player—a real hero, not a fake—return the sword. The frontlines would hold until then.

Edited 41 minutes ago by Edict

Linked Accounts

[F29 | SP][EV] Delivering the Sword #4

Recommended Posts

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Edict 0

Link to post

Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

Create an account

Sign in