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[PP:F1] Dude, Where's my Dog? (XWuZHeAR)


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“Mmmmm,†Azazel moaned.

 

It was dark and her head was pounding. The woman swallowed but felt no relief, her mouth was parched and her throat bone dry. She struggled to open her eyelids which were heavy and they grated over her eyeballs as if they were made of sandpaper. “Ughhh…†She whined and she lifted her head to see where the hell she was. Light finally reached her eyes though everything was still a bit blurry.

 

She found herself lying on the floor, drooling in her sleep. The woman sat up slowly and leaned on the surface behind her observing the space she occupied. The room she was in was a mess, the bed was unmade and the covers were strewn about, there was broken furniture, nothing was in its place or in an orderly state.  Anna lazily wiped the line of drool from her face and whined again because of the massive pounding in her head. “Why does my head hurt so damn bad?†she complained aloud. Drinking never did this to here, not here in Aincrad. This had to be something else.

 

There came a pounding on the surface behind her; she groaned and pounded back. “Stop making so much noise!†Zaz whined. “You’re hurting my head!â€

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Ugh.... I woke up with very bad headache in a very dark place. After trying to make sense of the situation all I knew was that my clothes were off and my hands were tied behind my back... "this isn't good" was my first thought. I then was greeted once more by a pounding in the back of my head. Jesus Christ it felt so bad I thought I was gonna have to give up drinking for a week. A little while latter I came closer to my senses and figured out I was locked in a closet. I then began pounding on the door with my knee trying to open it.

"Open the damn door!" I yelled out to Zaz I think who I heard outside the closet.

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Anna turned around to see that she’d been leaning on a closet and that the banging was coming from inside.

 

"Open the damn door!" A muffled voice came from inside.

 

“X? Is that you in there?†Zaz said as she crawled back from the door and reached for the handle.

 

The woman opened the closet door to find the boy sitting there with his knees to his chest; he was tied up and naked. Well mostly naked. His boxers were on, but not anything else. Zaz jumped up and away and she covered her eyes with her hands.

 

“OH GOD! WHY ARE YOU TIED UP? AND WHY ARE YOU NAKED?†she screeched. “Could you… I don’t know pull up your menu and put some damn clothes on? Of course you’d be the naked kid.†Zaz sighed.

 

“Tell me when you have your freaking clothes on please so I can untie you.†She told him. She was not taking her hands down till the little weirdo was clothed again. 

 

“I swear… this stuff only happens to me… You think you’d learn better Anna.†She muttered to herself as she waited for X to get dressed.

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As I kept yelling for Zaz to open the door she eventually did so and I fell forward onto the floor. I then struggled with my hands that were tied behind my back. Zaz with out skipping a beat began yellig about my being naked which I too was curious about but I'm choosing to prioritize my hands.

"Wow Zaz great idea! You mean open the menu with my hands? Because I'm pretty sure they're tied behind my goddamn back! Hurry up and use that sword of yours for something useful and cut me out, then il ask you why I'm naked" I yelled to Zaz wondering how I'm in the wrong here.

My eyes instinctively scanned the room while I couldn't use my hands. The room was totally trashed probably by me... But the real thing that stood out was Maruchan's absence.

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“FINE!†Zaz whined and uncovered her eyes.

 

She grabbed her rapier and cut the boy free. “Now hurry up and put your things on.†She turned around and waited. Anna surveyed the room again sighing in dismay, “You did this didn’t you… that’s probably why you’re in the closet like that but I still don’t get why you’d have no clothes on.†She wished she could remember anything but last night was really fuzzy and nothing came to mind. As she looked around she realized that there was something missing: Maruchan. The puppy was always with the boy and since X was in the closet, the dog would have been to, but there was no puppy in the closet.

 

“Maruchan?†She called. “Where are you boy?†Anna looked under the bed.

 

“X… I don’t think he’s here….†She was worried.

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As I got my hands free I began flipping through the menu and placing on all the difrent parts of my clothes.

"Jeez Zaz atleast I'm young and athletic, with your luck you should just be glad I'm not a fat old man. Besides I know we didn't do anything "bad" together because marucha-.... Sh*t." I said as I realized maruchan wasn't just hidding in the room.

I then let out a sharp whistle and patted my lap in hopes he'd come running. After a few seconds I began to worry and started tearing apart the room more than it already was. Starting with the bed I broke in half with a punch I then began throwing everything I could to one side of the room. Eventually the room was completely bare aside from a pile of broken furniture on one side.

"Damnit! Where the hell are you?!?!?" I yelled out in frustration and fear.

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“A fat old man wouldn’t give me as much trouble as you!†She growled,†And of course I wouldn’t do anything bad with you,†she scoffed at the idea. X never finished his thought because he also realized Maru wasn’t around.

 

X whistled for the puppy loudly causing Anna to cover her ears. “OW!†She said as she shook her head. They waited a moment, but the cute little puppy didn’t come out.  Immediately the boy started to tear up the room again. “Damn it X! Calm down!†She wanted to try and stop him, but the boy was too strong for her to physically handle.  Soon all of the broken bits of furniture were piled up on one side of the room. “You’re totally paying for this mess!†Zaz scolded the boy, but he was too distraught and wasn’t paying her words any mind.

 

“It’s alright,†she approached him once his fit was over; “We’ll go look for him, okay?†

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The act of destroying the room was something I could do with out breaking a sweat but for some reason I was out of breath. I then out my back to the wall and slid down until my forehead was touching my knees.

"I lost my goddamn dog... All because I was taken advantage of by an older woman... Hahaha! You thought I was all sad and sh*t! Hahahaha!" I began sounding really depressed until the punchline.

I continued laughing and laughing until my eyes teared up. After calming myself down I had to take a few deep breaths and wipe away a single tear. I then walked over to the window and opened it.

"alright lets go find my dog... And by the way neither of us is paying for this room... Hop on." I said as I kneeled down for Zaz to climb on my back.

Now that I think about it I don't know if I showed Zaz my acrobatic prowess yet. Well let's just see how this goes for her.

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X was hyperventilating, and then he sunk against the wall until he sat with his knees against his chest. "I lost my goddamn dog... â€œ he started.

 

“It’ll be ok-“

 

“... All because I was taken advantage of by an older woman... Hahaha! You thought I was all sad and sh*t! Hahahaha!"

 

Her words were cut off and the tiny little smart alec began to laugh. “You!!!!†Anna just wanted to wring the boy’s scrawny neck. She was going to but when she approached him she saw that he’d teared up. He was worried about Maruchan, and she didn’t blame him.

 

“Let’s go find Maruchan,†She said with a nod.

 

The boy opened the window and turned around telling her to jump on his back. It appeared that they weren’t going to pay for the damages to the room. “Alright,†Zaz said as she got onto the boy’s back. She held on tight hoping she wouldn’t fall off during their escape. 

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As soon as Zaz climbed on my back and held onto my shoulders I began climbing out the window and up the wall. Using every crack and jetting brick I got us up to the rooftop.

"Alright so what now? Should I assasins creed it and go for that tall as tower or do we ask around town?... F*ck it I'm going with option one." I asked Zaz but then decided for myself.

I then grabbed Zaz's legs just begind the knees to get a better grip and began sprinting for the edge of the building. Then I began leaping across each alley way keeping up my speed.

"Say... I wonder how many flips I can do with a gordita on my back... Let's find out!" I joked as I then began actualy side fliping across each alleyway.

Eventually we made it to the tower I saw and I began climbing with Zaz still on my back. After reaching the top I walked out to the edge and crouched like an assassin. After sitting silent like that for about fifteen minutes I got up and turned to Zaz.

"This was a gigantic waste of time."

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Azazel hung on to the boy for dear life, but he actually had a good grip on her so she wasn’t too worried about falling off his back. She was about to suggest that they start asking around, but X decided otherwise. X pondered the idea of trying to do flips with Azazel on his back.†You’d better not, and I am not fat!†she told the boy yet again. She really hated when he called her that because she was totally self conscious about her figure.

 

X hopped from roof to roof going higher and higher up until they made it to a tower that stood high above everything else. When he landed safely he set Anna down and then began to peer out into the distance looking for Maruchan. She walked around the tower’s edge trying to see if she spotted the little dog anywhere, but she found nothing. After fifteen minutes or so X came over to her and complained that this was a stupid idea.

 

“You thought of it…†she clicked her tongue and laughed. “We should probably retrace our steps. We’ll find him faster that way. Do you remember where we went to eat? Or do you remember what kind of food we had?† 

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(OOC: Zaz has given permission for the following God-mod)

Zaz obviously would state the predicable response to what I said. Then she pitched the idea of retrieving steps only problem is I don't remember anything about the dinner at all. I looked over the edge and noticed a bird screech.

"Yeah I uh don't really remember, but hey if we're doing assassins creed here why not go the full mile?" I said as I dragged Zaz over to the edge and pushed her off.

I then dove down after her angering my body like and arrow and grabbing her body in mid air. I then flipped her so that she would be facing the sky on top of me. Now us both facing the sky with her on top continued our fall.

"Safe-zone." I quickly said before my body made contact with the ground.

My back then smacked the pavement sending a shock through my body. Maybe I should add this to my performance. However I've got to find maruchan now, I thought as I got up off the ground holding Zaz.

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Azazel sighed. There had to be SOMETHING that they could remember about the night before. She pursed her lips and furled her brow trying her best to sort through anything about the night before but she was just drawing a blank.  X came over to her and took her by the wrist and started to pull Zaz along as she was in thought. It wasn’t until she was at the edge of the tower that she snapped to.

 

“What the f-“ she was about to finish that thought but the woman was pushed over the edge of the tower.  Zaz let out a scream. If she managed to make it through this fall somehow she was going to KILL that boy! 

 

The woman was flipped around so that she was falling backward now. She found an arm wrapped around her. “You’re an asshole, X†she told the boy as she closed her eyes and waited for them to hit the ground.  It came quick, and X’s body hit the stone walkway with incredible force However, the boy got up easily with Zaz still safe in his arms.

 

“Can you put me down now so we can look for Maru-chan?†she complained. 

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I stretch out and cracked my neck as Zaz asked me to put her down. I then with no hesitation dropped her and she fell on her ass. My mind then tried to remember what happened the night before. I got into a fight I think and Maruchan was there for sure. I then stretched out my arms as I began thinking harder about last night. Me and Zaz went to a dinner that she paid for where we proceeded to get even more messed up.

"Gloria's café... If I was drunk enough I probably wanted to go to the moonlit café because the owner has huge cans." I quickly thought up.

I then turned around and began walking in the direction of the café. However I had to stop walking for a second to stretch out my back since I sorta just jumped off a building.

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