[PP-F20] The Queen of Tarts [Pinball]

[Emerath 0]

Here Emerath was, once again letting his stomach guide him to a place he hadn't thought to go before. Well, his stomach, his maps, and other adventurers, but that was only if you wanted to be technical. In any case, Emerath found himself standing in the plaza of a rich city of gold, the town of Condor. It had been a bit of a trek through the mountains, and a bit out of the way, but from what Emerath could see, it may have been worth it. At the very least, he was here for the shop that a player had made in this rich little city. The Queen of Tarts, it was called, and while it didn't seem to fully fit the aesthetic of the city itself, it made decent enough sense.

Emerath explored the town, noting the various NPCs that walked around, and found that he didn't see many other players. It didn't surprise him that much though, the higher up you went, the less players there were. Everyone lived in fear of the higher floors, and with good reason. Emerath tried his best not to feel that way, but he did feel bad for the girl that had made her shop all the way out here. She must not get a ton of business.

Though, as Emerath entered the storefront, he was pleasantly surprised as he saw a couple of players minding their own business, eating cakes and reading various notes and flyers or messing with their UIs. Emerath gave anyone a nod that would look his way, before approaching the counter of a simple brown haired girl in an apron, who appeared to be just pulling out some fresh tarts that were no doubt the namesake of the shop. Before she could run off, Emerath called out, "Oh, that just looks lovely. Can I have one of those before you put them away?" The girl paused, blinked at Emerath a bit confused for a moment, and then smiled and said, "Oh, yes, certainly. I'm sorry. I've just never seen you in here before! Welcome, and here, have two!" Emerath chuckled, and the girl placed two tarts on a plate for the man, and scooped a dollop of custard onto the plate. "I'll just charge you for one. We'll call it appreciation for you stopping in," the girl explained, before heading off to properly display the remainder of the tray. As she walked off, she explained, "Just trade me the Col when you're ready dear, prices are on the menu!"

Emerath nodded, thankful for the pleasant customer service, and looked over the menu. The tart wasn't too expensive. Not incredibly cheap, but when one gets it warm out of the oven, he wasn't sure if he had a right to complain. He took a spoon and put some of the custard on the tart, before taking a bite of the warm pastry, savoring the sweet strawberry flavor. He hadn't expected strawberry, but it was a pleasant surprise. He would certainly enjoy this. He might have to take another for the road.

@Pinball

[Pinball 1]

There were just some things Pinball couldn't do without his kitchen. There were only so many things you could do with fresh game, a few pots, pans, and a campfire. At least, the options available to him in the wild were nothing when juxtaposed against the myriad of dishes, fancy and simple, when he had access to the necessary utensils. He kind of guessed that his shop was probably under watch now, anyway - not that he was of a mind to find out. He was "only wanted for questioning", but he knew how that kind of thing usually worked out from the movies. And even though he knew he deserved a life far worse than one spent in a jail cell, he couldn't bring himself to turn himself in. Not yet. His heart dropped in his chest, and he couldn't really help but get a bit angry at the thought. Coward, he thought bitterly. 

Besides, he was craving dessert. There was absolutely no way that Pinball could procure that kind of savory treat in the wild. 
You don't deserve sweets anyway, you bastard. 
But his stomach urged him forward. 
I hope the guards rip you to shreds, ****head.  
Pinball pulled his hood down low over his face, hunched over as he clumsily tried to avoid detection. He half tiptoed, half ran towards the village's boundaries. He pushed his back against the side of one shiny building, officially entering the village - illegally. He peeked around the corner of the nameless building, staring straight ahead - for across the street lied what he so craved. The Queen of Tarts. 

Onwards! 
Pinball almost hopped as he took off, speeding across the road with his head down and his hood up. He hit the door maybe a bit too hard, leaning his shoulder into the door as he pushed it quickly open. He closed it with the back of his boot, throwing his hood off with his hands. He could barely contain the bubbly excitement rising up in his chest as the smell of freshly baked goods hit him. 
"Ahh~!" He nearly twirled then, his hands held out wide by his sides, a stupid smile on his face. He took another step forward... and froze.
And he turned, then, agonizingly slowly, to meet the eyes of another player in the shop.

[Emerath 0]

Emerath had gotten a bit lost in his first tart as he had pulled out a map and looked it over for just what he wanted to do once he finished his meal. If you could call it that. It was more an indulgence that had no real nutritional value were this the real world, but as far as Cardinal was concerned, it would satisfy his needs. He was just about to take another bite, when he heard the door slam open, the bell above it going absolutely wild for a moment with ringing, before being a bit more gently closed and the calm atmosphere returning almost immediately. But by then, the damage had already been done, as Emerath had managed to drop his piece of tart on the ground and mourned his loss. Slowly, from the fallen tart piece to the door, Emerath's eyes rose to meet that of the player who had just walked in.

As Emerath looked to the cursor, his heart skipped a bit of a beat as he saw orange, instinctively knowing that this was usually a danger sign out in the wilds. But this was in a shop. The young man had either killed some guards, or snuck his way into town. Either way, he was brave. And for some tarts? Well, he didn't have a weapon out, and he didn't have an angry bloodthirsty look on his face. Probably just wanted a day of shopping or something. The young man continued to stare at Emerath, and without missing anymore time, Emerath slowly reached behind him, without taking his own eyes off of the young man, and grabbed his plate with the tart on it. It wasn't out of fear for this orange player, but more that he seemed just as stunned as Emerath was, and Emerath didn't want to spook him.

So he held out the plate, and said, "Hello? Do you... want a tart?"

@Pinball

[Pinball 1]

Embarrassment? Shock? Confusion? He felt a couple of things in that moment, but he wasn't really thinking much. So when the only thing that came out of his mouth was a weird, half-grunt, half-groan, Pinball nearly lost it. After that peculiar - and probably incriminating - noise, Pinball kind of just... stared at the tart he was being offered. He forced a weak smile. 
"Uhh... no, thanks." 
He shuffled off to the side, trying to focus on ordering, but he couldn't help but keep glancing over at the redhead - as far as Pinball had seen, he was the only other person in this town with him. And that's why he had gone this far out of the way in the first place! He hadn't expected people to be here! Or at least, he thought it was far less likely for people to be here. 
Yet here this guy was, offering Pinball a bite of his tart. 
At least he's not running off to call the guards, he thought.
You'd have to make sure he didn't get away. 
Pinball slapped his forehead, visibly grimacing, but the look faded quickly. You're only wanted for questioning. It shouldn't matter too much either way. And you could always just teleport away, too. He took a deep breath, looked straight ahead, and stifled a loud sigh. 
He shuffled over to the counter, though he did do the best he could to keep the other player in his peripheral. He tried to think of something to say, but couldn't; so instead, he rested his hand on the sword at his waist. And, nervously, though picking up in confidence as he went, he went on to order a very long list of sweets that nobody could reasonably hope to eat in one sitting. 

[Emerath 0]

As the young man denied the tart, Emerath shrugged, and then scooped some more of the custard onto the tart for himself. "More for me then," he said, as he turned away. The young man seemed wary of Emerath, and that was understandable. An orange player daring to venture into a town was not easy, let alone something you did without caution. Emerath wasn't entirely certain he could figure out how to keep the man calm. At least it seemed like the shopkeep wouldn't give him any trouble. Probably because she knew she was safe and that it wouldn't be any trouble. To be fair, that was a lot of the reason why Emerath wouldn't have worried as well.

As Emerath finished his second tart, he tuned in to the man ordering an oddly lengthy list of sweets. It felt to Emerath like he might be waiting a while for all of that, let alone to eat all of it. He didn't think there was a limit to how much one could eat in this game, but he was certain that there was a point where Cardinal made people feel "full". Emerath began to wonder what it would be like to eat past that point, and how Cardinal would react then, and before he knew it, he was lost in his own thought experiments again, with the list going on and on in the background.

Slowly, Emerath brought himself back out of it, and by then it seemed like the list might have been over, and so Emerath turned to the young man. "I guess, it makes sense," he told him, as he swiveled in his chair, "you don't get into town much, so you make it worth your while. You have enough sweets on that list to last you a month, easy." Emerath chuckled, and gave the man a smile. He was trying to be friendly. There was no harm that could come to either of them within the shop's walls, and the city was a protected safe zone, as they all were. "I'm Emerath," he offered, hoping that maybe a name might ease some of the tension.

@Pinball

[Pinball 1]

The shopkeeper was surprisingly quick with his order - both with taking it and gathering the items he had bought. Pinball grimaced, knowing damn well the sizeable dent it was about to put in his wallet. While the woman busied herself with her work behind the counter, Pinball turned to the red-haired player who had - for some reason - started making conversation. 
You should be polite, he knew. Even if he was only talking to him because he was scared? Faking it? Frontliners could burst through that door any second now and bring him in. But Pinball didn't want to believe that. He wanted somebody to talk to for a little while. Even if it was fake. For a moment, he wanted to let himself relax.
Let things be the way they used to be. 
"Yeah," he laughed nervously. "It's uhh... not going to... last as long as you'd think." 
Pinball nodded, forcing a weak, anxious smile. "Ahh, I'm Pinball."

[Emerath 0]

Emerath smiled, as he turned in his chair, glad that the young man had opened up a bit more to him. Emerath was trying to be as genuine and nice as he could be, but the orange player was still incredibly wary. With good reason, Emerath knew, but it still killed him a bit inside. Must be a fresh orange, Emerath thought to himself, as he rolled up his map, and placed it in his satchel with the others. He leaned on the desk as he sat sideways facing the man who was now waiting for his order, and gave him a nod. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Pinball. So, does that mean that you eat your sweets as meals then? I suppose it's a good thing the game doesn't make avatars gain weight. You'd be in a lot of trouble in that case," Emerath chuckled as he finished his sentence.

But, the more Emerath thought about it, the more he supposed he should probably acknowledge the elephant in the room, especially before Pinball ran off or got the wrong idea. "So, Pinball, I need you to know. I don't really find you that threatening. If you were worried about it. Trust me, if you were going to come to murder me, there's much better places than a sweets shop. Besides, shops are safe zones, so if you want someone to talk to, I wouldn't mind it. You seem a bit like you could use the company." Emerath gave Pinball his most genuine smile, before ordering another tart from the shopkeeper, whether that be for the road or to sit and chat.

@Pinball

[Pinball 1]

As the man who introduced himself as Emerath turned in his seet and addressed the rather copious amount of sweets he was ordering, Pinball found that he could do no more than offer a weak smile and a half-hearted chuckle. "Haha, yeah..." And then he turned back to the counter and was silent again. He shouldn't be here. The thought passed through his head more times than he cared to count, like a broken record. He felt his fingers start to reflexively tap on the counters nervously, and he glanced to the door, half expecting guards to come bursting through it at any moment with swords, axes, hammers, and spears lashing out at him. Ridiculous, he knew. No guards had seen him enter the settlement, right? 

It was then that the man finally acknowledged what Pinball thought to be the elephant in the room. Despite Emerath's attempts at convincing him otherwise, he couldn't help but feel on edged. The teenager shook his head. Another one who doesn't get it, he thought. 
Does nobody in this game value life? 
He found himself smiling, but it was a worried one. His gaze passed over the other player briefly, but never really locked on - instead, Pinball stared at the space near him, then, lowering his head, mumbled the first words that came to mind. 
"Words... uh... words don't help." 

[Emerath 0]

Emerath sighed. He had hoped his friendly demeanor would get through to Pinball, but instead he just continued to close up. As the girl behind the counter slid him another tart, Emerath opened his menu and paid the woman as she continued to ready Pinball's lengthy list of sweets. Emerath picked up the tart, opened his inventory, and it popped out of existence as it was safely stored away for later consumption. "Well, then I suppose there's nothing left to do but leave you be. It was a pleasure meeting you, Pinball. You don't seem like some terrible psychopath out to kill everyone you meet, so I didn't feel like I had a reason to worry, but perhaps you are just really good at hiding that, and are trying to protect someone like me. But hey, even that wouldn't make you so bad, yeah?" Emerath shrugged in answer to his own question, before standing up, stretching and giving a yawn, and walking towards the door.

Then he opened a trade window with the woman preparing Pinball's order, and he sent her the Col that Emerath had calculated for Pinball's somewhat ridiculous order. Well, he overshot it, he was certain. But he didn't care. The woman gave a bit of a surprised gasp, and Emerath just smiled to himself as the bell dinged from him opening the door and walking out. "Maybe if words don't mean anything, then actions do," Emerath muttered to himself. If nothing else, he hoped that whatever Pinball decided to do with himself, it wasn't kill anyone else. That was all Emerath could really hope for.

@Pinball

[Pinball 1]

Pinball almost panicked. The guy was friendly enough, and even if Pinball didn't entirely believe his motives, it didn't change the fact that he was pushing him away. But his words rang in his ears. You don't seem like a terrible psychopath. Pinball grimaced. If only you knew the half of it. 
But then he did something that surprised and worried Pinball - he paid for his food. All of it. The entire long list of them. Pinball watched, wide-eyed, as Emerath started to walk out the door with a nonchalant goodbye. Pinball rushed after him, but he didn't leave the shop - he couldn't risk getting caught by the guards now. Pinball reached out for him. "H-hey! You don't - didn't-" and he cut himself off, but took a step back into the shop, beckoning him inside. "Come here, come here." 
He had to give him something. What was a useful item he never saw himself using? Pinball didn't have much, but there were a couple of things. "I need to give you something for that," he said quickly, scrolling through his inventory. "Something, something, something..." He didn't want to dump a bunch of trash onto him, but most of what Pinball had was crap anyway. 
"Please? Let me repay you somehow?" He closed his inventory. "I can give you a few things that might help later on, or if there's something you need me to do for you... I don't wanna let you just- you know. Pay my stuff for me. You don't have to. Shouldn't have to." 

[Emerath 0]

Emerath hadn't gotten far out the door, when Pinball caught wind of what was up, and next thing he knew he was being ushered back into the store. Emerath raised an eyebrow to the young man, before turning and walking back to the store. Once inside the safety of the four walls once again, he was met with Pinball frantically looking to repay Emerath, to which Emerath simply folded his arms and frowned.

"You know, that's now how this works. I didn't do that for something in return, I did it to be nice," Emerath explained, "Because you're right, I didn't have to do it. But I did. Sometimes people do nice things for others, even strangers." Emerath wouldn't accept anything from Pinball. He would make that clear. It wasn't even that he doubted that Pinball had the money, or that he needed the charity. Hell, he was an orange player. He had clearly taken the life of another. If anything, based on that ideal alone, he deserved nothing nice. But that wasn't the way Emerath's mind worked. That was Endilix's logic, not his. Emerath was no white knight.

Emerath continued to frown as he gave Pinball a final, "No, I will not let you repay me, not in the form of items or Col. I have most of what I need already in this game, and I'm an alchemist so even if I didn't I can make a lot of what I need. I'm not worried about that." With that said, Emerath turned to begin walking back out the door again, but paused, before slowly turning back to Pinball.

"If you want to give me something back, just tell me something," he said, after another moment of looking at the young man. "Just tell me, did you kill them in cold blood? Are you some horrible psychopath? Or am I right, that underneath the fear, paranoia, and aura of uncertainty that you give off, there's someone who regrets what they did, even if only because of the consequences and burdens it has placed upon them?" Emerath slowly turned back to Pinball to await an answer.

@Pinball

Edited December 8, 2018 by Emerath

[Pinball 1]

Pinball stopped scrolling. "B-but, I can't, like..." He trailed off as Emerath continued. It was pretty clear he wasn't having any of it, but Pinball couldn't help but be uncomfortable with the guy's insistence. He didn't deserve that sort of kindness from another person. Not after what he did. "Because you're right, I didn't have to do it. But I did. Sometimes people do nice things for others, even strangers." He wasn't sure why, but that line stuck with him. And Emerath continued to give him a final, resounding no, and turned to walk out the door. 
Pinball couldn't find the words - so he just watched him walk away, silently, turning his head a bit towards the floorboards in resignation. 
There was a pause - a moment of silence. And then Emerath turned slowly back around to face Pinball. "If you want to give me something back, just tell me something," he said. Pinball looked up, nodding. "Yeah," he said quickly, and maybe a bit too quietly. He really was all too eager to repay him, though, and looked back to him with a determination in his eyes. 

"Just tell me, did you kill them in cold blood? Are you some horrible psychopath? Or am I right, that underneath the fear, paranoia, and aura of uncertainty that you give off, there's someone who regrets what they did, even if only because of the consequences and burdens it has placed upon them?"

And Pinball felt himself tense up. Talking to Mars had, Pinball thought, at least, desensitized him a bit when it came to talking about the murder. He didn't break down every time he had to talk about it, though he did find himself flinching whenever somebody mentioned his cursor color. Even that would fade with time, though. But that incorrigible guilt, weighing down on his conscience and pushing his dirty soul into a swirling, miasmic cesspool of self-loathing, bitter sadness, and anger - well, Pinball thought that would be there for a while. But finally, after a long moment, he answered, his voice pronouncing each word slowly, careful to make sure he didn't slip up or have to repeat himself. It probably wouldn't mean much to Emerath, and it didn't really answer his question, but to Pinball those four words carried behind them the oppressing weight of every thing he thought was wrong with what he did. 
How he had felt as he fought, his anger, unadulterated and absolute. He shouldn't have let anger cloud his reasoning. 
How he had felt as he killed him, almost disgustingly gleeful in his morbid curiosity. It made him sick knowing that he had enjoyed it, and he knew he couldn't tell anyone. 
And how he had felt after, screaming, alone, on the top of that mountaintop, with a weapon he literally couldn't let go of. 

"He didn't deserve it." 

[Emerath 0]

Once he had finally gotten a response, Emerath stared at Pinball for a long moment. No matter how he tried to process that response, there was only one thing that kept coming to Emerath's mind. Something he finally voiced after a strange silence took over the shop. As if the lady preparing the sweets herself had begun holding her breath. "Are you sure?" Emerath asked, finally breaking the silence. His voice almost felt booming in the wake of no sound for such a long moment. But yet he continued.

"There are many people who say that a death row inmate doesn't deserve to live. For taking the life of another person. For making that choice. But how can any of us be so certain that the person did nothing to deserve their death? We weren't there. We didn't live the lives they did. Nobody is ever truly innocent. Perhaps in killing the person you did, you saved the life of another, even countless others. Sure, maybe as you knew them they weren't going to kill anyone, but then did you ever think you would either?"

Emerath sighed, and shrugged, "It's certainly a skewed argument, and it's imperfect, but it's at least fair enough to make you consider, I hope, that sometimes what seems like the right decision, or the right thing to do, isn't always." Emerath put a hand on Pinball's shoulder and gave the young man a stern look, grasping his shoulder tightly, "I never had the courage to take matters into my own hands. To be honest, I probably would have died if I did, but I should have at least tried. You can't stop living your life just because you made a decision that other people don't like. I did for a long time. That doesn't mean you have to like what you did, but don't stop living because of it. Take it from someone who has."

Emerath let go, and he gave another heavy sigh, before admitting, "That was why I bought the sweets for you. Everyone deserves to enjoy something. Even death row inmates get a last meal of their choosing. Even death row inmates are still human beings in the end."

@Pinball

[Pinball 1]

Emerath's words washed over Pinball, though they didn't do much to soothe the uneasiness in his heart. Still, while not comforting in the traditional sense, Emerath's speech almost echoed Mars'. Sometimes, death was a release. 
Who was to say Sugutsuya didn't deserve to die? He had certainly been a sketchy character. Pinball had known that for years now. He tried, for a moment, to think about all the bad things he knew for a fact the info-broker had done - but he couldn't. Not right now. His head was funny, and though on any other day he could have ranted about how terrible of a person the guy was, nothing came to mind in that moment. But he knew one thing for certain, now. All of his encounters had only solidified this belief. Reality was harsh. It was cruel, and death came to everyone. He would be one of them, and probably sooner than he hoped. 

But there was something else that Emerath told him that Mars never had. Something that, weirdly, did make him feel a bit better. He took solace in that skewed argument, if only a little, and for a moment things were... okay. He couldn't just stop living because he made a decision people didn't like. Pinball nodded, swallowing his nervousness. He lifted a hand to his eye, then ran it through his hair. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Yeah, you're right." He nodded. Rubbed his eyes. And then he took a deep breath, his chest rising with the inhale, and then let it out in a heavy sigh. 
He looked at Emerath in the face, then, trying his best to maintain a polite amount of eye contact (though he did eventually turn his head to the side). "Thank you," he said breathily, "it means a lot." Then, for fear of sounding cheesy, he quickly added, "For- for the sweets." 

[Emerath 0]

When Pinball had seemed to finally relent, and calm down a bit, Emerath had breathed a sigh of relief, and couldn't help but smile. He had gone from a nervous wreck looking over his shoulder, to someone who genuinely seemed to have a bit more purpose, and that was good enough for Emerath. He still hoped that Pinball decided not to kill again, but that wasn't really Emerath's choice. Emerath had done what he felt like the right thing to be, and hadn't condoned, but also hadn't condemned. He thought to his brother again, and he could see the scorn and rage that would have come from meeting an orange player, and then the severe condemnation that would have followed. No, Emerath wasn't like that. He was no white knight.

But when all was said and done, Emerath simply nodded at Pinball, the smile not leaving his face, and he was going to leave it there and take off, as he turned away once again. But then he paused, and thought a bit more about it. Without looking back, Emerath asked, "Pinball, do you need a healer? I know this is a bit arbitrary, but people are probably going to be gunning for you. One, if they see you travelling with a green, they might not think you so bad, but if they see a green healing you, well, that might just change everything. And lest you wonder, I am a healer. I'd be happy to join you for some adventures if you'd like."

Slowly, Emerath turned his head to look over his shoulder at Pinball to see what he thought of the offer.

@Pinball

Edited December 13, 2018 by Emerath

[Pinball 1]

Emerath turned around, and Pinball thought that would be that. A bit of an abrupt ending, sure, but... he couldn't really ask for more. He didn't think he really knew how much his words had helped him. There wasn't much he could do to repay that; the comfort in knowing and accepting. And it didn't seem like Emerath would have accepted anything even if Pinball had tried to. So, resigned but grateful, Pinball began to turn back to the counter, half-expecting his order to have been finished. 

But the words that followed caught him off guard, and Pinball's attention snapped from the tempting promise of virtual diabetes to Emerath's offer. It took him a moment to process what the guy was saying. Pinball stood, gawking, and then finally managed to swallow the weight and implications of what that kind of thing meant. Doesn't he realize? 
With a vigorous shake of his head, Pinball began to decline. "N-no, you can't - shouldn't do that. You-"
The words caught in his throat. He couldn't put another person in danger. He didn't want anyone else getting hurt. He couldn't let that happen. Not again. Not to somebody who cared, even if it was fake.  Not because of him. Pinball couldn't bear that burden again. 

But... maybe this could be the start of something new. Something different. 
Pinball's hands twitched, and then he raised one, swiping open his inventory with a slow drag of his hand through the air. He switched through the tabs, not able to look Emerath in the eye as he did. Then, nervously, he sent a friend request. Pinball was too embarrassed to wait and see if he accepted it or not - and he wasn't sure he wanted to know, really. He'd emptied his Friends List one too many times, and this guy he just met would be one of if not the only person on that screen.
"I'll- I- can keep that in mind," he mumbled, turning back to lean against the shop's counter.