Lazarus

Lazarus was given some tea by this white haired waiter. "Sweet." He finished whatever food was in his mouth and took a sip of the tea, falling into a sweet paradise. "Sugar..." The candy man decided to do something very British by dipping chocolate cookies in the tea then eating them. "You are one sugary pal' y'know, how do ya' even make it like this?" Lazarus was fascinated from the taste, it mesmerized him into thinking he was in candy wonderland. He pulled out sixteen lollipops and stuffed them in his mouth while drinking the tea. The unhealthy amount of candy in his gob would make a certain person angry (@Ssendom). 

"Woah, I smell some sugar..." Lazarus had his mouth watering as soon as the sweet fragrance invaded his keen candy nose. He saw Apple Pie sitting besides the window trying to stare into the tavern. "Hey Apple Pie, I think it's chrysanthemum tea, nothing else is that sweet." The candy man wondered how this Sinful guy made so much of it. He grabbed Hydra by the collar and dragged him into the tavern. "I'd like your finest confections please, topped with that sweet tea."

Lazarus saw the muffin on the ground and made one appear in his hands. He tossed it in the air for a while before turning to face Hydra. "Looking for this Apple Pie?" The candy man remembered this sugar delinquent from the other day, the one that tried to steal from his stash. "It's alright pal, I've got plenty of sweets right here, just that I don't share." He gulped down the storm of peppermints he just ate and replaced them with honey cookies, his mouth full and the cookies piled to the roof of it. "If you need some candy, I could teach you my sugary ways Apple Pie, all I need is a bit of Col, candy, and sugarr..." Lazarus said the last word (Sugar) in a very creepy, addictive tone.

Lazarus had finally ran out of candy in his stash, his mouth watered for nothing but candy. That's when he came across Sinful, mistaking his hair for cotton candy. "S-Sugar... Delicious... Cotton candy!" The candy man viciously chomped down on Sinful's hair, trying to consume the cotton candy. "Hey, this is starting to taste a bit weird, is this even candy?" He stopped biting and realized this was a person, an emo person. "Yo. Need some candy for that?" Lazarus held out a lollipop to the guy, after all who wouldn't give one to a helpless emo boy?

"Sugarrrr!" Lazarus saw the boar and went in for the final hit striking at it with his dagger. The boar exploded into a bunch of pixels and the candy man smiled. "Sweet." He stuffed another dozen lollipops in his mouth nodding at the crowd. "Like stealing candy from a babe." The candy man had a big smile on his face, he had just earned a material and was eating candy, that was until he noticed Hydra. "Weren't you that candy thief from yesterday? Ah, doesn't matter now, just don't touch my stash." The lollipops were quickly devoured, he then stuffed his face with a piece of cake and held out his dagger.

ID#51560

Battle 6

Boar 2: 0/4 HP

+1 Material

It would take a fool to not notice that Zelrius had Too many waifus, yes Ssendom you are one too many loyal followers, and Lazarus was no fool. "So I'm guessing this Zelrius guy is a big shot right? If he's one of you guys, then it's fine by me." He was talking like he was someone important, but levels didn't really matter, all that mattered was delicious... sugary... honey cakes... "Sugar..." He waited too long without adding some more sweets in his mouth, he searched in his stash and pulled out seventeen peppermints jamming into his mouth. His eating habits were indeed sure to get him diabetes unhealthy, but somehow he didn't look fourty pounds overweight. "I sense that my presence isn't exactly welcome here, sorry for holding you guys up." Lazarus turned and did a silent wave to signal his goodbyes. "Phew, didn't have enough candy in my stash tank."

"Here, catch!" Lazarus threw a peppermint at Ssendom right before he heard him say he didn't like candy. The tiny peppermint hit him in the mouth, and Lazarus put on that 'Oh sorry pal' face. "Oops, let me pick that up." The candy man bent over and retrieved the peppermint looking back at Ssendom when he finished all the lollipops. "So you don't like candy? Well, that's okay." The candy man unintentionally made him mentally cringe, without even knowing it Lazarus was stuffing his face with muffins, cakes, and chocolate bars. "Dude, you're missing out on a lot!" It's surprising that this candy man could still talk with that much food in his mouth.

"So you're the guy I'm supposed to meet? You look tough." Lazarus took in a quick wiff of air and stared at him. "And you smell an awful lot like candy too, don't tell me you have a sweet tooth like me?" The candy man smiled with six lollipops in his mouth, it wasn't a teeth smile because then it'd be gross. He held out his fist suggesting 'Fistbump! Fistbump!' "You must be a real cool guy if you like candy, actually, I think all of you are cool." Lazarus looked at Kiru, then Ssendom. "So, I'm Lazarus, not sure if I told you guys my name or not."

"Wrapper?" He had just swallowed when he heard Hydra utter those words. That was when he felt a stabbing pain in his... hand. "Aghh! It's in my hand!" The candy wrapper was sharp to the touch, hurting his hands as he clenched his fists. "You sugary demon! My beloved candy!" Lazarus burst into a flurry again, lashing out at Hydra trying to take any other sweets he might've found. "Oh, right." Lazarus put his 'I'm really bored' face on and released the tight grip on his fist. "Phew, that was a tough one. Hey, what's your name anyways pal'? Ah forget it, I'll just call you apple pie."

"A guild? Hmmmm... Let's sweeten the deal first." When Lazarus said 'Sweeten the deal' it probably meant 'Give me some candy' and you'd have to be an idiot not to understand. While following Kiru he quickly got bored and responded by shoving many candies into his mouth. "Frrrrr... Frrrrr frrrrfrrff?" Lazarus swallowed and spoke again. "So do you want to learn some more tricks? I know how to make myself dissappear." The candy man was bored beyond his mind at this point, wondering if there was candy at the end of the ordeal. He yawned and put a candy cane in his mouth and sharpened it with his mouth. "I wonder if this could be my new dagger."

"Uhhh, right, first you need the steps." The candy man pulled out his sack of sweets and tossed Kiru a peppermint. "Now first you put that on your palm, like this." Lazarus showed her the certain position her palm had to be in, and put a bunch of pudding in his mouth. "And positioning is everything, your hand has gotta be in this position!" He then instructed Kiru to (Insert magic trick method here). "And there, the most simple trick in the book that anyone can do."

"Oh I see, you want to know how I stole it. Alright, but I recommend checking that box again." The box felt empty as Lazarus had the cupcake in his hand, throwing it up in the sky and catching it. "Alright I'll tell ya', but in a more secluded place alright?" He motioned for Kiru to follow him into the back of the sweets shop and there he'd show her what to do. "It's a thing called 'magic', now you put it in your hand like this..." He put the cupcake in his palm and put his other hand on it, covering the entire pastry with his hands. "And now when I open my hands." The candy man opened his hands it the cupcake was gone. "Oh, damn. I forgot to tell you how to do it, ahahahaha!" Lazarus laughed, and then stopped. "Alright, now I'll need you to listen closely."

"What the!?" Lazarus glared at Hydra and rushed up to him, taking back the green sweet and putting it in his mouth. "Where did you get that? Ahh... You sugary thief!" He was visibly angry and put a dozen lollipops in his mouth while staring furiously at Hydra. It was hard to take Lazarus serious as he had twelve lollipops in his mouth. "Why I oughtta' show you a lesson' kid!" He finished the lollipops quickly, and then trusted cream buns into his mouth and waved his candied fists angrily at him. "My stash! Got it sugar delinquent?"

"You can't really say I'm an easy goin' kind of guy, I'm not exactly collecting all this candy for me to eat. I'm collecting it for my sister." Lazarus paused then laughed, "Sorry, I might sound like a liar since she's not in SAO. That doesn't really matter though, if I see another sad kid I could give them candy, only if they aren't annoying though." He did a long sigh and looked over to Zero. "So, how's your folks in the real world? Mine are usually workin' in hospitals or whatever." He popped sixteen peppermints in his mouth and finished them in one bite, and then he stuffed his face with slices of chocolate cake. "Frrr, frrrrfffr, frrfrr, frrr?" Lazarus realized he wasn't speaking correctly then swallowed. "Sorry, was going to ask if you had a little sister." He got back to work and found no materials.

ID#50177
Loot 5

Lazarus ravenously devoured most if not all the sweets on twenty tables, by that time he was actually full for once in his life. "Sugary heaven..." Now that that was done, he'd probably tour the area on search for some more sweets for his stash, or play some games to win prizes that were appealing to the eye. "So you're telling me to throw this dart at that target?" The booth owner looked at him in pain, "Yeah... Some girl threw that dart at my bosoms." Must've been painful he thought. "Alright, I'm going to hit it in the center for your cause hun!" Lazarus pulled his arm back and flung it towards the center of the target, aiming for a bulls eye on the tiny board. "Sugar..." He hit it directly and smiled, "Now what am I going to get?" The booth owner handed him over a kitsune mask and sighed with relief. "At least my bosoms aren't hurt."

ID#49927
Loot 19

+1 Kitsune Mask

This is getting strange, this girl was clearly not mentally normal, but that's none of Lazarus's concern. Perhaps it was a coping method used by children in SAO. He didn't know, whatever seemed rational to him was true. "So uh, got any other subject to talk about besides red velvet? Candy is a nice subject to talk about, I mean, it's sweet." Oh god, what was Lazarus doing? He picked up some of Evander's social awkwardness and fear. "I think I might've found something!" While searching for materials, he stuffed his mouth with pumpkin pies and looked closely at the area he was searching. "Candy? No candy."

ID#49925
Loot 11

What? Lazarus payed close attention to the joke and heard the punchline clearly; papurrrs. He cracked up a bit and then started laughing, "How the heck do you keep coming up with these kid?" The candy man got back to work and searched for materials looking under rocks and the occasional animal corpse. It was then that he found something shocking; an entire box of cake left uneaten! "Sugar..." In seconds the cake was gone and the box was nowhere in sight. Now it's time to get back to looking for materials, now what did was your name again? It's Ranmura right?"

ID#49783
Loot 3

Lazarus checked his surroundings looking for something sweet to eat, that was when he spotted it; CANDY! "S-Sugar... Delicious sugary honey cakes!" The candy man ran straight to the table with plates full of nothing put sweet honey cakes, in seconds he devoured an entire plate and proceeded to move on to another. While eating he pulled out a glass of milk from seemingly nowhere and put some on his desserts, making them have a different yet still delicious taste. "Man, whoever thought of this was one sugary pal!" Lazarus popped three peppermints in his mouth to clear his taste buds, then he looked over to the other table filled with sweet confections. "Sweet honey cakes, this is the best day of my life! Ermm... Second best day next to the day my little sister was born." Storming to the table, he grabbed loads of sweets and hid them in his clothes quickly, each of the hiding spots contain many various candies of which Lazarus has added to.

"Woah pal, no need to change your core personality over somethin' silly like that. I like candy, you like uhh.... Let's just go with girls." Lazarus pulled out his knife and flipped it, doing one of the many magic tricks he learned. The knife disappeared in a second, and then appeared in his left hand. "I can tell that you're a bit flirty judging from your face, that's just what my candy tells me anyways." He used the knife to dig at the dirt, which is a bad idea. The candy man hoped to find a material to trade for an entirely new stash, after all candy was pretty cheap in Aincrad yet he stole tons of it daily. Lazarus sadly found nothing besides a clump of dirt which didn't even taste good.

ID#49778
Loot 2

"You mean in gathering candy? Sure, I'm up for that, as long as you give me half of it. Wait, you're that frosting from earlier aren't you?" Lazarus payed attention to her schoolgirl uniform and realized nobody else wears stuff like that. "Huh, and you sound the same too, cracking a joke to yourself... Well, not much use being bored, am I right?" He stopped making smalltalk and looked for some materials on the ground, wondering if someone dropped some candy. "Wonder if I can make another candy horse... Hmm..." Lazarus became lost in thought thinking of candy but was still somehow able to look for materials while he was at it. "Candy? Not candy."

ID#49763
Loot 19
+1 Material

"Girlish face, what the hell are you talkin' about?" Lazarus was confused, did he really think he was a girl? "Out of all the fellas I've met, you're the strangest. Not one boy or girl mistaked me for what I'm not. I'm a candy man pal, and nothing else." He searched for materials around a bed of clovers, finding a four leafed clover but seeing no materials in sight. Lazarus sighed and put some pancakes in his mouth, making sure to add the syrup in right after. "You shoof try fhis shometimesh." It was hard to speak with sugary pancakes in his mouth, then the syrup starting to fall from his mouth. "Ah crap!" He shouted.

ID#49754
Loot 3

"Huh? Is that for me?" Lazarus pulled out the cupcake he stole from his stomach and ate it, he then put four peppermints in his mouth to refresh his breath. "Ah, I see, you saw me take the cupcake didn't you? So, whadd'ya wanna talk about? Sugary candy, or sweet delectable honey cakes?" After quickly finishing the peppermints he pulled out a slice of chocolate cake swiftly, the place where he pulled it out from was invisible. "S-Sugar..." Lazarus devoured the poor thing and then looked at Kiru again. "So what do you exactly want? Is it my candy, or are you curious of how I stole the cupcake?"

"Sugar... Delicious CANDY!" Lazarus jumped at the sight of the pastries, literally jumping through the window of the store. Somehow, the window broke but instantly respawned pushing him back. "Aghh.... That hurt..." He got up and brushed the dirt off of him, walking into the store in a gentlemanly way. There! He spotted it, the cupcake that he desired. 'I'll just use a magic trick in here, it'll work and they won't see it coming.' Lazarus walked up to the cupcake and examined it, he then put it in his palm and in a swift motion made it dissappear. "Score!" Lazarus turned the other way before someone put a hand on his shoulder, it was an NPC. "Just where do you think you're going with that cupcake?" The candy man looked at the NPC and showed him his sleeves, he then allowed the NPC to pat him down but he was unable to find anything. "Alright, I must've been mistaken, sorry sir." Back to business, Lazarus smiled and followed the white haired woman thinking she'd lead him to another candy store.

"The names Lazarus, and I ain't got much either." Lazarus pulled out his candy knife, it looked more like a joke weapon than an actual knife but it was still functional. "I guess I'll be seeing you around town, don't die pal' and good luck." The candy man gave a smile with some candy in his mouth before departing with a wave, but as soon as he walked off he dropped a lot of candy again. "DAMNIT!"

"I found this cool thing!" Lazarus held up a shining yellow stone which appeared to be a yellow sapphire (Counts as a normal material). Before long, he bit into it and heard a crack, "AUGHHH! Not candy!" His teeth regenerated in a few seconds and he looked back to Evander, back to the serious chat. "Yeah, I guess I like candy, I mean, it's sweet and sugary and all." He sighed. "Reminds me of the days when I was a kid, I was five and this girl shared some candy with me, and I loved it. Five years later, my little sister was born and she loved that sorta stuff too, except not as much as me." A tear came out of his eyes while he was chatting, "I promised her that if she was ever sad, I'd have something sweet to cheer her up, like bullies n' stuff like that y'know? Sweet sugar cakes... Now that I think of it, I used to beat up her bullies." Lazarus laughed and shrugged it off, putting a lollipop in his mouth after devouring the cotton candy.

ID#49639
Loot 18

+1 Material