Merlyn

“Think about it. Life back there is terrible. It's like God decided that, whether we like it or not, we are forced to stay there. Doesn't this feel like something we were owed? I can't be the only person who thinks this way... I figured if anyone would, it was you.”

You can be a hero here.

You don't have to worry about failing.

About not being good enough.

“We can be anyone we want to be. Here, it doesn't matter about our past; who we were and what life used to be are just that, in the past. I've even abandoned my real name.” An open, sincere smile played across the face of the girl, and Josiah felt an unshackling in his heart. Normally, he would think about whether or not she is lying, if she is using him or luring him into a trap, but in this moment, he could only think about what came ahead.

He didn't care what she really thought of him at all. All he could feel was gratitude, at a God that he felt had abandoned him long ago. Water welled in his eyes, and he felt unbidden the corners of his lips tugging up. He tried to suppress it, but they continued to move, until he beamed at the girl in front of him.

The smile leaped off her face, and he could see a reddening of her cheeks, although he didn't know why. She quickly recovered, and leapt to her feet, holding out a hand in front of Josiah.

“Hi. I am Mari. That's the only name I want to be known by in this world. We're going to be heroes.”

With one hand wiping at his face, Josiah clasped her hand in his.

“Geez, I'm being such a wuss right now. I promise I'm not normally like this.”

“Idiot. You're supposed to tell me your name when you introduce yourself.”

“I guess... you already know by looking at me right? I'm Merlyn. That's the only name anyone needs to know.”

With that, the two left the town square, heading for the nearest inn. The sunset dwindled into night, and as they had a drink in that inn, Merlyn could only feel like the world had given him a second chance. He would not waste it, no matter what life threw at him.

He would regret making that promise.

A week later, Mari vanished into thin air, wrapped in his arms.

What? What is she talking about?

The girl giggled at Josiah's stumped expression, and pressed on, her hands switching positions to form a bridge that she rested her head on, “I mean, why even think about that grey and boring world? You have this one now.”

See look...

She has the right idea...

Isn't this what you've always wanted?

Josiah fiercely shook his head, and stated, “Wait, I don't get it. Are you saying that you aren't - “

“You're a foreigner, right?”
The retort from the girl shut Josiah in his tracks, and his normal, easy-going smile and goofy exterior faded, replaced with a sneer of a cornered animal.

“What about it.”

However, the girl's face showed no signs of unease at this development, and she continued to chat as merrily as before, perhaps even more so,

“You would rather log in to a videogame of a world in which you can't speak the language, to play with people you don't even know, and get renown of purely virtual value, rather than make actual relationships with people in that world, right? So, isn't this Heaven for you?”

Josiah's eye twitched involuntarily, and his expression, normally malleable to his wishes, was unable to retrieve its mask, and a clear plea showed, readable to anyone that could understand facial queues.

Here, you can be whatever you want to be.

Your wrists don't hurt. You can do things you can't back there.

Heck, you don't even have to go to the bathroom anymore...

Josiah was disturbed from his reverie by a voice, and blushing, he immediately jumped onto his feet from the fountain, and looked down embarrassingly.

   “Sorry, was daydreaming. What's up, I'm - “ his voice caught in his throat as he stared forward at the girl in front of him.

   She was... radiant. Black hair flowed down to the back of what was possibly one of the most beautiful women that Josiah had ever met in his life. Pale skin contrasted with sharp green eyes, and he could dimly see the outline of a cloth bandage being held in his direction.

    “You looked like you were crying.”

    Huh?

    Confused, Josiah put a hand to his face, feeling a touch of wet salt that had found its way there unbidden, and he wiped away a tear that had crept onto his face without permission. Well, this was going well. Not even an hour into this new situation and he was already in tears. Not only that, there was a girl to see it. And Josiah was never good with girls.

    “Uh... sorry. I'm fine. Didn't even know it was happening.” he gave a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his head, “I was just remembering something from before I came here.”

    At this, the girl frowned and sat down on the fountain where Josiah had just been, resting a hand on her chin and resting the elbow on her knee, as if lost in deep thought.

    “Why?”

“Well,” Josiah adjusted himself on the bed, sitting up in a criss-cross and pushing back the hair from his eyes, “you know how it's treated as a reward, right? Like, if you do good in life, you get to spend eternity in happiness and all that stuff.”

“Sure. That's the story, right?”

“Yeah. So I've been thinking...” here Josiah cleared his throat, almost of guilt, and continued, “you know how a job works, right?”

“Oh?”

“You get paid for doing something. You don't usually want to do it, and most people that have one hate it. But they do it because society forces them into it. If they don't, they are kicked out onto the streets and live their lives begging for loose change. And screw them,” Josiah cut himself off, but Toby had focused his attention fully on the young adult, and so he forced himself to continue, “well, if you think about it, isn't life a job then?”

“You mean that not many people enjoy it?”

“I mean that you are forced into it. Even if you hate it. It's weird, right? I mean, we work for years doing something that we may not even want to do for a prize that we don't even know exists. It's like working without even knowing that you will make money at the end of it.”

As Josiah finished talking, Toby laughed and looked back with a wry grin on his face,

“Hey, you know what they say. God made us in his image.”

“Heh,” Josiah's face turned from an earnest cry to a soft smile, and he returned the laugh, “I guess that's true.”

With that, the two had continued on with their hobbies, but Josiah began to think.

This world is grey. Stale, flat, and worthless are all its offerings.

If God made this world in his own image, then does that mean he really doesn't give a damn about us?
I wish... I wish I was born into a different world. One vibrant, where even someone like me can be a hero.

I wish I didn't have to be Josiah Greene.

I wish...

I wish...

“I wish you would look up! I've been calling your name for the last five minutes.”

He was in college. Out in Berkeley, Calfornia, during the second semester of his first year. As usual, he was sprawled out on his bed, watching the latest anime while the day sped by around him. Toby was at his usual spot at the desk next to him, trolling online forums and every now and then mentioning something interesting happening in the game industry.

“Hey, Toby. You ever think about Heaven?” Josiah leaned back in his bed as he finished the final episode of an action show, cracking his knuckles and wincing as the pain in his wrists intensified.

Toby scrunched up his face, and clicked through his forum to another page as he considered the question, “I don't know. I never thought about it. Why, you gonna kill yourself or something? Do it when I'm out of the room. I don't need the trauma.”

Josiah barked out a laugh even as his eyes winced at the comment, “That's cruel dude. You know I would never hurt myself as long as you're here with me,” his hands formed a heart and a goofy grin showcased themselves on Josiah's face, and he stuck his tongue out at the Japanese transfer student.

“Then I really need to get out of the room then.” The two shared a laugh, and Toby smirked as he continued, “Ok, I'll humor you. What about Heaven?”

“Aghhhhhh!”

Josiah's hands flew to his face in a flash, and not a moment later his cheeks turned red as the other players turned to look at the foreigner that was freaking out five minutes late. He waved his hands in protest, and a dry laugh escaped his throat.

“Play it off...” he mumbled under his breath, giggling at his own awkward outburst before sinking down onto the fountain, holding his head in his hands.

What was he doing? He was no leader. He could barely even get out of the bed to go to class most mornings. It was weird of him to even think that.

It was weird, wasn't it though? Strangely lonely, being in this new world. He looked around, and realized that most of these people had friends that they were processing this with. He couldn't see Toby, although there was always the chance he was hanging out with his girlfriend from back home, but almost every other person he could see was either holding each other and bawling their hearts out or arguing about the right way to proceed with their life. It was all so... normal, somehow, even despite the strange.

That's right. Most of these people went to school together. Or were coworkers, or even families. He could see a father holding his son and whispering that things were going to be alright. God, even the eleven-year olds were together with someone.

“I mean, that makes sense. I am the foreigner in this game, right?

All of them would rally without his help.

He would just sit back and watch in the background, as he always has, as others take care of his problems.

A rush hit him in the stomach, and he crumpled into himself, the realization that he would just continue living as he always had somehow causing his stomach to churn and ache.

Jeez...

Look at you...

How Pathetic...

And Josiah sank into the darkness of his mind.

So we have to escape...

The first step would obviously be organization. They would need craftsmen, fighters, and alchemists. Fighters would bring materials for the craftsman and alchemist guilds, whom would craft and create potions for the fighters as they come back from clearing floors. Toby and Josiah had already discussed this at length before he had entered Aincrad. He didn't know if Toby was there, but Josiah could apparently understand and communicate with the other players somehow, so he wouldn't be needed. This setup would increase efficiency in level-grinding and monster-hunting, and make clearing the floors easy.

However...

However, originally Toby was going to spearhead that all. Josiah himself was just to be a piece, a foreigner unable to speak for himself whom would act as a loner in raids on floor bosses. It's why he chose the dagger, so that he could sneak around and fight off single targets without communicating much with the rest of the party. Josiah himself was never big for communication anyways, even if everyone was speaking his language now.

And besides...

If it was me leading the charge...

We would be doomed to failure.

Wait, hold on a second.

What the hell is going on?

It had been 3 minutes since the announcement. All at once, the language around Josiah had turned from Japanese to perfect English. Not only that, but he figured out that he couldn't log off.

“What is going on?” he mumbled under his breath and turned to the man on his right.

Alright. Construct your face. Remember to smile, and let it reach into your eyes. Keep your voice laid-back and relaxed, and a little upbeat. People are more likely to talk to someone who is acting upbeat and easy-going then curt and brief.

His mantra complete, a lazy smile slid its way across the confines of Josiah's face like a snake would slither its way up a tree trunk, and he began to speak at the Japanese man in front of him:

“Hey, dude. You know what's going on here? I kinda didn't - “ Josiah got out half of his explanation before the expression on the man's face shocked him into silence. It was... disgusting, full of fear and surprise and depression, and from this one look, the American was able to ascertain all he needed to know about the situation. The man, about ten years older than Josiah himself, choked on the miasma of terror that was floating about him, and inwardly Josiah winced. So, this was actually happening.

“You... you didn't hear? We're trapped here! I... oh god, I told Makise that I would be home for dinner, what am I going to do? I mean, what... “ the rest of the man's diatribe faded out as Josiah began ignoring him. Sad as it was, nothing that the adult was saying made any sense, and Josiah himself was already beginning to understand the implications of this anyways.

So, they were trapped here.

Username: Merlyn

Real Name: Josiah Greene

Age: 18

Birthdate: September 21st

Gender: Male

Height: 5'9''

History:
The whole world was grey. I didn't know why I was alive. Just a replaceable cog in a machine as old as time.

There is no meaning to find in it. It's just a chain of events heading to a foregone conclusion. A chore that you do before moving on to the next adventure. This is what Josiah Greene felt during the school year leading up to the advent of the VRMMO. Withdrawn and suspicious of others, Josiah kept a small circle of friends in his college in America, wasting away watching anime while others explored their youth. When he learned of the new VRMMO technology taking place in Japan, the opportunity for a real escape to this boring life presented itself to him. He pestered his roommate Toby to get access to the Japanese servers where the premier game was launching, and was able to get access to the servers. Spending all of his saved college funds in order to import a VR set and a strong connection to reduce ping times, Josiah enters Aincrad in a state of wonder at seeing a world in color for the first time. Until all of a sudden, he realizes he can see things more clearly than if it was just a videogame's graphics....

Personality:

I can be anyone I want to be here.

Josiah at the beginning of his adventure is a man with something to prove. Lazy, tired, and addled with depression in his real life, he takes Aincrad as a chance to reinvent himself. Knowing that he would never fit in as a front-of-the-line fighter, however, he decides instead to invest his skills in the dagger, hoping to skirt around fights and pick off weak or wounded foes.

Josiah is a complicated individual. Although keeping an easy-going and sarcastic attitude on the surface, his inner demons are constantly rioting throughout his mind. He often feels that he isn't good enough for this world that he was shoved into, and that he will drag others down and get them killed. He has a crippling lack of self-confidence owing to emotional abuse he suffered throughout his childhood at the hands of peers, and obsesses over what other people think. He has grown very good at concealing these emotions though, and often manages to act as a confident man. He is reluctant to make friends, as he fears that they will get sick of him or he will fail them. However, once someone makes the effort, Josiah is loyal to a fault, willing to stand by a friend until the end, maybe as an attempt to repay the friend for putting up with him. While not necessarily smart, Josiah as a vague concept of tactics and a modicum of resourcefulness, able to think of advantages others would not in order to turn a situation in his favor. His ability to conceal emotions makes lying and negotiating easier for him then most.

Although lazy on his entry to Aincrad, the New World has revitalized him. If you asked him, he probably wouldn't want to go back to his world at all. However, the idea of becoming a hero unlike anything in his last world is a powerful thought, and so Josiah pushes forward through the floors, looking forward to either become a hero or die in this New World: where living actually means something.

Appearance:
Nobody needs to know who I am.

Josiah has long, unkempt brown hair that's constantly getting into blue eyes. As a foreigner, he is often looked at by the populace merely for looking different than the other adventurers that populate Aincrad. Because of his self-critical and distrustful nature, he believes that he is quite unattractive, and tries not to draw much too attention to himself by covering the lower half of his face with a black mask. He is currently wearing a set of cloth clothing from the beginner's set, as well as a green cloak. He uses the hood of the cloak whenever he is outside, only taking it down when alone in his room at the inn or when out fighting monsters.

Virtue:

There is no such thing as a good feature. It is invariably tainted.

Cunning: Due to his easy-going nature and self-confident surface, Josiah is practiced at getting his way. Josiah loves to gather information about the target of his manipulation, and through this worm his way into a favorable position, although admittedly he hasn't had to do it often in a world where everyone is working towards the same goal. He is especially good at reading emotions, and pushing buttons by finding a sensitive topic and needling his target until the target snaps.

Distrusting: Josiah reads between the lines. Every line uttered by anyone that isn't a friend is analyzed two or three times over, for certain meaning. Strangers expressing offers of help are often subjected to an unknown background check as Josiah travels around gathering information on the activities of the target. Although, this is flipped on its head if the target is a close friend: Josiah is loyal to a fault, and would walk through fire if somebody he considered a friend asked. He knows this is a failing of his, and will probably kill him someday in this world, full of Pkers in disguise and others whom are opposed to the climbing of the floors.

Resourceful: Josiah's guile expands to the battlefield. A fan of cheap tactics in war and in melee, Josiah will often sweep sand to blind an opponent, feint and take a dirty shot, and do whatever it takes to win. It is entirely possible, if he believed he was going to be killed, he would attempt to poison the attacker beforehand. However, it is also possible his crippling self-doubt and fear of failure would prevent him from acting until directly attacked, in the chance that the suspicious target was actually innocent of this.

Kind-hearted: Josiah, although distrusting, manipulative, and dirty in his methods, has positive virtues as well. Josiah will not leave someone behind to die except for extreme circumstances. Even strangers. His fear of failure and wish to be a better person do not allow him to run away. This can also lead to extreme danger for Josiah, however. He is intolerant of Pkers, and even to those whom had a good reason for doing so, will often needle and insult them if in the same party. If he was paired with an unstable person whom accidentally murdered, his needling and prodding might lead to violent conflict. This kind heart could also leave him open to Pks, as he would try not to kill unless absolutely necessary, when it might be too late.

Flaw:

Humankind is full of flaws. There is so such thing as a saint or angel among us. We are all just pigs climbing over each other for the biggest piece of slop.

Cynical: Josiah's worldview is very bleak. Before he entered Aincrad, he constantly thought of God, and why he was put into the world he was. Since entering Aincrad, that has since passed, but he still loves to ponder the inherent evil in humanity. He believes that the majority of people, if offered the choice, would escape the game alone and leave the rest to die rather than die to allow the others to live on, if that makes sense. Although this leads to trust difficulties, it also gives him his analytic and cunning approaches to situations.

Self-Critical: Everything that Josiah does wrong, he reviews over and over in his head. Every moment, every word in a lost debate, even saying something stupid to a pretty girl. He hates himself for not being good enough to be a leader, for being weaker than the others that came at the same time as him, and even for many of his virtues, which he sees as weaknesses or traits of evil men. However, his ability to analyze every little detail of his actions help him in dealing with assholes. While others may stay away from quirky people, he can act normally with them, usually able to determine why they are acting like an asshole and just run with it with an easy-going smile and a patient attitude. This widens his pool of possible allies should he ever want something in the future.

Atychiphobia  : Josiah's fear of failure can lead to many things in the game. He is hesitant to make allies because his mind tells him that he isn't good enough; he will fail his partner and kill him or her. For the first two weeks the Death Game began, he did nothing but train his body because he did not believe himself strong enough to fight (not that it would do anything in the first place, with everything being decided by stats). He needs to calculate, to estimate, to fight monsters below his level several times and take several tiny steps forward. He yearns to be a hero, but also doesn't want to. For if he is the hero, any deaths that result during the floor fights are on him, and he couldn't bear that responsibility. This fear of failure and his desire to overcome it both create his reason for moving towards the frontline and also prevent him from ever achieving that goal.

Profession:

Even still, my arms... they are shaking. This feels like something I have been waiting for all this time.

(Haven't done the quest yet)

Skills:

Maybe, in a place like this, even I could be a hero.

Remaining SP: 0
Starting SP: 5

Roleplay SP:
Quest SP:
Non-combat:
»
Passive:
»
Combat:
»
Weapon skills:
» One Handed Dagger: Rank 1 (5/50)

Inventory:

Even though I am weak, and have nothing to offer.

Weapons/Tools:
» One-Handed Dagger x2 (one for backup in case of disarm)

» Basic Black Cloth Set. Contains a green cloak with hood.

» 10 bread, 15 Water

Roleplays(comin soon!)

Even though the journey will be long.

Relationships:
And even though I may lose everything.

Lauren – Sister two years younger. She wanted to play Aincrad, but was not able to secure a copy as it was not yet released in the United States. The two were close and played lots of League of Legends together in the months before the Death Game

Toby – Roommate with connections to the company that made the game. Managed to snag two VR machines and game copies from across the sea. Josiah does not know if Toby entered the game before it started, or if he is alive in the game. Toby always did have delusions about what would happen if he was in a videogame.

Story So Far: (also placeholding, I guess?)

My name is Josiah Greene. But everyone here will know only Merlyn.