[PP FL 1 ] The beginning of the end [ Mayonaka][Complete ]

[Kiluia Seiko 0]

The wind whipped around the frame of the young man as he stared at the open space down below. The actual area had been clear for awhile now since suicide was a low. He smiled sadly as he threw a rock at the edge and watched it shatter. About one full minute, he calculated in his head. He wanted to think of how long it would take before it would fade to black. Religiously, he would be going to hell. And hell seemed like a nice place than his own personal hell he had created for himself.

He pulled his silver frames off and tucked them in his shirt. Legs would heave up and over to the ledge and he took a look down once more. It was interesting. Everyone has gone and he still remained. Why did he want to stay? Nothing was holding him back from doing this." Show time."

[Mayonaka 0]

As I slowly ran my finger over the ledge of Aincrad, staring down at the nothingness below. I thought about what had happened, what was running through my head when I stared at this exact place; when I once considered offing myself. Now looking back at it, I laughed but stopped when I thought about who didn't want me to die, there were some. Though, one player I met stuck out though, Kiluia. There was an obvious reason for me to think about him, he practically spilled anything that left him vulnerable to me. Badly, I wanted to see him and tell him I'm sorry for making him tell me even though the only reason he did was to make me not kill myself; to make me feel better.

I looked in front of me, on the ledge was another player gearing up to jump from Aincrad. I walked fast over to them, to prevent them from jumping. When I got closer I realized it was Kiluia. Kiluia! What the heck are you doing! Get off of that, it's dangerous! I said frantically and tugged on his shirt.

[Kiluia Seiko 0]

It was a very upsetting circumstance seeing Mayonaka there and he simply was pulled back by his shirt. He hopped down and then sat on the edge looking at her. "How'd it go?" He changed subject with her instantly. He actually stopped caring about anything and was responding automatically with certain remarks. He really felt hollow inside. But he did force a smile knowing that she did find him. Not that it really mattered much. "Actually... Hi." He simply looked at her. Hand went back to his glasses and looked at her." Didn't expect to find you here."

He didn't think anything of anything.. or nothing.. nothing mattered. Not anymore at least. He just wanted to go. Go see people he had lost before an maybe this was all fake and he would be transported home where he would wake up in a sweat. A demented illusion of course.

[Mayonaka 0]

I felt a breath of relief when Kiluia got off the ledge so easily. Pushing back my apology, I again inquired him about what in the world he was doing. Kiluia. Now isn't the time to discuss things like that. Tell me what you are doing here. I said in a dead serious tone, I was not joking around. I hoped he would answer me without a smart remark, with the truth. I know I have requested the truth too many times but can you please tell me?

[Kiluia Seiko 0]

Seeing her face brought him to laugh a bit as she had a serious tone. The last thing he needed was someone who actually cared. But he shook his head and took his glasses off to clean them. " Mayonaka.. I'm tired. I really am very tired. " He started to explain himself." I've been in the ringer so many times, I've lost count as to why I'm even really here anymore. "He spoke in a soft tone." My wall.. It took me a month by myself to not think of wretched things like people dying and losing the ones I cared about. " He shrugged." I was stupid to think that I could do something about it.. save people, change their lives, prevent suicide and of all things escape this stupid game. I've lost the person I've loved, I've lost my best friend. I don't know anyone else here because everyone is GONE. " He shouted at this point but he cleared his throat and looked at her." Sorry. I can't deal with heartbreak one more time. I'm tired of empty promises and the sensation of it. Its a terrible feeling that you almost went through."

[Mayonaka 0]

Seeing Kiluia in pain struck me, this wasn't right. Kiluia I'm sorry you have suffered and I know you told me about your heartbreaks and your personal things because I was crying, because I was scared, because I had awful thoughts. Do you remember what you said to me that day? You told me that everything will be alright, to never give up! Kiluia don't be a hypocrite and do something as stupid as offing yourself, your living proof that no matter how unbearable the pain is that it can be bared, it just takes time. I need you to understand that Kiluia, I'm NOT GONE YET! I said very sternly with a scary look on my face. After what happened with Grim I wasn't about to just let him kill himself. I may sound very pathetic right now but...don't..please. I pleaded him, choking down tears that tried to force themselves out. I c-can't handle anymore death.. I say in my head, I didn't say it out loud because if I did and Kiluia didn't kill himself I would know why, because me, I wouldn't be able to live knowing that. I know your unhappy right now but Kiluia your my friend!

[Kiluia Seiko 0]

He stared at her and the own speech he gave her was given right back. He simply shook his head as he spoke to her." Heres what you don't understand. I told you not to give up because you didn't exhaust your options. I went off on my own to look for those people that disappeared as to where you didn't. I didn't want you to have that regret if you decided to end your life and not being able to give that chance to live. Secondly.. I don't want my nightmares. I don't want to see their faces.. I don't want to reach out in the middle of the damn night and waking up in a sweat knowing that they were only a dream. " He slammed his fist into the cobble. " I just don't want to do it anymore. I don't even remember I actually slept. I don't know how long I've been like this and I don't know how long I've been wanting to end this life of mine. I just know I'm tired. If I had you there.. if I had ANYONE there who to comfort me or to tell me it was okay when it happened, I wouldn't of been like this. I wouldn't be wanting a way out.." He sat there quietly placing his face in his hands. It was obvious they were friends, yet rarely they talked. Then again it was his fault to begin with.

[Mayonaka 0]

I stood there in shock at what he had just said to me, it was heart wrenching to know that he had been suffering for so long. I hated every bit of this conversation that we were having. He experienced a lot more pain that I could ever know, I couldn't even imagine what he was feeling right now. Kiluia...I-I don't want you to die! I know that I'm being selfish for telling you to live right now, even with all of the pain your enduring but I can't see another one of my friends die right in front of me! It can't be this way, it just can't.I said and let a small tear escape my eye. I swiped at it immediately and looked at Kiluia with the same face I looked at Grim with when he jumped off the ledge. There may not have been someone as kind as you to tell you it's okay but there is someone right now Kiluia!

[Kiluia Seiko 0]

"...." He simply looked up and sighed a bit. He watched as this girl appeared to cry before him and he simply sighed once\more. Hand would reach out and touch her face a bit and wipe away the tears." If you were only there.. " he whispered a bit before standing up. He looked down at the open air and took a deep breath." If only you had been there when I was crying. Or when I was deep inside a hole in a wall.." He leaned over and placed his elbows on the cobblestone. " If only a lot of things had happened.. or If I met you instead of her.. or things like that nature.." He laughed sadly as he looked over at her. Could he do this knowing someone would miss him? He looked distant as he let the silver hair fly in the wind. Tired and betrayed by life.. he simply took one last breath before speaking." I don't know what I want anymore.."

[Mayonaka 0]

I wiped my cheek and looked at Kiluia who was staring out into the clouds. I'm here now Kiluia, that's what your friends are for. No matter how late they are, as long as they come in the end right? I said, hoping to persuade him even more. You'll figure out what you want, just give it some time... I pressed my hand gently to his back, trying to reassure myself into thinking that I did this he wouldn't jump.

[Kiluia Seiko 0]

He felt her hand on his back and he slowly decided to turn around and gaze at her. He simply shook his head." What I needed died a long time ago.. What I want I can't seem to find anymore." He simply sighed and rested his head back a bit and slumped to the ground. " You don't have to stay here anymore. I'm.. just gonna sit here and think about my life and re evaluate what I've done. " He rubbed his eyes. He hadn't shed any tears because there wasn't anything left in the tank. " I won't promise you I won't jump but I promise it won't be today." He rubbed his own shoulders. She had happiness. That guy Ryu had happiness.. why couldn't someone like himself come a long and help him find happiness? Strange how fate was cruel. Was it his job to take care of these unwanted feelings of others and burden himself? So many questions but no answers.

[Mayonaka 0]

I have an exasperated sigh of relief when he said today was not the day he would leave Aincrad..I don't care what you promise, promises are always broken Kiluia. I'm not going to leave you alone to sit by yourself, if I did go away then history might as well repeat itself. I'm here for you this time, your friend is her this time. I said to him and sank down to my knees in front of him with a warm smile. I reached my hand out to wipe his tears, which he once did with me but I stopped when I saw none. Imstead, I gently grabbed his hand and closed my eyes. Kiluia, no one, especially not you, ever deserves to feel this way. I do sincerely hope that you will meet someone though..I hope you do. I said, trying to be optimistic right now for his sake.

[Kiluia Seiko 0]

He looked at her and tilted his head." It wasn't just about falling in love... I'm tired of everyone leaving...and leaving me alone. "He simply looked down." Leaving me behind. Everyones moving forward but me." He gently clutched her hand and bit down his lip. " Its just not fair. I don't understand if its me or if I've done something wrong.. " He admitted. He had always tried to do the right thing but it never seemed to work out if the right thing was for him. If it was someone else, it helped out immensely.. So why wasn't he as lucky? " I don't expect you to understand."

[Mayonaka 0]

You aren't being left alone, if that was true then I wouldn't be here now would I? I say with a small smile and continue on.Kiluia, if you haven't been moving on then how are you here right now? You have made it this far and have gotten over a great deal of pain, your stronger than all of Aincrad, so don't let it break you. i gently let go of his hand and started to stand up and lean over the ledge that separated so many lives from this world. You have done nothing wrong, it's everyone else that's wrong about you. And sometimes the future isn't kind to anyone; but is wasn't something you did wrong.

[Kiluia Seiko 0]

He simply looked away at the sky and spoke to her." Its been like that for awhile. Just because people maybe here now.. doesn't mean they will be later. I just wanted a constant in my life. Whether or not it be a loved one.. a best friend.. something. I don't know. But it would of been nice... "He spoke as he stood up and dusted his clothing off. " My future is still undetermined.. and I wish I just wasn't the one suffering." He shrugged a bit." Ryu must be worried about you. " he spoke softly." Go back to him. I'll be fine."

[Mayonaka 0]

Well Kiluia, go get yourself someone that will change your life! You are in control of your actions so...so go make some friends! I said and got off of the ledge with a smile and faced Kiluia with a grin. He would be worried, wouldn't he? Well, thank you, keep your promise. See you around sometime! With that being said, I turned around and walked away from him, looking once more behind me to make sure he didn't get right back on and jump anyways. I changed someone's life today! I stopped a death of a friend.. I thought, smiling with content and walked away from Kiluia, looking back every now and then behind me.