(PP-F4) What it means to mess up (Pyro) [Complete]

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

Arekkusu wanted to isolate himself, he walked down the road in order to come across an isolated tree. He had recently killed Seeka indirectly, but her tortured screams still ring in his head louder than anything. He saw the faces of the suffering players he fought alongside to kill a giant enemy. Then he had to stab through what looked like his girlfriend just for him to survive. He felt like a monster, and these things were just some of the few things he ever did.

Arekkusu slumped his back against the tree and closed his eyes as he lowered his back down until he saw down on the grass. Ignite was on Arekkusu shoulder, leaving him alone while he sulked and dwelled on what he wanted to do. His eyes burned as he clenched his eyes together, he desperately wanted to cry. Just cry to the top of his lungs and let all his troubles go for the few minutes he wanted to cry. But Arekkusu couldn't do it, he couldn't bring himself to cry, which depressed him much more. His hair covered his face, causing a giant shadow to cast over his face. He looked at his blade and grew angry with it. The blade he felt was an assistant to what he ever did, and he threw it out of range whilr screaming angrily.

"RRRAAAAAAAAGH!" Arekkusu yelled before he then slumped onto his knees and hung his head down. He lost it, he didn't want to play Sao anymore. He wanted to forget everyone he ever met in the game and everything that ever had to so with it. But there he was, trapped, powerless, a suffering 14 year old child lost his mind in sao.

[Pyro 0]

Pyro had just fought the sand monster... she planned to tell her friends about everything, to explain her unwanted actions before anything got out of hand. But how was she supposed to tell anyone she was insane? Would they even understand? Pyro shook and started to cry. She couldn't help the uncomfortable shivering or the headache pounding at the back of her head. She wiped the tears away from her crimson eyes and tugged at her messy hair. It was down and all over the place like it would look if she hadn't slept for days; which was probably true she just couldn't remember. Suicide would've made its way to Pyro if she wasn't so scared, if she didn't already know so many people.

 

A blade flew her way and landed perfectly in the ground in front of Pyro. She picked it up and inspected it, turning it from side to side. It was oddly familiar... had she crafted it? Pyro looked around and walked towards the direction the sword came from and noticed someone on their knees next to a tree. Screaming emitted from the player and she recognized him immedietly. Just in case, Pyro rubbed her tired eyes to make sure he was real. When she knew for sure it was Arekkusu she ran over to him and sat in front of him on her knees as well. She touched his back with a shaking, slender hand. How could she help a friend if she couldn't even help herself? It would be a tougher act than she usually had to pull off but if it was for Arekkusu... a good friend, she would do anything. "P-Plea.. ease don't c-cry or be sa-add Arekk-usu. I'm he-ere." Pyro tried to speak but it sounded rough and cracked.

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

"Don't come near me...please..." Arekkusu begged the familiar voice from above, not he could remember who it was from. He was looking down the whole time, there was no way for him to remember by just hearing the voice. He looked up at the person to see that it was Pyro trying to comfort him, but he continued on. "I don't want to hurt you... Please leave me."

Arekkusu tried his best to look strong again, but while he was being eaten away from the world, he couldn't find the strength to even pretend to be like the noble Arekkusu everyone thought of him to be.

"I've done bad things." Arekkusu said as he held his knees and started shivering. "Many bad things, I'm censored, I feel like I could snap at any second... I don't want your blood on my hands... Please..."

[Pyro 0]

Pyro was surprised at the changed Arekkusu. But that's probably exactly what she was like... or going to seem. She shook her head. "I-I'm not leaving you h-here. I would rather die... I'd rather save you. So don't go pus-shing me a-away because it's not going to wo-ork. I'm... the same!" Pyro took her hand away from Arekkusu's back and tugged at her messy, tangled hair. "I'm crazy Arekkusu! I don't know what to do and I'm so scared~ Anything could happen and you don't think I understand but I do! Th-that monster messed with my head and I need help that I don't have. I'm reverting to my old ways and I'm scared..." Pyro sobbed and started to rant. "P-please just let me... let me help y-you and you c-can he-elp me." She stared at Arekkusu, hope and tears glimmering in her eyes. She took very deep and quick breaths and dug her nails deep into her scalp, drawing fake SAO blood. It hurt but she didn't care. What was pain anymore?

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

Arekkusus eyes were somewhat red since he forced them to so things beyond their limit. Pyro caught his attention, saying he wasn't the only one that is insane or at least lost. His looked up to see that she wasn't joking, her state seemed as unstable as his. His hands wanted to grip his blade again and shun her by slicing through her and killing her if she didn't leave him alone. But he also wanted to relate, have someone talk to time knowing that they went through the same thing. His palm was marked with cuts, he tried to escape but couldn't bring himself to do it several times.

"..." Arekkusu stayed silent while he stared at Pyro, who stared back at him, both pairs of eyes hollow among both players. It was a shame that this was how they were connected, by not just their pain, but their insanity as well. He flicked through his inventory and looked for an apple, then held it in his palm and squeezed it, trying to keep himself from losing all common sense. "Stay then...please... I need your help...I'll try"

[Pyro 0]

The hands that dug into her scalp retreated as Arekkusu accepted her presence. A weight lifted from Pyro's shoulders. She was worried, worried for many reasons, but mainly worried that Arekkusu would do something that he would one day regret. She stared at the apple held in his hand. "O-Oka-ay." Pyro stuttered and wiped more incoming tears from her eyes. "I don't know how to stop it, h-honest. But I like not being alo-ne." Pyro began. "...Some-ti-times I w-wake up and don't know what I'm doing... or did." She chewed on a very low-cut fingernail and bleeding thumb. "Can you speak? A-About what happened? I'm calm for now. If I start to laugh or be mean don't take it too seriously.. c-can't control it."

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

Arekkusu closed his eyes and breathed in to try to cobtrol himself, but that only made his tensions rise much higher than ever. Arekkusu had to control himself, so he made himself defensless by taking off his coat and scarf, so he couldn't inflict damage to Pyro if he tried to. Ignite flew onto Pyro shoulder and rested herself on Pyro. It seems Ignite liked her, so Arekkusu didn't mind it. He then shakily answered, trying not to lose himself as he spoke.

"I'm a murderer..." Arekkusu said with a small tear rolling down his right eye, somehow able to do it so easily. "My ex girlfriend in the real world... When we were dating, she would always control what I would do... I didnt really take notice of this until she one day smashed my Violin with a mallet. She damn well knew that Violin meant everything to me, and it was how I made a living... But she didn't care. She wanted me under her control, and so we broke up. It turns out that she threatened everyone to kill them if they dared become my friend, and she stabbed someone without motive just to make a statement... T-t-three years later, my brother had a modified nerve gear that allows people to go in... And out... So she stabbed my brother three times before taking the gear and confronting me. She tried to make me beg for mercy and be hers again, saying she would rip off my nerve gear if I didn't comply... I fought her... And she wasn't bluffing. I tried my best, and eventually I won... But I didn't want to be a player killer. Not because of her... So I stabbed her through her chest and through the rock so she couldn't move... A wave of monsters then arrived to kill her. And since she had nerve gear, she was going to die... Her screams when I walked away still haunt me... I deserve to be a player killer! I am a murderer!"

[Pyro 0]

Pyro stiffened as Ignite landed on her but relaxed when it did nothing and listened to Arekkusu's story. She was surprised nonetheless, the story itself was surprising. Pyro brought her knees to her chest and stared at him with her crimson eyes. "You're no killer... I know you. You did the right thing." Pyro said softly and stopped chewing on her throbbing, bleeding thumb. She didn't know what to do exactly. She'd had thoughts of killing other players before but never actually hurt anybody else. Pyro leaned forward and hugged Arekkusu not caring if he would hurt her or not. It was something she needed, desperately, and he was the only person around. She squeezed him tight and buried her head in his neck. "D-Don't l-let go. I trust you... Arek-kusu. I t-think bo-th of us are capable. It's hard, though."

 

Pyro let go, Ignite still on her, and leaned back to give him some space. "Please don't feel bad! The monsters are the one's that truly killed her you did nothing! The image of my mother still haunts me... It's like the thought of everything that's haunting me is burned into my soul and I see it whenever I blink. So I can.. relate. I can't remember the last time I slept! A-All I can do is scream or whisper nonsense to myself endlessly." She hit herself numerous times on the forehead. "Ugh! I want to die but I'm too scared.." Pyro started to tear up again. "Don't le-let me if I try. Promise me. We c-can protect each other!"

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

Arekkusu felt an embrace from behind, which caused him to shutter and try to grip his blade from the holder, only for it to not be there. Good thing too, if he wasn't thinking, he would've slit her throat at the moment, but he felt shocked from the hug, but he felt that it was needed. She then actually said that she trusted him... That was the first time anyone told him that directly. He felt himself calm down a little bit, especially when he was told that it wasn't his fault, but the screams still haunted him. But for now, he didn't lose all of his sanity, but he gripped onto his arm tightly to the point in which it bled, the apple not being the stress relief anymore

He then heard her say that she wanted to die, but she was too scared to. That didn't get approval, not from this player. Ignite returned to Arekkusus inventory as he then put his non blood covered hand onto her bloody head. The nails cut their way in deep. Arekkusu saw his health bar deplete. He didn't care now, it wasn't his moment.

"I...promise..." Arekkusu said shakily. "I-i don't want you to die on me. I won't let you do that to yourself... Not while I am not doing it to myself, I need your help too... Tell me... What's your story?"

[Pyro 0]

Pyro blinked a few times before answering Arekkusu's question, though she had calmed down a little bit when he agreed they could protect each other. "W-When I was a little girl I was mentally un-s-stable. I think I sent a lot of kids to the hospital, maybe even some parents. I was t-taken ... no, forced out of school and put into house lockdown f-for a long time. They made me take so many pills I-I could barely remember my name and when I could remember I had to take shots and was so numb that it hurt. My psychiatrist tricked me into becoming.. a-acceptable. When I we-ent back to school I was bullied r-reall-y-y bad and I just... just wanted to kill everybody! To burn down the school! But the look on my parents fa-ces. They were proud! Proud of me! So I-I pretended, acted, and promised myself I would be a good kid.... I've been lying to you. To all of my friends. And th-that fight broke me, the look on my "mother's face". It's so h-hard to act your whole life! I lied when I said we got stronger from the fight. Especially m-me. Forgive me... Arekkusu. I'm a liar, I've always been mad." 

 

She began chewing on a different finger, blood staining her tips. It was a habit, a stress reliever. Her throat burned already from speaking and her body was twitching and shaking uncontrollably. 'This is stupid! There's no way I could be fixed... I'm already broken.' She told herself as the built up tears spilled down her cheeks.

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

Arekkusus eye went hollow, killing someone was one thing, but that gave him suffering for the rest of his life, not his whole life. This girl calls herself a liar, but she is only doing it for the best... But she can never be herself... This is a sad story that Arekkusu can compare to his fathers death and think that he wasn't the only one who suffered.

Arekkusu stepped forward closely, desperate to calm her down and cheer her up in some sort of way. There was only so much a 15 year old boy could do though. He embraced her slowly with a hug from up front, trying to soothe the pain as much as he could.

"Shhhh..." Arekkusu said trying to silence her crying. "Pyro... I know you aren't lying to me right now... And this is who you are supposed to be... So why am I not afraid of you? The reason is, you are truly a good person. Think, you can't take any drugs in this game, yet you had us all fooled. Don't put a mask over your face, at least not in front of me."

He then let go, remembering his father next... Then Arekkusu gripped his shirt tightly and his eyes went blank, lost in thoughts of the bar fight that Arekkusu could do nothing but witness... Witness his fathers death when Arekkusu was so young.

[Pyro 0]

Pyro shook her head slowly and wiped the tears from her face when Arekkusu told her to be herself around him, that he accepted who she was. She leaned back when he let go and tilted her head in confusion when Arekkusu held onto his shirt. He seemed to be far away, like when Pyro daydreamed, she knew that look. She tugged at her hair some more and this time didn't stop. "A-rekkusu, what are you thinking about now? I think it would be best... if we got e-everything off of our shoulders now." Pyro took another deep breath and patted one of Arekkusu's shoulders before putting both hands back onto her lap. "I'm not going to say it's going to be okay... because that would be a lie. But, I-I'll try my best to make everything better... better than it is. L-Like when you hugged me." She put a small smile on her face, to show that she was feeling at least a little better and hoped he would feel the same afterwards.

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

Arekkusu closed his eyes, fear consumed him. He remembered how he was at the Christmas party he almost followed his fathers footsteps by trying to drink. Arekkusu punched the groumd with all of his might, breaking the ground, but leaving bloody knuckles as a counter. He was so mad at himself, if it weren't for Ignite, Arekkusu would've been through with life all the way. Did he want to tell his story?

"I-I..." Arekkusu then felt his tears pour down his face, not just one, but all the tears in the world that he could let go. "I was once a normal boy... Ten... Happy... Fun...maybe a little ditzy. My father... My father... My father turned out to be an alcoholic... I discovered this while passing by a bar, in which he was so piss drunk... He got in a fight... Three good stabbings... One the area where my hand is on my chest... That was all it took for him to die. MY FATHER IS DEAD BECAUSE OF DRINKING! I XOULDNT SPEAK TO ANUONE BECAUSE I WAS SO DAMN PISSED AT THE WORLD! I HATE THIS GAME! I ALMOST DRANK A FEW DAYS AGO AND BECAME AN ALCOHOLIC, IF IT WERENT FOR IGNITE I WOULD BE WHERE MY FATHER IS. I HATE THIS DAMN GAME! I DONT WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE! I WANT TO BE WHERE MY BROTHER IS, IN THE REAL WORLD AND FORGET THIS DAMN GAME EVER..."

Arekkusu collapsed onto the ground and covered his head, his tears and yelling being his company to cheer him up. He had never cried so much, not even when his father died... This game changed him for the worst. If Arekkusu had a choice, he would go back to bring the hateful person he was in the real world... But then again... He wouldn't have met Pyro, a person in which had relatively the same amount of pain

[Pyro 0]

Pyro frowned. Arekkusu's story was worse, far worse to experience than hers. But it wasn't competition and she felt her heart sink. What was she supposed to say? Her father wasn't dead. He didn't drink. She didn't know. "I-I..." She started but closed her mouth when she couldn't find any words. "Not everything is so bad in this game. I mean... sure we're stuck, could die, and have experienced some crazy stuff but... but as much as I don't want to say this, i-it's fixed us! Look at me Arekkusu I'm being me! We met, and we know how each other feels. You, you told me your story. J-just look at the positive side of everything e-even when it seems like there's none. I have no idea how it f-feels to have someone I love die. But I can try to comfort you. W-We all want to be in the real world. Please, just, try with me. You don't have to forget just try to live in Sword Art Online. You have Sousuke, and Kitty, and me, and Sol, and Destiny, and Crozeph, and Manta... probably more than that. It's all we have right now!"

 

She frantically ran both hands through her hair and pulled on her bangs. Would it help? She could only hope it would at least make Arekkusu think a little, to see the bright side like she did. "We can't give up what we have now... not ever. I-I'm sorry." Her voice lowered and Pyro stared at the ground.

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

Arekkusu clenched his teeth, but not to the point in which they would just break. He didn't know how he could live with himself, but he could it seemed.

"Them..." Arekkusu said mentioning his friends. "All we have left to live... Is in them. Make a living in sao... You're right... But... How can we ever forgive ourselves. We ae both screwed up in the head, this isn't normal... What if one of us goes on a bloody rampage... What do we do then? I don't want to be here anymore... And o don't know whether I mean the game or I mean I don't want to be in existence anymore."

[Pyro 0]

"We need to keep an eye on what we do, how we start acting. I usually get a tick in my neck before I... you know. Go crazy. I'll watch your back too. And I'm not sure if I want to live anymore either, but as long as you're alive then I want to be alive too." She looked up at Arekkusu. "It's not our faults if you think about, so why should we forgive ourselves for something we never did wrong?"

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

"I wish there was some sort of sign that warns me when I am about to go overboard." Arekkusu said, somewhat being able to hide his truth again, sounding like the Arekkusu that Pyro knew in the battle against the MPE. "I don't know... My blood turns cold once I do go insane... But wait... My eyes! I feel them kind of hollow out when I am lost! My eyes... But its not like looking at anyone's eyes looks normal... So paying attention to them would look odd... But what do we do about..."

Arekkusu felt a presence of someone near them that wasn't wanted... He seemed to be holding Arekkusus blade... That wasn't too good. "Give me your blade." Arekkusu said coldly, someone wanted them both dead.

[Pyro 0]

Pyro tapped her chin in though, wandering how she would be able to tell when Arekkusu was going to stop and how both were going to stop each other once in that state of mind in the first place. She planned to ask him that question when he was done speaking but Arekkusu seemed to stop talking early in his sentence. Pyro tilted her head in confusion, looking around for what could be wrong. His tone of voice scared her and she felt uncomfortable and worried. "What are you talking about Arekkusu?"

[Arekkusu Sepera 0]

The presence of the man was close, Arekkusu then found out where the man was coming from... An enemy NPC... That was a first. Arekkusu had to do it, the man was ready to strike at Pyro from behind. Arekkusu quickly leapt forward, his eyes hollowed and his body had flames. He brought out Ignite from his inventory and his body flamed. He reached towards Pyros sword holder and gripped the Broken Wing blade, then pushed Pyro to the side to have her avoid the attack, but the man sliced at Arekkusus head... Causing him to hit the ground head first, then he looked to the side at pyro.

"Run!" Arekkusu exclaimed as he rolled up onto his feet. He then raised the blade at the man, he didn't know the intentions, but that man really mad Arekkusu mad. Ignite had flames on her as well being a Phoenix, so it came to her naturally. "Pyro don't get involved, this will only take a second." Arekkusu said quietly, his voice hollow, he returned his Illusionist coat back and his scarf as well.

ID:5722 Bd:2. MD: 9

Arekkusu: 48/50

Nps Attacker: 21/21

[Pyro 0]

Pyro gasped as Arekkusu pushed her to the side. She turned to see another person... an NPC had already attacked and cut Arekkusu. He grabbed her sword and told her to run. But she wasn't going to just yet, no. That would be a weak thing to do. Though Pyro did go aways back; just enough so that she could still see the fight but be able to intervene quickly just in case something went wrong.

 

Pyro HP: 22/22 

 

Arekkusu HP: 48/50

 

NPC Attacker HP: 21/21