[PP - F4] New Beginnings [Complete]

[Lessa 1]

Snowfrost ❄ Closed to Baldur

Much had changed for Alyssa Butler. 

She had met various people, each leaving with a part of her. For a time, she had considered herself incomplete as a result, and had acted as such. Bouts of depression had plunged her into darkness that put the tenth floor to shame. Food had lost its flavor. Alcohol, originally her cherished vice, had followed after. She had lost her desire to help newcomers, once her sole mission, but later considered a pointless chore. She had lost her need for comfort from friends, all of whom she had pushed away with only vague, noncommittal words. Finally, she had lost her will to live. It would be easy, she had rationalized, dying in a place like this. There would be no pain, and no suffering. Besides, she would never see the tower's top floor. Was it not a bit like she was already dead?

The woman had once drawn all support from others. She had placed her trust, her energy, and her heart, in their hands. And some had gone, taking those three things with them. In some cases, the departure had been by choice. In others, it had not, and she was unsure which had been the most detrimental. She had found her purpose, her life, in the people she met. When she cut ties, and retreated deep into the seventh floor's mountains, it was with the understanding that she would either return changed, or not at all. Like a child's first ride on a two-wheeled bike, she would have to fight to find her balance.

It was difficult, there is no doubt about that. Had she been an addict without a fix, she still might not have reacted as violently. Nightmares plagued the few hours of sleep she scraped together. Cold constantly proved her haphazard shelters to be ineffective. Loss presented the sharp cliffs and steep drops as welcome relief, and a very real solution to her problems. But then, hope fought back the fear. It was faint, but in time, it grew. So did her confidence, supplemented by hard work, determination, and self-sufficiency. When she emerged, she was stronger, and not because of anyone else. Lessa had lost her training wheels.

That had been three days prior. Of course, she was not entirely cured. Occasionally, doubt slipped back into her mind. Fear still turned her stomach, as it did in that moment. The blonde was seated in a tavern on the fourth floor, positioned near a window so that she could watch the snowfall. The lunch crowd had thinned out, leaving only a handful of stragglers who would talk, eat and drink late into the afternoon. The conversations were muted, allowing the noises of the crackling fire to reach her. It was a pleasant sound, and she focused her attention on it. Her soft smile beat back the creeping dread. It is just Baldur, she reminded herself gently. He will understand. That was why he had been the first she contacted upon her return. Please meet me, she had asked him. I'm back.

Edited November 16, 2016 by Lessa

[Baldur 0]

Quote

>> Lessa: Please meet me
>> Lessa: I'm back.

Baldur's breath caught when he got the message, his finger hovering over where he had just tapped to open it. He had stared at the envelope symbol for several seconds when he saw who it had been from. Baldur ventured to the Monument of Life almost every day on his way to open up his shop to look for her name. He knew exactly where the names of Calrex, Oikawa, Tyger, and Lessa stood. It was a part of his morning ritual now, more days than not.

He still remembered that day on the mountain-tops of the seventh floor. She had pulled him out of his despair, but he had been unable to do do the same for her. He had wanted her to come with him and return to the way they had been, but she had been hurt too much, pulled in too many directions, and lost too many pieces of her heart. So she had told them that she was disappearing into the very same mountains he himself had just returned from. Mountains that Opal disappeared into to find herself. Perhaps there was something truly meditative about those mountain slopes that so many had been able to find their peace there. He remembered a similar mountain range in the real world where he had found his entire life changed as well.

But now the message lay here before him, and he hesitated. So much had happened since she had been gone. He was always a pup to her, trying to catch up with the others so he could pretend to be a wolf as well. He was still the runt of the litter, but he was no longer a pup. Unless she had trained more than he had, he might even be her senior in levels, which would be a bizarre reversal for the wanna-be samurai. He blinked as he looked up from where the words hung magically in the air in front of him, and looked out over the Nemian plains from his vantage point on Mount Olympus. He had picked out a crag low on the mountain, but just high enough for an excellent view of the whole floor.

The wind blew over him, and to the side of the menu, he called up his friend list and saw that she was on the fourth floor, because of course she would choose that floor.

The gaijin samurai took a deep breath and closed all of the windows with a gesture, and pushed himself from the rock and jumped to the harsh surface of the mountain below. He quickly made his way down the slope and ran the entire distance across the Nemian plain and back to the settlement before teleporting down to the fourth floor.

"Teleport, Snowfrost." He said the words, only slightly winded. There was no such thing here, but it was as much mental as it was physiological.

And then he appeared with a flash of light into the snow covered city.

He loved this city, much to the annoyance of a few of his friends.

And he stood there, his dark chestnut hair began to gather snow flakes, and his blue and white haori began to turn more blue. He could see her blond head inside of the tavern. He paused a moment to try and collect himself. What did this mean? He felt as if when he opened that door, everything would change for him in the rhythm he had developed... but that was good. He didn't want to stagnate. Lessa had been his compass before, and the same for many others, but she had gone through her own crucible. Who would this Lessa be, and how would she compare to the one he remembered?

No. The word resonated in his head. She is your friend. You must accept her as she is, without judgement and without pre-conception. She has earned that respect.

With a nod to himself, the brunette samurai pushed open the door to the tavern and walked over to her table, shaking off some of the snow along the way and he flashed her his biggest, warmest, most heart-felt smile.

"Lessa. It is good to see you again."

 

[Lessa 1]

He was as she had remembered. His mop of brown hair was tussled by the wind, and it shimmered with the last of quickly melting snowflakes. Similar diamonds of ice tumbled from his coat as he gave it a shake. His blue eyes, a shade not entirely unlike her own, were wide as he neared her. Like the snowflakes that lay dying in his hair and on his jacket, they sparkled. Once, when she was a child, her grandfather had mentioned how special that glisten was. "You can a person's kindness by a twinkle in their eye," he had told her in his jolly, story-telling voice, his own eyes shimmering mischievously. Her grandfather, she was certain, would have liked Baldur very much.

But there were differences, she noted just as quickly. He moved in a way unfamiliar to her. The strides that carried his tall frame closer were long, and sure of themselves. There was confidence there, evident in his rugged self-assuredness, and the way he composed himself. The Baldur she had left behind had too often walked hunched, as if carrying some great weight upon his shoulders. The man before her was different, although she very much doubted he was without weight or worry. Crowfeet adorned the corner of each eye, deepening as he cast her a magnificent smile. They mirrored her own tired lines. He has seen things, she thought, all in a moment. Things she had only warned him of before. And he had lived to meet her, in this tavern, on this blustery afternoon. He's grown.

The smile she returned, though perhaps not as large, was as warm as the flames that lit the pair of them. "It's good to see you too," she replied. In one smooth movement, she pushed the wooden chair back from the table, and moved to her feet. She stood out of habit, and also respect for her friend, who she had not seen for nearly six months. They had corresponded a bit, odd messages here and there, but she still felt like a bit of a stranger. What words could she offer him that would not sound unusual coming from a near-stranger? He was not the same man she had left. Of course, she was not the same woman.

"Thanks for coming," she continued, hands plunging deep into the large pocket of the hooded sweatshirt she had donned before their meeting. It, and her blue jeans, made for fairly casual attire. Lessa had made an effort to appear this way, so to make the gathering more relaxed than it may have been otherwise. "I know the message probably took you by surprise."

 

[Baldur 0]

When the blood stood and smiled at him, he felt all of that pressure and anxiety melt away. Whatever she had found in the wildness in the past 6 months, she had come out of it with that same warm smile. He had been worried, based on how they had parted, that he might not see her again, or that she had gone down a dark path and might have come out bitter or charged. He needed to get to know this new friend, but whatever had changed, seeing that smile and the the way the light of the fire danced from his eyes, he knew that same warm soul was there.

"Of course I would come." He said with a smile as she rose to greet him. He wanted to step forward and hug her like old friends are want to do, but he wasn't sure how they stood just yet. He didn't know what new she had come to share with him either. Hopefully it was that she was coming back from her soul searching mission, or perhaps it was to say that she had given up on the frontline all together. Judging by her dress, it could have gone either way.

He stood there for a moment, sending mixed signals as he couldn't commit on hugging or not hugging her when suddenly he felt fur brush past his hand and a weight shift against his leg as a white wolf came into the tavern and went straight to Lessa. The wolf, a native of this floor, went right up to her and appeared to try and shoulder tackle her knee as he leaned against her and then sat down, his cold wet nose nuzzling her hand.

"Oh... uh... Lessa, this is my familiar, Gram."

The white wolf wagged its tail at the blond for a moment, letting her admire and pet him.

With the tension broken, Baldur took a step forward and embraced Lessa, scooping her up in a giant, broad armed bearhug that lift her from his feet with a slight bit of laughter escaping from him.

"It really is good to see you."

Baldur pulled out the other chair at the small table they were going to share and he gestured for her to sit, waiting for her to take her chair before he did his own. Sitting in the chair, Baldur learned over the table, his elbows resting on the hard wood so that he could rest his chin on his hands.

"So much has happened since you've been gone... but first, I want to hear all about you, and what you've been up to."

 

[Lessa 1]

"Oh," the blonde breathed, giving a startled shake as she was nearly bowled over. As she had remained fixated on Baldur, she had entirely missed the entrance of the snow-white wolf. Now, however, as she gazed down at his wide eyes and lolling tongue, she could hardly help herself. "Hello." When she spoke again, surprise was replaced by sheer delight, smile widening as she stooped beside the familiar. Taking the wolf's head gently in her hands, her thumbs stroke delicately as she murmured, "it is very nice to meet you." That was yet another characteristic that had remained unchanged - her affinity for animals. She had hardly straightened up again before she was startled once more. This time, it was by Baldur's arms around her waist, lifting her into the air. Instinctively, her arms laced around his neck, her hold too tight due to the sudden nature of the motion. His words, only inches from her ear, lifted goosebumps along her arms. It also lifted the weight that had lingered since she first saw him.

When he placed her back on her feet, the smile she wore rivaled the one she had adopted after seeing the wolf for the first time. "It's really good to see you too," she echoed on a laugh, straightening her blouse a bit before taking the seat he offered. Then, she gently patted her lap, motioning Gram over for further snuggles.

"There isn't too much for me to say," she answered plainly, throwing him a sideways glance before returning her gaze to his familiar. "I just wandered a bit. Did some soul searching. I'm not cliche enough to say I 'found myself,' but I'm in a better place than I was before. And that's something." Her eyes lit up, as she quickly added, "I actually found a wolf of my own, while I was out there. I released my first familiar about a year ago," after Alkor died, "and I figured I was ready for a new one. I accepted the quest, and actually went out looking for another stoat. That's what my first familiar, Orion, had been. While I was looking, I came across this wolf. He was huge, and I was getting ready to fight him, but I thought better of it. Maybe he was the change I needed. So I spent a couple of weeks gaining his trust, and now he's my companion. His name is Riker. I made him wait outside though, because I wasn't sure how you'd be when you got here."

The blue-eyed woman caught herself rambling, and gave a slight shake of her head. "Anyway," she concluded, "enough about me. What about you?"

Edited October 5, 2016 by Lessa

[Baldur 0]

Baldur's smile never faltered as he watched Gram walk over to Lessa and place his head in her lap, making a contented huffing sound. Baldur rarely spoiled the creature so well, as he did not entirely think of Gram as a living thing, but the wolf was showing a great sense of personality, which was a dizzying concept to think about. Returning his blue eyes to Lessa's, he listened to her story of self-discovery in the mountains just as she had listened to his. He still remembered their last sunset together on those same mountain tops before she had decided she needed to go off herself. It seemed that the journey had helped them both out. All the while, their shadowy silhouette danced on the far wall as the fire flickered and burned unending.

"I completely understand... If you recall, it did the same for me as well..." Baldur let his words trail off as he leaned back in his chair, the wood creaking beneath his large form.

When she asked how things had been with him, his mind began to wander. What had he been up to for the last several months? So much had changed, but so much of it was still the same. When he had last seen her, he had been lower level than her, but within reach. Now he was above her in levels by about the same amount. He had fought in the Frontlines twice now, against Rohk and Leonidas, and would soon be fighting against the creepy nightmare fuel wolf. He was working on catching up to Oikawa and Teayre, trying to reach the echelon of tier 3 before they unlocked the 20th floor so that he could remain a competitive, key, contributing member of the Frontline and help push our way to freedom. 

"Mostly, I've been working hard on leveling up. After I was at the boss fight against Rohk, and Azide died, I knew I didn't want to be or put anyone in that position."  He broke eye contact with her at the mention of Azide. The loss of that man was a terrible blow of all of Aincrad. He had been exceptional in every way, and Baldur regretted his decision to join the Azure Brigade over Square One when they had had the chance.

"I'm level 41 now... and I'm helping plan the next floor battle." He didn't want to worry Lessa, but she was the only person now who knew his real name. He had wanted someone who could get out of this tower and tell his family that he had lived and fought well. That he had comported himself with honor and compassion.

"We formed a guild, the Spectrum Coalition. Calrex, Oikawa, Takao, Teayre and myself." He had hoped the news would reassure her of his safety, "We're here to help, and to be leaders. Hopefully between us and the Knights, we should be able stabilize the Frontlines and move forward quickly, but at a safe, measured pace. No more half-thought out plans that get people killed." It was a bit of a pipe dream, but after Calrex had stepped up in the last boss fight, he thought it was possible.

"The world still has some hiccups and death and drama, but I'm hopeful that some real leadership is emerging. Not people to just take charge, but leadership."

[Lessa 1]

He spoke, and she let him, opting to remain silent throughout. There were things he said that she wished to learn more about, and questions that he sparked with his words. But Baldur had offered her silence, and an opportunity to speak her mind without interruption. She would do the same for him,

Even so, his mention of the front lines set free the creeping concern that nested in her mind. She had not returned to the chaos of battle since facing the Hydra. She held no ill-will against those who resided there - in fact, she had great respect for the men and women who continued the fight. She, however, would not be among them. Only once had she stood before a true demon, plunged in the dungeon's darkness, the fate of Aincrad's players on her shoulders. Once had been more than enough.

Her jaw worked as the brunette jumped to assure her of his safety, clearly aware of her disapproval; the notion that any of her friends still continued to risk their lives put her on edge. But when the man had brought his speech to a close, and his large, hopeful eyes gazed across the table at her, she plastered on a small smile. "You're brave," she replied truthfully. "And I trust you to take care of yourself."

But that was all she had to say. Once, she might have begged him to stay away, stay safe. But he had made his decisions, as she had. He had blazed his own trail, and she chose to fill her heart with respect, rather than fear. Well, to the best of her ability.

"I'm thirsty," she announced suddenly, pushing back from the table, and momentarily startling the wolf. "I'm going to run up to the bar. Do you want something?"

Edited October 6, 2016 by Lessa

[Baldur 0]

Baldur smiled when he saw she seemed to be more okay with him being on the frontlines. Her compliment about his bravery didn't land on him though, as he wasn't afraid of the frontlines unless he was stepping into the boss room. He felt secure in his team, and his ability to assess and prepare for the risk. He came into every boss fight as prepared and ready as you could possibly be. It took a lot of effort, but he felt that they should all do so as well. Perhaps, once they got more established, such a thing could come to pass.

Suddenly, Lessa stood up and said she needed a drink, jarring Baldur from his reverie. He was doing that more and more often; losing himself in thought and introspection.

It must be my training with Cal.

Looking up at the tall blond as she proclaimed her thirst, Baldur took a second to gather his wits before opening his mouth.

"Oh... umm... I'd love a hot chocolate." He gave her a warm smile and then his eyes followed her away. Once she got to the NPC running the bar, Baldur looked over at Gram and shrugged. The white wolf, in response, padded over to the massive stone fireplace at the end of the common room and laid down. There were says when Baldur really felt that the creature seemed more alive than code.

Waiting for Lessa to return, Baldur's mind ran ahead. What would be the next subject of conversation? She seemed to have questions, which had been why he was surprised when she shot off. Had he said something upsetting to her? No, that wasn't how she would have responded if he had said something to her. The thought that she might merely be thirsty had not crossed his mind.

Who else would she be interested in catching up with? He wracked his mind back to the old days, and past members of the Guardians of Aincrad. Part of him still felt a bit guilty about not taking the guild over for her when she had wanted to step down, but that would have only prolonged the guild for a short time, and then he would have been responsible for shutting down the guild, and probably more guilt. He had made the right choice, but still felt sad that the guild had shuddered it's doors, but so powerful was the legacy which Lessa had built that people to this day still remember and talk about it.

[Lessa 1]

"Hot chocolate." She gave a small nod, indicating she had his order. "Sure. I'll be right back." Leaving him with that promise, and a smile, the blonde turned from the table and picked her way toward the bar. Even fewer patrons remained now, and they congregated near the large fireplace. Still, there was a maze of wide tables and mismatched chairs for Lessa to navigate around. With her mind wandering elsewhere, and her gaze dulled by those memories, she still managed to bump into a protruding table corner. She was rubbing at her hip, which throbbed dully, when she finally came to rest beside the bar.

The owner of the bar, a player named Trapis, stood waiting for her. Before him, a blue mug of hot chocolate waited, still steaming cozily. "It's quiet in here," the older man explained before she had the chance to ask. "I heard his order. What is it that you want, Lessa?" As the inn had been her home for as long as she could remember, she had grown close with the staff. Even after her extended hiatus, they remained on a first-name basis.

The hot chocolate was appealing, and she knew from experience that it was excellent. But warm and cozy did not meet her current mood, and she determined she was better off with something to clear her mind and take care of the sudden dryness in her throat. "Just a water, please."

"Easy enough," Trapis answered with a shrug. When he had fetched it for her, and the necessary transactions had been made, she returned to the table with drink in hand. By the time that she had reached Baldur, she had found the words to describe the conflicting emotions within her.

She placed the hot chocolate on the table, before taking her seat, and a long drink of the water. Then, she began by stating the obvious. "It seems I've missed a lot. You've changed. You've grown stronger. I imagine that most people have, while I was away. And I didn't." Quickly, she added, "I don't regret the trip I took. I needed it, badly. God, I was in a dark place. The time away helped me. But I also feel a bit like I'm not prepared to help you anymore. I may not be on the front lines, but I need to be able to protect people. I need to be able to protect you, if you ever found that you needed it. And, at the very least, not hold you back." Satisfied that her words had done her thought some justice, she took another pull from her glass. Then, "I'm going to work on that."

There was a half-moment of silence, as if Baldur expected her to explain herself further. Or, perhaps, he was merely giving her the space she needed, as he had earlier. So she continued. "I need to do my part to help beat this game. Before, I had thought that meant training everyone I could find, and keeping them from making the same mistakes I had seen a million times. But I don't think that is where I need to be anymore. I actually haven't really decided where it is I'm supposed to be. But I know I need to look out for myself, and in turn, the people who are closest to me. Selfless acts have their time and place, even in a death game like this, but I can't spend all of my time helping others at the expense of my own well-being. The half-relationships I was forming with people who I would go on to never see again were killing me. Honestly, I haven't fought for myself, or done something for myself, in a long time. I haven't been myself for just as long." She was rambling, but this time, she did not stop herself, did not apologize. She was tired of apologizing. "I want to be stronger, for you, but more importantly, for myself."

[Baldur 0]

Baldur took the mug of hot chocolate from Lessa with a barely audible "Thank you," as he then blow on the steaming liquid within. He listened to her narrative of what had happened, about how she was in a dark place and needed the retreat, and Baldur had entirely agreed. When the conversation lulled, he wasn't sure if he should interject there or not, but the thought that she felt behind and needed to catch up was ironically amusing to Baldur, as he felt that he was in such a position even now, after all the training he had done. So he took a sip of his drink and let her continue as he enjoyed the swirl of milk and chocolate, and was reminded of home.

Blue eyes watched Lessa as she then began to release what was really pent up inside of her, and her feelings were liberated in a stream that she seemed embarassed of, but believed in all at the same time. She was unapologetically honest, and it refreshed Baldur far more than the beverage to hear those words. He gave her a soft, small smile as she realized that same lesson which had taken him so much time and pain to learn as well. Being selfish was okay, and sometimes too much selflessness was bad. As with most things in life, there was a give and take.

"I'm sorry if it seems I'm making light of your words." Baldur said from his reclined, relaxed position in the chair, "I'm not doing that at all... rather I'm amused because it's a reflection of my own place." He shook his head with an amused grin, and placed the mug on the table.

"When I came back and found you, I felt exactly the same way. I was so far behind, I wanted to catch up and help you out. Then when you went on your own journey, I wanted to help and catch up with Azide, and Oikawa, and Calrex. Retake my place on the frontlines... I've been working hard ever since to try and catch up, and hone myself."

He leaned forward and placed a hand over hers when she wasn't holding her drink.

"You are absolutely right, about all of it. It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, but I want you to look out for yourself. Don't let catching up to me or the Frontline be a new burden you shoulder yourself with. As my friends have reminded me, there's more ways to help than with a sword. Do this for you, and I will be happy. I certainly want you to be by my side again, but we each have our own path to walk, and whatever you choose, I will help however I can as well."

[Lessa 1]

Relief washed over her like a wave, and left her feeling as refreshed as if it had been. "It is nice to hear you say that," she told him, leaning back a bit for a more comfortable position. She had said what was on her mind, even though the concept had frightened her a bit. It was not that Lessa had been scared to share her feelings; expressing herself had always been easy, and sometimes even dangerously so. Rather, she had feared how her declaration might change Baldur's view of her. She had continuously prided herself on her warmth, her kindness, and her generosity. When other had spoken of her, it had been on her selflessness, and her desire to care for those who needed it most. Helping others had once been a part of her, but she had allowed it to consume her entire identity in her first years in Aincrad. What am I, she had asked herself, lost deep in the mountains, when you take away my kindness? Can that be all I am?

"I want to be strong again," she heard herself say. These words had not been a part of the plan, but some time spent in her own head, reflecting on her desires, had somehow brought the issue to light. "I want to be happy. I want to be whole. I can't remember the last time I was whole. And that's not anyone's fault but my own. I don't think I've been myself since I joined the game, because I immediately committed myself to helping everyone else. I spent my time training them to fight, but I also made myself the expert on their emotional well-being. I encouraged people to open up, because I thought I could 'cure them.' I thought I could be their 'Guardian.' I-" she winced, sudden realization dawning on her. "I even made a guild for that same purpose."

Lessa blew out a pent up breath, one hand moving to pinch at the bridge of her nose, as if it would clear up the fog that hung in her mind. "But I don't even know what to do, or who I am, when I'm not taking care of someone else."

[Baldur 0]

Baldur smiled when he saw how she felt once she got her feelings off of her chest. He picked up the hot chocolate and sipped on it as he listened to her explain her dilemma. It was one he was familiar with in the real world, and one that he wasn't surprised to find here in her. It was a common coping method that even Baldur was guilty of. It was easier to help someone else, to focus on their demons, than to face your own. Better to be working on another rather than looking within. He didn't think Lessa had lacked the introspection has he had, but he could see elements of it. She didn't want to focus on the situation they were in, so instead she worked on what she could.

"I was worried about that with my sister-in-law... and with my parents. When I moved out of the house to go to college, and they shortly thereafter retired, I didn't think they had lives or knew who they were without a kid in the house, or without work. My sister was the same way... her whole identity shifted into mom mode, and she lost who she had been before."

Pausing in his narration, Baldur took a long sip and then made a sound of satisfaction at the beverage before setting it down.

"The fun part is discovering what that next step is. It'll be entirely up to you, the only advice I can give is this: don't rebel against who you were. You probably won't end in the same place, but I wouldn't expect you to land far off either. I don't expect you'll end up like Mari, I don't think that's who you are. I have faith in you though, we'll all change, I've changed, but I've seen your heart, Lessa, so I'm not concerned."

He picked up the hot chocolate and finished it off before setting the now empty glass back down.

"You looked like you had some questions earlier, is there anything I can answer for you?"

[Lessa 1]

The mention of Mari passed through her like a ghost, giving her a short shiver, but then leaving her largely unaffected. She agreed that she would not make such a dramatic change, but there would certainly be some sort of a transformation. There had to be, if she hoped to escape the pit of self-loathing she had dug for herself. Her time in the mountains had put things into perspective for her, but her work was not done. Baldur's words provided some comfort, as he clearly believed in her. It was reassuring, but also frustrating in its truth. It was true that she had no idea where she was going next. And, in some ways, she found that especially frustrating.

She was still wool-gathering when the boy tossed another question across the table. As such, her response did not carry the enthusiasm it might have otherwise. "I guess I was just curious how everyone was," she answered simply, her thumb slipping back and forth absentmindedly across the slick, damp glass of her drink. "Those were some names that I haven't thought of in a while." In truth, Lessa had dedicated very little of her personal time to thinking about others. That, she had decided, had been the first step to growing more independent. There had been a time when her entire life had hinged on the well-being of others, even those she was not particularly close to. It had been a hard lesson to learn, that her fretting and losing sleep added no special protection, and that she was only hurting herself in the process. She would have to trust them to take care of themselves, as she had stated to Baldur earlier. It was difficult task, sometimes near Herculean in her eyes, but it was vital nonetheless.

 

[Baldur 0]

Baldur tried to read Lessa as she responded about her journey and needing to move on, while at the same time asking about those she had known. He wasn't sure if it was something he should go into now, how much she already knew, and what she needed to hear versus what she wanted to hear. She was strong enough to handle anything he threw at her, but perhaps they should try to pace things a bit.

"Then perhaps rather than focus on who, we should focus on what."

Baldur nervously played with the empty mug of hot-chocolate on the table before it disappeared into a gentle breeze of rainbow polygons since it had been full consumed.

"We just closed the boss meeting for floor 18, so we're about to go into that fight and try to unlock floor 19. The <<Azure Brigade>> guild has been disbanded, the <<Knights of the Blood Oath>> are struggling to stay together, and the guild I'm in, the <<Spectrum Coalition>> is trying to figure out our identity and role in this world. Right now the front is under-manned, under-equipped, under-tanked, and lacking healers. Thankfully, there is a core of Frontliners who have managed to become so powerful, that we could probably take out a Floor boss with a single party... I say 'we' but I would not be a member of that august group."

Baldur said with a wry smile. He was one of the weakest players on the front line, but he was working hard to correct that and make his mark. He was right at the cusp of being able to truely contribute as much as everyone who had helped him up. He would not be as far as he was, nor as prepared as he was, without their help. He had been cashing in the 'Hey, remember me? We're old buddies!' card far more than he should.

"I had been working with Calrex to try and tackle some of the issues of creating bonds of brotherhood in the frontline so that we all care about each other a bit more, and trying to see what I can do to help with the constant demand for supplies that the Frontliners face. It's a challenging commitment to keep up with the resource drain required to fight on the front with every floor."

Baldur tapped his chin in thought, and the last bit of exposition seemed to be as much him thinking out loud as it was explaining the current state of Aincrad to Lessa.

"That said, there are a lot of promising up-and-coming players, though they're not organized in any way that I can see, and are all struggling without the existance of guilds like Guardians of Aincrad, or Square One. The Spectrum Coalition isn't above recruiting low levels, but we've got a demanding requirement: We need to be able to trust each other with our lives."

[Lessa 1]

She listened softly, peppering his words with small nods, and occasionally sipping from her still half-filled glass of water. It was unsurprising that the power houses on the front lines had continued to push forward. She had not been foolish enough to believe that the game would stop and wait for her, and in many ways, she was grateful that it had not. You may delay, but time will not. The powerful words returned to her, and she smiled in spit of herself. He certainly was a wise man, she would be just as wise not to forget that particular lesson. 

"Making progress then," she mused aloud. "That's good. Someone has to beat this game, and save the lazy players like me." Her words were delivered with a genuine-enough smile, and the smile that she wore spoke to the good-nature of her comment. It was only her eyes that revealed the faintest hint of uncertainty, coupled with traces of guilt. People continued to risk their lives for her. Would you let your own fear keep you from doing you part, a part of her howled, but she smothered it, just as she always did. Such thoughts had a habit of getting the bleeding heart in quite a bit of trouble, and she had sworn to ease back into things. Leaping back to the front lines was not in the cards. At least, not now. Besides, she had fallen behind, despite the bits of training she had engaged in while in the mountains. She was rusty, and even Baldur, her student, had eclipsed her in level and ability. She needed practice.

The idea pushed her to her feet. "Hey," she started suddenly, flashing the man a smile that rid even her eyes of lingering doubt. "Want to go for a quick walk? Since you finished your drink?" Her own was far from empty, but she paid it no mind as she continued. "I could use some mats for the shop. And I'm sure Riker would like to meet Gram."

[Baldur 0]

Baldur's blue eyes widened slightly in surprise by Lessa suddenly pushing herself to her feet. He had been worried that she was losing interest in what he was saying, but when she revealed she wanted to go for a walk and possibly gain some materials, he couldn't help but let his lopsided grin loose upon his face. He pushed his chair back and stood up, noticing that Gram had been just as surprised as Baldur had been, and while he may have been imagining it, the beast seemed slightly perturbed he had to leave the warmth of the fire and return to the cold.

"That sounds like a great idea. Come on, Gram." Baldur said to his white wolf with a wave of his hand telling the creature to come closer to him.

The white wolf just put his head back down between his paws and closed his eyes. Baldur, a bit embarrassed by the display, let out a frustrated sigh.

"I guess this is what I get for having only one rank in the skill."

Baldur turned to face his familiar and took up a more real world posture, slightly bent at the knees and back and facing his wolf.

"Come on Gram! Who wants to go for a walk? huh? I'll give you some scooby snacks!"

The wolf opened one eye, and cocked its head slightly to one side as unbelieving that Baldur had just uttered such a phrase, but with a huff, the wolf seemed to push itself to its feet as if it were the most challenging, Herculean task imaginable. With a smirk on his face, Baldur turned and walked towards the door, holding it open both for Lessa and his wolf.

"Do you wanna head out towards the frozen lake, or out into the mountains?"

The sound of the bell rang as Baldur let the door swing closed behind him. He pulled up the collar of his haori, the white flames at the bottom hem blending into the snow all around them.

[Lessa 1]

Hands on hips, Lessa watched the man and his companion. Gram, it seemed, was content to merely watch his owner out of the corner of one eye, lids drooped lazily. As the wolf heaved a great sigh, and seemed to settle deeper into the hearth he laid upon, she could not stifle her laugh. "You should definitely invest in that second rank," she informed him. "I've put a few extra points into Riker, and for the most part, he has stopped behaving like a teenage girl." However, as the white wolf painstakingly climbed to his feet, she noticed direct parallels between his action and her own familiar's. "For the most part," she said again, smile growing into a full-fledged grin.

"Scooby snacks, eh?" She could not help but tease as she slid under his arm and into the frosty afternoon. Her fingers found the belt on her black jacket, and she cinched it tighter as she slowed to a halt beside the dark-haired player. "That's old school. I like it."

As Gram dropped to his haunches beside her, his tail the color of the snow as it happily drummed against the earth, she brought her fingers to her lips. A sharp whistle cracked the still silence, attracting the attention of a handful of players who stood further down the road. She gave them a small wave of apology, and then, turning to Baldur, explained, "I have to call Riker. He's probably off roaming. He should be here in a couple minutes. It seems like, even if he is on the other side of the floor, he can hear that whistle. It must be something with the summoning method."

At his question regarding their destination, she gave an indecisive hum. "I mean, I would be up for either. What would you prefer?"

Edited October 24, 2016 by Lessa

[Baldur 0]

When Lessa laughed at Gram's reaction to Baldur trying to coerce the white wolf to leave his lauded place by the fire, the gaijin samurai couldn't help but smile a smile which touched his tired eyes. It felt good that he could bring her to laughter still, as he firmly believed it was medicine sorely needed in this floating castle. As they all gathered outside of the small tavern, Lessa whistled for her pet to summon him, and a moment later Riker appeared. Immediately, Baldur watched as the two wolves began sniffing one another's tail. Someone went to great lengths to ensure that the wolf personality was legitimate.

"Well, it seems they may become pack-mates yet."

She would not give them a direction however, and left it up to Baldur. He stroked his chin for a moment and thought of which area he seemed to like better. The mountains were tall and beautiful but cold even to him. The late was a more challenging location, but just as cold as well. He often went to the mountains, but while he frequented the lake, he didn't frequently hunt there.

"Why don't we head out to the lake? It's been a while."

Taking the lead, Baldur began to head towards the town gates. Gram, taking a moment to sniff Riker's bum, then ran ahead out through the gate once he realized they were going on an adventure. Once they got out of the narrow roads and out into the countryside of the frozen floor, Baldur set his pace to match Lessa's. 

"It is good to have you back." Baldur said, smiling with his slightly rosy cheeked face. "I can't put my finger on exactly why, but I feel better just knowing you're around again."

His left hand rested casually on the katana at his side, not a mark of alertness or concern, just the casual manner in which Baldur walks, often treating the sheath of the blade almost like a rudder.

"I... want to thank you again. When I came back, I was lost, and you helped me get my feet under me again... I'm just sorry I wasn't able to do the same for you... but I am glad to see that you were able to get there yourself." He glanced sideways at Lessa, almost as if he was too shy to say the words. She was important to him. She may be the only person to survive this game who knew his real name. He hoped, that should he perish and she survive, that someone would be able to tell his family that he conducted himself with honor.

[Lessa 1]

"I think having another friend will be good for him," the woman admitted, reaching down to scratch Riker on the rear. His tail drummed with pleasure, but his attention remained transfixed on the other wolf. "I love him, and I'm pretty sure he loves me too. But we drive each other mad some days." It never even dawned on the blonde that she was referring to a mere piece of code, nothing more than a collection of pixels. Rather, Riker had become as important a part of her life as her animals in the real world. Considering the dire situation she found herself in, perhaps more-so. In truth, most things that surrounded her were simply data, but over time, she had stopped thinking of them as such. The threat was real, so why not allow everything else to be as well? Besides, it was all she knew anymore.

"The lake sounds great," she confirmed, offering a nod and a broad smile. "I can't remember the last time I was out there, which is saying something, considering how much time I spend on this dang floor." Determining that there was really no need to don her armor, given the relatively low level of mobs that spawned on their walk to the lake, Lessa opted not to change. She did, however, call up her trademark knee-length black jacket. She cinched it tighter around her waist as she fell into step beside her good friend.

His words, and his presence, kept the heat in her smile, and in her cheeks. "Thank you, Baldur," she replied softly, her wide grin softening to an expression of gentle embarrassment and genuine pleasure. When he spoke of apologies, her eyes first widened in surprise, then narrowed in concern. "Hey," she began, her voice low, "don't say you're sorry. You have no reason to be. We've both had our moments of weakness," she paused, then, "everyone has. This place brings out the worst in us." She swung her gaze from him to the path they followed. The lightest dusting of snow danced ahead of them, and for a brief moment, she simply focused on the cool feel of the flakes against her bare skin. "But you know," she continued, "I think it sometimes brings out the best in us to. I am so much stronger now than I could have been without the game. I'm more independent. I have done things I never dreamed were possible. I mean, I can wield a demonic sword, for pete's sake. I've built my way up to that. I'm more capable now. I'm more sure of myself. I'm... more."

She cast him a shy, sideways glance. "The game also helped me meet you. And that's something too."

Edited November 1, 2016 by Lessa

[Baldur 0]

Spoiler

Baldur contemplated her words. What she said was true, this death game could bring out the best and worst of them. For him, this game seemed more like home and who he was than out in the civilized world. He had always felt he had been a man born out of time, but the world was a different place than people remembered it. It was fun to romanticize the past, but it was easy to forget what it was really like. The world of SAO was having a chance to live out that fantasy. When a sword and some skill could take you anywhere you wanted in the world. Was it sad that he felt he belonged here more than he did in the world of flesh and blood?

"Thanks. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met you on that sunny day on the first floor." He smiled wistfully at the memory of her leveling her giant two-handed sword at his face the first time they had met. He had barely been out of the city and leveled up a few times. He maybe had an uncommon weapon as his most powerful item. The memory of her walking them through their first quest brought a smile to his face.

"And now here we are, and you're one of my closest friends."

As they walked on, they came to a break in the frozen mountains where a the bottom of a valley stretched out a frozen lake, and out into the blue of the great beyond the floating tower traveled through. The lake itself was frozen from one end to the other, and out this far into the floor the monsters that roamed the hills could give higher level players a run for their money, but within site were some of the markers that designated a safe zone that would prevent the NPC monsters from coming closer.

"I'm glad that I met you, whatever this place has and will do to us, I will always treasure your friendship. That's why I trusted you with my name... you're the only person in here I've told it to."

Reaching down, Baldur picked up a rock and then chucked it out onto the lake. It made a strange, hollow sounding thud before skittering along across the ice.

"I mean, not even Gram knows." Baldur said with a smile as his wolf proceeded to explore the area around them. On the fourth floor, Gram could take care of himself, but he really needed to invest more skill points into his Familiar Mastery skill.