[SP-06] <<Calming the Soul>>

[Cordelia 0]

Her face turned a pale white as she felt a presence among her, among the dense mist.

He was here.

Cordelia's vision began to blur as she felt around for the hilt of her katana. She couldn't do this. . . please, God, don't make her do this. . .

Cold.

She felt cold.

When did it turn so cold? 

She could see her breath now.

When did it turn so cold?

Goosebumps were forming on her skin.

When did it turn so cold? 

Cordelia's exhausted eyes searched. And searched. And searched. Where was he? She was certain that he was supposed to be her inner demon, but why wasn't she facing him already?

"S-show yourself!" She screamed, unsheathing her katana as she walked around. "I'm not playing any games now! Show yourself!" Cordelia shouted, her breaths coming out in hot clouds of air.

Lonely.

The door said lonely. She was supposed to lonely. She was alone.

[Cordelia 0]

She walked.

And walked.

And walked.

Circles that looped around, and around, and around, and around. Infinity. 

Hours passed by. She knew this time. She had been counting the seconds. The minutes. The actual hours.

She felt like she was going crazy. Absolutely crazy. How long was she going to have to endure this torture? Was she going to have to walk for eternity? For the rest of her days in Aincrad?

She was cold. So cold. Her limbs were stiff from the exhaustion and the temperature. Her body felt like it was shutting down already. 

Her blank eyes stared at the never ending domain with an unreadable expression. No matter how far she walked. . . it had always been the same. The same. Old. Fog.

Was this supposed to represent how dull and constant her life had always felt? How it had never changed at all?

How she was doomed since the very beginning?

[Cordelia 0]

She couldn't take it anymore.

She couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't take it anymore."

Cordelia fell on to her knees, dropping her katana beside her. She was losing her breath.

Too cold. Too cold. It was too damn cold! 

She lifted her hands in front of her and sighed, releasing another cloud of hot breath into the air. She couldn't feel them. Cordelia dropped her hands limply to her sides and sighed in defeat.

Maybe she was going to stay here forever.

Alone.

Cold.

Complete nothingness.

Was this her fate? Was she doomed to be alone forever? Without another soul to talk to? Without another face to look at? Without another presence to feel warm with?

She wasn't even sure she could cry anymore. Maybe because it was too cold. Maybe it was because she had shed too many tears already.

Maybe it was because she had finally given up.

[Cordelia 0]

Cordelia hugged her knees close to her.

Weak.

Weak.

She was weak.

So incredibly weak.

Why. . ? Why couldn't she be strong? Strong like all of the other players? A good number of the players had succeeded and had made it to the front lines. . . why couldn't she do that?

Why?

She just wanted to get stronger. . . was that so hard to ask? 

Maybe it was.

"Hah. . ." she muttered, feeling her body sway from the numbness. "Damn you. . . Kayaba," she whispered, her hands unhooking each other as they felt limp to her sides.

Cordelia eventually felt to her side. She couldn't even feel anything anymore. Physically and mentally.

She smiled weakly to herself. She was okay with this. This was her fault. She was okay with this. She had chosen to play the game, after all. She was okay with this. She had chosen to leave the town in search of adventure. She was okay with this. 

She wasn't okay with this.

[Cordelia 0]

"You'll have to forgive me but the real reason I called you here was to give you that. Sorry for not being upfront about it. . ."

Cordelia's eyes widened as she felt her nails scratch against the steely, cold, ground.

"No. . ." She whispered under her breath as tears visibly brimmed on the corners of her eyes. "No. . ! No, no, no, no!" She screamed, her hands balling into a fist as she pounded them repeatedly against the freezing ground. 

She had to get out of here.

She had to.

"It says: 'Beautiful and unique like a snowflake. . ."

"Please. . ."

"-strong like diamond. With love, Oscar.'"

Cordelia felt like there was a large, icy rock lodged in her throat. It was burning. It hurt to even breath at this point. 

She couldn't take it anymore. Of all people to show her inner demon, why did it have to be Oscar?

Why were they making her live through this, again?

[Cordelia 0]

The pounding her in her was getting worse. Oh-so-worse.

"Stop it!" She wailed, clutching her head with her icy fingers as her knees wobbled.

"My heart desired something to show you what I feel."

Why?

Why was she feeling like this? 

She felt awful. Was she sick? Was she unwell? Why did it hurt so much?

Cordelia's knees gave up on her as they fell to the ground, bringing the rest of her body with it. It stung. Everything stung. Her legs, her hands, her fingers, her head, her heart. 

Why did it hurt so much?

Echoes of her memories continued to bounce around her, and the only thing she could do was just. . .

watch.

"I know it's sudden, but I think I've fallen for you during our adventures together."

 "I couldn't keep going without at least telling you how I feel. But I couldn't quite work up the courage to form the words. So, I went and got you this. . ." 

She inhaled sharply. Somehow. . . she couldn't find herself crying again. 

"Would you give me a chance?"

"I can't. . ."

[Cordelia 0]

"I can't. . ."

"I can't. . ."

"I can't. . ."

Cordelia looked at the palms in front of her. 

"These are the hands of someone who has broken a heart," she whispered, her gaze dulling as she dropped them beside her once again. 

"Pitiful."

It went quiet.

So quiet.

Without saying a word, Cordelia lifted herself off of her feet and blinked.

"What's wrong with me," she uttered, her hands gripping the hems of her haori harshly. She felt like this was something she had never experienced before. . . well it was, duh. . . but this was different. It wasn't where she was or what she was seeing that was new.

It was an emotion.

Why did she feel so tingly whenever she thought more and more about him? Her lips shook as she lifted her head to the cloudy, pitch black sky. 

"Yeah, Cordelia. We're still friends."

Somehow, hearing those words made her more sad.

Why?

Did she want to be more than friends with Oscar?

[Cordelia 0]

She wracked through her brain for the answers to her seemingly unanswerable question.

She felt happy with him. More happy than she had really ever been. Was does that mean? Did she really just enjoy hanging out with him? Or was it something. . . more?

Was she falling for Oscar like how he had been falling for her?

It startled off as a simple giggle. Then a louder laugh, and then a cynical cackle.

"I'm. . . so [no-no word]," she giggled almost bitterly. "I ruined everything. Everything." She laughed again. And again. And again.

Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face again.

She just kept on surprising herself, huh?

How disgusting.

She was disgusting. She was pitiful. It was almost disgraceful.

Somehow, the burning feeling in her chest propelled her forward. It seemed odd, no? How a simple thought of. . . love, can drive a person so far.

"Thank you. . ." 

[Cordelia 0]

She realized it now.

Her second inner demon.

It was dealing with the loneliness. . . and how the first chance she had at not being lonely. . . she threw it all away.

Or maybe she wasn't lonely. Maybe she was just lost. 

It didn't matter now.

She smiled. The salty tears rolled over her cheeks and yet she still smiled. Lonely or not, she knew what she had to do when she got out of here. 

As if blessed by a newfound strength, Cordelia's body sprang to life like a windup mechanical toy. 

She had the energy to keep fighting now.

Not only for her but for Oscar.

Because when she got out of here. . . she was going to tell him.

She was going to tell him how she really felt. How she felt about this. How she felt about him.

She only wished that it wasn't too late.

God, she hoped that it wasn't.

[Cordelia 0]

Heavy footsteps echoed through the. . . room?

Cordelia looked up, her eyes widening.

There stood a tall figure, shrouded in the mist but she could still make out who's face it. It nearly sent her to tears right then and there.

"O-Oscar," she whispered, reaching out her hand to him before she pulled it back. 

It's not him.

The duplicate didn't speak. It made her nerves more and edge more than ever.

No matter how hard she tried, she still can't stop herself from talking to him.

"I-I know you're not him, but please, can you at least say something?" She murmured, standing up wobbly as she placed her hand on the hilt of her katana.

Still nothing. It infuriated her.

. . . She didn't particularly know why, but it did. Maybe because it was all of the [doo-doo] she had to put up for this inner demon, or maybe it was because she was looking for some kind of closure, she didn't know. It could be both for crying out loud.

[Cordelia 0]

"Say something!" She screamed, her hands balling themselves into fists as she stood in front of the still silent doppelganger, teary eyed as hell.

Her breaths we labored and heavy as she unsheathed her katana once again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, a shadow casting over her face as she dashed in for an attack. 

Her katana slashed through Oscar's figure like a hot knife to butter, which only made her more and more disgusted in her actions.

It's not him, it's not him, she repeatedly several times in her head as she cleanly sliced through his duplicate's body, effectively shattering it.

What irked even more was the fact that he had been still as stone throughout the entire thing. . . and his face held no sort of emotion whatsoever. It wasn't the Oscar she knew, yet it still physically hurt her when she thought about how dull his face had looked before she had killed him.

ID: 132637
BD: 7, Hit

15x12=180-4=176

<<Second Inner Demon>>
HP: 0/153 
Damage per Attack: 75
Mitigation: 4

[Cordelia 0]

Cordelia sighed, wiping away at her tear dried cheeks. "Two more to go," she whispered, sheathing her katana just as a loud clang rang through the air. She looked up, realizing just now that the mist that had covered the entire area was in fact. . . gone? Well, that was incredibly fast, huh. The only thing left in the bright white room was another regal looking door, an unfamiliar symbol engraved on it's surface.

"Oh boy," she muttered, walking over to the door.

"What bull[doo-doo] shall you bestow to me now?" She muttered, pushing it open once again.

"I swear. . . if you're going to make me wait a whole frekin' decade again. . ." She whispered, her eyes traveling over the empty room. "I think I'm going to lose my [doo-doo]."

It's empty. 

As usual at this point.

Whatever it was, she could take it. She wasn't sure if anyone of the other demons could be as bad as her second one. . . but she shall see.

[Cordelia 0]

Cordelia's breath hitched in her throat as she entered the pitch black room, which heavily contrasted the pure white room she was just in.

"What. . ." she trailed off, her eyes landing on a heap of. . .  something on the floor? She furrowed her brows as she edged closer and closer to the pile.

"What the hell?" She echoed, taking a step back as she finally figured out what exactly she was looking at.

A pile of dead [no-no word]-ing bodies. The urge to vomit was prominent that she had to slap a hand over her mouth. Her eyes widened as she made out the faces of the people in the pile.

Oscar, Bahr, Yukiro. . . all people that she somehow knew, yet some of them she couldn't even remember the name of. It was sickening. 

And some of them . . . she didn't even know the name of. A tall man with glasses and orange hair, another one with glasses and red hair, and a girl with red hair. She didn't know any of these people. .  ! Why were they here? 

It was a terrifying sight.

[Cordelia 0]

Cordelia looked at her hands.

They were covered in red. 

Blood.

Cordelia resisted the urge to puke out yesterday's dinner as she looked back at the pile of nameless and named bodies. 

They were gone.

Cordelia's breath got caught in her throat as she unsheathed her katana. "Alright, show yourself, you putrid creature!" She screamed, clasping both hands around the hilt of her sword tightly as she looked around frantically.

Her breathing grew quick as her eyes flickered from one place to another. \

She felt the wind get knocked out of her as a sudden force pushed her from behind, pushing her forward on to the ground. She chocked on the air as she felt herself drop her katana, whirling around to see her attacker.

"Yukiro?" She whispered, her mouth agape as she pressed her palms against the cold ground.

The usual demeanor of one her friends was twisted into hysterical and crazy grin as his duplicate stared back down at her. "Why'd you let everyone die, Cordelia?"

ID: 132687
BD: 2+3=5, Miss
MD: 9

 HP: 348/460 | EN: 45/46 | 12 DMG | 2 ACC | 3 EVA | 1 SAVVY | 2 KEEN | 4 HLY

<<Third Inner Demon>>
HP: 230
Damage per Attack: 113
Mitigation: 6

[Cordelia 0]

"I-I didn't let anybody die!" She cried, pushing herself back on to her feet as she picked her katana up.

"Then how do you explain the pile of dead bodies? The bodies of your comrades?" He asked, unsheathing his own sword, preparing it in front of him.

"Shut up!" She screamed, her eyes shutting shut for a brief second. "This isn't real!" She whispered, "I didn't let anybody die. You're just making me think I did!" She muttered, shaking her head crazily as she prepared a sword art. "I won't let you get into my [no-no word]-ing head!" She screamed, dashing forward.

Haunted Verdict glowed a bright white light as she raised her katana above her head. "Now shut up and die!" She shouted, leaping into the air just before she plunged her katana deep into her friend's chest. 

'You aren't real. This isn't real," she whispered, pulling out the sword as she watched his body fall to the ground.

"It isn't real. . ." he whispered, gazing at her with saddened eyes before he disappeared.

". . . yet."

ID: 132688
BD: 10

12+4=16x15=240-6=234

<<Third Inner Demon>>
HP: 0/230
Damage per Attack: 113
Mitigation: 6

[Cordelia 0]

Cordelia huffed, lowering her katana as she gazed at the blue shards in the air as they disappeared one by one.

"[No-no word]," she cursed, stabbing her katana into the ground as she let out a heavy sigh. This quest was going to make her going freaking insane. She huffed again and pulled her katana from the ground, placing the blade over she shoulder as she lifted her head.

. . . one more demon.

Then she could finally leave. God, that was the dream.

She huffed, clutching her hand around the handle of her katana as she looked around for the next door.

Ah. . . there it was.

Another symbol she can't [no-no word]-ing recognize engraved on its regal front.

Cordelia sighed.

"One more. . ." she repeated, pushing open the doors.

Well, this was different. Compared to the other rooms, at least. There was actually an end to the room. Thank the Gods for that.

[Cordelia 0]

The whole room was a polygon with many sides, and each side occupied a mirror. It was certainly cool to look at but she could already tell what she was going to be going up against now.

"Alright, Cordelia, why don't we take this show on the road?" She asked, venom lacing her tone as she looked at herself in the mirror, only for the mirrored version of her move completely on her own.

That's whack.

Cordelia readied her katana and smirked. "Let's see what you can do," she grinned, her knuckles growing white from how tight she was holding her katana.

Her doppelganger gave the same smirk and unsheathed her own katana, the same Haunted Verdict as her own. 

"Heh," her double echoed, her eyes glossing over as she smirked at her. "You don't know the inner demon I am, do you? I assure you that I'm not like the others," she said, laughing manically as she placed a hand on her cheek. 

 

[Cordelia 0]

Her clone spread out her arms and grinned menacingly. "Well? What fear do you think I am, Cordelia?" She asked, her words coming out laced in venom as she tilted her head-- the same thing Cordelia did.

Cordelia gritted her teeth together to the point where she could feel a tickle of pain. "Shut up," she hissed, spreading out her legs as she prepared for an attack.

"Ah, ah, ah," the doppelganger tutted, holding up her finger as she gave her a toothy grin. "We can't do that yet, honey, why don't we dive deeper into your fears first, hm?" She cackled, a bright and blinding light filling the room as her twisted laughter echoed through the air

Cordelia squinted as she hesitantly opened her eyes, seeing that the light had died down a bit.

Her breath left her lungs. She was standing in a meadow, lush green grass under her feet.

"What the hell?"

ID: 132696
BD: 1, Fail
MD: 3, Fail

<<Final Inner Demon>> 
HP: 345/345
Damage per Attack: 169
Mitigation: 9

 

[Cordelia 0]

"Beautiful, is it not?" Her voiced echoed, though the physical form was no where to be seen. 

Cordelia furrowed her brows in confusion. What kinda of [no-no word]-ed fight was this? She looked around, the hairs on her arm bristling as she held up her katana. 

"Shut up, already!" She shouted into thin air. "Fight me already so I can just get this over with!"

"My, is that how you treat yourself?" The clone asked disappointingly, sighing. "Don't you see how beautiful this place is?" She asked, "doesn't it make you never want to leave?"

Cordelia froze, her body going rigid as she stared wide eyed at complete nothingness.

"Ah, now you realized it, huh?" Another cackle rang through the air. "You don't want to leave, do you?" 

"Y-yes I do! Shut up!" She retorted, though deep inside, she knew she was lying to herself.

"Ah, ah, ah. It's not good practice to lie to yourself like that, Cordelia." The voice echoed before she felt another wave of force push her forward from behind.

ID: 132696
BD: 1, Fail
MD: 9, Hit

HP: 431/600 | EN: 60/60 | 12 DMG | 3 ACC | 3 EVA | 1 PARA VNM | 2 KEEN | 4 HLY

<<Final Inner Demon>> 
HP: 345/345
Damage per Attack: 169
Mitigation: 9

[Cordelia 0]

Cordelia turned around and growled. "You're a witch," she hissed, not wasting a second to dash towards the clone and shred her to pieces.

"You think that this is a fear?" She asked, a crazy smile on her face as she stabbed her repeatedly over and over again. "No, no, no," she repeated, kicking her body away from her when she was finished. "I fully embrace it," she murmured, looking down at the clone with pitiful eyes. 

"You think I'm afraid of peopling finding out?" She asked, her smile taunting as she walked closer and closer. "I don't care if they judge me for it, alright?" She questioned, her lips pursing as she stood next to her still body.

"Who cares if I don't want to get out of this hell hole, right? No one is going to stop me if I just kill myself right before we get out of here," she giggled,  placing a hand over her cheek. 

ID: 132698
BD: 7, Hit
MD: 4, Fail

15x12=180 345-160=165

<<Final Inner Demon>> 
HP: 165/345
Damage per Attack: 169
Mitigation: 9