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[PP-F4] The Coldness that Surrounds


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Something that Lessa said had inspired Ceres.  She was right - the amazingly kind and warm woman who smiled with her eyes, and her heart... Ceres wasn't sure if she meant to or not but Lessa had encouraged her to do more - and that whilst it was ok not to fight on the frontlines, was it really acceptable to be so complacent with a life secluded away from others? Away from people? That Aincrad was full of terrible, terrible things - but also so many amazing and wonderful things. Being a part of Sword Art Online was not only a curse but a gift.  Ceres made a note that she'd have to thank the warrior woman if their paths crossed again.

It was the final push that lead Ceres to the 4th floor - she had never ventured further than the third  - chronological order made sense...but.... 'Why was this floor so damn cold!"  Ceres' general attire was based off of Greek Mythology, and not entirely suited to the freezing climate. The moment her booted feet landed in the midddle of 'Snowfrost' Ceres regretted the lack of preparation she had made. Still, the one thing she did have - was a thin light brown cape which she promptly draped over her shoulders. Ceres knew she wanted to come to a higher floor - but...didn't know what to do after that. So, she stood awkwardly out the front of one of the taverns, rubbing her arms to garner some form of warmth.

Lilac eyes glanced up at it's name 'Long Barrow' the sign swung gently above her, to and fro, to and fro, almost melodic in a way. Ceres softly smiled. It was cold...freezing, but...it was quaint. She had never seen snow before. Watching it fall was relaxing - and the people here... this place was much more lively than the Town of Beginnings. Ceres wasn't sure what to do - going inside was the smart choice, right? But at the same time...she wanted to watch the snowfall, and the people as they passed her by. "If only I were a little warmer this may be a little nicer..."
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Ceres wasn't sure how long she spent standing there - but her legs and arms had grown numb. Her cheeks became flushed. A cherry red glow sat atop rounded cheeks. Her form began to accrue a thin layer of powdered snow - but Ceres did not mind. It made her feel like she was part of the scenery - and - she was trying something new. That had to count for something, right?  "Small steps...." Ceres mused as she twiddled with the ring that Hannah had forged for her - "Better than no steps..."

Speaking of steps.... 

There was something different about the people around here. "Ah!"  Ceres exclaimed a little loudly when she connected the dots.

Some of them had pointed ears...elves? Was that an option in this game or were they NPCs? Ceres pursed her lips. How was she supposed to tell who was and wasn't an NPC anymore these days? If that series of fetch quests taught her anything it was that  they were far too realistic. They had facial expressions, expressed concern, even warmth. Ceres still wasn't 100% convinced Hannah had been an NPC - with how flawless her speech and mannerisms were. The other two, Lyle and Zackariah had more of an 'NPC' vibe but now?

"Excuse me, uhm hey you -" Ceres reached out to a woman wearing a thick hooded robe, tiny fingers clasped the edge of it as she passed. "Are you an NPC?"

"What?" The woman said incrudiously. "What on earth is wrong with you child?" She yanked her arm away and stared down at Ceres with an intense blue gaze - eyes the colour of ice. "Asking questions like that will get you killed. Idiot."

Ceres frowned as she pressed her back against the cold stone wall. "It was just a question. I just don't know..." Lilac eyes watched the woman stomp away. "NPCs here are all too human, and humans are all too...not human... it's confusing...is all."


@Alkor

 

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He watched the breath roil from his lips, transfixed. Winter in his hometown rarely got so cold that he could see snow, so Snowfrost Town was a nice change of pace. He yearned for Winter, because it felt cold and warm fires were never out of place. No one complained about the heat when it was a precious commodity. 

It was not like the humidity he was used to, where everyone was always sick of being sticky and covered in their own sweat. People loved the beach, but hated the weather that came with it. He just hated going outside.

More appropriately, he hated being around people. Even now in this world after coming to terms with the fact that he was not just a character in a game anymore, Alkor disliked unnecessary interaction. It made him nervous. 

When he heard someone ask another person if they were an NPC, he blinked. That's beyond socially inept. That's just being an airhead. He looked in that direction and spied a confused looking woman in the wake of someone who was not impressed with her question.

It's not your problem. She's fine. She'll be right. Just leave it... leave it... dammit, Thom.

"...hey, uh, are you lost?"

@Ceres

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"Why..." Came Ceres' reply. "Do I look lost?"

She tilted her head to the side, waves of crimson fell over her shoulder. Who was this man? Why was he approaching her? Ceres shifted awkwardly, reaching out of the warmth and comfort of her flimsy coat and pulling the hood further over her face as she shifted her lilac eyes away from him. "I'm just...watching..." Ceres mumbled. People rarely approached her...for two years Ceres had comfortably wandered around the first few floors alone. Without bother - yet now... People wouldn't leave her alone. She was approached first by the bright exuberant blonde - Lessa. Who was like a radiant sun in a cloudy sky...now this man...

Who was the complete opposite

His entire demeanor screamed 'leave me the hell alone' His presence was calm as still waters. His eyes were a warm honeyed amber - but they held a distant coldness - a chill. His hooded form stood in front of her, shadowing what little sun managed to poke through the sky above. Casting Ceres in shadows. 

"You look like you don't want to be here." Came her honest observation. "Are you the one who is lost? Or are you some form of quest NPC trying to activate a quest?"

@Alkor

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His skepticism bled into his face as a single brow rose. How could someone who had managed to survive for this long be so utterly...

What's a good word for it?

Alkor had to agree with her assessment. He did not want to be there, nor was he totally convinced about the things she was saying. It wasn't possible to mistake the cursors over Player heads, nor would an NPC understand what a Player was saying by calling them an NPC.

She had to know that. Didn't she?

"You're not armed properly," he stated as he looked her over and saw her items. All too familiar gear from the very beginning of their extended stay in Hell. "You shouldn't be leaving the settlements on any floor except the first with that kind of gear."

Clueless. That's it.

"You actually can die in here, you know."

He didn't answer her questions, because it should have been obvious upon further conversation that he was not, in fact, computer generated. And she didn't need to know that he didn't want to be there. That was not going to help her in the slightest.

@Ceres

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"You can actually have some tact you know?" Came Ceres reply, she didn't appreciate his attitude. Still - it slipped from her mouth and when she realized what she said she covered it  and shifted her gaze away. She wasn't good with people, but it didn't mean she had to be rude to the man. "Sorry... but - you don't have to be so rude." Ceres fiddled with her fingers, she knew...it was a constant reminder of why she was alone - why she didn't want to get too close to people.

"I know. I know I can die in here. We all know this, everyone here barely manages to live each day with that terrifying knowledge looming over their heads. It's why I haven't really left the settlements. It's why I don't talk to people. This is my first time above floor 3...I guess..." Ceres sighed as she finally pulled her hood down and away so she could stare up at the man with doe-eyed lilac orbs. "I may not want to fight...but I'm not weak. I'm over level 10 - and I have...I have..." She trailed off. What else did she have?

Nothing.

The answer was nothing.

"The only reason I was even here was because of Lessa..." Ceres mumbled as she went to pull the hood back over her head. "This was a stupid idea."

@Alkor

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He watched her in silence and listened as she spoke. Did she intend to berate him? His arms folded across his chest, the stoic youth let out a long breath through his nostrils and waited for her to finish. It almost looked like a dragon exhaling a plume of smoke, given the weather conditions. "You think being high enough level is all it takes to survive?" he asked. "If Lessa didn't warn you that there were other factors, she must be rustier than I thought. Look, you need to pick up some better equipment if you plan on traveling around. Mobs don't scale to your level- they scale to the floor you're on."

He doubted that the stronger woman had given the woman much advice about leaving the safe zones, because she wouldn't have urged anyone to do so unprepared. He gave her that much credit. It must just have been this particular woman, deciding for herself that she was ready to go on an adventure.

"I want to make sure no one else dies a preventable death," he told her, "and I'm not being harsh because I think it's the right way to approach people, I'm doing it so you'll understand that what you're doing is reckless."

I'm one to talk about recklessness.

That aside...

"You're welcome to do whatever you want, just know there are people risking their lives to make sure you don't have to. You could go back to the Town of Beginnings, kill a few boars a day, and live in an inn until they clear the game. If you're not going to take the threat seriously, you shouldn't chance it."

@Ceres

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This man...was so harsh, Ceres wouldn't be surprised if he had no friends at all. She guessed that may have been the only thing they had in common. Two friendless fools just wandering around the digital world. The greatest difference, is that he clearly had purpose - a will, and a strong urge to fight.

"You're right..." Ceres mumbled. "It's...all I've been doing...living in an Inn - barely venturing into the wilds. I was content. Content with being alone and isolated for such a long time but-"  She stopped talking. This man clearly was not interested. He didn't need to hear how another woman inspired her to be more, or that she looked up Lessa. He didn't need to hear her own ambitions or goals.

Even if she did tell him... The man pegged her as the type who wouldn't really listen. He was far too set in his own ways - his limited point of view.  "You don't want to hear it, I'm sure." Why did he bother to approach her in the first place if he was just going to be a di*k about it? Ceres turned her back to him. It was freezing out here and she wanted to feel the warmth of a fire - and enjoy the taste of a hot chocolate as she watched the snow fall outside. That had been her original plan.

"You're full of assumptions and accusations." Ceres said as she turned to enter the 'Long Barrow'  "You judge someone harshly without understanding them. Or even trying to." Her palm rested upon the wooden door. "She did warn me - and I am getting stronger equipment made. I may not be a frontliner - or a fighter - but there's more to this place than battles and death. One day you might actually open your eyes and see that. Something could be right in front of you - and you'd miss it because of your stone cold ideals."

Ceres opened the door and headed into the tavern - moving toward a free table by the window. She gave a heavy sigh as she glanced out, still seeing his shadowed figure. "Didn't even ask my name." She muttered. "I suppose I never gave him mine either."

@Alkor

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The more she talked, the more evident it became that this woman had her own ideas about how to handle herself. On the one hand, Alkor had made an attempt to help her and she had made it clear that she wanted none of it. On the other, she seemed to want nothing more than to unleash her fury on him about how he was pious and unfeeling up in his ivory tower. Both of those hands told him that he should leave her alone, and as she finished her tirade, he managed to let out a callous tch.

The door slammed in his face, separating the two Players by a thin margin. He could push it open and pursue, but why? It was clear she didn't want any part of his advice, but there was always more to the story. He had told Lessa that he was making an effort to change, to be better, and he was; but that didn't mean he was going to miraculously be better at talking to others, or with any sort of social interaction.

"Understanding others," he muttered. "That again?"

Part of him wanted to turn and leave it be. She could clearly find her own way with that attitude. At least, that was what he wanted to tell himself. In actuality, he pushed through the door nearly a minute after she had, looked around, and started toward her. "If someone tells you they don't want you to die, is that really how you respond?" he said as he got close enough that they were half a meter apart. "I'm not telling you not to do anything, or saying you're incapable, I'm telling you to be safe."

He thrust a finger toward her and jabbed it fiercely to accentuate his words. "You have options. You want to risk the life outside the safe zone? More power to you! I'm all for that! You want to live safely and get out of here alive? That's fine too! There's nothing wrong with any choice you make!"

Why was he yelling? What possessed him to care so much that he willingly followed another person into a crowded area and engaged with them verbally? 

You can't protect anyone if they don't trust you.

The words rang clear in his mind again, and his hand dropped. She clearly didn't trust him, nor did she want to. "Look, whatever you want to do is your decision," he said more quietly, "but at least wait to go exploring until you have that gear. I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll leave now."

He turned to do so.

@Ceres

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Ceres bit her tongue, doing her best not to snap at him as he quite literally shouted at her - Ceres didn't cower away - but she was visibly shaken at his words. The man turned to leave and she was tempted to let sleeping does lie. still.

"W-wait."

He paused.

'I'm Ceres. What's you name?" She asked as she gestured to the set in front of her. Ceres had to extend an olive branch of some sort, if he accepted - then she'd try to make amends and if he didn't - then she wouldn't waste her time nor energy persuing him.

He watched her as she offered him a seat at the table. His eyes hardened on the chair, as if he was uncertain of how to proceed,  If looks could kill that chair would be dead. "Alkor," he said finally. Hardly an eloquent introduction, but their meeting was hardly any kind of eloquent.

When he resolved to accept the offer, he pulled the chair out and set himself across from her. He glanced up at her, like a child awaiting instruction.

"I'm not good...with people." Ceres began as she lifted a hand to twiddle one of the long tasseled earrings she wore. "I don't...appreciate being yelled at but, I guess I deserved it. You approached me first asking if I needed help and..." Ceres drew a long breath and raised her shoulders - feeling tense. This was hard. "If...I'm being brutally honest - you're the...second person I've ever spoken to since we got trapped here. So when you approached me I inwardly panicked. And you just... you really look like you don't want to deal with people."  There was a small pause. "I can relate to that. Maybe that's why I was a little jumpy. We both made accusations we shouldn't have. I don't know you. Nor you me."

Their conversation was interrupted as an NPC waiter came up to them, "Greetings to the lovely young couple. Anything I can get you?"

Ceres turned her eyes to the man. He looked kindly. Balding white hair and a bushy mustache that covered the upper half of his lip. He wore a white shirt, black pants - and a dirtied apron. He wore a name-tag  'Tom'  "Oh...Tom? Just a hot cocoa please. With extra whipped cream and uhm...." She gestured a sprinkling action with her hands - and uhm - those little crushed cherries on top."

The waiter, Tom - nodded then turned to Alkor. "And you?"

@Alkor

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He grimaced as she spoke about his perceptions and hers, and how both of them had been wrong. He didn't agree, he had been harsh, but he had never said anything that wasn't true. Still, they had managed to find a stillness that seemed more appealing than the shouting match that could start, if he corrected her.

Alkor managed to keep his opinion to himself. "If you don't have anything nice to say," Grandma used to tell me...

She had told him about how bad she was with people, and while he agreed with her, he also related to that. "You're right," he admitted. "I don't really prefer talking to people or being around them all that much, but I also can't help but to try and do something when someone looks like they're in need. You looked lost, so I checked to see if you were."

The rest of that altercation could literally have been "oh, thanks for the advice," but it's never that easy. 

"Huh?" He half turned as the waiter appeared to take their order. "Oh, uh, we're not... uh..." Ceres started to give her order without a thought toward the statement about them being a couple, but Alkor at least attempted to correct it. His words were cut off by the short conversation, and "Tom" turned to him."

"I-I'll have an ale, I guess," he said.

Why did I sit down, again?

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"I always look lost - I think...partly due to my vacant expression - and my words. I'm...observant but often oblivious." Ceres tilted her head to the side watching him grimace, as he steeled away from her. Wow, he really wasn't that great with people. Perhaps - no - definitely -  worse than her. But at least he was trying, and he was better than her in one aspect - he actually reached out and helped others. Just like Lessa had. Ceres hoped she would find more people within Aincrad that did that.

Her lilac eyes fell to the table. "Mmm... isn't it.... lonely?" She asked as she rose her eyes to meet him. "Do you have friends here?"

His shoulders stiffened and his jaw clenched. It looked like Alkor was going to jump out of his seat and run away. "I guess." Came his curt reply, ever in that calm and even voice. How was he so composed yet so...erratic at the same time? What was going through his head? Ceres blinked. "Ah. Social Anxiety." The comment slipped out - she wasn't meant to accuse him of having it, or even say it out loud. If Alkor didn't say anything on the matter, Ceres would have been completely oblivious to the words that were spoken.
 

Instead, she continued her point from earlier. "I always have this idea in my head - that we should be able to make it on our own. That we shouldn't rely on others. Isn't it better not to need someone that way?" A hand raised up to twirl an earring, "But after meeting someone the other day, I wonder - if that is really an acceptable way to live."

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"It's... rough," he said after a moment when his drink arrived. The cool amber fluid washed down his throat and the familiar flavor soothed him just a bit. "I don't want to be helped, but I recognize this is a world where being a loner isn't going to get you far. Teamwork and community are important. Even if you don't know someone, if you let them die, that's one less person who might reach out a hand and save you from death later."

I didn't let anyone hold a hand out to me back then. I tried to take on the world alone. I tried to fight the Hydra without relying on my teammates.

As much as he hated to admit it, people did need others. There was no way to avoid it in this world. Perhaps the Creator had made it that way, as an indictment of modern society and how people were so far removed from communities, social activities, and engrossed in their phones.

In the real world, he avoided leaving his room as much as he could.

Here, you couldn't have a room if you didn't go out and agonize over mobs and col for it.

"You're allowed to ask for help when you need it."

@Ceres

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"I envy you - in an odd way..." Ceres said - pausing to pick up the hot chocolate that had been placed in front of her. "Despite your prickly demeanor you seem to be doing well. You have friends." Ceres paused to take a sip of her chocolate, she drew in a long, satisfied breath. When was the last time she had anything beside water in this game? Doing those few beginner quests had allowed her to actually obtain enough Col to afford something aside from the bare necessities. "You're reaching out to others...." She set the mug back down and smiled softly as she watched the single marshmallow inside it slowly sink.

"You remind me of an angsty rabbit - so ready to jump up and run away. But that's just a first impression. You're probably a bit of a softie on the inside."

She picked up her cup and took another sip, setting it back down she sighed. "I don't have that sort of ability to reach out to others. I haven't been able to bring myself to yet. But - I've started questing. I'm looking into armour - and am accumulating SP..."

Ceres laughed nervously. "Even....if I Haven't invested it into a single skill yet."

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He resisted the urge to get in her face again after the last comment. She had been around long enough to at least read the tutorial, or overhear someone talk about skills. To not invest them? At all? What-

No. Pick your battles. You don't need to start that again. Be calm. Be constructive. Be-

"Don't take this the wrong way, it's great you want to start moving forward; but you should stick to the First floor until you've made decisions about that SP, and work your way up once you've gained confidence in your abilities. Or at least have a party that can keep you alive while you're at it."

Okay, you could have done worse. Probably.

He finished the mug and crossed his arms. "I've met a few people, maybe one or two I'd call friends. That's a precarious word, and not a lot of people fit in it. But, acquaintances, neighbors, or allies- sure. I have those. I have..."

Had.

If they're all alive. If they still remember me. They haven't heard the news yet.

"...a few of those."

He straightened a bit and called for another drink. "You should try to find a few, possibly around your level. Work with them. Stick to the back. Feel things out. Get comfortable, then move forward."

@Ceres

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"You know...you speak like you've lost someone..." The comment was quiet, and completely inappropriate - but Ceres was never good with what was and wasn't appropriate. "I wonder if the people close to you - would be upset that you distance yourself like that?"
 

Lilac eyes followed the waiter as he came back, bringing Alkor another ale - and without her even asking, her another hot chocolate. Ceres wasn't sure she wanted a second one. Still she picked it up and took a sip from it. Not wanting to seem rude.

"I don't take it the wrong way - I know that reinvesting your skills is....a difficult and limited process. I want to get a feel for things before wildly throwing them around. I came here today to experience something new. I had not planned on leaving the town." Ceres pressed a cheek into her hand as she gave him a mirthful smile. "I appreciate the advice, I may seem clueless - but I'm not an idiot, as you probably think. The towns on all the floors are safe zones. If I didn't push myself to go out of my comfort zone into towns I normally would avoid...I'd never grow..." Ceres gesture toward Alkor.

"Isn't that what you're doing now? Pushing yourself out of your comfort levels? Talking to a stranger you clearly want to chastise? I'm not a child."

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"Talking isn't that hard," he pointed the back end of the mug at her, "I just don't like doing it." She had a lot of nerve, not that any of it would keep her alive. Still, she seemed aware of that. His entire reason for being there seemed pointless now. At least he had a few brews to show for it.

"You seem to want me here as much as I want to be here," he narrowed his eyes a bit and shrugged. "I can leave anytime. Just say the word. I did what I came here to do. You've been sufficiently warned."

He gestured toward his drink. "And I've wanted one of these for a while, so I guess that worked out in my favor."

Alkor took a leisurely sip, reclined a bit and leveled his gaze on the woman. She wanted to tear into him just as badly, but decided to settle for passive aggression? Was that it? He wanted to throw that right back at her, but honestly, he knew better. 

The high road would get him out of here with less of a headache, and he'd probably never see her again.

Probably.

@Ceres

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"Alkor...." Her tone turned soft for a moment. Why was he so defensive? Had she said something wrong? Something to upset him? Ceres stared at him with half-lidded lilac eyes, showing a mild concern for the man. He was right - though. He was a little annoying, but that was mostly her own fault. She found talking difficult. Even if he said it weren't that hard. To her it was.

"You're not wrong." Ceres began as she traced the rim of the mug with her index finger. "I don't exactly find your presence...pleasant. But It's also like... I'm not exactly disliking it either. At least - not enough to tell you to go away. Even if I had been tempted to do so earlier but I think I've calmed down enough now to not be so rash."  Ceres shook her head. "You say talking is easy. I find it difficult. I say things all the time that are misconstrued - or out of context, they may be too forward - or too clueless. I'm terrible with it. Yet here I am, having some semblance of a conversation with a rabbit man."

Ceres sighed as she placed her hands in her lap. "So again... I'm sorry if my questions are rude. I tend to...just ask things without fully realizing the ramifications."

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The expression he gave her was somewhere between skepticism and disbelief. 

Rabbit Man? 

He waited a few seconds for the blank pages of his mind to fill with words, then composed his face and lifted the mug to his lips. The container emptied rapidly. He placed it on the table in front of them. 

Alkor looked around to see if Ashton Kutcher had been trapped inside Sword Art Online with them, and he was in fact being PUNK'd. When it became clear that he was not, he let out a sigh. 

"Clearly, I'm not doing much of anything positive for either of us," he muttered. The truth was, irritation like this and a clear inability to empathize made Alkor infinitely more heated than he actually needed to be. They were both trying, but they were both also failing. Miserably. "Look, good luck with your adventure and the SP and all that. I'm not one to wish anyone ill, and I'd much rather see everyone in this god forsaken game thrive and survive. I just don't think I have anything worthwhile to offer you."

And I really don't need to create another situation like I did with Lessa back then. I need to be honest enough that I can create that space, and not try to help someone even though I'm not okay with it.

"It sounds like you already know everything I could tell you, and that's enough to get you by. There's plenty of people who would be willing to talk, if you are. Getting better takes practice, like you said. So, good luck with that, too."

He stood up paid the col that his menu prompted him to. 

"I've got an appointment to keep, so I really do have to run anyway. It was..." His voice trailed off for a moment. "It's been an experience, talking to you. Thanks."

@Ceres

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"What? What did I say?" Ceres asked as he stared at her. Expression warped.  He didn't answer her. Instead Alkor downed the mug of ale then slammed it down on the table in an act of finality. His cloak clad chest rose and feel with a deep sigh of frustration.

She had said something to set him off, hadn't she? Ceres inwardly cursed. She didn't mean that. She opened her mouth to speak aloud. "All I was trying to say was...despite everything - I actually don't mind the conversation...even if it isn't really going anywhere - but is that a bad thing?"

His response was muttering a response about how he hadn't done anything positive for either of them. "Not everything has to be positive. If it did - then - " She was going to say more. About how Ceres believed there needed to be a balance, a form of Ying and Yang. The bad times made people appreciate the good times more. But instead- she bit her tongue. Figuring it was best to keep silent. His domineering and cold presence demanded that she kept quiet.

'I just don't think I have anything worthwhile to offer you.'

"You probably do..." Ceres quietly said as he stood to leave. "You just don't see it yet."

She wasn't sure if he had heard her words or not. Instead, Alkor offered her a tentative thanks.

"Thank you too, Alkor." Ceres said as she looked up at him with a small smile. "I hope you find whatever it is you're running to."

@Alkor

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For Alkor, conversation of most types was a bad thing. He said things that made people misunderstand, or he misunderstood what they were trying to tell him. The very core of their current problem was that the things she was saying didn't help that they had already started off on the wrong foot.

Idle conversation was often even worse. If there was no point, why did they talk? They had nothing in common except a brief incident where they instantly disliked each other. That seemed like a recipe for disaster to Alkor, even if he were no authority on social things.

He thought he heard her mutter something, but clearly he had missed it if she did. He did not deign to pry about it. She returned his thanks with an uncharacteristic- or at least, uncharacteristic from what Alkor could tell of the woman- smile. He looked her over one last time from over his shoulder, then turned and raised his hand to wave goodbye.

"Later," he said, not unkindly. There was no reason to be mean to the woman, so he did his best to be as neutral about all of it as he could. He slipped out the door of the tavern and into the snow, swiping open his menu as he went.

He did have to respond to a message or two, after all.

@Ceres

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