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[PP-F14] Oh the things one can do!


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Mari turned to Freyd. She was too tired to deal with his crap right now. The manipulation. The lies. "So why did you do it?" Mari asked. Curiosity getting the better of her. She knew she shouldn't ask and walk away. Getting involved was what got her into this mess in the first place. "To sate your curiosity?" She asked. "To find out how I used to be? Don't you think it strange to just...do that to some stranger?" 

Mari paused and turned away from him with a small sigh. "Whatever. I'm too tired to care." And she was. Mari felt like she'd topple over at any second. She rarely, if ever got sleep. She was always fighting herself. Always trying, always failing. Now this asshole comes in and decides it'd be a fun time to push her.  Raidou had attempted something similar, although less extreme. 

"Although I had slapped Raidou for far less." Mari warned.

 

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His shoulders hunched.  No answer was going to satisfy her.  He was amazed that she had even asked.  No, actually, he wasn't this was how things seemed to work with her.  She asked a question, then you answered it, then she twisted it into something she could get mad at you about even if it clearly wasn't what you meant.  He was rubbing his brow, trying to dull the ache in his head.

"I did it because you needed to realize that you were needed, and that people still care about you, and that you don't have to feel alone all the time."  

Shit.

Honesty?

REALLY!?!

"I'm sorry for the pain, but not sorry to have done it.  For better or for worse, you needed it.  Friends... no... I probably can't claim that.  People... do that for each other."  He actually felt sheepish, but only because he was breaking his own code.  She wouldn't know that.

"And, if it'll make you feel better, I can always try to get you another pair of Raidou's glasses to break, or you can stab me a few times."  A shadow of the Cheshire grin returned.

And... back to normal.  Just.  Like.  That.

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It was twisted. The way he had gone about it. "That hurt you know." Mari said. And it did, more ways than one - she didn't like the overwhelming feeling of throwing up an entire entity.  She didn't like feeling like she had lost control. She didn't like anything about the situation - and it left her lonely, painful, and tired. "I know I'm needed." Mari said quietly as she turned away from him. "It's why I'm here."

There was no logic in sadness, nothing to gain from misery - from pushing others away. Mari knew that. Yet she couldn't help herself. Plagued by her past, whispers - the whispers telling her she was a monster. Unworthy. Deserving to suffer. Mari didn't think she was some kind of matyr for doing all of this. She was just...going through the motions. Now...more than ever. She was trying to grasp at what she should feel - how she should react and what she should say. Even as Freyd stumbled through an apology. Giving her his own reasons. Although Mari questioned why.

"And, if it'll make you feel better, I can always try to get you another pair of Raidou's glasses to break, or you can stab me a few times."  

This would be where Mari would put a smile on her face - grin back, offer puns and wry words of wit. But instead of that. Mari simply stared at him for a silent moment. There was nothing she felt like saying. Nothing she felt like doing. The whole ordeal left a coldness in her blood - a silence in her soul. The chill bringing her heart to a standstill. "You don't need to do that." It was the most pragmatic answer she could give. One that wasn't fueled by rage -or sadness. Because right now, Mari felt nothing.

@Freyd - The Whisper in Shadows

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His smile faded with the downward turn of his eyes.

"I know it hurt.  There was no way to avoid that, but I would have spared you it if I could."

"I know I'm needed." Mari said quietly as she turned away from him. "It's why I'm here."

"Saying that is one thing, but believing it is another.  I've seen your face Mari.  I've read your eyes.  As good as you are at presenting a facade, meeting expectations and hiding what's going on inside..."  He halted before saying something that she would likely use to ram his foot into his mouth.

"Ugh... this area really isn't my strong suit, but... 'knowing' I'm needed needed might be enough for me.  'Feeling' like you're needed is what seems to be missing, for you."  He placed a hand gently on her shoulder, not sure of how she would react.  "Yes.  We definitely 'need' you with us.  More than that, though... we 'want' you with us, right through to the end.  No matter what."

He turned his eyes away, looking out over the cliff's edge to the landscape beyond, half his face exposed as his hood flapped furiously about.

"That's all I've really been trying to get you to hear."

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Mari didn't really understand it - she didn't understand how he had found her. When she had tried so hard to stay out the way of everyone. Nor how frazzled and pained he seemed to before she was attacked by his dopple ganger. Only for a switch to be flipped -and for him to reveal it was all a part of his plan. That he wanted this to happen because he felt it needed to. He didn't really know her - they had met but a handful of times. She had questions, but not the energy nor drive to ask them. Mari doubted Freyd would give her a solid answer.

"It's fine." She said quietly. "I get it. You were trying to help." No harsh words. No anger at him for manipulating her, or following her. It was like everything she had held onto had finally slipped through her fingers and what she grasped at was empty air. She wasn't sure who the 'we' was - be it him, and his shadowed self. Or him, and the players. "I'm not sure you exactly went about it the right way. But...I'm not going to chastise you over it."

Mari stepped away from him, his hand - and the warmth that came with it fell from her shoulder. "I'm going back to my camp."

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Spirit broken.  The wound had been clumsily set and bandaged.  This was the best that he could manage.  He hoped that it would be enough.  Freyd stared out over the horizon for almost an hour, replaying the decisions he had made over and over again in his mind.  There were real limits to how much influence he could have over how others interpreted his actions.  Mari was a particularly tough case, as she so often veered toward the worst case scenario, or at least the one that generated the most anger and pain.

No regrets.  That was his commitment, and the deeds were done.

A thin haze of light shone through the ever-present smoke and cloud cover.  It gave him hope.  Looking down into the lava-filled gorge, he wondered what his own Gemini had felt at the last instant.  Starting to look behind him, wanting to check on whether Mari was safe, he stopped.  Leave her alone.  We've caused her enough pain already.

Freyd nodded to himself, then looked down at the red glow again, and stepped off the edge.

*Freyd uses a teleport crystal*

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