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Helium walks into a bar,

The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.

The optimist sees the glass half full.

The pessimist sees the glass half empty.

The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the Gas state.

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulphur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

A: OH SNaP!

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

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