Eruda

Shopping..."I...hey wait up..." Eruda drinks the rest of her second cup of cocoa and follows Haine around the corner. "I was not aware that shopping could be used as such. I always just thought that food was the only thing needed...What exactly are we shopping for Haine..." As she walks into the unit there was so much different stuff in there. "Why would I shop for clothes if I can make whatever is in here..." Maybe she could look for something fancy for her date...thinking that would make her more nervous being in clothing that wasn't her style she goes to Haine with a frown saying "Help...you say this is a distraction...all I am thinking of is what I could wear to the date but then that makes me even more nervous...Haine help..." Eruda almost begs Haine for help in hopes that she could...Looking around almost frantically trying to find the right area to start looking.

The day was beginning to end as the light in the sky begins to fade. Receiving the message from Sam in the guild chat Eruda says "Great another one of Sam's great ideas..." As she walks the beautiful path through the forest that surrounds the guildhall. She was trying to sort her thoughts before the big day with Raidou. Sorting her thoughts was not going to happen right now though. She had to go babysit Sam for the last time they got lost in the misty forest where Raidou had to save them. At least it was on floor one this time...With a sigh, Eruda starts to walk toward the warp gate. Heading to floor 1, Eruda sees Sam, Haine, and Simmone. All that slips through her mind was -oh god, here we go again- before walking to the others. Eruda has changed a lot since she last saw Simmone, and a bunch has happened too. Giving a gentle smile to all saying "So Sam, what do you have planned today? Hope it is better than last time..." Saying with a small laugh.

Eruda looks in her mirror in her closet-size bathroom struggling to focus on anything but Raidou. Things had finally calmed ever so slightly, Raidou and her had talked about having dinner once more. The last time was so very long ago and that was a time to be reckoned with. She ran from her feelings that day and after coming back, nothing of what she felt for him changed. It only got stronger these past few months that they have been working together. Helping Raidou with the guild and the new additions made things only get busy. Eruda was surprised that he finally was able to give the time that they deserved after working so hard. Haine told Eruda the other day that even though this world right now is hell, they need to find the balance to make it worth being here. Eruda needed to learn to enjoy what they have and work with what they are given. All of this was racing through her mind while she was looking at her reflection. Taking a deep slow breath, she was weirded out by the fact that she felt nervous about this date even though she has spent practically everyday working side by side next to Raidou. Why was this time any different? They were alone all those other time so why would the thought of being alone with him this time make her feel so freaked out. She has been wanting this for so long so why was she so nervous..."UGH" she says as she opens her HUD and sends a message to Raidou saying: Eruda had nothing super nice to wear so just puts on something formal, her blue tank top and jacket with dark blue jeans. Looking at the clock on her HUD it was only 6 PM... Eruda spends a little bit of time trying to get a hold of her nerves before leaving her shop knowing that it wouldn't take very long for her to get to the place.

Deserve to live too, to find the balance..."Normal to me back home isn't normal for me here. Every day I have to push myself out of my comfort zone in hopes that every day will be a success. Whether it is meeting new people and trying to become a better friend hoping that I don't disappoint them. My entire life...my normal has been hiding in the corner scared that people wouldn't like me...My normal was my twin sister Freya protecting me from the bad people and then leaving me. She is here in the game but I have not a clue where she would be." Taking a deep breath thinking of everything that was said, she slowly continues "This game and everyone in it is a new front for me... New territory...How can I find the balance between my normal and fighting when the bridges I have tried to build are not yet solid." Thinking about Raidou she looks to the ground as her face turns a bit red as she says "Raidou is a completely new subject too. All the guys back home would just laugh at me and...Why doesn't Raidou show interest in me...we wouldn't be having this second date if he didn't like me even just a little right?" She was sitting on a chair too...Sometime within this conversation Eruda and Haine had moved themselves to the cafe around the corner. Eruda ordered two more hot cocoas and handed one to Haine with a knot in her chest. She was struggling, trying to make the connections. This game wasn't by any means normal for her...Taking a sip of the steamed cocoa... "I fight to keep my mind distracted from topics like these because the more I think about everything, the more confusing it gets. I don't want to lose Raidou because yes I don't know him very well but the love that I have for him..." the love...She blushes once more...Putting her cup to her face she started to panic a bit as she says "The second date... how can I have that many feelings for him...I am so confused..." Eruda sits back next to Haine...

"Ah you play and sing, that is really cool. Maybe I can hear you play sometime." Taking a deep breath thinking of everything else Haine said. "I didn't really fight for anything in my other life. I tried but it was too hard to do so. Talking to people was really not my forte because everyone knew me as the soft little girl who hid behind my twin who didn't have a voice. The one time I tried to speak up I said something really weird and everyone made fun of me for it so I just stopped talking. It got me nowhere in life but here...I didn't want to be that scared little female who never talked. I started to stand up for myself and others. When the announcement was made that all deaths were final at first I was scared too. After I met Raidou though and saw his determination against fighting for the guild, it made me want to do the same. Protect all who need protection even if it costs me my own life. Prepare for anything and everything so that I will never have to choose between there life and mine. Fighting also helps me think." Eruda takes a moment to breathe for a moment. She liked having someone to talk too and share everything that she has been keeping in. Looking to Haine wondering how such a great woman could just show up out of the blue.

Helping Haine out a bit felt nice. She was glad to get this time to get to know these people. Eruda sees Haine walk away for a moment around the corner out of view and then after a moment she had returned. Was Haine sharing a house with someone? Eruda knew that she had nothing to worry about when it came to Haine and Raidou because well...Rai asked her out after Haine left the ice. Where were Haine and Kiluia all this time though? Raidou never mentioned them to her yet, Haine changed Raidou completely that day. What was she to Raidou... Haine placed the rest of the meal on the table and sat down and called Freyd over to sit with them. Eruda knew Haine was a good person but they all seemed troubled after they returned. Eruda quickly opens her HUD for a moment to check for Freya's messages again but to her surprise, the message she swears she got was not there...Eruda looks through her messages thoroughly and still finds nothing. Eruda didn't understand what was going on...She swore that Freya had sent her a half a dozen messages...Eruda thought of what Raidou told her of how he was being haunted by a ghost of her before Eruda came back...A knot started to form in Eruda stomach as she tries to figure out what was going on. "Freya," Eruda says quietly with tears starting to form in her eyes as she continues to scroll through her messages trying to find what was obviously not there...

"So write him a poem or something because I am not sure I am good with that kind of thing. Do men even like poems?" Eruda starts to giggle with Haine realizing that neither of them knew what they were doing when it came to this sort of stuff. After catching her breath a bit she asks "So what is your story? Do you miss home?" Eruda looks to the sky as she thinks about her own home. How her twin abandoned her the moment they went into high school. How her dad left when she was young with no real reason according to her mom. Her mom too busy at work to give a dam about everything going on with her. Taking a deep breath with her eyes closed Eruda says "I do not miss home at all. I wasn't liked at all and no one would talk to me. My twin was the popular one and even she seemed like she didn't like me very much because I was too shy and different from her. I came here and a boy talked to me...I am not sure why but somehow I make a difference here. I would love it here if it wasn't a death game." Eruda sits and ponders about everything she said knowing that each was the truth.

A sigh a relief flows throughout her body hearing Haine's word. Eruda had to correct Haine on something saying "I was gone too for years after that first date we had. I have not been back that long Haine. It has taken months to get where I am right now with him. I had no idea what was bothering him until you guys showed back up. I had no idea that you guys existed because I didn't know him that well back then. I would like to though, to know Raidou..." Taking another sip of her cocoa she looks to Haine with a smile. "I am not very interesting though...In my other life, I helped my mom, who was never home, keep the house clean and cooked dinner for her and my twin sister Freya. My dad left when I was younger...and the super sad part is that I had no friends back home. I felt really lonely, so I put my mind into homework and a job so I wouldn't think about it. Hell, my twin didn't even want to be my friend..." Eruda takes a deep breath and another sip of her hot yummy drink. Thinking about her real-life bummed her out. "I came into this game to be a different person. To make friends that I couldn't before. No one knows me here and I am trying so hard to not be that person again." Finishing her cocoa she sets the cup aside and it turns to data. "Raidou was my first real friend, he was the first to talk to me like a real person. He, by all means, changed how I looked at everything. Made me believe in myself because he believed that I could break out of that bubble I was in for so long." Eruda starts to think of what happened after Haine left... "You calmed Raidou down enough to finally ask me out..." Eruda blushes at this statement hoping that it would go better than last time. Knowing this time she had roots though to keep her here. "I am sorta scared now that I think about it but really excited at the same time." Frowning a bit Eruda says "Do you have any advice Haine..."

Eruda wakes up early with her mind racing with so much different content. Griswold and her dream, Sam and needing her to get better, all the new people that joined the guild that she would have to get to know better so she would feel comfortable being around them and the others at the same time. She gathers her things from her shop that was laying around and heads out. Today would be something weird for her because she seemed to be distracted by all of these unwanted thoughts. Another thing that crossed her mind was Griswold's new friend. Knowing that eventually, she wanted something similar that was fire-based so it matched her later gear. Sending a quick message to Griswold, she walks to the warp gate in the Town of Beginnings hoping to get her mind in check. Distract her mind from all the unanswered questions that could not yet be revealed. Her HUD chimes as she sends the message. Arriving at floor 9 after a swish of data through the morning sky with minutes of waiting, no response was given. Thinking of who else she could tolerate right now, help her get out of her own head...Setsuna... Eruda quickly sends a message out to Setsuna saying: Grabbing the quest from the board on floor 9, Eruda waits yet again for a response hoping that it wouldn't take long. While she waits she takes out what she had grabbed from the guildhall and eats/ activates everything hoping that this would make it sort of easier to complete this quest. Eruda consumes/ Activates Pheromone (+1 CD for Familiar Taming) Spyglass: -5 Post count when searching for Familiar (2/3) Cheerful March - Allure: +2 LD when searching for Familiar Lemon Berry Palmiers: +3 LD

Eruda was brought into Haine's how and all she could think was -WOW-. It looked so amazing inside. Everything was so clean and had an almost shine to each surface. For some reason, she expected nothing less of perfect from Haine. Eruda just got that vibe from her. Sitting on the couch that was presented to her she looks to Freyd saying "I was never trying to sell myself short, I am simply saying I know I need more work. If I want to protect everyone I can in this game, I need to be strong in my defenses. That's what I was trying to get across. Thank you for the vote of confidence though. It really does help. I know that I will get there and yes it will take time to do so. I just wish that this game wasn't even a thing in the first place though..." Eruda words fall silent as she tries to think if that was actually true. If this game never existed then she would have never met Raidou. She would have never become who she was now and would still be the scared little girl from back home who talked to no one. A slight frown formed on her face as she corrects her words saying "Actually no...I am glad that something like this exists because I am a better person from what I was in the real world. I just wish the stakes weren't so high." Leaning back on the couch with a sigh, she hears something drop to the floor. Quickly Eruda sits up saying "Is everything alright in there Haine? Do you need help?"

Eruda hands one of the hot cocoa's to Haine as she arrived. Haine seemed all chippy and Eruda was not in the greatest mood. Seeing a small fraction of what Haine meant to Raidou, she couldn't lie to her. Eruda didn't have it in her to lie to a person who could potentially be a friend in the future. Eruda knew that this conversation would make or break that concept. Closing her eyes as she took a sip of cocoa she tries to think of exactly what to say. After a few moments of silence, Eruda says quietly "Raidou means the world to me but I have never been able to actually get through to him." Pausing for a moment she thinks very carefully of what to say next. Taking a slow deep breath before saying "I was on this floor the other day at Setsuna's shop grabbing a new outfit. When I came out I heard a large echoing clash of something dropping onto the ice around the trees of where I was at. At that moment I ran through the trees in which I saw Raidou bent to his knee crying." Eruda couldn't help how she was feeling at this moment. Tears started to form in her eyes with a small sniffle of the combination of the cold weather and her feelings. "I wanted to so badly to just be there for him...My heart sunk when I saw him like that...I started walking out toward the clearing to see what was wrong...Haine, I saw you and hid." Eruda takes another sip of her cocoa and she knew how this could sound but Eruda was hoping that Haine would look past it and see what Eruda saw that day. Taking another deep slow breath trying to calm herself with another sniffle. "I have never seen Raidou like that...He was always so focused on helping me be better...He never had the time to show any feelings toward me even though I knew something was there. You broke through and made him enjoy this dysfunctional world again." Taking a hand from the cup, she wipes her cheek with another sniffle. "I knew Raidou back in the day. We had something going between us or so it looked that way...I left him that night that we had our first date 3 years ago... I was afraid of what I was feeling for him because I never in my life felt like I did for anyone as I do for Raidou right now...The moment the other day when you described how you knew if you like someone...I feel that way about Raidou a million times over...That night Haine I left..." Another sniffle and a sip of her cocoa. Continuing her confession saying "I came back to him years later after trying to sort out my feeling and Raidou was completely different. He almost seemed...broken...When I saw you guys together on the ice...He opened back up Haine. You set him free..." Eruda knew that this could backfire somehow but if she was going to tell Haine the truth, it had to be the whole truth and why she stayed to watch them. It was only then that she glanced at Haine and gazed into her eyes. "I want to be your friend and I want to know you, Haine. I want you to know me and that I always do things for a reason. I was not watching you that day...I was watching Raidou after all this time actually enjoy himself." Taking a huge deep breath trying to calm her nerves that was starting to act up, Eruda looks to the ground now and waits for Haine's reaction to the whole situation hoping that she would understand it from Eruda point of view.

Before Eruda could comment on anything, she sees the large bee that they were looking for, approaches out from the mount within a tree. Haine swipes it with her weapon like it meant nothing with little issues attached. Eruda didn't even get to pull her weapon out this time. Smiling she says to Haine "Well now that that is dealt with, you offer the food. I have things I still need to do but I can take a moment to eat something. I can't remember the last time I ate anyway. So where are we doing this," asking her as she felt like this could be a way of getting to know some of her guild members without pressure or distractions in the way. Looking to Freyd saying "Well regardless of how you came to join us, I am glad to have you around. I may not look like much now but you can be dam sure that I will help with anything that you need. You can count on me to be your shield when you need it the most." Eruda smiles sincerely and looks to Haine again saying "Lead the way."

Freyd explains the quest and Haine greets her. A small nod to Freyd saying "Lead the way. I will take point if you need me too. I do not do enough damage but I can sure block a hit." Glancing at Haine her mind keeps going to the ice. She knew that she and Haine would have to talk soon and the fact that Eruda saw them together without Haine knowing, well it felt wrong. Eruda would have to talk to Haine soon because she didn't know how much longer she would be able to keep it silent. Looking to Freyd giving a smile she says "So what made you want to Join Firm Anima of all the other guilds out there. I would really like to have a better understanding of everyone." Thinking of the last time she ate she says "Food after sounds great" as she walks behind Freyd making short conversation before heading to battle.

Waking up early in the morning, Eruda decides to start her day like she always does. Gathering her things she starts heading to the guildhall first. Spending a few hours looking through the new content that Raidou set forth. She had arrived at the hall after Raidou had already left for his daily adventures. Being a bit sad that she didn't see Raidou before he left she thinks of Haine. Seeing them on the ice made her want to speak with Haine as their conversation was cut short. With the very little time they spend together, Eruda wanted to know more. She also wanted to confess about what she say and thank her for doing what she couldn't for Raidou. Eruda stacks the papers back into a neat pile on the table and heads to floor four as it was rounding about 9:30 am. Having a conversation on the floor that she first saw Haine seemed fitting. Arriving at the floor four town she sents Haine a message saying: Eruda grabs 2 large hot chocolates from the inn in town and waits for Haine to arrive.

Eruda wakes to another long day ahead of her. Doing a few things around the shop, cleaning, dusting. Sam was not here for once. Eruda was usually the one to leave before her but this time it was the other way around. Eruda smiles and decides to continues her quest journey with whoever wishes to come. Eruda opens her HUD and to her surprise, it chimes before she could get a message out. Eruda chuckles a bit seeing Freyd asking for teammates to go with him. Similar to what Eruda was just doing the other day. Eruda with her HUD open instead looks at the guild members that were added recently. There were a bunch of new faces that Eruda would soon have to meet and get to know. Locating the floor that Freyd was on, she gathers her equipment that she would soon have to replace and starts to head to the warp gate in the beginning city. Arriving at floor 2 she sees Freyd and Haine standing around waiting for another guild member she supposed. Walking to the small grouping saying "I will join you on this quest if you don't mind. It was one on my list anyway. Freyd nice to see you again and Haine you too of course. So Freyd you are the party leader so you lead today.Tell us about this quest if you would." Eruda would stand by both of them just in case something did go wrong but given that Freyd was the one who sent the invite this time...She would follow but be prepared for anything that may go wrong.