Jackpot

"Oh course I can," Jackpot said in a grumpy tone, snatching up the items and carrying them toward the back of the shop. "I'll have these out for you soon," he promised as he disappeared into... whatever other extension of the cave there was.

He grumbled as he perused the items, not finding anything particularly of value in the bunch. There was, however, a Trinket that stood out from the rest of the wares, possessing an Enhancement he had never seen before. Perhaps this red fellow would see value in it. Or, perhaps he would leave it for Jackpot to reap the benefits of instead. Either way, it was a win-win.

"Alright, here's the list of the stuff you submitted," Jackpot sounded as he emerged back into the main cavern, a digital panel populating in front of Bahr. "What would you like to do with these, boss?"

+42 EXP

"Woah. What the heck is this?"

A tent. A circus tent, at that. Sprouted up in the middle of town, in the blink of an eye. Or maybe it had taken longer than that. Jackpot really had no way on knowing, because he hadn't been around for its sudden or not-so-sudden construction. He was certain that it hadn't been there the last time he rolled through, though.

Or was it? Who cared, anyways? It was worth checking out.

He strolled into the tent without a care in the world, sauntering past the various groupings of zombies and the players fighting them, right up to the concession stand. "Hey there. I want in on... whatever this is. I'll pay handsomely, you know. Oh? Only 500 col?" He immediately began to dig through his menus, sending the col Jack's way. "Huh. Jack? Hey, I'm a Jack, too."

He snickered dorkishly at his comment while perusing the products that were available in the concession stand. "Ahh, I'll take a few of these. And a few of these, too, thank you. Yes, that will do just fine."

-500 col for Ticket
-750 col for Spider Cider x15
-300 col for Popcorn x2
-2000 col for Funnel Cake x2
-2000 col for Offbrand Energy Drink x20
5550 col sent to Jack

Jackpot accepts because he needs at least some gear.

Name: Big Chungus
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124706
Identification Roll ID:
125099 | LD17 = DMG
125100 | LD19 = Paralyze
Item Type: Two-Handed Battle Axe
Tier: 2
Quality: Rare
Enhancements: DMG 1 | Paralyze 1
Description: "Big Chungus. Much Strong. Very weapon."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582968

Name: Chestplate of Uselessness
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124617
Identification Roll ID:
125101 | LD11 = Heavy Momentum
125102 | LD2 = Regen
125103 | LD12 = Heavy momentum
Item Type: Heavy Armor
Tier: 2
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: Regen 1 | Heavy Momentum 2
Description: "Nobody in their right mind would take this armor seriously."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582968

Name: Grieves of Uselessness
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124654
Identification Roll ID:
125104 | LD19 = MIT
125105 | LD10 = Heavy Momentum
125106 | LD11 = Heavy Momentum
Item Type: Heavy Armor
Tier: 2
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: MIT 1 | Heavy Momentum 2
Description: "Nobody in their right mind would take this armor seriously."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582968

Name: Armor of Uselessness
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124655
Identification Roll ID:
125107 | LD17 = MIT
125108 | LD11 = Taunt
125109 | LD3 = Regen
Item Type: Heavy Armor
Tier: 2
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: MIT 1 | Taunt | Regen 1
Description: "Nobody in their right mind would take this armor seriously."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582968

Name: Chestplate of Timeless Frost
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124715A
Identification Roll ID:
125110 | LD1 = Regen
125111 | LD4 = Regen
125112 | LD15 | BD: 10 | CD: 10 = Frost Thorns
Item Type: Heavy Armor
Tier: 2
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: Regen 2 | Frost Thorns 1
Description: "As the air to a bird or the sea to a fish, so is contempt to the contemptible."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582968

Name: Mystical Banana
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124715B
Identification Roll ID:
125113 | LD1 = Keen
125114 | LD15 = ACC
125115 | LD19 = ACC
Item Type: Trinket
Tier: 2
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: Keen 1 | ACC 2
Description: "Most would be unwilling to wear such a tacky pendant, but those who do will be graced by the Mystical Banana of Overlasting Accuracy."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582968

Jackpot's face rose from where it had been resting on the desk as he heard someone shuffling around his cave. Was it a customer? Robber? What time was it? 

When the man in Azure approached and laid the equipment on the table, Jackpot's ears were still adjusting to actually being awake and subjected to desiphering sounds and words. But after a moment of staring at the newcomer with eyes wide as owls and a couple of slow blinks, he finally caught on. Glancing at the panel that populated in front of him, Jackpot did his best to hide his glee. "Thank you for your generosity. I'll have these figured out for you in a jiffy."

The next day...

"Yeah, sorry. That took a lot longer than I thought," Jackpot admitted as he emerged from the back room. He was going to lie about how one piece of armor kept giving him trouble, but the reality was that he had gotten all of the identifications complete within the last five minutes. He had simply fallen asleep again. Rather than lie, he simply chose to omit the truth and say nothing. "Here's your equipment - some are better than others. Let me know if you want to Junk Sell any of them."

+42 EXP

Day 2

Jackpot scowled at his luck. Brand new shop and he was already bleeding money. It wasn't the Dederick didn't have a point, but it's not like Jackpot knew they would end up trapped in this stupid game. Did the little religious boy really think that Jackpot would have dawned the NerveGear as well, had he known? Whatever. Perhaps if he identified some decent gear for the kid, he would lay off.

But no such luck. As Jackpot examined the pile of items he had accumulated from his recent venture out of town, he came to the realization that none of it was much better than what Dederick had found. Curses. He would just need to try again some other time.

+42 EXP

Name: Robes of Robe-y Robeness (Earning a Living)
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 1
Acquisition Roll ID: 124882
Identification Roll ID:
124891 | LD12 = EVA
124892 | LD13 - EVA
Item Type: Light Armor
Tier: 1
Quality: Rare
Enhancements: 2 EVA
Description: "Light armor designed to make the wearer more elusive."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18208-f01-sp/?do=findComment&comment=582792

Name: Inferno Guardian
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124749A
Identification Roll ID:
124894 | LD17 = Thorns
124895 | LD19 = Thorns
124896 | LD3 | BD10 | CD12 = Fireproof
Item Type: Shield
Tier: 1
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: Thorns 2 | Fireproof
Description: "This shield is said to be crafted by a mixture of steel and ice that never melts. The wielder will find themselves immune to fire of any kind."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582810

Name: Battleplate of Blind Honor
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124766A
Identification Roll ID:
124897 | LD2 = Regen
124898 | LD18 = Mitigation
124899 | LD1 = Regen
Item Type: Heavy Armor
Tier: 1
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: 9 MIT | Regen 2
Description: "Only the honorable my dawn this plate armor. Its regenerative effects make death a fantasy."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582810

Name: Striker the Cunning
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124749B
Identification Roll ID:
124900 | LD6 = Keen
124901 | LD6 = Keen
124902 | LD5 - Taunt
Item Type: One-Handed Straight Sword
Tier: 1
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: Keen 2 | Taunt
Description: "This blade has a momentum to it that builds with each successive strike. Enemies will take notice of the wielder's prowess."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582810

Name: Stormcaller
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124766B
Identification Roll ID:
124891 | LD18 = Damage
124892 | LD20 = Damage
124892 | LD12 = Paralyze
Item Type: One-Handed Straight Sword
Tier: 1
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: DMG 2 | Paralyze 1
Description: "This sword calls out to those desiring a more direct approach. Lightning pulsates from the hilt and down through the blade."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582810

Name: Whistling Sabre
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124752B
Identification Roll ID:
124891 | LD15 = Accuracy
124892 | LD2 = Taunt
Item Type: One-Handed Straight Sword
Tier: 1
Quality: Rare
Enhancements: ACC 1 | Taunt 
Description: "What this sword lacks for in power or durability, it makes up for in its ability to draw attention. Holes bored into the side of the blade make it whistle as it slices through the air."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582810

Name: Dealer's Choice
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 124750
Identification Roll ID:
124891 | LD17 = +60 HP Recovery
Item Type: Consumable
Tier: 1
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: HP Recovery 3
Description: "It's difficult to tell exactly what this thing is, or what it was intended to do. But when eaten, it heals."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r1-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=582810

Jackpot played it cool for a minute after hearing Dederick's demands. He even chuckled a bit at it. Before long, the chuckling turned nervous. Then it stopped as he realized Dederick was dead serious. "T-ten thousand col!? Are you out of your mind!?" he shot back, raising his voice as he leaned over the counter. Dederick didn't flinch. With a sigh, he leaned back and let out a huge, exasperated sigh. He had just started this business, and already he was over a barrel. He didn't have to do anything for the kid, but Dederick was right. Jackpot was partially responsible for getting them into this mess.

"Fine," he relented with a scowl as he snatched up his magnifying glass, examining the pieces of equipment and... thing that Dederick had placed on the counter along with them. Was that a muffin? Pasta ball? Strange meat? It was impossible to tell. Before long, everything had been properly identified. "This brings your IOU down to 6320. Don't you think for a second that I won't keep tabs, because I will."

+42 EXP

Imagine opening up a shop in the middle of nowhere and getting a weird customer within the first ten minutes.

Imagine a gigantic smile creeping across your face as you take a deep breath, opening your mouth in preparation to welcome your first customer with exuberance and help guide them through your wares.

Imagine the soul-crushing realization that they were only there to unload their stuff onto you.

Jackpot didn't need to imagine. 

He begrudgingly snatched the sack and rifled through it. It was a ton of food. Like, a literal ton, or at least it would have been in the real world. After a few moments of ruminating over the disappointment of not actually getting to sell anything during his first exchange, he junk sold the heap and paid the woman her dues. Afterward he grunted and made a dismissing gesture with his hands, taking a seat on his stool behind the counter and burying his face in his palms.

+166 EXP

Nobody ever goes to Floor Ten. It's home to countless creepy crawlies such as Cave Spiders, Giant Centipedes, and more. On any given night you may hear the wretched shriek of that infernal Banshee. The abandoned jail that overlooks much of the floor casts a sinister tinge across its every nook and cranny, filling your casual adventurer with an unsolicited sense of dread and foreboding.

But for those willing to look beyond its flaws, they'll find one of the most vibrant floors that the floating castle Aincrad has to offer. Luminous crystals and vibrant flora fill the cave-like expanse with a soothing glow, and the dead quiet can work wonders for a loud mind overcrowded with invasive thoughts. They can also find Jackpot's shop, a small hole in the wall - literally - in which the interior matches the exterior.

Some people might be reluctant to buy goods from a goofball that lives in a cave inside of a cave. Then again, you aren't most people, are you?

IMPORTANT NOTICE: RULES
1.) You must pay in advance for Identifications.
2.) Please keep the items in your list organized (groups weapons together with other weapons, armors with other armors, consumables with other consumables, etc.)
3.) Try using the word spelunker in your post, if you feel like it. Jackpot hates that word with a passion, for some reason.

For Identification

General Stock (Striked out sections have yet to be unlocked)

Junk Sale Rates

QUEST COMPLETED

Thread net gains:
2 SP
1590 col
<<Merchant>> Profession
Standard <<Merchant>> Shop
(1) T1 Rare Light Armor - "Robes of Robe-y Robeness" (+2 EVA)
(4) T1 Materials
(1) T1 Rare Weapon [ID: 124841]
(2) T1 Perfect Consumables [ID: 124881B, ID: 124881C]
(2) T1 Perfect Armors/Shields [ID: 124881A, ID: 124887A]
(2) T1 Perfect Weapons [ID: 124887B, ID: 124887C]

Now that was how you had a good day. Jackpot never would have believed when he woke up that later in the day he would learn how to identify items and become a full blown Merchant. Life was weird like that. He wondered if Billy would end up hating him later on, due to how much business he was sure to steal from the little runt? Ah, well. Perhaps the kid would look at this as a learning opportunity and grow from it. Or maybe he would give up the profession and just let Jackpot steal all of his customers. The latter definitely seemed like the superior alternative.

But for now, he was tasked with finding a place to sleep. That spot on the bench seemed nice. Without a house of his own and unwilling to pay money to the inns, Jackpot had resorted to finding spots in Safe Zones to catch a snooze. Perhaps once he opened up his shop, he could install a loft of some sort and simply sleep there instead. But for now, the bench was the solution.

He then procured the armor he had found in the street earlier that day. From the looks of it, it seemed to be Light Armor. A swift investigation into its enhancements revealed that it was yet another double - but actually a good one. "Seems to me this one is a double Evasion enhancement. Pretty good for something I picked up in the road, right?" Billy's silence confirmed it. They both knew that the Light Armor was the superior equipment out of the lot. "I'll take that as a yes. You can keep the shields, I'll be walking our of here with the armor."

He hastily snatched up the article and stashed it in his inventory, casting a glance Billy's way. The child looked almost dejected. "Sorry kid, better luck next time. Guess this means we'll be in competition from now on, huh? You'll come to regret that later." With a snide grin, Jackpot offered the youth a wink before walking out of the shop.
 

"Heh. Bout time you figured it out. Yes, that's a Recovery One shield. Now let's check out the next one," the child snickered, moving the first shield out of the way and plopping the second shield onto the table in front of Jackpot. Once again, he surveyed the shield, looking at its various lines and grooves until realized... it was another Recovery shield. Pure Recovery. What were the chances?

"I think it's... Recovery Two? Can that really be right?" Jackpot inquired honestly, turning back toward Billy.

"Yup. Bad luck, friendo. I don't think I've ever seen someone identify three Recovery enhancements in a row. You might be 'good' at this, but your luck sure is horrible. You sure you want to be a Merchant?"

"Of course I do. This is definitely what I'm good at, you'll see. Everyone has bad streaks like this eventually," Jackpot shot back, gritting his teeth and shoving the second shield aside.
 

"Alright then, it's a deal. So here's what you do..." Billy leaned in close and started showing Jackpot the various things to look for in a piece of equipment to determine what sorts of qualities it had. As it turned out, this shield was indeed unremarkable in practically every way, and only uncommon in quality. Jackpot had been right all along, which seemed to speak volumes for his aptitude for this sort of work.

After identifying the quality of the item, Billy tasked Jackpot with uncovering the truth of its enhancement, using only the tools around the shop and the knowledge he had bestowed upon the violet haired goofball. And so Jackpot grabbed a nearby magnifying glass and scrutinized the piece, inevitably coming to the conclusion that it was a Recovery piece. "Looks like Recovery One, if I'm not mistaken," Jackpot said smugly, looking back to the boy expectantly as though waiting for his reaction.
 

With a deep breath, he readied himself and opened the door, sauntering through the shop and into the back room where Billy was waiting for him.

"Oh? Took you long enough, You get the stuff?" the kid inquired crudely, eyeing Jackpot with a scrutinizing scowl.

"Yep, found these three right here," Jackpot chirped as he produced the two shields and an armor piece, setting them on the table in front of Billy. The youth's eyes lit up as he examined the treasure, but the light was fleeting. He regarded Jackpot with the same scrutiny as before, seemingly putting his bargaining cap on.

"So here's the deal. I teach you how to identify items, you identify all three of these, and I'll let you keep whichever one out of the three that you want. We got a deal?"

Jackpot rolled his eyes at the offer. He had been expecting as much, but still found it patronizing to be treated like a noob in this industry. After a moment, he simply nodded. "You've kinda got me over a barrel here, so sure."

He entered through the gates on the outer walls of the Town of Beginnings just in time. Dusk had finally settled upon Aincrad, and who knew what sorts of creepers and crawlies were beyond the edge of town now. In the Safe Zone, he needn't worry about things such as these. It was fortunate that such spaces existed. He couldn't imagine what he would do if suddenly the Safe Zone was turned off and a dragon descended upon the city, or something like that. He would probably scream like a little girl, throw himself to the ground, play dead and hope for the best. He'd probably die anyways, like the coward he was.

But that wasn't going to happen, so all was well. 

It took him a bit, considering the town was absolutely massive, but eventually he managed to make his way back to the exterior of the inn he had been passing by earlier when Billy accosted him.

Without wanting to drag things out any longer, he adjusted course and began walking back toward the Town of Beginnings, eager to get back to Billy with his finds and get to identifying. He decided that he was only going to share with Billy the items that he had found laying around, rather than the ones he had gotten from looting mobs. Those seemed to be more valuable, and he would wait until he had a space of his own so he could identify them and keep them all for himself. Sharing them with a kid just seemed foolish more than anything.

But gleaning whatever experience he could from the child didn't sound like a wasted effort. The items had been easy enough to find, after all. Now all he had to do was learn how to identify them, presumably leave a couple with Billy, and then go about his business doing practically whatever he pleased and making as much money as physically possible. It didn't really need to be any more complicated than that.

But, as with all good things, this, too, was destined to come to an end eventually. It was a shame, really. Jackpot could have stood there and watched the little pig run circles for hours. But the sun was going to be going down soon, and he wanted to get back to Billy with the items he had procured before running into something more fearsome in the dark. He had enough trouble fighting in the daylight - the idea of trying to hit something in the dark was legitimately terrifying.

And so he sliced into it with his blade, and it erupted into a shower of azure polygonal fractals before his very eyes. The loot panel that populated absolutely blew jackpot away. Three Perfects. In a single mob. No wonder it had given him so much trouble. Well worth the effort, in the end. If every mob that put up a small struggle like that gave loot as good, he would have almost thought about taking up a business as a hunter.
 

The board didn't like this, of course. It began squealing and stomping around violently, thrusting its snout into the air and running around in circles like a four year old with a frappuccino. There was a comical quality to it all, with an energy akin to a grown man throwing a loud hissy fit in a McDonald's because his Happy Meal didn't have the toy he wanted. Moments like those, and these, were what Jackpot lived for. He couldn't help it when the edges of his mouth began to curl upward.

When it ran toward Jackpot for another pass, he didn't even try to move out of the way. He simply braced for impact, took the hit, and immediately counter attacked with a slash from his curved sword. Immediately, the boar shrieked and backed away, continuing to run circles just as it had moments before. All Jackpot could do was stand back and laugh.
 

After he released the breath that he had been holding in, he quickly hopped back up to his feet - only to get clobbered by the boar all over again. It rammed into his legs and sent him spinning in place, practically levitating above the ground for a split second before face planting right into it. With a grumble, he stood again for a second time, brandishing his weapon and regarding the creature with scorn.

"That was extremely rude. If you were a customer, you'd be the sort that I would swindle. With a smile on my face," he spat, eyes narrowing as he prepared a combat stance. "Who knows? I might even be selling you, depending upon where I worked. As bacon, ham, speck in a hot dog. Who knows?" He giggled to himself a bit before lurching forward, his blade swishing through the air gracefully before slicing into the boar's thick hide.
 

Perhaps that meant that being a salesman was the best profession for him. Yeah! It had worked out well for him in the real world. He had really made a name for himself out there. He had pulled himself up by his bootstraps, dusted himself off, taking a deep breath of air and-

Holy crap. 

What was that? Before Jackpot knew it, he was laying on the ground, knocked over so rapidly that he didn't even have time to realize what was happening to him. It was a boar, of course. It had come out of nowhere, as they do, and rammed its skull into his legs, sending him toppling over before he had a chance to react. It hadn't hurt, per se, considering that Sword Art Online had pain dampeners for this sort of thing. But it was definitely jarring, to the point that he had been holding his breath without even having realized it.
 

Curses. The only work he truly enjoyed was swindling people. Er, selling things. Yeah, being a salesman. That was it. He would never intentionally rip people off, that was for sure. Never had, never would. Totally.

Yeah. Totally.

Truthfully, it wasn't like he would ever do it unless he absolutely needed to. Like if his livelihood was on the line, or his life or the lives of his family, perhaps. That's the only situation in which he would swindle someone out of their hard earned cash.

Yes. Indeed.

Well, and maybe if the customer was rude to him for no reason. Then they deserved it. It wasn't like salesmen had an easy going - sales was hard work, even if it didn't seem like it. If someone wanted to disrespect him because he was on the clock, it was what they got for being so rude.

Uh huh. Yeah.

Nah, he genuinely enjoyed ripping people off. 

And then, as luck would have it, he stumbled upon yet another piece of mysteriously placed gear. This time it was just sitting in the middle of the path, and he actually watched a pair of travelers walk on it instead of around it. It had to just be a part of the quest. There was no reasonable explanation for something like this just lying in the middle of the street, and then for people to ignore it so flippantly. It was clear that only he could see these things lying about.

The good news was that that meant he wasn't going insane. At least, so he hoped. The bad news was that an opportunity like this would never, ever present itself again. He would never again just see loot propped up against a tree. Or lying in the middle of the road. No, from now on, he would need to work for it. How revolting. He would much rather just find things without putting in the effort for as long as he continued to remain in Aincrad.
 

Whatever. Jackpot knew boars didn't talk. But he had also known until just a few minutes ago that shields didn't just randomly appear underneath trees. That being said, it wasn't like he needed the boar to talk to him, or even wanted it to. Well, maybe he did, just a little bit. He was so lonely. And a talking boar was the kind of thing that could cheer anyone up. Not only because it would be hilarious, but because he was sure he could make some money off of it. No such luck with this boar, it seemed.

So he killed it instead. All it took was one swing and the carving of his blade between air and flesh alike. Its sharp sting was met with little to no resistance, and the boar shattered into countless azure fractals in an instant. The loot panel that generated afterward was a sight to behold - perfect gear!