Jackpot

The space was dimly lit as Jackpot fumbled forward, teeth chattering of their own accord as the anxiety of the situation crept into his every pore. What if it had been a rouse? Hermes wasn't really interested in a challenge, he wanted to kill Jackpot. And what would Jackpot be able to do against the might of a god of this realm?

Not a damn thing, that's what.

The building certainly appeared bigger on the inside than it had on the outside. It seemed to stretch on for a mile, or perhaps even longer. But which each step that Jackpot took forward, he found that it gradually became brighter. The glow from the torches that lined the walls increased in intensity the further he got, and before he knew it, he'd reached the end. 

A single table. Made of rich mahogany. An obnoxiously large chair rested beyond, which was turned away from Jackpot. 

"Sooo," a shrill voice mused. "You're Jackpot, huh? Gotta say, not at all what I was expecting. You're kinda... feeble."

"Sheesh. I've helped out all sorts of pathetic gremlins over the years, but you're by far the most fearful. How have you survived this long, anyways?" the satyr inquired, raising one of its bushy brows while folding its arms. 

"Those who know fear survive," Jackpot replied breathily as he shakily rose to his feet. "It is because I know fear that I have survived the gauntlet of Aincrad thus far. It's those who reject fear and jump headlong into danger that wind up dead. I'm more careful. I take the proper steps, pursue the proper precautions, and prepare accordingly. I will never die, so long as I know fear."

"Wow. Reeeaaal inspirational there, buddy. I just have one question for ya." Fergus leaned forward, uncomfortably close to Jackpot. "What do you do when a god ain't happy with ya?"

Not happy with him. Was Hermes not happy with him?

"Have fun!"

And then Fergus shoved him inside.

"See? Nothing to worry about. Now stop being such a big baby and come on!" Fergus assured as he yanked Jackpot off of the ledge and into the unkown. Just as they had for Fergus, bits and pieces of a marble walkway floated up, and Jackpot found his footing. Despite the fact that things may have seemed safe, that didn't prevent the man from shivering and buckling. They were, after all, still suspended in midair, above nothing more than fluffy clouds. "What, you're still scared?"

"Sh-shut-t up a-and get us s-somewh-where solid. N-now!"

Fergus obliged, but nonetheless obliged Jackpot's request. He practically dragged the man along, through the empty plaza split by a solitary tree floating in a dish, and down one of the "streets" that connected to the square. It was one such structure that he led Jackpot inside, before finally releasing him. "We're here. Happy now?" 

Unironically, Jackpot fell to his knees and kissed the stable marble he'd found himself on. "Oh my god, I'll never take solid ground for granted ever again."

"Alright, that's enough lollygagging," Fergus interjected, grasping Jackpot's arm and yanking him forward. "We don't have all day to do this. Hermes wants to meet with ya, so Hermes is gonna meet with ya."

"B-but wait!"

"No 'buts.' Like I said, I gotta job to do."

"B-but Fergu-"

"What did I just say?"

"FERGUS, THERE'S NO GROUND THERE!"

Fergus stopped, then looked down. Indeed, they were at the edge of the marble platform that laid at the summit of the stairs. Nothing but thin air and clouds laid beyond. Fergus pitched his head backward with a mighty laugh, then looked to the violet-haired youth whose arm he still gripped.

"Not to worry, kiddo. Check this out."

As the satyr stepped forward, chunks of ivory floated up from the abyss below to meet with his cloven hooves. As he took another step, more marble floated to the surface, interlinking with the others and creating a makeshift path. 

When Jackpot didn't respond, a flash of guilt crossed Fergus' expression. "Alright, fine," he relented. "Look over there." As jackpot traced the creature's finger, he saw it. There, mingling with the stained-gold clouds that pervaded the realm, was the floating castle Aincrad in all its glory. Every struggle he'd endured, every adventure he'd gone on, every person he'd met, and every breath he'd taken since he dawned that god forsaken helmet had been there. Until now. "Pretty neat, huh? I mean, not for me. That's just a typical view for us. But for you, it might be kinda interesting."

"It really is," Jackpot replied, nearly breathless. He took it all back. The climb had been worth it. There was something so incredibly humbling about standing there, looking across, and seeing his entire world all in one place. Like a seed that had yet to sprout. Tiny. Insignificant. It was the sort of sight that put things into perspective.

Was there a way to stay here, rather than go back there?

The trip to the top was more long and arduous that Jackpot could have ever imagined. How was it that thousands of other players had already completed this quest? Had they all had to climb the steps, or was that privilege reserved only for those the satyr disliked? Perhaps he should have kept his mouth shut and silently followed Fergus through the portal. Then he may not have had to endure the gauntlet of marble steps.

But, eventually, finally, they reached the summit. Jackpot bent over and placed his hands on his knees, gasping for air as Fergus waddled past with no trouble at all. "You know what?" the goat man started. "You're kind of a wimp."

"Thank you... for noticing..." Jackpot shot back between labored breaths. "Not all of us walk a monolithic staircase every day."

"Oh, I don't do that every day. I just like making the assholes climb it. Hope it was as fun for you as it was for me.

I knew it.

"You lied to me," Jackpot said as he gazed upon the staircase. It stretched so far into the sky that he couldn't see it beyond the clouds that circled the top. 

"Me? Nahhh. I'm just not very good at counting, like I said." Fergus began climbing the steps. "You coming, or not? The only way back to Aincrad is by completing the quest."

Jackpot grumbled as he contemplated his options, before recognizing what the satyr had just said. "'Back to Aincrad.' So, wait, we're not on Aincrad anymore?"

"That's right, buddy. Once we get to the top, if you look over yonder, you'll be able to see it floating over there. We're in a completely different zone. Here, you're among the gods and other mythical creatures. All of the mortals in this realm are relegated to Aincrad to wallow about in its filth and monsters."

"That's a bit harsh. I didn't think it was that bad."

"Can't hear ya," Fergus replied, voice distant. "Too far up the steps you'll have to catch up if you want to chat some more."

As if he'd want to "chat" with such a grouch.

"Just right through here, then?"

"Yup, that's what I said."

"Does it hurt?"

"Oh my god. Portal's closing in ten seconds. Move your ass or forfeit the journey."

"But does it hurt?"

"No, it doesn't hurt."

"Phew. Thank god. That wasn't so hard, was it? You're not very good at answering questions."

Fergus merely chuckled in response. There was a very knowing grin that he wore as he leaned in closer to Jackpot, peering into the man's amber eyes before giving him a snide wink.

"Yeah. And I'm not very good at counting, either."

The satyr then placed a hand firmly on Jackpot's back and shoved him through the portal. He walked through the rift himself, and a moment later, it snapped shut, leaving behind the chaotic mess that was now the city square. The citizens there were still panicked, rushing back and forth to put out a fire that had apparently started. But that wasn't Jackpot's problem, now. He was on his way to the gods.

The goat man grumbled, then huffed, then turned around. A moment later, a portal snapped into existence. "Just walk through here, and it'll put you at the base of the stairs."

Stairs? Nobody had mentioned stairs.

"How, uh, how many stairs are there? I wasn't told there would be a hike."

"Whaaaat? Guy like you? Young, fit, lithe? Afraid of some stairs? You've gotta be kidding me."

"I'm not afraid. I'm just trying to gauge whether this journey is worth it, or if I should just turn back and go home now. Visiting with the gods sounds cool and all, but not if I've gotta climb a mountain to get to them."

"Well it is called Mount Olympus. Surely you knew that."

Touche, goat douche.

"You never answered my questions. How many stairs?"

"Only fifteen or so. It's not too much of a climb."

"Alright then. That doesn't sound too bad." Jackpot approached the portal, but stopped before entering. He pointed at it, then craned his head toward Fergus.

Okay. Perhaps this conversation had gone a bit too far. As much fun as Jackpot was having terrorizing the goat man, he didn't want to end up caged like an animal on display for mythical creatures to throw peanuts at. He'd rather be caged like a man. In the cave that made up his shop. Why was he here again?

"So are we gonna do this thing, or what?" Fergus impatiently asked, tapping his hoof noisily against the marble floor.

"I suppose," Jackpot sighed. "Better late than never."

"I ain't late, pal."

Oh. Right. Jackpot had gotten there early. From the looks of it, Fergus had arrived a tad early, too. It was a good thing that Jackpot hadn't shown up exactly on time, otherwise he may have missed the grand spectacle that followed the satyr's arrival.

"I suppose you're right." Another sigh. "So, what do we need to do? Do we need to join hands and do a dance? How are we getting there?"

"Kid. I don't know. I don't care. A quantum super computer processing the possibilities of twelve thousand realities at once wouldn't even come close to calculating the number of f*cks I do not give. I'm here to do a job, and what happens here is inconsequential to that." Now he was pink. No, red. A pinkish red. Frustrated, annoyed, and eager to get down to business. It was a mindset that Jackpot could appreciate, but he hadn't had his fill of fun just yet.

"Only twelve thousand realities? The helmet I'm wearing isn't even a super computer, and it's got me experiencing this castle like it's the real deal. Running nonstop for years, too. Have satyrs not cracked the technological code yet?"

"Oh. I get it. Another wise guy. I met a guy just like you once, and right now he's sitting in our zoo."

"He gave you sass, so you sent him to walk around your zoo? Doesn't sound like much of a punishment."

"No, you idiot. He's one of the exhibits."

"Look, it ain't my fault these guys never got used to me showing up. You'd think after the third or fourth time, maybe. But here I am, hundreds of iterations later, and they never learn. It ain't eve the first time something like this has happened," came the satyr's gruff response. "Name's Fergus."

"Interesting. So what would you estimate the total property damage you've wracked up throughout your career?" Jackpot inquired as he stood.

"Seriously? You'd expect me to know something like that? Look, man, I'm just a mythical creature with a clipboard. No need to get into the nitty gritty with me." The goat man was perturbed. Annoyed. He clearly didn't like his job.

"I'm just curious," Jackpot replied with feigned innocence. "Do they bill you? Or do they bill the gods? Who pays for it all? Or does it simply restructure itself after a timer has expired and the structures are cleared for a respawn?"

Just as he was starting to doze off, he heard it. The telltale swish and jingle of teleportation. He opened one eye just in time to witness mass hysteria. The sudden appearance of the satyr had startled a man carrying an over sized pot. The man skittered and stumbled before finally falling over, gracelessly tossing the clay container in a vain effort to avoid breaking it. It did, of course, right in front of the gait of a horse pulling a carriage of hay. The equine creature, now spooked, broke out into a gallop, throwing its owner off of the cart as it pitched to the side. The horse jaunted through the square, throwing bushels of hay to and fro, until the cart came to a halt against a giant pillar.

One might think it ended there. That would be wrong.

The pillar fell, and struck another, which fell and struck another. The domino effect continued until six pillars had fallen, and the elements that supported the awning of a nearby shop had disappeared. It crumbled to the ground, filling the entire plaza with a miasma of dust. NPCs and players alike hacked and gagged on the airborne concoction, while Jackpot merely shook his head at the clumsy creature who had started it all.

"Smooth."

Apparently, there was some sort of satyr that was supposed to spawn here and lead him to Mt. Olympia. That being said, Jackpot had been here for over and hour and hadn't seen any such creature. He was sure he'd shown up on time. He'd marked the date on his calendar, and woken up several hours early to ensure he wouldn't be late.

Wait a second.

That was the problem. He'd arrived early. A cursory glance at his HUD revealed that he was, indeed, ahead of schedule. Which was strange, because taming a mane like the head of hair he possessed was no easy feat. It must have taken him at least half an hour less than it usually would.

He conjured a vanity mirror and double checked the violet strands. No strays. It was in perfect condition. What sort of strange power had he tapped into that made such a feat possible?

Well, he'd arrived. Though he wished he hadn't.

There was always something that had put him off about the seventeenth floor. It seemed that everyone raved about the Greek architecture, the immersive atmosphere, the Colosseum, the beautiful marble and gold that accented every nook and cranny. But Jackpot? He didn't like it. Call him a pessimist, but he saw no reason to hold the space in such high regard. They didn't even have plumbing.

Though, the reason for this trip had been too good to refuse. A visit with the gods? That was something he had to see. Whether or not there was anything in it for him, it was a once in a lifetime experience, and he'd be foolish to forego it. 

It was unusual that he found himself in such a mindset. His time was better spent doing things that produced a tangible benefit for him. This time, it was only the memories he would carry away with him.

Gold?

He'd only been half listening, polishing an ornament that had no real value so that it could be made to look like it had value. Though a polished turd was still a turd, people liked things that had a shine - and Jackpot was no exception.

That could catch a sum.

One might think that he'd be more concerned about a woman being accosted by a strange man in his shop, but he was actually content to simply eavesdrop and see where the conversation led. Between her, him, and the stealthy goon who'd filed in silently behind them, it had been a strange day to begin with. When the going gets weird, the weird turn professional.

But why her? And why here?

He shifted to lean against a desk behind his counter, diligently rubbing the paint thinner-soaked cloth against a particularly stubborn smudge. He was aware enough not to let his amber eyes wander their direction, keeping the unfolding fiasco keenly in his peripherals. The concentrated, furrowed expression he wore must have certainly dissuaded the notion that he could possible be paying attention to them. Definitely.

It doesn't matter. Col is col.

Why did they not refer to 'gold' by the term 'col' in this world, anyways? Surely they were interchangeable. It certainly appeared so, on the surface. Though, he had to admit that saying, "There's a spear made of col!" didn't have the same ring to it. 

What the hell is this guy wearing?

A suit. In Aincrad. Who'd crafted such a gaudy outfit for the man? Surely it couldn't be a mob drop. The craftsmanship was fine, but the color scheme was all off, and it didn't fit properly. Must have been a hand-me-down.

Amateur, he concluded as he inspected the globe, issued an idle nod, then tenderly placed it on the shelf behind him. His work complete, he opened a drawer in the desk he'd been leaning against, deposited the rag, and closed it. His arms folded against his chest as he pitched his eyes toward the quarreling duo, casting aside his hesitation. If they were going to have a spat in a shop, they shouldn't be surprised to find the shop owner's eyes glued to them. 

Name: Skin-Hardening Loaf
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 127982
Identification Roll ID:
130897 | LD7 = MIT
Item Type: Snack
Tier: 1
Quality: Uncommon
Enhancements: MIT
Description: "Be careful with this one. Have too many, and your skin will stay like that."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r3-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=589325

Name: Antidote
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 127982
Identification Roll ID:
130898 | LD1 = Antidote
Item Type: Salve
Tier: 1
Quality: Uncommon
Enhancements: Antidote
Description: Antidote.
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r3-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=589325

Name: Mythic Jacket
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 129850
Identification Roll ID:
130899 | LD1 = Regen
130899 | LD13 = MIT
130899 | LD9 = Light Momentum
Item Type: Light Armor
Tier: 1
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: MIT | Regen | Light Momentum
Description: "A black leather jacket with red trim along the collar and sleeves."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r3-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=589325

Name: Stupid Axe 1
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 130350
Identification Roll ID:
130902 | LD10 = Bleed 
130903 | LD20 = ACC
Item Type: Two-Handed Battle Axe
Tier: 2
Quality: Rare
Enhancements: ACC | Bleed
Description: It's a stupid axe.
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r3-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=589325

Name: Stupid Axe 2
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 130350
Identification Roll ID:
130904 | LD16 = ACC
130905 | LD13 = Bleed 
Item Type: Two-Handed Battle Axe
Tier: 2
Quality: Rare
Enhancements: ACC | Bleed
Description: It's a stupid axe.
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r3-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=589325

Name: Chaos Eater
Your Profession: Merchant
Your Rank: 3
Acquisition Roll ID: 130350
Identification Roll ID:
130906 | LD19 = DMG or ACC
130907 | LD13 = Bleed or Paralyze
Item Type: Two-Handed Battle Axe
Tier: 2
Quality: Rare
Enhancements: ACC | Bleed
Description: "I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18214-f10-r3-merchant-youve-hit-the-jackpot/?do=findComment&comment=589325

Next, for something a tad trickier. Identification time. Why? Because he had an obligation. One that he had not realized the magnitude of when he had started down this road. One he didn't want anymore. But an obligation nonetheless. He would provide for the people of Aincrad a service that few did. For better or worse, he was their man.

Is that enough filler? Oh, keep going? Alright.

For he was a man of the people. Born to do it. It was his destiny. Nothing could stand between him and his unrelenting desire to give something back to the community that had shunned him for so long. Such was the way of the wriggling worm.

Right, that ought to be enough.

+ 42 EXP
 

Seemed that Jackpot had some work that had piled up. It would probably be a good thing if he did some of that. Probably. 

The first thing that seemed to make sense was processing the Junk Sales. He tallied everything up.

2 Rares from Koga. 300 to koga out of 400

22 Uncommons, and 9 Rares from Yukiro. 3000 to yukiro out of 4000

Perfect. That meant 4400 col to be sent from Cardinal itself. But how much would Jackpot get to keep for himself?

A measly 1100.

Curses. Looked like he wouldn't be making much money that way. But it was better than nothing.

+ 33 EXP

Jackpot had two things to send.

First, he sent a '19 Halloween Sticker to @Bahr
Next, he sent back the shield that @Dederick had let him borrow, Inferno Guardian. (Thorns | Thorns | Fireproof)

Name: Jack's Robes of Remorse
Item Type: Light Armor
Tier: N/A
Quality: Perfect
Enhancements: Flame Aura | EVA | Cursed
Description: "Into the abyss, thee shall go. A tale of sorrow than none shall know."
Post Link: http://www.sao-rpg.com/topic/18213-event-f1halloween-event-19-something-wicked-this-way-comes/?do=findComment&comment=587289

Quote

Come back to Jack's to get your rewards!

Huh. It sure was convenient that Jackpot was in the tent when he got the message, because he ventured a guess that he never would have had the balls to return to this hellhole for a second time. Since he was still around, though, might as well check out the goods.

What was that weapon? What a gross amalgamation of utter wrongness. That wouldn't do.

Heavy armor? Who actually wears that stuff willingly? It was heavy and clanky, and... unpleasant in virtually ever sense of the word. He could hardly bring himself to look at it, much less wear it.

Oh? Ohhh. What was that? What a sensible piece of light armor. Fashionable, lightweight, and with decent enhancements. "Yeah, I'll take this one. Oh, and I wanted to turn in these Achievement Points for a Halloween Sticker. And a Ghost Treat, too!" The clown behind the stand grumbled in response to Jackpot's enthusiasm, but nonetheless retrieved what he had requested and laid them out for Jackpot. Once he had stuffed them away in his inventory, he noticed the clown was still... staring at him. "Yeeaaahhh... Bye now."

What a creep.

"HP Restored (Self)" Achievement Point spent
"HP Restored in a Thread" Achievement Point spent
"Consumables Used" Achievement Point spent

Halloween Sticker acquired.
Jack's Robes of Remorse (Light Armor - Flame Aura | Evasion | Cursed) acquired.
Ghost Treat acquired.

THREAD COMPLETED

Thread net gains:
1050 col
(2) T1 Materials
(2) T1 Rare Trinkets [ID: 128637, ID: 129514]
(1) T1 Perfect Trinket [ID: 128635A]
(1) T1 Perfect Weapon [ID: 128635B]

Thread results:
Zombies Killed: 3
Zombies Last-Hitted: 3
Critical Failures: 0
Critical Evasions: 0
HP Restored (Self): 175 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!
HP Restored in a Thread: 175 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!
Comsumables Used: 37 ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

But then there was the matter of all of these consumables that he had bought for the event but never used. They were disgusting, but something told Jackpot that they would be useless the moment he left the tent. He had already spent the money on them, so why not have himself a gross feast of energy drinks, sub-par funnel cakes and cider? He opened up his inventory and materialized each and every last consumable he had bought during the event's duration. 

By the time he had finished, his stomach was protruding, he felt fat, lethargic, and had absolutely no desire to do much of anything. Nauseous, too. It seemed that the items didn't mix well in one's stomach. Which was odd, because Jackpot had always envisioned food items in Aincrad as being nothing more than data. Could they actually fill his stomach? He had never eaten enough in the past to find out.

With his work there done, he slowly picked himself up off of the floor, dusting the crumbs from his shirt, and slowly waddled his way over to the concession stand to collect his rewards.

SPIDER CIDER X13 CONSUMED.
OFFBRAND ENERGY DRINK X20 CONSUMED.
POPCORN CONSUMED.
 

Wait a second, was it four zombies or only three? Jackpot couldn't remember at this point. Not like it really mattered. He could see the headline now. "Noob salesman selflessly offers himself on the pedestal of danger to fight back the Zombie invasion." Yes. His eyes danced with enthusiasm as he thought about it, almost not taking notice when the foolish zombie came in for what would be its final attack.

All he had to do was hold up the shield. A blue light transferred from the sheen of its reflective surface and into the mob, and then it was over. It disintegrated into a cloud of blue polygonal fractals before his eyes, and a loot panel populated in front of him. Mediocre loot, it seemed. No matter. It was time to get out of here and let the experts deal with this mess. Jackpot had learned through this that he wasn't much a fan of shields, either, so he had plans to return the sheet of metal to Dederick and get on with his life as a meager salesman.