3ulogy

The cheese had been atrocious, like cold snot rolling down his throat. No doubt the old man was a terrible cook. But he’d seen the stat buff it gave him, and was willing to eat awful cheese for the bonus to his looting. The outskirts of town were a frantic mess. More people were out leafing through the gathering nodes, although Eulogy was perplexed at their presence. He knew he was one of the very first people out here. So how were there players now ahead of him? Focusing hard, he looking for a few of the gathering nodes further away. Most of the players were still being too safe. They ha

The old man’s shop was disgusting. Ancient shelves sagged with unidentifiable potions and salves. The whole place had an awful smell, like mold and chemicals and who knew what else. Eulogy gagged as a kindly old man appeared from the back of the shop. “Why hello there, my child. What are you here about?” Eulogy choked down his disgust. “Quest. Money. Do you owe the mayor money?” The man took a long moment to think, and it made Eulogy want to throttle the idiot. “Hmmm. I will need to look through my records. In the meantime, would you mind doing me a favor? I need some materials gathered.

Dorian was finally free. Eulogy barged forward and hammered the “accept” button before reading. The mayor droned on with some long, boring, convoluted tale about lending money and forgetting where he had given it to. Eulogy rolled his eyes, grateful he didn’t have to mask for the lifeless NPCs. He had no doubt that the last stop in the quest would be the person who actually owed the Mayor money. But the quest didn’t allow him to skip NPCs. It was going to make him follow the objectives, line by line. “I apologize for my forgetfulness. Why, just the other day I was leaving to go talk with

Eulogy approached Dorian. Two other players stood in line to talk with him while the third finished obtaining the quest. He couldn’t afford to wait behind these idiots. “Hey!” He started with a chipper tone. “What did you think about the lumberjack’s advice on this quest?” Of course there was no lumberjack, but who could resist confident words? The first player turned around in line with a quizzical look. “Lumberjack? There wasn’t a lumberjack listed in the quest log.” The man already looked anxious. He must be terrified of the game. What a fool. “Oh yea!” Eulogy brimmed with enthusi

Eulogy thought through his options at this point. He was relying on the fact that most the players would be too deep in shock to really get anything done. While they were still reeling from the exciting news, he would be three quests ahead. Checking his quest journal, he saw one clearly marked as a tutorial quest. It would be a childish introduction to gaming, but tutorial quests always gave disproportionate rewards to incentivize the duller players to engage with them. If the game wanted to talk down to him before it offered some good quest rewards, he’d take it. He looked around as he v

The looming avatar of Kayaba fragmented and dissolved in the sky above the 10,000. His words were met with a mixture of rage and confusion. The crowd’s unease slowly morphed from fear, to panic, then outright pandemonium. Screams and wails echoed out of the plaza, the crowd rippling with exertion as 10,000 people tried running in 10,000 directions. People were being crushed, they were crying, pleading, praying that someone would save them, or that maybe they had misheard the warden of their new prison— 3ulogy burst from the crowd on the first floor. There was no sign of fear or panic on h

Eulogy hated crowds. But he loved free stuff even more. Using his small frame to navigate the bustling crowds, he cut through the line to gyan chauper. The name felt pretentious. It was just snakes and ladders. All chance, no skill. His luck was good enough. Pressing his way to the front of the line, he managed to sweet talk a few of the people into trying out some of the nearby games. Snakes and ladders would be waiting for them later, after all. “Welcome! I’m Jai. This is—” “Don’t care.” Eulogy was already rolling. Move, rinse, repeat. He made as many moves as he could before Jai’s

Profile Username: 3ulogy ("Eulogy") Real name: Yoshiyuki Okubo Age: 16->18 Gender: Male Height: 164cm Country: Japan Background Eulogy was raised by video games. He understands them deeply—the rules, the goals, the conflict. People are complicated, people have feelings. But not video games. And not 3ulogy. His parents tried to raise him. But frankly, they weren’t very good at it. Eulogy’s mom was too weak-willed to impose any real punishme