Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 #1 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Spoiler LEVEL: 23 HP: 460 / ENERGY: 46 EVA: 3 / MIT: 23 / ACC: 2 / DMG: 9 HOME BUFFS » RESTED ➥ -1 EN FOR THE FIRST TWO TURNS OF COMBAT » RELAXED ➥ +5 TO OUT OF COMBAT HP REGENERATION ➥ FULL ENERGY REGENERATION AFTER TWO POSTS OUT OF COMBAT SKILLS COMBAT » DISGUISE [EXTRA SKILL] ➥ FREE ACTION ➥ COOLDOWN: 3 TURNS ➥ +1 EVA UNTIL START OF YOUR NEXT TURN WEAPON SKILLS » TWO-HANDED WEAPONS R5 ➥ +7 DMG WHEN TWO-HANDED WEAPON IS EQUIPPED ARMOR SKILLS » LIGHT ARMOR R1 ➥ +5 MIT WHEN LIGHT ARMOR IS EQUIPPED SWORD ARTS » [X2 AOE] BLAST ➥ 2 ENERGY +2 PER TARGET HIT CONSUMED ON USE » [X2] STRAIGHT ➥ 2 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X3] SCOOPED ➥ 3 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X4 STUN] LIGHTNING ➥ 7 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X4] CYCLONE ➥ 4 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X5] BACK RUSH ➥ 5 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X6 STUN] FIGHT BLADE ➥ 9 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X7] ASTRAL HELL ➥ 7 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X8 AOE STUN] TEMPEST ➥ 8 ENERGY +2 PER TARGET HIT CONSUMED ON USE » [X12] CALAMITOUS TRAGEDY ➥ 12 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X13] GALAXY DESTROYER ➥ 13 ENERGY CONSUMED ON USE » [X12 AOE] CALAMITY DISASTER ➥ 13 ENERGY +2 PER TARGET HIT CONSUMED ON USE INVENTORY ARMOR » [EQUIPPED] COAT OF THE BLOODEDGE ➥ +3 EVA » [EQUIPPED] TROUSERS OF THE BLOODEDGE ➥ +18 MIT ➥ RECOVERY 1 WEAPONS » [EQUIPPED] "MINOR OCULUS" - TWO-HANDED STRAIGHT SWORD (RARE) ➥ +1 DMG ➥ BLEED FAMILIAR » [EQUIPPED] SWINE BAJESUS R2 ➥ +2 ACC BATTLE READY ITEMS » T1 POTION OF UNCOMMON QUALITY (5) ➥ HEALS 40 HP (I will be using Mega Slime Farm for this thread | +2 SP) "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" A deep voice gruffly rang out through the area, along with the sound of pounding. Bahr had heard rumors of a gang of bandits roaming the plains of the third floor and had gone to investigate. Before he knew it, he had woken up in what appeared to be a dingy cell of some sort, his arms bound and his gear stolen. All he had covering his body now were tattered rags, a truly embarrassing and unflattering sight. He was only glad that nobody he knew was around to see this. He was currently pounding his arms against the floor, half due to frustration, half in an attempt to loosen the cloth around his wrists just enough to wrestle his arms free. At long last, he was successful. The bindings loosened and he hastily removed them, flexing his arms and wriggling his fingers around to get circulation back into them. Man, had these bandits chosen the wrong guy to imprison. Gear or no gear, he was going to slaughter every last one of them on his way out of here. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #2 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Looking around the cell for clues, Bahr noticed that the iron gate that was containing him seemed to be a bit rusted and tattered. With a few good tackles, he wagered it would bust right open. He took a few moments to clear a path in the debris that littered the floor of the cell, not wanting any irritants to catch on his bare feet and slow his approach. When he felt satisfied, he put his back against the side of the call furthest from the gate, bending his knees and leaning forward. He then dashed forward, accumulating as much speed as he physically could and shoulder checked the gate with all his might. Dust and fragments of rust fell to the floor as he fell back ungraciously onto his rump, pounding the floor once more in frustration. "When I get out of here, I'm going to murder all of you! You hear me!?" he called our angrily, his voice echoing through the halls of the facility. There was no response, but Bahr was fairly sure they got the message. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #3 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Bahr rose to his feet, kicking some debris in frustration which skittered across the floor and clanked against the wall of the far side of the cell. He once again returned to his position, back turned from the wall, knees bent and leaning forward. He broke out into another dead sprint, ramming the gate with everything he had. He fell down once more, grimacing from the sharp pain he felt in his shoulder. Pain? No, it was more of a tingle. He had only been anticipating pain. This time, it appeared that the gate had moved a small bit from its original position, and more dust and rust had been shaken off of its debilitated hinges. The fools. Did they really expect a weak cage like this to hold anybody? He had fought his way out of paper bags that were more difficult than this. Well, not really, but that was what he was telling himself to keep his spirits high. In reality, the gate was very tough, but the erosion to its material had left it vulnerable. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #4 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 He rose to his feet once more, returning to his position on the wall. Back against it, knees bent, leaning forward. He felt like he was practicing for a track meet, one of his skills during his high school years in the real world. If only those same abilities contributed to the game's engine. He dashed forward, sprinting as hard as he could and gaining as much speed as possible. He clashed with the gate and fell to the floor again, but this it creaked loudly in response and he could really see the damage. The top hing had come off completely, dumping dusty sand to the floor again. Bahr grinned as he viewed the damage he had created, knowing that one more good hit would do it. "I'm coming for you, you bastards! You're all dead!" he shouted, still receiving no response. He didn't care if they came, he wanted them to. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #5 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 One more time. One more time was all it was going to take. Bahr reminded himself of that as he scooped himself off of the floor, returning to his position against the wall adjacent to it. Back against the all, knees bent, leaned forward. With some huffing to hype himself up he ran forward into a dead on sprint, somehow accumulating even more speed than he had before. He yelled our furiously as he collided with the iron gate, the remaining connections breaking and giving way to his force. The gate was flung to the wall on the opposite side of the hallway the resulting clang of its impact and the following clattering of the metal falling to the floor undoubtedly alerting the guards. Good. The edges of Bahr's lips curled upward into a smile as he marveled over the destruction he had wrought. And he was going to do so much more before he was finished. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #6 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 As his eyes flickered around for anything to use as a weapon, they fell upon a nearby wooden box. He dashed over to it and cranked it open, completely taken aback by what he found within. It was his equipment! All of it was there, from his armor to his weapon. Oh, joyous day. These idiots were so confident in the integrity of their rickety cage that they had left the instruments Bahr would use to destroy them right outside the cell. This wasn't confidence, this was imbecility. He actually cackled after he realized what he was looking at, knowing the denizens of the facility were in for a hell of a night. He hastily snatched up the gear and equipped all of it. Within an instant, he could feel his power returning. Yes, he felt good as new. And angry. Oh, so very angry. He was filled with a rage so palpable he almost didn't know what to do with it. He guessed he would just need to crack some skulls until he felt better. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #7 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 He was so angry, in fact, that he didn't even attempt to flee the scene of his escape. He simply closed the wooden box and sat on top of it, waiting for his captors to come and find him. He was positive he would run into countless bandits on his way out of the facility, so why not start here? Running wouldn't help him avoid combat, not that he wanted to anyways. Yes, he would simply wait for them to show up and then slaughter them. Every last one of them. While he waited, he found himself really disappointed with the response time. They should have been there already. If Bahr were holding someone captive and heard them break out, he would have shown up within the first sixty seconds to apprehend them. Then again, he also would have made sure they were contained in something more sturdy. He couldn't be too hard on them, though. They were just computer generated bandits. It wasn't like they had the best resources at their disposal. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #8 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 (edited) After what seemed like forever, two Bandit Guards rounded the corner. They would find Bahr sitting lazily with one foot on the box, elbow planted against his knee with his hand on his cheek to keep his head propped up. The other hand held the hilt of his sword loosely, spinning it in circles on the tip of the blade which was touching the floor. He craned his head to the side to get a look at them, rolling his eyes and standing up. "I was wondering when you guys would show up. I've been waiting for-" "Back in your cell, prisoner, or we'll be forced to kill you!" one of the bandits interjected. Strange. Bahr had never been interrupted by an NPC before. His hair fell in front of his eyes as he gripped the hilt of his weapon tightly, a wicked grin stretching across his face. "That's where you're wrong." In a flash, he was in front of the guards, his sword ripping through both of them in one clean motion and splitting them in half at the torso. They instantly erupted into explosions of pixels. Spoiler Encounter: Bandit Guard 1 HP: 30 DMG: 30 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 20 Encounter: Bandit Guard 2 HP: 30 DMG: 30 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 20 Spoiler Bahr HP: 460/460 | EN: 46-11=35 DMG: 9 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 23 Bahr used [x8 AoE Stun] Tempest, -8 EN Bandit Guard 1: HP: 30-52=0/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119922 | BD: 7+2-2=7, Hit for 9x8=72-20=52 DMG | Bandit Guard 1 defeated | -2 EN Bandit Guard 2: HP: 30-52=0/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119923 | BD: 8+2-2=8, Hit for 9x8=72-20=52 DMG | Bandit Guard 2 defeated | -2 EN HOUSE BUFF REDUCES ENERGY COST BY 1 -11 ENERGY TOTAL Edited July 25, 2019 by Bahr Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #9 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 "Damn, that felt good!" Bahr exclaimed, still surrounded by their blue pixelated remains. "Totally worth the wait." Not having any real reason to wait any longer, he departed from the scene of his escape and started to meander through the hallways, exploring the facility. From what he had seen so far, basically all of it was as drab and uninspiring as his cell. Cobblestone walls, floors, and ceilings, through and through. It was likely that he was currently underground, but he couldn't be too far underground considering he had spotted moonlight leaking through a hole in the ceiling of his cell earlier. If he could just find a staircase leading upward, he might be able to find a real exit and get out of here. He opened up his menu and navigated to the map, finding that there was no map data available. "Well isn't that just cheeky..." he muttered, dismissing the window. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #10 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 As he continued to search through the halls, he tried making a mental map of the area for himself. He wasn't having much luck. He had always thought his spatial awareness was above average, but this little exercise was quickly eroding that opinion of himself. It was difficult when everything looked the same, all corridors mirrors of the others. It ws definitely an aspect of the quest that was designed to make things more challenging. If by challenging, one meant unnecessarily prolonging the time required to complete the task to artificially inflate the sense of difficulty. With a sigh, he resorted to the only method he truly trusted; hugged the left side of the wall until it led somewhere. He had used this very same technique a few quests ago, when searching for the Hoya of Minos. He retrieved the amulet from within his jacket, observing the pitch-black stone it had morphed into. Fitting. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #11 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 (edited) As he rounded one of the corners, he literally bumped into another guard. They both fell to the ground and promptly scrambled to their feet. As Bahr rose, he charged his sword and swung it flippantly without bothering to examine just where the attack would land. It managed to carve up one of the bandits, which exploded in a puff of blue pixels instantly. The other, however, managed to evade the strike, falling back for a moment before lunging forward to avenge his fallen comrade. He thrust his spear toward Bahr, catching the flat side of his sword and forcing him back. "Don't make the mistake of thinking you can take me! I'll disintegrate you with a single blow! They'll need a dustpan to carry you out of here!" Bahr taunted angrily, narrowing his eyes and staring daggers into the Bandit Guard. It merely readied its weapon for the next round of attacks. Spoiler Encounter: Bandit Guard 3 HP: 30 DMG: 30 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 20 Encounter: Bandit Guard 4 HP: 30 DMG: 30 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 20 Spoiler Bahr HP: 460/460 | EN: 46-9=37 DMG: 9 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 23 Bahr used [x8 AoE Stun] Tempest, -8 EN Bandit Guard 3: HP: 30/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119924 | BD: 5+2-2=5, Miss | MD: 1, Miss Bandit Guard 4: HP: 30-52=0/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119925 | BD: 6+2-2=6, Hit for 9x8=72-20=52 DMG | Bandit Guard 4 defeated | -2 EN HOUSE BUFF REDUCES ENERGY COST BY 1 -9 ENERGY TOTAL Edited July 25, 2019 by Bahr Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #12 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 (edited) "Have it your way, then!" Bahr exclaimed with a grin on his face, leaping forward and charging his blade. Before the Bandit Guard had time to react, Bahr unleashed a harrowing succession of slashes intermixed with thrusts from the hilt of his sword. The attacks all connected without so much as a hint of resistance, the bandit's cries of agony cut short as it burst into a cloud of blue pixels that dissipated shortly thereafter. "Amateur," he remarked, swiping his sword through the air to a stiff stop as though shaking off any would-be blood caught on the blade and sheathing it against the small of his back. With that over, he was once again free to hug the left wall and continue on. Only... which wall was it that he had been clinging to before? He recounted the steps that had led him here. Ah, yes, he had bumped into them after rounding that corner. Spoiler Bahr HP: 460/460 | EN: 37+2-7=32 DMG: 9 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 23 CD: 10 (+1 Energy regeneration) Bahr used [x7] Astral Hell, -7 EN Bandit Guard 3: HP: 30-43=0/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119926 | BD: 8+2-2=8, Hit for 9x7=63-20=43 DMG | Bandit Guard 3 defeated Edited July 25, 2019 by Bahr Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #13 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 What a dreadful experience. Wake up in a cell with no idea how you got there. Be forced to break out because the thing is practically in shambles. Put your gear back on because the idiots who captured you somehow thought you wouldn't escape. Wait for them to show up only to discover they're practically made of glass and will die if you so much as breathe on them. Encounter said glass minions every fifteen minutes or so until you find the exit. Way to freaking go, Kayaba. We salute your overwhelming intellect and natural knack for designing fun and engaging quests. And to think, he designed the game to be a death trap. He probably thought this would be so cool! Getting caught by bandits and having to fight your way out! Wowza! It was almost like the dude was an out of touch middle-aged man with virtually no affinity toward his consumers. It was almost as if he had trapped everyone in the game because he knew they would grow bored of it after the first twenty levels. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #14 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Come to think of it, that was all this was, wasn't it!? He hadn't trapped them in here for the novelty of death having real consequences. The quests were too easy for that! Hell, he had defeated Cerberus in a single hit, and now these bandits fell before him with ease. And the recommended level was higher than Bahr's current level! Absolutely laughable. No, he had trapped everyone in the game because he actually wanted people to play it, and knew that a lot of players would lose interest once they realized how monotonous and disengaging the quests were. Or perhaps that was just Bahr. He had played countless MMOs in his time, and even after he got bored with them, he still kept playing. Sometimes for years. That didn't stop him from being a critic, though. It wasn't that he had any particular qualifications that made him a fitting critic for MMOs, it was just a natural inclination he had developed through the years of grinding through them. At the very least, being in the game made things more interesting to a certain degree. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #15 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 (edited) At long last, a staircase! Bahr was elated when he laid eyes upon it. He sprinted toward the staircase and ran up the stairs as quickly as he could, skipping every other step until he reached the next floor. Sitting at a table not far from the stairs were another pair of Bandit Guards. They were just sitting there! Not even searching for the escaped prisoner! Bahr was trying not to take it personally, but it was a little hard not to. Were they taking him seriously at all? He was the Bloodedge! He was once feared by new players! Did these more sophisticated AIs still not know of him? As the pair of NPCs scrambled to their feet, Bahr dashed forward with his sword charged. He unleashed a single, mighty strike, chopping both of them in half and causing them to combust into clouds of blue pixels instantly. "Don't bother getting up." Spoiler Encounter: Bandit Guard 5 HP: 30 DMG: 30 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 20 Encounter: Bandit Guard 6 HP: 30 DMG: 30 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 20 Spoiler Bahr HP: 460/460 | EN: 46-12=34 DMG: 9 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 23 Bahr used [x8 AoE Stun] Tempest, -8 EN Bandit Guard 5: HP: 30-52=0/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119927 | BD: 7+2-2=7, Hit for 9x8=72-20=52 DMG | Bandit Guard 5 defeated | -2 EN Bandit Guard 6: HP: 30-60=0/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119928 | BD: 9, Crit for 10x8=80-20=60 DMG | Bandit Guard 6 defeated | -2 EN -12 ENERGY TOTAL Spoiler Searching for Bandit Compound exit ID: 119929 LD: 7 Failed to find exit. Edited July 25, 2019 by Bahr Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #16 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 As Bahr looked around the room, he found it to be surprisingly tame in nature. It looked like how you might expect someone's house to look. Wooden floors and walls, with candlelight providing a mellow and soothing ambiance. There was a table, where the bandits had just been sitting playing cards from the looks of it. There was a basic kitchen, with pots and pans hanging from metal fixtures. It smelled like they had cooked something recently, likely slightly burnt given the slightly bitter tinge in the air. There was a den with a couch placed in front of a fireplace, a bear pelt laying on the floor between them to serve as a rug of sorts. Leading out of the den was a door, which had a... A door! Bahr nearly tripped as he ran over to it, praying that it led to the outside. He grasped it, twisted the handle, shoved the door open and... Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #17 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Curses. More cobblestone corridors. The relaxing living quarters had been nothing more than a ruse. Bahr pounded his fist against the wall, prompting an <Immortal Object> notification to populate. It looked like it was back to square one. He muttered curses to himself as he shambled through the halls, not at all amused by the trap the game had set for him. Him! The Bloodedge! Why, Cardinal was making a mere mockery of him. Captured by bandits! The thought! How could any bandit be so powerful and cunning as to trap the almighty Bahr!? It was inconceivable. Except it had happened, and now Bahr found himself in this mess. How irritating. He had been doing so well in the game, slaying beasts mightier than he ever dreamed, only to have some unruly bandit come along and clock him across the head. It was like someone outrunning the Flash, or overpowering Superman, or outwitting Batman. Completely unthinkable and wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #18 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 (edited) It was a good thing that Bahr was already angry, because here came two unwilling mobs to play into his rage. Well, unwilling wasn't the right word. Unwitting, yes, that was the one. Unwitting. Either they had no idea of his power, or were merely stupid enough to think they could fare better. "Stop right there, prisoner! Or we'll be forced to ki-" This time, Bahr was the one doing the interrupting. He charged his sword and dashed forward, slicing right through the mouth of the big talker before he could finish his sentence. The attack carried over through his partner, and both blew up into clouds of blue pixels instantly. Strange. That hadn't helped Bahr feel better at all. If anything, he was more annoyed. While killing the first bandits had been entertaining, it just felt tedious at this point. Was he going to have to continue fighting these things on a timer until he found the exit? Spoiler Encounter: Bandit Guard 7 HP: 30 DMG: 30 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 20 Encounter: Bandit Guard 8 HP: 30 DMG: 30 | ACC: 1 | EVA: 2 | MIT: 20 Spoiler Bahr HP: 460/460 | EN: 46-12=34 DMG: 9 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 23 Bahr used [x8 AoE Stun] Tempest, -8 EN Bandit Guard 7: HP: 30-52=0/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119930 | BD: 7+2-2=7, Hit for 9x8=72-20=52 DMG | Bandit Guard 7 defeated | -2 EN Bandit Guard 8: HP: 30-52=0/30 | DMG: 30 | ID: 119931 | BD: 6+2-2=6, Hit for 9x8=72-20=52 DMG | Bandit Guard 8 defeated | -2 EN -12 ENERGY TOTAL Spoiler Searching for Bandit Compound exit ID: 119932 LD: 13 Failed to find exit. Edited July 25, 2019 by Bahr Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #19 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 Seriously, Kayaba. Good going. You really know how to make a good quest. Yep, just keep the player going through a, presumably, procedurally generated maze and fight an endless horde of bad guys until you were lucky enough to find the exit. That was top notch game design right there. Wait, was finding the exit based on luck? Of course! It was based on luck! Bahr felt foolish for having assumed any differently. Of course it was based on luck. He opened up his menu and navigated to the equipment panel, swapping out his armored trousers for vanity ones. He then swapped out his vanity gloves for the Gloves of Caerus - a luck enhancing piece of equipment that had helped him out countless times in recent memory. Yes, with this he was sure to find his way out of this endless maze. Or so he hoped. He wasn't sure how much longer his patience - and sanity - would hold out. TROUSERS OF THE BLOODEDGE (+18 MIT | RECOVERY 1) REMOVED FROM EQUIPPED AND SWAPPED FOR VANITY TROUSERS VANITY GLOVES REMOVED FROM EQUIPPED AND SWAPPED FOR GLOVES OF CAERUS (+3 LD) Spoiler Bahr HP: 460/460 | EN: 46 DMG: 9 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 3 | MIT: 5 LD Bonus: +3 Link to post Share on other sites
Bahr 0 Posted July 25, 2019 Author #20 Report Share Posted July 25, 2019 It was a risky gamble, removing combat gear for something like a luck enhancing item. Especially considering he was being forced to fight NPCs every ten minutes or so. But it was necessary. It didn't matter how many mobs he slayed if he continued to run around like a rat trapped in a maze for the rest of eternity. He only hoped that his modest luck boost would be enough to deliver him out of this hellhole. He continued along, no longer even bothering to hug a wall. He had determined that the maze of cobblestone was absolutely procedurally generated. He even went back to the den he had come from, and found that it was now just a hallway leading to more of the same. A perpetual trap with luck being the only way out. Seriously, Kayaba, good going. Only a madman such as him could dream up such a revolting twist of fate. Link to post Share on other sites
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