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[PP-04] <<Absolute Zero>> w/ Oscar


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"What was the boy's name!?" Bahr blurted out gracelessly, suddenly leaning forward in his seat and staring intently into Oscar's eyes. He didn't want to give the man false hope, but Bahr had been through almost this exact same scenario. If there was even a modicum of a chance that this kid lived, Oscar had to know. He needed it. That much was painfully evident.

An uneasy silence settled into White Rabbit. Bahr's sudden outburst had drawn the attention of everyone in the parlor. Alexander stood next the party uncomfortably, slowly lowering a tray of cookies onto the coffee table, along with both Cordelia's and Bahr's coffees. Bahr's steadfast gaze remained unwavering, affixed to Oscar's like a stray insect against flypaper. Sensing the tension, Alexander quietly excused himself, motioning dismissively with his hands to the other patrons of the tavern to mind their business and return to what they were doing. Slowly but surely, the calm noise of the bar filled the room yet again. 

Bahr was completely torn. He recognized that now wasn't the time to share his own origin story for this cruel and twisted world. But he saw no other way to convey his understanding of the situation. With a sigh, he slowly settled back into his seat, resolving to give the condensed version as to not steal the spotlight. 

"Look, what I'm about to say is in no way meant to detract from you or what you're feeling, because you are the focus here. I don't want you to feel like, if you should choose to open up around me again in the future, I'm going to use it as an excuse to talk about myself," he began, nervously eyeing the pair. Just spit it out. The longer you draw this out, the worse it looks. "I went through almost an identical situation to this one. That nickname you've used for me before, 'Bloodedge.' I got it because I killed my best friend, right before the GM announcement on launch day." He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and barreled ahead. "I went for years thinking that I had killed him, and that was that. It gutted me over and over again. Just when I thought I'd hit rock bottom, I'd fall through the floor of that hole into an even deeper one. So believe me when I tell you that I know exactly how you are feeling."

A beat of silence as Bahr felt the beads of sweat rolling down the side of his head. Was this a good idea? Giving the man what may have turned out of be false hope? Bahr recalled that he hadn't taken his trip to the Monument well after he saw that blip on Zayne's location data.

«Zayne»
Killed by a goblin.

Just imagining seeing those words set his teeth on edge. He remembered the first time he saw it, and the puddle of uselessness he became soon after. The realization that Zayne hadn't actually been dead all that time was an impossible pill to swallow. There were still days when Bahr had to remind himself that Zayne's death wasn't his fault, because he had just conditioned himself to accept this reality for so many years. But when Bahr had been at his absolute lowest, a complete strange had been there to illuminate the path back. If someone who had never even met Bahr before that moment could do it, then certainly Cordelia and Bahr could do it, as well.

"It turns out he wasn't dead. I haven't put all of the pieces together yet, but my best guess is that there was a loophole on launch day that prevented real death until the GM announcement was made. Have you visited the Monument of Life yet? If not, I think we should really go take a look. Cordelia and I will be with you to catch you if you fall."

His eyes shifted to Cordelia, and he gave her a stern nod. They may have been at odds with one another, but Bahr wasn't about to let that get in the way of supporting his friend - and hopefully, she wouldn't either. 

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"Hey, hey, hey. . ." Cordelia said, her voice barely above a whisper as she rose from her seat, only to pause.

What was she trying to do? Cheer him up? How the hell was she going to do that? She didn't even feel like she could sympathize with him. For the last two years, she had been keeping low and distanced herself from people. No, it wasn't because she had a tragic backstory like Bahr or Oscar. No, it wasn't because she was mad that she was stuck inside a video game. . . she just. . . didn't like being around people. People always felt like a huge burden to her, weight that was always going to slow her down no matter how strong they were. . . and now?

She didn't even know how she felt anymore.

At the same time, she felt sick to her stomach. What had she been doing while people like Oscar and Bahr were slowly suffering inside? She almost found it to be repulsive now. How had she been so cold to everyone. . ?

Her eyes locked on Bahr's before she turned to Oscar.

"Oscar, listen to me," she said softly, her hand reaching out to grip his tightly. "You are not to blame for anything, you hear me? Not for the Avalanche, and certainly not for that kid's death, okay?" She asked, her eyes boring into his as her grip on his hand slightly tightened even more. 

"I'm the one who put us in danger, not you. You and I both know that I would've charged headfirst into that quest even if I knew its stats and even if you tried to warn me," she sighed, her eyes holding an unreadable expression before she crouched down to get eye-level with him.

"You aren't supposed to be anything, okay?" She murmured, smiling at him softly. "You aren't obligated to me this responsible one or this voice of reason, okay?"

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"Have you visited the Monument of Life yet? If not, I think we should really go take a look. Cordelia and I will be with you to catch you if you fall."

Oscar had made a point to avoid the Monument for all of these years. He didn't really know if his heart would be able to bear it if he saw Tyson's name up on the Monument like that. But with Bahr and Cordelia so concerned over him, how could he not? He probably wouldn't have even dared to visit the Monument if not for Bahr pushing him. At worst, the Monument would confirm what he already knew. At best... Well, did Oscar dare hope for the best? He knew what he saw, but the brain was tricky like that. If you tell yourself something enough, the brain actually changed your memories to fit that narrative. Could he have simply remembered everything wrong? All this pain and hurt over a false memory. Despite everything, Oscar could see the faintest glimmer of hope. Even though he expected it all to be dashed once he visited the Monument. But that tiny spark was enough.

"Alright, let's go then."

He shot up from his seat and made a beeline for the door. He didn't care if Bahr and Cordelia followed him, but even as he half-jogged towards the Teleportation Platform, there they were. Following just behind him. Ready to catch him. It was comforting, if not a little weird. It definitely wasn't something we was used to. At least, not from friends. Back in the real world, Oscar always kept his friends at arm's length. They would get together, have fun, and enjoy each other's company, sure. But he never really let them in. Perhaps there was something about the ever-looming threat of death that had Oscar throwing caution to the wind. But there was always the fear that if he broke down and the people around him saw the truth of his existence that they simply wouldn't want to be around him anymore. He couldn't really fault them. Who wants to hang around someone who would just drag them down with them?

Dude. What the hell is your problem?

The voice was stern, if not a little put-out. The one thing Oscar hated more than anything was wallowing in grief. It was like lying down in a mud pit. It just felt dirty. Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to shake off the chains, but it wasn't that easy. This wasn't a burden he could simply shed at the drop of a hat. He'd tried that. It simply didn't work. But the voice was right. It caused him to remind himself that everyone, no matter what, needed a little help sometimes. He wasn't above that. As they stepped onto the Platform, Oscar took a steadying breath. He felt the need to say something. But, in the end, he decided no words needed to be spoken. At least not yet. He dialed in the location and, in a brilliant flash of light, the three of them were gone.

TRANSITION TO FLOOR 1

The Monument of Life wasn't very far from the main plaza, but it was just out of the way enough for Oscar to make a point to avoid it as he conducted his business around town. He was surprised that Bahr and Cordelia were still following him. But they had promised to be there for him in case this all went horribly wrong. He definitely appreciated them for that. It gave him the confidence he needed to push forward. One way or another, he would start the healing process today. Whether Tyson was still alive for not. His nerve, though strained, didn't waver. There was a flutter of doubt as he entered the Black Iron Palace and strode towards the Monument, but he forced that down. Stepping close enough to inspect the list, Oscar noticed that it was arranged in alphabetical order. Names of the fallen were crossed out, the time and nature of their death added. This made finding Tyson's name much easier.

Karst had been his screen-name. His eyes flicked to the K's. There it was. Karst. But it hadn't yet been crossed out. There was no cause of death. He blinked incredulously. He didn't know what to feel right now. On the one hand, Tyson was alive. But on the other hand, Oscar had abandoned his protege. What was the boy doing now that he was on his own? Oscar had never added him to his Friend List. They hadn't established a preset meeting place if ever they got separated. But despite that, Oscar was resolved to find the boy. If only to apologize for abandoning him. His eyes scanned the list a little further down. The bittersweet feeling of relief was struck cold he noticed another name on the wall, crossed off with a cause of death.

"Bahr. Look."

He pointed to a name on the wall. A name that the two of them would be quite familiar with. The name of a person Bahr had asked him to find just a few days prior. Well, the search was over, at least. Here she was. The name, struck through on the wall was:

<<Kirbs>>
Player-Killed by Pinball

@Bahr@Cordelia

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When they entered the chamber in which the Monument of Life was housed, Bahr felt drenched with grief. Though he had been eager to help Oscar, he hadn't quite anticipated the effect this place would have on him. His last visit had been an interesting one. Looking back on it, it all seemed like such a blur. Seeing Zayne's name. Seeing his cause of death. You could have plunged a claymore into his chest, and it still would have felt better than that entire experience. Still, there had been a silver lining. That was the only thing keeping Bahr at ease.

When they approached the massive slab, Bahr remained silent so that Oscar could search for the boy's name. His eyes were affixed to the 'Z' section. 

«Zayne»
Killed by a goblin.

The text had been branded into his mind's eye since his first visit. When he had learned the truth. When he had been forced to come to grips with the true nature of his reality. And it had broken him down. No longer did he have the zeal for reaching the Frontlines that he once had. No longer did he feel the same compulsion to throw himself into endless waves of mobs just to distract himself from the pain. Or, at least, not to the extent that he had before. 

Seeing them now, in person, was a surreal endeavor. They looked exactly as he had pictured them during those long nights alone, when sleep couldn't find him. Waves of nausea crashed against him like high tide against a rocky shore, slowly eroding the jagged callousness into something smoother; something with less tooth, softer, more vulnerable. Bahr wondered how long he could allow a situation like this to eat away at him before he, too, had no bite left. 

"Bahr. Look."

Eager to avert his eyes from the name they were glued to, Bahr allowed them to flicker to where Oscar's fingertip rested against the glossy stone.

«Kirbs»
Player-Killed by Pinball.

At first, he blinked. Then furrowed his brow, set his jaw, and did everything he could to hold back the storm clouds forming in his eyes.

They say that the first stage of grief is denial. Next came anger. After that, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Right now, Bahr only had use for one; anger. He felt the same white-hot hatred he had felt for that man the last time they had encountered one another. When he had run his spear through Oscar and Bahr and inexplicably left before finishing the job. Bahr had felt utterly worthless during that fight, and he felt equally so now. He had been able to save Kit from Kirbs, so why hadn't he been able to save Kirbs from this? From him? 

The final words that Bahr had delivered to Kirbs ran on replay through his head.

"You're no better than Pinball."

"I'm leaving," he announced abruptly, turning briskly on the balls of his feet and immediately taking steps toward the exit. Whether or not the others followed was of no consequence. Bahr was going to find Pinball. And when he did, he was going to put him down. Just as the Frontliners had stripped Ssendom of his mortality when he became the Berserker of Aincrad, so too did Pinball need to be put to an end. Enough was enough. How many times had he seen Pinball's name on that damn monument? Player-Killed by Pinball. Player-Killed by Pinball. Player-Killed by Pinball. His name was all over it like cheap graffiti. He had vowed to take on this scourge when he felt ready, but there was no time left. It needed to be put to an end. Tonight.

Bahr hardly even knew where he was going. His feet carried him along as if they had a mind of their own. Through the Town of Beginnings. Out of the gate. Into the field.

By the time he had arrived, the sky had been painted scarlet. Roiling storm clouds brewed in the distance, overtaking the rays of sunlight that had illuminated the rolling plains with a tangerine glow. All that was left was the impending darkness and the streaks of red that muscled their way between the slits in the clouds. The desire to fight, the desire to kill that Bahr thought he had left behind had returned. Scorching his soul like a whirling inferno and charring it black. In that moment, there was nothing else. No happiness, no hope, no future. Only the searing pain of another friendship lost, and the overwhelming determination to avenge it. 

He came to a stop at a crossroads. To virtually anyone else, it would have held no significance. But to Bahr, it was one of the most important places in Aincrad. As the memories began flooding in, he saw figures shifting in his peripherals. Afterimages, ghosts. Haunting him with their invasive presence. He saw himself, Kit, and Kirbs, coming to a rest at this very place on his very first outing. Right there, in the patch of grass, they had caught Pinball napping. Not a care in the world, undisturbed by the mobs of the floor who knew better than to mess with an entity that could erase them with a haphazard sneeze. Bahr still remembered the first time he and Pinball had locked eyes. Electricity had coursed through his veins in a violent jolt, and Bahr immediately knew that their fates would be intertwined. He had just never imagined it would be like this.

"You going for the Dragon Hatchling? Would probably be easier if we teamed up, right?"

"Err... Sure, let's team up. The name's Kityuisa. Ummm... Here, make me party leader!"

"Oh. Uh, sure. Here you go."


"Hello there! What are fair people like you doing on a nice day like this?"

"We're actually going to go take on this Dragon Hatchling quest I heard about. If you would like to join, I would love more people."

"Are you guys sure you want to do this quest? It's a pretty hard quest to-"

"Hello sir, the name's Kityuisa. I have erm, these two..."

"I don't suggest you talk to him that much."

"Due to you appearing to not care, my mind wanders to how powerful you are. Now then, there would definitely be something in it for you, whether it not be now, but in the future. I don't care if you don't want to join, I want you to. I will owe you a favor.. I mean currently.. I don't have that much, but I am a performer and I could offer my services to you... That is.. if you really are as you appear. I can see that you are orange, so that must mean something... Whether or not you join our party, we are still fighting the Dragon Hatchling. So it really is up to you. If you're in let me know, if not I will march forward to our potential demise."

"Jeez, listen to you gush at this guy. It really look like he's interested? Let's get a move on."

"I agree with whats-his-face here. Let's get out of here before anything bad happens."

...

"You from the Frontlines? Tell me something. Is it as bad there as it is here?"

"Used to be. But I try t' stay away from that sort of thing, now."

"They're barely human."


They had been so small and insignificant back then. In over their heads. Weak. Unable to comprehend the reality of the hell they would all experience. Back then, Bahr had given Pinball the benefit of the doubt. He could have had an orange cursor for any number of reasons, he had rationalized. He still could have been a good person. But he should have known better. Aincrad was a place that changed people, and often for the worse. Pinball was an example. Kirbs was an example. Kit was an example. Bahr was an example.

Rain began to fall, only a few droplets at first. Then a drizzle. Then a downpour. As the invasive imagery faded, Bahr saw the patch of grass, dimly lit by what remaining shreds of light permeated the expanse. It was empty. A part of Bahr had really hoped he would find Pinball here, lazing in the same manner as when they had found him back then. He'd pictured himself running his blade through the scoundrel and skewering him into the earth in that very spot, twisting the blade until his health bar depleted, the light left his eyes, and he scattered. Unfortunately, he was nowhere in sight. Disappeared, just like Kit and Kirbs. Overcome by the frustration that had been welling up inside him, Bahr finally pitched his face to the heavens.

"Pinball!" he bellowed desperately at the top of his lungs into the falling deluge, fingers balled into fists as every muscle fiber in his body clenched to its breaking point. "Come fight me you coward!"

But nobody came.

A harsh flash of white illuminated his visage as it softened into something different. A pleading expression. The cacophonous boom of the thunder that followed rippled through the expanse, vibrating the very air. It took Bahr everything he had to not burst into tears. And maybe he had. He couldn't tell anymore with the way the rain was falling.

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Cordelia blinked.

“Now?” She sputtered, standing straight up abruptly as Oscar shot out of his chair and towards the door without another glance to the two. The girl gave a nervous glance to Bahr before she followed after him. She huffed and shrugged her jacket back on as she exited the warm tavern, instantly feeling a cold blast of air hit her face like a brick. 

Does she regret this? Possibly. Was she still going to follow them? Definitely

She had told Oscar this herself, she was here for him, as well as Bahr. She wasn’t one to really break her promises after all. She wasn’t sure if her support was the thing Oscar really needed at the moment, though. What he needed was reassurance. . . but not from her.

Huh. Somehow she felt disappointed when she realized that.

[ F L O O R  O N E ]

Cordelia hadn’t even taken a breath before Oscar had already left for the Monument of Life. He really needed this, huh. . .

She honestly couldn’t say she’s actually been to the Monument of Life before, at least, from what she remembered. She was never the type of person to check these walls constantly, yet somehow, with both Oscar and Bahr at her side, she felt anxious.

Anxious for what she was going to see.

Anxious for what they were going to see, specifically. 

Cordelia halted beside the two as she looked up and down at the list of names the wall held. Many were crossed off, but she had expected that already. She peered at Oscar from the corner of her eye. A range of emotions spread across his face, and she really couldn’t tell what was what at that point, but seeing that made her exhale in relief. It didn’t look bad, but she could be reading him wrong. . .

"Bahr. Look."

Cordelia snapped back to reality as she whirled her head over to what Oscar had been looking at.

«Kirbs»
Player-Killed by Pinball.

Kirbs?

She had never seen that name before, but it felt strangely familiar. Had someone talked to her about this player before? Kirbs, Kirbs, Kirbs. 

Well, clearly the person held some kind of significance to both Oscar and Bahr since both of them seemed to know whoever they were. Perhaps a friend? She leaned forward, examining the text under the player name. Player-killed? They were murdered? She shuddered as she leaned back, her lips forming into a thin line. 

Pinball.

Another name she doesn’t know. . .

Her breath hitched in her throat as her eyes scanned up and down the slab again. She saw it in a totally different way now. . .

«Belial»
Player-Killed by Pinball.

«Roulette»
Player-Killed by Pinball.

«Sugutsuya»
Player-Killed by Pinball.

All of these players were killed by the same person, Pinball. . . yet, who exactly was he? 

"I'm leaving." 

Her darkening thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a sudden declaration. She snapped her head towards the voice, but found the spot empty. She looked towards the exit and faintly saw the streak of white hair turn the corner and disappear. Bahr?

She looked back at the crossed out name, Kirbs, and stared. Whoever it was, Bahr must've been close to them, close enough to leave abruptly when looking at a simple crossed off name. . . or did he not know yet? She hummed, her hand reaching up to scratch her chin quizzically. She had been dead for months. . . yet he had only found out now? Wouldn't he have noticed they were dead when he looked at their name from his friends list? Or were they not on speaking terms? Perhaps they had some sort of fight before their death. . . that was a logical explanation, she'd suppose.

She looked over to Oscar and smiled sadly. He must've known whoever this player was. . . yet he didn't seem as affected as Bahr, or was he bottling up his emotions? She guessed that she would never know. 

"I'm going to go after him," she murmured, looking at the exit before back to Oscar with a small smile. "You should come too."

She hardly knew where she was going, and only the faint red of Bahr's clothing in the distance was saving her from getting utterly lost in this town. Thank God for vibrant clothing only players tend to wear. She furrowed her brows. He was leaving town? She looked at the sky and huffed, picking up her pace. That moron was heading out of town when there was a clear storm approaching? Had he really been driven so much by a simple death?

Cordelia silently watched from a small distance as Bahr stopped at a piece of normal-looking grass, but she knew at this point that this area holds some kinda of significant purpose. 

She silently watched as rain began to fall.

She silently watched as she dug his sword into the ground with so much force that it could shatter anything.

She watched silently as he painfully yelled into nothingness. 

Her face held a blank look, water streaming down her cheeks as she clasped her hands tightly together in front of her. 

Was it pity she was feeling? Sympathy? Empathy?

She wasn't sure.

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"Guess I'll die, then," she mumbled, shooting him a small glare.

"Then there's a cliff. If you're so certain you want to die, walk off of it."

Well that backfired.

Oscar brought his hand up to his face, covering his eyes and shaking his head. When Bahr left, Oscar didn't even regard him. The Bloodedge blazed past him, heading off to God knows where. Cordelia voiced her concern for him and rushed off after him. Oscar, on the other hand, shook his head and waved the silver-haired woman off. Oscar instead kept his eyes glued to her name up there on the Monument. He never imagined that she would actually get herself killed, least of all by Pinball's hands. That guy was a rabid hound that needed to be put down. Oscar shoved his hands into his pockets and turned on his heels. He didn't know where he was going. He just couldn't stand being here anymore.

In a strange twist of fate, as Oscar stepped outside, rain began to fall upon the Town of Beginnings. Not merely a drizzle. No, this was a downpour. Oscar looked up as the fat drops of rain fell upon his face. He couldn't even bring himself to cry. He was so shocked over the revelation Kirbs' fate, he couldn't bring himself to feel anything. Well, that wasn't quite accurate. He certainly felt something. A cold rage. The gears were turning in his head. Oscar wasn't the type to give a ton of thought to something. In a rare display, Oscar was already planning exactly how he would crucify Pinball. First things first. He had to keep Bahr from drowning.

He opened his menu with a sharpness. His motions were short, efficient. Every action he took from here on would be one of cold efficiency, moving him ever onward towards his goal. 

You know you're actually thinking about killing a man right?

Oscar froze, his finger hovering over his friend list. That damnable voice in his head, his own conscience would not permit him to proceed like this. He wanted nothing more than to push forward, roll out guns blazing. To find Pinball and make him pay. Make him suffer. But at the end of the day, he knew he didn't have it in him. Regardless of what he had done, Oscar couldn't bring himself to exact retribution. Perhaps in the heat of the moment, with his own life on the line. But not like this. His conscience would not permit him to move until he admitted this fact to himself. Once he did, the cold rage ebbed away, replaced by a very stiff cocktail of anguish and guilt. Oscar didn't really have time to deal with that right now. His own interaction with Kirbs had been limited and he could at least console himself with the knowledge that he at least tried to help her. Bahr knew the woman for longer. She meant more to him. If Oscar was feeling like this he could only imagine what that man was going through.

He brought up Bahr's location data and broke into a sprint. It didn't take him long to catch up. Where Cordelia merely watched silently as Bahr raged to the non-existent Pinball, Oscar took a more proactive approach. The man was tense. He needed an outlet. He needed to let the emotions run their course. But he was clinging to the rage with everything he had. It wasn't healthy, but Oscar wasn't exactly one to talk was he?

"Bahr," he stated, his voice barely audible over the downpour. "We're going to get him. We're going to bring him to justice." Oscar was careful not to use the word "kill." He doubted he had it in him. But, he could assist Bahr. He knew in the back of his mind that Bahr would probably kill the man. That didn't matter. Only two things were important here. One, that the threat of Pinball was neutralized. He simply couldn't be allowed to roam free. And two, that Bahr didn't feel like he was in this alone.

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"We're going to get him. We're going to bring him to justice."

There he'd gone again. Making it all about him. How could he have been so callous, when the whole reason they had been there was for Oscar? Now they were all standing in the rain, out in the middle of nowhere, consoling Bahr because he'd lost his cool. Again.

He had to get a grip.

"The boy," Bahr croaked, eyes still affixed to the majesty of the rolling clouds overhead. They mirrored much the condition of his chagrin. "Did you find him on the wall?"

Slowly he craned his head to the side, his dual-toned eyes locking on to those of his companion. The crimson and verdant orbs were lifeless and hollow. But still, he had a job to do.

"Is he alive?"

Desperately yearning for anything else to occupy himself with. Dwelling on the current situation for much longer would drive him over the edge. He needed something else. Anything else. 

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Cordelia blinked as she watched Oscar approach him, but he was barely audible over the downpour. Cordelia sniffed as she slowly approached the two, just barely there to catch Bahr's own question.

Right, the boy.

She looked over to Oscar expectantly. She would be lying if she said she wasn't thinking the same thing as Bahr at the moment, though probably not for the same reason. Just simple curiosity.

She looked over to Bahr, her steely gray eyes softening as she looked at his tense and weakened state. 

"Hey, listen, we're going to catch the bastard who killed that. . . girl(?), okay?" She said reassuringly, offering him a small smile to hopefully lift his mood, but she felt like in his state, anything could send him over the edge. . . well, more than he already was.

Whatever man, worst scenario is going to be him flipping out again, which she really, really, really hoped wasn't going to happen.

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"He's alive," came Oscar's response. "I don't know how it happened, but I intend to get to the bottom of it. So I suppose there's some good news for you guys."

The rain was beginning to die down. The sun pierced the clouds, bathing the floor in its light once more. As quickly as the squall was upon them, it had disappeared. There was hope on the horizon. Oscar let out a small sigh. Today had been a day of many developments. Though he was happy to find that Tyson was alive, he wasn't at all pleased it came with the news of Kirbs' untimely end at the hands of Pinball. At the very least, however, Oscar could move forward now. He wasn't stuck hanging onto the past. He could find Tyson and bring Pinball down. Both things would ultimately do wonders in his recovery. In any case, there were things to be done. The best way he figured he could grieve Kirbs was to bring her killer to justice. He figured Bahr felt the same way.

"You're god damn right we are, Cordelia. We've let that hound run free for too long. It's time we put him down."

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