Yukiro

Yukiro flinched at the words. 
"S-sorry," he said quickly, almost on instinct. Suddenly, the fear that had before been keeping the boy from reaching out to his friend seemed to shift. Now, that very same fear seemed to force him to keep talking. 
"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to shut you out, I really didn't. I don't know what came over me, I just... I... I couldn't help it! I was so, so... Upset! I know that was wrong of me, I know I should have conducted myself better, I know I shouldn't have left you on your own." 
Months of bottled up emotions came bursting out as water started to stream down his cheeks. He looked down, habitually trying to hide the tears.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect them, I should have been there. It's my fault for letting my guard down, for..." 

A moment of silence passed. Only a moment. Then, half in annoyance and half in confusion, Yukiro simply said;

"... String bean..?"

@Koga

Yukiro stood completely still in front of the house, shivering. The weather was warm and the sun shone brightly onto the boy's black cloak, and there was no wind blowing. Nothing to make the boy shiver. Nothing at all. And, yet, goosebumps rose all over his body. 
"..."
Very slowly, he stepped toward the house. His bones seemed to creak with the motion due to how long he'd been standing there. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as he approached the ominous feeling house. 

Ever since Tala had passed, Yukiro hadn't been able to approach Koga. He didn't know how his friend would react to his being there. Would he get angry? Would he try to hurt him? Honestly, Yukiro wasn't even sure whether he was talking about Koga... or himself. He didn't want to blame Koga for the incident, he honestly didn't... Yet, at the same time, a part of him did. Really, his feeling were just a jumble mess by now. But, despite that, he'd  made up his mind to go and see Koga. He didn't want to go back on that decision. Besides, Cordelia would probably flatten him if she heard that he'd ran away.

Taking a deep breath and steeling hi nerves, Yukiro finally knocked on the door.

@Koga

"...I didn't think it was that bad of an idea. I just thought maybe I could capitalize on people's natural aversion to grinding." The boy let out a heavy sigh. "But I guess it's not that great of an idea. People can get materials pretty easy. And free of charge. I guess maybe I'll have to start up the forge again," he groaned. As much as he didn't mind making the equipment, it felt like a massive grind, not to mention a drain on his good mood. He'd have to keep avoiding that for a while yet. 

Yukiro cast his eyes about, looking for something that stood out. "Jewelry? I've just never worn it before, I guess. Maybe I'd be willing to try something, if it had good stats." 
Suddenly the boy paused mid-step. Something had glinted among the green of the grass. Yukiro hopped over to it and picked it out of the ground. It was a small orb of metal, less than an inch in diameter, glinting in the sunlight. Grinning, Yukiro walked back over to NIGHT and showed her the platinum nugget. 

"Lucky~! Maybe there's something to be found in materials after all," he exclaimed with a slight smirk, "What do you think you could make out of this thing? It's kinda small, so maybe I'll give it to you," he pondered aloud, continuing on their walk. 

@NIGHT

When NIGHT stopped, Yukiro figured that he should take full advantage of the moment. He walked over to a small tangle of plants and weeds, starting to sift through them with his bare hands. He plucked a few particularly interesting plants, but they shattered as he did, leaving him empty handed once again. With a sigh, Yukiro stood up, moving to follow NIGHT as he dusted his hands off. 

"A merchant near your place, huh? That might be smart. Saves you the usual grind of gathering. Though, it's probably best to just do both. Really max out on those mats, right?" he mused to himself. While the boy wasn't sure whether his advice was even good, he thought it sounded right. "As for my shop... I haven't really done anything with it for a long time. I'm considering just scrapping the whole thing and starting over. Maybe just starting a shop that sells materials instead of actual goods." 

@NIGHT

"How much debt per meal?" Yukiro repeated back to NIGHT as he followed her to the outskirts of town. He thought for a moment. There was no way he could admit that he had been over ten thousand col in debt every time he wanted to eat. "Y-yeah. Best we don't talk about that. Yeah, it's, ah, good to be feeling better." 

One of Yukiro's arms swung slightly at his side, the other resting in a pocket. He glanced around, looking for anything interesting as he walked. Nothing caught his eye. 

"Hey, y'mind if we stop now and again for materials? I'm pretty sure I'm running out of them." 

"What?" Yukiro asked, snapping out of his distraction with the environment, "Oh, right. Sure, we can gather along the way. If you need materials, then let's get you some." 

Yukiro glanced around for a moment hoping he'd see something worth grabbing, but nothing stuck out to him. Maybe he just wasn't used to this, just like with everything else. Closing his eyes and letting out a heavy sigh, the boy refocused on the path, letting his mind wander a bit. 

@NIGHT

The wind whistled around the boy's silver hair, leaving flakes of snow decorating his head after only a few moments of being on the wintry floor. Fortunately Yukiro's new cloak seemed to be warm enough to keep his body warm. Tugging the front closed and pulling the warm blanket tighter around him, Yukiro followed Amara with a slightly irritated look. 

"...You never said it would be on the fourth floor..." 

Suddenly, an oddly placed building sprang into Yukiro's view. It was just far enough out of the way that if he hadn't known it was here Yukiro might never have found it. But, despite it's odd position, the warm glow from within seemed all too inviting to the cold, frost-covered boy.
"Aha!" 
Suddenly, Yukiro was dragged toward the structure at a much faster pace that soon lead him inside the door. Warmth rushed through the boy's body the moment he stepped inside. Sighing a bit, Yukiro let his cloak open up, though he didn't remove it. A bit of ice remained in the boy's white hair, shimmering as he looked around at the small shop. A slight smile came to his face. 

"It's wonderful," he agreed. Amara had really come a long way. "I can still see you sleeping here though." 

The boy laughed, bowing slightly to NIGHT. He knew they'd agreed for her to pay, but maybe he'd been a little too cruel. Even so, a good sized meal always put Yukiro in a good mood. 

"Sorry, sorry! It's been a while since I've eaten anything, so I really went for it. I'll be sure to pay you back eventually!" He snickered a bit. "And, well, now you know why I was always out grinding. I needed the money!" 

He decided it was best not to tell his smaller friend that he was up for a second round of food. She might actually decide he was a changeling and try to kill him. He'd make sure to go smooth things over with the restaurant someday, maybe pay off some of the tab. But, for now, NIGHT was right. They were supposed to be dragon hunting. 

"The second dragon should be on the second floor," he brilliantly observed, "It's supposed to be curled up by a tree with golden apples. If it's not there, it'll be nearby. But, ah..." Yuki skimmed the info broker's description again, "Sorry, one second." 
Stopping in front of the first floor's teleport platform, Yukiro sent a message to Fleur. After a few moments there was a response. The boy visibly paled as he read it. 
"It, ah... The tree is never in the same place twice. There's no way to know where on floor two we'll find it. But, um," he grinned at NIGHT with childish optimism, "It's probably on the West side of the floor! Probably!" 

@NIGHT

Yukiro turned slightly red as Cordelia reminded him of the snowball incident. He had hoped he could forget that. Unfortunately, it seemed evident that there would be ample reminders. 

"I'm pretty sure I can run faster than you, anyway." 

Wincing internally, the boy attempted a smile and nod. He knew it was meant to be a joke, but to him it was a painful wake-up call. She was faster than him. He'd been gone so long that he was probably far, far weaker than everybody else. How much had she managed to level up in that time he'd spent laying on the ground? 
...I guess that's what I get. I'll have to get stronger if I want to be of any help. And fast. 
Yukiro sighed. He'd have to start getting back into things later. For now, he wanted to give Cor-- Amara his full attention. 

"Right. Let's go," he agreed softly, "Um... Yeah, I'll follow you." He started after his friend, making a quiet promise to pay her back one day. 

I missed a lot, huh? I guess... I guess that's to be expected when you do what I did. 

Yukiro attempted a smile. It was a bad attempt, but he was trying. He was going to ask what she wanted to show him, but he decided that it didn't really matter. If Amara wanted him to see something, he owed her at least that much. 

"Alright... Let's go then. The fog... The fog is making it cold here anyway." He added the excuse more to convince him than to convince her. "Make sure I don't try to run off, okay?" 

The boy unsteadily pushed himself to his feet. Taking a moment to regain his balance and brace himself, he offered a hand to help Cordelia up after him. It made him at least a little happy that things had gone on without him, though that same fact was also a little saddening. But he'd pretend it was a happy statement, if only to make Amara happy. He only wished he had some stories to tell her too. The only thing he'd really done was lay on the ground in his shop. Maybe he could tell her the stories behind all the places he'd visited. 

"Hey, Amara... Thank you. For being here for me." 

The restaurant was far more lustrous than Yukiro was used to; even before he'd locked himself away he'd never been somewhere so high-class looking. Heck, even his well-off parents had never taken him out to eat anywhere nearly this fancy. The cloaked boy followed NIGHT in, almost having to duck through the doorway. The marble counter and dim lighting caught Yukiro off guard. He took a seat next to NIGHT, accepting the menu from her and glancing over the options. Not that he needed to. 

"It looks like a pretty nice place, I think. Thanks for bringing me." With an almost confident smile, Yukiro handed his menu back to a waiter. "One of everything, please. Do her's first, if possible," he added, trying to be considerate for his friend's meal. Then, more quietly, he said to NIGHT, "I didn't hold back too much."

While the staff of the unfortunate restaurant tried to process the boy's incredible order, Yukiro turned to NIGHT. "Hey, so I heard there are a bunch more dragons. It's supposed to be some kind of pseudo-quest line, I think. Do you wanna start taking care of all those things together?" he asked, hoping she'd say yes. As much as Yukiro knew he'd have to do a lot on his own to really put himself back together, and as much as he did still want to be alone, he knew that the dragons would get tougher. And, more than that, he knew that if he didn't force himself to keep connecting with others, he'd eventually go back to isolating himself. 
"I know you're way stronger than me now, but I'll do my best to keep up and be of use." 

@NIGHT

The boy nodded. A good meal sounded like fun. He hadn't had an actual meal in over a month now. It was always just small snacks, if that. Most days he avoided eating at all. Yukiro smirked as NIGHT offered to pay. 

"No take backs! You said you were paying!" Yukiro snickered, "But really, thank you. I'd love to get something to eat."

Bending down to heave his sword up off the ground, Yukiro looked at the sky. Memories of the missions they used to go on flicked through his head. 
...I'm not gonna reminisce about something. 
Fine, I'll skip that part. 

After thinking about how he used to go eat with NIGHT after their outings, Yukiro let out a sigh and looked back down. Sheathing his sword on his back he turned and started back towards the Town of Beginnings. It was lucky enough that he'd remembered the way back. "Anything you feel like in particular?"  he asked, looking over his shoulder as he walked, "Ramen? Maybe enchiladas or hamburgers?" 

@NIGHT

Yukiro flinched a little as NIGHT brushed the bits of grass out of his hair, leaving only a shiny, light green splotch on his bangs. Slowly, the boy took NIGHT's hand and stood up. The reassurance she'd given him was nice; Yukiro felt like he really could start doing this again. 

"How'd you end up on the ground, anyway? I wasn't looking." 

Yuki's face instantly turned a little red. 

"Uh," he managed, "Nothing. Faulty system. Yeah, that." 

A small window appeared in his vision. He'd made a little col and gotten a decent about of exp. Glancing up at his level, Yukiro decided that he'd have to do a lot of things like this to catch up. He shook his head a bit and refocused. They had beaten the dragon. Now what? Yukiro had been gone so long he didn't know what to suggest. 

"Um... Thanks for all of the help here." 
...If you don't know what to say or do next, ask her. 
It's been a long time since I've done this, okay!?
"What, ah, what do you want to do now?" he asked. 

@NIGHT

Yukiro turned a little red as Cordelia pointed out his poor timing. Despite his embarrassment, the change of topic was helping him feel better, if only slightly. Yukiro looked away, staring pointedly at the grass once again. 

"Amara Le. My name is Amara Le." 

The name pricked at the boy's mind. Something told him that he knew that name, but it was too vague for him to dwell on it. The fact that Corde-- that Amara trusted him with her name meant a lot to him. Yukiro nodded to the ground, not sure what to tell her. And yet, despite his insecurity, he slowly spoke. 

"...Thank you," he told her.
A sudden feeling of guilt swept over him again. This time, it was the guilt of having left her, and everyone else. 
"I... I'm sorry... That I left like that. I just..." 
I just couldn't bear it all.
"...I read the messages. All of them. I listened by the door whenever anybody came by. I secretly visited the places I had fond memories of..." The boy's dry eyes got a little wet again as he talked. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Cordelia with trembling eyes. 
"I missed you." 

The dragon's health had been shot surprisingly low. Had he done that? It was more than the boy thought he could do in one blow. But Yukiro could think about all that later. Right now, the dragon was latched onto NIGHT's blade. Yukiro started to run back towards NIGHT, brandishing his sword behind him and activating a familiar sword art. 

Naturally, that was when he tripped. 

Yukiro never found out what his foot caught on. Maybe it was a tangle of grass or a hidden rock. What he did know was that, all of a sudden, he'd gone from standing up to sliding across the ground on his face. The boy's legs pointed up at the air for the few moments that his body was in motion, grass stains turning his white bangs a mottled green. Finally his face stopped skidding along the ground, letting his body crash back down to earth with a prominent thud. 

Fortunately, nobody had time to think to much about his blunder, because the dragon was on top of him almost immediately, clawing at his back and trying to get through the player's cloak. Yukiro, after a few seconds of struggling, managed to throw the creature off his back and scamper away from it, dragging his sword behind him. 

He could only pray NIGHT didn't notice the fall. Or the green portion of his hair. That was reasonable, right?

@NIGHT

"You're at a loss, huh?" Yukiro asked, the tiniest bit more confidence coming into his voice, "I guess we'll have to start forcing each other to do things." 
The boy smiled a bit at the ground as he thought about the conversation they were having. Just talking as they walked to do something... Just like back then. 
"It's good to see you to--" 
SCREEEEEEEEEEE!!!

A massively loud screech interrupted him. A green dragon about the size of a large crocodile had crawled up onto a large rock. Yukiro instinctively pulled his sword from his back and jumped forward, the thick, double-edged blade making a wonderfully familiar shing as it was drawn. 

He didn't think about it at the time, but it was relieving that Yukiro still had the basic skills he'd honed. It felt like he was given his identity back. 

The dragon's three HP bars rushed into existence as it and the boy charged each other, both roaring loudly with a controlled yet furious power filling their eyes. Time seemed to slow down as they got closer; two moments before the clash. One moment. Yukiro spun to the left, turning as he sidestepped the monster's rush. His momentum transferred down his arms and into the blade of his sword as he swung it down, cleaving right through the dragon's shoulder, into it's chest and curving out the same side as it rushed by him. He didn't see how much health it lost, focusing on not falling over as he skidded to a stop and turned back around. 

"End it, NIGHT!" he roared. It was the first time in over a month he'd hadn't sounded at least a little depressed. 

@NIGHT

"..." 
Yukiro wasn't sure how to respond to Cordelia. He was at fault... He had to be, there was nobody else to blame. So why was he taking comfort in her words? For a long while Yukiro just laid there in the grass, saying nothing as one arm covered his closed, leaking eyes. Time seemed to move at a crawl, but he didn't even try to say anything until his eyes were tired and dry from crying. With trembling arms Yukiro pushed himself back up into a sitting position. 
He wasn't sad anymore. He just felt... empty. 

"It..." He paused. His throat felt dry. Talking hurt. But he forced himself to continue. "...I can't blame... anyone else. But... I'll try." 

He let out a shaky breath. His entire body was feeling dry and weak. He slowly looked over at Cordelia. 

"...Cordelia..." 
Yukiro turned his entire body to face her. He felt like he needed to do something. To tell her something important. He didn't know why it was important, but it was. He needed to tell her.

"...My name..." he said, the first thing he'd said with even an ounce of confidence, "Is Kite Junichiro."

Yukiro nearly flinched when Cordelia put the pieces together. He felt bad for not telling her, but he just also relieved that he wouldn't have to say what had happened. Instead, he just nodded to confirm what was suspected. 

"It wasn't your fault," he repeated in an empty, quiet voice. He opened his mouth to say something more, but nothing came out, so he closed it again. 

The boy let go of his legs, letting his upper body fall back into the grass. His sad, wet eyes stared up at the sky. Would Tala be happy seeing him like this, he wondered. Would she be proud of him for locking himself away, for avoiding everything he possibly could? He already knew the answer to that. 

Slowly, words started to come to him again. "I never learned the details. One day she was just... gone. Forever. We never got to say goodbye." Tears started to form in his eyes again. 

It should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me... 

Yukiro waited in silence for NIGHT to come up with an answer to his question. The grass around them was getting greener as they went on, he noticed. Or maybe he was just getting used to seeing grass again. 

"A house. An apartment, actually." 

NIGHT came to a stop, Yukiro following her lead as she did. He listened as his friend began to recount the things she'd done and planned to do. She even told him about a special someone who'd caught her attention. Yukiro smiled ever so slightly as she spoke. 

"That sounds wonderful," he softly agreed, "It sounds like you know what you want, more or less. I'll try to support you in all of that."

NIGHT started to walk again, and so Yukiro followed. 

"I mostly just have to get caught up. It's been so long since I've done anything that I've fallen behind, both in numbers and skills. Having someone get me to go out more would be helpful," he admitted, "So feel free to come by. The place is more than a little messy though." 

As he spoke the boy avoided eye contact. His fighting instincts were messed up, he could feel it. That was the only thing he'd really had to his name, and if that was gone then he was going to be having a very bad life until he got it back. 

"Thanks again for joining me on this." 

@NIGHT

Yukiro's breath caught in his throat as Cordelia wept. She was blaming herself? Did she not know what had happened? His neck seemed to creak as he looked over at the crying girl. A new feeling was starting to pierce his chest; unrelenting guilt. His mind was almost blank, save one thought that penetrated his spirit. 

I need to help her. 

The hoarse, quiet words started to spill out of Yukiro's mouth before he could even think about what to say. 

"You didn't do anything wrong. It was all my fault. I let her go alone." He knew that Cordelia wouldn't know what he meant, but Yukiro couldn't stop his voice from proceeding. "There's... There's nothing you can do. Nothing anyone can do."

He slowly curled up into a ball inside the folds of his long cloak. 

"...Nothing I can do." 

Yukiro buried his face into his knees, a new wave of tears coming. He didn't want Cordelia to see him like this; or anyone else. The boy wanted nothing more than to sink into the earth and truly disappear. 

Yukiro nodded as NIGHT admitted her lack of training. He completely understood; especially since he'd spent the last month locked up in his shop. He hated to admit it, but she was probably light years ahead of him by now. 

"Alright. Tell me when you're ready. I'll try not to push you." 

Then NIGHT asked him something unexpected. She asked if he had anything he wanted to do. 
...Do I have anything I want to do? 
Yukiro couldn't think of anything. His only real goal was to overcome his grief, and that hardly counted. He never really cared about the success of his shop, and ever since joining SAO he'd only ever focused on combat. Until... Until Tala...

"...I don't know," he admitted, "I never really thought about anything like that. Especially since..."
His voice trailed off. Yukiro slowed to a near stop, but quickly sped up to stay with NIGHT. 
"Um... What about you? Did you have anything you wanted to do?"

@NIGHT

Yukiro turned to walk with NIGHT, trailing just behind her. He wasn't sure how his friend could walk with so much confidence; he himself was somewhat slouched and looked right at the ground whenever possible. She said the dragon was easy, right? He should take some solace in that. 

"I met Cordelia earlier. She was the one that convinced me to... stop hiding." He paused for a moment. "I'll try to drop by sometime."

He was still struggling to talk to NIGHT, let alone anyone else. But Yukiro was still glad for the semblance of a casual conversation. It put him more at ease. Though the reminder that he'd have to face Apollo after flat out ignoring him for so long made the boy shudder. 

"...You have new equipment. Did... You get stronger?" He asked with a hint of nervousness. While he was glad to see that Night had gotten better, it also hurt to think that he was being left behind because he couldn't handle his grief. 

@NIGHT

When NIGHT spoke Yukiro froze up for a moment. That seemed to have become his natural reaction to encountering people he knew. Yukiro glanced at his friend and then at the ground, trying to hide as much of himself inside his cloak as possible. Out of everyone he knew, NIGHT was the most likely to be feeling what he felt. Not that it made him feel any better. 

"I was... just going to try and fight that dragon. The emerald one," he started, his voice quiet and somewhat shaky, "Um... I would appreciate the help. If you would."

A part of Yukiro's spirit dropped when he realized that he wasn't going to get away with just giving up anymore. But a part of him felt grateful to have someone to push him to trying harder. He bolstered his courage and continued. 

"I, um... Sorry. I didn't mean to worry you." 

He was also grateful that NIGHT was willing to avoid the topic Yukiro assumed she wanted to ask about. He promised himself that later on he'd talk to her about it. 

@NIGHT

The gentle breeze rustled the boy's white hair and black cloak. He was standing at the border of the Town of Beginning's main entrance, just barely inside the safety of the town. He wanted to simply turn around and go back to his shop, where he could hide from everything. But he'd promised himself that he'd do this. He had to start going back into the field. And if he couldn't do it now, would he ever be able to? 
With a heavy sigh, Yukiro equipped his massive, single-edged sword, which appeared on his back. No turning back now. 

The Dragon Quest wasn't a very big secret anymore. Yukiro had known about the creature for a long time now; apparently it was a beginner's nightmare. The perfect kind of thing to force him back into his old habits, he hoped. If not then... 

...Focus. You're not like that anymore. 

Yukiro lightly slapped his cheeks with his hands and took a deep breath. "Alright." 

And with that he turned around, fully intending to go back home. 

@NIGHT

I don't want to lose you..! 

The words made Yukiro stop; not because he wanted to, but because that was the very thing he wanted to say. 

But I already... 

Something dripped off his face. Yukiro's eyes were blurry. Was he crying? A hand moved to touch his cheek. There were wet lines running down his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force the tears to go away, but it only made it worse. His breath caught in a small, choking gasp and his knees buckled below him. Yukiro nearly collapsed, wavering unsteadily on his feet.

The sense of total loss he was feeling was overwhelming. He couldn't fight it. He wanted to get away. He needed to. But as he tried to turn around, his legs finally gave out. The boy collapsed onto his knees, facing half-away from Cordelia. Quiet sobs were almost audible as he fought to regain control over himself. 

Yukiro took an involuntary step backwards as Cordelia's words pounded his very being. A part of him wanted to collapse, to fall into the earth and never get up again. He had been fearing this very moment; the moment when he'd have to face the people he cared for again. 

As much as he wanted to speak, the boy couldn't manage to form sounds. He wanted to apologize for disappearing. He wanted to tell her how he read every single message than was sent to him, how he sat by the shop's wooden door as people tried to visit. But nothing left his mouth. Yukiro's legs trembled beneath his cloak, his shallow, uneven breaths making small clouds of mist in front of him as he looked at his feet. 

Almost as if he was in slow motion, he took another step backward. 

"I-I'm sorry," his soft, trembling voice came, "I'm so, so sorry." 

As he spoke, Yukiro took a few more short, unsteady steps away from his friend.