Noctua

Love. What kind of form was this inner demon going to take? That was something that was worrying her a bit, mainly because she didn't know if she wanted to fight this demon. Wasn't it best to let this fear be? That just meant that she wasn't going to have to worry about messing it up again, right? She didn't want to, but she knew that it was only a matter of time. She loved the man, but she was utter hopeless at anything that involves emotions and relationships. That's just how bad she's pushed people away before in the past. She's not even close to her own parents because of her past fears.

She looked around the final arena that she was thrust into. Why did this look so familiar? Wait... were these the ruins of Athena's temple? This wasn't going to mesh well in her mind was it? Make her arena be a place that she would love to visit, and the person whom she had to fight wa- "Christelle, why would you do that to me." "No, you've got to be kidding me. I am not fighting you. You can't make me fight him Cardinal!" There was an eerie silence that accompanied her words, and she just stared at him.

The form was spot on, from his hair, to his outfit, and hell, even his katana was spot on. Then, there was the voice. It sounded just like him. Koga, no Masato. It was the spitting image of the man who had stolen her heart in little to no time. Someone whom she feared watching die, or watching get hurt, by her, again. She wasn't going to be able to fight him. She already knew this. She didn't even bother to try and pick up her rapier, she didn't have the strength to do so. Mentally, she knew that she couldn't handle hurting him, even if it was just some dumb inner demon thing that she was supposed to defeat.

"What's wrong, going to run away again? Going to leave me behind again? I thought you loved me Christelle." Wow, even the snark and attitude had been brought over with this spector. She couldn't deal with this. Just seeing him and knowing that she was going to have to kill this spector, had made the tears well in her eyes. But hearing those words come from him, hurt, more than she could possibly know. Mainly because she knew that he was right. She still made no move to attack him though, she just stared at the spector that was taking the form of someone whom she cared for so much.

The shadowed version of Koga wasn't standing for that though, and with its katana out, charged for Noctua. It was using his skills. His movements. She knew those skills and movements, and it made it that much easier for her to move out of the way of the attack. "Stop standing there Christelle and take the punishment that you know you deserve for leaving me there. For hurting me. For breaking my heart!"

She just kept staring at the entity, it gave no sign or signal of anything, except for that darned smile. It was just... wrong. So very wrong. She heard something happening on the door though, and she turned to look back at the door. The words were changing, but not to something in English. She sighed as she waited to see what it was going to say, but of course, it was taking a little while. Of course, it was going to take a little while. It would be too easy if the door's inscription just instantly changed. Instead, it wanted to torture her by making her wait.

Είμαι ένα συναίσθημα που εκφράζεται με λόγια.
Ειλικρινά λένε λίγοι
Ψέματα από πολλούς.
Μπορώ να προκαλέσω τη μεγαλύτερη ευτυχία,
Ή η βαθύτερη θλίψη.
Ωστόσο, κάποιος επιστρέφει ακόμα αύριο.
Τι είμαι εγώ?

She stared at the words. They made no sense to her. Thankfully, with her memory, she was going to be able to write this down later. Perhaps Koga would be able to tell her if Cardinal was correctly translating things. If not, that would explain why she missed that last riddle. As she thought about this, the words started to change once more, but to English, so that she could read it to try and figure it out.

I am a feeling expressed by words.
Truthfully told by few,
Lies from many.
I can cause the greatest happiness,
Or the deepest sorrow.
Yet one still comes back tomorrow.
What am I?

A feeling expressed by words? There were so many of those. But wait, it could be a lie by many. She instantly thought back to her fight with Koga. To when she accused him of lying to her when he told her that he loved her. That, that couldn't be her final fear, could it? No, of course not. So, she reread the riddle over and over, for maybe an hour. She didn't know if it was her own impatience that she was feeling or the entity's, but it was in the air. She looked at the entity, "You're kidding me right? This seriously can't be my final fear. I don't fear that."

Okay, even she could tell that she was lying with that statement. She knew that she feared it, but not as much as others, possibly more than others do. She didn't want to face this. If she faced this one, then there was a good chance that she was going to break herself. But, she had to face it. She was strong enough to face it. She knew that. But, at the same time, was she? After a few minutes of staring at the door, she sighed lightly.

"Love." The door faltered for a moment, as if it were trying to tell her that she was wrong. But no, she was right. The door swung open and the void this time wasn't black, but pink. A bright and sickly colored pink. Oh, this was certainly going to be horrible, wasn't it?

The moment her feet touched the desert sand, the door behind her closed. Two doors stood before her, before one shattered like glass. Just one remained. The fourth and final door. She could do this. She has bested three of her inner demons already. What kind of damage could this fourth one do? As she thought that, she felt herself getting stronger. She felt like she had nothing to worry about. Three of her fears were gone. That's right, she has defeated three fears. They were gone, she didn't need to worry about them anymore.

This made her stronger. Made her feel like she could take on the world. But maybe not just yet. She could wait a little on that still. But, she was strong enough to take on this final demon. She could handle this riddle and make sure that she bests what she has to fight behind the door. But first, she needed to read the riddle that was on the door and best that. If the last riddle proved anything, these were getting harder and harder. But, she could do this, she had to do this. She didn't want to think about what was going to happen to her if she didn't. So, she walked to the final door, and her shoulders slumped as she looked at the foreign words.

Πονάω περισσότερο όταν έχασα,
Ακόμα και όταν δεν είχε καθόλου.
Μερικές φορές είναι το πιο δύσκολο να εκφράσω,
Αλλά το πιο εύκολο να το αγνοήσετε.
Μπορώ να δω σε πολλούς,
Ή μόνο ένα.
Τι είμαι εγώ?

She sighed and looked at the entity, "Really, you haven't learned yet?" As she looked back at the door, the letters had already changed so that she was able to read the riddle.

I hurt the most when lost,
Yet also when not had at all.
I'm sometimes the hardest to express,
But the easiest to ignore.
I can be given to many,
Or just one.
What am I?

She blinked a few times as she read over the riddle. This actually made no sense in her mind at all. What was this trying to tell her? A lot of things were hard to express, especially for Noctua. She just sucked at expressing any of her feelings, because she never seemed to have the right words to say them. So this, this was just making her head hurt, because she knew that she wasn't going to be able to actually answer it.

"So, um, if I can't answer a riddle, do I get a new one of something? Because, this one is completely lost on me." She looked over at the entity, that unsettling smile just seemed to grow. Why was it growing? What did that mean for her? This was not going to end well at all, was it? She was going to get an even harder version of this, wasn't she? She just kept watching the entity, trying to decipher its silence to see if it was going to ever answer her.

Noctua sheathed her weapon, she knew that she wasn't going to need to attack the demon again. Not with both Blight and Burn being a factor now. She just needed to bide her time. Ignore what was just said to her. But that couldn't happen. "You're wrong. He won't kill me." There was that laugh again, only this time, it didn't stop right away. It just kept going and going, until it faded away with the fear demon's death from the damage over time effects. Noctua didn't move though, she just stood where she was, staring at her hands. Staring at her rapier.

He wouldn't kill her, would he? She could trust him not to do that, right? Wasn't this supposed to kill her fears? This wasn't killing a fear, this was enhancing it. But, maybe this new fear that was being enhanced wasn't apart of the one that just died? She didn't know, but she did know that she didn't want to face the fourth fear. She could feel the entity's eyes on her, but she didn't move. If it wanted her to move on to the fourth and final door, then it could happily wait until she was certain that she could face it.

Funny, the cold that had been around her wasn't affecting her anymore. Was Cardinal doing that? Or was she just in shock that she faced her fears and won? Was that even the biggest fear? It couldn't be if there was still one more door for her to face. One more door for her to walk through. One more door that could do damage that she'd never expect. She didn't want to go through that door. She wanted to stay right here, even if it meant that she stayed in whatever trance it was that she was in to be in this messed up reality.

But, was that even allowed to happen? Probably not. She slumped to the ground, her hands landing in her lap as she continued to stare at them. She knew that her fear was right. If she continued to force people to be around her, then they would kill her. That was why she ran. That was why she left him how she did. She just couldn't tell him any of that. It would probably anger him, and that would end up getting her killed. Or worse, him killed. "She was right...." Only, Noctua wasn't talking about the demon she just faced. She was talking about Tala. Tala had been right when she told Koga that she wasn't telling him everything.

But, even now, she still couldn't tell him everything. She sighed and slowly rose back to her feet. She had one more trial to face. One more demon to best. Maybe then, she might make sense of everything. Or not, only time would tell really. For now, she walked back through the door that had been patiently waiting for her. The cold left, and she was greeted by some warmth as she reentered the desert.

Why was it so cold here? She looked around, only to notice that she was in a literal ice box. Well, almost literal. It was just a frozen valley that she was standing in the middle of. All snow. All cold. She didn't like it, but she was grateful that her jacket was long sleeved. She was at least sheltered a bit from the cold. But still not enough to keep her from completely shivering. Of course, it was the form that she saw before her that made her jaw drop. It was herself. Only, from when she first joined the game. She still had that vanity outfit in her inventory.

Was this her fear? Herself? It only made some sense when she thought about it. "Don't think too hard Christelle, you might burn the last of your brain cells that you have." Noctua stared at herself. Did... did she just insult herself? Is that really how this was going to go? She gripped her rapier's hilt tighter, which just made the demon form of herself laugh. It was a laugh that didn't belong coming from Noctua's mouth, so the sound of it was just wrong to her own ears right now. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of what she was hearing.

"What's wrong Christelle, can't face the music that it's your fault you have nothing? Your fault that you push people away. Your fault that you even went so far as to run away." Another foreign and not right laugh. Another reason for Noctua's hand to tighten around her rapier's hilt. "Will you just shut up! You are not me!" "Aren't I though? I know your deepest darkest fear. I know the reason's that you push people away. You just don't want to deal with the heartache. The broken feeling that you've already felt. You don't want to be the reason that someone is forced to be around you. That's all it, isn't it? You feel like you're forcing those around you, to stay."

No, none of that was true. Noctua knew it. Right? Didn't she? She didn't. She knew that the shade of herself was right. She knew that she pushed people away for that exact reason. She knew that was why she was trying to keep Koga away from her right now. "Besides, if you continue to force them to be around you, it's only a matter of time before they kill you." That laugh came again, before the fear demon made its move. It rushed Noctua, using her own skill against her by the looks of it. But, the demon was too slow and Noctua was faster on her feet. She waited.

She watched the demon perfectly, moving just in time to avoid getting hit. But, she hit the demon as she moved. It wasn't just a normal hit either. No, the demon had made her so made, that she hit it with a critical hit. She watched as Blight and Burn both appeared under the demon's health bar, and she just sighed.

She didn't even bother waiting for the door to close behind her. She just sat down on the ground for a moment. She ran her fingers through the sand that was beneath her, and she just watched it fall from her hand. Particle by particle, the sand fell from between her fingers and back to where it belonged, on the ground beneath her. That was when she felt the gaze of the shadowed version of her, and she just looked at it. "What? Haven't you tortured me enough already?" No answer, like normal. She was starting to get used to that. She felt like she was talking to herself, perhaps this was a darkness in her that she didn't know about? She doubted that. Even she knew that there was a darkness in her, she just refused to acknowledge it.

Three doors remained before her, before one vanished in a puff of smoke, and the other shattered into glass like the first. That must have been the door to the second inner demon. That was what she was calling these now, it was what they felt like. Her inner demons and fears. It only made sense since they were taking certain forms that scared the crap out of her. But of course, there were still two more, and one just standing before her. So, Noctua stood up and walked over to it, only to roll her eyes.

Τόσο κρύο όσο ο πάγος,
Τόσο συμπαγές όσο η πέτρα.
Μέσα σε μια φέτα μαχαιριού,
Μέσα στο σκοτεινό σπίτι σας.
Κάτω από την κυριαρχία μου,
Θέλετε να κάνετε πτήση,
Για να κρύψετε τους αγαπημένους σας
Και βάλτε μάχη.
Τι είμαι εγώ?

She didn't even say anything this time, the letters just started to change form to form a language that she knew how to read.

As cold as ice,
As solid as stone.
Within a knife’s slice,
Within your darkened home.
Under my sway, 
You want to take flight,
To hide loved ones away
And put up a fight.
What am I?

That... that was more vauge than she would have liked. But, she stared at the riddle, and she started to notice that they were now getting harder. But, this one seemed to perk an emotion in her that she didn't like. An emotion that she tried to keep buried because she didn't need to put anyone else in danger because of it. Fear. This couldn't be talking about that, could it? She read the riddle carefully over and over, until there was only one logical answer that did come to mind. "Fear."

The door swung open, and from behind it, she felt the instant cold. She felt the dread and the fear that came with it. She almost didn't want to know what form this demon was taking. Was it going to scare her more than she thought? Or was it going to hammer a nail home in her mind? There was only one real way to find out, and that was to walk through. One foot at a time, she walked through the freezing portal.

There was a scream that went through the void with Noctua. Never once has a clown actually grabbed her in this game, and now one has. She didn't like that factor. Nope. Not only did she hate clowns, but she hated the clown that this one was styled after the most. She regretted ever seeing that movie with her parents. It was the worst decision that she ever made, and now it was coming back to literally try and kill her. She didn't like this at all. She stared at the red hair, the white face, the blue makeup around the eyes, and even that painted on happy red smile. She knew he wasn't happy.

Actually, maybe he was happy. She noticed the knife in the clown's hand, and she instantly grabbed for her rapier. She didn't have time to attack the clown first, but she did see its attack coming. "Oh hell no. I'm so not dying to a damned clown." She sprinted from her spot, and spun around a few feet away only to see the clown come to a skidding halt. The laughter that had been in the clown's eyes was gone now, and replaced with the look of someone who had one thing on their mind; murder. Yeah, no, not today. That was what went through her mind as she watched the clown.

She knew that it wasn't going to be able to attack her yet, at least, that was what she was hoping for. But she wanted to make sure that she had an opening first. So, when she charged the clown, her rapier's blade glowing purple with its aura, the clown thought that it was going to be fast enough to move. But, with this new cloth armor, Noctua was faster than it. She quickly changed her direction to follow the clown, and thrust the blade into the clown several times. She felt the energy cost, and she stopped, but only once the clown turned into a cloud of red pixels.

"Like I said, I'm not dying to a clown. Not today, not ever." She didn't even know who she was talking to anymore at this point. She just knew that the clown was dead, and that there was an open door, just waiting for her to walk through it. "Yeah, you can wait a darned moment." She sheathed her rapier and the first thing that she did was start to hyperventilate. She just got dragged through a portal, from wherever she was in this game, to an arena, by a clown. A clown touched her. She felt like she just had the worst nightmare that she could actually ever imagine.

Only in this game would that actually happen to her. Only in this game would she learn to fear the things that she feared the most. Only, that was the thing, she didn't fear the spider or even that clown anymore. It was like she vanquished them from her own self-conscious. Odd. She righted herself and walked back through the void behind the door, and right back to that oh so familiar desert.

There were four doors before her again when she stepped fully into the desert arena. Only, once the door behind her closed, the first door that she had gone through shattered into glass. So, that must mean that she succeeded in the first trial of this doom? She tried once more to get some more of the spider's blood off of her, but still to no avail. She grumbled something when she heard a whoosh sound. She looked up, and two doors were missing, leaving door number two standing before her. She sighed, figuring that this trial was still far from over, and that Cardinal wanted her to continue on, and not worry about the spider blood that was currently making her subconsciously itch.

She grumbled as she walked up to the door, and sighed.

Ζω για γέλιο
Ζω για το πλήθος
χωρίς αυτό δεν είμαι τίποτα
Τι είμαι εγώ?

"Again? Come on man, me, whoever the heck you are. I can't read Greek. That's Koga's language, not mine." She could have sworn that she heard a laugh somewhere behind the door that she was staring at, but she ignored that as the letters reworked themselves once more.

I live for laughter
I live for the crowd
without it I am nothing
What am I?

"Nope! Nu uh! I'm out. See ya!" She didn't need to think on that riddle. She knew it instantly, and there was no way that she was going to deal with that. Nope. She refused. Right as she turned around to walk away from the door, she saw the shade of herself, with that same unsettling smile. Only, it seemed to be disappointed looking? Really? A guilt trip. Was this really how her day was going to go? She was going to be guilt-tripped into fight a clown. A clown of all things.

"Come on, anything else, please. I'll fight another spider! Yeah, give me another black widow. I'd happily fight that again instead of what's behind this door." More laughter came from behind the closed door, with a whispered 'answer it'. She stared at the door and just blinked. Was the door trying to goad her into answering the riddle to open the door? Was Cardinal really messing with her mind once more? She's already fought a zombie version of this. She really didn't want to fight the real thing.

"Please... anything but this...." The plea came out, but there was no answer to come, except for that eerie laughter. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, holding it for five seconds before slowly letting the air out. "Fine. You win. The answer is clown." The door swung open and that laughter intensified. The laughter got louder and more maniacal. She was not going to like this fight. Maybe, maybe she could get lucky, and it would die just as fast as that spider. Maybe. She didn't even get a chance to walk through the black void behind the door, a hand grabbed her and dragged her through instead.

She walked through the void, and was not surprised, at all, to have been teleported into a damp cave. Yeah, this spoke volumes of a spider lair. At least it wasn't a clown, she could live with a spider more than those makeup wearing weirdos. She heard something moving, but she couldn't see it, not yet at least. But she waited, and she listened. She already had her rapier out and in her hands. She wasn't going to be caught by surprise. She already knew that she was going to need a shower, but it sure as heck wasn't about to be because she was covered in spiderweb.

She took a step forward and groaned, okay, maybe a shower would be because of a spiderweb as well. There! She turned to her right when she heard something move again, and she finally caught sight of the spider. Only, it wasn't just any spider. No, it was a large black widow. Really, that spider, and it had to be bigger than herself? Cardinal really was playing some messed up games today, and it was showing already. She needed to wait until the spider was done moving, then it would be the perfect moment to strike. But, the darned thing was still moving.

She just waited, spinning in a circle trying to follow the spider, until she felt herself starting to get dizzy. No more of that, she was just going to wait it out. The spider would have to stop moving at some point, right? Just as she thought that, the spider stopped in front of her, almost confused as if it were wondering why she wasn't spinning. Why she wasn't trying to track its movements anymore. That was when Noctua struck. She rushed the spider, her rapier starting to glow its purple aura before she let her attack go. Each thrust from Over Radiation hit its mark, and each thrust gained some green goo landing on her from that attack.

It wans't until the spider's health dropped to zero, and it turned to red pixels did she notice what was on her, and it stayed there even with the spider dead and gone. "Oh come on! You could have at least taken its blood with it!" She didn't even know who she was shouting at anymore. She sheathed her rapier and did her best to try and wipe the green blood off of her, at least, as best as she could. It wasn't entirely successful though, she was going to have to burn this vanity outfit, she knew that for certain.

She grumbled something in French as she walked through the door that had appeared before her. The black void being something that she wasn't entirely happy to have to walk back through. Of course, she expected to go to a new arena, but instead, she was transported right back to the desert from her home. Those same cacti, that same dirt, the same weather lacking desert from before. Perfect.

She looked around the desert. She could clearly tell that this wasn't truly her home, well, she could feel that. It wasn't blazing hot, there weren't any heat waves coming off of the sand. But, it was picture perfect otherwise, from the rocks, all the way down to the Joshua Tree cacti. This wasn't going to be good, and she knew that instantly. That was when she noticed it. A much darker looking version of herself, with this unsettling smile on it's, her, face. Noctua didn't know how to address this entity, it bothered her, unsettled her. She took a step forward, only for four doors to suddenly show up. She just blinked, and looked from the look a like to the first door.

She only knew that it was the first door because of the number one on the door. She watched the doors for a moment, the other three vanishing before her eyes. That was when she looked back at the entity that was there. "Am I supposed to go in?" There was no answer, just that same unsettling smile. Noctua shivered at that smile, it really was unsettling. Did she have that same smile? Or was this just some trick of the Cardinal system? She didn't know, and honestly, she didn't want to know. So, Noctua walked closer to the first door, and noticed that there was something written on the door itself.

Οκτώ παλετοφόροι φέρουν,
θάνατος στο πάτωμα.
Υφαίνει το κάλυμμα του για όσους κινούνται,
για να βεβαιωθείτε ότι δεν κινούνται πλέον.

"Um, shadowy version of me, I can't read that. Mind helping me out here?" There still wasn't an answer, but the letters on the door shifted from the language that they were in, into English so that she could read them.

Eight pallbearers carry,
death across the floor.
He weaves his shroud for those that move,
to make sure they move no more.

Wait. That format. That was familiar to her. She took a moment to think, and it clicked in her mind. This was like the riddles from Greek Mythology. The Sphinx Riddles. Oh no, she sucked at riddles. She didn't know if she was going to be able to pass the riddle to open the door. "So, do I need to get the answer right? Or...." Still nothing. Ugh, stupid useless system sending an NPC into this horrible reality only for it to be of no help at all.

Fine. She would figure this out. She thought on it, eight pallbearers, that was just another fancy word for legs. She didn't need anymore. She immediately shivered again as she looked at the door. "Oh please no. I'll honestly face anything but that." But, there seemed to be no way past, so she just sighed and looked at the door. "Spider." The door swung open, a pitch black void on the other side. Apparently she wasn't going to be able to see what her battleground was going to look like until she walked through.

She sighed lightly, only then noticing just how calm this waterfall seemed to be making her feel. So, she decided that perhaps she should just walk around and take in a good view of it. One step at a time, she walked more of the waterfall, noticing the smooth stones that there. They even seemed to be big enough for someone to sit down on. That was a unique and interesting feature. This was something that she's never actually seen with a waterfall before. The soft glow that was coming off of the water didn't dim either. She looked at the sky, only to notice that it was bright as day out. Did the waterfall always glow like this? If so, that was something that she could admire for hours.

In fact, that was exactly what she wanted to do right now. She walked over to one of the more distant smooth stones, noticing on the way that there weren't even any diseased plants around. This really was a special waterfall, and she wanted to give it the admiration that it deserved. She could only do that by sitting on this here stone and look around. Carefully, she stepped onto the stone that she had been headed for, and she smiled as she sat down on it. The surface was smooth, but warm, something that just seemed to help her relax just that much more.

If this was Cardinal playing some kind of nasty trick on her, then she didn't mind it. It was one that seemed to actually have her mind at peace right now. She didn't know when she had closed her eyes, but if someone were to walk by her, they'd just see her sitting on her rock, looking down at the calm waters. That was how she stayed, even as the world went black around her. It was almost like the dream, or nightmare, that she woke up from this morning. Funny how things seemed to intertwine like that in her mind. She just sat there, happily relaxing into the darkness that was brought to her by her closed eyes.

She actually didn't want to open them. For once, she didn't feel like something was out to get her. She didn't feel like she was about to mess something up again. She felt like there was nothing to worry about, or to really care about. That last part, that might not be completely normal for her, but right now, it was. It was normal, and, truthfully, kind of wanted. She didn't need to worry about jumping into the fray to do something stupid to save someone from something stupid. She just felt like there was no weight on her shoulders.

She stayed like that, for how long, she didn't know. She just knew that she had to leave though after a while. She needed to get back to the shop. Make sure that someone else wasn't attempting to worry about her. It wasn't his job to do that anymore. But, when she opened her eyes, she wasn't at the waterfall. She was in a desert. Her home.

She lifted her head, the headache suddenly gone, just by spotting that faint glowing light. Where was it even coming from? It was still a ways off from where she currently was, but there was something that was drawing her closer. Without even thinking about how bad that might be, she started to walk toward that light. If just the light itself was so calm that it made the headache go away, there had to be more to it. More that could help her figure out the inner fight. Okay, maybe that was a stretch, she doubted anything could help her with her inner demons. She couldn't even help herself with them after all.

She just pushed and buried and ignored, that has been how she has confronted and dealt with them over the years. That was what moving around a lot taught her to do. Along with the fact that it wasn't worth it to try and make friends. She would never stay long enough to be able to keep them after all, or even form the type of friendship that was needed. Hell, Koga had been her first boyfriend, and then fiance, and now, she didn't know exactly what he was. She had agreed with a friendship from him, but what did that entail?

She shook her head, she was starting to go around back to the questions that she had been asking herself before. That wasn't going to go over very well if she wanted to keep that headache away. She tried not to think on anything ass she walked, of course, that was easier said than done though. So, the thoughts went through her mind, and she just tried to not focus on them too much. She tried not to focus on the things that she had done wrong. She tried not to focus on the fact that perhaps, perhaps she shouldn't have even joined the game. Just gone to college like her parents wanted her to.

That would have made life a little easier, right? But, if she had done that, then she wouldn't have been able to meet Koga. While their relationship was rocky, she was still happy to have been able to meet him. But, perhaps they had moved to fast. Okay, no, she knew that, it was part of the reason that she had left that day, because they did move to fast. She shook her head, and stopped walking when she heard the calming sound of a waterfall. That was an odd sound to hear coming from somewhere this far into a jungle. Wait, how far was she in this jungle? She opened her map, and noticed her exact location and sighed. It was going to take her a while to get back to town after she relaxes here, wasn't it?

Relax. Was that something that she was actually capable of anymore? Perhaps before, but now, now she just ran a mile a minute, not wanting to slow down. She was always scared now that something new was going to go wrong, and it was going to be her fault, again.

She stopped in her tracks, so, Tala had been right. There were things that she had been hiding from Koga. That stung to really think about. She really didn't want to think that the little brat had been right in any way, but now, well, she knew that she had been. Noctua just sighed, she really was stupid, wasn't she? That thought made her chuckle, because she knew that she was. Look at what she has done in just a years time after all. She started to walk again, and only then noticed that she wasn't on the trail anymore. She looked around, but just shrugged. It wasn't like anyone would know where to look for her if she didn't get back.

She didn't even leave a note for Koga this time. That wasn't what friends did, right? She didn't know, and she didn't need him attempting to become some stupid knight in shining armor to try and save her from, well, herself. There was no saving her from that, she was always with her inner demons, and she was always shoving them so far down that she didn't need to worry about them coming out to talk for her. She made sure of that after being kidnapped. That made her shudder for a moment, not from fear or cold, but just from remembering being stuck in that prison.

It hadn't even been a normal one, just a run down one. That was probably what still bothered her. She knew that nothing else would be able to happen, this was a game, and they were NPCs. Dead NPCs, she made sure of that. She huffed as she trudged on through the jungle. She didn't know what she was walking toward anymore at this point. She was just walking, and it was quite relaxing. Though, it did nothing to help calm her mind, that was still going a million thoughts a minute. So many thoughts and possibilities of what could have happened have passed through her mind, that she was actually gaining a headache.

Was that possible? Probably not, it was probably just her subconscious playing a game with her. Like how some might act drunk even though it's not possible to happen in this game. Or, she was just stressing so much that she has actually given herself a headache through the parameters of the game. Wouldn't that be something interesting to figure out when this was all said and done with. Not really. She hated headaches on a normal day. Trying to figure out if this was a real one would hurt enough on its own to create a migraine, and she hated those even more.

She stopped and put her forehead into the palm of her right hand. She had a feeling that she was just imagining this headache, that was the only thing that would make sense in this game of death. But even still, that hadn't stopped her from noticing a soft glow off in the distance. What was that?

No, she hated the jungle. It was always hot and humid, something that she tried so hard to stay away from. She would get cranky when she gets too hot, and well, humidity didn't help with that because it always just seemed to enhance that heat. At least to her that is. But then, she's always been picky when it comes to weather. She's always been the type of person who likes the weather being at a steady temperature. Preferably one that was perfect for going to the beach. Was that too much to ask for when going about to do things like this? Apparently.

She just kept walking through the jungle, not really keeping track of where she was headed really. It was odd, walking in the jungle seemed to be more relaxing than sitting in her and Koga's shop. Perhaps that was because she didn't have the constant reminder of what she had done in the past here? When she really thought about it, that did make sense in a way. No need to stress on if she was going to create any kind of tension here. No need to worry about if things were going to be awkward. It was just herself here. Just herself and no one else. No one to bother her, and no one to make her remember her past mistakes.

Thinking just on that was painful enough, but she kept going. There was no true point in wondering what she could have changed. She couldn't rewind time and change anything. She had messed it all up, and she knew that. She learned the hard way just how badly she actually messed up. Funny how things could work like that. Sure, Koga said that they could still be friends. But what exactly did that entail? She had never had friends before now. She was always a loner, and for reasons that she kept to herself. Reasons that even Koga didn't know, because she didn't want a pity party or to push him away unintentionally. But then, she's already done that, hasn't she?

She just sighed as she continued to walk. The jungle seemed to get thicker, and she still hadn't noticed. Hell, she hadn't even noticed that she was no longer on the trail that she had been on mere minutes ago. Instead, now, she was off the beaten path, just roaming. Exploring, without exploring. Her body was in the exploration, but her mind and heart weren't. They were conflicted. Torn. Hurt. Confused. Mainly confused. She didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to act when being just a friend? That wasn't something that she had to do in the past, not even in the real world. She hadn't had friends before. Even the people in this game who call her a friend, she didn't know how to act around them. Koga had always been the only one who saw the real her, and now she didn't know if he was supposed to.

That had been the oddest dream. She opened her eyes, trying to figure out if the darkness that had swept over Aincrad was real or not. Seeing as how she was still alive and in the shop, then either it had been real, or some really odd dream. She really didn't want the answer to that honestly, but it hadn't stopped her from feeling like she had some kind of block in her mind and heart now. What was it that was holding her back now? What was it that was confusing her so much that she just didn't know what to think or do? She didn't know, but she wanted it gone. She knew that she had changed over the year that she had vanished from everyone's lives. But that didn't mean that she had to stay changed, right?

There was a blinking on her HUD though, and it was starting to annoy the crap out of her, so she opened the notification and noticed that all of her skills and the like had been reset. Even her health and energy levels were different. She didn't know what happened, and now she was just confused. This wasn't exactly normal, but that was okay, right? She sighed lightly and just shook her head as she started to reallocate her skills, only to notice that she was able to get more than before and that she was stronger now. That was a nice thing. Even her rapier and jacket were stronger, and she noticed that her jacket had turned to cloth armor. She could work with that, it meant that she would be able to move just a little better.

She did put most of her skills into healing skills though, actively fighting just wasn't for her, she noticed that already. So now, she could at least be able to keep her friends alive a little better. She took a look at her skills though and knew what she wanted to do, or well needed to do. She needed to calm herself, and not just on the outside how she always showed herself. But on the inside as well. She had heard about a place like that on the sixth floor, but she had never gone to visit it. Perhaps, now was the time to do so. She didn't waste time in getting Athena settled on her wrist, the owl deciding that she liked that form better right now.

With everything ready, she decided that a little extra energy regeneration during combat would be good, because she had a feeling that she'd be entering that, so she ate her fish snack that would help with that. The next step, teleporting to the sixth floor. She walked out of the shop, locking it, and headed to the teleporter. Soon, she was engulfed in the blue light as she was brought to the sixth floor, a floor full of jungles, something that wasn't normal for her. She didn't like that.

Current Level: 32
Current SP: 107
Link to SP Tracking: 

Notes:
None, I think.

There it was, it dawned on him fina-... well, at least she didn't need to worry about them sharing the shop then. At least he lives comfortably, so that was a good thing to think about. "I don't think I have to worry about her bothering me." She knew that he was trying to make things feel a little lighter, but there was still some issues at just thinking about Tala being near her. She pushed that aside though and just looked at Koga. Furthermore, she didn't know what else to really say right now, so it felt like it was going to get a little awkward. "Thank you Koga." She didn't know what else to say, at all. She felt like she was starting to go back to how she was when she first met Koga. That probably wasn't entirely a good thing, but she couldn't help it. She turned to her desk though and moved Noctua to where she was on her perch again.

@Koga

Thread Summary:
Everyone - 2 SP (1 Thread + 1 Event)
200 Col

She stared at him and rolled her eyes. He wasn't getting the meaning behind what she was saying at all, and that actually made her sigh a little. There had to be an easy way to explain to him that she had nowhere else to go, so she'd be sleeping here. Actually, that was probably the only way to explain it. "I have nowhere else to go Koga, I'm saying offering to move my shop because I'm going to be living there, or here I guess." She just looked at Athena again, as the heavier topic came around.

"I know Koga, and yeah, that's fine." She tried to be happy with that, but there was still a bit of pain under her words. But, she knew that he had a point, it was part of the reason she left that day. She just didn't want to face the fact that there possibly could be someone else. But at the same time, that might be good for him, no need to worry about Noct being flighty on him again, right?

@Koga

Now he was having a hard time with his words. This was something that she didn't know what to think, and it bothered her a bit. But, she ignored that and just smiled with a small nod, then came the part that she knew was going to come up. She sighed lightly, and just nodded her head a little, "I know." No, she wasn't going to fight his logic, she knew that he was right. Hell, she left him at the alter after all, so she didn't blame him at all.

Yes, it did sadden her to not only hear it, but to agree with it as well. She held back a sigh and stared at Athena for a few moments before she looked at Koga, thankfully not crying and feeling fine, and a small smile being on her face. "I'm certain that I can find a new place for my shop, so that things don't get awkward here." Besides, she was running out of Col to live in an inn at this point, and she didn't feel safe going out to do any kind of quests right now.

@Koga

Her sarcastic quirk was met with one of his own in return, and that made her just stare at him. This felt like old times, back before she did the dumb and ran away. "Well excuse me for not being well versed in this as well!" There was a small laugh that came afterwards, and she just sighed, shaking her head lightly before the smile vanished. "That almost made things feel normal again...."

She was quiet again for a little while as he spoke again, and she nodded in return. But, she looked at him, and he was just staring at her. She stared back at him for a few moments, before she broke the silence. "Did... did I do something?" She didn't know what was going on here, or why it was going on, she just knew that she was being stared at, and it almost made her feel like she had done something wrong, again.

@Koga

The amazement that was written all over his face, actually made her chuckle lightly. That was something that she hadn't seen on his face in over a year now, and it was a blessing to see really. And then it was gone. Just like that. She raised an eyebrow though and just stared at him, her fingers still lightly running over Athena's feathers. "I don't know Mas, I was kind of unconscious y'know." The sarcasm was there, and it was something that would remind Koga of her old self.

"Since they were all NPCs, I doubt anything that you are thinking happened, if that could even happen in this game anyways." She looked at him though, trying to read him still, it was probably difficult to do since she hasn't seen him or talked to him in so long, but right now, it was a little relaxing. But, she didn't say anything else yet, she was waiting to see if he was going to throw the sarcasm back at her really.

@Koga

She had been in the process of trying to find more words when he asked about Athena. "Oh, one second." There was a little more strength in her voice than before, probably because it was starting to sink into her mind that she was safe here, she wasn't about to get drugged and kidnapped once more. But, she looked at the bracelet on her wrist and lightly rubbed a finger on it, "Come on Athena, no more worrying Koga."

A blue light wrapped around the bracelet for a moment before that light moved to her lap. Within that light was her pretty snowy white owl, who gave a happy sounding hoot. Was that because she and Koga were talking, or because they were no longer in that prison? "She learned this trick while we were sneaking out of the bandit's prison. I think she got comfortable not having to fly after me, so she stayed like that."

Noctua went from picking at her fingernails to lightly stroking the owl's white feathers. "....Mas, I woke up in rags...." There it was, the part of the entire encounter that had bothered her the most.

@Koga

The walk from the teleporter to the shop was still quiet. Was she supposed to talk first? Did he want to wait until they got to the shop to say anything? Noctua didn't know, but she just walked after him, her left thumb picking at the nail on her left ring finger. She'd pick at the nails on her right hand, but well, she couldn't just yet. She did notice that her hand was less swollen now, so that was a good thing.

She walked into the shop quietly after Koga unlocked the door, and she walked over to her desk, sitting in her chair. She was honestly surprised that Koga hadn't asked about Athena yet. Noctua did lightly brush a finger on the new bracelet on her wrist, but the owl was still content being where she was. That was fine by Noctua, Athena has found a way to be carried that she liked now. After a few, possibly agonizing, seconds of silence, she sighed lightly.

"I'm sorry that I've been so... horrible. I... was trying to ignore everything and my old mentality of dealing with people at school kicked in...." Her voice was quiet, probably quiet enough to make Koga have to move closer or ask her to repeat herself. She didn't know what else to say, well, she did, but she didn't know if she should say it. "I know you still need time... so once I'm certain that bandits aren't going to drug me again, I'll head to the inn."

She took a moment to dig through her desk and found a healing crystal and used it on her hand. She flexed her fingers for a few moments before she started to pick at her fingernails full force now.

@Koga

Had he been about to say home? She didn't know if she even had one of those here anymore. She wasn't going to inquire though, no need to. They weren't dating, engaged, or married, so it wasn't like she *had* to know, no matter how much that simple thought actually hurt her to think it. Oh well, she had done this to herself really. She just had to accept it, no matter how difficult that reality was.

He did take a hold of her left hand though, and no matter how familiar and right it might have felt, right now, it felt like a foreboding sign. She was about to actually apologize to him for just about everything that she has done wrong, including the things that she had said to him, and he was holding her hand? That didn't make complete sense to her, but she just kept quiet as she walked to the teleporter with him.

The walk seemed to be long because of the silence and the tenseness, that was mostly coming from her at this point, but she used that time to think. It wasn't until they got to the teleporter did she remove her hand from his. She stepped onto the teleporter, and even then, her words were quiet, "Town of Beginnings...." Enveloped in the blue light, she was soon on the first floor once more, and she moved to the side to wait for Koga.

@Koga