[PP-Shop-F1] Fallout (Kiru)

[Oikawa 1]

Home. The smell of a burning furnace and refined ore, was a welcomed one and the sight of his familiar King was equally welcomed. Unhitching his cloak, he rested it on the coat rack behind the door as he shut it. Making his way to one of the leather seats arranged about the shop. He plopped down in the chair and sat. King, the loving companion that he is immediately took note of the change in color of his cursor. Rather than keep distant, the cub sleeked across the shop and curled up into the blonde's lap.

The two sat in silence. The rhythmic thumping of their hearts were the only things that could be heard. Time passed. Minutes to hours in seconds it seemed. He still felt nothing. No pain, no anger, no remorse or guilt. Just empty. His mind flashed to those he cared about. His friends and family coming to mind, but along with those thoughts came the fear of disappoint. A feeling he hadn't felt since before he was in Aincrad. He surely disappointed his family and even more so his friends. Both here and out there.

His face sunk, sullen at the thought of one person in particular. The one he thought about the most before committing the act, and the one he would undoubtedly lose because of it all...

Kiru.

She needs to know. And I need to be the one to tell her.

Drafting up a PM, the blonde sent her a request to meet him here, in his shop. Hitting send, he slouched back into his chair and closed his eyes. What was about to to come would be far more taxing than anything he had dealt with.

[Kiru 0]

(Didn't know how to start- this is such an important thread and I don't wanna screw it up lol) 

My fingers gripped the sides my my head as I sat on the edge of Zelrius' bed, elbows on knees and head hung. I took in a deep breath but it did no good, there was no calm to pass over me. I had lost track days ago how long I had spent alone in the guild hall, but I knew it had been at least a week. The information and rumors were still settling in, etching itself painfully into my heart ridden with holes. Tristan disappeared, Dom and Zelrius were both killed before the boss battle had begun. It was absolutely unbelievable to me as to how someone could not only kill the two of them, but not be mobbed after doing so. To be quite frank, it made no sense. Whoever did it knew that it would cause a ripple effect for me and possibly a few others. It was an intentional murder; and with Tristan suddenly gifting me a replica of Zelrius' cloak and leaving I formed a suspicion that whoever had the nerve to strike Zelrius down was targeting the entire Azure Brigade. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, exhaling through my nose deeply. This was on purpose, and obviously they wanted some sort of response. "So why not give them one?" I thought, feeling my mouth twinge ever so slightly at the thought. "I wonder if it's a friend of Dai, hm, that should be interesting." 

I opened my eyes to the sound of a PM. I immediately looked at the sender only to be disappointed. I was still hanging on to the very small hope that Zelrius was still alive- that he was the sender telling me to meet with him to hang out like old times. But it wasn't, it was Oikawa. I sighed as my dull eyes scanned over every letter, every word, every sentence before me. I blinked slowly and stood up involuntarily, almost as if I was on autopilot. I quietly walked to the doorway, but turned back again to get one last glance at the golden commandant's room. I opened my inventory and pulled out my starter dagger and the plushie of Zelrius that was given to me by Lowenthal. I gently set them both on the bed spread and left the room, closing the door behind me and exiting to the main entrance. Before I pressed open the doors I equipped a familiar golden cloak with the Azure logo on the back. It sadly was not Zelrius', but it was pretty darn close and would probably serve as the only living memory of him.  

It felt like just a matter of minutes until I was in front of The Grand Foji, Oikawa's shop. I opened the door and stepped inside, seeing right away where Oikawa was sitting. I made my way over to him and leaned against one of the chairs. I took off my hood and went to brush my bangs from my face but stopped in mid-motion. My face probably didn't look the best right now considering that I hadn't slept in awhile due to my constant and never ending thoughts pulling me away from daily tasks. I continued to brush my bangs from my face, knowing that it wasn't right for me to hide my face for what I was going to do. I moved them to reveal my eyes looking somehow dim, or not as vibrant as they usually were, my cheeks didn't have coloring against my porcelain skin, and under my eyes were irritated red marks and a few cuts from my encounter with Dai. I wasn't going to hide that I had crying- not to Oikawa, the one person in this game that I actually trusted. I looked up from the ground, to the blonde. Over his head hung an orange cursor.  

"I guess you have a temper too? I won't go into details unless you ask but I too have killed someone, a player killer, so I'm not orange. I don't have the cursor but I have the marks." As I finished my last word I lifted my shirt just above my stomach to reveal the point where Dai had dug his sword multiple times, over and over again. I pulled my shirt back down and went onward with my conversation.  "I really would like to know how you turned orange before I leave, but I'm afraid I have no time to spare. So please, whatever you have to say, spit it out." 

With a few swipes I pulled my black commandants cloak from the Azure Brigade and folded it nicely. I placed it on the chair beside me and smiled as I continued to place the shield he gave me for Christmas, and the last of my recovery potions on top of it. 

"He disappeared from my friend's list a couple days ago. Oikawa, take after these items for me. I'm going after the killer of Zelrius. I'm mostly likely gonna die- and you said you would certainly not march to death beside me, so I won't ask you to. You're not like Keith so I know you won't physically keep me from doing so, but if you try to persuade me it wont work. " 

[Oikawa 1]

Wood creaked and light leaked into the small shop as a hooded figure stepped into the frame. His lid lifted slowly, revealing crimson irises that now danced across the petite lass that now entered his shop. He knew who it was but she didn't reveal herself until she was seated in the chair across from his own. She lifted the hood from her face. Traces of tears and lack of sleep dotted her features as she brushed her bangs aside. Hesitance lingered on her fingertips; judging whether or not she should reveal what he could already assume. He remained quiet until she settled into her own seat and shifted her gaze to his own.

He watched as her icy blue eyes hovered on his before drifting up to the no-doubt out of place orange cursor that hovered above his head. For the first time since they had been in his lobby, a word was spoken. She mentioned the cursor, as well as speaking briefly on her actions regarding taking the life of another. he himself wanted to know more, and she provided a more insight as if reading his mind. Though he still didn't have the 'why', he realized that it had been handled and it was no real reason in bringing up the past.

Readjusting himself, he sat straighter though he leaned in closer to Kiru. His eyes searching for hers. He needed to say this directly to her. Before parting his lips to speak, he reached over to the materials she had prepared to give to him, the shield in particular, and placed it on her lap. Looking back up to her, tears begin to swell in his lids. The words that were to come would cause the same reaction for her no doubt but he was sure the reason the droplets that fell from her eyes, would be different from his own. Taking in a deeper breath, he spoke.

"You needn't go anywhere love. The person you seek is right here before you. I. Killed. Zelrius." The words rolled off his tongue, one after the other. Definitive and concise. Clear with no stutter or pause. He searched her eyes for any hint of emotion, hatred, disbelief, sadness, pain, he searched for it all. He held his gaze to hers a little longer and continued. "Why, is a question you asked earlier. There's no clear answer as I'm still in as much disbelief as you. A mixture of jealously, hatred, and disdain swelled within me. Part of me did it for you, part of me did it because of you, part of me did it for myself, and another part of me did it for others. The worst part is, now most of me, regrets all of it and its not something I can fix. I took the life of another. Your friend. Your lover. I took that from YOU. If you've come to take revenge," he paused, swiping on his menu and un-equipping all his actual gear, leaving nothing but vanity clothing and a vanity cape. "Then take it. I deserve it. You deserve it. Hell, even Manta deserves it. But if I am to go out this way, I'd rather it be by one of the few people I care about."

His eyes, now streaming with tears, remained fixated on Kiru.

"Kiru, please say something?"

Edited April 29, 2016 by Oikawa

[Kiru 0]

I allowed the items to be placed on my lap after I sat down. Even if just for a moment, I would allow him to be in a state of disbelief or denial. This wasn't the most logical thing for me to do with my life right now. I was sure that Zelrius would have wanted me to take after the guild and become the strongest. Tristan wouldn't want me to resort to violence. Keith would have made it clear that a mission was necessary, but only if I wasn't the one to do it. Either way, none of them would have wanted me to do what I was doing, and I could say the same for Oikawa. Or at least that's what I thought he meant by returning my items to me.

There was a certain tone to his voice on the very first words that slipped from his mouth. It was like whatever would part from his lips were a poison to him that he needed to expel, and with every word it became more clear as to why it wasn't the easiest thing to tell me. As the venomous words spoken by such an ethereal guy filled the air, my world paused. I felt my heart beat quicken just a little and my mouth go dry. However, with the various emotions flooding through every hole of my heart, I could not cry. There was a physically boundary that I had crossed days ago, I simply had no tears left, so I did the worst thing possible: sat in silence. Only white noise filled the room for a few moments while I stared into the eyes of a traitor. Oikawa was the last person I would ever accuse of murder, yet here he was, confessing that he was the one whom had killed Zelrius, my best friend and possibly the last person to fully understand my mind. Of course saying that, I was probably the only one who had seen him vulnerable so many times. I was there when he wasn't the owner of Azure, when he was just kid. I was there when he didn't want me to leave because I was family. And like me, he was there for me in every aspect. The sad thing was that all the time we spent trying to protect each other we were actually hurting the other, driving ourselves deeper into despair. No one else knew that about Zelrius, heck they even blamed him for the last boss fight. Everyone thought he was an arrogant jerk who had no feelings, but they were so wrong. He way more than that, like me. So here I sat, listless, in front of the killer of Zelrius as he attempted to explain himself through tears. 

"Oikawa," there was a slight pause in my response. Part of me wanted to scream, I'm sure that's what I would have done a year ago. Another part of me wanted to forgive him for it- he was close to me after all. I'm sure Oikawa had at least one reason that I could understand. But the darkest part of all wanted to kill him right then and there. I was told by Keith once that he wasn't sure which side I was on, the Mavericks or the hunters; and in this moment I wasn't quite sure myself. After all, I did just commit a crime not even a couple days ago. "You ask me for words but I'm afraid I have none." 

"There isn't much for me to say is there?" I stated, tracing my finger over the detailing etched into the shield on my lap. I looked from it, to the blonde with a frown. "You really did kill him? You aren't covering for someone right?" I asked, knowing that there was absolutely no way that Oikawa was making up a story or taking the fall for another player killer. He killed Zelrius before the boss battle, before the golden boy had the chance to meet with me once more. "Why? For me? But, why for me? Because of me?" These answers couldn't make sense, could they? 

The poison that had come from inside Oikawa had sunk into the floor and stained it. It stained me as well, creating a discoloration in my view, meaning that Oikawa wasn't the young blonde apprentice anymore no matter how much I wanted. No, now he was a vampire, reaping me of my blood. (family) And it stung, I didn't want to believe that Oikawa was really the person behind all of this. I knew that if he wasn't the young blonde Keith and I had trained I would have possibly gotten violent and this would have already been over by now. 

My eyes stung and my head hurt. My lip began to quiver. "How am I supposed to prevent those deaths when my friends are killing each other? Huh? If I'm a Maverick hunter, my job right now would be to kill you or send you to Aincrad jail. But I don't want to, Oikawa I really don't want to believe that you murdered him. Because if you did I wouldn't have a choice- I'd be obligated to do it."

"If you actually did and I did nothing about it because you're my friend then I'm no better than a Player Killer. Though, technically I am one, I'm probably worse because I don't have an orange cursor." 

Edited April 30, 2016 by Kiru

[Oikawa 1]

"I wish it wasn't true. I wish it was just as simple as saying I'm covering for someone else, but alas, I cannot bring myself to lie to you. I killed Zelrius," explained the blonde as he sat back in his chair. Tears continued to gather in his lids before rolling down his face. An ivory sleeve raised to his face as he attempted to relieve his cheeks of the watery streams. Glancing back up to the two-tone haired girl, he opened his mouth to explain further but choked up as she continued. She asked why. Why for her, why because of her. He was sure she knew by now where he stood in terms of his feelings for her but in case she didn't, he reiterated as clearly as possible.

"I have feelings for you Kiru. I've always have. Ever since the days in the field with Keith, you and myself. Back then I chose to not say anything, it was obvious despite how different you two were, you were happy with Keith. After his disappearance, while it took time, it seemed you began to move on. What I neglected to notice was that you seemed to begin developing feelings for Zelrius. Or maybe I did and that's what angered me the most because he seemed to just string you along. I mean he was involved with other girls after all. He even began dating Manta after a while. But that was only a part of why. He's self centered, manipulative and to be curt, an a**hole. But that's just my observation. I don't know what all he was to you, or how deep you two connected. All I can say is that I deeply apologize for what I have done and if you must take action, then do it. You are my friend. One of the few I have left, and I know where you stand as being a Maverick Hunter. I can't promise you that I will take <Redemption>, at least not right now. I need time away from those in Aincrad. Being orange has helped with that. You are a far better and stronger person than myself. I need time to think. But you also need to act. So decide right here and now what you plan to do."

Her eyes watered and her frame shook, and he knew how hard this was for her. She was torn between being a maverick hunter and a friend. Not only that but the person she would be hunting is also her friend who, to make matters more difficult, is the one who killed her last remaining best friend. Oikawa simply shook his head and sighed. He didn't know what else to say, aside from addressing her last few questions that were more than likely rhetorical anyhow. "I can't provide an answer to how you can prevent those deaths, but I can say this. While I wasn't entirely in my right mind when committing the act, the thoughts that led up to it were all my own. So if you need to place me in jail or execute me decide now, otherwise I will take my leave and never bother you again. At least until I can figure myself out. You deserve far better than this... Than me..."

Edited June 1, 2016 by Oikawa

[Kiru 0]

I shook my head as Oikawa spoke, I could not believe this. Oikawa was a gentle soul, always in white and never losing his temper over trivial things. He sat in front of me in a state I would have never wanted to see him in. He was an absolute mess telling me that he cut down Zelrius, explaining that it was all of his own volition. Though he said it, it couldn't sink in that someone like him would have been able to do such a thing. 

I closed my eyes and focused breathing through my nose in order to take a calm look at this situation. Something was off. I knew the part about Oikawa being infatuated with me was true, but Oikawa wouldn't be the type of person to actually go through with something as life-altering as this. He was not the type of person to get jealous and act on it like this. Sadly, he would have kept it to himself. While he was talking about Zelrius I nodded a few times but I allowed my mind to wander in the possibilities until I settled on a few. 

"Alright, so here's the deal," I picked up the shield and the cloak, along with the potions, and placed them on the seat next to me. I stood up with my arms crossed, not entirely looking satisfied, but not looking as angered as before. "I am going to do this once. Oikawa, you're my last remaining friend and although you literally just did the stupidest thing that you could have done, I am going to choose to not kill you because I believe that yes, you had intent, but you didn't do it all of your own conscience." I sighed for a moment, thinking if I should really just pardon his crime. I traced my eyes to his, and felt a pang of guilt, he looked miserable. "I think there are three possibilities to this story. Number one: you in fact did just murder my best friend simply because you didn't like the way he acted on the outside. Two: You aren't telling the entire story. Maybe he came at you first, and you just defended yourself. Though, Zelrius wouldn't kill anyone these days. Even for me. Zelrius did nothing but throw a sword to me so I could kill him. He watched me get stabbed and kicked and didn't act because he didn't want to kill anyone. I don't really care that he didn't do anything so let's move on to the next. Finally, number three: there was an outside force controlling your movements. Not your thoughts, but maybe a potion. Think, did you consume anything before arriving or shortly before the incident? This one seems the most plausible...." 

[Oikawa 1]

Her demeanor seemed to ease up after some time in silence. Her gaze frozen as she thought over what he had said. At least that's what he assumed she was remaining quiet for. Kiru wasn't one to be lost for words so easily.More silence followed. Allowing the blonde to not only calm himself but to come to terms that his last words were something that should stay with her should she decide to cut him down today. Resting his eyes, he leaned back in his seat and slowly opened them as Kiru stood and crossed her arms. Then she spoke.

With the silence lifted, he paid full attention to the girl as she explained her thoughts on what had transpired. She ran through three differing options of what she think could have happened. Keeping his expressions to the confines of his mind, he allowed her to completely finish before making any sort of movements or responses. As she mentioned the third option, a piece of the puzzle seemed to click within him and her question trailing her words, was now a seemingly easy answer. Sitting up, he laced his fingers and rested his head on the back of his hands.

Shifting his crimson gaze to meet her crystal blues, he chuckled at how silly he was for not realizing it sooner. Confidence brimmed with his tone as he spoke. He had an answer for the dual-toned haired lass. "I'm such an idiot. A potion. I should've figured Mari wasn't the only one capable of using mind-altering potions." Locking his eyes with hers, he continued. "A while back, Opal and I went on small getaway adventure. Just to talk and run through a dungeon I had found some time before. At the end of this getaway, she offered me a potion to help calm my nerves as at the time stress was higher than usual. I think back and it makes sense that if the potion affected me in a negative way that could induce my actions and thoughts, that they may be the reason I finally snapped and attacked Zel despite never intending to in the least."

[Kiru 0]

After I asked my last question I held one of my elbows and touched my thumb to my chin, pressing slightly as I began to pace around his shop. I decided now was not the time to be distracted by Oikawa's stock, however I let my eyes divert for just a moment. His work was great, and I was sure a lot of people would miss it if I decided to simply cut him down. I closed my eyes at the thought and paused behind the blonde. I imagined pulling my dagger from my back and sinking into his. "It would probably stain his cloak", I thought. I continued to pace around his shop. He wouldn't fight back, he said it himself. But I knew I already made my choice, Oikawa was here to stay, as far as I could help it at least. I then opened my eyes, strangely his were on mine as he spoke confidently. I raised an eyebrow at his laugh, but knew it was not meant to be taken incorrectly. 

"Of course it was a potion. Literally Oikawa there is nothing in you that could possibly cause you to actually explode with emotions," I thought, tempted to roll my eyes. Out of all the options I gave him, this was the most plausible and probably the best for the both of us. If someone gave him something then I could shift my focus to someone else and forget about Zelrius for a little while. It was a selfish request but it did not matter to me either way, as I was not the most compassionate or caring person when it came to feelings. At least not externally. 

The moment Oikawa said the word, "calm," I felt all the color drain from my face and my mouth go dry. I stiffened my gaze and avoided eye contact for the time being. I stared at the floor and remembered the calming potion in my inventory. Last time I took the potion I felt relaxed but my emotions were so sporadic that I laughed, I cried, and I broke down all at the same time. It was painfully embarrassing for me to recall but I was not in my right mind. I, personally could not remember the events, but players who were there told me I said some things that I never would have admitted even if threatened. I looked up at Oikawa and smiled just a little bit. "You don't happen to have any more of those do you? If you do I am begging you to please give them to me. If you really do want to help me in any way, then give them." I said, walking towards him. He didn't know that they were addictive. If you drank more than one then you would certainly be crawling back to the alchemist for more, wasting all your money Mari did that on purpose because she liked watching the virtual world burn- and at one point so did I. "Even though you said that Opal gave you it, I still need any extras you have." 

"Opal," I repeated the name in my head until I recognized her. The white haired leader of the KOB guild. She's the one I was going to go after, not Oikawa. I smirked and pressed my hands together, Well, it seems you're not to blame...entirely. But anyways, I will have a nice chat with this Opal," As I awaited any potions from him, my smirk died down, "I really would not like you to come with me. Especially if it's Opal, the woman who gave you those potions. I do not plan on being violent, because I know she would kill me, however, if she tries anything...that's another story."  

Edited July 20, 2016 by Kiru

[Oikawa 1]

An eyebrow raised from the blonde as he watched Kiru seemingly ingest all the information he had spewed. She paced about the shop. Her eyes roaming from one thing to the next as thoughts rolled over in that meticulous mind of hers. His own began to shake as he realized just how much of an idiot he truly was. Trusting a drink from an alchemist should be one of the few things he knows better of. Sadly not even he was safe from the wrath of temptation and malice. As he watched her features, he noted the changes in them as one emotion after the other filtered from her face. Concern, an expression he now wore as she turned to him and began to speak.

Concern remained and invited worry as his mind fumbled over her request. Even if I had more potions, what did she intend to do with them? She's seemingly more flippant and spur of the moment without anything to hold her back. No Keith, no Zel...no me. I'm more cautious of what she plans to do at this little meet up with Opal. Surely she understands that Opal is for all intents and purposes the new Mari, yet she isn't prone to the same volatile emotions the pinkette was known for. She is calculated and ruthless, murder is as easy for her as it is for us to eat and sleep. Not sure about this at all.

"Kiru, even if I had more potions, I'm not so sure I'd be inclined to hand them over. I'd rather them destroyed than stored. But to ease your mind and my own, there is no potions to be given thankfully. She only ever gave me the one I already consumed. That said, you're foolish to think I want track you if you made any moves that would even hint at you going to antagonize that witch. She has done enough as is and I don't want to have to don this crystal for killing hr because you did something so irresponsible. Think with your head for a moment lass. Confronting her will accomplish what? Especially when even if you could defend yourself, you are still levels below her and that alone is enough to get you killed."

[Kiru 0]

My hands, previously pressed together while waiting, dropped to my sides like dead weight. I stopped behind my chair and looked at Oikawa with both confusion and anger. "Does he even know what he's saying?" I thought and gripped the back of the chair. Of course, instead of losing my temper as per usual, I let him finished and actually tried to understand what he was saying. Though most of it flew totally over my head I still caught on to most of it.  "If you had more potions I would trust that you would give them to me. Oikawa, those potions are addictive so even after two times of consumption you would be going back to Opal, buying more and more until she could have something on you. She could make you do stuff for her, because that's the type of person Opal is based on your description. She's a lot like Mari, but she's also way different," I loosened my hands slightly from the chair when he informed me that there weren't any left. I almost let out a sigh of relief but figured it was not really appropriate. It was true that the potions should be destroyed but there was no way I would do that. After all, I still had one in my inventory. There was only a one percent chance of using it for myself, however. I kept it for PK hunting purposes. 

I cleared my throat and looked at Oikawa, "I didn't think you would want to come," As said before, he would not run into death to save someone because he valued his life and was too smart to do something so stupid. I guess that's was parted Oikawa and I, instinct. "Irresponsible? Hm, doesn't that sound familiar coming from the one who blindly trusted an Alchemist?" I asked, and immediately regretted it. I haven't talked to anyone like that in awhile and it was painful to think that I used to do this all the time. Even so, I continued, "I have already thought about it. Sure, talking with Opal may not do anything, but warning her or threats might. I understand that she will have no reason not to kill me but this is something that I've already decided. I came here looking for Zel's killer, and I found her so of course I'm going to follow through with this." I faced away from Oikawa for a moment and thought, "At least all the attention will drift from her new targets and the rest of Azure." 

[Oikawa 1]

Crimson eyes slowly widened as the two-tone haired girl continued to insist that she go 'talk' to Opal. Oikawa couldn't even begin to fathom the words that were coming from the mouth of his friend. "Kiru, you don't seriously think threatening her will do anything, do you? You can't possible believe that's a good idea? Can you?" His eyes, pleading in a way of their own, searched for hers.

Now standing, the caped player moved to put himself directly in front of Kiru. A gloved hand moving from his side to her shoulder, as his eyes forced a meeting with hers. "There's gotta be a smarter way to go about this. Going to her under-leveled and acting all high and mighty, will cross your name out faster than you can say Azure Brigade. I don't want to lose you Kiru. I've already lost contact with Rebekah and Tristan has went off the grid. You are literally all I have left and frankly you are one of the few people who understands what happened. I need you to stay alive. For my sake if nothing else. Going to Opal right now, is a suicide mission. There is no outcome that says otherwise. Given your extended time away from the Frontlines, you have severely fallen behind in level and that will only hinder you until you decide you're ready to be at the top again."

Sighing, he removed his hand from her shoulder, and just kept eye contact. "Until you rise in level, I cannot, no, I will not allow you to go see Opal. And if you have an issue with that, we cans settle it here. I will NOT allow you to go as its suicide for you and I ...still love you. I can't lose you to the likes of her. I just can't," mumbled the blonde as his eyes broke contact with hers and leveled with the ground.

[Kiru 0]

I shifted my weight and crossed my arms. "Actually no, I think it's the worst idea in this situation other than coming up with an elaborate plan "to hunt her and the guild down. But what am I supposed to do right now, Oikawa?" I asked, uncrossing my arms out of frustration. I could not think of any other logical thing to do right now. After all, when was I ever logical? I sighed and continued, "Threatening Opal is not my first priority if you were even listening to anything I said. I was going to talk with her, then if things start going bad I would tell her to back off or she was going to have a problem. Of course, 

As soon as I finished, the blonde stood up. He wasn't listening to me. Oikawa made his way over to me, clamping a gloved hand on one of my shoulders, and stared directly into my eyes. I didn't really want to look at him right now, but somehow I couldn't escape his crimson pools. I kept my head straight for a moment and listened again, which made me a smidge angry, "Oikawa, if there were another way to go about this, I would do it. However, since you cannot seem to think of any and I'm too stubborn to agree, this is what I'm going to do," He proceeded to talk about Rebekah and Tristan, saying that he had lost them. Saying that he did not want to lose me. Suddenly I felt a pang in my heart; Zel told me just about those exact same words. "I don't want to lose you either, that's why I'm doing this. Why can't you just understand?" I thought and looked away for a moment, only to return my icy gaze to his. This was definitely the worst thing to do, and I knew it would hurt him, but that's why. Zelrius did the exact same thing to me, and I hated it, but I was going to do it. Pushing Oikawa away for right now was the best option. I sucked in a small breath and laughed a little.   

The show was about to begin.

"Yeah isn't it hard for people to just disappear from you? That's rich coming from the one who just shoved a sword through Zelrius' back. Everyone I've met has gone, you're just not experiencing the after effects. You just killed my best friend and now you're trying to stop me? You can't just pick and choose who you affect you know. Tristan was long gone, he never wanted to be in the Brigade. Rebekah never cared. But neither did you. Oikawa, you've never been there for me. That night at the festival was a coincidence, nothing more. I know you don't feel that way because you just killed Zel," I said, knowing that he would take at least some of this to heart, "Oikawa, I've always acted like a queen, why stop now? Tell me, why should I just stop my plans because you suddenly feel remorse for the stuff you've done? I'm sick of it," This was so out of character for me, not for how I was, but for how I am. 

After he dropped his arm I felt like complete crap. This was not what I wanted. I wanted him to come with me, but he wouldn't. So I had to go, but only if he wouldn't stop me. "And how do you plan to stop me? You said that you wouldn't try and stop me. You said you wouldn't march to death with me? So how? How could you possibly stop me, Oikawa?" 

"And you can't lose me to her? Hm, that's a familiar feeling..." I closed my eyes, I couldn't look at him, "You don't really like me." 

[Oikawa 1]

What? Confusion echoing within his mind as Kiru uttered five seemingly harmless words, but to him, they all may as well have been daggers she kept around at the ready. Everything else she had stated went out the window. Covered under the debris that these five words carried. He hadn't expected that, he hadn't anticipated it. He, of all things to hurt him, let this one sentence get to him more than anything.

Suddenly he didn't feel like arguing anymore. No he felt like doing. His usually calm demeanor seemed but a distant memory as he tensed up and clenched his fists. He looked at Kiru. Her gaze gracing the ground as she avoided eye contact with the blonde. His words would fumble out and reach her, regardless if she looked at him so he spoke anyway. "If you truly think that Kiru, you are far more foolish than I once thought. But you know what, you are right. You've always acted like a queen. Why should I, a pawn, stop you hmm? I have no right. Hmph, I won't stop you. If you want to confront Opal, we go together. I'm done being the voice of reason. The supposed white knight of Aincrad. I sullied that name the second my rapier pierced the back of Zelrius."

Taking a breath, he brought up his menu to check the time. "Hmm, you claim I've never been their for you? Then don't push me away. This my final decree on the matter. I'm here for you, Calrex and Teayre. No one else. You three are my top priority. The festival was coincidence you claim? No, it was fate. And I finally realize that. You are a queen, so let me be your knight. Actually as it stands. You have no way to stop me. So lets settle this. We go after Opal. Simple as that. But regardless whatever your plan is. You need to level first. Otherwise if things do get hairy, Opal will end you and then I'll have to end her. I don't want to, but I will."

His crimson gaze searched for hers.

"Kiru, I am not asking for your permission. I'm telling you. You are my Queen. I am your knight. As for my claims earlier this evening. I realize now, I have nothing to lose. So why not march to the death with the one I love?"

[Kiru 0]

There was a slight silence, but my heart beat was so loud that I could have sworn he could hear it. It hurt, everything did. Lying to Oikawa had to be pretty high up in my list of mistakes, (which was pretty long,) but after everything I felt as if there was no other way to get him to back off. After all, I did come in here for his help in a blind rage. 

Though I tried to keep my gaze from him, I could not help but to look when he began to speak. I glanced down at his hands and noted the tension building. I had hurt him. I bit lip and attempted to focus on something else but it did nothing. In the end I still had to look at him. This time, however, he looked a little bit calmer. He began to comment about his loyalty to me, to his, "queen." That he was a mere pawn in this mess of a game, and owed his company to me as I went with Opal. This wasn't what I was expecting, I wanted him to be angry, to be outraged and demand I leave. 

Now my hands were clenched. I felt tears building behind my eyes but I forced them back. I wasn't expecting this, but deep down I was hoping for it. "Oikawa, you've always been there," I said, or at least that's what I wanted to say. I took in a deep breath, "A pawn you say? You've never been more than canon fodder, even on that quest with Keith. However, if you truly believe yourself to be of worth to me, you'd leave," I said, anticipating his next words. However, the ones he spoke were different from the ones inside my head. Boy, was he stubborn. But so was I. 

"No, you've never been there, nor will I give you the chance to. You come crawling back to me, expecting that even after attempting to prove yourself to me that I would forgive you for murdering him, potion or not you had intent. And I bet that's what you said to Zel, right? That he was part of your top priority?  I guess that didn't get very far now did it? There is no fate, and if there was, do you really think that I would allow you to get close to be after what you've done? You're probably working with Opal...you're trying to kill me aren't you?" I knew of course that none of this was true, as Oikawa was literally the most trustworthy person in my life right now. But anything would do right now, anything.

I searched the ground for a moment, but it was too late, the next words from the blonde's mouth were too much. "I am not asking for your permission. I'm telling you. You are my Queen. I am your knight. As for my claims earlier this evening. I realize now, I have nothing to lose. So why not march to the death with the one I love?" I heard them over and over again, each time I felt a pang of guilt. Suddenly I felt a tear. Then, for the second time that night, I began to cry like the coward I was. I covered my eyes, pretending to scratch my forehead while I attempted to keep my composure and facade in place. Somehow, the words, "I'm sorry, my knight," escaped my mouth during the process, which I never even though, the words just seemed to spill now.  

[Oikawa 1]

Tears welled up and dripped; muffled only by the hand used to cover them, feigning something closer to scratching. Oikawa knew better however. He moved to console her, but paused midway. His gaze lingered. His heart thumped and the surrounding area seemed to slow as if time had suddenly taken a break from its natural flow. She had apologized. Kiru had apologized. 'The Perfectionist', 'Laughing Killer', 'Ice Queen' Kiru had broken down to tears and offered the blonde the first words he whole-heartedly felt were sincere since their conversation earlier. He lightly placed a hand over her head and brought her lightly shaking frame close.

"You need not to apologize Kiru. You can't hide that fear you harbor. You are just as terrified as I am. Losing you would be too much." The blonde saw through her facade. He saw through it all. He'd be a fool to believe the words the girl hissed at him. He knew himself and frankly she knew him too. "Like I said, I can't stop you from doing what you want, but Opal will have hell to pay if even one hair upon your head is disheveled."

Arms dropped as he released the girl from his embrace. Crimson eyes searched for any sign of what whirled around in her mind. Her gaze had yet to cross his own and he wasn't sure if anything he said even made it to her, but if nothing else, he hoped his feelings resonated. Whether or not she reciprocated them mattered little to him. He planned to be by her side through it all.

[Kiru 0]

For a moment, I could feel everything around me crumbling. It was like the wall I had built over and over again wouldn't hold this time. I wiped my hands over my eyes again and again, each time feeling more and more less in control of my own emotions. It could be seen in the amount of times had Oikawa seen me cry? This was probably the third including today and the Festival, which was embarrassing. It seemed that every time he had seen me I was just a flaming ball of emotion, or rather an icicle in the sense that I didn't like to share them with the people I was supposed to be teaching. In the end, Oikawa and the people I had met early on in the game were way above me now. To them I was probably just an unstable girl whining about everything because she had a low level. 

Suddenly I felt a hand on my head. If I had a way to describe the feeling, it would be someone pulling me in from the cold. And metaphorically, my own cold that I had made. The blonde brought me closer, almost hugging me. I allowed him to do so. It was the best I could do considering all of the things I had just said to him. It felt right, being in front of Oikawa at this time, killing him would have done nothing but cause more to flood onto my plate. I smiled silently. 

"Yes I do. You know I owe more apologies than I could ever give. I'm sorry, truly," I said, holding my tongue on the second part of his speech. I wanted to say losing him would be painful for me as well, but it would have had a different meaning than his. However, in this moment I was so content that it didn't matter. "You got that right, I'll do as I please. I hope you'll be my knight to protect me then? In a few months when I'm ready to face her I can count on you?" I asked, knowing full and well what the response would be. It's what I wanted him to say, to think. Of course, I already knew that there was no way he would be accompanying me on this little quest of mine, no matter how important I was to him. 

When he released me I wished it lasted even a second longer, but I could feel his eyes on me. I looked up at him and plastered a smile on my face. A sincere one at that.  

[Oikawa 1]

For the first time since they had been in this room, the blonde wore a smile. A genuine sign of some form of happiness, no matter how short lived it may end up becoming. A stifled chuckle managed to slip through his lips as Kiru asked him a question he had already given the answer to. "I promised you I would didn't I? Whether its tonight or months down the road, I will be what I should've been for Zel. A protector. I can't undo what I've done, but the least I can do; no I owe it to you to keep you safe from the mavericks and such you once hunted. My feelings remain unchanged. Much like yours for Keith and Zel, I once held for another, and like Keith I know not where she is. My heart still weighs heavy when she's on my mind, but yours weighs just as much if not more."

He paused, he once again found himself rambling. Fumbling over confused feelings he had for the dual color haired girl before him. He stopped, rising to full stature before continuing. "No matter what thoughts run through your head. Whatever doubts you won't admit. I will defy them all. My love for you, isn't just a claim in a moment of weakness or flood emotions. No they ring more true than our existence within the world. I will protect you no matter the threat. That's my promise to you, my queen."

[Kiru 0]

Oikawa's smile was contagious, even if I was already smiling, I smiled even more. It definitely felt better to just get the truth out of the way, but it was also the hardest sometimes. And in this case it was possibly the worst outcome. Nonetheless, with just this one person on my side I felt even just a little bit more assured that there was even a sliver of hope to do something good. It might take me a little while to forgive Oikawa for killing Zelrius, and I might never reach that point, but what mattered right now was that he was there for me without flaw. As he claimed, he would be my knight, and my protector from all without fail. 

I shook my head slightly, "Oikawa, you owe me nothing, you do not need to keep me from anyone. If they come for me, it's my problem and shouldn't be something for you to take on for me just because you..." I trailed off again, hoping I wouldn't have to continue to remind Oikawa that he murdered Zelrius, "Listen, a year ago I would have told you to back off and quit treating me like a child, but this is now and I am saying that you do not have to be by my side. Yeah, I would love to do quests together and such, but I highly doubt you want to tangle with anything containing my name because honestly it's all very messy. You wouldn't want to stain your cloak," I looked over to the chair that contained the cloaks I had set down, ready for a suicide mission alone. Although I had a different goal from when I walked in, it was still practically the same. I was going after the leader of the infamous Laughing Coffin guild. I felt a slight smirk at my ambitions as the blonde spoke again.

This time, he went more in depth about his feelings. There was always a slight pause when anyone said something nice to me. Of course compliments weren't out of the ordinary in real life, but somehow the experience had changed. Specifically, my perspective of them. Instead of brushing them off like dirt or thanking the sender, I now thought about the person behind the words. I began to realize that sometimes it took more than a thought for them to say anything at all to me. Many times I have been told I was scary or just distant, and I did not intend to come off as unapproachable, but I did in some way in which I could not realize. However, anything positive had taken a different form, a smidge of cynic came out, but also a new appreciation. In this case, it was the latter. I had known that Oikawa had a stronger relation to me than anyone other than Keith and Zelrius, but I had always written it off. I couldn't quite pinpoint why exactly, maybe it was guilt? The possibility of Keith still roaming around? Or perhaps it was the overwhelming need to retain distance from others. That was probably the most plausible seeing as though anyone I have ever had a deeper relationship with has either died, disappeared or moved on without reason. Oikawa needed something more than me, a guarded individual with too much baggage to bear. 

I stood in front of Oikawa, staring at his facial features for more than a necessary time. I found myself staring at his blonde hair, which kind of reminding me of Zelrius' in a way. Sure, they were different shades, but all in all, the two were more alike than anyone but I could see. My smirk once again pulled into a soft smile as my icy stare melted into his. There were so many things I wanted to say, to admit, think right now. So many questions that I would not ask, at least right now, yet so many answers that I needed to move forward. It took any self restraint in me to resist the urge to fall for Oikawa, to at least try to create distance before falling head over heels in the moment. I took a moment and finally stopped staring, "My promise to you is no matter what the situation requires, you will not be the one to kill. You will not be the one to die. That's the least I can do for everything I done and probably will do. I promise that it won't be you, no matter what outcome is destined." 

[Oikawa 1]

Her eyes lingered; examining the golden haired boy in complete silence as they stood, motionless, and oblivious to the world around them. Wrapped so far up in their own thoughts and actions that one could say that in that moment, they only saw each other. Surprisingly enough, that deduction would be accurate.

His features softened. Her icy blue gaze sending chills through him with each sweeping glance. A feeling crept upon him. Something different from the usual flurry of emotions swirling within him. He liked this feeling. This sensation of something more. Something about the girl before him grounded him all the while making him feel elevated in way he had yet to experience. She harbored emotions. Rarely showcasing them to those who weren't close to her. She also seemed to be a swirling flame of independence wrapped in a thin layer crazy surrounding a heart that had been damaged far too many times. But beyond all that, she was human. The girl before him was human and he loved her for that.

His thoughts slowed, only lingering to a halt once Kiru began to speak. He listened intently. Replaying the words over and over in his head. Naturally he wanted to dispute them. He wanted to claim that as far as he was concerned, it was the other way around; however, nothing came of it. Nothing but a soft smile and a nod of his head as he instead accepted her decree. He realized that no matter what he said, she was going to stick to that. That was her promise and she would honor it the same as he would for his.

Lifting his gaze up to match hers, his silence ended as well. "I will hold you to that then, my love."

[Kiru 0]

It was a strange feeling, almost as if time stopped. Though virtually everyone's time had stopped, this felt like a completely different thing. Every movement made by either one of us was slow and in my mind seemed to take forever to finish. For the few moments of this tranquility, it felt like nothing else mattered to me. Opal was no longer a threat, everyone was alright, and I had nothing to worry about except for the ending of this bliss of mine. I slowly brushed my fingers through my hair, pushing some of the black parts behind my ear. While doing this, I could not do anything spare hanging on to Oikawa's every word, though not showing any interest physically other than through my eyes. I was relieved to hear he would not fight me on this topic of promises. For once, I planned to fully keep my word and go through with anything to maintain a working deal. Of course Oikawa had a promise of his own, but I also had mine. And there was no way I would break this one.

"Well, I need to head back to the Guild Hall to get some rest. Even I can say that today has been very exhausting, both physically and mentally. Certainly I will need training before I go meet with Opal so could you do a quest with me in a few days? Possibly we could grind as well, but not for about three days because I had already promised Calrex I would complete one with him the day after tomorrow. Other than that, we can start this little adventure in a couple of days if you'd like," I lied through my teeth. Calrex and I completed a quest a while ago and I actually had not spoken to him in quite some time. Tomorrow was a planning day for me, I was going after Opal alone in two days time. This way, I could keep my promise to Oikawa and keep him out of harms way.