[PP-F4] The Sadness Behind Those Eyes

[Endilix 0]

It had been a while since Endilix had stood in his bar. He had gone through all the normal rituals. He wiped his counter, he wiped his glasses. He watched the door for customers that would never come. The works. He even wore his apron and everything. But he never cooked. He never actually made any drinks. But yet everything still seemed off at times. He had never quelled the turmoil in his heart. Not with Flints, not with Emerath, not with Razum-dar. Not with Teion.

Without thinking, his fingers brought up his menu, and before he could stop himself, a message was being typed across his UI: "Look, I know this is a bit out of the blue. But I need to know you're okay. All the time I've traveled alone across Aincrad, I never bugged you, and you never bugged me. That's fine. But you know what, it's been too long. I need to know you're okay. Please."

Without realizing Endilix felt his face wet, as he sent the message and wiped away a tear. He had never worried for Flints. She could take care of herself and had some levels under her belt. Emerath was too cautious to get himself in trouble, and Razum-dar was just a stranger that owed Endilix nothing, despite what the boy himself believed. But he didn't know what to expect from Teion. He needed to know. Whether he had realized it at first at not, he was more worried about her than he could describe.

Edited October 30, 2017 by Endilix

[Teion 0]

As if her mind wasn't already busy enough, a small chiming sound rang lightly in her ears. 'What now?' She raised a hand to select the small square icon that had appeared in front of her. Displaying a picture of a sealed envelope to indicate that the woman had received a new message, Teion expected another note from Piera, perhaps calling her out for a meeting or something similar to the last time the brunette had visited her on the fifth floor. And while it was an invitation she had received, Teion's gaze hadn't gotten further than the sender's name when it locked in place. 'Endilix.' Her eyes widened as she stared at the name--one she had never expected to see outside its place on her friends list.

Quote

From: Endilix
To: Teion
"Look, I know this is a bit out of the blue. But I need to know you're okay. All the time I've traveled alone across Aincrad, I never bugged you, and you never bugged me. That's fine. But you know what, it's been too long. I need to know you're okay. Please."

When she had finally torn her cobalt eyes from the name listed at the top of the screen, they slowly slid across the words that accompanied it. No sooner had she reached the end of the man's plea that she felt a ball of anxiety beginning to twist and tangle inside of her. 'Why now... I can't handle this right now.' She subconsciously bit down on her bottom lip, gnawing gently on the skin as the gears in her mind stuttered and hesitated. Aereth's presence in her shop burned in her mind, but she knew full well that she couldn't ignore Endilix's message. It would only be a matter of time before that stubborn redhead would find his way at her shop's front door. Finally, with an impatient swipe of her hand, the message window was shoved to the side, disappearing once it had strayed too far from the center of the woman's avatar.

"I'm going out." She said flatly, back to her same dismissive tone. She moved herself to the counter at the back of the room, pulling open a bottom drawer and retrieving a dark grey jacket. She slipped her arms through the sleeves, leaving the front of the garment unzipped until she would reach the teleport plaza of the wintry fourth floor. Her attention was pulled away from Aereth, offering him no further explanation while she straightened her spine and called up her menus. She pulled up the same message, skimming past its contents to open up the display that allowed her to reply. Her fingers danced over the small keyboard that hovered in front of her torso, and without allowing herself a second thought, she sent off her brief response.

Quote

From: Teion
To: Endilix

"I'll be there soon."

@Aereth

[Aereth 1]

Thankfully Aereth somehow managed to calm his temporary landlord down again after her breakdown. Currently Aereth was reorganizing his inventory, as well as making a list of things ne needed to re stock. Basic supplies, like water and food ran low on his one week long flight, covered as a dungeon trip. Armor and rings were thrown on the bed he would need to make call his own for the next couple of days. He didn't know how long he would need to stay undercover for Laughing Coffin to loose interest in him, probably they never would, but for now he needed to stay low. 

Suddenly he heard Teion's voice announcing that she would leave the smithy. Immediately, Aereth left his room and he threw a dark green cloak over his shoulders. "Cool, where are we going?" he bluntly asked waiting for a response.

As nothing came after a few moments, he pulled down his hood and added. "If you thought I'd let you go out alone in your current state, dream on. Not happening, Purple."

"Oh, and do you by any chance have an old armor set I could use for now? You know... Running around in burning armor isn't quite as under the radar as I would like..."

@Teion

[Endilix 0]

Endilix had gone back to wiping down the counter after steeling his nerves a bit. Despite this though, he was still startled by the ding that sounded from his UI once he got a message. It was Teion, and she was coming to his shop? Endilix suddenly turned pale before scrambling to ready himself for her arrival. Quickly, glasses were thrown on the bar and he filled them with lemonade. He brewed a pot of coffee and dug in his fridge for some snacks, finally settling on some cheese. He grabbed a pack of crackers and scuttled back to his bar, laying them out on a plate. He wanted her to feel comfortable. And also to not feel like Endilix wasn't taking care of himself or his bar.

Taking deep breaths, he tried to calm back down, but his heart was racing despite himself. He hadn't seen Teion in so long now, but at least he knew she was alive. He could take solace in that simple fact, as he waited for her arrival.

[Teion 0]

Teion had nearly reached the door when Aereth's voice sounded behind her, causing the woman to stop in her tracks. She hesitated when he so readily implied he was coming with her, and as if he read her mind, he explained himself. The blacksmith closed her eyes and let out a sigh. 'Is this what it was like, dealing with me?' She mentally groaned, but she had no more strength left to argue. Something told her even if she did, the brunette behind her wouldn't give up, just as she had refused to after their initial encounter. She was just about to continue forward and open the door when he asked about a spare set of armor to get the gears in her mind turning onto a different track. Her bottom lip stiffened as she ran through an internal list of armor she knew she had laying around.

After a moment of consideration, Teion strayed from her path to the door, leaning down and hooking her fingers under the lid of a flat-top chest on the right side of the room beside her forge. She opened the trunk, the metal of the items she sifted through knocking together and making the slightest bit of ruckus in the otherwise quiet smithy. She finally pulled out a chestpiece that was simple in design, a thinner metal frame than some of the others she had on display, with a handful of leather accents. "Probably still not your style, but here." She tossed the item to him before letting the lid of the chest swing shut and returning towards the door. "Shame you can't use the other one, though." She made a weak attempt at banter, clearing not feeling up for it after she had started. "We're going to Snowfrost."

At they carefully made their way to the teleport plaza, she offered Aereth little more explanation than to hesitantly say she was meeting up with an old friend. When the pair had arrived in the snowy town, it didn't take long for the cold to seep past her clothing and bite at her skin. She zipped up the jacket to her collarbone, though it didn't feel as though it served much purpose against the icy winds. She pulled the hood up, her long hair pulled over to the right in front of her shoulder as she led the way to the Fearsomely Strong Cider. When the bar came into view, Teion couldn't help but cast a glance to the building beside it, and memories of the other twin entered her mind. Trying her best to keep them at bay, she approached the door to her original destination, standing in front of it for a few seconds before she realized Aereth's nearby presence and remembered she didn't have the luxury to linger in her anxiety. She filled her lungs with a sharp breath of frigid, dry air before she raised a gloved hand to deliver a knock on the door.

[Aereth 1]

"Good. She isn't arguing." The brunette thought as Teion started to look for a fitting piece of armor. He was thankful that he wouldn't need to spend his energy on trying to convice her to let him come with her, and inwardly he was chuckling. "Payback's a bitch."

Catching the piece of heavy armor with ease, the brunette examined it for a little bit, before opening his menu and equipping it. It felt... "Heavy. But it will do." This was the first time Aereth was wearing heavy armor, and he could already feel how it took away a bunch from his freedom of movement. Dodging hits was much more complicated this way.

He sighed. "Yeah, it is. That thing saved my life more often than I can count. It's really a fine piece of armor." Aereth replied as Teion told him how it was a shame that he couldn't use it. As they were almost out of the shop, Aereth heard that they were going to Snowfrost. "Damn, they'll surely find me there..." Walking into the lions cave wasn't something very clever, considering that Laughing Coffin would surely have multiple scouts placed on his home floor. So Aereth quickly turned around and took a helmet that covered his whole face. "I'll take this as well. Just to be sure." The brunette said in a metallic voice through the helmet.

Aereth was walking some steps behind the purple haired woman as they made their way over to her old friend. As always the other players were throwing hateful glares at him as he sneaked past the guards of the safe zone in order to make it to the bar. But this time it didn't bother him. He was just here to make sure Teion wouldn't do anything stupid on her visit. He wouldn't allow it...

@Teion @Endilix

[Endilix 0]

Endilix was startled by the knock on the door, despite that he had been anticipating his guest. He had managed to get himself lost in his mind at all of the things whirling around there. Not the least of which was, "What now?" He let out a heavy sigh as he tried to loosen up to feel more at ease with this meeting, but he could still feel the tension in his shoulders. This wasn't going to be easy by any stretch of the word.

Finally, after enough stalling he found himself standing in front of the door. His breath caught again as he reached to undo the lock, and he had to force it to resume normally so he didn't act or look like a fish out of water once he actually opened the door. Though slightly erratic and nervous, he managed to resume breathing, as he unlocked the door quickly before he could change his mind, and he swung it open in front of him, giving an awkward smile and wave to the woman behind the door. "Welcome!" he said as cheerfully as possible, with a note of exasperation at the situation. As he turned to step away from the door and allow her in, Endilix found his eyes drifting to something out of place.

There was a man, standing behind Teion. He was in a full suit of armor, from head to waist, at the very least. Endilix didn't really care to look any further. But it wasn't so much the man's existence that threw him off, it was the man's cursor color. In an instant, the anxiety from the meeting of an old friend eroded away, only to be replaced by tons of questions. Not the least of which actually managed to escape his lips: "Why is he here?"

[Teion 0]

Teion felt the ball of apprehension in her chest twisting and growing with each second that passed after her knuckles had made contact with the heavy oak door to the bar. It felt like every moment took thrice as long as it actually did, and Teion's shoulders tensed when the faint sound of the lock sliding open reached her ears through the cold air. As the light from the inside of the bar spilled out onto the snowy landscape and the two players' figures just past the entryway, Teion's gaze landed on the redhead's face, forcing as normal a smile as he could manage while his hand raised to greet her.

'I can't do this.' As she met the emerald eyes of her old friend, a wave of guilt washed over her. Her mind worked to come up with some sort of greeting in return; something that didn't sound as forced as she thought it had to be. But her brain was too busy to formulate the words. It was kicking her, scolding the woman for not thinking this through. What did she honestly plan to do--lie to him? Tell him that everything has been fine, and he has no need to worry? No, he didn't deserve more lies. But after the past week--the past month--did she have the mental energy left to spill her guts to the twin she hadn't acknowledged in so long? What good would come from unloading all of her burdens onto the man whom she had already pushed away?

Before her whirlwind of doubt had the chance to consume her completely, Endilix's voice cut through the frigid air once more. Teion blinked to attention and her eyes, still trained on his, realized that they were looking past her now, to the taller figure standing behind her. The blacksmith's bottom lip stiffened slightly as a newfound anxiety wrapped its fingers around her chest. "He's--uhm," She finally pushed the sound to leave her throat when she stopped herself. Endilix hadn't asked who the stranger behind her was, but rather why he was there. She froze again, asking herself what reasons she had to give him. Before she was able to call the right words to mind, however, the brunette's voice took over.

When the name 'Beatbox' reached her ears, Teion's eyes widened slightly. A name that haunted her, but one that Endilix may have never heard before. It was as if Aereth's brief explanation was enough to quell the uncertainties that plagued her just a minute ago. Her shoulders dropped a few centimeters, and her chin was lowered in between the two men while her gaze lingered on the exterior of the bar that was dusted with snowfall. "Don't worry, he'll behave." She offered the words in a quiet voice, halfway as a reassurance to her old friend, and halfway as an order to her new companion. Her cobalt eyes drifted back up to meet Endilix's emerald ones, a weak, forced smile on her lips. "Can we come in? There's a lot you need to know."

[Aereth 1]

The door opened and finally Aereth was able to see this so called friend of hers. He used the first few moments just to look at him, but when he addressed the brunette, and Teion tried to explain, which she clearly had trouble with, Aereth spoke up. "Oh, why I'm here? For some trouble, the nice weather and maybe some killing, whatever you wanna call it." It was always the same. They always saw his cursor before anything else. Oh how he hated these distrustful glares from everybody. Last time in the inn, his weak emotional side got the better of him, but this time he was just annoyed. 

As a couple moments of silence settled in, Aereth sighed and continued. "That was a joke. I'm an old friend and ex-guildmate of Beatbox and I'm looking after Purple over there, so she doesn't do anything stupid or get herself into trouble." he said in an attempt to to explain himself. 

"Yeah, no worries. I'll be nice..." The brunette said with a smirk, not that anybody could see it through his helmet. "Oh, and you can call me Max, if you want." 

@Endilix

[Endilix 0]

Endilix couldn't help the scowl that crossed his face as the man behind Teion spoke. Though if he was being honest, he didn't know many people that would be able to help it, considering such poor taste in humor. "A poor joke made in bad taste, considering your situation. As someone who is clearly accompanying a dear friend of mine, I most likely would have given you the benefit of the doubt, despite your cursor. But that first impression wasn't all that great," he said to the man, his eyes fixated on about the point where he assumed his were, before shifting his gaze to the purple haired woman. "In any case, where are my manners? Please, come inside both of you."

Endilix stepped to the side, holding the door open for the duo to enter, before indicating his bar with his free hand, "There are drinks, juice, tea, coffee, take your pick. And some finger foods besides. You're welcome to them. Also," Endilix started his next sentence while bringing attention back to the man, "I have a policy of no full face helmets in here. I don't even let my brother wear his mask. And lest you worry, either I won't recognize you, or I won't care if I do. If you're a friend of Teion, then I'm operating under the assumption that either Beatbox was an important person, or that there's another reason that she trusts you."

Edited November 3, 2017 by Endilix

[Teion 0]

Teion had to hold back a groan after Aereth's less than friendly introduction. Either he was really set on paying her back for the times that she was a thorn in his own side, or his people skills were really just that bad. Either way, Teion was grateful when the redheaded twin invited them inside and she was allowed a reprieve from the cold. The biting feeling against her skin seemed to vanish after she passed through the doorway, and her hand traveled to the zipper at her collar, pulling it down to reveal her typical combat attire underneath: the loose-fitting cream-colored top partially covered by a dark brown leather bodice. Endilix motioned towards the bar just as Teion finally got a good look at his shop for the first time in a long while.

It look so familiar, nostalgic even, but...also very foreign. Was it always this bright? This clean? This inviting? Or had she just grown accustomed to the dim and dusty interior of what her smithy had become? She felt a twinge of discomfort in such an environment, but was just about to push herself forward to take a seat when Endilix addressed the masked man again. With the door closing behind them, Teion gave it a glance before her vision turned briefly onto Aereth, simply hoping he would comply with the twin's request.

The woman turned and walked a few short paces to take a seat at the bar. As always, eating and drinking was the last thing on her mind, and so she didn't bother to retrieve anything that had been laid out across the counter. Instead, the blacksmith leaned over the surface, propping herself up with her cheek in one hand with her elbow planted on the counter. The other arm simply lay in front of her, fingertips lightly fidgeting amongst themselves while she tried to gather her thoughts. "Where to start..." She muttered lightly.

Once the other two souls in the bar had settled and Endilix seemed ready to hear her story, Teion drew in a sharp breath through her nose, steeling herself as she dove into the memories. "After we...went separate ways, I started keeping to myself. A lot. I kept the shop open, for a while, but..." She already started to hesitate. Her eyes stared down at the surface beneath her, and her hand pulled away from her cheek to begin twirling a lock of violet hair that fell down the side of her face. "I lost the drive." She continued. "I did quests and tried to level to keep myself busy, because I felt like it was my job. But then, I...met someone. His name was Beatbox." She didn't bother trying to hide the past-tense. She would get to that part of the story eventually, after all. With a heaviness in her heart, she continued on. "It was maybe..." She almost let out a sigh trying to recall exactly when she first encountered the blonde swordsman. "Eight months ago? He... I dunno, he helped me out." With the old friend whom she once held feelings for on one side, and the new companion who had nestled into a complicated part of her heart on the other, Teion suddenly felt a bit flustered broaching the subject of her previous boyfriend. Teion's bottom lip stiffened, hoping that Endilix had gotten the gist of it from just her brief explanation. 'Guess the only option is to skip ahead.' She thought bitterly.

"He died just over a month ago." She said flatly, her delivery similar to how she had given Aereth the same explanation just over a week ago. "I can't say I've been handling it well." Even that admittance was an understatement, as Aereth had seen at least one extent of her emotional trauma. Just as she had opened up to Aereth over the campfire that night, there were no tears in Teion's eyes as she spoke about her loss. Just the bitterness in her voice paired with the pained expression of someone who knew she would never be able to get the answers she wanted.

[Aereth 1]

Aereth simply shrugged at the comments Endilix gave out about him ruining his first impression about Aereth. Just as he was about to start rambling about how he shouldn't have stared at his cursor so much if he wanted to have a good first impression, he decided to let it slide.

"Look, I just don't appreciate it when people stare at my cursor and start assuming things. I'm sorry. I'll stop making bad jokes and you stop looking at me like I'm some psychopath if you don't even know me. Agreed?" Aereth said as he walked in and removed all of his armor as soon as the door shut behind him. His messy brunette hair fell into his face, and he simply moved it back with a swipe of his hand.

Then the redhead mentioned that he didn't know who Beatbox was, which made Aereth face-palm mentally. "Sh*t..." he thought, and apologetically looked at Teion. Maybe she wouldn't have wanted to talk about this topic, but now the damage was done. Aereth only grabbed a glass of water, and walked over to a nearby wall, leaning against it. It seemed like it was time for him to shut up, and just talk if he was asked something.

@Endilix

[Endilix 0]

Endilix had made himself a nice cup of coffee after welcoming his guests in. He had done little more than grunt at the brunette man at his remarks, wanting to comment on how an orange cursor had to be earned through some sort of crime, but this was neither the time nor the place. This was about Teion and it was clear that more had happened than Endilix could have ever imagined in the time of them being apart.

Endilix had listed to her recount the details of what had happened recently, and without really realizing he found himself squeezing the cup that held the coffee until his knuckles turned white. More death. That's all this game ever was. More death, more sadness, more betrayal. The most dangerous thing in this game wasn't the monsters. It was the humans taking advantage of a mostly lawless situation. As Endilix listened, he wondered if the only way to be a hero in this world was to be just as bad, if not worse, than those who killed indiscriminately, stole, and threatened without remorse.

Once Teion had finished, Endilix let go of the sigh he hadn't realized he had been holding. Endilix was dense sometimes, but there was one thing he often understood better than most things. "Did you love him?" he asked, but really it was rhetorical. The pain hidden behind her eyes. The sorrow she didn't want to show, it told him the answer. He looked down at the wooden counter of his bar and shook his head, "Well, if nothing else. I'm glad that nothing irrational happened. No suicide or anything like that. I can't say that my time in the shadows was nearly as eventful."

Slowly, Endilix's eyes looked to Teion's searching them. "How did he die?"

[Teion 0]

Teion blinked in surprise at Endilix's response--that question, as if it wasn't a reply she had expected from the redhead. Luckily, he didn't seem to expect an answer from her and continued speaking. His next words, however, hit her in an entirely different way. 'Irrational'. 'Suicide'. The words rang out in her ears and caused her jaw to tighten. The messy, conflicted ball of emotions inside of her only began to fester as she thought to correct the twin with a sharp, bitter tongue. She held that tongue when she felt his emerald eyes back on her again. His final words--another question, this one wanting a response--caused her fingers to curl into her palms against the counter. She nearly opened her mouth and began to explain all she knew surrounding the frontliner's death, but something stopped her. A thought entered her mind, and before she had considered it fully, her hand had already swiped through the air to pull up her menus.

She slid an index finger through the air to navigate to the right section. Once she had found the recording crystal in her inventory, the blacksmith summoned it and with a small flash of light the smooth black diamond rested in her free palm. Dismissing the semi-transparent interface, she moved her hand to activate the crystal, but before her finger made contact with its surface, she hesitated. The recording hadn't reached her ears since the day that she first discovered it. When Shield had visited her and was forced to play the role of messenger alongside the 'farewell' items he had left behind for her. Would she be able to handle hearing his voice again? She let out a small sigh, as if accepting whatever consequences would arise from her action, before poking at the crystal with the tip of her finger. A light began to glow from its core, and the diamond-shaped object hovered over the bar counter as it activated.

"Hey Thea, I know this is sad news for you to hear and while our relationship is still fresh... there is something I just have to do. I have heard about activity from a suspicious target and some 'Horsemen' the other day... He was said to be ridiculously powerful. I must try to make this place safe like I had promised everyone. In the morning, if you don't see me in your friends list... well, expect me to be dead...

Thea, I want you to promise me something. Never stray from what you know is right, never kill without reason. Never become as dead as I am, emotionally at least. Thea, I love you. Nothing will change that. But this is just something that needs to happen. I'm sorry... again, I- I love you..."

Beatbox's voice filled the air until it faltered and trailed off. The glow of the crystal faded, marking its ending, and the item dropped from its position to clatter against the wooden surface. Teion had sat, listening to the recorded words for the second time now, with her hands clenched into fists against her legs. The sting of hot tears burned at the corners of her eyes, which she quickly moved to wipe away. She held in a bitter laugh as Endilix's earlier words resurfaced in her mind. "Yeah. Nothing irrational." She echoed with an emptiness in her voice.

[Endilix 0]

Endilix watched as Teion pulled out a recording crystal, as if in answer to his question. As they sat there, and listened, Endilix found himself gripping his coffee again, still having not taken a drink. The longer the recording went on, the more angry Endilix got. This person that Teion loved and trusted went to go take on a powerful player, or set of players. It was ambiguous if he was alone, or with a party. But really, it didn't matter, because Endilix knew the end result. The man had died. And really, that was that.

Once the recording died down and the crystal fell back onto the bar counter, Endilix found himself gripping the coffee so tightly that the cup began to crack, and before Endilix knew it, the cup shattered into pixels, its durability lost from Endilix's anger. Endilix gave a sigh, he was running out of cups.

After a long moment of silence from Teion's last words, Endilix finally broke it by saying, "This is basically a suicide note, and he seems to know that. So then why did he go if he knew he would die?" Endilix shook his head, and stood straight as he folded his arms across his chest, "And if he truly cared, he should have had you with him. And if he didn't think he'd survive, he should have stayed by your side." Endilix's eyes tried to meet the woman's though she seemed distant and Endilix couldn't tell if she was looking at him or not. "Who are these 'Horsemen' and why are they worth throwing one's life away to try to stop?"

[Aereth 1]

A chuckle almost escaped him as Endilix mentioned how nothing irrational happened. Almost. "Is that boy living in a dream?" Aereth mentally asked himself, but remained as quiet as he could. Only a low grunt escaped him. Irrational and crazy things are happening on a daily basis in this sh*thole called Aincrad. He moved his glass to his mouth and took a sip.

Next was the suicide note. He slowly started to understand things. Why she had stopped him from ending his life. As blunt and direct the redhead was, he was right. This really sounded like he knew exactly that he was doing. But that didn't make sense. He had many strong allies that would have helped him if he asked them. Hikoru, Itzal, hell even the Knights of the Bloodoath would probably have helped him. But then something clicked. Horsemen.... "No way..." he thought as he pushed himself away from the wall.

"Don't tell me he fought Death Adder!" He said in a slightly angry voice. On the list of ex Laughing Coffin members he had received from their leader some months back were one or two players that were currently associated with the Horsemen. "He can't have been serious, even the Laughing Coffin is afraid of Death Adder. I have no confirmed information about this, but it is rumored that he wields an unique skill. Probably the strongest unique yet discovered... And an army of players that fight for him." 

@Teion

[Teion 0]

The sound of the ceramic mug shattering in Endilix's grip snapped the woman back to the present. She blinked away the lingering wetness in her eyes and her chin lifted to face the redhead standing on the other side of the counter. For a fleeting moment, she found herself asking a question that left a new hole in her heart. Did she have the right twin? No, the man standing there was most definitely Endilix. So then why did his words sound so...calculated? Like he was trying to pick up the pieces of her life--a life he was no longer a part of--and solve some sort of mystery.

Then again, what did she expect? Was he supposed to pat her on the head and tell her that everything was going to be okay? Was he just supposed to be another shoulder for her to pull out and cry on now that it convenienced her? At some point, she stopped hearing the redhead's words. He asked another question, but she didn't know if she was supposed to provide an answer. And then a name, called out by the brunette standing to the side of the room, seemed to ignite the fire in her eyes.

Teion dropped her chin, feeling her jaw clench as Aereth recounted what he knew about the frontliner's murderer. She was silent for a few long moments, just staring at the smooth surface in front of her with a new mixture of emotion worked into her features. "Yeah." She answered him in a low voice. "That's the name written next to his on the Monument." She attested, implying that Death_Adder was listed as his cause of death. She leaned forward, planting her elbows on the countertop and weaving her fingers through her violet strands as she held her head in her hands. Teion stared down at the inactive recording crystal still laying on its side in front of her. She was done trying to understand. It hurt too much to try, and it seemed that no matter how hard the gears of her mind turned, they weren't going to find an answer that would satisfy her.

[Endilix 0]

Endilix couldn’t make sense of it all. All he he saw before him was a broken woman, an angry man, and his own steadily emptying heart. But none of it made sense. That was always Emerath’s forte anyway. Endilix had always just been the one to live by his emotions, always the goofball. But now he had to live in a world where people like him were eaten up like candy by those who could make sense of it all. The politics, the levels, the armies, all controlled by those who made sense of it all. 

Perhaps Beatbox was living by his emotions too, unable to make sense of it all. Perhaps Endilix would have been in his shoes at one point, running headlong to his death to be a hero. Better than Emerath, he could make sense of that. He didn’t need politics or vast intelligence to understand the motivation. If Endilix hadn’t been made to wonder what being a hero truly meant, would he still be alive? But Endilix had been removed from that world by Flints, and a nightmare he had. And now he saw what she had been talking about. Who is most important to protect? Everyone, or those you love most?

Beatbox chose everyone instead of Teion, and now they’re both paying the price. What is a hero in Aincrad? A martyr. Now Endilix was more sure of this than ever.

As Endilix found himself coming back to reality, he found that he had placed a hand on Teion’s purple hair, and was gently patting the woman. He wasn’t sure if his explanation would help, or if she would care at this point, but at least Endilix understood.

“He was... trying to be a hero. At least, that’s what it sounds like to me,” Endilix said, his voice sounding far away in his own ears as he continued to pat the woman’s head softly, “take it from someone who wanted to be the shining white knight of Aincrad. I know what that sort of heroism looks like.” The last part of what Endilix wanted to say would be hard to navigate. Not just because of the touchy subject, but also because of the holes in his own heart. But he tried anyway.

“But he just turned into a martyr. And to be honest, I probably would have met the same fate if my heart hadn’t been turned to stone by this game and the people in it.” Endilix’s voice cracked as he recalled his near death with the Executioner. Flints’ tears at him nearly dying trying to save a stranger. His own near heroic sacrifice.

Endilix’s hand found that of his old friend’s, as he grasped it and said, “I’m not the same Endilix. Being a hero in this game isn’t... possible. And I’ve seen so many people die now. Kids, wives, husbands, young lovers, mothers, fathers... I can’t save them all. I couldn’t. So I forced myself to stop caring and focus on those that I could protect. Emerath, Flints.... and I hoped you. That’s the only way to be a hero in this world...”

The tears were involuntary. Endilix hadn’t told even Emerath how he felt. What he had become. But Teion could have just as easily been grieving over Endilix if life had gone differently. He couldn’t help but let that thought overwhelm him.

Edited November 8, 2017 by Endilix

[Aereth 1]

The redhead was right. It was reckless and stupid to challenge someone as dangerous as the leader of the Horsemen. Maybe just as stupid as trying to fight a war against the biggest and PK guild in the game? He sighed as he returned to his spot at the wall. It wasn't the time to get angry at the blonde frontliner for trying to fight f*cking Death Adder alone...

So he was just listening again. Observing the two and learning. He was gently pating her head while talking to her and then took her hand. Something inside of him suddenly wanted to punch him through the counter, but he just sighed in order to calm himself down again.

"What level are you?" Aereth asked bluntly as he implied that he wanted to be a hero but gave up on it. "There can be heros inside of this hell. Just the definition is the thing that matters." he took another sip from his water. "I agree. Solo players that think they can play heros are fated to die. We are weak as long as we are alone. I played the number game of SAO long enough and failed too many times to know this. It doesn't matter how strong you are, as long as you act alone you can't do anything. But together we can archive that goal of becoming a group of heros. I had to learn that the hard way..." Aereth added in an angry tone. "And if you think you saw everything, just because you saw some people die I'll take you with me for one night and show you the REAL Aincrad."

@Endilix

[Endilix 0]

An anger rose up in Endilix like he had not felt in a long time. Not since the day Endilix had heard that Flints had gotten married. It bubbled to the surface, and despite the tears stinging his eyes, all that sadness and pain he had felt had turned to rage at the brunette's words. Keeping his hand on Teion's, his face and eyes snapped up at the man after he was done speaking. And nothing but a seething, poisonous anger poured out of him as he spoke.

"You sit on the same pedestal as so many others I know. What, do you think that just because you've been 'fighting the good fight' that you're entitled to more pain than people like me and Teion? That you're allowed to define words like 'hero' for me just because you think you know what a hero can be? It's clear you aren't a hero. Where were you when Beatbox went to go be a hero? Clearly not by his side, 'friend of Beatbox,' Where's your group heroism there? So who is the real hero? At least he tried, even if he was alone. You know, if he had friends like you, I'm starting to understand why he didn't ask."

Endilix looked back to Teion, but didn't give anyone else enough time to speak as he continued, "You act like I have to tour everything to understand the pain and suffering of the world. Do I need to see every homeless person to understand poverty? Do I need to see every battered soldier to understand war? Do i need to see every injury ever caused to understand pain? You think you're the only one allowed to understand how tragedy and suffering works? The only one allowed to define the world in their own way?"

Endilix looked back to the brunette, the tears gone and a fire in his eyes, "Either stay quiet, or leave my bar. You clearly have no part to play in this tragedy. If you were truly her friend, then you wouldn't be sitting here dismissing the man trying to console Teion. An old friend that she has known far longer than you. Someone she clearly opened up to before you, considering your surprise at the information presented. Now let her real friends do their job properly. Thanks for whatever you did to get her here. I can take it from here."