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Oscar

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  1. Aw yeah, we back to the good part! Moss! Brown Moss. Green Moss. Purple Moss. Blooming Purple Moss. All the absolute best types of moss sprang to mind. Unfortunately, none of those types of moss would or could be found, much to Oscar's chagrin. All that was left was that a single, tiny, desiccated strip of moss tucked behind the open flame of a torch. With nothing else better to do, Oscar began the arduous task of peeling the crumbling plant from the walls in the hopes of a material. The problem was, it was so close to the torch that Oscar didn't exactly didn't have a solid angle of approach.
  2. As with every single round of combat thus far in this dungeon, Oscar followed Odin's Wrath with Double or Nothing and completely eviscerated the creatures before him. After collecting his loot, he straightened his back and looked around. Holding his hammer between his arm and torso, he began to make a mental count - using his fingers to keep mark. "Huh. That was five different enemy types so far? Not bad, not bad," he mused to himself. He'd long since abandoned any hope that anything short of a boss - even normal mobs at a higher level - would be even remotely threatening. Most he could hope f
  3. Oscar heard the metallic thud of armored footfalls from deeper in the dungeon. Intrigued, Oscar followed the sound. Eventually, he entered a wide chamber in which a quartet of shadowy specters resided. They looked not entirely unlike the Black Iron Knights that Oscar was so familiar with. If not for the tendrils of shadowy energy wisping from their forms, Oscar wouldn't have been able to tell them apart. They had stopped their march for now, standing shoulder to shoulder, their bodies facing Oscar's direction. As he moved closer, two red orbs flashed to life deep within their slotted helms. Th
  4. And thus was Oscar condemned to his mossy hell. Instead of having something interesting happen, he was presented with yet another patch of moss. Ignorant of the alternatives, Oscar was happy to placate himself by peeling the moss from the wall with a smile on his face. If he'd known that he could have potentially had an epic duel with a dungeon boss or had his health drop below 50% for the first time since he'd first gotten started, he would have cursed the System for giving him mere moss. But, such is life. It can travel along many different paths, intersecting in various points, but ultimate
  5. As Oscar wiled away the time between combat by peeling ever-increasing quantities of moss from the walls, behind the scenes the System was calculating what calamity Oscar would play party to. Intense quantum mathematics were conducted by the currently-most sophisticated AI in existence. If Cardinal was an engine, it would be red-lining as it factored in variables that humans couldn't even fathom. And then, finally, it came up with its answer. The tragedy that was soon to befall Oscar was: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No trap, no chest, no uber-powerful enemy encounter. Just more of t
  6. With nothing else better to do for the foreseeable future, Oscar was back on that moss. It was best to seize the opportunity to improve his Gathering skill while he could, because he was for damn certain that he wasn't going to go out and forage with nothing else to do. It simply wasn't a good use of his time and he didn't have the patience for it. Nevertheless, he was in the moment while he was in the moment. And in this moment, he was successful in getting two materials for the price of one. He celebrated internally and kept it moving. Somehow he felt that if he kept himself in one place for
  7. Now, it was time to cap it all off with a Wallbreaker. Oscar swung his axe like a golf club with such force that it slammed the four remaining Shrikes against the wall. The impact utterly depleted their respective health bars, leaving nothing but shimmering interactable points on the ground where they had fallen and shattered. The sound of stone grinding filled the air and the sudden change in pressure caused the lingering dust to flow freely out of the room. As it all settled, Oscar collected his loot and stepped back out into the corridor, ready to tackle his next challenge. Or something. Mo
  8. Odin's Wrath was now available. Which meant it was time to really get some work done. Oscar raised his hammer high above his head and then sent the massive hunk of metal careening down to the ground. An eruption of stone and dust filled the room with smog, the shrapnel from the blow perforating two of the Shrikes to death and heavily harming two more. With vision thus hindered, the Shrikes couldn't easily find their mark. He felt the batting of wind as the birds flapped past the nape of his already-bloodied neck, their beaks finding no purchase as they snapped through empty air. The maneuver b
  9. Even though he waited a turn, Oscar found himself still in need of some more stopping power. The options were to wait another turn for something a little stronger or to lay down what damage he could. Oscar chose the latter. Since he wasn't going to kill anything this round no matter what he did, Oscar decided to lean in harder on the more injured Shrikes instead of spreading the wealth, so to speak. His hammer tore through the air, whipping up a tempestuous gale as he swung into the swarm once, then twice. Having abandoned any goals of evasion, he was able to to strike with much more precision
  10. Seeing as he couldn't really make much forward progress with all of his stronger Sword Arts on cooldown, Oscar decided to simply take a break. The incessant chirping of the birds was beginning to grate his nerves and, if he didn't deal with that, it would likely cause his focus to slip. So rather than wait for things to get too pent up, Oscar elected to deal with it here and now. He closed his eyes, taking several steadying breaths. For a brief moment, a light green aura affixed itself around Oscar's form. As he opened his eyes again - the sounds of the birds having been completely blocked out
  11. Although Oscar was pretty evasive when he wanted to be, the bulk of his attention was diverted away from trying to dodge the birds and more into trying to hit them. It seemed like every couple of seconds, he was having to yank a stuck bird out of the back of his neck and yeet it away from him, which then made the monumental task of trying to avoid their stabby beaks all the more challenging. Finally, he just accepted that there was no way that he could track every individual bird in this small swarm flitting about him like a storm of feathers and hate. Instead, he would lean 100% into the offe
  12. "Oh, hey... Money Shot! Nice to see it again. What say we go double or nothing, eh?" "Sounds like a plan," Oscar responded. And so, hot on the heels of Freyd's attack, Oscar rocketed forward. The pair of Smirkers found their half-assed offensive efforts intercepted by fifty pounds of gold swinging into them at terminal velocity. As one would flick away an insect, the two enemies were sent flying sharply into the nearest wall where they unceremoniously burst into polygonal fragments of data. Without a word, Oscar pocketed their loot and let out a heavy sigh. "Dangerous dungeon my le
  13. In the real world, Shrikes are a carnivorous songbird. But unlike larger birds of prey they lack the physical ability to grasp and carry away mice and other small rodents. Tiny little stick feet didn't really lend themselves well to that task. Instead, what they did was perch high in the trees searching for their next meal. Then, when the target it spotted, they dive in like a rocket and paralyze their prey. How? They're birds not scorpions. Well, they sink their beaks into their prey's neck, bite onto the spine, and spin. The sudden rotation snaps the rodent's neck and leaves it free for the
  14. Much to his surprise, the enemies that had spawned in to face him weren't knights. They weren't assassins. They weren't alien invaders with stealth functionality. Instead, Oscar was faced down with a swarm of songbirds. Shrikes, they were called. Black-and-white feathered birds that darted about the air with a swiftness. Oscar could see in their eyes, though, that they were filled with nothing short of hate for the intruder and general contempt for the living. In fact, these creatures filled Oscar with more dread than anything else he had fought before and probably anything he would fight afte
  15. Sometimes you just gotta risk it for the biscuit. Even though Oscar's last experience with these chests told him that, perhaps, it wasn't the absolute best course of action to interact with it. Chances were good that he'd have a whole squad falling out of the walls armed to the teeth and looking to vent their frustrations from being stuck in the wall onto Oscar's chest cavity. But, on the other hand, he couldn't really say with any certainty whether or not these chests were worth all of the fuss. So, with the full knowledge that this was probably going to go sideways, Oscar broke the lock off
  16. As Oscar busied himself with harvesting yet another patch of moss, he heard a noise from behind him. The sound of stone grinding on stone. The sudden sound surprised him, causing his hand to slip and the gathering attempt failed. When he turned, looking fairly annoyed, he noticed that a section of wall that had been behind him had opened up to reveal a chest room. Only, this time, it actually had a chest in it! This was certainly an interesting discovery. Was the dungeon filled with rooms such as this, only to be revealed by the sheer luck of being at the right place at the right time? It defi
  17. If the Heavens sang his praises over his massive success moments prior, the demons of Hell laughed at him in the face of his abject failure now. The moss had been a perfect specimen. Not too moist, not too dry. Yet, even so, he failed at his attempt at gathering. All it had taken was for his hands to slip once and it was game over. But, that wasn't to say that it was a complete loss. Indeed, there was a path to redemption for Oscar. He had ranked up at long last. So let the Devil laugh. Oscar knew that with his newfound rank and his endemic skills, he wouldn't be the butt of Hell's jokes for m
  18. With things being what they were, there was nothing else Oscar could do but wait for his cooldowns and energy to be restored. He absolutely hated being stifled so, but what else could he do? Perhaps the System saw how the Players were running roughshod over Aincrad's normal enemies and decided to throttle back the rate at which they would be exterminated. It would have been a good call, all things considered. That said, it was more than a little annoying. But you know what isn't annoying? Moss. Oscar just couldn't get enough of it. Here he is now, peeling the plant life from the walls with an
  19. After having been slapped across the face with a slimy tentacle, Oscar paused for a moment. The creatures looked alien in nature, a long slender body topped with a single large eye and half a dozen whipping tentacles added haphazardly at different locations around its stick-like core. The creature who slapped him blinked. Then Oscar blinked. "Alright first off. Rude," Oscar began, wiping the purple goo from his cheek. "Second off." Oscar lurched forward, spinning his weapon around his body like a tornado of blunt force trauma. He did his best rendition of a Beyblade before finally hurling
  20. Oscar proceeded ever-forward, deeper and deeper into the dungeon. As he rounded a corner, he noticed an odd shimmering in the air about halfway down the new corridor that he had just entered. It was strange. Oscar decided to take a closer look. His Searching skill aided him in overcoming enemy stealth. He focused on the shimmering space, his eyes flashing gold for a brief moment as he made a conscious effort to determine whether the shimmering was due to stealthed enemies. Thanks to his mastery of the skill, the shimmering shifted and a faint outline of the enemies was formed. Without skipping
  21. With all the yelling going on, Oscar could barely keep up with all the goings and comings. He did see Freyd completely nuke an entire group of enemies, which was quite impressive. And then there was Shield, engaging a second group with a gusto that Oscar personally hadn't been expecting. Certainly not now. Not this early. Oscar could only yawn as he strode forward past Shield, summoning Money Shot from the ether with a flick of his hand. The golden hammer manifested in a fountain of Col, coins bursting forth from the top and cascading downward, only to shatter upon the floor. He certainly woul
  22. After walking for a bit, Oscar came across another side room. Just like the other, Oscar found the room to be empty. He was sure that if he set foot inside, the room would probably snap closed and spawn and army of brutes to exterminate him with extreme prejudice nonetheless. However, Oscar was no fool. Also, there was moss on the wall opposite the door. A potential material was infinitely more interesting than an empty, probably trapped chamber. Deft fingers worked the moss free from the wall. Though it was fairly close to one of the many torches that line the walls, it wasn't drier than the
  23. It was getting about time. Soon, his energy would be full. When it was, Oscar would then be able to engage more mobs in combat and - with any luck - earn himself some much needed loot. But, until then, his life was that of a moss collector. Collecting moss from the sides of a wall was goal. He soon found another patch and, once there, began to peel the moss away. This patch was in a dark, dank corner. No torches nearby, so it was moist and easier to pull away in one big sheet. And Oscar did just that, earning himself a material and some experience in the process. It wouldn't be long now before
  24. With the enemy Assassins dispatch, Oscar was free to peel moss to his heart's content. After taking a moment to cycle through his menus, Oscar noticed that he was a little over halfway to the next Gathering rank - a prospect that excited him. He'd remembered how much he'd enjoyed ranking up as a Cook and this was just more of that, but with a lot less burnt garlic bread. Finding another patch of moss in short order, Oscar skillfully and quickly pried his prize from the bricks. A material was then added to his inventory and his experience total went up just a bit more. Progress was slow, but it
  25. Capitalizing on his momentum, Oscar rushed forward to chase down the Assassins that he had just propelled backwards at terminal velocity. He caught up, running between the group as they sailed through the air. He activated Odin's Wrath and slammed them all down to the ground with a wide-sweeping circular arc. Their health bars tanked to zero and they shattered on impact, leaving Oscar with a bunch of free loot to collect. He happily added it all to his inventory and put away his weapon. He found himself more excited to get back to peeling moss than he was to fight. Even though combat was excep
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