Oscar

Thread Summary 3 SP 123,160 Col 60 T1 Materials Familiar Mastery: Damage Unlocked Loot Summary ID: 121240 LD17+3, CD11 4400 Col, 4 T1 Materials, Unidentified T1 Perfect Weapon ID: 121241 LD5+3, CD7 3080 Col, 4 T1 Materials, Rare Trinket ID: 121242 LD6+3, LD10 4840 Col, Rare Trinket ID: 131245 LD18+3, CD11 5720 Col, 2 T1 Materials, Perfect Trinket ID: 131255 LD2+3, CD11 3520 Col, 2 T1 Materials ID: 131256 LD14+3, CD10 5720 Col, Rare Trinket ID: 131261 LD6+3, CD8 4800 Col, Rare Trinket ID: 131263 LD17+3, CD9 4400 Col, 4 T1 Materials, T1 Perfect Weapon ID: 131362 LD14+3, CD12 5720 Col, Rare Trinket ID: 131363 LD15+3, CD7 2640 Col, 4 T1 Materials, Rare Consumable, Rare Armor ID: 131364 LD15+3, CD5 2640 Col, 4 T1 Materials, Rare Consumable, Rare Armor ID: 131366 LD13+3, CD9 3960 Col, 4 T1 Materials, Rare Trinket ID: 131375 LD18+3, CD9 5720 Col, 2 T1 Materials, T1 Perfect Trinket ID: 131376 LD17+3, CD10 5280 Col, 2 T1 Materials, T1 Perfect Weapon ID: 131379 LD18+3, CD6 4400 Col, T1 Perfect Armor, 2 T1 Perfect Consumables ID: 131380 LD17+3, CD9 4840 Col, 4 T2 Materials, T1 Perfect Trinket ID: 131389 LD14+3, CD1 3520 Col, 2 T1 Materials, Rare Weapon, Rare Consumable ID: 131390 LD6+3, CD1 3520 Col, 2 T1 Materials, Uncommon Consumable ID: 131391 LD3+3, CD10 3960 Col, 2 T1 Materials, Rare Trinket ID: 131393 LD16+3, CD11 5280 Col, 2 T1 Materials, T1 Perfect Weapon ID: 131403 LD18+3, CD4 4400 Col, T1 Perfect Armor, T1 Perfect Weapon ID: 131407 LD17+3, CD3 2640 Col, 4 T1 Materials, Perfect T1 Consumable, Rare Trinket ID: 131408 LD18+3, CD12 6600 Col, T1 Perfect Trinket ID: 131412 LD4+3, CD7 3080 Col, 2 T1 Materials, Rare Trinket ID: 131421 LD20+3, CD11 6160 Col, 2 T1 Materials, T1 Perfect Consumable ID: 131422 LD18+3, CD10 6600 Col, T1 Perfect Trinket ID: 131423 LD1+3, CD3 2640 Col, 4 T1 Materials ID: 131425 LD7+3, CD5 3080 Col, 4 T1 Materials, Rare Trinket

Once they reached the gates of the settlement, Oscar stopped down and picked up a stone. Having cut their teeth on dense pieces of jungle hardwood, Oscar felt like they were ready for their final test. Oscar offered the stone to them. Leeroy and Jenkins hesitated for a moment before Jenkins slowly took it into his mouth. After a moment and a small lick of encouragement from Leeroy, Jenkins bit down with all of his might. For a moment, it seemed like Jenkins had failed. But he kept applying pressure until, eventually, the rock cracked. Then, the cracks began to grow wider. Before he knew it Jenkins had pulverized the stone completely with its jaws. Oscar beamed down at his familiar as they began to celebrate their success. It was perfect timing. They could stay home and relax after lunch. Coming back out wouldn't be necessary. A perfect end to a perfect day, if Oscar said so himself.

A final Screw Dimension decided the fight. His axe cleaved right through the Orc, leaving Oscar with the final bit of loot to collect. Which he did, happily. Even if Leeroy and Jenkins were unsuccessful on their next training attempt, Oscar was about done with fighting. He'd about had his fill of combat. They could get the training done after lunch if they absolutely had to. But Oscar wouldn't be fighting anymore Orcs today. So, he left the encampment and began heading back to the main town again. Leeroy and Jenkins padded along behind him, a quiet whine escaping his lips. He was hungry too, it seemed. Definitely couldn't get away with putting lunch off any longer. Due to this Oscar picked up the pace. Partially because he was hungry and partially because he could have sworn he heard the roar of the Monkey King in the distance. He definitely did not want to fight that thing again.

Sure enough, his second Explode Catapult managed to hit the one that he'd missed last round. Not only that, it made short work of the other weakened Orcs. Their green forms splintered and shattered like glass, leaving behind loot for Oscar to collect. This meant that he only had to worry about dodging one attack. He made a point of doing just that before collecting the loot that littered the ground. It was still raining Perfects. Perhaps this luck would maintain itself when he decided to farm something more on his level. But probably not. Oscar was never that lucky. However, as he began to circle the final remaining Orc, he realized that he could always junk sell these items to get even more Col for his troubles. The thought wasn't entirely unappealing. But first things first. Kill the orc, train the doggo, and then get lunch. In that precise order.

Oscar rushed into the Orcs and let fly an Explode Catapult. While he missed one of them, he managed to land a Holy Proc on the first one he hit. It seemed his surprise attack tactic was starting to pay off again because they seemed to be caught on the back foot, unable to take clean aim at Oscar. As such, their blades sailed past him harmlessly. Ending the round having taken no damage, he figured the fight was going about as well as he'd expected it to. He'd long since given up hope of ending a fight in two rounds and had accepted his fate of deal with three rounds of combat for the rest of his days. All he needed to do was hit the Orc he'd missed next round and things would be back on track. He couldn't help but be similarly invigorated by the success of his familiar. He wasn't even mad that he'd missed one of the orcs right now, if he were being completely honest with himself.

Now all that remained was waiting for his energy to finish refilling. Something told him that this would, in fact, be the final round of combat for him. Both Leeroy and Jenkins had been successful in training and, invigorated by their recent success, their final success seemed to be on the horizon. But Oscar wanted to squeeze out one last fight before they finished up for the day. He was already well over 100,000 Col earned. He wanted to squeeze this grinding session for every bit of Col he possibly could before heading home. But before that he had to deal with the infinite frustration of waiting for energy. Easily his least favorite part of any grinding session. That being said, Oscar could see that the final group of orcs - in fact the second group he'd fought - had respawned while the first had not. Taking them out in short order would mean that he would have a clean shot back to the gate so he could go home.

Oscar placed another hunk of wood in Leeroy's mouth. The hound wasted no time chomping down on it. For a moment, it seemed like the wood wouldn't give like the other bits. But, after a moment and constant pressure from Leeroy's jaws, the hunk of wood cracked. Then, Leeroy followed through and crushed the hunk of wood completely. For a moment, both Leeroy and Jenkins seemed to be surprised in equal measure. Then, the two of them yipped happily and began to run around in circles. Oscar couldn't have been more proud. He even forgot his hunger for a moment as he hunkered down and gave them both a tight hug around the neck. Jenkins seemed to be caught up in the excitement just as much as Leeroy as both of them gave Oscar double the licks in tandem with the other. Finally, though, they backed off. Both of them seemed to realize that they needed to focus. They still had one more round that they needed to clear, after all.

This time, his strike found its mark. The Orc shattered like glass, leaving nothing but its loot behind. Loot that Oscar was all too happy to collect. He looked at his nearly-depleted Energy Bar and breathed a sigh of relief. If he'd missed too much more, he wouldn't have had the energy to finish. Of course, the creature's health had been so low, a simple Ordinal Cleave would have probably still done more than enough damage to do it in. But now that he was out of combat, it was time to focus on Leeroy and Jenkins again. They just needed two more successful rounds of training before the day's excursion was completed. He had a feeling that both of those were imminent. All he needed to do was give them the proper encouragement and they'd be able to pull it off. Plus, Leeroy looked all to eager to redeem his performance thus far. He could see the fire in the hound's eyes now. It was time to put it to the test.

The stream of expletives that fell from Oscar's mouth as he missed yet another Screw Dimension on the orc was so vulgar that it would have made a sailor blush and a nun faint. If aggro was based on sound, Oscar would have probably brought the entire encampment, several outriders, and the Monkey King charging straight to his location. Luckily, that wasn't a thing in Aincrad to his knowledge. At least, the mobs surrounding him didn't respond to it. The orc moved to strike but Oscar danced out of the way of its blow. He got really cranky when he was hungry. Of course, he didn't really get "hungry" in the traditional sense. He got the sensation of hunger in his gut, but there was no way that eating data would sate him in the real world. He imagined that he'd probably long since been moved to a hospital where he was given nutrients intravenously and treated like a run-of-the-mill coma patient. How else was he even still alive, after all?

Oscar groaned in frustration when his axe sailed harmlessly past the Orc, his Screw Dimension missing the green-skinned creature by a mile. The consolation was that the Orc had similar luck hitting Oscar as well. Small comfort given how low Oscar's energy was getting, but at least he didn't have to worry about his health bar being chipped away at while he struggled to hit a fairly easy target. "Sometimes it be like that though," Oscar said in an effort to comfort himself. This wasn't the first time he'd found himself unable to land a blow for several rounds. It probably wouldn't be the last. Despite that knowledge, it still didn't keep his mood from souring. It was almost lunch time and Oscar was hungry. He could only imagine after all this training that Leeroy and Jenkins were hungry too. This Orc was standing in between them and lunch. And that, dear reader, was completely unforgivable.

All it took was a single swing of his axe to dash any hopes of ending this fight in three rounds. Two of the orcs shattered like glass and were scattered on the winds. But one, ironically the one that had been Holy procced, remained standing. The saving grace of this situation was that it was easier to keep track of one adversary as opposed to two or three. As such, he was able to easily dodge the incoming attack and collect his waiting loot all in one fluid motion. Then, he wheeled around and put the Orc back in his crosshairs once again. He wondered whether the creature spawned with extra evasion that made it so hard to hit. Sometimes mobs had extra stats like that. But he'd just have to deal with it if that were the case. It wasn't as if running away was in any way an option right now. It would be less efficient than simply going through the Orc and it would totally mess up his grinding anyway.

If Oscar was tired of missing in the first round, he was absolutely livid in the second. Not he had only been successful at slaying one and hitting one other. That being said, there was still a chance he could salvage this and still make it a three round encounter, though the prospects of that felt rather slim. In any case, he kept his head in the game and made sure to keep an eye on each one of the orcs as he weaved through their attacks. He wouldn't have another sword poking out of his chest again. No sirree bob. His back was still throbbing from his poorly thought-out sudden movement away from the Orc. Instinct sucked sometimes. He felt confident he could have kept his composure had the creature hit him from the front. But there was something about not being able to see one's attacker that made the response all the more visceral. He took a moment to collect his loot and got ready for the next round.

He was really getting tired of missing. His Explode Catapult had managed to find its mark on three of the four Orcs. His Holy Enhancement had even managed to proc, putting one of them on death's door. Despite that, he'd still managed to leave one of them completely unscathed, guaranteeing this fight would take at least three total rounds. To make matters worse, he found that one of the orcs had snuck around him while he was dodging attacks from the other three and planted its blade into Oscar's back. He swore loudly and broke away from the Orc, tearing the sword from his back in the process. That only made the pain worse as if he'd waited for the Orc to pull out again, it probably wouldn't have twisted in the process. But, the pain would soon subside. Such was the nature of pain. Fleeting and ephemeral, though in the moment it felt like it would last forever.

Oscar struggled in vain to keep his face from being painted with a fresh coat of saliva. Of course, he was completely unsuccessful and quickly decided to stop fighting and just let it happen. Soon enough, Leeroy tired himself out and let Oscar up off of the ground. Oscar sighed and wiped his face with his sleeve. He was happy that stains weren't a thing in Aincrad. At least not permanent ones. Could you imagine having to go to the laundromat in a video game? Now that he thought about it, it really sounded like a neat feature, all things considered. Probably would be a hassle, but still. In any case, it was about time to get back to work on grinding. Oscar got back on his feet and started looking around again. As luck would have it, the first group he had dispatched had finally respawned. So now, it was just a matter of putting them down again. He imagined by the time he was done with that, the second group would respawn too, leaving him with a clear path to the exit.

This time, upon picking up the hunk of wood, Oscar made sure to offer it to Leeroy so Jenkins wouldn't [censored] it away from him. Jenkins looked annoyed, but allowed Oscar to proceed. Leeroy took the wood in his mouth and bit down hard. Despite his best efforts, however, the wood wouldn't shatter. Leeroy spat it out, clearly disappointed. Jenkins, in a rare display of empathy, nudged his brother lightly with his snout. If ever a dog looked like it was about to try, it was now, but Jenkins managed to make the light return to Leeroy's eyes. Leeroy gave his brother a happy lick on the nose before turning his attention back to Oscar. "Oh no." If Leeroy could speak, Oscar imagined that he would have said "Oh yes." Suddenly, the hound lunged forward, pinning Oscar to the ground again.