Kirbs

"Oh," she mumbled, frowning. Afternoons were better, anyway.

She hummed, nodding in recognition to Kityuisa as she stifled another yawn. It was good seeing those two meet up again. She wasn't sure when it was the last time they met but it made her feel warm to see people reuniting with friends.

"A giant monkey?" She echoed, scratching her chin. She was sure she had heard about that quest before. It shouldn't be too hard, right? "Sounds good. It sounds pretty easy," she said smoothly, shoving her hands into her pockets. 

You could never be too sure, that almost inaudible voice in the back of her head echoed. The redhead let out a silent gulp as she tried her best to push that thought away. They were going to be fine. Nothing was going to go wrong in this quest, and she was going to make sure of it.

She shook her head and then looked back at Kityuisa. "I'm good, what about you?" She asked, tilting her head. She didn't seem to need any potions before, and she seemed perfectly fine. 

Using <<Essence of Steel>> on an item!

Item being changed:

Item being changed into:

The redhead mumbled under her breath as she looked through her inventory from her place on the bench. Unfortunately, it was pretty bare. She made a mental note-- even though she knew she was going to forget it, anyway-- to go shopping for new gear soon. 

Scarfy let out a low rumble from his throat as he got comfortable on the seat next to her. Kirbs shuddered. It felt incredibly weird to not have him around her neck. He kind of just felt like another piece of clothing to her. Although, she guess it was weird having gotten used to the feeling of two scarves on her all the time. Closing her menu, she sat, hunched over with her hands in front of her. Regretting life choices, obviously. What else was she going to do? Be happy? No, no. She has no time for things like that. Note the sarcasm.

@Iron_Lion

"I am, aren't I?" She chuckled, resting the butt of her spear against the ground as she stared at the distant overgrowth of trees. She felt like a free person when she was fighting. It was kind of like her drug to such a [doo doo]-y world; it was the only thing keeping her from going insane at this point. 

Kirbs felt tears prickling in her eyes as she listened. She didn't want any more people she knew getting hurt-- or worse, dead. She lost her best friend already, she couldn't lose anyone else, even if it meant she was going to do it alone. She gulped the heavy lump in her throat as she took the Essence of Steel from Alec. She looked up at the man and felt her lower lip tremble. "You can't help me," she whispered, both of her fists clutching until she was sure her nails were digging through her skin. "No one can help me anymore," she muttered almost inaudibly one last time before walking off silently. 

Kirbs sighed in relief when she saw that Alec was okay. Why wouldn't he be, right? He was a tank!

You could never be too careful. You thought Bell was safe, too. That damn voice in the back of her head told her otherwise, though. 

She shrugged her shoulders coolly as she struggled to bite out any words. The knot in her throat felt impossible to get down, so she just dashed forward for another attack instead. 

Wanting to test out another one of her new sword arts, she activated her second most lethal one. The redhead leaped into the air once again and delivered six rapid stabs this time. Her eyes trailed over the beast's health bar. Almost there. She drew back her spear one last time and with a quick burst of energy, dug it straight into the chest of the beast, silencing it.

It burst into a cloud of red, leaving the girl to land on the ground softly as she stared at the leaving shards of red. "We're done," she commented, gripping her spear in her right hand.

Kirbs looked down at her feet with a guilty look and sighed. If only if it were that easy. Talking made her feel worse. It made her feel weak. She's done enough talking. She needed to take action. 

The sound echoed through the silent forest breezily. Then rumbling disturbed it. Kirbs equipped her weapon and back a few steps. Come on. Don't be shy, she thought, both her hands gripping down on her spear tighter as Scarfy slithered down her arm, tightening around it till it was painful. 

In a blink of an eye, a giant beast emerged from the snowy ground, letting out a loud and petrifying roar. Sparing no time to waste, Kirbs activated one of her more newer sword arts. The redhead leaped up until the air, drawing her spear back with both hands. She paused midair for a second to look at the beast straight in the face just before she sent four quick stabs down its body. She landed on the ground for a quick second before propelling herself up once more, landing a final attack from the beast with a kick.

"I know," she mumbled, hugging her arms. She felt guilty for partially lying to Alec. "Yeah," she stiffened at the quest. Was it really that noticeable. "Just tired," she said, just to solidify the lie. "Nothing's wrong," she sniffed, stifling another yawn. She wished she could to herself. As much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't escape the truth. 

She wished nothing was wrong. She wished everything was fine and dandy with her life. It felt like everything wrong she had been keeping in the closet had finally spilled out. Now everything was wrong. There was never anything right. Just wrong.

She didn't think that Alec could help her, either. What could he really do? Just make all of her sorrows and pain vanish? She shook her head and sighed. The world doesn't work like that. Maybe he would make her feel better for a slight second, and then all the wrong things would come crashing down again.

Kirbs bumped into the wall as she dizzily walked around her shop. Note to self, don't get up right away after you take a nap. Her palm grabbed onto the side of her head as she groaned in pain. Great, now she had a splitting headache. What bloody fun. She had jolted awake right away when she had read Bahr's message. Too much time had she been cooped up in her shop. She couldn't even remember what the day was anymore. Today was a Monday, right? She always hated Mondays. 

She stumbled around a few more times before finally regaining balance, although, she still had the head splitting headache. The girl held out her hand to her familiar, to which he gladly slithered on to. Thank God he was being easy to work with today. She didn't know what she would have done if he was being difficult, but it wouldn't be pretty. She left her doorless shop and was immediately met with a bright arse light. Oh right, the sun. She forgot that was a thing. Kirbs hissed as she held her hand over her eyes, maneuvering towards the teleport gate with a strained expression. She didn't like the dark-- hell, she was terrified of it-- but damn, she was begging for it to be dimmer. 

After getting all the way to the eighth floor, she stumbled off of the teleport gate and followed her map. He should be around here somewhere. When she did finally see the mop of white hair, she sighed and walked over to him tiredly. "Morning?" Or was it the afternoon?

Kirbs felt dizzy as a bunch of other people came into view. Kityuisa, Krysta? Where in the bloody hell did they come from? Kirbs blinked as she suddenly felt like all of her social awkwardness she had worked so hard to get rid of come back. Man, if Bell was here... they could be socially awkward together. God, she had worked so hard to help him get out of his shell. 

Get out my head.

The girl shook her head as she scrunched up her brows. She hated how every thought always came back to him. It was starting to make her both pissed off and depressed. 

Kirbs muttered a few curses under her breath as she finally shook the thoughts away. She focused back to the rest of the group and gave a brief chuckle as she watched the young girl get entranced with Krysta's familiar. Thank God she decided to leave Scarfy back at the shop. She didn't know what would happen if this little girl stared straight in the eyes of her familiar. The redhead coughed and raised her voice, "alright. It's good to see you two," she paused, nodding to both Krysta and Kityuisa. "This here," she gestured over to the young girl, "is..." Her eyes glanced over to the corner of her vision. Fuyuno. "Her name is Fuyuno. She doesn't really... talk?" She faltered, not really knowing if her explanation made any sense. "So yeah. I was just going to help her with that tutorial quest."

“Mhm,” she murmured, hold her hands together in front of her. She wondered what it would be like if Scarfy was a support familiar. How would he even help her in battle at that point? It also amazed her how the bear healed Alec. She’s never really seen Humphrey do whatever he does but she sure as hell wanted to find out.

Kirbs jolted awake as she felt the bear cub run in her leg. She nearly toppled to the ground but her other leg caught her just in time. “Watch it,” the redhead mumbled, regaining her stance again. The player sighed again before saying a quick apology, “sorry. I’m just... tired.” She didn’t give a specific reason why she was the way she was, but figured he would just think that she was being a typical teenage girl and staying up doing whatever teenage girls do. Whatever that was, anyway.

Kirbs nuzzled further into Scarfy and, well-- her scarf as she followed after Alec. She couldn't help but give another yawn. Damn, she really needed to catch up on more z's when she got home. She shook her body as she tried to get rid of the drowsiness and looked around aimlessly. Living here must've been nice. Perhaps she could move here if she ever has the chance to buy a house. Though, she would miss the scene she would wake up to every morning at her shop. 

Turning her head back to Alec and Humphrey, the girl gave a light laugh as she watched the bear cub attack the snow. "Still a wild one, I see," she commented, smiling at the cub fondly. He looked so carefree. Boy, what she would do to get that feeling back. The feeling of waking up and knowing that nothing was wrong. The feeling of being safe.

Kirbs yawned again and nodded her head on instinct. "Yeah, yeah. Sounds good," she mumbled, blinking away the condensation in her eyes. "Lead away, buckeroo," the redhead said. She turned her head towards the snow covered floor and sighed. Memories, both weird and fun, were held on this very floor. She met Sey and Leru here, and that was a big step up for her. She fought the Avalanche with Bahr here, as well as that damned giant pine cone creature. The girl smiled softly as she intertwined her hands together. She wished... she could just stay there just a little bit longer. 

Scarfy loosely lifted his head up from the crook of her neck and flicked his tongue in and out drowsily. Ah, of course. He was tired, too. She had probably kept him up all night with the furious sound of pen against paper. Poor Scarfy. He didn't seem to mind, at least. Well, at least that's what it seemed like to her. 

SUMMARY:

-5 SP

-1,000 Col

-<<Concentration Skill>>

Wet tears rolled down her face as she looked down at the messy paper. That's been happening a lot, too, recently. She would just start crying out of nowhere. It usually happened when her mind was blank and poof. She was crying. Drops of her 'salty' tears fell upon the parchment like rain as she cried her eyes out. It was good to cry. In private, of course. She would wonder what kind of looks she would get if she had started crying in public. She sighed and used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe away the wet droplets from both her face and paper. 

It wasn't long before she started to think about something darker, and now real tears were rolling down her face. "Why, Bell?" She asked to no one in particular as she looked down with shut eyes at her counter. "Why did you have to leave me all alone in such a scary place?"

There was a whole list of things. Ranging from quests she hasn't done yet to the names of people. Pinball was specifically scribbled on there quite often-- mostly along with words such as hate, murderer, and kill. Hell, if her pen could snap, she would've gone through at least ten of them by now. It had almost hurt gripping the pen that tight as she wrote down whatever danced into her head.

For once, she had her hair down outside of bed and to safely say, it felt weird not to have her hair in one place. The fact that it's long enough to drape down her shoulders is an odd fact to acknowledge for her. Maybe she should change the color of her hair, like what Dustin did to his? Her hair was bright enough, did it need to be even weirder? She's seen some people with some odd hair before. Kityuisa, Arabelle... now Dustin. She shook her head. Her hair was the most defining psychical trait about her. She couldn't really lose that in such a world like this.

Kirbs scribbled a small note on the top corner of her parchment paper. She leaned her chin on her palm and yawned tiredly. She's been up... for how many hours again? Four, five? Bloody ten? She's forgotten. She didn't really feel like going out again. It was all a repeat. She was probably going to coop herself up in her shop again for another week or so and just think. Think about everything wrong in her life. Think about everything that sucks in her life. Bell. Pinball. Maybe a few other people. 

Her face nearly slipped off of her palm to which she jolted awake. "What?" She mumbled drowsily, looking around her brightly lit shop with tired eyes. "Oh..." she trailed off, her eyes slowly turning back to the piece of paper she had in front of her. There were messy words scribbled on the piece of paper and it looked very, very unorganized. But she could make out a few pieces of her own writing.

REEE. I'll take that too. ( :3 )

Kirbs yawned and shook her head drowsily-- a result from her many, many late nights up and whacked up sleep schedule. It's been a while since she's left the shop. Was it a good thing-- possibly?

 "Sorry, I'm not really a big fan of hot coco." She never really liked hot drinks. Bell liked them, though. He loved tea, to the point where it made her barf. She smiled sadly to herself as she dazed off again. As much as she wanted the thought of him out of her head, she couldn't help but cling on to him. She felt like he was her only driving force anymore. Dead or alive, she fought for him. Fought to get rid of the people who stripped away friends from friends and family from family. She didn't have any other driving factor but that one. She was getting stronger to make sure to rid of people like Pinball.

Pinball.

Oh, how she loathed that very name. It once sounded so innocent before. She once thought that he was just a misunderstood kid like her-- but no, he was far worse. He was a bloody monster who killed for no reason. That must be it right? Bell would have never done anything to harm anyone, so who would kill him?

Her whole body shook as she curled up into a ball on her bed. "Please get out," she whimpered, her voice cracking. "I don't want you here. Please, Bell, get out!" She screamed. It didn't stop. Not at all. So many voices were echoing through her head now.

Your fault.

No it's not!

Your fault.

Is it?

More tears streamed down her face as she clutched the pillow even closer. It seemed like they only got louder. "Stop torturing me, Bell! I'm sorry, okay?!" The redhead's own voice pierced her ears as she heard it echo down to the first floor of her shop. He doesn't forgive me. Although, not said, she knew it. She knew it from the deepest part of her heart. Forgiveness isn't given to those who are weak. That's what she was, right? Weak. If only she was stronger... maybe Bell would be alive. Maybe she wouldn't have to feel any of this.

It made her smile briefly when she saw how excited Alec was to see her. She was genuinely excited it see the old man again, but then all of her problems came crashing down on her again. "It's good to see you too, old man," she chuckled. His question made her almost laugh. Almost.

Nodding her head with a small smile, she opened her own menu and pointed towards a certain button. "It's this one, right here," she said, looking up at Alec one last time before closing her menu with a swipe. Kirbs looked towards the horizon and blinked. Floor four, huh? It was a peaceful floor. Aside from all of the freezing cold she used to have to endure, it was one of her favorite floors. Bell would've liked it here. She never knew if he had ever left the first floor. She hoped he did, though. He would've like seeing all of the nice scenery Aincrad had to offer.

Never. Again. Her best friend's life was stripped away from him by a murderer. A murderer she has seen countless times and let go. The grip on her head got tighter as more tears streamed down her face. Why. Why did this have to happen? Did she really have to endure all of this crap? How long would it be before all of this doo doo get out of her head? Was it going to be like this forever? Would she always have his frekin' ghost haunting her like this?! She didn't want to feel like this! 

Out. Out.

Out!

She wanted this all out of her head! His ghost! It won't stop haunting her damn mind! Every time she closed her eyes. His face. His face was always there. Yelling at her. Begging her. Begging her to save him. Save him from that filthy murderer. Yelling at her for being unable to do anything.

"Get out of my damn head!" She screamed, clutching her head. So many thoughts were whirling through her head. She wanted them gone.

Gone.

Gone.

She couldn't bare this bloody torture anymore. She wished she was just like some game save file. A few clicks of a few buttons and everything would be reset. Memory wipe. Maybe-- maybe, just maybe. The girl sobbed even harder as she clutched a rouge pillow to her chest. How could she think of such a thing? She was stronger than that! How could she so bloody weak?

How could she not be weak?

Her best friend died. Possibly the only person she cared about other than her family was dead. And he is never going to come back. Forever. She was never going to see that smiling face again. Never that same shade of red orange hair again. Never see those dorky glasses again. 

Her whole future felt like it was stolen by her. By Pinball. Maybe she and Bell could've had a future together. Did she actually like Bell? No, scratch that-- was she in love with Bell? Her hands clamped around her sheets as she thought about that. They were in love, right? They kissed and everything. So they were in love, right?

Tears escaped from her eyes as she looked up at the blurry ceiling. Had she been lying to Bell? Was she saying she was in love with him when she wasn't? It felt like love at the time. But she had been separated from him for two years prior to that... so was it just some kind of feeling that was temporary? Had she been acting on impulse all this time? Who was she even fighting for anymore!? Herself?! Bell?! Her bloody sanity?! She felt like she didn't even know who she was anymore.

Placeholder

Kirbs groggily walked down the town she didn't bother to remember the name. It was weird, this time, Scarfy wasn't around her neck, but around her arm-- the same place he would be at when they were in battle. To say it was attracting a few stares was an understatement. Everyone was looking at her. She didn't bother changing the way Scarfy was placed, though. But she did shift uncomfortably around as she watched peoples' eyes on her. Seriously, how could this be abnormal? She's seen a bloody living pine cone! 

Blinking away the tears in her eyes from the giant arse yawn she just had, she saw a familiar figure. Strange. She has been seeing Bahr and Kityuisa a lot lately. Strolling over to her, Kirbs let out a low mumble of curses before flashing her a small smile-- that really just kind of died instantly. "Hey, there, stranger. How do you do?"