Alkor

They scattered, panicked voices echoing through his mind. Had he startled them by coming so close? Alkor tried to even touch one of them, but it was outside his reach. Crows swirled around him like a maelstrom, inky darkness threatening to consume his thoughts.

What is it you seek?

The voice crowded his mind suddenly, though it was not his own. Alkor blinked and thought to speak, but no sound came. His voice caught in his throat and remained there like a lump.

Is it power? Power that you lack, or that you would use? For what do you seek power?

He tried once more in vain to speak, but only succeeded in letting out a mangled cough. His voice was like razor blades cutting at the insides of his esophagus, failing to do anything but cause him intense pain.

Was this the world around him, or something else?

You will find nothing of power. Turn back. Leave this place, or find only despair.

"I went to see what it was like," he answered honestly. "And to check to see how far behind I had fallen. I didn't want to believe it was as much as it actually was. Some part of me wanted to think that I was important, and I'd had an actual impact on clearing floors."

Now I know better. It's not about one person, no matter how good they are. If we don't all work together, if not every one of us survives, we lost something important along the way.

But I can't just say that to Lessa. The last thing she remembers is me not being here. Me not being there when she needed me. Me failing to protect her, the way I always said I would.

All because I let some psychopath provoke me.

"If not for some weird guy who punched me in the face, I probably wouldn't have survived. Oh well," Alkor gave a half-hearted shrug. He didn't really want to get into that. "Lesson learned. I'm not heading that way again any time soon, I don't think."

Alkor turned his gaze toward the fields outside of Urbus. He had spent some time here recently. The Wasp Queen field boss, in particular. It wasn't far out, so he technically had invested no real time on the floor since back then.

"I haven't spent much time here since before the Hydra boss," he told her honestly. "So, I guess we're both out of practice?"

@Lessa

He stopped short of entry to the town, barred by none other than Father Wuotan. Alkor half expected the man to skip over him after the apparent lack of joy that his conversation had thrust upon him, but the kindly man appeared before him nonetheless. Alkor managed to smile at that fact.

"I can understand that," his voice softened and grew quiet. It hurt, in reality, that he couldn't do more for someone or offer a shoulder that they could cry on. Mari had decided she wanted what she wanted, and what she wanted, Alkor could not give. Christmas miracles weren't always possible, it turned out.

What it appeared was possible, however, was the kindness of the man before him. "I appreciate the gesture, Father," Alkor said with a bit more confidence in his voice, "and I need to get stronger. I've just started to learn the Curved Sword, and while I'm gaining some skill with the weapon, I find I don't exactly have a blade that can really do the damage I'd like to be dealing. Is that something you could help with?"

He opened both palms and turned them upward, offering the man a display of helplessness. "I'll totally understand if not, of course."

@Father Wuotan

Sounds good, let's get this party started.

Caw.

Their call was uniform, mocking him. Not one showed a health meter like an enemy, not one seemed to have any intention of interacting with him. They stirred occasionally, moving purposefully to some unheard rhythm. It felt like the Cardinal system had led him to this place only to play with his mind.

Illusory flapping of their wings at intervals played tricks on his mind. He turned at high speed on his heel, desperate to see anything that might try to blindside him. Nothing came.

"Okay," he changed tactics. Alkor was paranoid as a rule because he was a loner, so the very thought that something might sneak up on him caused his anxiety to spike. In a version of Sword Art Online where the distress limiters had been removed, it was a recipe for disaster, and yet, it also meant the most real experience possible.

The sadism of Akihiko Kayaba knew no bounds.

Alkor drew his blade as he circled backward through the Grove, seeking any sign of the sole creature his quest had indicated. There had to be one, somewhere. There was nothing in this place to fight. Nothing to find. There had to be something.

S-senpai, you left Saying Vows on the list~

*B L U S H*

In all seriousness, however, how does Treant Rivalries sound to you? That sounds feasible for someone at my level to be at least somewhat useful.

@Ariel - The Crowned Lion

He stepped into the Grove with an expression of awe plastered across his face. The murder of crows only stared down at him from every direction, almost certainly disinterested in the single Player that had stumbled upon their secret lair. If they were afraid, it was not apparent; and if they intended to chase him off, they had not given any sign of such.

"Are you all familiars?" he asked quietly. "Or... I guess, are you the type of creatures I'm able to tame?"

He reached up as if to touch one, and the message flickered across his HUD. Immortal Object. The bird cawed lazily and flapped its wings twice to signify it had been disturbed, but otherwise made no attempt to move. It seemed that they had no interest in him whatsoever.

But they were there, they were everywhere.

He watched several of the avian creatures take flight, as if perturbed by the sudden intrusion while others seemed not to take any notice whatsoever. As Alkor moved through the dimly lit copse of trees, he stared with mouth agape.

The Swordsman glanced skyward and shielded his eyes from sunlight that peeked through the leaves. It always felt surreal to him how the warmth and cold in Aincrad actually felt so real. He reached out as though he meant to take the sphere of fire in hand, spilling the shadow of his hand over his face.

"Okay, I've come pretty far from the Town, so north is this way..." he mused as he used the position of the sun relative to the time shown on his HUD to determine direction. He hated toggling the mini map when he could just use his surroundings to navigate. He had learned that from his Grandfather. "Guess I'll keep heading deeper into the trees and see what I can find."

The sound of a bird calling grew louder as he went, and he heard more of them join in like a chorus. Was there a settlement of some sort of avian nearby? How had he never heard about that? The info brokers should have been aware if there was a secret hidden on the first floor.

"I've got some idea how to proceed," he told while folding both arms across his chest. Alkor stood so that he faced both Mari and Macradon. Both Players spoke like they had information to impart about builds and strategies, but while Alkor was behind, he still understood the bare basics.

That wasn't to say that he had applied them to any degree. He had a healthy number of skill points allocated and some strength to show for it, but that was all. Any real development or specialization had yet to manifest in his play style.

It made sense that they didn't see him as on that level, because effectively, he was not. He wanted to be- he had the drive to be. He just had yet to attain it.

"But I'm not quite ready to commit to it, yet. I've only just reached level 25, see. I've been behind for a while, and I've got to put in the work to catch back up."

@Macradon @Mari

He spent a brief amount of time after his run in with Lessa's new friend Bahr on this floor. The conversation and altercation between the two men could remain secret for all he cared. Whether Bahr had disclosed it or not was unclear, and Lessa hadn't treated him any differently for it if he had.

However, the conversation between them had left things icy. Truths lost for multiple years within Aincrad had thawed and come to the surface like a great glacier sundered by the climate. Water levels had risen and Alkor began to drown. It seemed Lessa felt the effects as well.

"They're good with information, but I doubt they're that well informed. Unless they have someone watching you." He didn't think that was realistic. No info broker was that invested in a single client. "It's possible that they started digging so they could profit further. That's much more likely."

He rested his forearm on the hilt of his blade and shifted his weight onto his right foot. "Second floor's not much less tame than the first," he said. "Shouldn't be a bad time here, either."

@Lessa

The creatures he could see never came close. Sparrows flitted through the treetops and paid him no heed. Snakes slithered through grass, though he had seen other Players with them, but never interacted with him. He heard a faint growl somewhere nearby, but no beast appeared to accompany it.

He stopped low and ran his fingers through the dirt, using his untrained tracking skill to look for clues. Nothing. "Is there anything out here that I can actually befriend?" he asked. "Maybe the system knows I'm a loner and it's responding to that."

Somehow, he doubted that.

The Swordsman stood upright and took stock of his surroundings. There was something, somewhere that would react. He just had to be patient and keep looking. The game didn't give quests that couldn't be completed.

Alkor folded his arms and bowed his head in thought. He needed to find a familiar to train, but his skills were yielding no fruit. "Now what...?"

She pulled up her hood and headed for the edge of a high outcropping. She looked over the snow and continued to speak, and as she came close to the edge, he stood on his toes. As the woman kicked snow over the side, he relaxed onto the balls of his feet and shook his head. "You certainly don't have to go anywhere, and I'm not going to tell you otherwise. But, I do have things that I need to figure out and I need to get to them. If you need me, please don't hesitate to message, Amari." 

Alkor headed slowly back toward Taft. 'Maybe someday soon,' she said. Perhaps she was mocking him, perhaps she was serious. The swordsman never knew what drove people to say or do the things they did. He genuinely hoped she could recover from this and be better than ever before.

For him, though, he had taken a step forward. From here, Alkor could only grow. 

He hoped that he would become someone he could be proud of.

Alkor listened to her for a short time as she unloaded her emotions. There were things hidden in her words he could not quite grasp, but if the things she said were taken at face value, he understood well enough. The night sky was beautiful, and in some way cathartic. Several nights he remembered staring and getting lost in the stars himself. But they did not bring him comfort as they did her.

His gaze lingered there after her words. There was self awareness there, and he was relieved to hear it. "You're not alone," he said at last. "You hurt now, but that fades with time. You have people who will help if you let them. Don't forget that. It's easy to fall into the trap of despair."

He knew that all too well.

Alkor rested his hand on the hilt of his sword. "It's cold out here," he added, "you should find someplace warm to rest up."

@Mari

It was the end of a day, and the end of an age.

Alkor had spoken plainly. It had created wounds that, given time, might heal. Those same wounds, with improper handling and miscommunication, could exacerbate and Mari might devolve into something far darker than she had been before. It was her decision to make, ultimately.

Once, the first time they had met, Alkor had given the woman a warning. If she took life, he would exact justice upon her for the sakes of those who still lived. Heavy as that hung, as he looked at her mentally retreating form, he silently remembered those words.

For her own sake, if the woman ever lost herself again, he would do the right thing. He would let her die and rest peacefully before he let her live as the monster she now believed herself to be.

But those things were not set in stone.

"Sunset," he whispered ironically. "I love sunsets."

It was one thing he had said that came from the heart, all those many moons ago. Part of him had been in the act, but all good lies carry grains of truth. Still, someone who Alkor did love once told him that to lie was worse than any sin.

He was ready to live that way now. No more falseness. No more miscommunications- he would express his true, full meaning, and through the anguish, he would find himself.

He hoped Amari would find her truth, too.

"Hey," he managed to call to her. "Merry Christmas. Build your snowman," he said. "I'm going to go."

@Mari

"You think I didn't feel the weight of what I'd done?" Alkor stared hard at the woman with his needlessly harsh eyes. He had always been that way. Some things would never change. Others, had.

"The ability to take a life is not license to do so." He thrust a finger in her direction. "I knew that. I made that decision because I couldn't let anyone else be hurt by someone who had no concept of that fact. I couldn't let someone who would never agonize over the lives they had taken continue to take them. For the rest of my life I have to live knowing I ended the lives of human beings. I know that."

Alkor grit his teeth and stepped close to her again. "You think this god forsaken cursor changes that? You think the color of a pixelated icon inside of a game erases my actions? Wake the hell up, Amari- this is life. Actions are real. Memories don't disappear when you close your eyes, and sleepers still have nightmares."

He held his hand out to her when she'd fallen to the ground. "You can stand up now," he said, "and we can move forward. Or, you can stay there. That's up to you. "But dying won't change anything. It's not about whether or not you 'deserve to live.' It's about what you do with the time you have left.

And I'm going to do the right thing."

@Mari

"Don't love me," he said sternly as she spoke her final words. "Don't fall for me because I'm offering you a shoulder to cry on. I'm making good on something I didn't do properly. I'm not here to offer you a beautiful lie, I'm here to give you something real. If you don't want that, it's fine." 

He let go of her and took a step back. "I learned my lesson," he said, "I know I can't give kisses and wipe away tears and say things that sound wonderful, but that doesn't mean I can't be supportive in other ways."

Alkor took a ragged breath and quashed his shivers. He had to face this fear down. He had to be brave. Just reaching out to shakily hug her had taken a massive effort. He was past that now. Harsh words couldn't reach him now, and the ones that already had could no longer drag him down.

"You can't run from the things you did. I can't run from the things I did. We're adults, living in a world with real repercussions. Our actions have real consequences. I hurt you. I'm sorry. You killed people- you can't bring them back, but you can change. You have a choice."

The swordsman stiffened as the words moved through him, almost of their own volition. "We all have choices to make," he said, "and not all of them will be right. Who we are is defined not only by the choices, but how we move forward from them.

Running away isn't an option for me. Not anymore. It doesn't have to be for you, either."

@Mari

What else was there to say? She spoke like a child overwhelmed by things they couldn't understand. The way they tried to fix things that they knew were broken, but no idea how badly reflected in her words, her fragile and sweet spoken words. Alkor felt the scathing lash of her emotions bite into his flesh and drink deep of his blood. Even without cuts, he bled.

This was the Justice he deserved for the foolishness of his actions. He felt emptiness- the same emptiness that filled her smile and made it so sickeningly false. He only managed to see it when he forced himself to look at her. 

This wasn't how it should be. This was Christmas. This wasn't two friends treating each other well. This was two broken fools playing two discordant fiddles to two different tunes and dancing mindlessly to a masochistic rhythm. Thom wasn't having it that way.

He had done the right thing. The floodgates were open, and now, there was no turning back.

"I did wrong," he said, "but I'm going to do right. It's not too late for that. It's not too late for you, either."

She said things that he never remembered telling her. She spoke truths about him he had only ever shared with his closest of friends. Alkor felt each knife wound open in his stomach and pain blossom in his chest. 

As it should be.

"Don't rebuild on a broken foundation. Tear it all down and start properly." He reached out and took her by the shoulder, then pulled her close. He didn't kiss her. He didn't whisper lovingly about things he didn't know. He just held her to his chest. "Let it out," he managed to choke out. "Cry. Scream. Feel everything you need to. It's fine. I did wrong. It's not your fault."

@Mari

He stood for a long moment with cold air blasting him. What felt like a breeze before felt more like a biting gale. The wind never rose, the world simply stood still and his blood chilled. Not only were his friends alive, but Mari asked the question he had no idea how to handle. She said they would remain friends, and yet, she half expected- simply judging by her words. He caught himself holding his breath.

Alkor let it out, his shivers visible. "I don't know why, honestly," he spoke, his voice uneven. "After everything with Daeron, I felt like I'd done wrong by Lessa. I felt like I didn't know how to do right by anyone, so I had to do what I could to fix things. I had to be the hero for someone who needed me. So, in that moment where I had the chance- instead of doing the right thing, I did the thing I felt like someone wanted."

He knew the warmth was gone, and it wasn't coming back.

Alkor embraced the cold.

"So, yes," he bit his lip. "Alkor- I was trying so hard to give you that connection, that person who was reliable, who had emotions I couldn't understand..." Alkor... no. Thom tightened his hands to fists. He took a deep breath, and it froze in his lungs. When he exhaled, there was no relief. "I don't know what I feel," he said. "I've never known. I do know I care about my friends, and I know I want the best for all of them. I met you through the strangest circumstances, and because of events that transpired, I was thrust into an awkward situation that I should have been able to handle. But because I thought I was being kind... I ultimately did something that wasn't."

He didn't look at her this time. He half expected her to slap him for it. It stung even before she could speak. 

"I mean it when I say I want the best for you," he said quietly, "and I'm being completely honest when I say I know that's not me. You can find happiness- and you will. Just..."

He managed to force a smile. "...it's gonna take some time, I think."

@Mari

"What I'd wish for, huh?" he asked, mind gone to far away lands. "I hope Grandma's alright," he said absently. "I'd wish she found peace and comfort despite her Dementia. There were days she woke up screaming because it was so much for her to take. Between the doses of morphine, when she was halfway lucid, she'd ramble incoherently about things that made no sense. Children we had never heard of, playing together in a place we'd never been... it was madness," he stared at his feet now, expression hardened. "Her mind had gone to other worlds, and we were left with nothing but the pieces. Now, I hope she's found something like solace. That's all I could wish for."

He looked her way again and smiled a bit. "You said you want a green cursor," he noted, "and all that's going to take is some effort and a bit of help from good people. That's what surviving in this world is all about, honestly. We can't tear each other apart and expect not to be eaten alive by Cardinal."

With a laugh, he added, "and honestly, as bad as you think you are with people, you still managed to make friends."

When he received the file and opened it, his expression changed. He stood immediately, his eyes exploded wide open. "Is he alive?" he asked quickly. "Where did you see him last?"

He stood rigid for a moment before he finally relaxed. "No, no," he shook himself off. "I can't focus on that right now." He turned to face Mari. "I need to remember that I have things that take priority, and despite knowing he is- or was- here, I can't just drop everything like that. It's not responsible."

@Mari

"There's nothing wrong with needing to vent," he said honestly as he found a seat somewhere close by and against the wall. "We all have things we can't handle on our own. Yet, some of us still try. That's how I've always been. Try to take it all on alone."

He stared up at the snowy sky and closed his eyes. It felt like one of the few winters back home when he actually got to enjoy the snow. It wasn't harsh or world stopping like some of the storms he had experienced. It was a gentle, enjoyable experience.

"I think reaching out like you did despite not having anyone there to catch you if you fell was about the smartest decision you could have made. As for me, I think the game didn't register me as having existed, but I got at least a few of those messages."

He looked her way. "It's Christmas time, y'know?" His voice became softer. "You shouldn't worry about all that. It's in the past now. You can enjoy the festivities and move forward with your life. No more Player Killing. No more notoriety. Just a fresh chance at a... relatively normal life, I guess."

As normal as life in Aincrad could be.

"I'm really sorry I can't be more expressive or emotive," he told her finally. "For all the time I spent playing hero and trying to make sure everyone was happy around me, I couldn't actually learn how to be that person. I'm absolutely petrified of close contact, and I'm rotten at talking to people... but, I do want to help you, and I do want to see you take back your life. That's more important than anything else. Everyone deserves a full life. Even you, Amari."

His eyes swept across the snow-stained floor. "Even me," he muttered, "whatever a full life means for me."

He glanced up at her hair when she asked if he had just noticed. "Uh, well, it's not exactly the first thing I think about," he said honestly. "I sort of get focused on the task set in front of me so I can get it done. Tunnel vision. That kind of thing.

But, it looks nice. It's much more your speed."

@Mari

He made his way through the forested area near Honruka village and looked toward the canopy. In the trees, wind whispered, and it washed over him gently. He reached out to touch some of the bark, inspecting carefully to see whether anything had left markings or any clue as to where he should look. The Familiar Food did nothing to attract the beasts, it only kept them close once he had stumbled upon them and helped in the process of domesticating them. At least, that's what the broker had told him. It wasn't exactly information he could just discount. Everyone other than Alkor seemed to have a "pet" nearby.

Alkor wasn't interested in having a creature to fight for him. He wanted something that would give him an edge in combat, perhaps, but not something that took damage for him or jumped in the way. Perhaps a creature that improved his ability to do damage, or gave him the ability to exploit the enemy's weakness. A spy, maybe? Some sort of creature able to get a better perspective of Aincrad than the swordsman could manage on his own?

He let out a sigh. With no idea what he was looking for, a search would prove fruitless and walking in circles for hours would yield scant results.

"I wonder," he muttered to himself. "What kind of things can I find?"

She may as well have lined him up and given the order to fire. When she told Macradon who he was and Alkor got the feeling she had mentioned more than that, his face flushed. So, that was something she deigned to just casually speak about? He wasn't even aware that they were open with the information before, and yet, it seemed that it was widespread knowledge. It wasn't so much that he wanted to reprimand her as that he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. The high ranking Guild Player didn't speak on her words, however, and he extended his hand in greeting. He called himself "her sponsor."

Alkor accepted his handshake with a placid expression. "I'm so glad she's made good friends," he said with a hint of relief in his voice. "It would be hard for her to live with herself if she didn't atone for her actions in this world before she made her way back to her life beyond Aincrad, I think." The truth was, Alkor already felt stifled. He was trapped in this world with so many people who he had never met, and some he might never see again. In spite of that fact, he understood that he wasn't allowed the comfort of living isolated inside of his darkly lit bedroom for the rest of his life. All the time he spent inside Aincrad would be a waste of the life he was given, and the opportunity to do something with it.

He pushed aside the feelings of inadequacy and spoke with weight behind his words.

"And I've done enough sleeping to last a lifetime," he said. "I'm ready to put up a fight. So, a sword would be a good start. I've just made Level 25, and I use Curved Swords."

He released Mac's hand after the firm shake and opened his menu. "I've been working on getting back into the rhythm."
 

@Mari @Macradon

I'm down for that! I've always wanted to write with Ariel.

He got her message, just like all the others.

It was a pain, not because he wanted to avoid her, but because he never knew how to respond. He struggled with face to face conversation, but even more with not having those cues at all. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he finished the last few words. All it took was "okay" or "I'll be there," but for some reason, it weighed on him like a massive burden. She wanted to spend the holidays with him. From experience, he knew that meant she felt close to him, or wanted to be close to him. He never had that type of closeness with anyone in his family other than his grandmother, and even she had allotted him a healthy amount of distance because she understood that he wasn't quite like other people.

Mari had already crowded him to the point where he unintentionally stayed a bit further from her than normal. It was his fault and he knew it. He had held so tightly to that façade back then, before he fully grasped that he was the same in the game as he was in reality. It wasn't just an escape anymore. The swordsman exhaled loudly as he stepped through the teleporter and into Taft, where she waited just beyond the threshold. He owed it to her to be honest, and not to push her away. She was a friend.

His steps wore heavy on the cobbles as he approached, eyes cast on the ground. He had held her. He had said words he never fully grasped the meaning of, and he had promised her protection. How much of those things could he truly offer? How many of those promises could he make good on? Only time would tell, and only honesty would make any amends. The city restricted him like hands on his throat as he walked through, as if Aincrad were ridiculing him for his foolishness. The sky, tainted grey and white by the winter season, blasted him with brisk gusts of wind and powder. His hands trembled from the cold.

When he stepped out of the safe zone, the chill felt even colder down his spine.

"Mari," he greeted gently, his voice carried on frigid fingers to the woman. His gilded gaze moved to find her, and he managed a soft smile. "I'm here."

What else could he say? She deserved more than that. "Sorry I haven't been good at responding to your messages," he told her. "I've been reading them. I uh... I like your hair."

@Mari

So, I need to search for a creature, give it some food, and convince it to befriend me. Sounds pretty easy, I guess; but what's the catch? Does it try to kill me if I suck on my animal friendship roll?

Alkor stared out at the first floor that offered boars and Nepent, but precious little else. He didn't want to have an unsightly pig follow him around, and the idea of a Nepent as a pet just made him think about those Japanese shows with the tentacles.

Seriously, what the eff Japan.

There didn't seem to be much going for him in that way. He considered that he might head for another floor, but he was uncertain if the quest would be voided by the action. "I need..."

What do I need...?

Alkor signed and stared skyward, listening as the breeze wafted past. The cool air relaxed him just a bit, and he smiled at the distant caw of a lone crow.