THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN

[claim 0]

Seeing the other two fall that there was a light at the end of this nightmare event. But as soon as the monsters health bar hit zero they were brought back to life. What little light at the end of the tunnel was gone. They didn't have much time left before the players were going to drop like fly's. He knew that he was doing much damage at all but ever bit did help. He would look at Rain Minion 12 which seemed to be the tank of the three.  It had take so much damage and still hasn't hit the ground yet. He run up to him and would swing the blade at it sword at the beast the blade would just barley hit and 3 other cuts would show up just above the first one. He would run over to the next one Gob-Gob and swing his blade at it. And just like his first hit on Rain Minion 12 after the first cut showed followed by 3 more. He came up to the last one Swine Jesus but un like the other two when Claim swung his sword at it. The only thing that he hit was the ground just beside the beast. He made his way back to the players side. And wait to see what happens next turn.  

Claim 46/46 | EN: 22/32 | DMG: 7 | MIT: 27 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | BLD: 12 | ENVM DEF: 1 | VAMP DEF: 36 | THNS: 10 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant

Rain Minion 12 7+1 *4  32 

Gob-Gob 7+1 *4  32 

Swine Jesus miss 

 

153363	1 miss	6	10	9	Claim		Swine Jesus, Slayer of Axioses	2020-06-14 07:56:50
153362	4+2=6	5	9	5	Claim		Gob-Gob	2020-06-14 07:55:36
153361	9=2 -5 6	1	17	3	Claim		Rain Minion 12	2020-06-14 07:55:02

Edited June 16, 2020 by claim

[Zajcica 0]

Yuki backed off to her party again, all of them were okay. Night and Arabelle still seemed optimistic that the battle could be won, but after seeing Rain Minion's True Calrex ability at work, she was beginning to think that this entire battle was suicide. Nothing has scared her more in her entire Aincrad career than how dangerously low not only her own health points were getting, but everyone else around her. Desperate to make something happen out of this, Yuki unleashed her third attack, aimed at all the kings, but trying her best to ensure that Rain Minion felt her rage.

It's hp stayed red, unable to move from it's position no matter how much she attacked it. The grip on her lance tightened in anger, then loosened in distress. As she returned to Arabelle and Night, she couldn't help but comment about their situation.

"Y-You guys are counting on me to keep control of the battle, b-but I can't.." Her face dropped, even though she kept her shield ready to block anything. "I-I'm failing you both. I'm sorry!"

HP: 220/220 110/110 | EN: 60/82 | DMG: 7 | MIT: 99 | EVA: -1 | THNS: 36 | BH: 8 | REC: 4 | TAUNT | DoT Reitst: 25%+25% (1st proc)

Swine Jesus: Missed!
Rain Minion 12: 7*6 = 42DMG
Gob-Gob: 7*6 = 42DMG

[Macradon 0]

Chaos, absolute terrifying chaos. He looked around, left and right, up and down, back and forward, nothing was making sense to him, it was going way too fast. Within all the chaos he remembered Mari yelling something about a girl always throwing herself into deadly situations … he has heard those words before, it was like that @Kirbs girl, it was like she really wanted to die against that big snek thing. Oh well, looks like there are more of those idiots in here. He sighed, trying to calm himself down before the feeling of his vitality drop even more, this was bad, so, so bad. “This isn’t … going in any possible plan anyone could’ve figured … this is just too chaotic … they just keep halving our health, and it just drops and drops and drops …” he muttered for himself, trying to collect his mind again.

He shook his head back and forward, trying to get what was going on, but with the squeal of the swine thing … his head kept on thumping like a heavy migraine. He desperately looked over at @Mari “I think there are only two things we can do right now …” he said with panting heavily “First we have to pose, I don’t know why, but that just feels right.” he said and looked at his palms like he was going insane “Next you yeet me at the swine thing, I just need to get close to it, it’ll never see my next attack if I’m all that close to it, all the chaos around it will confuse everyone and I’ll somehow hit it … sounds solid?” he asked and just instinctively stroke a pose. Quickly glancing his head towards the rest of his now enlarged party, Macradon would nudge at the others "Pssshhh, @Crozeph, @Cordelia, you too.".

Standing there for a solid 10 seconds, he let go of the pose momentarily and let his arm out at Mari “Let’s do it like we did those dragons! Before they knew what hit them!” he said with a wide grin as he let Mari grab his arm “Now yeet me as if I were a javelin, Mari!” he roared out proudly as both his and Mari’s strength combined threw him through the air with an immense force, shooting him through the air while nose diving towards the swine, only to land and crash a meter in front of it, collapse, and roll a few meters past the swine from the momentum gathered. He kept put there, just to get out of the dizziness he had somehow gotten himself into. Raising a thumb he yelled out “I’m alright!” but still kept on laying there.

ID: 153367
CD: 5 -> No Proc

@NIGHT: HP: 300/300 150/150 | EN: 76/102 | DMG: 25 | MIT: 81 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 4 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 72 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 24 | PRLZ: 1 | LD: 6 | Stealth Detection: 3
@Pinball: HP: 320/320 160/160 | EN: 123/128 | DMG: 15 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 36 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 27 | BH: 64
@Mari: HP: 392/392 196/196 | EN: 108/140 | DMG: 23 | MIT: 88 | ACC: 6 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 24 | BLD: 48 | THNS: 45 | BH: 72 | Burn DoT: -50%
@Oscar: HP: 342/342 171/171 | EN: 106/120 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | FLN: 12 | BRN: 36 (8-10) | VAMP DEF: 68 | REC: 6 | BH: 68 | PRLZ IMMUNITY
Macradon: HP: 497/497 249/249 | EN: 173/189 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 107 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 1 | PSN: 24 | REC: 6 | FRT: 36(21) | FRZ: 6 | VAMP OFF: 189 | BH: 99 | SAFEGUARD
@Bahr: HP: 313/313 157/157 | EN: 111/122 | DMG: 11 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | HM: 6 | LM: 1 | BH: 62 | DoT Resist: 25%+5% (1st proc)
@Lessa: HP: 262/262 131/131 | EN: 87/100 | DMG: 22 | MIT: 116 | ACC: 3 | THNS: 54 | HM: 3 | DoT Resist: 20% (1st proc)
@Ariel - The Crowned Lion: HP: 373/373 187/187 | EN: 135/146 | DMG: 24 | MIT: 64 | ACC: 7 | EVA: 1 | KEEN: 1 | FLN: 4 | REC: 1 | BH: 44 | HB: 48 | LD: 5
@Cordelia: HP: 285/285 143/143 | EN: 100/112 | DMG: 19 | MIT: 25 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | PARA VNM [DF]: 1 | HLY: 12 | ABS. ACC | PHASE

[Shay 0]

Again the bosses fell only to be revived by their lizard-like friend. The stupid fish was un-killable now. Just great. What was she supposed to do at this point? Her damage was mostly unhelpdul, or was completely negated by the nigh-invincible set of bosses. There really is no full proof if Kayaba had sincerely sent these bosses to do nothing but murder the bulk of the player base that cared about leaving the game.

A red hued hum took over Shay's one more time, but eventually just disappeared. There was nothing she could, so why waste her energy even trying? With her health dropping close to basically level one hp, Shay sighed and sheathed her weapon. She could just stand here and wait for the bosses to do whatever they were going to do. If this was meant to be their end, they would have opened with just murdering everyone, unless they wanted to torture the players by nearly killing them and leaving them to continue their suffering.

Shay: HP: 50/50 25/25 | EN: 17/20 | DMG: 10 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 5 | BLD: 12 (8-10) | THNS: 10 | REC: 2 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant

ID#153368 invalid. No Purpose Stated. No Action Made.

[Shye 0]

Shye nervously tried to make sense of the situation. Her tank was starting to lose her faith in protecting the group and no one could finish these bosses off permanently. What was she supposed to do? Is there a rhyme or reason for anything that is happening in this battle?

Her breathing only got more out of hand. Even if she wouldn't choke from a nervous breakdown, the anxiety was still a big problem for her in this world. If only Shield were here, he would know how to organize people to do something and it would get done. She had relied on his protection up to this point and was really beginning to think that without it she wouldn't be able to survive in this death game.

With her inability to speak or really just focus on anything but her own thoughts, the red-head stood their trying to correct her breathing appropriately. She wouldn't be able to do anything even if she could while she was having an anxiety attack.

Shye: HP: 50/50 25/25 | EN: 20/20 | DMG: 2 | EVA: 5 | THNS: 10 | REC: 1 | LD: 1 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant

No action made... Someone get this girl an inhaler or something.

[Megitsune 0]

Anger was a pretty light term to describe the white fox right now. She could destroy just about anything in her path, except for a stupid fish in a crown holding a gun. What kind of bulls*** is this event?

A strained expression took her face features as she attempted to activate her Ordinal Cleave for another attack. The white-hot color of her black scythe refused to stay lit, however. Looking at her energy reserves, she could see why. Unable to use her strongest attacks at this point, the Fox tries to activate a lower ranked sword art, and even that fails. She had to go back to using an awful art that was pretty much useless to her at this point. It still worked to do damage at least.

The white blade finally came to full glow, it's long head rammed directly into Rain Minion's stomach. She didn't know what else to do other than attempt to kill the Minion so it stops resurrecting the other bosses.

Megitsune: HP: 80/80 40/40 | EN: 6/32 | DMG: 15 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | THNS: 10 | REC: 2 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant

Rain Minion 12: 15*6 = 90DMG

[Assassin 0]

The Assassin was beginning to see the ruse as Rain Minion refused to fall whatsoever. They were bluffing, or else he tiny HP gauge wouldn't exist anymore. That doesn't mean she would just stand around and let meanies beat her up. Taking her dagger in an underhanded grip, she attempts to rake the Swine's side with a Shadow Stitch attack, yet some how misses the evasive pig.

When she went around to find another angle to attack the beast from, she was suddenly lifted up. The tiny boar familiar, Swine Bajesus, had attempted to make an attack against the tiny girl to finish her off. With her cloak completely hiding most of her body, the boar did nothing but pick her up for a joy ride. Grabbing on to it's back with her best grip, she does her best not to fall off.

"Wha- Whoa! Hey, you wanna go for a ride? Let's go! Whoooooo!" Although she couldn't tame the beast to follow her direction, the tiny rogue still enjoyed the highspeed ride on the back of the beast. It ran around its parent and through the crowd trying to murder the kings. Assassin was only having fun at this point. Was there really anything could do anyway? Might as well die having fun, if they died.

Assassin: HP: 60/60 30/30 | EN: 18/24 | DMG: 9 | MIT: 18 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 4 | BLEED: 12 (8-10) | PLZ: 1 | THNS: 10 | Antidote 3/3 | Antioxidants

Shadow Stitch Misses vs Swine Jesus

Swine Bajesus takes Assassin for a joy ride.

[Pinball 1]

Was this... real? 

Not even moments after he'd entered stealth, Pinball was suddenly questioning his own sanity. The darkness faded around him, leaving Pinball revealed in a swarm of players that - honestly - couldn't care less about him. And who would? The three monsters, with their chiseled forms and godly auras, drew a lot more attention to themselves than the lanky, dark-haired Player Killer. Er, for better or worse. One look was all it took to decide that Pinball had been right in his assessment - this had to be some kind of cruel joke. 

Even ignoring the fact that it felt like they weren't making a dent in the creatures' defenses, what was up with this damage system-? Were they even taking damage? Pinball wasn't sure. Their maximum health was dropped by half, before immediately becoming the new maximum. What was the point of that? What happened when they hit 1 HP? Were the three mobs going to unleash a giant AoE and wipe all of them out in one gnarly blow? The thought made him sweat. But even more than that, he was dumbstruck. 

And everyone was taking the fight a lot more seriously than he was. Maybe it was time for him to stop being skeptical and help out. There was always the chance everyone would kick the bucket if they didn't wprk together. First things first, though; he had to wade through the sea of players to even get to the front. 

                                                                                                                                                                          

Action: [None] [+1 EN] 

@NIGHT: HP: 300/300 150/150 | EN: 76/102 | DMG: 25 | MIT: 81 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 4 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 72 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 24 | PRLZ: 1 | LD: 6 | Stealth Detection: 3
Pinball: HP: 320/320 160/160 | EN: 124/128 | DMG: 15 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 36 | BLIGHT: 36 | BLD: 36 | TXC VNM: 27 | BH: 64
@Mari: HP: 392/392 196/196 | EN: 108/140 | DMG: 23 | MIT: 88 | ACC: 6 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 24 | BLD: 48 | THNS: 45 | BH: 72 | Burn DoT: -50%
@Oscar: HP: 342/342 171/171 | EN: 106/120 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | FLN: 12 | BRN: 36 (8-10) | VAMP DEF: 68 | REC: 6 | BH: 68 | PRLZ IMMUNITY
Macradon: HP: 497/497 249/249 | EN: 173/189 | DMG: 26 | MIT: 107 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 1 | PSN: 24 | REC: 6 | FRT: 36(21) | FRZ: 6 | VAMP OFF: 189 | BH: 99 | SAFEGUARD
@Bahr: HP: 313/313 157/157 | EN: 111/122 | DMG: 11 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 2 | HM: 6 | LM: 1 | BH: 62 | DoT Resist: 25%+5% (1st proc)
@Lessa: HP: 262/262 131/131 | EN: 87/100 | DMG: 22 | MIT: 116 | ACC: 3 | THNS: 54 | HM: 3 | DoT Resist: 20% (1st proc)
@Ariel - The Crowned Lion: HP: 373/373 187/187 | EN: 135/146 | DMG: 24 | MIT: 64 | ACC: 7 | EVA: 1 | KEEN: 1 | FLN: 4 | REC: 1 | BH: 44 | HB: 48 | LD: 5
@Cordelia: HP: 285/285 143/143 | EN: 100/112 | DMG: 19 | MIT: 25 | ACC: 5 | EVA: 3 | PARA VNM [DF]: 1 | HLY: 12 | ABS. ACC | PHASE

[Freyd 0]

“We’re trapped in a battle of absurdity,” Freyd concluded.  None of this made any sense to him whatsoever.  Who battles memes?!  His eyes suddenly went wide.

“Hey!  ORANGE!” he yelled, calling out to Mari.  “I have an idea.  Keep the heavy hitters pounding away at their health.”

The bosses were memes, albeit ones he didn’t really understand.  What if that was their source of power?  How do you defeat a meme?  With newer, better [re: worse] memes!  And these three were pretty weak sauce, at best.  It had already been confirmed that their bling could be destroyed with relative ease.  He needed to do that again.  What did he care if he took a coolness penalty?  Nobody even knew who he was, and his weapon was perfectly named for the task.  Being brought low by a total nobody might even help.  If he could cut down their pop culture cred, maybe the rest of the gathered heroes could take down their forms – permanently.

With only one AoE sword art at his disposal, and a weak one at that, Freyd had to time and sequence this perfectly.  He wasn’t going to have the energy for another try.  Launching himself past the first two bosses he called upon each on his way towards his true destination.

“Rise up, Swine Bajesus, and be the boss instead of the minion!”

Spoiler

“Yo!  Green dude!  Did you notice that the Town of Beginnings is in the SOUTH end of the zone?”

Spoiler

Then, in an act of desperate idiocy, Freyd swung Forgiven Disobedience in a wide arc, simultaneously blasting Rain Minion 12’s crown, sunglasses, blunt, AND gun, hoping to bring this madness to an end.  

"Not cool?  So what.  Eat it, [-]uckers…"

Spoiler

HP: 123/123 31/31 | EN: 4/18 (-9 +1) | DMG: 8 | MIT: 29 | ACC: 2 | SAV: 1 | REC: 1 | KEEN: 1 | HOLYDMG 1 | BLEED 1 | IMM 1 

[Rolling, but all four items are hit on a miss anyway.]

ID 153373 - BD vs. Rain Minion 12’s Crown: 9+2 = hit.  DMG: 9*2 = 18
ID 153374 - BD vs. Rain Minion 12’s Sunglasses: 6+2 = hit.  DMG: 8*2
ID 153375 - BD vs. Rain Minion 12’s Blunt: 2+2 = miss, but apparently can’t
ID 153376 - BD vs. Rain Minion 12’s Gun: 2+2 = miss, but apparently can’t

Edited June 15, 2020 by Freyd - The Whisper in Shadows

[Elora 0]

Elora watched as, what she could only assume was Jackpot's sister, lunged into the fray. Considering how similar they looked in appearance, they sure had widely contrasting personalities. She glanced back at Jackpot again -- still shaking where he stood. GAH! This isn't going at all how I imagined! Elora shook her head and lifted up a hand to run her fingers back through her hair as she mulled over her thoughts. Jesus, I was just supposed to land the hit. So many other people are doing it without a problem. Her critical observation was interrupted by the sight of Lilik effortlessly piercing the opponent through his abdomen. Elora's chest constricted suddenly in response, as if the attack had equally dealt as much damage to her self-esteem. Moments passed as her countenance gradually stiffened. With eyebrows furrowed and her jaw set, it would be apparent to most studying her that she was experiencing a change of opinion. Well, if she can damage him so easily, then it's no great accomplishment. I can do it just as well if I give it another shot. 

Elora's contempt consumed her, commanding her body forward before she could give the action any cognitive consideration. Holding no restraint, she viciously gouged Rain Minion 12's chest with the length of her spearhead. An exhilarated grin flashed across her face and her eyes sparked with satisfaction at delivering the damage. She tilted her head to look at Lilik with an arrogant, and almost sadistic expression that seemed to say HA! Did you see that? Instead, the edges of her mouth twitched as it - not so smoothly - subsided into a beaming smile. 

ID# 153377 BD: 9 = Hit with Heft

Damage: 8+1=9 x 2 = 18

 

Elora: HP: 13/13 7/7 | EN: 1/2 | DMG: 8 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 2 | Antidote 3/3 

Edited June 15, 2020 by Elora

[Dazia 0]

Despite the constant attacks landing against her target, the boss was not slain. Remaining at the slightest tick of color, an everlasting Health Point. This was a bug, or a trap. Either way, there wasn't much else to do. There was no further fleeing, nor did she have the option to teleport. The only thing she could do was fight... "Damnit..." She muttered. "This can't be how it ends..." 

Well then, since there was no running, and a trio of enemies who were far more than simply irritating were chipping away at the players' HP, there was but one thing to do. She had held it all in for so long, she'd even habitually held it all in during fights against simple monsters. It was time to stop playing nice. She would fight to the end....she would surely unleash her fury. Her inner wrath, which she had been keeping deep down inside her for so long... Finally, there was a chance to release it at last.

She took a deep breath, then another. She couldn't take it anymore, even if she wanted to. "I refuse to give in..." She stated, her tone having nothing but seething hatred.  "I'll stop at nothing to see you bleed...."

With that, she was ready to continue fighting, but then, she heard them... Voices. Chanting. What was this? She would look, and witness the arrival of the cult. They were...players. How dare they? To not only abandon the other players, but turn cloak and side with the likes of this humanoid fish? 

They now stood in her way.

She ran towards her target, and when she was approaching the cultists, she wouldn't keep silent about the matter. "You damned traitorous cultists, Out of my way!" She called out. Her cowl may have still been over her head, but if anyone was to get a glimpse of her eyes, they would see nothing but burning fury within them, should they decide to pay enough attention to detail.

When nothing changed, she simply shoved past them, and continued her assault, mercilessly striking at the boss who the fools dared to worship as a god.

Dazia has unleashed her fury!

 

ID# 153381 BD: 8+4=12(Hit)

Penetrate: 10x8=80 Damage to Rain Minion 12(as futile as it is, she tries nevertheless)

Dazia(Enraged): HP: 108/108 54/54, EN 18/40, | 10 DMG | 24 MIT | 4 ACC | 4 EVA | 10 Thorns | Antioxidants

Edited June 15, 2020 by Dazia

[Mari 1]

Others continued their onslaught, everyone attacking everything - no real plan nor coordination. Mari even saw someone trip another player, her anger flared at seeing @Dazia trip another payer, wasn't that the same girl who caused all that trouble at the ball. "Tch." Mari muttered to herself. "Selfish ass brat." People like that annoyed Mari. Selfish and immature people who cared about nothing but themselves. If they weren't in the middle of a fight, Mari'd have gone over there and given the girl a solid talking to - but - Mari knew better than that. Since yanno, she had more than half a brain. (And that said something because Mari was not exactly smart)

Instead of stewing Mari turned her attention away, back to @Freyd - The Whisper in Shadows who seemed to be taking her commands - despite him not knowing her. As he fell back in line with her Mari offered him a small smile. "We should talk...after...er..." Her eyes shifted across the battlefield. She flinched when she thought she saw two people being trampled. That looked...terrible.   "All...of this. Is over and done wtih."

@Crozephdidn't seem too happy about them being nigh invincible to every conceivable damage debuff. "Hey..." Mari placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're never useless. You're here. You are a part of our guild. There are no useless people. Go, attack. And when we need that health, you'll be there to heal us." Mari said with a smile as she patted his back - Crozeph fought valiantly, even going as far as to drag Shiina back to the players. GOod. And he thought he was useless? Mari clicked her toungue in disapproval. Crozeph was looking out for others, he was keeping an eye on them. That meant more than anything, especially when you had people like that other girl- just blatantly tripping others over.

@Bistro addressed Mari, telling her that she'd be out of her hair. Mari shook her head and gave the bi-coloured woman a lop-sided grin. "You're fine. You're honestly helping, that's all anyone can ask for. Just don't go tripping other players...or maybe shoving them into the ground and you're fine in my books."

Mari was distracted by a flurry of gold - @Snow pushed aside everything and gave an all out offensive toward the three muscular memes. Mari felt a swell of pride well within her. "SNOW!" Mari called out to her. "I"m proud of you!" Mari  felt like Snow needed to hear those words. "Kick them in their PECTORALS!"

AND THEN THEY FLEXED AND IT ALL STARTED AGAIN....

The two beasts - the Boar and the ...goblin guy - again were obliterated. And were recovered by the Rain Minion guy. "Hmmm...." Mari paused. Normally, she'd go for an outright attack again, but something didn't seem...right.  "You know...." Mari thought aloud. "They're not...attacking - maybe they're just defending themselves. I mean - it's..." Mari thought back to the smoke, the lights - the sounds.

It's like a performance.

"Maybe...we don't need to attack...maybe...we need to perform."  

It was then that @Macradon told her she should pose. Mari covered her mouth as she gave a loud snort, followed by a laugh. "Geez..." She shook her head. "You know, I was thinking the same thing...I'll uhh.. ok I'll flex at the Rain Minion -" She turned over at the others who were in their area; Freyd, Cordelia - Snow, and Crozeph. "Hey - we should all pose, like some sort of Sentai rangers, right? This isn't a normal battle so we need to start trying things that we never normally would. Now.." Mari held out her spear. She needed height for this.

Mari darted forward toward the Rain Minion, and wtih a mighty battle cry she dug her spear pointy end into the ground and with a few fancy acrobatics, she managed to wind herself up to the top of the spear.  It was a sure fire way for the King to see her - above the players nad the cultists. Then, she drew a deep breath. Feeling utterly stupid and ridiculous - but hey, she had done stupider things. This was Mari.

She had swum in the Stygian River
Drunk from the Stygian River...
T-posed her way down a questionable void

Testing the game, and its limits - what it could and couldn't do? That was in Mari's repitore. If she didn't test this and rule it out, she'd be kicking herself later.

So, Mari drew a deep breath and FLEXED, twisting her body into a pose to mimic that of the mighty meme beasts before her. Face red with embarrassment, chest heaving from the constant debuffs.



ID: 153384
BD: 9 CRITICAL FLEX!

Passive: +1 EN
@Mari: HP: 392/392 196/196 | EN: 109/140 | DMG: 23 | MIT: 88 | ACC: 6 | EVA: 3 | BRN: 24 | BLD: 48 | THNS: 45 | BH: 72 | Burn DoT: -50%

 

Edited June 15, 2020 by Mari

[Griswold 0]

A call to action from those in play, a hail he could answer. Looking on to a plated male topped with white hair, a short girl with locks like fire. He knew what he would have to do. Removing the top torso of his cobalt steel plating reveals a layered stack of man meat. Like a jacked tortoise with its shell removed, the hulking frame in tanned skin. Forged in the fires of floor 9, pounded to perfection from day long hammer blows upon a hardened anvil was what was concealed. "Sam, grab me some oil, butter anything. If its a show you want!" Griswold strikes a pose as the white shirt underneath bursts at the seams. Six foot nine, 226 pounds of pure muscle is exposed to the air. He twists and contorts until all that is still left settled begins to expose veins and push out toward the skin. He then begins to advance, each step a different pose to push forth a different set of his body.

Griswold FLEX like a man on a mission!

ID# 153433 results: Battle: 7 Flex!, +1 EN

Griswold: 58/58 | EN: 25/30 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 39 | ACC: 2 | THNS: 28 | Antidote: 3/3 | Antioxidant

 

 

Edited June 15, 2020 by Griswold

[Sam 0]

Seeing Griswold get closer to Rain, he calls out to her to grab oils or butter or whatever she could find. His upper body bursts into a magnificent flex as Sam says "Oh uu okay were are really doing this..." as she runs to the table with all the foods on it saying "Excuse me...sorry.. coming through" as she bumps into a few people on the way. Looking at the table of foods and deserts saying frantically "There has to be something here to...this will work." Sam finds a small open vial of what looks like oil and a stick of butter next to a plate of toast. Running past the people once more saying "Excuse me... sorry... coming through" she gets to Griswold as he changed his poses every few seconds. She was focused on the task at hand...oiling Griswold's chest down for a shine effect and a show that she hoped would be a great one. This was an easy task because she had no interest in men. Sam dumps some of the oil onto her hand and begins the rub but quickly for she didn't want a hand or arm to the face while doing this. Once the oil was done she uses the half stick of butter on the rest of him. Standing back now that her hands were slimy and greasy she cheers Griswold on raising her hands in the air jumping saying excitingly as she looks at the masterpiece she created "YEA YOU GO, BIG GUY. YOU LOOK GREAT." Sam could give a dam less about how people looked at her so her reaction to all this was legit. His skin now was shining against the sun above them, Sam was soo proud.

Edited June 15, 2020 by Sam

[Krysta 0]

Krysta got up only to hear a familiar voice...and it wasn't a friend's... it was a fiend's. "Dazia... I should have anticipated this... Mark my words, I will vanquish you one day, and your evil shall cease!" She would call out to the one who sabotaged her attack.

@Dazia

Despite everyone's efforts, the Rain Minion would not fall. To make matters worse, a group of cultists would arrive. "There has to be some way to defeat them..." She thought aloud. "If not through combat...then what? Surely not following what the misguided ones have resorted to!" She would look around and see that some players still kept going, despite the sudden revelation that the bosses could not fall...through ordinary means. Confused, she simply stood there, taking a moment to breathe, and contemplate on what the next best course of action should be. It was likely something unexpected, so she would have to think outside the box.

[Krysta takes no action]

Krysta: HP: 154/154 77/77 | EN: 39/54 | DMG: 15 | MIT: 54 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 2 | THNS: 36 | PRLZ: 1 | BLD: 24 | THNS: 20 | REC: 2 | Antioxidant

[Vigilon 0]

Welp, so much for the brilliant plan working, it went just as well as everything else did, which was not well at all. Fan-freaking-tastic. When the cultists showed up, he had some initial thoughts, but he kept it down, for now was not the time for crap like that.

(OOC: Vigilon's initial thoughts on the cultists' arrival in Spoiler)

Spoiler

 

Clearly, there had to be some other options... "Ok, so we can't actually slay them...so then, what do we do now? We still gotta beat them in order to get out of this new mess we're in..." He thought aloud. Maybe something...outside the box? He looked around, and saw that while many players were still attacking...some were... posing? Why would... "Hang on...that's it! We might not be able to kill them, but maybe we can outdo them or defeat them in some other form of challenge?" The reason he'd gotten the idea, rather than been weirded out, was all thanks to his gameplay of Undertale. Perhaps his knowledge of the game would come to some use here...maybe not all of it, but at least some. His first option? Follow the others' lead.

To say that it went smoothly would be a lie. He flexed, but he hadn't done so in so long that any who looked upon him would simply find him wanting. "I knew I shouldn't have had that extra donut this morning..." He thought, embarrassed.

 

ID# 153437 BD: 5(Not so great), CD: 8(recovered an additional 3 EN)

Vigilon: HP: 189/189 95/95 | EN: 67/78 | DMG: 18 | MIT: 18 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 3 | PRLZ: 1 | BLD: 24 | THNS: 20 | REC: 3 | TAUNT | Antioxidant

Edited June 15, 2020 by Vigilon

[Astralin 0]

Astralin didn't know if things would get better or worse, but when all the attacks couldn't deplete past the last tick of the seated boss's HP, this could only be...either a trap or a bug. Everyone was having their various reactions to this new problem. The cultists would arrive, making things worse. But then...when she saw some of the players begin to flex...it suddenly clicked in her head. This wasn't an average battle...maybe the only way to deplete that last tick of health was to outdo, outperform, or simply just... well, whatever kind of ridiculous showing off would work against them! Clearly, flexing was out of the question for Astralin. Her physical build wasn't nearly suited enough for that sort of thing, so what would she do instead...? Suddenly, her eyes lit up, an idea in her head. She couldn't flex, but...she could dance.

She looked around the battlefield, trying to see if she might be able to have her voice heard in the chaos. "Maybe we could try having a dance off against them!" She called out in suggestion. Hopefully some players would hear her suggestion...and possibly have a song crystal on hand, assuming they were on board with the idea.

[Astralin takes no action]

ID# 153439 CD: 5(Recovery doesn't activate)

Astralin: HP: 28/28 14/14 | EN: 3/8 | DMG: 8 | ACC: 2 | EVA: 4 | THNS: 10 | REC: 1 | Antioxidant

Edited June 15, 2020 by Astralin

[Snow 0]

Spoiler

Beginning Turn Stats:  
HP: 108/108 54/54 | EN: 21/38 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 45 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 2 | BLD: 12 (8-10) | THNS: 19 | RGN: 10 | Antioxidant

• [+1 EN]
• <<First Aid Rank 2>> used on <<Rain Minion 12>>
• [- ??? EN]

Conclusion:

• Speaks no evil to Rain Minion 12:
  Apologizes, <<First Aid Rank 2>> used on <<Rain Minion 12>>, then sits down.
• Sees no evil from Gob-Gob:
  Closes her eyes.
• Hears no evil from Swine Jesus:
  Plugs her ears.
• -??? EN from Snow
• <<Concentration>> on Cooldown (2/3)

@Snow: HP: 108/108 54/54 | EN: ???/38 | DMG: 8 | MIT: 45 | ACC: 3 | EVA: 2 | BLD: 12 (8-10) | THNS: 19 | RGN: 10 | Antioxidant

Sunglasses, joint, crown, and gun dashed to pixelated glitter in the wind. Yet with a single breath, the accessories re-materialized. An odd penalty procced beside Snow's name, one she'd not seen before.

-30 Coolness? 

What a wound. Having a keen eye for attire and aesthetics was something of a character value of hers. To be branded uncool by a merman that failed to hold a candle to all preconceived ideas of the fantasy creature was more than an insult. The blonde felt the tiny hairs at the back of her neck prickle.

Gob-gob and Swine Jesus burst into fractals only to be reassembled as it were commonplace. A stampede of green robed cultists paraded around the cluster-uwu- that unraveled around her. Then, as to add insult to injury, players started flexing back at the monstrosities. Had they gone mad? Had desperation gripped them?

Snow's cerulean gaze drifted to the corner of her vision where her health bar hung, nearly dominated by a large chunk of unrecoverable red. Her little heart, already throttled from her first boss encounter, quickened. To think an encounter could go this astray...

Is this what the front lines deals with?!

She caught a glimpse of @Mari after hearing her shout praise during Snow's attack. The sight that unfolded may as well shattered the young blonde's psyche. Pker, fighter on the front lines, guild pillar, and friend stood atop her spear in the most awkward and confusing pose. Was she... flexing? The grip on Snow's spear grew slack. One man stood among the crowd with his shirt off as a female player rubbed him down in butter. 

"What the f-uwu- is this?!" she let audibly slip from her thoughts.

I can't believe any of this. None of them can die. It has nothing to do with the items... People are FLEXING?!?! Am I going to die with this as my final memory?! Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

Snow felt sick. All the meanwhile, she could feel the fish demon's gaze on her. Unassuming, disinterested, and likely stoned, it sat leisurely atop its golden throne. It snapped its fingers to some unsung song, each beat blasted its fellow demons to dust and back again. Through shades hiding blood stained reptilian eyes, it looked down on her. Was it amused? Did it care? Was there anything to this song and dance aside from twisted cruelty of a bored creator? 

Kayaba... The name came to her thoughts amidst the panic. Somehow, some way, something this absurd would have his influence in it. By no means would an AI generate something like this without input from a deranged mind. What was his ploy? What did he hope to gain? If he wanted them all dead, there were surely more efficient and effective means. This wasn't even suffering. It was chaotic.

Snow looked to her health bar again.

They're halving the HP and sealing it. They can't be killed. No one has died, yet... The gears worked methodically, calming the girl's mind and slowing her rapid heartbeat.

A test? Test of will? Test of courage? Bravery? INSANITY?!

Snow let the sounds of madness drown out. The thrum for sward arts faded, the chanting of zealots dulled, shouted commands silenced.

What is the point? There has to be a point? Or is the point not to have a point? To show us that getting out is pointless? Or to test our desire to get out? Surely this isn't how we actually get out... A morale booster? Sick as it is? Something to laugh about later and drink over?

"Plan to defeat us..." she mumbled.

There is a way to win... There is a point. Something... Something... The time spanned for her frantic thoughts lapsed only a few seconds. Seconds that, in a real conflict, could mean the difference between sleeping in a warm bed or beneath cold, dark soil. 

"Wait..." Snow's senses rushed back to her. Combat, chanting, madness, it all came back.

When we see Gob-Gob flex, we lose HP. When we hear Swine Jesus... uh... sing? It seals our HP. And if we attack, Rain Minion 12 brings them back. 

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil? Is that the mechanic?" Snow looked up to the fish god upon its throne. 

At least that made more sense than flexing? Not that me flexing would be anything to write home about...

Snow took a deep breath. She dug the tip of her spear into the ground at the foot of Rain Minion's throne. She walked up the steps, unarmed. At his feet, the girl placed her hand on just above its knee, taking into consideration his "No Touchie" rule. A faint glow of white enveloped her hand. Snow's First Aid skill sapped away her EN quickly and increased the monster's health.

"I'm sorry," she apologized to Rain Minion 12.

Speak no evil? God I hope this works. People are going to be so angry with me if it doesn't...

After the glow faded, she descended the steps and stood beside her spear, facing the throned monster. The blonde lowered herself to the ground and took a seat with her legs crossed in front of her. The lump that formed in her throat she tried to swallow down with little success. Eyes on Rain Minion 12, Snow jammed her fingers into her ears.

Hear no evil? This is dumb. Sooo dumb...

And then, the light of the world darkened behind closed eyes. 

See no evil?

Snow took a deep breath and held it. 

God I don't want to die. Please let this do something...

Edited June 15, 2020 by Snow

[Calrex 0]

Spoiler

HP: 1805 | EN: 176 | DMG: 16 | MIT: 116 | ACC: 4 |  EVA: 3 | ACH: 0.5 (See Achilles in Skills/Mods for details)

Equipped Gear:

Grand Legionbane: +9 Damage

Grand Chariot III: +81 Mitigation

Rebellion of Sapphire: +3 Evasion

Battle Ready:

x1 Grand Guard III: +28 Thorns & +3 Heavy Momentum

x1 Grand Gauntlets III: +9 Unarmed Damage

x1 Grand Skypiercer II: +1 Taunt & +2 Paralyze

x1 Basic Teleportation Crystal: Upon use, teleport to the nearest town next turn

x5 Safeguard Potion: First Attack Negated

Skills & Mods:

Two-Handed Battle Axe [Rank 5]

One-Handed Assault Spear [Rank 5]

Heavy Armor [Rank 5]: Athletics Mod

Charge [Rank 5]: Bull Rush Mod

Battle Healing [Rank 5]: Emergency Recovery Mod

Block [Rank 5]: Rampart Mod

Howl

Parry: Vengeful Riposte Mod

Extended Mod Limit [Rank 3]

Familiar Master: Accurate [Rank 3]

Martial Arts [Rank 5]: Precision Mod

Quick Change

Survival

Disguise

Meditation

Fishing

Achilles [Rank 5]:
- 50% Damage Reduction (All Incoming Damage after MIT and Rampart/Parry reduction multiplied by 0.5 (Ex. [150 DMG - 50 MIT] /2 ACH = 50)
- Counter and DoT damage is exempt and doubled (Stonewall reduces DoT effects by 25% rounded down)
- Status effects that removes player action last twice as long

Spoiler

Action: Dynamic Entry Pose

"Just...what...in...the...world...is going on?"

------

Prior to the start of the battle

By happenstance, the bluenette was down on the first floor, relaxing in the Starlight Cafe, when all of a sudden he saw a swarm of players make their way towards the outskirts of the first settlement. Glancing down at his messages, he had received the same message that was sent to the rest, feeling a bead of sweat form on the side of his head, "There's no way this is a real thing. Why would Cardinal decide to give us a quick way out compared to that was originally designed into the core of the game?"

"I guess it's possible? Maybe the government has somehow managed to force the devs to do some kind of forced patch. I thought the Cardinal system was supposed to be the one handling any updates. After all that's what's caused so many changes like the discovery of Sword Arts and the nerfs to the unique skills..."

With a small sigh he set down his mocha, a hint of steam escaping his lips, "Maybe I'll go take a look after I finish this drink..."

------

Present

He could feel his eyelid twitch at the display that was unraveling before his eyes as the bluenette stood at the edge of the safezone. "Uh...uh...just..."

Tons of players both familiar and new were striking against three...bosses, "Parodies of bosses might be the more accurate description..."

Turning around for a moment, Calrex inspected to see if anyone was watching him, or watching what was happening, "Is this April 1st? Is someone trying to -XD- with me right now?"

Giving a small exhale to center himself he looked forward again, his calm demeanor almost instantly being dispelled at the sight. Putting a hand behind his head he closed his eyes, scratching with increasing intensity, his hair becoming more and more unkempt before he took a step forward, "-XD- it!"

His casual clothing was replaced by his dark blue armor, the Grand Chariot III as he charged into the fray, his eyes darting left and right to try and get a grasp on the situation. Some were attacking, and some...in fact fellow members of Jacob's Ladder...were...posing.

"Geezes...just don't think about it...the others are apparently doing something unconventional, I'll just follow along for now and see what happens next..."

Crouching low the Ultramarine Knight leapt skywards, looking downwards to spot his landing. His trajectory was a bit off, seemingly setting him a foot in front of a red-cloaked swordsman closer to the front (@Bahr). Hovering for a moment he gave a calming breath, leaning his body back as it turned into a backflip, helping to stop his forward momentum and letting him drop straight down where he intended to land.

The ground beneath him cracked as his greaves slammed into the earth, touching down in a three point stance, his right fist slammed into the ground in front of him as he looked forward. Glancing back he recognized the blonde behind the white haired man as Lessa, giving a nod, "Pardon the intrusion."

Quickly straightening his stance the bluenette brought his right gauntlet-clad arm across his body, triggering his weapon change as it burst into lights. Drawing across his body a series of arcing lights illuminated the travel path. At the same time, his blue peregrine falcon, Roc, appeared and mirrored the route with his flight path. His arm fully extended outwards the light converged and formed into the Grand Legionbane, his massive two-handed sword-like battle axe.

"Whether or not this is true, it's worth giving it a try."

[Oscar 0]

Spoiler

HP: 171/171 | EN: 88/120 | DMG: 17 | MIT: 106 | ACC: 4 | EVA: 2 | FLN: 12 | BRN: 36 (8-10) | VAMP DEF: 68 | REC: 6 | BH: 68 | PRLZ IMMUNITY

Explode Catapult vs Terror Demon ID: 153488 BD8+4 Deal 2394i2jklds DMG
Explode Catapult vs Angry Tentacle ID: 153489 BD4+4 Deal 3290iujsflj DMG
Explode Catapult vs Malicious Nightmare ID: 153490 BD5+4 Deal 9243i09ujfsodjkl DMG
Explode Catapult vs Jim ID: 153491 BD3+4 Deal 3249420ijk DMG

Terror Demon 5khrfj5o006/??? HP | 238fsoiueu549 DMG MD2-2 Miss
Angry Tentacle 3929ifskldi/??? HP | 32jsfl2u09uerfj DMG MD3-2 Miss
Malicious Nightmare 2930jfkdlsi09/??? HP | 923920kjfnna DMG MD1-2 Miss
Jim 32902jfls010/??? HP | 12-490ikasl DMG MD4-2 Miss

Mgep throd c'orr'enah...

"What." The tear in the fabric reality - the glitch in the Matrix - had begun to speak. As the seconds ticked by, the maw of anti-reality grew ever wider. It grew and grew until it towered over the masses facing the kings like a dark tower. On the other side, a twisting, writhing mass of flesh could be seen. A blood-red moon hung in the air, bathing the creatures in a sanguine glow. Four silhouettes rippled into existence, each stepping foot in the mortal plane one by one. A giant lanky creature adorned with spikes that looked as sharp as its fangs and talons was the first to enter our realm. Yellow eyes scanned the crowd until they fell upon the Kings. A massive roar rippled up from its throat as it acknowledged its rivals. From behind it, a long appendage slithered out from the rift. On the end of the tentacle was a single purple eye. This eye bored into the very souls of each of the people in the crowd. It, too, acknowledge the Kings as the only lifeforms of any import.

As terrifying as those two entities had been, they were as nothing compared to the third. A dark cloud seeped out from within the portal. Looking upon the creature invoked such nightmarish visions that you would be lucky to break your gaze before being driven insane. This creature had a true form, but it could not be comprehended by mortal senses. Inhuman screams heralded its arrival, screams of anguish and terror. The dying gasps of the sanity of multitudes. The final creature that stepped out of the rift was more horrifying than the rest. A middle-aged man in a white button-up shirt and khakis. His eyes shone with the infinite frustration of retail hell. It was through that selfsame frustration that this being would draw his power. He had rolled his eyes so much and so often that he had transcended all mortal fetters. The blue nametag upon his right breast read "Jim."

F' lllln'gha orr'ee

Each of the creatures gazed upon the crowd with an unsettling hunger. They were the predators and those gathered here now were the prey. It seemed that no one noticed their coming. Not even the all-powerful Kings. Oscar, on the other hand, was able to swallow his terror long enough to put up a token resistance against the entities. These heralds of destruction, these four horsemen of the apocalypse, regarded his attempts to beat them back as nothing more than a nuisance. Jim reached forward and grabbed the nearest person, one who had fled the original clash with the kings. At his very touch, the person's avatar shuddered and then shattered. The shards, however, did not fly away on the breeze. They were sucked into Jim's greedy maw. After his meal, Jim rubbed his belly and gave a contented, if malicious, smile. Their feast had just begun.